[Quick Summary: Dorothea (55), her son Jamie (15), the renter upstairs, Abbie (28), and Julie (17) try to make sense of life in the 1979.]
In this script, Dorothea tries to connect with her son, but it's awkward and imperfect, as real life parenting often is.
To me, this script really stands out because it conveys the day-to-day uncertainty and vulnerability of life so well as a parent, a child, or just a person.
I liked how each character continues to pursue their needs in the face of uncertainty.
I liked that the writer allows the characters to be hurt and vulnerable, i.e., human.
For example, in the scene below:
- Dorothea (mom) wants to connect with Jamie (son)
- Jamie wants to be cool and grown up and doesn't know how
- Abbie wants to "jam on" and forget her present life
ex. "INT. ABBIE'S ROOM - NIGHT
Jamie and Abbie sit together, listening to The Raincoats - Fairytale In The Supermarket. Abbie's looking at the cover, Jamie's looking through her other records.
Dorothea appears in the doorway, observing her son, and his obvious love of this. She enters, sits down and listens with them, an awkward moment.
DOROTHEA: What is that?
ABBIE: It's The Raincoats.
She nods awkwardly to the beat, trying to relate.
DOROTHEA: Can't things just be pretty?
JAMIE: "Pretty" music's used to hide how unfair and corrupt society is.
DOROTHEA: Ah, okay so... they're not very good, and they know that, right?
He just looks at her - 'why're you still here' - she looks at him confused by his pushing her away. Seriously curious.
ABBIE: Yea, it's like they've got this feeling, and they don't have any skill, and they don't want skill, because it's really interesting what happens when your passion is bigger than the tools you have to deal with it. It creates this energy that's raw. Isn't it great?
CU on Dorothea feeling like an outsider, lost."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For me, the gateway into these characters were their uncertainties and vulnerabilities.
I connected because they didn't have all the answers, but kept trying.
20th Century Women (2016)
by Mike Mills
Showing posts with label 2017 Oscars - Best Original Screenplay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2017 Oscars - Best Original Screenplay. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2017
Monday, February 13, 2017
2017 OSCARS: Manchester by the Sea (2016) - Flashbacks that Expand Present State of Mind
[Quick Summary: After his brother dies, a building custodian goes back to his hometown as his nephew's guardian, and faces the ghosts that haunt him.]
I did not expect to like this script as much as I did.
(A very reliable friend had told me, "Great dialogue. Too slow.")
Though I haven't seen the film yet, I found it deeply moving on the page.
Two thoughts:
1) It reads extremely fast. Always double points!
2) It is an unusual use of flashbacks to peer into the main character's (Lee) present state of mind. He experienced trauma a few years ago, but it is still raw.
His emotional state then = His emotional state now.
In the scene below, Lee makes a positive statement about Dr. Betheny --> The flashback expands on his POV of Dr. Betheny, but it is not an "information dump."
ex. "INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR
Dr. Muller and Lee ride down very slowly.
LEE: How is Dr. Betheny?
DR. MULLER: Oh, she's doing very well. She just had twin girls.
LEE: Oh yeah. Irene told me.
DR. MULLER: Apparently weigh about eleven pounds apiece. So she's gonna have her hands full for a while...I'll call her this afternoon and tell her what happened.
LEE: She was very good to him.
DR. MULLER: Yes she was.
EIGHT YEARS AGO --
INT. JOE CHANDLER'S HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.
JOE CHANDLER, Lee's older brother by five years, is lying in the hospital bed. There's a close resemblance between them.
ELISE, Joe's wife, the same age as Joe, pretty, anxious and high-strung -- stands near to STANLEY CHANDLER -- Lee and Joe's father, 70s. He sits in one chair. LEE sits in another.
They are all listening to DR. BETHENY, 30s. She is small, intense, very serious and focused and level-headed, but thoroughly well-meaning and decent. The bed area is curtained off from the other patients in the room.
DR. BETHENY: The disease is commonly referred to as congestive heart failure --
ELISE: Oh my God!
DR. BETHENY: Are you familiar with it?
ELISE: No...!
JOE: Then what are you sayin' "oh my God" for?
ELISE: Because what is it?
JOE: She's tryin' to explain it to us, honey. I'm sorry, Dr. Beth...uh...
DR. BETHENY: Betheny
JOE: I'm sorry. I can never get it right.
DR. BETHENY: Don't worry about it. Not a problem."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Flashbacks are interesting when used to show a stuck character's present state of mind.
Manchester by the Sea (2016)
by Kenneth Lonergan
I did not expect to like this script as much as I did.
(A very reliable friend had told me, "Great dialogue. Too slow.")
Though I haven't seen the film yet, I found it deeply moving on the page.
Two thoughts:
1) It reads extremely fast. Always double points!
2) It is an unusual use of flashbacks to peer into the main character's (Lee) present state of mind. He experienced trauma a few years ago, but it is still raw.
His emotional state then = His emotional state now.
In the scene below, Lee makes a positive statement about Dr. Betheny --> The flashback expands on his POV of Dr. Betheny, but it is not an "information dump."
ex. "INT. HOSPITAL ELEVATOR
Dr. Muller and Lee ride down very slowly.
LEE: How is Dr. Betheny?
DR. MULLER: Oh, she's doing very well. She just had twin girls.
LEE: Oh yeah. Irene told me.
DR. MULLER: Apparently weigh about eleven pounds apiece. So she's gonna have her hands full for a while...I'll call her this afternoon and tell her what happened.
LEE: She was very good to him.
DR. MULLER: Yes she was.
EIGHT YEARS AGO --
INT. JOE CHANDLER'S HOSPITAL ROOM. DAY.
JOE CHANDLER, Lee's older brother by five years, is lying in the hospital bed. There's a close resemblance between them.
ELISE, Joe's wife, the same age as Joe, pretty, anxious and high-strung -- stands near to STANLEY CHANDLER -- Lee and Joe's father, 70s. He sits in one chair. LEE sits in another.
They are all listening to DR. BETHENY, 30s. She is small, intense, very serious and focused and level-headed, but thoroughly well-meaning and decent. The bed area is curtained off from the other patients in the room.
DR. BETHENY: The disease is commonly referred to as congestive heart failure --
ELISE: Oh my God!
DR. BETHENY: Are you familiar with it?
ELISE: No...!
JOE: Then what are you sayin' "oh my God" for?
ELISE: Because what is it?
JOE: She's tryin' to explain it to us, honey. I'm sorry, Dr. Beth...uh...
DR. BETHENY: Betheny
JOE: I'm sorry. I can never get it right.
DR. BETHENY: Don't worry about it. Not a problem."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Flashbacks are interesting when used to show a stuck character's present state of mind.
Manchester by the Sea (2016)
by Kenneth Lonergan
Monday, February 6, 2017
2017 OSCARS: La La Land (2016) - Seduction & the Slippery Slope
[Quick Summary: In modern L.A., an actress and jazz musician struggle with making compromises while chasing their dreams.]
BAD NEWS: I liked it, but didn't love it.
GOOD NEWS: There's a lot going for it. It's focused, full of emotion, and hope.
I especially liked how it shows:
- Success as a slippery slope.
- Seduction is the first step on that slope, and it often is a small, innocent step.
In this story, the main character (Sebastian) wants to open an old school jazz bar of his own. He has resisted modern elements, and is scraping by.
When a modern jazz band offers him big bucks, he reluctantly agrees to meet.
Watch below how success with this band pulls him further from his dream:
ex. "KEITH: Let's play, see how it feels.
He pulls out a guitar. Cole starts on drums. Keith joins in. Malcolm and Tom follow suit. Sebastian listens. It sounds like modern jazz - electronic in feel, but still jazz...
Sebastian approaches the keyboard. Joins --slowly, one step at a time. Then begins playing out a bit more, his fingers starting to race. Malcolm gives Keith a look: "Damn.". Keith gives Malcolm a look back: "I told you so." Bit by bit, Sebastian eases into the groove. This isn't so bad...
Then -- Keith move to a LAPTOP. Introduces a DRUM-MACHINE SAMPLE.
Sebastian, into the music, is caught off-guard. Uneasy now. This isn't him...
Keith plays a riff on his guitar. Tom echoes it on bass, then Malcolm on trumpet. Now it's Sebastian's turn. He hesitates. And then -- finally -- he plays the riff...
It doesn't feel so bad. The guys build on the riff. Sebastian keeps up with them, trying to let go of his presuppositions. [This bolded line is my emphasis. This is why seduction works. How can this small step be harmful?!]
After all --these guys can play ..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Seduction down the slippery slope often begins with one small innocent step...and then another...
La La Land (2016)
by Damien Chazelle
BAD NEWS: I liked it, but didn't love it.
GOOD NEWS: There's a lot going for it. It's focused, full of emotion, and hope.
I especially liked how it shows:
- Success as a slippery slope.
- Seduction is the first step on that slope, and it often is a small, innocent step.
In this story, the main character (Sebastian) wants to open an old school jazz bar of his own. He has resisted modern elements, and is scraping by.
When a modern jazz band offers him big bucks, he reluctantly agrees to meet.
Watch below how success with this band pulls him further from his dream:
ex. "KEITH: Let's play, see how it feels.
He pulls out a guitar. Cole starts on drums. Keith joins in. Malcolm and Tom follow suit. Sebastian listens. It sounds like modern jazz - electronic in feel, but still jazz...
Sebastian approaches the keyboard. Joins --slowly, one step at a time. Then begins playing out a bit more, his fingers starting to race. Malcolm gives Keith a look: "Damn.". Keith gives Malcolm a look back: "I told you so." Bit by bit, Sebastian eases into the groove. This isn't so bad...
Then -- Keith move to a LAPTOP. Introduces a DRUM-MACHINE SAMPLE.
Sebastian, into the music, is caught off-guard. Uneasy now. This isn't him...
Keith plays a riff on his guitar. Tom echoes it on bass, then Malcolm on trumpet. Now it's Sebastian's turn. He hesitates. And then -- finally -- he plays the riff...
It doesn't feel so bad. The guys build on the riff. Sebastian keeps up with them, trying to let go of his presuppositions. [This bolded line is my emphasis. This is why seduction works. How can this small step be harmful?!]
After all --these guys can play ..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Seduction down the slippery slope often begins with one small innocent step...and then another...
La La Land (2016)
by Damien Chazelle
Monday, January 30, 2017
2017 OSCARS: Hell or High Water (2016) - Showing What the Character is Thinking
[Quick Summary: Two brothers go on a spree robbing banks to save their family ranch, while two Texas Rangers track them down.]
What a beautifully written script! Spare, economical, and bristling with energy.
It suits the story, which is about two brothers who survive on their wits and nerves.
The script stays lean by often "showing, not telling" what the characters thought.
In the scene below, how do we know Marcus does not want to retire?
ex. "INT. TEXAS RANGER'S OFFICE -- ABILENE, TEXAS -- DAY
MARCUS HAMILTON, two weeks shy of 70, thick silver mustache, sits at his desk. A large Texas flag tacked to the wall behind him.
He looks over a LETTER from the DPS HEADQUARTERS in Austin. The heading says it all: Mandatory Retirement Referendum.
The letter is worn at the edges -- Marcus has spent a fair amount of time looking it over. [Clue #1: Well worn retirement letter = He's been studying it. This is the setup.]
Marcus packs a can of Copenhagen with fifty year's worth of skill, and sticks a pinch inside his lip.
A younger Ranger, and by younger I mean 50, walks in. His name is ALBERTO PARKER, and aside from his olive skin, he looks almost identical to Marcus: thick mustache, beer belly, gold star on a starched white shirt, bone colored Stetson hat.
PARKER: You hear about these bank robberies?
MARCUS: Why you always dress like me? [Clue #2: He prolongs things. Why?]
Beat.
PARKER: This is our uniform.
MARCUS: We ain't got no uniform. You can wear any color shirt you choose. You just keep choosing mine.
PARKER: Texas Ranger regs say white, blue, or tan dress shirt. Stands to reason every so often we gonna end up dressed the same.
MARCUS: Well, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, Alberto. Did you know that?
Alberto is half Comanche and half Latino, though his twang is as pronounced as any cowboy.
PARKER: Wanna hear about these bank robberies or just sit there and let Alzheimer's run its course?
MARCUS: Where at?
PARKER: First Texas in Archer City and First Texas in Olney.
MARCUS: FBI looking for an assist?
PARKER: Ain't theirs. First Texas ain't got branches outside the state. Not interstate commerce.
A flicker of fire ignites in Marcus's eyes. [Clue #3: The hunt stirs him.]
PARKER (cont'd): You may get to have some fun before they send you to the rocking chair yet.
Marcus's chair squeaks as he leans back.
MARCUS: ... I may have one hunt left in me." [Clue #4: He admits what he wants. This is the payoff from earlier.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: How do I know if the reader will catch on to the 2 +2 that I crafted? Simplest is best.
Here, the scene was crafted so that:
the letter (setup) + idiom in the dialogue (payoff) = He doesn't want to retire.
Hell or High Water (2016)
by Taylor Sheridan
What a beautifully written script! Spare, economical, and bristling with energy.
It suits the story, which is about two brothers who survive on their wits and nerves.
The script stays lean by often "showing, not telling" what the characters thought.
In the scene below, how do we know Marcus does not want to retire?
ex. "INT. TEXAS RANGER'S OFFICE -- ABILENE, TEXAS -- DAY
MARCUS HAMILTON, two weeks shy of 70, thick silver mustache, sits at his desk. A large Texas flag tacked to the wall behind him.
He looks over a LETTER from the DPS HEADQUARTERS in Austin. The heading says it all: Mandatory Retirement Referendum.
The letter is worn at the edges -- Marcus has spent a fair amount of time looking it over. [Clue #1: Well worn retirement letter = He's been studying it. This is the setup.]
Marcus packs a can of Copenhagen with fifty year's worth of skill, and sticks a pinch inside his lip.
A younger Ranger, and by younger I mean 50, walks in. His name is ALBERTO PARKER, and aside from his olive skin, he looks almost identical to Marcus: thick mustache, beer belly, gold star on a starched white shirt, bone colored Stetson hat.
PARKER: You hear about these bank robberies?
MARCUS: Why you always dress like me? [Clue #2: He prolongs things. Why?]
Beat.
PARKER: This is our uniform.
MARCUS: We ain't got no uniform. You can wear any color shirt you choose. You just keep choosing mine.
PARKER: Texas Ranger regs say white, blue, or tan dress shirt. Stands to reason every so often we gonna end up dressed the same.
MARCUS: Well, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, Alberto. Did you know that?
Alberto is half Comanche and half Latino, though his twang is as pronounced as any cowboy.
PARKER: Wanna hear about these bank robberies or just sit there and let Alzheimer's run its course?
MARCUS: Where at?
PARKER: First Texas in Archer City and First Texas in Olney.
MARCUS: FBI looking for an assist?
PARKER: Ain't theirs. First Texas ain't got branches outside the state. Not interstate commerce.
A flicker of fire ignites in Marcus's eyes. [Clue #3: The hunt stirs him.]
PARKER (cont'd): You may get to have some fun before they send you to the rocking chair yet.
Marcus's chair squeaks as he leans back.
MARCUS: ... I may have one hunt left in me." [Clue #4: He admits what he wants. This is the payoff from earlier.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: How do I know if the reader will catch on to the 2 +2 that I crafted? Simplest is best.
Here, the scene was crafted so that:
the letter (setup) + idiom in the dialogue (payoff) = He doesn't want to retire.
Hell or High Water (2016)
by Taylor Sheridan
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