TODAY'S NUGGET: The 25th Hour (2002) - Writing a Good Character

[Quick Summary:  On the last day before a 7 year federal incarceration, drug dealer Monty Brogan takes two childhood friends to one last goodbye party.]

The wonder of the rich screenplay is that it contains all of this material about Monty, and yet informs us so fully about the others. There could be a separate movie about Jacob, a pudgy and phlegmatic high school English teacher who is fascinated by a tattoo on the bare midriff of one of his students, and by the girl Mary (Anna Paquin) who wears it. But any move in that direction would be wrong, and he knows it. - Rogert Ebert

This quote reminds me that a good script = good characters.

How to write a good character?  I get less and less articulate as I learn more.

I have noticed is that a good character is one that the audience can easily identify with or recognize on some level, i.e., "Oh, I know who that person is." 

In the scene below, it is the day before Monty is about to go to federal prison.  He wants to know if the most important person in his life has ratted him out.

The audience recognizes why Monty's priorities are so clear, even if we have not been in his shoes. 

ex. "INT. BROGAN'S BAR

Monty returns to the table, sits, drinks some Guinness..

MONTY: Let me ask you a question.

MR. BROGAN: Okay.

MONTY: What do you think of Naturelle?

MR. BROGAN: She's a good girl. Your mother would have liked her.

MONTY: Do you trust her?

MR. BROGAN: Do I trust her? Why do I have to trust her?

MONTY: Do you think I can trust her?

MR. BROGAN: Where you going with this?

MONTY: I've been hearing weird things. (beat) Some people are saying she dimed me out.

MR. BROGAN (incredulous): Why would she do that?

MONTY: I don't know. Maybe the Feds got to her somehow. Blackmailed her.

MR. BROGAN:The girl loves you, Monty. I can't believe she would betray you.

MONTY: Everything's gotten so strange, Dad. I wake up some mornings and it takes me a minute to remember who I am, you know? Where I'm going.

Mr. Brogan looks down at his plate and nods.

MONTY (CONT'D): Most of the people I'm with, I look at them and I think, these are my friends? (beat) The only ones I trust these days are you and the guys I grew up with -- Frank, Jake.

MR. BROGAN: I miss those boys.

MONTY: And Naturelle...Jesus. I can't get it out of my head.

MR. BROGAN: It doesn't really matter now, does it?

Monty stares at his father, blue eyes unblinking.

MONTY: It matters to me."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For me, "getting character on the page" has started to become more "getting a feeling of recognition on the page."

The 25th Hour (2002)(4/30/01 draft)
by David Benioff
Based on his novel

TODAY'S NUGGET: Little Monsters (1989) - A Distinctive Voice

[Quick Summary: After ten y.o. Brian saves the Monster Under the Bed, it allows Brian to follow him around as it causes havoc on other kids.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) STILL POPULAR.  I was surprised at the staying power of this film. Of the 10 copies available through the library, only ONE was available.

2)  VOICE.  Before they wrote Aladdin (and then Shrek, and Pirates of the Carribean), Rossio and Elliot wrote Little Monsters.

I'm sure the script sold because it's a fun kids' adventure.

However, it also is an example of why they get hired again and again: for their distinctive voice (fun, scary, adventure, action).

To me, voice is the WAY the writer writes. 

When I say, "I like his/her voice," I mean that I like the way that writer tells the story.  Clear as mud, right? 

Let's look at an example below.  Notice how the way they build to the scream:

 ex. "INT. STEVENSON HOME - ATTIC ROOM - NIGHT
...

In the kitchen, Brian whips up a baloney-mustard-onion sandwich. He glances at the clock, working under a deadline. [fun sneaking around!]

In the family room Brian -- silently -- pushes an armchair up very close to the television screen. He is careful to turn the volume knob all the way down, then pull on the power switch -- cautiously, lest the 'click' of the switch alert someone.  The screen comes to life slowly. Brian turns up the sound so it is barely audible -- just in time for the opening of 'Late Night With David Letterman.' [more shenanigans]

He settles back. Unseen by Brian a quick, subtle movement -- just a shadow, really -- heads for the stairs. [scary, action]

Brian takes a bite of the sandwich -- [payoff for building sandwich]

-- and then there is a SCREAM that could wake the dead." [scary, adventure begins]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Another way to look at voice: It's the way you write from point A to point B. 

No, you're probably not conscious of it. You are likely conscious of getting from A to B. Work on that.

Little Monsters (1989)(1st draft, 12/9/86)
by Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott

TODAY'S NUGGET: Dolores Claiborne (1995) - Switching Time Without Sluglines

[Quick Summary: A reporter has not been home to Maine in 15 yrs. but returns to deal with her mother Dolores who is accused of murdering her rich, ill employer.]

Tony Gilroy is famous for writing without sluglines.

How does he keep time straight for the reader?  When there are flashbacks too?

I think it starts with keeping the character's current emotional state very clear.

For example, in the scene below, note:
- The structure is to start in the present --> flash back to the past --> return to present.
- The emotional state is confusion in the present --> confusion also in the past --> neither the characters or the audience has all the facts --> we get the confusion.
- Dolores is the mother. Selena is her 30 y.o. daughter who is a reporter now.

ex. "DOLORES at the bottom of the stairs. Crushed. Moving heavily back through the living room and --

     INTO
  
     THE KITCHEN.  DOLORES just about to start putting things away, when she hears SELENA coming back down the stairs.  [PRESENT TIME]

     DOLORES (turning back): Selena?

     SELENA (12) standing at the bottom of the stairs.  Dressed to go out. A backpack. [PAST STARTS HERE]

     SELENA: Don't try and stop me.

WE ARE IN FLASHBACK
    
     We're still in the living room, but it's a bright, Spring afternoon in 1975.

      DOLORES (36) Standing near the kitchen. Bare feet.

      SELENA (backing for the door): Mrs. Devereaux called, she need extra help with the hotel because of the people coming for the eclipse. I'm going to stay over a few days.

      DOLORES: Selena, we talked about this --

      SELENA: I don't care what we talked about! (rushing out the door --) I don't want to be here when you talk to dad about your crazy ideas!

      DOLORES rushing to follow. Not as fast in bare feet. Through the front door and --

      OUT INTO

      The yard. DOLORES running off the porch -- heading across the field -- trying to cut SELENA off --

       DOLORES (yelling as she goes --: Selena! Selenaaaa...!

       SELENA already way ahead -- almost beyond earshot -- SILHOUETTED AGAINST THE SKY as she runs along the road to town and --

       DOLORES running -- trying to chase -- tough without shoes --

       DOLORES: Selena!!! (stopping as --)

       Suddenly -- DOLORES stumbles -- A CRACKING SOUND -- something giving way -- boards breaking -- DOLORES falling -- catching herself -- GASPING -- grabbing at the ground as her legs disappear beneath her -- and then scrambling back up -- standing slowly and staring down at --

      A DRY WELL - covered with rotting boards -- grown over with weeds and scrub -- a black hole there in the middle of nothing and --

MATCH CUT -- OUT OF FLASHBACK TO  [BACK TO PRESENT]

THE ROUND KITCHEN TABLE. Cluttered with Selena's laptop, tape recorder, notebooks, etc...

 DOLORES picks up her glass. Finishes the last of the Scotch."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This is an excellent example of a flashback that gives us information, but is not an info dump.  It's more about the emotional state of affairs.

Dolores Claiborne (1995)(3rd draft, 1/31/94)
by Tony Gilroy
Based on the novel by Stephen King

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Lookout (2007) - How to Show Man at War with Himself

[Quick Summary: Now hampered by a head injury, Chris is a frustrated bank janitor who impulsively decides to assist thugs with a bank heist, then regrets it.]

Chris is angry because he is hampered by a head injury:

- He must write everything down because of his frequent memory lapses.. 
- He has difficulty in social situations because of frontal lobe problems. 

What does Chris want? His old life back.

What is the obstacle?  His trauma. This protagonist is his own greatest antagonist.*

So how do you externalize that a man at war with himself?

I saw one method in this script:
- First, present the protagonist with a routine situation.
- Have the protagonist react in an odd way so we see his internal problem.
- Have other characters react and/or say what the protagonist is probably thinking.

The scene below shows how Chris' trauma gets in the way of what Chris wants most (externalizing the antagonist).

ex. "INT. BAR - NIGHT

...Chris then turns away, sees the BARTENDER watching him. [Normal situation: Chris needs to pay the bar tab.]

BARTENDER (loud, slow): Two-fifty. For. The. Beer.  [This is an insult, disrespectful to Chris.]

"Gary" turns back now and watches as Chris fumbles about for the right amount of cash, pays his tab.

BARTENDER (cont'd): Thank. You. Very. Much.

Gary keeps looking at Chris now. Finally: [Chris's reaction is not to speak up when others would. We see he is used to this treatment and shame.]

GARY: You hard of hearing or something?

CHRIS: No.

Gary nods, turns as the bartender sets Gary's change on the bar, starts to move away when Gary grabs his arm.

GARY: Excuse me...(reads his name tag)...T.J.

The bartender looks down at Gary's hand on his arm.

GARY (cont'd): He's not deaf.

BARTENDER: What?

GARY: He just told me, he's not deaf. [Gary is saying what Chris is embarrassed to say.]

The bartender glances at Chris, pulls his arm free.

BARTENDER: I know he's not.

GARY: There some reason, then, why you keep raising your voice every time you talk to him?

The bartender glances at Chris, then...

BARTENDER: So he can understand.

GARY: Why wouldn't he? [Again, he speaks what Chris thinks.]

The bartender is uncomfortable. Gary looks at Chris.

GARY (cont'd): Can you understand him?

CHRIS: It's no problem...

GARY: Can you understand him?

CHRIS: Yes.

Gary looks at the bartender, and smiles, but it isn't mirth or good cheer that the bartender reads on Gary's face.

GARY: So now you know.

BARTENDER: Now I know.

The guy can't get out of there fast enough. Gary shakes his head."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I'm glad to have found this example, as they do not show up much.

The Lookout (2007)(3/26/04 draft w/revisions)
by Scott Frank

*This takes up the first 2/3 of the script. The last 1/3 is the heist and the usual bad guys take over as antagonists.