[Quick Summary: Two brothers go on a spree robbing banks to save their family ranch, while two Texas Rangers track them down.]
What a beautifully written script! Spare, economical, and bristling with energy.
It suits the story, which is about two brothers who survive on their wits and nerves.
The script stays lean by often "showing, not telling" what the characters thought.
In the scene below, how do we know Marcus does not want to retire?
ex. "INT. TEXAS RANGER'S OFFICE -- ABILENE, TEXAS -- DAY
MARCUS HAMILTON, two weeks shy of 70, thick silver mustache, sits at his desk. A large Texas flag tacked to the wall behind him.
He looks over a LETTER from the DPS HEADQUARTERS in Austin. The heading says it all: Mandatory Retirement Referendum.
The letter is worn at the edges -- Marcus has spent a fair amount of time looking it over. [Clue #1: Well worn retirement letter = He's been studying it. This is the setup.]
Marcus packs a can of Copenhagen with fifty year's worth of skill, and sticks a pinch inside his lip.
A younger Ranger, and by younger I mean 50, walks in. His name is ALBERTO PARKER, and aside from his olive skin, he looks almost identical to Marcus: thick mustache, beer belly, gold star on a starched white shirt, bone colored Stetson hat.
PARKER: You hear about these bank robberies?
MARCUS: Why you always dress like me? [Clue #2: He prolongs things. Why?]
PARKER: This is our uniform.
MARCUS: We ain't got no uniform. You can wear any color shirt you choose. You just keep choosing mine.
PARKER: Texas Ranger regs say white, blue, or tan dress shirt. Stands to reason every so often we gonna end up dressed the same.
MARCUS: Well, they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery, Alberto. Did you know that?
Alberto is half Comanche and half Latino, though his twang is as pronounced as any cowboy.
PARKER: Wanna hear about these bank robberies or just sit there and let Alzheimer's run its course?
MARCUS: Where at?
PARKER: First Texas in Archer City and First Texas in Olney.
MARCUS: FBI looking for an assist?
PARKER: Ain't theirs. First Texas ain't got branches outside the state. Not interstate commerce.
A flicker of fire ignites in Marcus's eyes. [Clue #3: The hunt stirs him.]
PARKER (cont'd): You may get to have some fun before they send you to the rocking chair yet.
Marcus's chair squeaks as he leans back.
MARCUS: ... I may have one hunt left in me." [Clue #4: He admits what he wants. This is the payoff from earlier.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: How do I know if the reader will catch on to the 2 +2 that I crafted? Simplest is best.
Here, the scene was crafted so that:
the letter (setup) + idiom in the dialogue (payoff) = He doesn't want to retire.
Hell or High Water (2016)
by Taylor Sheridan