[Quick Summary: Bumbling King Arthur and his knights encounter silly obstacles while looking for the Holy Grail.]
As you may (or may not) know, this film was shot on a shoestring budget.
How do you get plenty of laughs on the cheap? Visual gags!
The Monty Python gang are among the best at devising the cleverest ones.
For example, see how they foreshadow by repeated use of triads:
ex. "They have ridden past the following signs, all in triplicate: --
CAMELOT 43 CERTAIN DEATH 1
CAMELOT 43 CERTAIN DEATH 1
CAMELOT 43 CERTAIN DEATH 1
[The audience wonders, "Why are there three? A mistake?"]
BEWARE GO BACK DEAD PEOPLE ONLY
BEWARE GO BACK DEAD PEOPLE ONLY
BEWARE GO BACK DEAD PEOPLE ONLY
[The audience sees three again. Ok, not a mistake, but what is going on?]
EXT. GLADE. DAY.
They
now pass three KNIGHTS impaled to a tree. With their feet off the
ground, with one lance through the lot of them, they are skewered up
like a barbecue.
[Is this the punchline?]
Then they pass three KNIGHTS sitting on the ground with one enormous axe through their skulls. They look timorous.
[Is THIS the punchline? No? What's going to happen next?]
SIR
ROBIN rides on a little way with the music building up enormous and
terrifying tension, until suddenly there standing before him is an
enormous THREE-HEADED KNIGHT.
Large terrifying chord.
[We teeter on the tension.]
(Incidentally
the three heads come out of one large body, specially built to
accommodate three actors, although the KNIGHT has the usual complement of
arm and legs. The THREE HEADS of the KNIGHT speak in unison.)"
[Release of tension. All the "threes" make sense and it's a huge laugh!]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The repeated use of a triad of items is funny, and sets up a subliminal expectation of a payoff.
Also, punchlines are often delivered on the third beat. Here, it's on the fifth beat. It works here, but might not always.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
by Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, & Michael Palin
Monday, September 26, 2016
Monday, September 19, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Night and the City (1992) - Improvisation & Editing in Dialogue
[Quick Summary: A fast talking lawyer wheels and deals his way into his dream job of being a boxing promoter.]
This is the last script* in the three published screenplays of writer Richard Price.
I think Price has a great ear for snappy dialogue.
I found his explanations very helpful (from the book's introduction):
Watch how Harry improvises in the moment, and how the words are edited for impact:
ex. The scene below is at an ATM machine. (My thoughts in italics.)
"Abruptly two male voices slide up on either side of Harry - young, menacing.
VOICE #1 (OS): Pull four hundred, bro. That's the daily max, right?
VOICE #2 (OS): Citi lets you pull five.
VOICE #1: Take out five.
[This Q & A is abbreviated, but realistic. Do you know what the limits are? I don't.]
The camera holds on Harry's hands, his card, the screen asking:
"What can I do for you?"
[Time for Harry to improvise.]
HARRY: (fingers paradiddling on the counter) Jesus Christ
(disguted) Here,
(drops the card on the counter) do it yourself, my secret number is 382741. Be my guest.
[Pretty bold move to confuse the robbers.]
VOICE #2 (OS): Just do it.
HARRY: (softly singing) Hey baby, won't cha take a chance...
[Singing is an odd response to such a stressful situation. Good improv.]
Harry pushes "balance information." All three wait, Harry humming.
Screen lights up:
BALANCE: $00.00
YOU OWE CHECKING PLUS $343.37.
HARRY: Know what I mean, chief?
[The visual carries the scene. No need to explain.]
Voices #1 and #2 sigh and hiss...
Harry's hands lay still on the counter as we hear the muggers exit.
Hands lay still for a beat longer. Silence. Then Harry starts humming "Let's Dance" again. He digs into his pockets with one hand and reaches for a deposit envelope with the other.
He stuffs a thousand in hundred dollar bills into the envelope.
We see Harry's face as he turns to the street, sticks out his tongue and licks the envelope shut. It's a gleeful, animated gesture of childish triumph."
[The payoff for the scam is that he wins against the robbers.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When your dialogue drags, make your characters improvise.
Also, dialogue isn't realistic. It needs to be edited for the core of what people mean.
Night and the City (1992)(2nd draft dated 1985, revised w/ comments from Scorsese)
by Richard Price
Adapted from the novel by Gerald Kersh
*It is a 1985 second draft (includes comments from then-attached director Martin Scorsese), not the final 1991 shooting draft (for director Irwin Winkler.) I'm assuming Price liked the 1985 draft best.
This is the last script* in the three published screenplays of writer Richard Price.
I think Price has a great ear for snappy dialogue.
I found his explanations very helpful (from the book's introduction):
I love writing about fast-talkers. I like wheeler-dealers. I love the art of the yackety-yak. I love that because what keeps me fresh as a writer is improvisation. I've got to create scenes in which my characters has got to improvise because then I have to improvise for him....
Good dialogue is not somebody's ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life....Good dialogue on the page is the illusion of reality. It's the essentialization of how people talk. You've got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.So the keys are: 1) Characters improvising, and 2) Editing.
Watch how Harry improvises in the moment, and how the words are edited for impact:
ex. The scene below is at an ATM machine. (My thoughts in italics.)
"Abruptly two male voices slide up on either side of Harry - young, menacing.
VOICE #1 (OS): Pull four hundred, bro. That's the daily max, right?
VOICE #2 (OS): Citi lets you pull five.
VOICE #1: Take out five.
[This Q & A is abbreviated, but realistic. Do you know what the limits are? I don't.]
The camera holds on Harry's hands, his card, the screen asking:
"What can I do for you?"
[Time for Harry to improvise.]
HARRY: (fingers paradiddling on the counter) Jesus Christ
(disguted) Here,
(drops the card on the counter) do it yourself, my secret number is 382741. Be my guest.
[Pretty bold move to confuse the robbers.]
VOICE #2 (OS): Just do it.
HARRY: (softly singing) Hey baby, won't cha take a chance...
[Singing is an odd response to such a stressful situation. Good improv.]
Harry pushes "balance information." All three wait, Harry humming.
Screen lights up:
BALANCE: $00.00
YOU OWE CHECKING PLUS $343.37.
HARRY: Know what I mean, chief?
[The visual carries the scene. No need to explain.]
Voices #1 and #2 sigh and hiss...
Harry's hands lay still on the counter as we hear the muggers exit.
Hands lay still for a beat longer. Silence. Then Harry starts humming "Let's Dance" again. He digs into his pockets with one hand and reaches for a deposit envelope with the other.
He stuffs a thousand in hundred dollar bills into the envelope.
We see Harry's face as he turns to the street, sticks out his tongue and licks the envelope shut. It's a gleeful, animated gesture of childish triumph."
[The payoff for the scam is that he wins against the robbers.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When your dialogue drags, make your characters improvise.
Also, dialogue isn't realistic. It needs to be edited for the core of what people mean.
Night and the City (1992)(2nd draft dated 1985, revised w/ comments from Scorsese)
by Richard Price
Adapted from the novel by Gerald Kersh
*It is a 1985 second draft (includes comments from then-attached director Martin Scorsese), not the final 1991 shooting draft (for director Irwin Winkler.) I'm assuming Price liked the 1985 draft best.
Monday, September 12, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Sea of Love (1989) - When Others Want to Change Your Script; Character
[Quick Summary: Intense homicide cop falls for a female suspect who could be a serial killer.]
Novelist/screenwriter Richard Price understands show BUSINESS:
Price faced this with Sea of Love.
His first pass (1987 draft) was deemed "unshootable." (I liked this draft.)
The final 1988 draft included more for a female star, and a more typical Hollywood structure and ending. (I didn't like this draft since the tone changed.)
I understand why producers wanted changes, but it destroyed what I liked best.*
Yes, the script wanders a little, but Frank takes us on fascinating mini-adventures.
He's so much more than his job, and I wanted to see more of that side of him.
ex. "INT. REC ROOM
He opens his locker to hang up his sport jacket. On the inside of the door is a photo of a woman, ringed in red, with a diagonal slash across the face a la Ghostbusters. This is Denice.
Detective Gruber, much bigger than Frank, but soft and sad-looking, comes up to him.
GRUBER: Frank...
FRANK: Yo.
GRUBER: I don't want you calling us three in the morning anymore...You want to talk to Denice, you call her decent hours. (beat) Next time you call like that, it's you and me.
FRANK: (unintimidated) You and me?
GRUBER: Try me (Beat) and I want you to take down that picture of her (pointing to the cross-slashed portrait) I find it offensive.
FRANK: (holding his rage) You find it offensive?
Frank slams his locker and walks away, leaving Gruber standing alone, infuriated."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I have no easy answers, but wish the producers had kept it a character piece rather than insisting on a mystery format.
Sea of Love (1989)(draft from 1987)
by Richard Price
Sea of Love (1989)(final draft from 5/26/88)
* "Part of my problem as a screenwriter is that I'm much more engaged by the moment, the veracity of any particular moment, than by what happens next. Think of a screenplay as a pyramid; you've got four characters on the bottom, you have two hours, and they all have to converge at the apex of the pyramid. Well, my problem perpetually is that my guys constantly wander and mosey on their way up, because there's something very interesting ten feet from the base, and there's something over here forty feet up from the base, and they might not ever get to the top of the pyramid except that I have to do it. My heart is in the moment." - Richard Price, p. xvi.
Novelist/screenwriter Richard Price understands show BUSINESS:
...You can pose and play the artist all you want, but if you're going in there you better have your Screenwriter's hat on, not your New York Novelist's hat. You're getting paid by them. It's their project. They've got to sell it in the morning. Now what I have to do is write stuff that I can live with and they can live with.He gets the importance of COLLABORATION:
The whole point of this book for me is that as a screenwriter you are constantly surrendering your vision. And what I am saying now is that my vision, my role as an independent artist, ended with these drafts. Which is not to say that a lot of the stuff that was done after these drafts was not good and necessary....One thing to remember is that the only screenplays that don't get fiddled with are the screenplays that don't get made.So what do you do when your show biz partners want to change your script?
Price faced this with Sea of Love.
His first pass (1987 draft) was deemed "unshootable." (I liked this draft.)
The final 1988 draft included more for a female star, and a more typical Hollywood structure and ending. (I didn't like this draft since the tone changed.)
I understand why producers wanted changes, but it destroyed what I liked best.*
Yes, the script wanders a little, but Frank takes us on fascinating mini-adventures.
He's so much more than his job, and I wanted to see more of that side of him.
ex. "INT. REC ROOM
He opens his locker to hang up his sport jacket. On the inside of the door is a photo of a woman, ringed in red, with a diagonal slash across the face a la Ghostbusters. This is Denice.
Detective Gruber, much bigger than Frank, but soft and sad-looking, comes up to him.
GRUBER: Frank...
FRANK: Yo.
GRUBER: I don't want you calling us three in the morning anymore...You want to talk to Denice, you call her decent hours. (beat) Next time you call like that, it's you and me.
FRANK: (unintimidated) You and me?
GRUBER: Try me (Beat) and I want you to take down that picture of her (pointing to the cross-slashed portrait) I find it offensive.
FRANK: (holding his rage) You find it offensive?
Frank slams his locker and walks away, leaving Gruber standing alone, infuriated."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I have no easy answers, but wish the producers had kept it a character piece rather than insisting on a mystery format.
Sea of Love (1989)(draft from 1987)
by Richard Price
Sea of Love (1989)(final draft from 5/26/88)
* "Part of my problem as a screenwriter is that I'm much more engaged by the moment, the veracity of any particular moment, than by what happens next. Think of a screenplay as a pyramid; you've got four characters on the bottom, you have two hours, and they all have to converge at the apex of the pyramid. Well, my problem perpetually is that my guys constantly wander and mosey on their way up, because there's something very interesting ten feet from the base, and there's something over here forty feet up from the base, and they might not ever get to the top of the pyramid except that I have to do it. My heart is in the moment." - Richard Price, p. xvi.
Monday, September 5, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Color of Money (1986) - Building a House (Structure) to Show Off the Furniture (Dialogue)
[Quick Summary: Old pool shark decides to mentor a young, unseasoned prodigy.]
I am flattened. Destroyed. Wrecked. Gutted.
Have you ever read something so great that it blew your hair back, and made you reach for the good bourbon, while muttering, "Why do I even try?"
THIS is that script. [*cough* Oscar nominated script *cough cough*]
Some snot-nosed non-writer might sneer,"This script is mostly dialogue. Is that all writers do? That's easy."
Yes, it is mostly dialogue, and it looks easy. But do not be deceived.
It is only because the writer* first built a sturdy house (structure) that the furniture (dialogue) could be showcased.
The Setup: Wily Eddie wants to partner with trusting Vincent, who is unsure. Eddie gets Carmen, Vincent's girlfriend, involved. Eddie then tells Vincent that Carmen is restless and dissatisfied.
The Payoff: Note how the seeds of doubt sprout in the scene below.
It is especially clear when Carmen makes fun of Vincent, and he's embarrassed for doubting (see ** below).
ex. "Julian walks over to the bar. Vincent tears open the chips.
VINCENT: You see my girlfriend?
JULIAN: She went out.
VINCENT: Out where?
JULIAN: Hey, she's your girlfriend, man.
Carmen enters the room tapping a fresh pack of cigarettes against the back of her hand.
VINCENT: Everything OK?
CARMEN: (shrugs) Yeah.
VINCENT: Where'd you go?
CARMEN: I went to get cigs.
VINCENT: They see cigarettes here.
CARMEN: So I got 'em across the street, so what.
VINCENT: What, do you mean, you wanted to get some fresh air?
CARMEN: Fresh air? There's ninety thousand cars out there. (beat) What is your problem?
VINCENT: No problem... no problem.
CARMEN: (looking at him screwy) Glad to hear it.
VINCENT: I just didn't know where you went...I was looking for you.**
CARMEN: I'm gonna sit down now, OK?**
VINCENT: Great.
CARMEN: I might go to the bathroom in about ten, twenty minutes.
VINCENT: OK.
CARMEN: I'll come and tell you when, OK?
VINCENT: Hey...I just didn't know where you went... Let's not make a federal production out of it, OK?
CARMEN: OK.
VINCENT: Good.
Vincent returns to the empty table, screw the stick together and powers a monstrous break. He studies the spread. Can't concentrate. Puts down the stick and strides over to Eddie.
VINCENT: Let's do it.
CLOSE-UP - CARMEN
casually looking across the room to Eddie.
Eddie catches her glance, nods, looks away."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The better the writer, the more invisible the structure. Here, it's practically gossamer.
The Color of Money (1986)
by Richard Price
Adapted from the novel by Walter Tevis
* For all you sharp-eyed readers, this is the same Richard Price who co-created and co-wrote the recently acclaimed tv mini-series, "The Night Of" (2016), with Steven Zaillian.
I am flattened. Destroyed. Wrecked. Gutted.
Have you ever read something so great that it blew your hair back, and made you reach for the good bourbon, while muttering, "Why do I even try?"
THIS is that script. [*cough* Oscar nominated script *cough cough*]
Some snot-nosed non-writer might sneer,"This script is mostly dialogue. Is that all writers do? That's easy."
Yes, it is mostly dialogue, and it looks easy. But do not be deceived.
It is only because the writer* first built a sturdy house (structure) that the furniture (dialogue) could be showcased.
The Setup: Wily Eddie wants to partner with trusting Vincent, who is unsure. Eddie gets Carmen, Vincent's girlfriend, involved. Eddie then tells Vincent that Carmen is restless and dissatisfied.
The Payoff: Note how the seeds of doubt sprout in the scene below.
It is especially clear when Carmen makes fun of Vincent, and he's embarrassed for doubting (see ** below).
ex. "Julian walks over to the bar. Vincent tears open the chips.
VINCENT: You see my girlfriend?
JULIAN: She went out.
VINCENT: Out where?
JULIAN: Hey, she's your girlfriend, man.
Carmen enters the room tapping a fresh pack of cigarettes against the back of her hand.
VINCENT: Everything OK?
CARMEN: (shrugs) Yeah.
VINCENT: Where'd you go?
CARMEN: I went to get cigs.
VINCENT: They see cigarettes here.
CARMEN: So I got 'em across the street, so what.
VINCENT: What, do you mean, you wanted to get some fresh air?
CARMEN: Fresh air? There's ninety thousand cars out there. (beat) What is your problem?
VINCENT: No problem... no problem.
CARMEN: (looking at him screwy) Glad to hear it.
VINCENT: I just didn't know where you went...I was looking for you.**
CARMEN: I'm gonna sit down now, OK?**
VINCENT: Great.
CARMEN: I might go to the bathroom in about ten, twenty minutes.
VINCENT: OK.
CARMEN: I'll come and tell you when, OK?
VINCENT: Hey...I just didn't know where you went... Let's not make a federal production out of it, OK?
CARMEN: OK.
VINCENT: Good.
Vincent returns to the empty table, screw the stick together and powers a monstrous break. He studies the spread. Can't concentrate. Puts down the stick and strides over to Eddie.
VINCENT: Let's do it.
CLOSE-UP - CARMEN
casually looking across the room to Eddie.
Eddie catches her glance, nods, looks away."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The better the writer, the more invisible the structure. Here, it's practically gossamer.
The Color of Money (1986)
by Richard Price
Adapted from the novel by Walter Tevis
* For all you sharp-eyed readers, this is the same Richard Price who co-created and co-wrote the recently acclaimed tv mini-series, "The Night Of" (2016), with Steven Zaillian.
Monday, August 29, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Blue Dahlia (1946) - A Character With Honor
[Quick Summary: A Navy lieutenant returns home, only to become a suspect in the death of his estranged wife.]
This is a good, but not great, script.
However, I think it's worth a read because:
1) Chandler wrote this script under unique strained circumstances and timeline;*
2) The protagonist has a code of honor, a frequent theme of Chandler heroes.
Johnny is our honorable hero and prime suspect here.
Since he's a suspect, wouldn't we expect him to pursue the murderer? Yes, but clearing his name is not the sole reason.
His honorable streak is seen in a variety of situations:
- When a friend is about to take the rap for Johnny, he flies into action.
- He does not spill secrets on Mrs. Harwood, even though it could've benefited him.
- In the scene below, he takes the responsibility of confronting his wife's lover.
ex. "INT. HARWOOD'S BEDROOM
As Harwood comes up to the bureau, Johnny following. Johnny leans in the doorway. Harwood goes to work on his tie again.
HARWOOD: If you had good sense, you'd be five hundred miles away. Half the cops in L.A. are looking for you.
JOHNNY: Only half?
HARWOOD: All I have to do is pick up the telephone - and you'd go out of here in handcuffs.
JOHNNY: Why don't you?
Harwood finishes tying his tie and turns.
HARWOOD: I guess I'm not that kind of rat.
JOHNNY: What kind of rat are you?
HARWOOD: Not a police informer anyway.
JOHNNY: Neither am I - so far.
HARWOOD: Whatever that means.
Harwood doesn't answer.
HARWOOD: You rate yourself a pretty tough boy, don't you?
JOHNNY: Tough enough to find out who killed my wife.
Harwood picks up his dinner jacket, starts to put it on.
HARWOOD: Everybody seems to think you killed her.
JOHNNY: Not quite everybody. I think you killed her.
HARWOOD: Don't be a dope. Just because I took Helen out a few times - and you put on that injured husband act...
JOHNNY: What would be a dope in your book?
HARWOOD (impatiently): A guy without sense enough to get out while he can - and hole up in some quiet place where they don't know you -
JOHNNY (cutting in on him): They don't know me here.
HARWOOD: They soon will.
JOHNNY: Go ahead. It's only a nickel call.
Harwood looks at him, puzzled. The doorbell rings in the living room. Neither man pays any attention to it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: An honorable man isn't a goody-two shoes, but one who abides by his unwritten code. (Note to self: Define the code first.)
Also, I know morally ambiguous characters are popular these days, but an honorable character in a morally ambiguous situation is quite refreshing.
The Blue Dahlia (1946)
by Raymond Chandler
*Do not miss producer John Houseman's fascinating account (a star leaving for the war; a half done script; Chandler's heroic intoxication): Lost Fortnight, A Memoir
**For more: Afterword: Raymond Chandler and Hollywood, by Matthew J. Buccoli
This is a good, but not great, script.
However, I think it's worth a read because:
1) Chandler wrote this script under unique strained circumstances and timeline;*
2) The protagonist has a code of honor, a frequent theme of Chandler heroes.
Johnny is our honorable hero and prime suspect here.
Since he's a suspect, wouldn't we expect him to pursue the murderer? Yes, but clearing his name is not the sole reason.
His honorable streak is seen in a variety of situations:
- When a friend is about to take the rap for Johnny, he flies into action.
- He does not spill secrets on Mrs. Harwood, even though it could've benefited him.
- In the scene below, he takes the responsibility of confronting his wife's lover.
ex. "INT. HARWOOD'S BEDROOM
As Harwood comes up to the bureau, Johnny following. Johnny leans in the doorway. Harwood goes to work on his tie again.
HARWOOD: If you had good sense, you'd be five hundred miles away. Half the cops in L.A. are looking for you.
JOHNNY: Only half?
HARWOOD: All I have to do is pick up the telephone - and you'd go out of here in handcuffs.
JOHNNY: Why don't you?
Harwood finishes tying his tie and turns.
HARWOOD: I guess I'm not that kind of rat.
JOHNNY: What kind of rat are you?
HARWOOD: Not a police informer anyway.
JOHNNY: Neither am I - so far.
HARWOOD: Whatever that means.
Harwood doesn't answer.
HARWOOD: You rate yourself a pretty tough boy, don't you?
JOHNNY: Tough enough to find out who killed my wife.
Harwood picks up his dinner jacket, starts to put it on.
HARWOOD: Everybody seems to think you killed her.
JOHNNY: Not quite everybody. I think you killed her.
HARWOOD: Don't be a dope. Just because I took Helen out a few times - and you put on that injured husband act...
JOHNNY: What would be a dope in your book?
HARWOOD (impatiently): A guy without sense enough to get out while he can - and hole up in some quiet place where they don't know you -
JOHNNY (cutting in on him): They don't know me here.
HARWOOD: They soon will.
JOHNNY: Go ahead. It's only a nickel call.
Harwood looks at him, puzzled. The doorbell rings in the living room. Neither man pays any attention to it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: An honorable man isn't a goody-two shoes, but one who abides by his unwritten code. (Note to self: Define the code first.)
Also, I know morally ambiguous characters are popular these days, but an honorable character in a morally ambiguous situation is quite refreshing.
The Blue Dahlia (1946)
by Raymond Chandler
*Do not miss producer John Houseman's fascinating account (a star leaving for the war; a half done script; Chandler's heroic intoxication): Lost Fortnight, A Memoir
**For more: Afterword: Raymond Chandler and Hollywood, by Matthew J. Buccoli
Monday, August 22, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Blow Out (1966) - Challenging Script = Thinking Outside the Box
[Quick Summary: A swingin' 1960s London photographer thinks he may have photographed a murder in progress.]
I hate stale, lazy writing.
To stay fresh and sharp, I will occasionally pick a thought provoking, challenging, often thorny, script to read.*
This script meets all those criteria.
It was a game changer in 1966 (mostly for the graphic nudity), and captured the feel of 1960s London. I think its themes of youth and ennui are still relevant.
So why is this script challenging? Well, it has a thriller feel, but no firm solution. You can't read this for the format (paragraphs of action). People move around, but not much happens on the outside.
"Wait! We aren't supposed to do that!" you say.
Yes, and this is where the script requires you to work a little harder.
You have to suspend every thought of "What's the point?" and just go on the ride.
For example, I learned that the writers are not all that interest in plot (setups and payoffs). They are interested in realism and a character wakening to an internal life.
They don't care about answers. They do want you to walk away feeling deeply.
ex. "GIRL: I... I've come... I've come for the photographs.
Thomas eyes her curiously.
THOMAS: Well, how did you manage to find me?
The girl avoids his eyes.
GIRL: Do you live here?
THOMAS: Mmm....
Thomas switches on a few scattered lights, motions her to sit down, and switches on the record player. The music is a very slow guitar.
THOMAS: Drink?
She wanders about as if looking for something.
Without waiting for her to answer he pours two whiskeys, and turns in her direction with the glasses.
THOMAS: What's so important about my bloody pictures?
Camera follows Thomas as he goes up to her, now settled on the couch, to give her the glass. She holds him with her eyes.... Doesn't take the glass.
GIRL: That's my business.
Thomas puts her glass down. She gets up and stands stiffly opposite him. Both are obscured by an overhead beam. Close-up of Thomas, drinking and saying as if recollecting a pleasant memory:
THOMAS: The light was very beautiful in the park this morning. Those shots should be very good. Anyway, I need them.
Close-up of the girl, leaning against a cross-beam. She is tense, insisting...
GIRL: My private life's already in a mess. It would be a disaster if...
She moves away."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script taught me that it's possible to move an audience, without things I expect (3 act format, answers neatly tied up, etc.)
A new tools to use now!
Blow Out (1966)
by Michelangelo Antonioni & Tonino Guerra
* I like the superb blog Cinephilia and Beyond, which often points me to films and directors that I have not heard of before, and probably would not ordinarily find.
I hate stale, lazy writing.
To stay fresh and sharp, I will occasionally pick a thought provoking, challenging, often thorny, script to read.*
This script meets all those criteria.
It was a game changer in 1966 (mostly for the graphic nudity), and captured the feel of 1960s London. I think its themes of youth and ennui are still relevant.
So why is this script challenging? Well, it has a thriller feel, but no firm solution. You can't read this for the format (paragraphs of action). People move around, but not much happens on the outside.
"Wait! We aren't supposed to do that!" you say.
Yes, and this is where the script requires you to work a little harder.
You have to suspend every thought of "What's the point?" and just go on the ride.
For example, I learned that the writers are not all that interest in plot (setups and payoffs). They are interested in realism and a character wakening to an internal life.
They don't care about answers. They do want you to walk away feeling deeply.
ex. "GIRL: I... I've come... I've come for the photographs.
Thomas eyes her curiously.
THOMAS: Well, how did you manage to find me?
The girl avoids his eyes.
GIRL: Do you live here?
THOMAS: Mmm....
Thomas switches on a few scattered lights, motions her to sit down, and switches on the record player. The music is a very slow guitar.
THOMAS: Drink?
She wanders about as if looking for something.
Without waiting for her to answer he pours two whiskeys, and turns in her direction with the glasses.
THOMAS: What's so important about my bloody pictures?
Camera follows Thomas as he goes up to her, now settled on the couch, to give her the glass. She holds him with her eyes.... Doesn't take the glass.
GIRL: That's my business.
Thomas puts her glass down. She gets up and stands stiffly opposite him. Both are obscured by an overhead beam. Close-up of Thomas, drinking and saying as if recollecting a pleasant memory:
THOMAS: The light was very beautiful in the park this morning. Those shots should be very good. Anyway, I need them.
Close-up of the girl, leaning against a cross-beam. She is tense, insisting...
GIRL: My private life's already in a mess. It would be a disaster if...
She moves away."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script taught me that it's possible to move an audience, without things I expect (3 act format, answers neatly tied up, etc.)
A new tools to use now!
Blow Out (1966)
by Michelangelo Antonioni & Tonino Guerra
* I like the superb blog Cinephilia and Beyond, which often points me to films and directors that I have not heard of before, and probably would not ordinarily find.
Monday, August 15, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Strip Search (2004) - Hypocrisy; Visual Irony
[Quick Summary: Several stories, in 2 parts. After 9/11, the same line of questioning is used for 2 interrogations in 2 countries. One is "acceptable," the other is not.]
This script made me uncomfortable, and it should.
If I had to summarize the theme, it would be "Hypocrisy: You can dish it out, but you can't take it."
In one story, the writer uses parallel situations in the US and in China:
- When the US gov't questions and humiliates a character born in another country, it seems acceptable.
- But when China questions and humiliates a US character - with the exact same questions, tone, actions, etc. - it is unacceptable.
This is not a "feel good" or (apparently) popular film. But it is thought provoking.
(I wonder if it would have been different if it was a satire?)
I found that mere juxtaposition of the same dialogue for the US scenes and then the China scenes allows the audience to put 2+2 = Hypocrisy.
Also, the writer then added this scene as a summary of our attitude today. Note the visual irony of the last line:
ex. "EXT. BATTERY PARK/MANHATTAN - DAY
MCGRATH buys hot dog from VENDOR, as JOHN SCANLON, newspaper reporter, calls to him.
SCANLON: Yo, Ned --
MCGRATH turns, sees SCANLON, groans.
SCANLON (cont.): I hear you fellows made a bust today, arrested some terrorist.
MCGRATH: Who told you that?
SCANLON: I never reveal my sources. This terrorist --
MCGRATH (bites into hot dog): I don't know what you're talking about
SCANLON: Ned, come on --
MCGRATH: We haven't arrested anyone, that's the truth.
SCANLON: Are you holding anyone? Questioning anyone? Sticking a hot poker up some poor towel-head's ass?
MCGRATH (eats): No comment.
SCANLON: At least give me the schmuck's name --
MCGRATH: No comment. (eats) You know the way these "schmucks" manipulate the judicial system -- and the media -- to their advantage.
SCANLON: My editor's been biting off my dick. Tell me something --
MCGRATH: You give me your source, I'll see what I can do.
SCANLON shakes his head, frustrated.
SCANLON: Ned, come on, this is me. We've always helped each other out. I spin for you, you spin for me. Remember in Kazakhstan --
MCGRATH (finishes hot dog): Ancient history, pal, back before the flood.
MCGRATH tosses napkin into trash can, goes. On SCANLON, looking up at where the World Trade Center used to be...
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I need to be more aware of how the juxtaposition of scenes (A, B, C) build on one another (A+B+C) to equal (= D) what I want the audience to conclude.
Strip Search (2004)(final draft; dated April 24, 2003)*
by Tom Fontana
*This was a tv movie on HBO, directed by Sidney Lumet.
This script made me uncomfortable, and it should.
If I had to summarize the theme, it would be "Hypocrisy: You can dish it out, but you can't take it."
In one story, the writer uses parallel situations in the US and in China:
- When the US gov't questions and humiliates a character born in another country, it seems acceptable.
- But when China questions and humiliates a US character - with the exact same questions, tone, actions, etc. - it is unacceptable.
This is not a "feel good" or (apparently) popular film. But it is thought provoking.
(I wonder if it would have been different if it was a satire?)
I found that mere juxtaposition of the same dialogue for the US scenes and then the China scenes allows the audience to put 2+2 = Hypocrisy.
Also, the writer then added this scene as a summary of our attitude today. Note the visual irony of the last line:
ex. "EXT. BATTERY PARK/MANHATTAN - DAY
MCGRATH buys hot dog from VENDOR, as JOHN SCANLON, newspaper reporter, calls to him.
SCANLON: Yo, Ned --
MCGRATH turns, sees SCANLON, groans.
SCANLON (cont.): I hear you fellows made a bust today, arrested some terrorist.
MCGRATH: Who told you that?
SCANLON: I never reveal my sources. This terrorist --
MCGRATH (bites into hot dog): I don't know what you're talking about
SCANLON: Ned, come on --
MCGRATH: We haven't arrested anyone, that's the truth.
SCANLON: Are you holding anyone? Questioning anyone? Sticking a hot poker up some poor towel-head's ass?
MCGRATH (eats): No comment.
SCANLON: At least give me the schmuck's name --
MCGRATH: No comment. (eats) You know the way these "schmucks" manipulate the judicial system -- and the media -- to their advantage.
SCANLON: My editor's been biting off my dick. Tell me something --
MCGRATH: You give me your source, I'll see what I can do.
SCANLON shakes his head, frustrated.
SCANLON: Ned, come on, this is me. We've always helped each other out. I spin for you, you spin for me. Remember in Kazakhstan --
MCGRATH (finishes hot dog): Ancient history, pal, back before the flood.
MCGRATH tosses napkin into trash can, goes. On SCANLON, looking up at where the World Trade Center used to be...
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I need to be more aware of how the juxtaposition of scenes (A, B, C) build on one another (A+B+C) to equal (= D) what I want the audience to conclude.
Strip Search (2004)(final draft; dated April 24, 2003)*
by Tom Fontana
*This was a tv movie on HBO, directed by Sidney Lumet.
Monday, August 8, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Night Falls on Manhattan (1996) - Dealing With Moral Grey Areas
[Quick Summary: A new assistant D.A. is about to win a big case in which his father, a narcotics cop, is wounded while apprehending a dope dealer, but it all falls apart.]
Recently, I saw a comment on Twitter that the increased online outrage over films was because audiences today do not know how to deal with negative emotions.
This thought intrigued me.
How do we write stories that deal with negative emotions? Grey areas?
Can't we just have happy, happy stories? (NO. It's unrealistic, and worse, it's boring.)
For me, Sidney Lumet was a master of delving into moral grey areas.
He didn't shy away from taking you through the fire and seeing the bleakest of human behavior, yet his films always ended on a hopeful note.
This script is exceptionally grey, complicated, and human.
I think there are two keys to this script:
1) Everyone is shown with BOTH heroic and selfish traits.
2) No one can escape the tough decision(s). Good men do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
ex. "MORGENSTERN: Sean, when we capture Jordan, and we will, he's going to be tried. It's the easiest case this office will ever have. He left one empty gun behind. His prints are on it. And I'll bet you whatever you want ballistics to find bullets in one of those four cops that came from that gun. He's the worst dope dealer in Harlem, a murderer of his own people, a monster. As I said: easiest case to ever come in this office. I hope they get him alive. Because I want him put on trial by this office. And you know who the prosecutor is gonna be?
Elihu smiles.
MORGENSTERN (cont): You, Sean. You're gonna try him.
Elihu's smile freezes on his face. Sean looks pole-axed.
MORGENSTERN (cont): That's right. You Sean. (to Elihu) You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
ELIHU: Well - Morgy - with apologies to you, Sean - Morgy, it's a giant case. Sean has never tried anything this close to this, in size, in importance.
SEAN: Mr. Morgenstern -
Morgy starts to cut in.
SEAN (cont): Morgy - Mr. Harrison's right. I'm too inexperienced - A mistake could -
MORGENSTERN: There's no problem here. My son would win this case and he's not out of high school. And he's stupid. This case is not complicated....
He eases Sean out of the room, crosses to his desk, pops a pill. Elihu is sitting in stoney silence.
ELIHU: Why are you doing this?
MORGENSTERN: He's at the top of the class. It's a simple case. I got a feeling about him.
ELIHU (after a pause): You mean it?
MORGENSTERN: You bet your goy ass I do.
ELIHU: You realize I'll have to resign.
MORGENSTERN: So, resign.
ELIHU: Morgy, I'm senior trial counsel. Turning this over to anybody but me is an insult that's incredibly damaging to me. To my career. But to turn it over to an ADA with eight months experience is more than insulting. It's shocking, humiliating. It's unacceptable.
MORGENSTERN: Listen to me, you prick. You think I don't know what's going on? The walls have ears, my friend. Those planted stories in the papers? Morgenstern is old, Morgenstern's got heart problems, Morgenstern's lost his touch. That's your work, Eli. You and that goddamn PR firm you hired. You though I didn't know? I got lots of friends, Eli. People owe me."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED:
Night Falls on Manhattan (1996)
Based on the book by Robert Daley, "Tainted Evidence"
Recently, I saw a comment on Twitter that the increased online outrage over films was because audiences today do not know how to deal with negative emotions.
This thought intrigued me.
How do we write stories that deal with negative emotions? Grey areas?
Can't we just have happy, happy stories? (NO. It's unrealistic, and worse, it's boring.)
For me, Sidney Lumet was a master of delving into moral grey areas.
He didn't shy away from taking you through the fire and seeing the bleakest of human behavior, yet his films always ended on a hopeful note.
This script is exceptionally grey, complicated, and human.
I think there are two keys to this script:
1) Everyone is shown with BOTH heroic and selfish traits.
2) No one can escape the tough decision(s). Good men do the wrong thing for the right reasons.
ex. "MORGENSTERN: Sean, when we capture Jordan, and we will, he's going to be tried. It's the easiest case this office will ever have. He left one empty gun behind. His prints are on it. And I'll bet you whatever you want ballistics to find bullets in one of those four cops that came from that gun. He's the worst dope dealer in Harlem, a murderer of his own people, a monster. As I said: easiest case to ever come in this office. I hope they get him alive. Because I want him put on trial by this office. And you know who the prosecutor is gonna be?
Elihu smiles.
MORGENSTERN (cont): You, Sean. You're gonna try him.
Elihu's smile freezes on his face. Sean looks pole-axed.
MORGENSTERN (cont): That's right. You Sean. (to Elihu) You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
ELIHU: Well - Morgy - with apologies to you, Sean - Morgy, it's a giant case. Sean has never tried anything this close to this, in size, in importance.
SEAN: Mr. Morgenstern -
Morgy starts to cut in.
SEAN (cont): Morgy - Mr. Harrison's right. I'm too inexperienced - A mistake could -
MORGENSTERN: There's no problem here. My son would win this case and he's not out of high school. And he's stupid. This case is not complicated....
He eases Sean out of the room, crosses to his desk, pops a pill. Elihu is sitting in stoney silence.
ELIHU: Why are you doing this?
MORGENSTERN: He's at the top of the class. It's a simple case. I got a feeling about him.
ELIHU (after a pause): You mean it?
MORGENSTERN: You bet your goy ass I do.
ELIHU: You realize I'll have to resign.
MORGENSTERN: So, resign.
ELIHU: Morgy, I'm senior trial counsel. Turning this over to anybody but me is an insult that's incredibly damaging to me. To my career. But to turn it over to an ADA with eight months experience is more than insulting. It's shocking, humiliating. It's unacceptable.
MORGENSTERN: Listen to me, you prick. You think I don't know what's going on? The walls have ears, my friend. Those planted stories in the papers? Morgenstern is old, Morgenstern's got heart problems, Morgenstern's lost his touch. That's your work, Eli. You and that goddamn PR firm you hired. You though I didn't know? I got lots of friends, Eli. People owe me."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED:
Night Falls on Manhattan (1996)
Based on the book by Robert Daley, "Tainted Evidence"
Monday, August 1, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Running on Empty (1988) - Specificity: Helping Others Read Between the Lines
[Quick Summary: After years on the run with his parents, Danny, a talented pianist, applies to Julliard, which starts a chain of painful and freeing events.]
How do you get an audience to "read between the lines"?
How do you explain things to readers without TELLING them?
Perhaps one clue comes from Rogert Ebert, who gave this film four stars, wrote:
This script is very specific, and I think that is why it's such a great read.
I noticed that the scenes have a specific intention, a specific purpose to accomplish.
Each character also has a specific intention, which often conflicts with others.
The more specific the movement or words, the more unspoken implications are understood.
EXAMPLE #1:
- The scene intention: To show the family moves often.
- Character intentions: The boys express sadness. Mom comforts, yet is realistic.
"INT. CHEAP MOTEL ROOM
The two boys from the earlier scene are lying on the motel bed watching the news. The woman is seated next to them on the bed. She's taking pins out of her hair.
HARRY (seeing the dog): There's Jomo.
WOMAN: You two get out of your jeans and into bed.
No one makes a move.
HARRY (still talking about the dog): What's gonna happen to her?
WOMAN: Someone will take her home.
Harry doesn't appear convinced.
HARRY: We never had to leave her before.
WOMAN: I'm sorry, kid."
EXAMPLE #2:
- The scene intention: To show Annie/Mom has past feelings for visitor Gus.
- Character intentions: Annie tries to maintain normalcy. Gus drags up romantic feelings.
"INT. POPE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Gus and Annie sit on the floor with coffee mugs. Annie leans against the foot of the couch. Gus rolls a joint.
GUS: You haven't changed a bit, Annie.
ANNIE: We better keep to discipline. It's Cynthia. (she's silent a moment) I've changed. (but she's not going to tell him about it) Under this Miss Clairol is a grey bush.
GUS (he's not to be so easily deflected): I look at you and I see you standing on the corner of Michigan Avenue in a Mexican blouse and big silver earrings.
ANNIE: That was a long time ago.
GUS: How's Artie?
This question has many levels. She knows it and answers ambiguously.
ANNIE: He's okay. He did some work in Florida on a toxic waste dump. Here he organized a food co-op. And he's trying to get his restaurant to unionize.
He didn't mean this.
GUS: How are you and Artie?
She answers this the same way.
ANNIE: We're okay. It's hard.
GUS: I think about you.
ANNIE: I think about you. (now she qualifies it) I hope you're safe.
GUS (looking around): How do you manage this? Kids. A house. A regular life.
ANNIE: I'm a good liar.
She puts down her cup and stretches out on the floor. He watches her.
ANNIE: God, I'm tired.
GUS: Here. Give me your feet."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've never really considered how to show the character's specific intent through action. It makes sense that More Specificity = More Clarity.
Running on Empty (1988)(3rd draft, dated 1/20/87)
by Naomi Foner
How do you get an audience to "read between the lines"?
How do you explain things to readers without TELLING them?
Perhaps one clue comes from Rogert Ebert, who gave this film four stars, wrote:
Lumet is one of the best directors at work today, and his skill here is in the way he takes a melodramatic plot and makes it real by making it specific.Hmmm...specific? What does that mean?
This script is very specific, and I think that is why it's such a great read.
I noticed that the scenes have a specific intention, a specific purpose to accomplish.
Each character also has a specific intention, which often conflicts with others.
The more specific the movement or words, the more unspoken implications are understood.
EXAMPLE #1:
- The scene intention: To show the family moves often.
- Character intentions: The boys express sadness. Mom comforts, yet is realistic.
"INT. CHEAP MOTEL ROOM
The two boys from the earlier scene are lying on the motel bed watching the news. The woman is seated next to them on the bed. She's taking pins out of her hair.
HARRY (seeing the dog): There's Jomo.
WOMAN: You two get out of your jeans and into bed.
No one makes a move.
HARRY (still talking about the dog): What's gonna happen to her?
WOMAN: Someone will take her home.
Harry doesn't appear convinced.
HARRY: We never had to leave her before.
WOMAN: I'm sorry, kid."
EXAMPLE #2:
- The scene intention: To show Annie/Mom has past feelings for visitor Gus.
- Character intentions: Annie tries to maintain normalcy. Gus drags up romantic feelings.
"INT. POPE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
Gus and Annie sit on the floor with coffee mugs. Annie leans against the foot of the couch. Gus rolls a joint.
GUS: You haven't changed a bit, Annie.
ANNIE: We better keep to discipline. It's Cynthia. (she's silent a moment) I've changed. (but she's not going to tell him about it) Under this Miss Clairol is a grey bush.
GUS (he's not to be so easily deflected): I look at you and I see you standing on the corner of Michigan Avenue in a Mexican blouse and big silver earrings.
ANNIE: That was a long time ago.
GUS: How's Artie?
This question has many levels. She knows it and answers ambiguously.
ANNIE: He's okay. He did some work in Florida on a toxic waste dump. Here he organized a food co-op. And he's trying to get his restaurant to unionize.
He didn't mean this.
GUS: How are you and Artie?
She answers this the same way.
ANNIE: We're okay. It's hard.
GUS: I think about you.
ANNIE: I think about you. (now she qualifies it) I hope you're safe.
GUS (looking around): How do you manage this? Kids. A house. A regular life.
ANNIE: I'm a good liar.
She puts down her cup and stretches out on the floor. He watches her.
ANNIE: God, I'm tired.
GUS: Here. Give me your feet."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've never really considered how to show the character's specific intent through action. It makes sense that More Specificity = More Clarity.
Running on Empty (1988)(3rd draft, dated 1/20/87)
by Naomi Foner
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Garbo Talks (1984) - Using Non Sequiturs in Comedy
[Quick Summary: A dedicated son seeks high and low to fulfill his dying mother's wish to meet Greta Garbo.]
This is a comedy.
...which ISN'T an exciting fact, except this IS a Sidney Lumet directed comedy.
...which IS exciting because Lumet did not direct many comedies at all. (In fact, he's states that he's not very good at comedy.*)
OK, so the execution of the script may not have hit it out of the park.
But is the script good??! Why did it attract Lumet, Anne Bancroft, and Ron Silver?
The script is a tremendous work of comedy.
I wonder how many hours it took to hone, and hone, and hone so the comedy became this sharp.
I particularly liked how the script portrays the mother Estelle through non sequiturs.
Estelle is eccentric and maddening, but sane.
I liked that she would choose a non sequitur and run it all the way to its furthest conclusion.
These "logical" non sequiturs fit this character well. They are broad, but not wacky. They rail against injustice, and champion the underdog.
ex. "ANOTHER ANGLE - AS A WAITRESS
comes over.
WAITRESS: Hello.
ESTELLE: I'll have the chicken salad plate.
The waitress writes it down.
GILBERT: Just coffee.
ESTELLE (to waitress): You don't reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. That's very nice.
FAVOR WAITRESS
She hasn't the slightest idea what Estelle is talking about. Estelle sees her consternation and explains, pointing to the bottom of the menu.
ESTELLE: In the south, restaurants used to print, 'We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone' on the bottom of menus ---
ANGLE - GILBERT
Convulsing in his chair with embarrassment:
GILBERT: Mother, for Godssake!
FAVOR ESTELLE
She ignores him.
ESTELLE: They did this to keep black customers out. They would lie and say it was to keep out drunks, but everyone knew differently. You still see it on menus today. It's nice to see it's not on yours.
WAITRESS (after speechless beat): Anything else?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When Estelle goes off on a rant/non sequitur, it seems random but it is not.
She has a purpose in mind.
From a writing standpoint, it's a great way to sneak in the character's point of view on topics, while still delivering laughs.
Garbo Talks (1984)(undated)
by Larry Grusin
*I have not seen the film, but this fact could very well be true, if Roger Ebert's one star review is to be believed.
This is a comedy.
...which ISN'T an exciting fact, except this IS a Sidney Lumet directed comedy.
...which IS exciting because Lumet did not direct many comedies at all. (In fact, he's states that he's not very good at comedy.*)
OK, so the execution of the script may not have hit it out of the park.
But is the script good??! Why did it attract Lumet, Anne Bancroft, and Ron Silver?
The script is a tremendous work of comedy.
I wonder how many hours it took to hone, and hone, and hone so the comedy became this sharp.
I particularly liked how the script portrays the mother Estelle through non sequiturs.
Estelle is eccentric and maddening, but sane.
I liked that she would choose a non sequitur and run it all the way to its furthest conclusion.
These "logical" non sequiturs fit this character well. They are broad, but not wacky. They rail against injustice, and champion the underdog.
ex. "ANOTHER ANGLE - AS A WAITRESS
comes over.
WAITRESS: Hello.
ESTELLE: I'll have the chicken salad plate.
The waitress writes it down.
GILBERT: Just coffee.
ESTELLE (to waitress): You don't reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. That's very nice.
FAVOR WAITRESS
She hasn't the slightest idea what Estelle is talking about. Estelle sees her consternation and explains, pointing to the bottom of the menu.
ESTELLE: In the south, restaurants used to print, 'We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone' on the bottom of menus ---
ANGLE - GILBERT
Convulsing in his chair with embarrassment:
GILBERT: Mother, for Godssake!
FAVOR ESTELLE
She ignores him.
ESTELLE: They did this to keep black customers out. They would lie and say it was to keep out drunks, but everyone knew differently. You still see it on menus today. It's nice to see it's not on yours.
WAITRESS (after speechless beat): Anything else?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When Estelle goes off on a rant/non sequitur, it seems random but it is not.
She has a purpose in mind.
From a writing standpoint, it's a great way to sneak in the character's point of view on topics, while still delivering laughs.
Garbo Talks (1984)(undated)
by Larry Grusin
*I have not seen the film, but this fact could very well be true, if Roger Ebert's one star review is to be believed.
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