TODAY'S NUGGET: Ask the Dust (2006) - How Robert Towne Makes Two Lovers Dueling in a Room Work

[Quick Summary: In 1933 Los Angeles, a down-on-his-luck author is struggling to write his second novel, and meets a girl.]

I've not mastered how to write an entire script only with two characters in a room.

Frankly, I run out of things to write about, and then rely too much on distractions like guns, car chases, explosions, etc.  

However, writer Robert Towne* seems to thrive - even specialize - in the dynamic between characters.  He makes it look so easy that I forget we've hardly moved. 

What does he do that's so special?  I think it's the way he makes the interior life seen.  Motives and desires spit and crackle. I can't turn pages fast enough.

For example, in the scene below:
- The protagonist Bandini is a starving writer. He has one last nickel.
- He enters the coffee shop to buy one last coffee with cream.
- The waitress gives him curdled milk which ruins his coffee.
- He's insulted until he sees her shabby shoes, which don't match her uniform.
- He starts to laugh at her, silently. She sneers at him.
- What comes next? His surprising actions are shocking...then mocking.
- I was impressed at the creativity to express outwardly whatever was inside of Bandini. Towne likely had to make things up, since the novel is in the first person.
- Also, I was impressed at Towne's ability to capture the chemistry, the fine line of passion and hate between the characters. It's the uncertainty that's captivating. 

INT. COLUMBIA BUFFET

...BANDINI: Maybe you don't know any better. Maybe you're just naturally careless. But if I were you I wouldn't be seen in a Main Street alley in those huaraches.

Bandini spits this last word out himself.

THE WAITRESS

stands trembling under the starched stiffness of her smock, her fists writhing in her pockets.

WAITRESS: I hope you die of heart failure. Right there in that chair.

Bandini tries to laugh, but it's hollow The waitress' dark eyes are flashing once more. She waltzes away and stands in front of the bar again, looking insolently back at Bandini.

BANDINI

the smile still on his face, grows red and sweaty. He tugs at his tie, trying to loosen it, but it won't loosen He grows more frantic, desperately pulling at it like it's a noose strangling him Then, utterly without warning he clutches his chest, and collapses, his head smacking the tabletop. The thick sludge in the coffee cup shakes like jello.

THE WAITRESS

is appalled. The bartender looks accusingly at her. She mutters something in Spanish and hurries back over to the table, frantic.

WAITRESS: --it wasn't my fault, I didn't do nothing I swear to God, I just asked him if he wanted more coffee, young fellow, you there, say something, please!..

She's now trembling with terror and guilt. Bandini's not moving. Then slowly he rises to a sitting position. The sneer is back on his face.

BANDINI: You can dish it out, but you can't take it, can you?

He points to the nickel on the table top.

BANDINI: You want the nickel?

He overturns the coffee cup on it. The brown sludge spreads across the table and starts to trickle onto the floor.

BANDINI: Then mop it up.

He rises insolently out of the chair, and walks to the door. There he turns and gives the waitress a salute of farewell.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Here, Towne makes the characters' inner life visible.  Bandini and the waitress liked each other, but were covering up shame and embarrassment with cutting hostility. 

How did Towne craft the scene? He created a situation where they have to intersect. It helps that each character stands in the way of the other's goal.

ex.  Bandini interrupts her job. She ruins his enjoyment of his last morsel of sustenance.

Ask the Dust (2006)(3/30/93 draft)
Directed and written by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by John Fante

*Towne was known mostly as a writer, but also directed about four other films.  Towne wrote and directed this film, which was also his last film.

** EXTRA: I hope these words from Mr. Hackmuth, Bandini's editor, will encourage you, as they did to me: 

HACKMUTH'S V.O.: --p.s. As to your anxieties about your limited experience with life in general and women in particular, it is alas, a truism that author's generally have less experiences than other men, this owing to the incontestable fact that you simply can't be in two places at once, Mr. Bandini. Either you're in front of the typewriter writing or you're out in the world having experiences. Therefore since you need to write and you need to have experiences to write about - you have to learn to do more with less. And doing more with less is, in a word, Mr. Bandini what writing is all about -

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Firm (1993) - How Robert Towne Sneaks Something Extra Into A Montage

[Quick Summary: When a white shoe Memphis law firm seduces a new law school grad, he discovers that it is not the trustworthy firm that he had thought it to be.]

Q: What is the purpose of montages? 
A: Most writers use them as fast and quick information dumps, ex. back story, additional facts, minor characters, etc.

Q: You mean there are other uses?
A:  Experienced writers will make them do double duty, ex. add motives in subtext. 

But exceptional writers will sneak something unusual into them. For example, in today's script, writer Robert Towne shows the characters' emotional progression.

In the scene below:
- Mitch is beginning to work at The Firm. 
- Previously, he and his wife Abby were living in a small Boston apartment, but very happy.
- Yes, this is a standard information dump of their new lives in Memphis.
- But it also shows what motivates the couple (wealth, connection).
- And most impressively, it moves us through emotional changes through increased separation, physically (spending time apart) and emotionally (not a team).

MONTAGE - DAY

A. Mitch's office: An exquisite cherrywood desk is put in place.

B. School Classroom. Abby writing on the blackboard, "My name is Abigail McDeere."

C. Mitch's office. An Early American painting being carefully hung on the wall.

D. Mitch's face watching luxurious items put in place in the office.

E. Tailor shop. Through the window we see Mitch being fitted in new clothes. Avery, arms folded, watches.

F. The Firm. Mitch at the huge library table, pouring over various volumes.

G. McDeere House. Abby, propped up in ed alone, grading papers.

H. Mitch's fingers as he runs them along the leaded panes of an imposing breakfront.

I. Mitch's office -- transformed. Oliver beams at Mitch, behind his exquisite desk, in his perfect office.

K. McDeere house. Night. Mitch rushes in, looks for Abby. Hearsay comes bounding up, jumps on Mitch.

Mitch notices a note wrapped around his collar. He unrolls it. WE SEE it reads: GAVE UP WAITING. SHARE BOWL OF KIBBLE WITH BEARER OF NOT. YOUR FIRST WIFE  ABBY.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The level of difficulty in this montage reminds me why Robert Towne was so sought after for his craftsmanship.

First, it is simple to read. Second, I marveled at depth of the emotional arc, while still maintaining the speed of the narrative. It still felt like these are real people, in a real relationship. Third, it's cinematic. 

The Firm (1993)(12/2/92 draft)
by Robert Towne & David Rayfiel
Adapted from the novel by John Grisham

TODAY'S NUGGET: Frantic (1988) - "Lean & Economical"Jealousy for BOTH Parties in One Scene

[Quick Summary: After an American doctor and his wife arrive in Paris for a cardiac conference, she is kidnapped, setting him off on a wild chase to free her.]

This script was co-written by Roman Polanski, and re-written by his Chinatown writer, Robert Towne. 

I thought the first third of the script was great, but the rest was somewhat predictable.  Or, as Roger Ebert always puts it best:

It’s a professional comeback for the director of “Rosemary’s Baby” and “Chinatown,” who was recently reduced to serving as gun-for-hire on the dreary “Pirates.” Every scene of this film feels like a project from Polanski’s heart – a film to prove he is still capable of generating the kind of suspense he became famous for. And every scene, on its own, seems to work. It is only the total of the scenes that is wrong. The movie goes on too long, adds too many elaborations and tacks on too many complications, until the lean and economical construction of the first hour begins to drift into self-parody. (emphasis mine)

I attribute that "lean and economical construction" to Towne because it contains: 
a) his trademark clever observations of human emotions; and
b) fully rounded parts. No one is simply there to prop up the protagonist. 

For example, the scene below is about jealousy -- for BOTH parties:
- Dr. Richard and his wife Sondra arrive at the hotel.
- At the desk, he is given a message from a Dr. Alembert to confirm a lunch.
- No one is supposed to know when they're arriving.
- Sondra resigns herself that Richard is going to choose the doctor over her.
- Not how quickly the tables are turned for both of them. This appears often in Towne's scripts and it's difficult to do.

INT. SUITE - BEDROOM - WINDOW

...Again she indicates the note in Richard's hand.

RICHARD: Don't confirm the lunch.

SONDRA (furious): Why not? You did tell Alembert when we were arriving a day early, didn't you, obviously you want to see him -- come on now, Richard, give me the note and don't mess around. [She feels hurt and jealous, assuming his work is more important.]

She goes for it with a swipe and misses. Richard puts it in his mouth and chews it. [I love this action because it was so unexpected from a serious doctor.]

RICHARD (as he chews): ...I didn't tell him when we were arriving...Maurice Alembert is chairman of the convention...(having some difficulty) ... not only that --  [I like this added bit of humor.]

SONDRA: Richard, don't swallow it, you'll choke -- [She is more concerned about his welfare than her feelings.]

RICHARD (still chewing): -- Oh now. [More humor.]

SONDRA: Well at least let me get you some water to wash it down.

RICHARD (following her into the bathroom): ...Not only that, Maurice Alembert doesn't give a goddam about me ever since he saw you at the Berkeley seminar last year. 'Ow is your charming wife? Be sure and bring Sondra when you come..' I'm not the only man in Paris who wants to sleep with my wife! [It's amazing at how quickly Towne turns the tables on Sondra because Richard is jealous too. This is not a one sided relationship. ]

Sondra pauses, glass in hand over the bathroom sink.

SONDRA: -- At the Berkeley seminar? ...Was he the one with the long legs who took is shoes off when he spoke? [More humor because she didn't realize who Alembert was, or her effect on him.]

RICHARD: Never mind. You're not spending the day with anybody but me.

He takes her in his arms, pausing to spit out the last of the Alembert note in the sink. Sondra suppresses a giggle and kisses him.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Towne's craft for construction is on full display here.

It's not that both parties are jealous, or that the tables are turned for both of them, but that it all happens in ONE scene in such a crisp, but emotional, manner.

Frantic (1988)(final draft, 4/10/87, with revisions)
by Roman Polanski & Gerard Brach (uncredited: Robert Towne, Jeff Gross)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Personal Best (1982) - What the "Weather of These Women's Hearts" with Power Dynamics Looks Like

[Quick Summary: Complicated power dynamics arise when Chris, a second string female college athlete, gets involved with Tory, her bisexual female friend/competitor/role model.]

Q: Why are writer Robert Towne's scripts still so great?
A: He combined two things writers have in short supply: confidence, and an understanding of people that he was able to express on paper.

Q: I understand people. Why aren't my characters as well-rounded?
A: Roger Ebert explains what makes Towne so good:

What distinguishes “Personal Best” is that it creates specific characters–flesh-and-blood people with interesting personalities, people I cared about. “Personal Best” also seems knowledgeable about its two subjects, which are the weather of these women’s hearts, and the world of Olympic sports competition. (emphasis mine)

Q: You mean fickle feelings? What's the big deal?
A: Towne is exceptionally good at knowing how to play humans against each other.  He can tease several strands of human emotion into one coil.*

It is evident in the scene I've chosen below, as well as the scene prior.

In the prior scene:
- Chris meets Tory's ex-boyfriend Willie Lee at a party after an Olympic trials meet.
- Tory drinks and dances with Willie Lee, smokes a joint, and takes coke.
- The coach (another of Tory's ex-flings) enters and sees Tory is unwell.
- He tells Tory to go to bed, but Tory refuses to go without Chris.
- Chris is happy talking with friends.
- Tory tells Chris it's "time for bed," but Chris isn't ready to leave.
- Angry Tory yanks Chris, ends up hitting a fellow competitor.  She is escorted out.
- The coach pulls Chris aside to asks her to continue to look out for Tory.
- Wow, look at all the various strands of emotion that Towne pulled! EVERYONE had different secrets (agendas, addictions, crushes, etc.)

In the scene below:
- The next day, Tory apologizes to Chris, who doesn't understand why Tory was so angry.
- Notice here that Chris begs Tory to stay together.  Later, when Chris is stronger, and Tory wants to help her, Chris will push her away.
- Also note the ebb and flow of the power dynamics.  In the previous scene, Tory was the needy one.  Now it has flipped and Chris is the vulnerable one.

INT. FALCON - CAL POLY TRACK PARKING LOT - DAY

TORY: You worry about what everybody thinks - why should you be different with me?
CHRIS: I guess I'm not.

She starts out of the car.

TORY: There's only one thing to do Chris - see other people.
CHRIS: See other people? What are you talking about?
TORY: Either we're together or we're not together.
CHRIS: Jesus Chris, Tory, we're friends.
TORY: Yeah, we may be friends but every little once in a while we also fuck each other - and you can't face that.  It hurts - and pain is pain and to do anything you got to live with it and you can't and I can't make you. Either we move out or I move out and we really are friends.
CHRIS:  -  no.
TORY: No?

Chris is clearly stunned by Tory. 

CHRIS: - I..I..need to be around you. I need to know you're there..I..Just need to be around you.

Tory smiles tightly.

TORY: Oh hell, don't worry. We'll still work out together.
CHRIS: No that's not it you make me feel like I can really do something, like I'm really gonna do..I just need you...

She trails off clutching at Tory's hand. Tory stares at Chris' white-knuckled hand over hers. WIth mild disgust: 

TORY:  - for what?

Chris continues to stares at her own lap. Tory impatiently turns away and looks out the window. Finally, a whisper: 

CHRIS: I just need you.

Tory mutters 'oh, fuck' at the seeming tepid response and starts out of the car. She's jerked back by the fierce grip Chris has on her hand. Surprised and annoyed she turns on Chris.

CHRIS

stares back trembling, then finally has to look down again - still grips Tory's hand.

TORY

tries to hold out but her resolve finally breaks.

TORY: All right, weirdo, let's go work out. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon - 

Chris nods gratefully and the two bound out of the car.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't find the characters talking about feelings boring here at all. I think it's because they made unexpected, yet very honest choices, with stakes.

Personal Best (1982)
Written & directed by Robert Towne

* As a sidebar, I will note:
1) Showing these patterns of behavior often requires more time, i.e., higher page count.

2) I was surprised that I did not feel any dragging in the 172 pages of this script. 

3) Towne wrote AND directed this script, so was likely not hemmed in by someone else demanding fewer pages.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Days of Thunder (1990) - What Readers are Looking for in a Writer's Voice (Confidence)

[Quick Summary: A rookie stock car driver gets his chance at the big leagues.]

Both last week (written by Walter Hill) and this week's (written by the late, great Robert Towne) scripts are ACTION films, but they're written very, very differently. 

So WHY do they work so well? What can we learn?

1) FIT THE STYLE TO THE STORY. As we saw, Hill's single line, haiku style is well suited to the kind of stories he wants to tell, i.e., to the point, muscular, blunt.

Towne is writing about the stretch-and-pull of relationships in an action packed NASCAR season.  He writes in paragraphs, though they are engrossing.

2) CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING. Though they have very different styles, why do I think Hill and Towne are confident writers? That I'm in "good hands"?

First, the scripts sets out early what they're trying to accomplish, and then delivers it. The writers clearly know what the brief is.

Second, the scripts are easy to follow with a light touch. It takes a lot of experience not to over explain or leave logic gaps.  

Third, there is a panache, a showmanship that is unique to the writer.

An example from Towne is the scene below:
- Harry retired from building race cars, after getting unfairly blamed for a crash.
- Harry gets a second chance and build a new car.
- Note the visuals that Towne uses to unconsciously remind us of the stakes involved for Harry, ex. scythe over his head, "dreaded template."
- Note the logic is easy to follow.  A busy shop = full of the energy and promise a new car brings.
- Note the last line. Instead of saying "MONTAGE," Towne gives us more literary flourishes: "impressionistic, like time-lapse photography," "birth of a living thing, opening of a flower."

INT. HARRY'S GARAGE (EARLY MORN)

Harry comes in and turns on the light. He looks up at the silver scythe hovering over his head and in a fuller view it can be seen as the dreaded template, the profile of the car he must now build.

Henry looks to the roll-cage and suspension bare bones, and the only thing on the floor beneath it.

Sunlight flashes through the window and hits the roll cage. It seems to set off the welding and pounding and grinding of shiny steel, the precision cutting and buffing and fitting of fiberglass moldings as Harry furiously works with at least half a dozen men. DISSOLVE through as CAMERA moves around the rollcage and it becomes progressively encased in its silver skin - the car becoming slowly recognizable. 

Periodically the template is lowered and men painstakingly check to see the car fits into the template silhouette and swear when it's off a few millimeters. A mock engine is mounted to provide clearance for the hood differentials and gear-boxes fill the air, the pictures of fine southern ladies on the calendars change as the weeks go by and the work progresses. DISSOLVE THROUGH. The car is being painted a day-glo green and yellow with City Chevrolet painted in the primary sponsor's spot across the hood. This entire process of the car's creation should be impressionistic, like time-lapse photography - as though we're looking at organic growth, the birth of a living thing, the opening of a flower. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I particularly liked that last line.  I understood Towne was approximating the scene to the best of his ability, but also felt like he was giving other crew permission to dream too. 

That's confidence in the material, as a screenwriter.

Days of Thunder (1990)(11/20/89, 1st draft)
by Robert Towne

TODAY'S NUGGET: Shampoo (1975) - Juggling Love Triangles

[Quick Summary: In 1968, George, the hairdresser who just wants to open his own shop, can barely juggle several love triangles, jealous women, and a shaky financier.]

I'm exceedingly impressed by the love triangles in this script.*

Here's a short summary (if you want to follow along):
- This is a story about George and 4 others: his ex (Jackie), his new girl (Jill), his married lover (Felicia), and Felicia's husband who is the money man (Lester).
- George is currently sleeping with Felicia and Jill, and used to date Jackie.
- Lester has fallen for Jackie and doesn't want Felicia to know.
- George wants to own his own salon but is broke. Felicia introduces him to Lester.
- Lester may invest, but wants George to escort Jackie to a party in which Lester and Felicia are attending.
- George has a date with Jill, but agrees to take Jackie. Someone else invites Jill.
- All five characters attend the party, and misunderstandings follow.

How was it possible to keep George's numerous relationship so clear in all the chaos?

I think it's because each character was fully formed. Each one had:
- a well defined desire from the start, i.e., what he/she wants
- a conflict with one (or more) character(s).

For example, in the scene below at the beauty shop:
- Felicia wants George and is willing to take crumbs. (Felicia v. George)
- George wants to keep the women happy and get his own shop with the fewest number of strings attached. (George v. women)
- Jill wants George to commit to a relationship. (Jill v. George)
.
ex. "FELICIA: George!

George winks at Mary, heads back.

FELICIA (continuing; going right on): I'm not used to that kind of treatment.

GEORGE: What kind of treatment?

FELICIA (going right on): I've never been treated that way, and I'm not going to start now.

GEORGE: Jesus, I don't know, baby, I been cutting too much hair lately. I'm losing all my concepts...

Jill has entered the shop. She approaches George.

JILL: George.

GEORGE: Hey, baby, what's happening?

JILL: They want me to go to Egypt for three weeks.

GEORGE: Great.

Jill stands there now, not knowing what to say.

GEORGE (continuing): Jill, say hello to Felicia.

JILL: Hello

FELICIA: Hello.

JILL: George.

GEORGE: Yeah, baby...

JILL: How did it go at the bank?

George looks away.

GEORGE: Great.

JILL: Could I talk to you for a second?

GEORGE: Hey, I'm, you know --

JILL: Could I?

George moves away from Felicia.

GEORGE: Yeah.

JILL (with some feeling): I said I wasn't sure if I could go.

GEORGE: Go where?

JILL (impatiently): Egypt!

GEORGE: Oh great, listen, baby, I gotta get back, okay?

JILL: Okay, but how did it go at the bank?

GEORGE: Great...can we talk later?

NORMAN (the shop's owner): George!"

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  It is so clear here what desires drive the characters.  (Yet until I started writing, I had no idea how difficult it was to articulate clearly.)

Also, it was refreshing to see well rounded female antagonists with lives of their own instead of flat, 2-D props for the protagonist.

Shampoo (1975)(undated)
by Robert Towne and Warren Beatty

*Was this a comedy? A drama + comedy? I am not sure, but it was funny!

TODAY'S NUGGET: Greystoke (1984) - When You're Ahead of Your Time

[Quick Summary: A human baby is adopted and raised by African apes.]

I do not normally read early rough drafts.

However, this one stirred my curiosity.

First, this draft is solely written by Towne.

Second, he must not have liked the rewritten version, as he used a pseudonym in the credits.

After reading Towne's undiluted vision, I can see why he and the producers probably didn't see eye to eye.  It is an inventive script, but years ahead of its time:

- This is a story about Tarzan mastering the raw, primal jungle elements, which I liked.  (More commercial fare would probably focus on Tarzan and Jane, or how Tarzan adjusted to society.)

- It's nearly a silent film, i.e., apes don't talk. (I liked this, but others might prefer more dialogue.)

- Energetic action chases in the trees, killing a bushpig, etc. well suited for using CGI...except this script was written in 1977 when CGI wasn't possible.

ex. "SILVER BEARD

who has grown more frenzied, charges from behind  her and actually grabs at her baby, tearing it out of her arms, shaking the screeching little ape at the stormy sky as he plunges toward the trees.

KALA

is horrified. She lets out a frenzied scream herself and chases after Silver Beard.

BY THE TREES

she catches up to him, bites him on the neck and nimbly plucks her baby out of Silver Beard's grasp.

SILVER BEARD

is astonished at being challenged. His shock turns to rage. With a roaring scream, he takes off after Kala.

KALA WITH HER BABY

clinging onto her back leaps into the trees in an effort to elude Silver Beard."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Let your imagination really soar, even if the current technology isn't ready yet.

This script could easily be bought today, though it is 39 yrs. old. Its emotions are still THAT engaging.

Greystoke (1984)(draft dated 8/4/77)
by Robert Towne
Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Yakuza (1974) - How to Tell a Story: Drama, Transitions

[Quick Summary: An American goes to Japan to rescue a friend's daughter who has been kidnapped by the criminal yakuza.]

Would I have green lit The Yakuza in 1974 (Sydney Pollack, Robert Mitchum)? YES.

Would I green light The Yakuza today? YES.

So what sets Robert Towne scripts apart?  Quite simply, he knows how to tell a story.

"Tell a story?!" you scoff, "How hard is that?!"  Beat. "So how does he tell a story?"

The short answer: I don't know.

The long answer: I still don't know, but I see a few helpful clues in his scripts.

First, he understands drama.*

Second, he understands transitions. This is not simply getting in and out of a scene.

It is getting in, getting out, emphasizing important points, moving the story forward, all without shouting, "LOOK AT ME!"

In the scene below, watch how the writer:
- moves the story from the sedan to the gravesite
- shows that this is an honorable woman
- emphasizes that this is an important woman, without saying, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT, HONORABLE WOMAN, AND SHE IS IMPORTANT TO KILMER
- moves us from the gravesite to Kilmer's office

ex. "EXT. TOKYO - PANNING SHOT - BLACK NISSAN SEDAN

driven by a chauffeur. Tono sits stiffly in back. CAMERA FOLLOWS as it drives past an old cemetery. HOLD on the cemetery and PUSH IN to the figure of a lone woman dressed in kimono standing front of a grave.

ANOTHER ANGLE

MOVING PAST ancient shinto grave stones. Lantern shaped and rust colored in the grey light. MOVE INTO TIGHT SHOT of the woman who kneels in front of the grave. The CAMERA STUDIES her beautiful face MOVING IN EVEN TIGHTER until her eyes, nose and mouth FILL THE FRAME, and the IMAGE BECOMES:

INT. KILMER'S OFFICE - EXTREME CLOSE ANGLE - SILVER FRAMED PHOTO

of the woman (twenty years younger). It sits on a cluttered desk. There is the SOUND of a ticker tape over, and then a voice on an intercom:

VOICE (OVER): It's twelve thirty, Mr. Kilmer."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Know your job: Study drama MORE. Study transitions MORE.

The Yakuza (1974)(dated 12/18/73)
Draft by Robert Towne
Story by Leonard Schrader

* Frankly, there's no shortcut except to read the classics, read everything, read, read, read (see John Logan's advice to read classics for language in his BAFTA lecture here).

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Two Jakes (1990) - Two Drafts; Opening Sequence

[Quick Summary: Older and wiser, Jake Gittes is embroiled in a confusing case of cuckolded husband, cheating wife, and the dead man's widow.]

Scripts change from concept to production. A LOT.

This is why I generally avoid previous drafts...

...except this week, I read two drafts of Robert Towne's The Two Jakes.

I WANTED to see how Towne made changes to his scripts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SIDENOTE TO THE READER:
Yes, yes, yes, Towne's scripts are not always pretty on the page.

They tend to be long (140-180 pgs.), convoluted, and full of paragraphs everywhere.

But in an era of copycats, his scripts stand out: an original voice, a grasp on what's missing in today's films, i.e., drama (see essay), and something interesting to say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOOD NEWS: These two drafts (1984, 1985) did not disappoint: a good script, with good bones, complicated characters, everyone is guilty.

BAD NEWS: I was disappointed by how little changed (or needed to be changed) from the 1984 draft to 1985 draft.  Towne seems to have had a solid base from the start. (Sigh.)

I do not know how close these are to the final version, but I leave you to ponder the wonder of the opening shot.

ex. "INT. JAKE GITTES' OFFICE (DAY) - A WIRE RECORDER AND A PAIR OF WING-TIPPED SHOES ON GITTES' DESK-TOP

The glove leather of the shoes contain feet crossed at the ankles, cocked on the heels and nestled up against one another like a pair of love birds.  From time to time the shoes separate an inch or so, then give one another a playful tap - the wire on the recorder moves continuously however, winding tautly around itself. The red light on the machine intermittently flashes to indicate sound levels.

BERMAN'S VOICE (rehearsing, but shaky and nervous): '- oh no, oh no, oh no Kitty, you told me you were going to Murietta Hot Springs and now I find you here at -'

The shaky recitatif breaks off. The shoes have separated, poised in anticipation.

WALSH'S VOICE (a stage whisper): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel -'

BERMAN

an anxious and olive skinned man sitting in front of Gittes' desk and shoes.

BERMAN (going on): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel - in Redondo Beach at two in the afternoon on October 21, 1948 with this man - '

The shoes bump rudely into one another and GITTES sits up into FRAME, visible along with his legs and shoes.

GITTES: Mr. Berman, it's very unnatural for a man to discuss what year it is when he's staring at his wife in bed with another man -

BERMAN: But my lawyer said -

GITTES: - we'll establish the date, let us worry about that. Just -

He gestures gently but firmly in the direction of the recorder."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I picked the wrong two drafts to examine for clues on "how to solve story problems."

I did learn a new word from them, though: "tryptich."

The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 10-28-84)
The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 2-25-85)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Tequila Sunrise (1988) - Atypical Love "Square"

[Quick Summary: A narcotics detective tries to pin his childhood friend, a smooth, personable drug dealer.]

Like Chinatown, this story defies easy description.

It twists and turns on itself, ravels and unravels. It's complicated.

Suffice it to say:
- Frescia and McKussic grew up together. They still like each other.
- Frescia is a narcotics cop now. McKussic may/may not be retired from dealing drug.
- Frescia's superior is pressuring him to use McKussic to find kingpin Carlos.
- Frescia does not want to involve McKussic.
- McKussic has a crush on Jo Ann, the restaurant manager, but is shy.
- Frescia meets Jo Ann and has no problem asking her out.

For 2/3 of the script,* I liked the dynamic of two friends pursuing one woman, but this isn't a typical love triangle.  Crime is added as the 4th person, i.e., a love "square."

In the scene below, I like how that 4th addition make a nice seduction even better.

But it's complicated too: Frescia is trying to flirt with Jo Ann, protect her from McKussic, protect McKussic from the police, yet nail McKussic if he's still dealing. 

"ex. "FULL SHOT - BOOTH - JO ANN AND FRESCIA

seated while a waiter pours champagne. It is Jo Ann who samples it and nods approval, with Frescia watching.

FRESCIA: Arturo's looking at me and I don't think he approves.
JO ANN: Of what?
FRESCIA: The way I look at you -- (quickly) -- It's quite an experience watching you work.
JO ANN: Oh?
FRESCIA: Like you're in a play and everything's on cue. You're kind of letter perfect.
JO ANN: --Thank you.
FRESCIA: Tell me, do you ever flub your lines?

Jo Ann sets down her champagne glass. Pleasantly:

JO ANN: --Is that a polite way of suggesting I lack spontaneity?
FRESCIA: No --I enjoy the performance.
JO ANN: (amused) --But you'd like to see me flustered.
FRESCIA: Seen Mac lately? ... Mr. McKussic is going to ask you to cater a party.
JO ANN: That is our business.

The salad tray rolls up. The waiter hovers over them, mixing the caesars.

FRESCIA: (reluctantly) --Well, we think it involves his business.
JO ANN: Are you suggesting I refuse because it's a party for drug dealers?
FRESCIA: (embarassed) No! (after the waiter leaves) ...It's just if it's for this one particular guy, he's particularly unpleasant.
JO ANN: You mean violent?
FRESCIA: Oh, I doubt that. Unless of course he doesn't like your lasagne.
JO ANN: (amused) I'm sure Mr. McKussic's friend will be very well behaved.
FRESCIA: Why would you call him a friend?
JO ANN: --It's a figure of speech, Lieutenant. Who else would Mr. McKussic give a party for?
FRESCIA: A business associate. As it happens, Carlos and Mac are friends.
JO ANN: --And you and Mac are friends --
FRESCIA: --That's right --
JO ANN: --Well, it sounds like a pretty friendly situation all around --
FRESCIA: Not exactly. Mac and I went to school together in Redondo Beach and played water polo, Carlos and Mac went to ail together in Mexico and played horseshoes and ping-pong. Nobody knows Carlos. Nobody even knows what Carlos looks like but Mac --

Jo Ann carefully places her salad fork prongs down on the plate.

JO ANN:  Then you want to know what Carlos looks like and you're asking me to spy on a customer so you can find out --
FRESCIA: (exasperated) Absolutely not!...Look, let's not discuss my business, his business, or your business, okay?
JO ANN: (pleased with herself) That leaves us with nothing to talk about.
FRESCIA: -- Let's eat."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Towne really is a master of twisting the expected. I expected a love triangle, but not a love square.

Tequila Sunrise (1988)
Written & directed by Robert Towne

* I didn't like the last third nearly as much.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Last Detail (1973) - Dialogue Should Complement the Movement

[Quick Summary: Two sailors decide to live it up while escorting a third sailor to naval prison.]

The 1st reason to get this book: The introduction is a 1995 article Robert Towne wrote, "On Moving Pictures."* ** *** THIS IS WELL WORTH THE PRICE OF THE BOOK.

The 2nd reason: The two (Oscar nominated) screenplays.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I first read the intro article, where Towne writes:

But it has always struck me that in movies, far more than any other dramatic medium, movement, not simply action, is most defining of character.

He goes on to write:

The point is that a fine actor on screen conveys a staggering amount of information before he ever opens his mouth. The screenwriter must be skillful not to interfere with or detract from that information by injudicious dialogue. He must be very skillful with dialogue to add to that information.

Then I saw what Towne meant when I read The Last Detail.

Here, Buddusky and Mulhall don't know each other, or their prisoner Meadows.

However, they have to work together and get Meadows to prison.

They begin to like Meadows, who is naive, well intentioned, and honorable.  They also discover that Meadows has light fingers, especially for candy.

The scene below is about 1/3 into the script.

Note:
-  All the movement around and between characters.
- The dialogue is teasing and complements the movement.
- Movement + dialogue = Buddusky knows Meadows's weakness, Meadows knows Buddusky knows

ex. "EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET - DAY

The bus with CAMDEN on it rolls up. The three start out. Meadows tugs at Buddusky's arm.

MEADOWS: Hey, Bad Ass, want a candy bar?

Meadows flicks his eyes toward the candy counter. Buddusky smiles. He winks at Meadows, grabs him around the scruff of the neck and shakes him with mock roughness.

BUDDUSKY: Get your ass on the bus, sailor."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: A character's movement is primary, and dialogue should complement, not compete.

The Last Detail (1973)
by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by Darryl Ponicsan

*Originally published in Scenario magazine, 1995.

**Even in 1995, Towne was so prescient on many topics: what silent filmmakers knew better than filmmakers today; what is wrong with superhero movies; etc.

***My favorite part is where he explains Hollywood's historic hatred toward writers: "In other words, he is the asshole who keeps everybody else from going to work."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mission Impossible 2 (2000) - How Do We Know These Guys are Friends?

[Quick Summary: Superspy Ethan Hunt must track down the antidote to a disease that may infect millions.]

Let's say you're writing the second installment in a successful franchise.

How do you introduce the characters so that:

- We know these are friends of long standing, AND
- New viewers know how these characters are related, AND
- Seasoned viewers aren't bored?

A couple ways are to show:

- They share a similar sensibility (humor, sports teams, hobbies, etc.).
- They communicate in a common shorthand.

ex. "EXT. COPTER (DAY)

Billy and Luther emerge, Luther with computer looking acutely uncomfortable in a wrinkled suit.

ETHAN'S VOICE: Welcome to Australia, mate.

They look up to a smiling Ethan who points to the ground beneath Luther's feet. Luther looks down to see that he is standing in a pile of sheep-shit.

LUTHER: Thanks - mate.

Both men laugh and all three move to..."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: We know characters are friends because we can see their ease with each another.

Mission Impossible 2 (2000)
by Robert Towne
Story by Ronald D. Moore & Brannon Braga

TODAY'S NUGGET: Robert Towne's Dialogue Contribution to "Bonnie & Clyde" (1967)

I have a deep admiration for screenwriter Robert Towne (Chinatown, Mission Impossible).

I didn't know he did an uncredited pass on Bonnie and Clyde (1967) until I read this interview with the director Arthur Penn:

Cineaste: Robert Towne received a credit as “Special Consultant.” What was that for?

Penn: He wrote certain little scenes in the film as well as some additional dialog, but very telling dialog. In the family reunion scene, for example, when they go back to visit Bonnie’s mother, that scene was in the original script, but it didn’t include Clyde’s explanation to Bonnie’s mother about how as soon as everything blew over he and Bonnie were going to settle down and live right down the road from her. And she says, “You do that and you won’t live long.” That’s Towne. He made some very salient contributions.

I think that is why Robert Towne is so good.

He makes even the small scenes interesting.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mission Impossible (1996) - Opening an Action Film

[Quick Summary: IMF agent Ethan Hawke goes after the elusive "Job" who killed his teammates.]

How do I convey, "This is an action film!" (without saying so)?

Let's examine this opening scene (p. 1-2):

- Jack is inside a hotel room closet in Kiev.
- On a small tv, he watches surveillance of two men in the next room.
- One man (Anatoly) interrogates a sobbing man (Kasminov).
- There's a dead woman on the bed.

Up until this point, this could be a thriller or a drama.

Then on p. 2:

"JACK, impatient, checks his watch.

JACK: Jesus, she's been under too long. Come on, come on!"

A-ha! Jack, and others, are in on the con.

Notice that this is p. 2, and we're moving fast, i.e., action-y pacing.

More clues:

- Jack's concern re: the woman = Urgency
- Anatoly's physicality hurries things up
- Genre words: "bare bulb", "blood", "shabby room"

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  An action opening has suspense, much like a thriller, but its pacing is often quicker (urgency, dire consequences).

Mission Impossible (1996)
by David Koepp & Robert Towne

TODAY'S NUGGET: #3 WGA Script of All Time - Chinatown (1974)

[Quick Summary: A p.i. is hired on an adultery case, but it turns out to be a setup, & he is plunged into a much deeper mystery revolving around LA, land, & water.]

Some people call this the perfectly structured script.

What I like most is that the problem escalates because of Gittes' character traits.

ex.  Mrs. Mulwray hires Gittes.  Gittes takes pictures of Mr. Mulwray with another woman.  There's a big scandal...except that the "Mrs. Mulwray" who hired him wasn't the actual Mrs. Mulwray. 

Gittes has many reasons not to pursue this case, yet he can't put it down.

He's curious and takes pride in his reputation.  He's offended that he was made to look bad & wants to know who set him up.

This isn't business. It's personal.

His traits (curiosity & pride) are great motivators because things get much worse.  He could back off at any time, but it's that darn curiosity that drives him to risk more & more.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The plot is convincing because Gittes is convincing. 

It all stems from believing that Gittes needing to know...& the plot is believable too.

Chinatown (1974)
by Robert Towne