TODAY'S NUGGET: Bringing Out the Dead (1999) - Earning the Emotional Landing

[Quick Summary: Over several nights in NYC, a tired, burned out emergency medic wrestles with how to constantly face life and death while on the job.]

This is a well written adaptation, full of raw emotions. 

It's a pretty bleak situation. Frank and his medic co-workers numb themselves from the tragic situations that they encounter every day.  

However, in the middle of a downward spiral, Frank connects with Mary, the estranged daughter of a recent heart attack case.   

The script excels at putting Frank through the wringer.  It externalizes how close he is to the edge, as well as wrestle with how he feels about Mary, who grounds him. 

So when Frank finally gets his big moment with Mary, I felt he earned it. 

EXT. MERCY EMERGENCY -- NIGHT

...MARY: OK, last night I was weak. It won't happen again And all that shit I said --it was just because I was stoned. Forget it.

FRANK: No problem. Thanks for letting me crash. It was the best sleep I've had in months. I used some of your soap.

MARY: I wish these people would leave already. I can't listen to another story. Did you see him? (Frank doesn't answer) That doctor says the brain is coming around. They're waitin gfor the heart to stabilize. I don't know who to believe. He says they still have to keep him tied up.

FRANK: Can I bring you something back to eat --a falafal, some pizza?

MARY: No, we just ate. I only remember how tough my father was. Now I know he had to be like that, to make us tough. This city'll kill you if you aren't strong enough.

FRANK: No, the city doesn't discriminate. It gets everybody.

Walls flashes 16XRay's headlights, hits the horns.

FRANK (CONT'D): I gotta go. Another call.

Frank, his heart pounding, steps closer to her.

FRANK (CONT'D): We're all dying, Mary Burke.

He leans as if to kiss her.

MARY: This is not a good time.

FRANK: There is no time.

He places his hand on her shoulder, kisses her lightly, walks toward Walls and the waiting ambulance.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This emotional moment felt just right and stuck the landing: the tone, brevity, Frank's renewed confidence.

Bringing Out the Dead (1999)(1st draft, 11/7/97)
by Paul Schrader
From the novel by Joseph Connelly

TODAY'S NUGGET: Kundun (1997) - How to Show A Character in Multiple Ages All at Once

[Quick Summary: The story of the Kundun, the 14th Dalai Lama, from childhood to his 20s and dealing with the Chinese take over of Tibet.]

This film's cinematographer has stated that the movie is "very much a poem, rather than a traditional narrative film," more of a "mood piece" than anything else. 

I agree.  The visuals in the script seemed more interested in evoking a feeling rather than laying out plot.

Below is my favorite scene on the page.  I liked that I was never confused who was before me - the present (Tenzin Gyatso), past (Lhamo) or future selves.  

EXT. HILLTOP DAWN

The body of the Dalai Lama's Father lays on a flat boulder.

Incense smoke curls into the air. Prayer wheels are turned, hand drums are played - the burial men stand off to one side, their hatchets and knives in view.

Tenzin Gyatso is present. He is the boy we know, but beside him stands the four year-old boy, Lhamo, from the beginning of the movie, and on the other side of him stands the boy who will play the Dalai Lama in the next section of the film - a boy about fifteen or sixteen.

Tenzin Gyatso wraps his brown rosary around his left wrist. The beads catch the brilliant afternoon light. The sixteen year-old Dalai Lama wears the same colored rosary around his left wrist.

The cutters move in to the corpse, and as we hear them begin the work of dismembering the body, the view pans up to the reveal the vultures circling overhead.

The last person leaving the hilltop with is the Dalai Lama as an older man - not a character from this movie - but a man of about fifty years, wearing glasses, wearing the same robes, the same rosary. Little Lhamo walks beside him.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Don't be afraid to write a little more in favor of clarity. The reader will forgive a few extra words, but won't if it is muddled.

Kundun (1997)(10/16/92 draft)
by Melissa Mathison

TODAY'S NUGGET: After Hours (1985) - Satire Needs Good Pacing & Tension

[Quick Summary: After meeting an intriguing woman at 2 a.m., Paul, a bored computer processor, has a bad, bad, bad, horrible night.]

This is one weird script. Ebert calls this the "tensest comedy" and a satire.

I get "comedy" but "satire"?

In this story, Paul meets a stranger, Marcy, at 2 a.m. in New York.  She invites him to her friend's apartment, and he encounters stranger and stranger situations.

Oh, I see! They're trying to satirize is what it feels like to live in a big city, i.e., the dealing with the unexpected. 

But how to pull it off?

a) Satire = Exaggeration. The writer gave Paul merciless, unrelenting waves of the unexpected.  This is funny for some reason.

b) Pacing & Tension. However, it was crucial to have strong pacing and tension to harness the waves.  Otherwise, it's just random scenes leading nowhere.

In the scene below, note:
- The pacing races along until Kiki's reveal, i.e., the a-ha! moment.
- Paul is quite tense &/or relieved, based on wrong facts.
- The overall effect is feeling discombobulated.  These people are not real, are they?
- It's a funny scene...Is it because of the situation? Or how people respond to tension?

ex. "EXT. SPRING ST.

PAUL begins heading int he direction of the bar, when, crossing a street, he sees, to the south, two FIGURES, one carrying a  TV set and the other that life-size sculpture from KIKI'S loft. The FIGURES stop behind a van parked on the street. PAUL runs toward them.

PAUL: Hey! [This scene establishes Paul's expectations: Robbers stole an acquaintance's sculpture. Paul is offended.]

Hearing this, both FIGURES drop what they're carrying. They quickly climb into the van and drive off, speeding by PAUL who soon reaches the TV, the tube broken, and the sculpture.  He straddles the latter behind him, piggy-back style, and carries it toward Broome St. [Paul has rescued Kiki's stolen property & is relieved.]
                                                                                     CUT TO:

EXT. LOFT BUILDING.

PAUL presses KIKI's buzzer, then looks up at the fourth floor window. KIKI pops her head out, but she is gagged and, apparently, bound. Her head disappears, then pops out again with her keys dangling from her mouth. She lets them fall. [Paul sees Kiki is bound & assumes it was before the robbery. He is tense again.]

INT. LOFT BUILDING.

PAUL rounds a landing with difficulty, the statue an awkward burden. [This is ironic that he wouldn't put down the statue.  This is unexpected & funny.]
                                                                                       CUT TO:

INT. KIKI'S LOFT.

PAUL enters. KIKI is huddled in a corner, tied up. PAUL moves over to her and removes her gag.

KIKI: Paul...

PAUL: Kiki...

KIKI: It's raining!

PAUL: No, it isn't.

PAUL begins to untie her.

PAUL: How'd they get in?

KIKI: How'd who get in?

PAUL: The burglars.

KIKI: What burglars?

PAUL stops untying her, confused. [Pacing: It's been fast, fast, now slows.]

PAUL: The guys I just saw with your sculpture...and a TV set. [Paul states his beliefs.]

KIKI slowly breaks into a grin.

KIKI: Neil and Pepe?..I just sold them my television. What are you doing with my sculpture? [Reveal: Kiki's property was not stolen. Paul's beliefs are upended.]

At that moment HORST enters, dressed in black leather clothing, with spurred boots and spiked bracelets. [Pacing: A new character is introduced, adding to the mayhem.]

KIKI (to PAUL): I'm sorry, but you can't stay the night. Not after the way you walked out on Marcy. Regular ladykiller, aren't ya? [Twist: Kiki is acting as if being bound is normal. This is odd to a normal guy like Paul.]

HORST: This the guy? (to PAUL) I'm Horst. [Twist: Horst is acting as if Kiki being bound is normal too. This is doubly odd for Paul.]

PAUL: Paul. Could you...? (indicates sculpture still on his back)" [Comedy: It's funny that Paul is carrying the sculpture all this time.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  It took me awhile to see the satire.  I am impressed that as weird as it was to read, it was simply grounded, i.e., This guy just wants to go home.

After Hours (1985)(4th draft, dated 6/6/84)
by Joseph Minion

TODAY'S NUGGET: Night and the City (1992) - Improvisation & Editing in Dialogue

[Quick Summary: A fast talking lawyer wheels and deals his way into his dream job of being a boxing promoter.]

This is the last script* in the three published screenplays of writer Richard Price.

I think Price has a great ear for snappy dialogue. 

I found his explanations very helpful (from the book's introduction):

I love writing about fast-talkers. I like wheeler-dealers. I love the art of the yackety-yak. I love that because what keeps me fresh as a writer is improvisation. I've got to create scenes in which my characters has got to improvise because then I have to improvise for him....

Good dialogue is not somebody's ability to write authentic speech as heard in real life....Good dialogue on the page is the illusion of reality. It's the essentialization of how people talk. You've got to know how to edit what people say without losing any of the spirit.

So the keys are: 1) Characters improvising, and 2) Editing.

Watch how Harry improvises in the moment, and how the words are edited for impact:

ex. The scene below is at an ATM machine. (My thoughts in italics.)

"Abruptly two male voices slide up on either side of Harry - young, menacing.

VOICE #1 (OS): Pull four hundred, bro. That's the daily max, right?
VOICE #2 (OS): Citi lets you pull five.
VOICE #1: Take out five.
[This Q & A is abbreviated, but realistic. Do you know what the limits are? I don't.]

The camera holds on Harry's hands, his card, the screen asking:

"What can I do for you?"
[Time for Harry to improvise.]

HARRY: (fingers paradiddling on the counter) Jesus Christ
(disguted) Here,
(drops the card on the counter) do it yourself, my secret number is 382741. Be my guest.
[Pretty bold move to confuse the robbers.]

VOICE #2 (OS): Just do it.

HARRY: (softly singing) Hey baby, won't cha take a chance...
[Singing is an odd response to such a stressful situation. Good improv.]

Harry pushes "balance information." All three wait, Harry humming.

Screen lights up:

BALANCE: $00.00
YOU OWE CHECKING PLUS $343.37.

HARRY: Know what I mean, chief?
[The visual carries the scene. No need to explain.]

Voices #1 and #2 sigh and hiss...

Harry's hands lay still on the counter as we hear the muggers exit.

Hands lay still for a beat longer. Silence. Then Harry starts humming "Let's Dance" again. He digs into his pockets with one hand and reaches for a deposit envelope with the other.

He stuffs a thousand in hundred dollar bills into the envelope.

We see Harry's face as he turns to the street, sticks out his tongue and licks the envelope shut. It's a gleeful, animated gesture of childish triumph."
[The payoff for the scam is that he wins against the robbers.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When your dialogue drags, make your characters improvise.

Also, dialogue isn't realistic. It needs to be edited for the core of what people mean.

Night and the City (1992)(2nd draft dated 1985, revised w/ comments from Scorsese)
by Richard Price
Adapted from the novel by Gerald Kersh

*It is a 1985 second draft (includes comments from then-attached director Martin Scorsese), not the final 1991 shooting draft (for director Irwin Winkler.) I'm assuming Price liked the 1985 draft best.

TODAY'S NUGGET: #41 WGA Script of All Time - Goodfellas (1990)

[Quick Summary: As Henry Hill rises in the ranks of the mafia, he is entangled in vices which are his downfall.]

Voice overs are like dynamite. 

If used improperly, they're like grenades that go off at the wrong time. 

But if the writer knows what he/she is doing, they're like fireworks that illuminate and surprise.

This script is in the latter category.  It's also the first script I've seen where there are not one, but TWO voice overs, i.e., Henry and Karen Hill.

So why does Karen's second voice over work here? 

1 - This is Henry's story and told from Henry's point of view. 

2 - Though Karen's voice over is told from her point of view, she tells us more about HENRY'S life. 

She fills in the blanks about HENRY'S behind-the-scenes problems. She echoes how the audience feels about HENRY.  She reflects HENRY'S point of view.

ex. KAREN (V.O.): "He was an exciting guy. He was really nice. He introduced me to everybody. Everybody wanted to be nice to him. And he knew how to handle it."

ex. KAREN (V.O.): "We weren't married to nine-to-five guys..."

ex. KAREN (V.O.): "None of it seemed like crimes. It was more that Henry was enterprising."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Yes, two voice overs are possible... IF it the 2nd re-emphasizes/amplifies/reflects the main point of view.

Gotta keep the unity-of-story thing intact, you know.

Goodfellas (1990)
by Nicholas Pileggi & Martin Scorsese

TODAY'S NUGGET: #43 WGA Script of All Time - Taxi Driver (1976)

[Quick Summary: A lonely war vet turned taxi driver turns violent to clean up what he views as "trash" in NYC, and manages to save a young prostitute in the process.]

Paul Schrader, the writer, said he knew he was writing about loneliness in this script.

Later, he figured out he was writing about the "pathology of loneliness," i.e., how a person reinforces his loneliness by his own behavior.

What is so compelling about this script is that it announces what it is about, keeps it cohesive, and delivers what it promises in every scene. 

ex. "TRAVIS looks like the most suspicious human being alive.

His hair is cropped short, he wears mirror-reflecting glasses. His face is pallid and drained of color, his lips are pursed and drawn tight. He looks from side to side." 

Now that is loneliness personified just in a description.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script reaches a very deep "a-ha! I've been there" feeling that's hard to express.  

[Even Scorsese said he had to make this picture to express the emotions that he could not express otherwise.]

Taxi Driver (1976)
by Paul Schrader

Mea Culpa (My Fault) Re: Two previous posts

Ann, a sharp reader, sent me a note about the non-sequitur of two previous posts...and I'm gonna swallow my ego & admit she's right.

I re-read my post & was chagrined that I didn't really answer David's question (apologies, David).

So I'm going to re-do the second post & answer his question as I should have.  Because after all, darn it, I swore an oath when I became a reader.  (OK, I made up my own oath, but the fact is that I'm sticking by it.)

The first post  - Scorsese's one liner was unusual for the very fact that the attractive one line of dialogue embodied the movie and AT THE SAME TIME could easily be the logline.  This is very rare & doesn't happen in every script. That's why I was so excited. 

The second post - David asked whether this one line of dialogue should focus on theme or plot.

[Here's where I went off on a tangent in post #2. I didn't focused on the one liner being dialogue -- I focused on a one liner being a logline.]

On further reflection, I'm gonna say both, if possible. ex. The "man or beast" line from Shutter Island sums up the struggle and the arc all in one.

But if I HAD to choose, I'd probably say theme.  To me, the theme tells me your idea - where you want to go, what you want to do, what you're aspiring to reach, i.e., the arc.  The plot I can figure out later, as long as I know the germ of the idea.

Examples of theme:
ex. Tootsie - When a man is forced to pretend to be a woman, he experiences a world he's never known
ex. Jaws - A man eating shark menaces a small town (man vs. beast)
ex. ET - A family pulls together to help an alien who's landed on earth to return home

TODAY'S NUGGET: Scorsese's One Liner

On one of the morning talk shows today, Martin Scorsese mentioned that he wanted to make his latest movie, Shutter Island, in part because of this line: "Is it better to live a monster or die a good man?"

Wow. Now that's what I want to see in a script. One spectacular line that makes an A-lister salivate.

Mind you, I haven't seen the movie nor read the script, but I'm captivated by this one sentence.

Why?

It's got interesting characters - man or beast?

It's got universal conflict - I could be shunned, but still live, OR I could die a hero.

It contains an idea-action, i.e., the idea is monster vs. human, & the action is a man vacillating between both worlds.

It captures my imagination. The movie poster will capture the moment of indecision.

It's an easy sell. ex. "This is a modern day Jekyll and Hyde."

Wish I'd written that line...Or better yet - wish I'd written a script that Scorsese jumped on!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've seen too many scripts that I can't boil down to one sentence. This tells me a one liner is still the gold standard.