TODAY'S NUGGET: Identity (2003) - How to Infuse Energy into Act 2 (Anticipation of Clues)

[Quick Summary: With a homicidal prisoner potentially on the loose, ten strangers, who are stranded at a lonely motel, are being killed off one by one.]

Q: If you had to sum up this script in word, what would it be?
A: ENERGY.

Q: Even in the dreaded act 2?
A: That's what made it so unusual!  The energy never flagged.

Q: Why is that?
A: Anticipation, i.e., with each clue revealed, the stakes rose for the survivors.

Q: Can you give a good example?
A: In the scene below, notice that our curiosity is lit with an audible clue
--> we see the aftermath of a horror scene, which keeps us curious
--> the characters find more clues
--> they realize what this means for them
--> and we have to turn the page to get to see if they're right.

EXT. COURTYARD -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS

In the rain-soaked earth, Ed finds --

A single shower curtain ring...Then another...

They lead like breadcrumbs from Caroline's room out and away to the rear of the motel. Ed follows them to the walkway of a rundown swimming pool half-filled with rainwater.

Then he notices -- THE SWINGING GATE -- leading out into the black desert. Thunder cracks.

And then he hears it...

A dull metallic thudding...Bang-bang... Bang-bang... He tries to distinguish it from the downpour... Bang-bang... Bang-bang...He heads off around the side of the building...  [Audible clue!]

INT. MOTEL LAUNDRY -- NIGHT

Darkness before Ed switches on the overhead fluorescent... Bang-bang... Bang-bang... THREE DRYERS ARE ON -- But one of them is making the noise... Bang-bang... Inside one of them, something inside is tumbling over and over...

Ed reaches out to a dryer door. Bang-bang... Bang-bang...Opens it... Nothing. It shuts off.

Ed cautiously opens the SECOND DRYER -- NOTHING... It shuts off.

Hesitantly, he opens THE THIRD DRYER -- And finds -- [By the Rule of 3, we expect something here, rhythmically in the story, but there is nothing.]

A pair of sneakers klunking round and round in the dryer. They come to a stop. Ed sighs -- but then notices --

EYES -- staring at him -- reflected in the circular glass on the dryer door -- [Then, BAM! Surprise clue!]

Ed spins around to face --

CAROLINE'S DECAPITATED HEAD staring at him from the fourth dryer cradle. Rhodes and Larry enter and freeze...

LARRY: Oh, Jesus Mother of God. That's a... (notices Ed's stony expression) ...you're real calm for a guy staring at a human head.

Ed considers this.

ED: She wasn't that human. [A little humor can't be bad.]

Rhodes kneels in front of the dryer and reaches inside.

ED (CONT'D): 'The hell you doing?

RHODES: ...There's something in there. [Another clue? Anticipation!]

Ed hands Rhodes a dryer sheet.

ED: Use this.

LARRY: ...You a cop?

Rhodes and Ed lock eyes.

ED: Not anymore.

Rhodes pulls out a BLOOD SOAKED OBJECT and examines it...

IT IS A MOTEL ROOM KEY -- NUMBER TEN. [Clue! What does it mean?!]

LARRY: Oh, man. That is fucked up.

ED: Was she in room ten?

LARRY (shakes his head, then points to Rhodes): ...They were.

ED (to Rhodes): Where's your guy?

RHODES (uneasy): ...'Cuffed to a toilet.  [Oh no!  Gotta turn the page to see if the prisoner guy is still in Rm. 10, or on the loose.]

                                                             CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that the stakes increased organically (threatened the characters in realistic way) vs. artificially (only there to get us from point A to B).

Identity (2003)(revised draft)
by Michael Cooney and James Mangold

TODAY'S NUGGET: Cop Land (1997) - A Bold Bitchy Move; 3-D; Subtext; Tension

[Quick Summary: A sheriff uncovers a dicey coverup in his small New Jersey town, where many NYC cops live.]

I know that this is a story about Freddy, a browbeaten NJ sheriff, who stands up against the citizens of his small town who are staging a big coverup. 

(These are not ordinary citizens, but also are corrupt NYC cops.)

But I'd like to focus on a minor character, Rose Donlan, and her bold bitchy move.

Why?

1 - Rose is a good example of a three dimensional character.*
2 - The scene shows us the mundane things that Freddy faces every day vs. the exciting life that Freddy imagines big city NYC cops have. This is a recurring theme.
3 - The subtext is great. ex. Even the trash silently says something to the recipient.
4 - There's tension. Freddy doesn't want to upset the ringleader's wife.

The scene below is a little complex, so let me clarify a few things:
- Freddy's high school crush, Liz, told him that someone has been dumping trash bags in her yard for weeks. He looked in the bags and found the Donlan address.
- Liz is married to Joey, a NYC cop.
- Rose is married to Ray Donlan, the ringleader cop who runs Freddy and the town.

ex. "EXT. DONLAN HOUSE - 31 DALLAS DRIVE - LATE AFTERNOON

The mailbox says: Donlan.

FREDDY STANDS AT THE DOOR OF THE SPLIT LEVEL HOUSE, the soiled phone bill in hand. before him, A BUSTY MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, ROSE DONLAN (46). Hand on hip, she sucks a cigarette.  [Questioning potential trash dumper is as exciting as it gets for Freddy.]

ROSE: What if I said I don't know where it came from?

FREDDY: I'd take your word for it, Rose. Um. Is Ray home? [Politics. Ugh.]

ROSE: Taking care of our little visitor. [3-D: She drops information that is important later. There are other things going on besides this trash issue.]

Freddy plays with the envelope in his fingers, letting this cryptic remark hang in the air. Rose stares at the envelope. [Tension & Subtext: She knows he knows.]

ROSE: I get my garbage picked up every Tuesday. [Subtext: I'm innocent.]

FREDDY: Alright. Thanks for your time. [He doesn't even fight it.]

He walks back to the car.

ROSE: You tell Joey to come here and talk to me about it if he thinks I've got no right.  [3-D: She can't help herself. She has to tell someone that she's mad at Joey.]

Freddy turns around.

FREDDY: Rose. I want to believe you when you tell me something.

ROSE: Oh you do, do you?

FREDDY: Did you dump these bags or not?

ROSE: This is not a law problem - if you catch my drift. You tell Joey Randone that if he doesn't like my garbage he should stop soiling my sheets. [Subtext: She essentially admits her guilt!]

Rose is miraculously nonchalant - her eyes riveted boldly on Freddy; relishing his discomfort.

FREDDY: Rose, you can't just dump garbage on other people's property. [This is the unglamorous side of the job.]

ROSE: But that glamour boy - he can throw away a woman just like she was garbage and that's okay - is that what you're saying? [Subtext: She admits to more of a relationship than we knew.]

A pause. The phone rings. They stand there.

ROSE: Are you gonna tell Ray about this? [Tension rises.]

Freddy shakes his head. Rose takes a drag of her cigarette. The phone still ringing. She spins around, slamming the door."  [Freddy got information, but no satisfaction.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The use of Rose's trash bags was a super-creative way to send a "drop dead" message. Also, we got to see what Freddy is up against.

Cop Land (1997)(shooting script w/revisions, 8/30/96)
by James  Mangold

*Three dimensional = My definition is that the character seems to have a real life beyond what we see.  He/she is not just there to fill in gaps for the main character.

2018 OSCARS: Logan (2017) - Clarity of Showing What is at Stake; Tension

[Quick Summary: Logan, the Wolverine, escapes with Dr. Xavier and a newly discovered mutant, Laura.]

Yes, this is a Marvel movie.

No, it's not a typical canned "superhero" movie, but actually more of a Western.

Yes, it is Oscar worthy for its level of difficulty and finesse.

No, you should not skip this script even if you don't like Westerns or superhero films.

Why? It does an excellent job of clearly showing what is at stake.

(Another way to look at "stakes":

In order to enjoy a movie [vs. a book], you need to be invested pretty quickly....What do I need to know to care enough to go on this ride? ("Logan & Scott Frank"))

In the scene below, Logan has just illegally bought pills.

Notice:
1) how the writer shows rising tension by using hope-fear-hope-fear; and
2) how the writer reveals WHY Logan is afraid (it's not for himself).

ex. "INT. LOGAN'S LIMO -- OUTSIDE HOSPITAL -- MOMENTS LATER

Logan, now carrying the bag, hurries through the rain to his Limo. [Hope! He got the pills.] He climbs inside starts it up but is startled by the back door opening and closing. Logan spins to face -- [Fear]

A SMILING MAN in the back of his stretch. This is Donald Pierce, 35. A southern boy, smooth and playful.

PIERCE: As I live and breath. The Wolverine. And he's a junkie now. [Fear]

LOGAN: Who the fuck are you?

PIERCE: Y'know, you got some buckshot in your door....

LOGAN: Get out. Now.

PIERCE: Has she found you yet? ...Gabriela? (off Logan's blank look) See, I'm not looking for you, mutey. Not really. I'm looking for someone who's looking for you. She took something of mine. Something for which I am responsible. When I wasn't looking. Mexican lady. Long hair, long legs, Long gone. Has her sights on you. (off Logan's glare) No bells? [Hope. This is not about Logan or anyone he knows.]

LOGAN: I don't know any Gabriela. So get the fuck out.

Pierce just smiles, unfazed, then shifts his gaze to Logan's bag of pills. Peering in, quasi-conspiratorial:

PIERCE: I know what you're hiding, amigo. Cue ball south of the border? [Fear. Pierce knows where Logan's hideout is and who is there.  This is why Logan has been working so hard.]

Logan tenses, says nothing.

LOGAN: What do you want?

PIERCE: A little...cooperation.

Flicks a business card.

PIERCE (cont'd): If she does find you."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When showing what is at stake, be sure to layer in some hope-fear-hope-fear, so that the audience will understand its importance to the character (especially when the audience may/may not agree).

Logan (2017)
by Scott Frank & James Mangold, and Michael Green
Story by James Mangold