TODAY'S NUGGET: WarGames (1983) - Fleshing Out a Cardboard Character

[Quick Summary: A teen stumbles upon an interactive military computer, and they play "a game," but it is an early alert program that could lead to WWIII.]

I pondered cardboard characters after I read this in Roger Ebert's review:

Another one of the pleasures of the movie is the way it takes cardboard characters and fleshes them out.... in particular: the civilian chief of the US computer operation [McKittrick], played by Dabney Coleman as a man who has his own little weakness for simple logic...

Though much of the credit goes to casting actor Dabney Coleman, what did the writers do to help the "fleshing out" on the page?

Let's look at McKittrick's first appearance (scene below) where we are introduced to his "weakness for simple logic."

NOTE:
- The writers set up a room full of experts who are stymied.  The experts will voice all the possible explanations aloud of what happened.
- McKittrick is a man of action.  He hears the arguments, calls out orders, then goes to interrogate the boy himself.  This, by itself, could be a cardboard character.
- However, part of "fleshing out" is how a character reacts to others in the room, to a fork in the road.  Here, we see it in his 3rd line of dialogue when he makes a logical conclusion without proof.
- Notice that "fleshing out" is more about reacting to the situation and making decisions, not the amount of dialogue. Here, McKittrick only has a few lines. 

INT. BRIEFING ROOM

A harried Paul Richter stands at a blackboard filled with incomprehensible diagrams. Seated are Beringer and Doughterty, Cabot, and Watson, and GEORGE WIGAN, a stern man in civilian clothes. McKittrick enters as Richter winds up a point, takes a seat, exchanges glances with the General. 

RICHTER (O.S.): ...Mr. Cabot, it was a one-in-a-million shot -- there was an open line at our Space Division in Sunnyvale - the phone company screwed up.... [This is a logical argument.]

He trails off, relieved to see McKittrick.

CABOT: John, good to see you. John McKittrick, George Wigan. George is with the FBI. They've brought the boy here for questioning.

McKittrick exchanges nervous greetings with Wigan.

McKITTRICK: How'd it happen, Paul?

RICHTER: Well, he penetrated the war game subsystem using a password left in by the original programmer...no on even knew it was in there. [He summarizes the problem.]

WIGAN: The kid claims he was looking for a toy company.  [He lays forth a preposterous idea.]

The General snorts.

McKITTRICK: Paul, I want you to find that password and remove it. Put a tiger team on it -- and beef up security around the WOPR.  [This is an active decision. He is not passive.]

BERINGER: Beefed up? How 'bout screwed up? We're a little past that.

CABOT (viciously understated): There's some real concern about a break-down in security here, John.  [He voices what everyone is worried about, i.e., the stakes.]

McKITTRICK: Well, gentlemen, I think we're being a bit naive here...I mean, you don't really think some high school punk could just pick up the phone and do this on his own, do you? (to Cabot) The kid's working for somebody. He's gotta be.  [He makes a logical conclusion, and has made up his mind.  Unfortunately, it is not based on evidence since he hasn't met the boy yet.]

WIGAN (going through notes): Well, he does fit the profile perfectly. Intelligent but an underachiever...alienated form his parents..few friends....a classic case for recruitment by the Soviets. [He backs up McKittrick's POV with more simple logic.]

McKITTRICK: I think I'd better talk to the boy.  [To McKittrick's credit, he is going to see for himself.]

CABOT: Fine, John. We need some answers.

WATSON: What does this say about the state of our country? (to Wigan) Have you gotten any insight into why a bright boy like this would jeopardize the lives of millions? [He voices what they're all thinking, i.e., more stakes.]

WIGAN: No, sir. The little prick says he does this sort of thing for fun. 

                                                                           CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like how we see how McKittrick responds, his attitude, his decision making ability here.  He has a past and is not just crafted for this scene.

WarGames (1983)(9/7/82, revised final draft)
by Lawrence Lasker and Walter F. Parkes

TODAY'S NUGGET: Diamonds are Forever (1971) - Unusual Use of Props in Hand-to-Hand Combat Brings Delight

[Quick Summary: British super-spy 007 impersonates a diamond intermediary to investigate why a mysterious Mr. Whyte is hording the world's diamonds.]

I've heard a lot of Bond fans say they miss the hand-to-hand combat of older films. 

They have a point.  This example below is a stellar use of the props that Bond had at hand. Nothing electronic. No sudden solution to a problem (deus ex machina).

In the scene below:
- In a berth, two thugs (Wint and Kidd) have tied Tiffany to the bed and rigged a pot of boiling oil to the ceiling.
- Bond has climbed down a rope to look in through a porthole.
- Notice the unusual use of a soup toureen lid:  It seems like a weak move at first, but then, surprise! It shows Bond was thinking two steps ahead.

BACK TO SHIP SIDE

BOND has picked up momentum, now pushes off, sails through porthole feet first.

INT. CABIN

BOND sails in, makes a swipe at oil pot and rope, misses, lands in a pile at other side of bed.

CLOSE ON KIDD

He has seen - slams door shut just as MAID opens it, locks it, quickly grabs trembling rope.

KIDD: Careful, Mr. Bond!

CLOSE ON OIL POT

It teeters precariously back and forth.

WIDER ANGLE

BOND is stymied. All three are frozen for a minute - WINT advances slowly, carving knife in hand. BOND suddenly leaps for the top of the soup toureen, grabs it.

WINT; Pull, Mr. Kidd!

KIDD yanks on rope, oil pot turns over, BOND passes upside-down tureen lid over TIFFANY'S face, catches the oil, throws it into the advancing WINT - smoke rises from his face. He screams - BOND pushes him hard to one side, impaling him on sharp point of carved ice Cornucopia, killing him. KIDD has passed skewers through Sterno flame - they are now ablaze. He jumps BOND fro rear. BOND twists away, grabs brandy bottle, breaks neck of it on table, slings brandy at KIDD. Flames shoot up KIDD's arms - his whole body is on fire. BOND yanks blanket from bed, wraps it around KIDD, smothering flames. He picks up bundle, stuffs it through and out of porthole, turns, looks down at TIFFANY, still bound and gagged, tied to bed, legs spread apart.

BOND: A fine lot of help you turned out to be.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If you can find a way to disguise your protagonist's intent on how to use a prop in combat, go for it!

Diamonds are Forever (1971)(undated draft)
by Tom Mankiewicz
Adapted from the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Goldfinger (1964) - Give the Bad Guy a Memorable Entrance

[Quick Summary: After Goldfinger kills a traitor who has helped Bond, Bond hunts him down and discovers his nefarious plans for Fort Knox's gold.]

With no DVDs or VHS tapes in the 1960s, there were no repeat viewings of films unless you bought another ticket or caught them on tv.

Films were meant to be consumed in (and remembered from) one sitting. 

How you make the bad guy memorable? A clever entrance generally does the trick.

In the first 10 pgs. of this script, this one stood out to me. It makes the audience pay attention to the visuals:

INT. BONITA'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

...He walks to a hook on the wall removing his holster.

BONITA: Why do you always wear that thing?

BOND (hanging his holster on the hook): I have a slight inferiority complex. (he turns to her) Where was I? --Oh, yes.

TRACK IN SLIGHTLY as he embraces her.

ANGLE OVER THEM

As Bond kisses her, an assailant -- CAPUNGO -- approaches from behind a wardrobe in b.g., brandishing a cosh.

FAVORING BONITA

She opens her eyes and looks at him over Bond's shoulder.

CAPUNGO 

approaches raising a cosh.

FAVORING BOND

He leans back from Bonita looking into her eyes.

BOND'S POV - BONITA'S LEFT EYE

The pupil reflects Capungo approaching with the raised cosh.

MEDIUM SHOT

Bond suddenly swings Bonita around. Capungo smashes her on the head.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I did not remember this bad guy's name...but I did remember his entrance via pupil reflection.

Goldfinger (1964)(undated)
by Richard Maibaum & Paul Dehn
Based on the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Gone Girl (2014) - Keeping Characters on the Razor's Edge of Tension

[Quick Summary: When his wife, famed "Amazing Amy," goes missing, Nick is hounded by press, public, and police as a suspect in her disappearance.]

I was really impressed how this script was able to show the character's motive, conflict, and also keep the tension on a razor's edge (could go either way).

I've divided the scene below to demonstrate different elements: 

SECTION 1: At the "Find Amy HQ" in a hotel, Nick ducks out for some privacy.  Notice this is a setup for conflict and doubt in our minds.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

The hallway is VACANT. Nick's DISPOSABLE begins  buzzing. He ducks father down the hall. NICK is picking up just as: SHAWNA peers around the corner. Nick abruptly ends the call.

SHAWNA: Nick? I just wanted to introduce myself. My name's Shawna Kelly.

Nick nods: thanks. He's seething at the interruption. [He wants to answer this call but interrupted by a nosy stranger.]

SHAWNA (CONT'D): I'm so sorry for your...troubles.

NICK: That's very kind.

He gives her an after-you gesture but she doesn't budge. [Is he trying to be polite? Or something else?]

SHAWNA: Are you remembering to eat?

NICK: Lotta cold cuts.

Again: After you. [Nick tries again, fails.  This increases the conflict.]

SHAWNA: I'm going to fix you up my world-famous Chicken Frito Pie.

NICK: That's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

He tries again to get past her. He pats her on the arm as a goodbye, she puts her hand on top of his.

--------------------

SECTION 2: When this stranger isn't getting the response she wants, she ups the stakes.

SHAWNA: You have to keep up your strength.

She digs through her handbag, grabs a cell. Jams her face against his. [She's pushing into his comfort zone physically, like the world's attention is on him metaphorically.]

SHAWNA (CONT'D): Say: Chicken frito pie!

NICK - just wanting to leave - reflexively grins. CLICK. She shows him the photo: The two of them, cheek to cheek, Shawna's glossed lips pouty. Without context (and even with), the photo is wildly inappropriate, a little sleazy.  [His immediate regret: Is it real? Fake?]

NICK: Oh. You know what? That's-please delete that would you?

SHAWNA: It's a nice photo. [She stonewalls him.]

NICK: It's just not appropriate. Do me the favor, would you? SHAWNA debates.

NICK (CONT'D): I'm asking you nicely: Please delete the photo. [His politeness is pushed to the limits.  His motive to self-protect has layers to it.]

NICK tries to lean past her and hit delete. She holds the cell away from him-hey!-he tries to grab it.

SHAWNA: What is wrong with you?

NICK grabs her arm. It's the first time he seems dangerous. [This is the climax of the scene. What will he do?]

-------------------------------

SECTION 3: Now that he's lost the battle, what will he do?

NICK: You can't share that with anyone. [We understand his position.]

SHAWNA: I'll share it with anyone I like.  [We understand her position.]

SHAWNA scrambles past him, shoots down the hall to the elevator.

SHAWNA (CONT'D): Asshole.

NICK rests his head against the wall. Breathes.

NICK: Pull it together, Dunne.  [Interestingly, I empathized with his plight...and was still suspicious.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Because I BELIEVED it could go either way, the tension worked.  The key was that both characters' motives and conflicts were clear.

Gone Girl (2014)(shooting script, 8/29/13)
by Gillian Flynn
Adapted from her novel.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Risky Business (1983) - How a Line of Dialogue Set Up the Next Three Scenes (Unity of Theme)

[Quick Summary: After his parents leave for the weekend, chaos ensues in a high schooler's house.]

Roger Ebert wrote:

The very best thing about the movie is its dialogue. Paul Brickman, who wrote and directed, has an ear so good that he knows what to leave out. This is one of those movies where a few words or a single line says everything that needs to be said, implies everything that needs to be implied, and gets a laugh. When the hooker tells the kid, "Oh, Joel, go to school. Learn something," the precise inflection of those words defines their relationship for the next three scenes.

So what is their relationship for the next three scenes?  I think it's about how Joel sees it (adolescent sex) vs. how Lana sees it (business):*

SCENE 1 - Because Lana still has his mother's glass egg, Joel has no choice but to leave her at his house while he is at school. He is desperately unprepared for a pop quiz.

SCENE 2- Meanwhile, Lana checks out all the silverware, art, etc.  She takes his dad's Porsche for a drive.

SCENE 3 - Joel returns home to find Lana has invited her hooker friends to use the house for customers.  Here is the scene when he returns home and finds out:

EXT. JOEL'S HOUSE - AFTER SCHOOL - DAY

Joel stops his station wagon midway up the driveway. Miles is hanging out in the front yard. Joel goes to him.

MILES: Hi Joel.

JOEL: What's going on?

MILES: I'm waiting for Glenn?

JOEL: Where is he?

MILES: Inside.

JOEL: In the house?

MILES: He wanted to meet her.

JOEL (not pleased): What is this?

Joel goes toward the house. Glenn exits. He sports a wide grin.

JOEL: What're you doing?

GLENN: I was inside.

JOEL: I can see that.

GLENN (vamping awkwardly): So... you're home now...

Something is definitely up.

JOEL: Yeah, I live here, remember?

Joel turns to look at Miles. Conveniently, Miles is facing the street, his back turned to them.

JOEL: Is Lana still here?

GLENN: She's inside.

JOEL: Tell me you didn't do anything with her --

GLENN: Who? Lana?

JOEL: Yeah.

GLENN: No. Nothing. I just met her. She's nice.

JOEL: You're sure. You didn't do anything with her.

GLENN: Yeah. I swear.

Joel looks back at Miles. He's holding back a chuckle.

JOEL: You fucked her, didn't you?

GLENN: No.  I told you.

JOEL: Yes. You did.

GLENN (indignantly): I did not fuck her, Joel.

JOEL (after a beat): Okay.

GLENN: Ask me about Vicki.

JOEL: Who's Vicki?

A VOICE from the front door. It comes from a tall blonde on a rather large frame. VICKI'S about eight hard years older than Lana.

VICKI: Are you Joel?

Glenn punches Joel's arm gratefully.

GLENN: Owe you one.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was impressed how the dialogue ("go to school, learn something") nailed the theme, which was then played out in the next three scenes.

Risky Business (1983)(3rd draft, 11/30/81)
by Paul Brickman

*Ebert is not often "astounded," so I thought I'd include his thoughts:

"The next best thing about the movie is the casting. Rebecca De Mornay somehow manages to take that thankless role, the hooker with a heart of gold, and turn it into a very specific character. She isn't all good and she isn't all cliches: She's a very complicated young woman with quirks and insecurities and a wayward ability to love I became quietly astounded when I realized that this movie was going to create an original, interesting relationship involving a teenager and a hooker. The teenage kid, in what will be called the Dustin Hoffman role, is played by Tom Cruise, who also knows how to imply a whole world by what he won't say, can't fell, and doesn't understand."

TODAY'S NUGGET: From Russia with Love (1963) - One Way to Intercut Locations While Spouting Exposition

[Quick Summary: Bond goes into Istanbul to retrieve a Russian defector and decoder machine.]

I find it difficult to maintain a story's rhythm and flow while intercutting between locations.  I also loathe exposition dumps.

So I was quite impressed when I read the scene below, which does BOTH SIMULTANEOUSLY.  It is a marvel of craft and hard work. 

NOTE:
- Watch closely as the scene moves from Istanbul ferry boat --> M's office --> Moneypenny's office --> Istanbul office. 
- Notice how the taped conversation is the common thread between scenes.
- Also note how well this scene suits cinema in particular.  The flow of dialogue + different locations = The audience sees the information is being transmitted to M without being told so.

ON THE FERRY BOAT

...Bond glances around then lowers the front flap of the camera case, revealing a tape recorder.

BOND: Talk into this. Answer my questions quietly but clearly. How long is the machine?

TANIA: Like...like a typewriter....

                                                                                         DISSOLVE TO:

A LARGE TAPE RECORDER

The reels are spinning. PULL BACK to reveal:

INT. 'M'S' OFFICE - DAY

The tape recorder is on "M's' desk and he sits listening. Moneypenny sits beside him taking notes. Across the desk sit a NAVAL OFFICER, an ARMY OFFICER and FOUR OTHER SUPERNUMERARIES. 'M' lights and puffs his pipe.

Bond and Tania's voices come through the speakers:

TANIA'S VOICE: There are twenty-four symbols, sixteen code keys. It is inserted in a slot. And the message comes out on a paper roll from another slot on the other side And the mechanism is...oh, James...James...will you make love to me all the time in England?

BOND'S VOICE: Day and night. Go on about the mechanism....

'M' shuts off the machine.

'M': Thank you, Miss Moneypenny. That's all, that's all.

She gets up and exits past the men. We hear a door close, then 'M' re-starts the tape recorder.

BOND'S VOICE: Later, later.

IN MISS MONEYPENNY'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

Miss Moneypenny flips on her intercom and sits down at her desk. She hears the tape playing in the other room.

...BOND'S VOICE: Go on with what you were telling me...No, not that! The mechanism!

'M's' VOICE (over intercom): Miss Moneypenny, as you're no doubt listening, perhaps you'd take this cable. Text reads...merchandise appears genuine...

                                                                                      DISSOLVE TO:

INT. KERIM'S OFFICE - DAY

Bond sits across from Kerim's desk reading the telegram aloud

BOND (overlapping 'M'): '..merchandise appears genuine. Stop. Go ahead with deal. Signed "M".'

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the use of the taped conversation as a common thread to "show, not tell" exposition while intercutting to locations.

From Russia with Love (1963)(undated)
by Richard Maibaum
Adapted by Johanna Harwood
Based on the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Dr. No (1962) - "The pictures are so much funnier than my books."

[Quick Summary: After henchmen kill and steal at MI-6's Jamaican HQ, MI-6 sends 007 to investigate a plan to interfere with American missiles.]

I was interested what Richard Maibaum said in an interview:

I met Ian Fleming several times while he was still alive, but I did not speak to him about screenwriting. He didn't seem very interested. He didn't have script approval, but as a matter of courtesy we gave him the scripts to read. He would make minimal notes in the margin, in very tiny handwriting, that usually dealt with questions of protocol - what Bond called M in the office as opposed to what he called him at their club, things like that.

He did say to me once, "The pictures are so much funnier than my books." He was a little bemused and a little obtuse about it, I thought, because he really didn't understand that we were trying to make them funnier. That was the thing we changed most about the books as far as the pictures were concerned. We made Bond more humorous, throwing away those one-liners that are now obligatory in Bond films. [my emphasis]

A good example is the first introduction below to Bond in this first film:
- The introduction to Bond starts with ..."a MAN holding the back has his back to the CAMERA" and we do not see his face until the moment below.
-  The writers took time to set up the spy world, so Bond doesn't appear until p. 10.
- Note this scene is amusing, but the writers also hid some character work in it (Bond is observant, chivalrous, polite, flirty).
- Also, note the dialogue's humor comes mostly from the subtext underneath.

INT. GAMING ROOM. TOP STAKES TABLE. MED. SHOT. NIGHT

... SYLVIA (glancing across at him enigmatically): Suivi....

BOND looks at her, frankly surprised this time.  His eyes drop to her small pile of chips.

SYLVIA: The house will cover the difference.

BOND glances at the CROUPIER, who nods almost imperceptibly. Again BOND (whom we have still not seen front-view) deals.

SYLVIA: Carte.

BOND gives her another card. It is five. BOND's cards are turned. he has two kings. He takes another. It is a seven. The CROUPIER rakes the chips over to him again. 

BOND deliberately breaks the tension by taking out his cigarette case and offering it to SYLVIA.  [This deliberate, subtle move puts Bond back in charge. Good character stuff.]

BOND: I admire your courage, Miss....?

SYLVIA (taking a cigarette): Trench....Sylvia Trench...

He lights her cigarette.

SYLVIA: And I admire your luck, Mr....?

BOND (as he brings the lighter up to his own cigarette, and for the first time we see his face): Bond....James Bond.

Their eyes meet, appraisingly. Then a man comes up behind BOND bends down to whisper something. BOND listens attentively, nods, rises.

BOND (to croupier): Afraid I'll have to pass the shoe. Andree. (to SYLVIA) Forgive me...an urgent matter.

He gets up - she gets up and joins him.

SYLVIA: Too bad. Just as it was getting interesting. [She flirts first, testing the waters.]

BOND (amused by her obvious pass): Do you play anything else but Chemin de Fer? [He picks up the gauntlet.]

SYLVIA: Golf occasionally.

BOND: How about a game tomorrow. (slight pause) and dinner afterwards? [He's not just talking about a game and dinner. Good subtext.]

SYLVIA: Its tempting. May I let you know in the morning? [Playing hard to get.]

BOND (taking a card from his pocket and handing it to her): Fine....Here's my card....give me a call... [He makes a move, but gives her a choice.]

He smiles, moves away. SYLVIA watches him go thoughtfully. 

SYLVIA (to herself): Maybe I will.... [She's impressed.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  A lot of the humor is in the witty dialogue but also in the subtext. 

Dr. No (1962)(5th draft, 8/1/62)
by Richard Maibaum, Wolf Mankowitz, and J.M. Harwood
From the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Blow-Up (1966) - Use the Search/Process to Flip Expectations

[Quick Summary: A photographer follows a couple in the park, and unwittingly may have photographed a murder.]

In its day, audiences buzzed about this film because of the nudity, and orgy scene.*

However, it remains a significant film because it broke new ground in how to tell a story, and influenced many other filmmakers later.**

I went into this script cold and was not surprised that not all the loose ends get tied up by the ending.  However, I did learn two things:

1) Antonioni is not interested in plot, but rather "the perceptive nature of reality and the often baffling relationship of truth and perception." 

In fact, Antonioni himself stated: 

The search for reality in a photographed image provides the central plot for Blow-up.

2) Use the search/process, not the answer, to flip expectations.   

Many scripts about getting to the answer.  This one is about the search/process.

It is heavy with photos + people, and exploring how the two interact.  Is reality in the photos? Outside the photos? What is truth? Or was it my perception?

The writers use that dynamic to flip our expectations.

For example, in the scene below:
- Thomas (photographer) has just caught Girl trying to steal his camera from his studio.
- He'd taken photos of her and her older lover earlier in the park.
- She has just asked what he wants for the photos, and taken her top off.
- Note the moment she flips [brackets below] from chasing the photos (her past) to disregarding them for the present. Is reality in those images or in this studio?
- Note how he reacts to her interest in him>> the photos.  Is it truth or only his perception?

Resume on the Girl. She puts her blouse down and stands waiting. They look at each other, suddenly serious and tense. Camera moves with Thomas as he goes up to her, ducking under the plume rack, and places his hands on her shoulders.
He looks at her silently.
Reverse angle shot of them looking at one another. He moves away and she turns to look at him.

THOMAS: Get dressed. I'll cut out the negatives you want.

He goes off down the gangway leading to the darkrooms. He opens the purple door of the first one.
Inside the darkroom the door slides open, revealing Thomas in close-up. Camera follows him as he goes to the table and takes the reel from the camera. He toys with it, as if still undecided whether to give it to her or not. Then he puts it out of sight and picks up another roll of film, and turns back to the door.
He comes back into the studio and looks round, toying with the film still in hand.  At first glance it seems the Girl has disappeared. The music is now cool, quiet jazz.
The Girl's legs are visible but the rest of her body is obscured by the lilac back-drop.  He pulls it from the wall and looks behind it. She is standing still, half-naked, with her arms folded across her breasts. Thomas comes toward her behind the purple paper, holding it back, then letting it fall, obscuring them both from view.
Thomas comes up to the Girl and tosses her the roll of film.
She takes it and moves away, camera following her. But after one or two steps she stops and turns back. She looks at Thomas almost tenderly. Then gives him a kiss. A fleeting kiss. And again moves away. [Flip moment: She's gotten what she came for. Why doesn't she flee?]
This time it is his turn to follow her. She stands in close-up against the purple screen, and he takes her in his arms, holds her tight and kisses her. This, too, is brief.
Then, with an arm round her shoulders, he leads her gently towards the bedroom. As they pass, camera tracks in rapidly to the Girl's blouse as she tosses the reel of film onto it.
They reach the doorway to the bedroom. She wraps her arms round his neck...when the doorbell rings. They both pause.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Since this script is not driven by a formula or "find X," I found these flip moments much more interesting.

Blow-Up (1966)
by Michelangelo Antonioni and Tonino Guerra; English dialogue in collaboration with Edward Bond
Inspired by a short story by Julio Cortazar

*Interestingly, Roger Ebert notes that today's audiences might consider them tame, and would likely be more offended by the photographer's contempt of his models. 

***Including Coppola's The Conversation (1974) and de Palma's Blow Out (1981).

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Dead (1987) - Using Close Ups to Convey the "Unfilmable"

[Quick Summary: During at dinner party at his aunts' home in 1904, Gabriel begins to see himself, his wife, not in roles, but as human beings.]

Q: What is an "unfilmable" novella?
A: It most often means a story with a lot of internal action, i.e., inside the character's head.  Alas, this is not good for film, which depends on external action.

Q: This script is an adaptation of James Joyce's "unfilmable" novella.  How did the writers tackle an "unfilmable" scene?
A: One tool they used was a close up which should be used sparingly, because it emphasizes something the director wants pointed out.

In this script, the close up is used to show what the character is thinking.

In two examples below (a) at the piano; b) with photograph):
- Notice the complex thoughts each one is trying to convey:  In a), Gabriel pities Aunt Julia.  In b) Gabriel remembers his mother.
- Notice the reason for the close ups: We're going into Gabriel's internal thoughts, which is a very intimate space.  A wide shot would keep us distant from him.

CLOSE ON GABRIEL

As he is struck with bitter intensity by the irony of her choice. Here is his Aunt, a withered old maid, giving expression to emotions and experiences which, in real life, have alluded her.

CLOSE ON AUNT JULIA

The CAMERA taking in the signs of old age - the grey hair, the wrinkled hands, the flaccid folds at cheek, neck and elbow, the crow's feet at the corners of the eyes, etc.

AUNT JULIA (cont'd)(singing): Who would not love her?

CLOSE ON GABRIEL

Hardly able to bear it.

CLOSE ON GABRIEL

As his gaze drifts from Aunt Julia to the inanimate objects around the room.

....

The final photograph is one of Gabriel himself in a man-o-war suit as he leans on his mother's knee reading a book in her lap.

CLOSE ON GABRIEL

Indicating that he and the boy are one and the same person and that this woman was his mother.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  A close up can convey unfilmable complex thoughts.  

However, it should be used judiciously because we lose objectivity if we're constantly in that close.

The Dead (1987)(undated)
by Tony Huston & John Huston
Based on the novella, "The Dead," from "Dubliners," by James Joyce

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mary Rose (unproduced Hitchcock) - Building Blocks of Creating & Layering Dread in Psychological Horror

[Quick Summary: Mary Rose has no memory of disappearing from an Island, then reappearing after 20 days.  As an adult, she re-visits and disappears for 18 yrs.]

After a run of 3 other psychological horrors,* I'm not sure why Hitchcock couldn't get this script green lit.**  It is very much in his wheelhouse of suspense.

This script is a great example of one keys to psychological horror: creeping dread.  

What are the building blocks of dread?  Often unease and uncertainty.

Let's look at a great example in the scene below:
- Kenneth (40), Mary Rose's son, returns to his childhood home, which is for sale.
- He's been away for 20+ yrs. and walks through the unlocked front door.
- Notice what the writer uses to build dread: the physical description of the wallpaper; the gloom in 'sacking,' 'peeling,' old woman, etc.
- Notice what the writer uses to layer dread: uneasiness of chair facing away from us; sound, shadow,  old woman is holding her breath, etc.
- I've underlined below the phrases that kept me uneasy or uncertain.

Slowly, he begins to mount the stairs. At the top, he discovers a door, open upon a dark and deeply silent room. Quietly, he enters. All of this room's past, which can be taken away, has gone.  Such light as there is...no more than enough to make shadows...comes from the only window, which is at the back and incompletely shrouded in sacking. Also toward the back of the room is another door.  It is closed. As his eyes adjust to the dark, they circle the room, taking in the peeling wallpaper, the desolated, deserted sadness of it all, until finally his eyes come to rest upon the only furnishings in the room...if two up-ended packing cases and a chair may be called furnishings.

On top of one of the cases is an unlighted candle in a holder, and beside it is a chair, the back of which is turned toward the man. These objects seem only to add to the impression of empty desertion. And then, in the dark, the man becomes slowly conscious of the faintest, almost indiscernible movement. It is in the chair. He freezes. There is a moment of utterly suspended animation. Then he speaks, his voice hardly a whisper.

KENNETH: Who's there?

THE CAMERA closes in tight on the chair, as from its depth the movement takes shape and turns to face the man. In the chair is a woman, old, gaunt, narrowed-eyed...as her old gimlet eyes observe the obviously corporeal nature of the intruder, does she let out her breath. Hostilely, she regards him.

MRS. OTERY: What do you think you're up to here now! This here's private property!

KENNETH (relaxes, almost smiles): And you must be the caretaker.  Your name is....?

MRS. OTERY (compelled against herself to answer his gentle, but utterly assured command): Mrs. Otery. (trying to regain her authority) Mrs. Harry Otery, that's who. And I'm in charge of this house. It's my job to show it to prospective purchasers with appointments.

KENNETH: Really? From the looks of things, I shouldn't think you'd find yourself very busy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Creeping dread is built on an increasing rise and fall of unease and uncertainty.

Mary Rose (unproduced Hitchcock)(2nd draft, 2/15/64)
by Jay Presson Allen
Adapted from the play by J.M. Barrie

*Psycho (1960), The Birds (1963), Marnie (1964).

**Ostensibly, Hitchcock said: "They believe it isn't what the audiences expect of me. Not the kind of picture they expect of me."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Gloria (1980) - The Flow in the Space Between Actors (Subtext)

[Quick Summary: After a neighbor is murdered in a mob hit, Gloria traipses around NYC trying to keep the neighbor's 8 y.o. son safe.]

I always thought John Cassavetes' scripts were well written and emotional, but not particularly illuminating for me.  

That is, until this one, which truly is "written to be acted, not read." 

On the page, there's not a lot of action.  However, in the space BETWEEN the actors,  the energy flows back and forth like a constantly revolving hourglass.

In the scene below:
- This aha! moment takes us from the end of act two into act three. 
- Gloria has housed, fed, defended this kid against the mob for about 48 hrs.
- The kid and she have bonded a little, but she's ill-equipped to be a parent. He just wants the world to be ok again, to go home to a family that does not exist.
- Notice how this conflict and distrust flows back and forth in subtext.

EXT. BROADWAY & 157TH ST. DAY. (EARLY A.M.)

A CAR comes SCREECHING down the street. GLORIA freezes. She can't move. PHIL looks up at her. 

PHIL: What's the matter?

GLORIA: Nothing.

PHIL: Tell me what it is. You got a pain? Was it the car? Did it scare you? [He's grown up a little & thinks about her.]

GLORIA looks up at PHIL.

GLORIA: I'm not doing the right thing. I should be sending you to a Boarding School. [Her a-ha! moment.]

PHIL: You mean an orphanage. [He's skeptical she cares.]

GLORIA: I mean, a Boarding School, you stupid, little twerp. [Not particularly patient.]

PHIL: Wrong. I'm with you. They're looking for both of us, remember? If they kill you, they kill me, right? Gloria, let me be honest with you. I'm crazy about you. Do I have a chance?  [He's asking for reassurance that she can't give.]

GLORIA: No.

PHIL: Okay. Anyway, you're not Spanish like me. You're not my mother. You're not my father. You're not anybody to me. You're not enough for me. Okay, Gloria? [He's acting older than his years.]

GLORIA doesn't answer.

PHIL (continues): So, I'm going to go find family and some new friends and a girlfriend, too. You're a nice girl, Gloria, but you're not for me.  [He will solve his own problems, naively.]

GLORIA: Okay, fine. [She does not know what to feel or do.]

PHIL (points at her eyes): You have no soul.   [He thinks he's got it under control.]

GLORIA: Okay, fine.  [She knows he does not, but does not want to argue.]

PHIL: You have nothing. But, you're very nice. [He rejects her, thinking he's wise.]

GLORIA: Okay. I'm going to be (turns, looks) at that bar across the street. I'm going to have a drink. If you want to join me, you can. If you want to run away, that's your problem. [She lets him make his own decisions, even if wrong...and he will.]

PHIL (waves): No. I've done my best to like you. I'm sorry. Goodbye Chiquita. Goodbye sucker.

GLORIA turns without regarding him again, crosses the street and enters a Bar.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Subtext adds a different energy in the flow and space between actors. 

Gloria, aka One Summer Night (1980)(5th draft, 7/3/79)
by John Cassavetes 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) - To Show (And Not Tell) That He's a Kept Man

[Quick Summary: Flirty Holly Golightly meets a new neighbor Paul, a poor writer, but financial security gets in the way of their romance.]

Holly Golightly (19 y.o.) is after one thing: to snare a rich husband.  Because she's been on her own since 14 y.o., she's both quite innocent and quite mercenary.

Paul, on the other hand, is 28 y.o., not as innocent, not quite as mercenary.  He has snared the interest of 2E, a rich, bored housewife, who sets him up in an apartment.

I was intrigued how the writer showed us (and did not tell us) he's a kept man:

INT. PAUL'S APARTMENT

...She picks up his typewriter, puts it on the desk and takes off its lid. She takes a sheet of paper and puts it in the machine. [2E is in charge even of his equipment]

2E: Voila!

PAUL: If a man is going to starve in a garret and write the great American novel, this is sure the way to do it...

2E (Her tone changes): Now listen, darling, we're just not going to have any of that at all...The whole thing is very simple. You're a writer...I think you can be a great one...Why shouldn't I help you? I have a husband who invests in oil wells...I have friends who invest in...I don't know...the stock market or real estate. So why shouldn't I be allowed to invest what I believe in? [She defends her decision, which cleverly hides exposition]

PAUL: Which is?

2E: Talent, darling. Talent. You have talent and I'm going to see that you don't waste it or spoil it or fritter it away. I couldn't bear the idea of you, prostituting yourself...sitting in a little cage in Hollywood...writing movies that would make us both cringe when we saw them later...Let me be your Hollywood, Paul...your own personal, tender, loving Hollywood... [2E flatters him]

PAUL: And what do you get out of it?

2E: Satisfaction, darling. Just satisfaction. And maybe the feeling of pride, when the book is finally done, of seeing the dedication page that says: "For 2E, Without Whom...' [She brings the flattery back around to herself]

During this, she has very gently begun to unbutton his shirt. [Now she touches him]

PAUL: And that's all?

2E: Well, almost...

She draws him to her and kisses him. When they break she very gently pushes him away from her and toward the bed. [She is still in charge, increases the intimacy]

CLOSE SHORT - 2E (PAUL'S ANGLE) - (DAY)

2E: It's not so bad, is it? Really?

PAUL: I suppose it could be a lot tougher...

2E (Softly): You bet it could be, darling. You just bet it could be... Paul...

PAUL (O.S.): Yes?

2E: I wish we had a picture of you...just the way you are right now...If we put it on the book jacket, we'd sell a million copies...

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Paul is "kept" because 2E is making the major decisions... but they align with his desire for financial security, so he allows them. 

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)(undated)
by George Axelrod
Based on the novel by Truman Capote

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Seven Year Itch (1955) - Using a Dream Bubble to Refute an Argument + Show Wish Fulfillment

[Quick Summary: After his family goes away for the summer, a book publisher with an overactive imagination is left in NYC with a new gorgeous neighbor upstairs.]

Billy Wilder scripts are exceptional - unexpectedly layered and multi-tasking. 

For example here, Richard's wife and son have just left for the summer.  He meets his pretty new neighbor upstairs who is subletting.

On his first night alone, he has an imaginary conversation with his wife about what a loyal husband he is.   In fact, he's had to chase women off.

When his imaginary wife scoffs at this, he uses his overactive imagination to conjure up a series of "dream bubble" scenarios to prove his point.

Notice how this scene below refutes the imaginary wife's argument that he's not super-desirable AND shows what Richard wishes would happen:

DREAM BUBBLE (1) - RICHARD'S OFFICE - DAY

Richard stands at the desk in his shirt sleeves, reading a letter. Miss Morris enters.

RICHARD (barely looking up): Miss Morris, did you type this letter?

MISS MORRIS (tensely): Yes, Mr. Sherman.

RICHARD: There are six typographical errors in the first paragraph alone. What is the matter iwth you, Miss Morris? (pause) Come now, Miss Morris. What is the matter with you?

MISS MORRIS: I'll tell you what's the matter with me. I'm in love with you. That's what's the matter with me. I have been - since the first day I came here. Deeply...madly...desperately...all consumingly! And you - you've never even noticed me! To you I'm just nothing...a piece of office furniture...a dictaphone...ten fingers to type your miserable letters...

Suddenly, she tears off her glasses, rips the comb out of her hair so that it comes tumbling wildly down over her shoulders.

MISS MORRIS (out of control): Look at me, Mr. Sherman. I'm a woman! A woman, do you hear me? With flesh and blood and nerves and feelings! I love you, I need you, I want you, want you, want you, want you!

She grabs him around the shoulders and kisses him violently. There is the sound of cloth being torn. he stands there, quite cool about the whole thing. Finally when her passion is spent - 

RICHARD (unruffled): That will be all, Miss Morris.

He hands her back the letter. She runs out of the room, sobbing hysterically. He looks after her, slowly turning his back to the camera. The back of his shirt is torn. He flexes the muscles of his back. For a moment he is Marlon Brando in STREEETCAR.

The camera has started moving in again. The Dream Bubble bursts and we are back on -

RICHARD - ON THE TERRACE - EVENING

He is lying on the chaise, grinning in delight over his little fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was quite amazed how much of this script was dream bubbles and Richard's fantasy life.  It could've easily been a cliche, but was not.

The Seven Year Itch (1955)(final draft, 8/10/54)
by George Axelrod and Billy Wilder
Based on the play by George Axelrod

TODAY'S NUGGET: A Fish Called Wanda (1988) - The Enemies of Suspense

[Quick Summary: Four thieves steal diamonds, then double and triple cross each other (as well as a barrister) to get to the loot.]

Q: What is one of the biggest keys to a suspense story?
A: What is happening NOW is apt to be less dramatically interesting than what may or may not HAPPEN NEXT.

Q: So this means plot is more important than character?
A: I think the plot comes from characters. (Or characters drive the plot.)

Q: I always hear that it "starts with character." What does that MEAN?
A: To me, interesting characters cause conflict.  Their actions - unpredictable, outrageous, rebellious, stubborn - clash with someone else's, thus driving the plot.

Q: So that's where suspense can come from? 
A: We can't wait to see how the conflict resolves. What comes next? 

In the example below, notice:
- Each character has a conflict with themselves and/or each other.
- The conflicts are visible, i.e., able to be seen on screen.
- Pay particular attention to Otto, the newest member, who disturbs the status quo the most.  Notice we can't stop wondering what he'll do next.*

Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day.

Ken is still feeding the fish. The door opens and the human Wanda enters. She has exchanged the smooth outfit of the opening sequences for the garb of a gangster's moll: imitation ocelot jacket and leather mini skirt. She is followed by Otto, dressed in black. [I am already interested. Why has Wanda changed clothes to MORE of gangster's moll?]

WANDA. Hi, Ken.

KEN. Hallo, Wwwanda.

WANDA. Ken, this is Otto.

OTTO. Hallo, Ken, Wanda's told me a lot about you. Hey! Great fish.

KEN. Oh, th-th-thank...

OTTO. A little squeeze of lemon, some tartare sauce, perfect...  [Within two lines of dialogue, Otto has clashed with Ken, an animal lover.]

Wanda raps Otto. Otto squeezes her boob. Ken turns. [Only the audience knows that Wanda and Otto have a secret relationship.]

WANDA. George back yet?

She makes for the kitchen.

KEN. Nnnno. He had to ggggo tttto the bbbb...

Otto stares at Ken, astonished. Ken looks at him. 

Wwwwha...

OTTO. That's er, quite a stutter you've got there, Ken. [Again, Otto is being rude to Ken.]

Ken is dumbstruck. Otto smiles at him.

It's all right, it doesn't bother me. So...George needs a weapons man, eh?

Ken looks sharply at Otto. Wanda calls from the kitchen. [Otto has broken the rule about talking too frankly about a potential scam.]

WANDA. Cup of tea, Ken?

KEN. Yyyy...

OTTO. Yeah, he'd like one. I'd a good friend in the CIA had a stutter. Cost him his life, dammit. [Otto is not making a friend of Ken.]

The front door opens and George enters. Wanda runs to him from the kitchen.

WANDA. Hi, George.

She embraces him and he returns the affection with a squeeze of her bottom. Ken is hot on her heels. [Will George find out about Wanda and Otto?!]

KEN. Hallo, George. Get you a Scotch?

GEORGE. Yeah.

Ken scampers off. George eyes Otto.

WANDA. George, this is Otto.

GEORGE. ... So...you're Wanda's brother.  [I wonder if George is suspicious?]

OTTO. Good to be here, George. England is a fine country. 

GEORGE. She tell you what we need?

Otto makes a rapid movement, causing a knife to appear in his hand, and then throws the knife so that it sticks perfectly between the eyes of an animal on one of Ken's posters in the alcove. Ken stares, horrified. [No one expected this!]

OTTO. Something like that? [Otto challenges George.]

GEORGE. Something like that.  [George realizes Otto is unreliable.]

Cut to:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The chief enemies of suspense?  I'd volunteer predictability and lack of conflict.

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
by John Cleese
Story by John Cleese and Charles Crichton

*FYI: Actor Kevin Kline won an Oscar for this role.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979) - Making the Daffy Disaster of Whizzing Bullets Count for Character

[Quick Summary: Two farmhands, who want to be the infamous Apple Dumpling Gang, bumble their way into another gang's bank heist, payroll robbery.]

I've always thought the scripts of Don Tait really showcased the physical comedy of actors Don Knotts and Tim Conway. 

But it was not just choosing unusual locations or situations, but how Tait used them to show more of Knotts and Conway's characters.

For example, in this script, Tait used props (whizzing bullets) to emphasize how these guys are clueless and do not think about the consequences of their actions.

Also notice the writing is so economical (summarized in brackets below):

INT. BANK

as Woolly Bill charges IN, Buntline Specials drawn, he comes face to face with Amos and Theodore!

WOOLLY BILL: All right -- hold it right there! Turn around! Now remove your guns easy and drop them.

Amos and Theodore are too frightened to speak, but they obey Woolly Bill's orders. Cautiously, they turn around, reach for their antiquated firearms, and drop them to the marble floor.

INSERT

Both guns DISCHARGE when they hit the floor. [Unthinking actions]

CLOSE - WOOLLY BILL

as one gun is shot from his hand. [Unintended reaction, which makes it funny]

SERIES OF FAST CUTS

as the bullet from Amos' gun SPANGS OFF various metal objects about the bank: a teller's cage bar, a spittoon, a chandelier, a corner of the vault, etc. This all is done to the SOUND OF RICOCHETING BULLETS. [This is a paragraph of actions.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

TO FAVOR Woolly Bill as his eyes try to follow the trajectory of the ricocheting bullet. Suddenly the other Buntline Special is knocked from his hands and Woolly Bill bends over, clutching both hands in pain. [This is Bill's reaction.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

as Theodore glances back over his shoulder and is surprised to find Woolly Bill a victim of their gunfire. Both his white-handled guns are on the floor at his feet. [More reactions]

THEODORE: Maybe we better go.

He grabs up their guns and shoves Amos' revolver at him. He has to shake Amos out of his posture of cringing terror.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene is funny because the bullets hitting Bill is unexpected.

However, it's funnier because it's about the characters' cluelessness.

The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979)(shooting draft, 3/28/78 w/revisions)
by Don Tait

TODAY'S NUGGET: Shaggy D.A. (1976) - How to Effectively Use an Animal Actor

[Quick Summary: An attorney runs for District Attorney against the incumbent, but is threatened by a magical ring from his past that turns a human into a dog.]

When the world is tough, all I want to do is follow a dog planting a recording device.

I thought the writer did a great job of understanding: 1) how to set up the story; 2) the limits of what an animal actor could do; and 3) combining 1) and 2) well. 

In the scene below, the story is that "Wilby" is the attorney in his dog form. In the film, it is played by a real trained canine actor.

Notice the skills that the dog can be trained to do: Carry a tape recorder. Open a door. Look toward Roschak. Lay recorder on a chair. Press a button.

Notice also how the writer allows the audience to give meaning of these actions.

INT. WAREHOUSE

...ANOTHER ANGLE 

holding the tape recorder in his mouth, "Wilby" starts across an open stretch toward the stairs

ANOTHER ANGLE "WILBY" 

Tiptoeing up the stairs, toward Roschak's office, carrying the tape recorder in his mouth.

EXT. AREA - SLADE'S CAR

approaching the warehouse.

RESUME "WILBY"

as he opens the door to Roschak's office and enters. This is actually an outer (or secretary's office). But through a second door, leading into Roschak's office, we SEE the crime boss counting money into piles, putting the bills into envelopes.

CLOSE "WILBY"

He looks toward Roschak, then carefully lays the tape recorder on a chair behind the desk. Now comes the anxious moment. Can he push the right button without starting the Marine Band again? "Wilby" reaches a huge paw out ever so carefully and presses a button.

EXTREME CLOSE UP - TAPE RECORDER

as the tape starts moving -- recording. "Wilby" sighs, then again glances toward Roschak and starts to exit the office.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Training an animal is not the hard part.  It is giving MEANING to those actions, which is the writer's job.

One of the reasons this scene lands is because of the set up in previous scenes, ex. "Wilby" hit the wrong button on the tape recorder.  Will he hit the right one now?

Shaggy D.A. (1976)(shooting script 1/7/76)
by Don Tait

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Prize Fighter (1979) - Showing How a Fight is Fixed (Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: Mobster Mike lures Bags, an awful boxer, and Shake, his corner guy, into training at Pop's gym, in hopes of getting his hands on the gym.]

Let me say it from the start: Not everyone can (or likes to) write comedy. But why?

Director Alexander MacKendrick put it very elegantly:

‘Comedy is hard’ (last words of Edmund Kean). Comedy plays best in the mastershot. Comic structure is simply dramatic structure but MORE SO: neater, shorter, faster. Don’t attempt comedy until you are really expert in structuring dramatic material.MacKendrick says it very elegantly above, but I'd never understood what he meant until I had to write one myself. (emphasis mine)

I still didn't understand what he meant until I took a stab myself.  I discovered what one can only discover by doing it: There is an unforgiving rhythm to comedy.*

The truth of "neater, shorter, faster" can be seen in today's script, one of two, which comedian/writer Tim Conway wrote for himself and friend Don Knotts.

In this story, Bags (Conway) and Shake (Knotts) are being set up for a fall.

In the scene below:
-Notice how neat, short, fast the sentences read. Great economy of writing.
-Notice how it keeps our eye moving around the room (setup).
-I underlined the payoff.  Why is it funny? He wins with eyes closed, which the audience knows is impossible and unexpected...unless it's fixed.

INT. CARNIVAL TENT RING - NIGHT

...MIKE

takes a real interest in what's happening with the ring work Bags has come up with. The Champ actually takes a few pokes at Bags but can't seem to catch up to him. Mike leans forward. He likes what he sees. He whispers to Flower. Flower signals the SECOND in the Champ's corner. The Second gets the message.

SECOND (to Champ): Hey, Mule...

He motions to him with a thumbs down signal. The Champ questions it by looking to Mike. Mike nods his head in agreement. The Champ shrugs his shoulders and moves to Bags. He beings to corner Bags so he has no choice but to hit the Champ. He does so with his eyes closed. The Champ goes down. The crowd yells for him.  Bags opens his eyes. He sees the Champ down and out. He bends over to help him.

BAGS: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, honest.

The Champ looks at him with one eye like, what the hell is the matter with you.

Shake is wide-eyed. He can't believe it. Jimmy goes to Bags and holds his hand high.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In a drama, you have a lot more leeway with time. The rhythm can ebb and flow at leisure, like waves on a beach.  

In a comedy, you have little leeway.  The rhythm is much more structured, insistent, demanding, like a military march.

The Prize Fighter (1979)
by Tim Conway and John Myhers
Story by Tim Conway

*Writers, please DO NOT take my word for it. Please try it out for yourself and see if comedy fits you or not.  Scientific method the heck out of it.

This a-ha! moment is brought to you by Years of My Own Pain.

TODAY'S NUGGET: They Went That-A-Way & That-A-Away (1978) - Choreographing The Pie Fight (Slapstick)

[Quick Summary: Goofy undercover cops Dewey and Wallace are sent to prison to ferret out the location of hidden money, but Duke and his gang want it first.]

Tim Conway was one of the reasons I loved "The Carol Burnett Show" on tv.  His comedy, both verbal and slapstick, would crack up his fellow actors on live tv.*

I saw the original of this script (donated to his alma mater), complete with his handwritten changes and revised blue pages.

Like other slapstick heavy comedies,** the descriptions are long because they are showing action and reaction movements, i,e, choreography.

Note in the sample scene below:
- It was written during production, all on a blue revised page.
- In the prior scene, Dewey and Wallace have broken out of prison, kidnapped a bunch of passengers to use their cars, and arrived at the new Governor's house, uninvited. 
- Only the old Governor knew of their undercover work.
- They are being pursued by Duke and his gang, and the warden (Gunnar).
- The Governor is hosting a dinner for the Japanese ambassador. 
- Dewey and Wallace are in costume, pretending to be Japanese interpreters.
- They want to show the new Governor the can of money they found in prison and get out of jail.

 THE PIE FIGHT

I.         LADY GETS THE FIRST PIE.
II.       HER HUSBAND LAUGHS.
III.      SHE GETS SORE AND GOES TO HIT HIM WITH A PIE.
IV.      HE DUCKS AND MAN IN BACK OF HIM GETS THE PIE.
V.        HE LETS ONE FLY AND A LADY AT THE OTHER TABLE GETS IT.
VI.      DUKE GRABS WALLACE.  HE STARTS TO DRAG HIM OFF.
VII.     DUKE GETS A PIE. HE LETS WALLACE GO.
VIII.   WALLACE TAKES OUT THE CAN OF MONEY.
IX.      LUGS SEES THE CAN.
X.       WALLACE TOSSES IT TO DEWEY.  LUGS TAKES IT FROM HIM.
XI.      LUGS STARTS TO SPLIT WITH THE CAN.
XII.     HE SLIPS ON THE FLOOR AND THE CAN GOES IN THE AIR.
XIII.    IT LANDS BACK IN DEWEY'S HANDS.
XIV.    DUKE WIPES HIS EYES AND SEES THE CAN. HE GOES AFTER IT.
XV.     WALLACE TAKES A KNITTING NEEDLE AND STICKS DUKE AS HE PASSES.
XVI.    DEWEY HAS THE CAN AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN TO THE GOVERNOR.
XVII.   A PIE HITS THE GOVERNOR. "THIS ISN'T GOING WELL."
XVIII.  DEWEY TAKES THE TOP OFF THE CAN.
XIX.     LUGS REACHES OVER THE TABLE AND GRABS THE MONEY CAN.
XX.       LUGS TURNS TO RUN AND GETS A PIE. THE CAN FLIES IN THE AIR.
XXI.     THE MONEY GOES FLYING.  THE GUESTS SPOT IT.
XXII.    THE GUESTS, DUKE, LUGS...GO FOR THE MONEY.
XXIII.   THE HOSTAGE GROUP COME IN. BILLY JO TRIES TO TAKE COMMAND.
XXIV.    WALLACE CAN'T SEE. DEWEY GETS A HOSE TO GET SOME WATER.
XXV.      DEWEY TURNS THE HOSE ON. THERE IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
XXVI.    EVERYBODY GETS THE WATER. LADIES DRESS IS HOSED OFF.
XXVII.   GOVERNOR SEES THIS AND SLUMPS IN HIS CHAIR.
XXVIII.  THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE STARTS TO YELL AT HIM. HE GIVES HER A PIE.
XXIX.     DUKE DRAWS A GUN.
XXX.      GUNNAR AND HIGHWAY PATROL ARRIVE: THEY HAVE GUNS OUT.
XXXI.     THEY FIRE A FEW SHOTS IN THE AIR TO STOP THE ACTIVITY.
XXXII.    DUKE TOSSES THE GUN TO DEWEY. DUKE SHOUTS THAT HE HAS A GUN.
XXXIII.   COP TAKES A BEAD ON DEWEY AND IS ABOUT TO FIRE.
XXXIV.   WALLACE SEES THIS AND LETS THE COP HAVE A PIE BEFORE HE CAN SHOOT.
XXXV.    WALLACE TAKES THE GUY FROM DEWEY AND TOSSES IT TO THE OTHER COP.
XXXVI.   WALLACE TELLS DEWEY TO EXPLAIN TO THE GOVERNOR; HE STARTS IN JAPANESE.
XXXVII.  THE COPS START TO TAKE DEWEY AND WALLACE OFF.
XXXVIII. THE GOVERNOR STOPS THEM. HE WANTS TO HEAR THE STORY.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've never seen slapstick choreography boiled down to one page this efficiently, all action-reaction.  

They Went That-A-Way & That-A-Way (1978)(undated; revised)
by Tim Conway

*As frequently collaborator Harvey Corman said, "You can't take everything seriously. You have to break the mold."

** For example: Duck Soup and Monkey Business.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie) - When Exposition + Confrontation is All Done IN CHARACTER

[Quick Summary: In 1932, after the Lindbergh baby was ransomed (and then killed), the police pinpoint a carpenter with the money, but was he the kidnapper?]

GOOD SIGN #1: I lost track of time when I read this script.

GOOD SIGN #2: It upended my expectations - it begins with the police officer cleaning out his desk ("I was right"), but then we're shown why he was wrong.

Playwright, novelist, documentarian, screenwriter William Nicholson understands character.*  He also understands structure, which is why the script is so good.

For example, the scene below:
- This is not only exposition and confrontation, but it is all done IN CHARACTER. 
- Dr. Condon is a boaster, who is convinced Hauptmann is guilty.
- Parker, a detective, confronts him with contrary testimony.
- Now caught in a lie, Dr. Condon blusters his way through a response.
- Note Dr. Condon begins with exposition of what happened that night. It is interesting because it's true to his boasting character (contradicted few lines later).

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Dr. John Condon, orange blossom in hand, is telling his tale a fascinated audience of FELLOW DRINKERS. After many a telling, he has honed his story into quite a performance.

Parker enters while he speaks, and gets himself a drink, and listens.

CONDON: The cemetery's dark. Hauptmann is nervous, I can tell. I lead him to a bench. "Don't be afraid", I tell him. "We're alone." He gets calmer.  "Have you got the money?", he says. I way, "Wait, wait. Tell me your name." I'm playing for time, I want to get him talking, you understand. Give himself away somehow. He says, "Call me John." "Well John", I say, "Did you ever think of your own mother?" He's silent for a moment. Then, very low, "Yes", he says, and a tear comes into his eye. "Would I burn", he says, "if the baby's dead?"

This is greeted with a satisfying gasp from his appreciative audience.

LATER -

Dr. Condon is seated at a corner table with Parker, having accepted his offer of a drink.

CONDON: It's a tragic tale, a tragic tale, but perhaps some good can come out of it. I want no more children snatched from their cribs.

PARKER: Would you like to take a look at this, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: What is it?

PARKER: It's a copy of your interview with the police in the Bronx, shortly after Hauptmann's arrest.

Condon waves it away.

CONDON: So much heartbreak. We must look forward, not back.

PARKER: Perhaps you've forgotten what you said back then. You were unable to identify Hauptmann as the man you met in the cemetery. You were then warned that you yourself were under suspicion, as a possible accessory to the crime.

CONDON: I don't recall.

PARKER: Later you changed your evidence and identified Hauptmann, in court, as the man you met in the cemetery. Was that new testimony given under pressure, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: You mean, did I lie?

PARKER: I'm just trying to establish why you changed your evidence.

Condon's reply builds up into a spectacular display of outraged innocence. As his voice grows ever louder, all eyes in the bar are drawn to the little group in the corner.

CONDON: No sir, I did not lie. Who are you to walk in here and call me a liar? I offered my services to Colonel Lindbergh with no hope of reward. I have given thousands of hours of my life, and I am an old man, sir, there is little enough of my life left, thousands of hours, for the sake of justice, and my country, and yes, for that little murdered angel, and you come in here and accuse me of lying?

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  The structure of this scene (exposition, then confrontation) is wonderful.  

However, I noticed it was not really the dialogue, but the character (Condon's reaction) that was so riveting. 

Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie)(10/4/95, revised)
by William Nicholson
Based on the book, "The Airman and the Carpenter," by Ludovic Kennedy

*According to IMDB, actress Debra Winger won an Oscar nomination for Shadowlands (1993). She praised Nicholson's script to New York Times by calling it "the most literate script I've ever read. I was sad every day that I wouldn't ever say those lines again."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Primal Fear (1996) - Why EXPAND the Intro from One to Three Pages?

[Quick Summary: A defense attorney volunteers to defend a 19 y.o. street kid who is accused of murdering the Archbishop.]

I do not often read earlier drafts since too many things can affect the final shooting script, even weather or change of directors!

However, I happened to see the first page of an early draft of this script and was struck by the REASON for the changes. 

IN THE EARLY DRAFT: Vail, the defense attorney, is being interviewed by a magazine writer, who asks if a funny courtroom story was true. It wraps up p.1.

IN THE LATER DRAFT: This one pager is expanded to three pages, and I do like this version much better.

Why is the expansion? It shows Vail's point of view on the law. It sets the tone, as well as our expectations of what this ride will be like.

What does it look like on the page? Over a black screen with credits, page one begins with the magazine writer and Vail discussing that funny courtroom story.

The second page begins:

INT. VAIL'S OFFICE - DUSK

Tight on a sputter water faucet and hands. Into a cup, splash to the face and mouth. Vail. Tuxedo shirt on. Studs finally in place. Top button undone. Tie drapes over his shoulder.

VAIL: Truth? How do you mean? 

In the adjacent room, a magazine writer sits at a coffee table cluttered with notes, pencils, ashtray and ashes.

CONNERMAN: Well, I'm not sure how many ways there are to mean it.

Vail appears in the bathroom door attempting to knot the bow tie of his tuxedo.

VAIL: There's only one? One truth? (loudly) Naomi!! (shrugs) You're right there's only one that matters -

NAOMI CHANCE, an attractive Black woman comes in from another room. Vail needs her help with the tie. To Connerman, continuing - 

VAIL: The one I create in the minds of those twelve men and woman sitting on the jury. If you want to call that the illusion of truth? - well, that's up to you.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The early draft laid out a good foundational p.1, which the later draft was able to build upon.  

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the early draft exposed the need for a deeper explanation, as found in the latter draft.

Primal Fear (1996)(6/13/94* and 4/10/95, revised)
Written & revised by Steve Shagan
Based on the novel by William Diehl

*Trivia: I was particularly interested in this earlier draft, in large part because its author was the great thriller writer Steven Zaillian.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Mummy (1999) - What Sets an Action/Adventure Script Apart? Behavior Expressing Inner World

[Quick Summary: An English teacher, her brother, and an ex-Legionnaire seek buried treasures, unaware they're about to unleash a vengeful mummy.]

Q: You've read a lot of action/adventure scripts.
A: Why, yes; yes, I have.

Q: If I'm writing one, what are you looking for, on a basic craft level?
A:  Does this script know it's an action/adventure? Does it deliver the tropes (movement, conflict, often locations/travel) in a smooth read?

Q: What are you looking for, on a creativity level?
A: Most writers can handle action/adventure.  ex. Car A crashes into Car B.  

What many writers find difficult is adding character.  ex. Angry at the failure to heed the stop sign, Driver A tailgates Driver B, who drives super-slow to infuriate A.

Q: So how can I add character (motives, traits, conflicts, etc.)?
A: Focus on the behavior as a physical expression of the character's internal world.

Notice in the scene below how the writer

INT. FOYER - NIGHT

O'Connell and Jonathan race into the foyer. See Henderson's shriveled body on the floor. O'Connell runs up to Evelyn's door and rattles the knob, still locked. He bends down and looks in through the KEYHOLE. [Maybe looking through the keyhole means O'Connell is jealous?]

INT. EVELYN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Imhotep cups Evelyn's face in his hands, his HANDS instantly begin to DEGENERATE and DECAY. He leans in to kiss her. [Imhotep's desire is so strong that he's willing to decay just to kiss her.]

The door starts to CRASH and BANG from O'Connell and Jonathan trying to break in. Imhotep ignores them. And KISSES Evelyn. His lips and mouth instantly start to DEGENERATE and DECAY as he kisses her. Right down to the bone.  [Imhotep is undaunted by interruptions.]

The door BURSTS OPEN with a CRASH. Evelyn wakes-up from her trance. Sees Imhotep's rotted mouth kissing her. She SCREAMS and shoves him away. Imhotep's putrid mouth grimaces in sadness. O'Connell storms in.  [The verb "storms" has added importance to it.]

O'CONNELL: Get your hands off my girl, pal. [First verbal indication of deeper feelings for Evelyn.]

Imhotep's sadness turns to anger as he spins around and faces O'Connell. Imhotep licks his fetid lips. O'Connell smirks. 

O'CONNELL: Nice lips.

Imhotep starts to move for O'Connell. O'Connell smiles. [This is confident reaction, and unusual because the bad guy is coming at you.]

O'CONNELL: Figured you might be here, so I brought a friend.

He trows the white cat at Imhotep. Imhotep instinctively catches it. He SHRIEKS, drops the cat and stumbles back toward the window, --which suddenly BLOWS OPEN.

Imhotep CRIES OUT, spins like a dervish, then literally BURSTS INTO A WHIRLWIND OF SAND. Everybody covers their eyes. The Imhotep/sand-devil EXPLODES out the window and vanishes over the compound.  [I like the explosion into a sand-devil because it was unexpected action, but also a good manifestion of Imhotep's inner rage.]

Jonathan aims his gun at the window, his hand shaking badly. O'Connell hugs Evelyn close as she wipes her mouth in disgust. Daniels walks in, looks at Henderson's shriveled body on the floor...and drops the martini glasses. SMASH!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Behavior with a deeper meaning (of a character's motives, wounds, conflicts) will always set an action/adventure script apart.

The Mummy (1999)(3rd draft, 11/21/97)
by Stephen Sommers

TODAY'S NUGGET: Rueben Rueben (1983) - Foreshadowing the Woman Who Will Make Him Earn Her Respect

[Quick Summary: Womanizing, drunk Scottish poet, who hasn't written in years, is spun around when he meets an unimpressed young woman.]

Of all the many, many scripts he had written,* Julius Epstein said that THIS SCRIPT was the one he was most proud of (though not heard of much).**

Gowan McGland is a droll, clever poet, who is doing the lecture circuit in upstate New York.  He is also doing every female in sight and drinking himself blind.

His central problem is put best by his friendly, estranged wife Edith: "The trouble with you, Gowan, is that you've always wanted unearned fruits." 

Soon, Gowan will be meeting beautiful college student Geneva, who does not play Gowan's games.  He will have to earn her respect.

I thought it was interesting how the writer decided to foreshadow this high level of doggedness by showing it first in Geneva's mom (scene below).

NOTES:
- Mare and husband George are chicken farmers. Their daughter is Geneva.
- Mr. and Mrs. Springer are "commuters" to NY. Their son is Tad.
- The Springers didn't want Tad to date chicken farmers' daughter, and sent him away to college.
- Mare was more upset than everyone. Now she takes it out on all commuters.
- There are eggs on the shelf behind Mare.

EXT. FARMHOUSE - DAY

...Mare and George make an appearance. George stays in the b.g. With Mare, what else can he do? Mare fastens a deadpan glance at Mrs. Beausaigneur, who adopts a nervous manner of false bonhomie.

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR: Good evening. Getting quite coolish, isn't it? (no answer from Mare) I'd like a few of your wonderful fryers. Last week, when you didn't have any left, my husband was so disappointed. He says no one else has such delicious ones as you have. Four, please?

MARE: We're out of fryers.

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR: Oh. Then can I have two broilers.

MARE: We're out of broilers.

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR: Oh, dear. (pause, then with some desperation) My husband isn't really a commuter. he gets off at Stamford. Why, we don't even take the New York Times, except on Sundays.

MARE: Occupation?

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR: Investment adviser.

MARE: Place of residence?

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR: Vineyard Acres, we're practically neighbors (a little apologetic laugh) Oh, I know we're making it a bit crampedish for you, but -- (nervous laugh) You see, Lester telephoned me just now to ask could he bring a friend, a classmate home for dinner. I thought, Gawd, the house is an absolute shambles, and I'm not a short order cook. But maybe if I could fricassee a few -- (puts her hand on Mare's arm. Mare pulls away) As I say, his office is in Stamford. If you ever need any advice on investments -- (an idea hits her) He's thinking of driving in on the Thruway. Not taking the train at all.

MARE: Sorry. No chickens.

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR (desperation time): Then I'd better make an omelet. Two dozen eggs, please.

MARE: We're out of eggs.

MRS. BEUSEIGNEUR (exploding): I didn't jilt your daughter. My husband didn't jilt your daughter. Yet you make us drive clear down to town for chickens -- frozen ones at that! -- because somebody else did. If that isn't paranoid, what is!

She storms out, slamming the screen door.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: On my first read, I thought this was an amusing side story. On a closer read, it's really a more interesting way to foreshadow.

Rueben Rueben (1983)
by Julius J. Epstein
Based on the novel by Peter DeVries, and the play by Herman Shumlin

*Including: Casablanca, Yankee Doodle Dandy, Arsenic and Old Lace, Four Daughters films, etc.  

For more insights on a fascinating career, I'd recommend his in-depth interview in Naked Screenwriting (2021).

**The script is great, but I wondered if it's almost too clever a play to translate well to film?  I am looking forward to seeing the finished film.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Life with Father (1947) - How to Show Cupid's Arrow Has Landed (Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: In the 1880s, Father rules the roost (not really) with a clever wife and four red-headed boys.]

A colleague recommended this film to me, though I'd not heard of it.

Once I saw the line up of talent,* I knew I had to find the script.

Comedy is often based on reversals. The unexpected and ironic makes us laugh, especially when Cupid is involved.  So how can those arrows land with a big laugh?

FIRST: Set up the status quo.  

ex. Prior to the scene below, we see 18 y.o. Clarence told to practice his violin, which he does not like.  Also he is irritated he has to give his room up to visiting guests.

SECOND: Create conflict or a change.

ex. In the scene below, he meets one of the guests (Mary).

THIRD: Show change(s) in behavior that directly contradict previous behavior.

ex. In the scene below, he is playing violin and happy to have given up his room.

FULL SHOT  TOP OF STAIRS

Vinnie and Cora exit into the bedroom. Mary looks down the stairs to Clarence at the foot of the stairs.  Clarence with his violin starts toward the parlor.

MARY: Cora didn't tell me about you. I never met a Yale man before.

Clarence turns, almost smiling.

MARY: Oh, you play the violin.

CLARENCE: I fool with it a little.

MARY: You're just being modest.

CLARENCE: No, really --

MARY: I play the piano -- not awfully well, but --

CLARENCE: Now you're being modest.

MARY: Do you play duets?

CLARENCE: I haven't up to now.

MARY: Neither have I -- up to now.

She gives him a devastating smile, turns and hurries up stairs. At the far end of the hall John enters carrying the bags. He notices Clarence staring ecstatically up after Mary.

JOHN: What happened to you?

CLARENCE (dazedly): Nothing -- I feel fine.

Clarence lifts his violin and starts to play "Sweet Genevieve" passionately as John continues up the stairs with the bags looking back at Clarence with amazement.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked that there's no talk of love or falling in love.  The character doesn't even know what hit him!  Yet all there in his odd behavior.

Life with Father (1947)(2/6/46 final draft)
by Donal Ogden Stewart and Robert Buckner
From the play by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse

*First, I'll read anything written by Donald Ogden Stewart (Philadelphia Story). Second, I'll see anything directed by Michael Curtiz (Casablanca) at least once.  Then there's one of my favorite actors William Powell (Thin Man), the talented comedy heroine Irene Dunne (Awful Truth), and a young Elizabeth Taylor.   

Also, each one of the above is an Oscar winner or nominee.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Little White Lies (unproduced) - In a Rom-Com, Pain + Truth = Funny (& Intimacy)

[Quick Summary: After Lisa meets Paul at a Fourth of July party, she refuses to see him except on holidays.]

As you may know, I generally don't post unproduced scripts...unless there's merit.

This is a really good rom-com, which is scarcer than hens' teeth.*

One of the keys to a good rom-com is nailing the intimacy between the two leads. 

But how do you create that, especially in this age of social media oversharing?

According to my gold standard reference on the rom-com, Writing the Romantic Comedy (2020, 20th Anniversary ed.) by Billy Mernit

Pain + truth = funny.

...no matter how excruciating their public exposure may have been, the experience has somehow brought them a little closer together.  

This special kind of earned intimacy is typical of romantic comedy relationships.  Both man and woman have been exposed. But instead of alienating them, being in this nightmare together puts them on equal footing and even creates a tacit bond:  they're the special ones who've shared a little hell and lived to tell about it.  (Ch. 9: The Art of Funny)

In p. 1-3 of the script (below):
- We see how the writer immediately puts the couple in a nightmarish situation, which leads to an equal footing. 
- Note also the incredible vulnerability, which required alcohol to get to the truth.

LISA: Happy Fourth of July.

PAUL: Happy Fourth of July.

LISA: I had to have four drinks before I had the courage to come out here and talk to you. [Vulnerability]

PAUL: I didn't mean to frighten you.

LISA (takes another drink; then): You look like a man of the world. [Vulnerability]

PAUL: Within reason.

LISA: The kind of man a woman can be terribly honest with.

PAUL: Am I that obvious?

LISA: The sort of man with whom a woman can share her most intimate thoughts.

PAUL: It's like you've known me all my life.

LISA: I know you're mature enough to handle what I'm about to tell you.

PAUL: I'll do my best.

LISA:  Ready?

PAUL: Ready.

LISA: Your fly's open.  [Vulnerability, especially for well brought up Lisa]

Paul looks, and indeed the zipper on his pants is down. As he pulls the zipper up with one hand, he is very cool about it.

LISA (continuing): I had to tell you. You looked so vulnerable walking around that. [Truth]

PAUL: I appreciate it. There's nothing worse at a party than not really knowing why people keep smiling at you. [Pain + Truth]

LISA: For a minute I thought you were a flasher. Then I said to myself, "That man has too much on the ball to be a flasher. If he was one, he'd be flashing all the way." [Pain + Truth]

PAUL: I appreciate your vote of confidence. [Truth + Bond is forming]

LISA: I liked you the minute I saw you. Do you know how I knew?

PAUL: How?

LISA:  You're wearing blue underwear. I could never get close to a man who wears basic white. [Pain + Truth]

PAUL: I haven't any secrets left. [Hinting at the theme of white lies]

LISA: Secrets are for children. (then) Are you married? [Echoing theme]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Your lead characters will only feel something if there's vulnerability, intimacy, i.e., create scenes where they share an exposing experience.

Little White Lies (unproduced)(undated; perhaps 1980s?)
by Stanley Shapiro

*It was written by veteran rom-com writer Stanley Shapiro who had an amazing run in the 1960s: Pillow Talk; Operation Petticoat; Lover Come Back; Oscar winning That Touch of Mink; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Copycat (1995) - Invisible (Yet Clear) Transitions During Rising Conflict

[Quick Summary: An agoraphobic psychologist must overcome fear to work with a homicide detective hunting a copycat serial killer.] 

I am always interested in reading scripts by Frank Pierson (Dog Day Afternoon, Cool Hand Luke) or Jay Presson Allen (Prince of the City, Cabaret).*

So I was surprised to stumble across this script with them both listed.**

Both of them have put in a lot of hours in the salt mines, which I think it shows best in how they craft the transitions.  

One way I like to judge transitions is whether the script can direct the mind's eye crisply from shot to shot, or into and out of a scene (good flow), without confusion.

I give extra bonus points for the fewest amount of words (economy).

Here is a great example below.  Notice the clarity of rising conflict and flow (people on shore --> body in water --> boats --> doc --> cop). 

EXT. BAYSIDE RESTAURANT - BELVEDERE OR SAUSALITO - DAY

A BRIGHT LOVELY DAY, PEOPLE DINING AND DRINKING IN THE SUN, on a deck that faces the Bay and San Francisco's towers beyond. Young people, drinks in hand, dressed to go to a summer wedding, mingle and laugh and chatter. A young woman stands leaning back against the wooden rail, her back to the Bay. A young man faces her, talking, laughing. HE LEANS CLOSE TO WHISPER IN HER EAR AND SHE LEANS BACK, DRAWING HIM CLOSER TO HER - SEXY! AS HE WHISPERS HE CAN SEE OVER HER SHOULDER INTO THE WATER BELOW.

REVERSE, CLOSE: YOUNG MAN - His face registering horror at what he sees: he shops speaking, and the GIRL turns to look down to see what it is he's looking at, and begins to SCREAM...

THEIR P.O.V.

Below, floating in the water is ANDY, wearing his bright jacket, except it's not all of Andy. HIS HEAD IS MISSING.

                                                                                            CUT TO:

REVERSE: (TIME HAS PASSED). FROM WHAT WOULD BE ANDY'S P.O.V. - FACES LOOKING DOWN   M.J., QUINN, SAKS AND CORONER'S MEN...

THEIR P.O.V.     NOW RUBBER BOATS HAVE BEEN TIED IN A RING AROUND THE BODY. DOC IS DOING HIS WORK, PREPARATORY TO LIFTING THE BODY OUT OF THE WATER...

HE PULLS A WALLET OUT OF THE POCKET AND HOLDS IT UP TO THE PEOPLE ABOVE.

M.J. TAKES IT. BEGINS TO LOOK THROUGH IT...    SHE IS NUMB WITH EXHAUSTION AND SORROW.

                                                                                         CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was really impressed that I didn't notice the transitions at all.  Somehow it was one less barrier to experiencing the characters' P.O.V.

Copycat (1995)(3rd draft, dated 7/4/94)
by Frank Pierson and Ann Biderman and Jay Presson Allen

* For further reading, these are excellent interviews: Pierson, Allen.

**They're not formally credited, so I presume this was a re-write job.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The French Dispatch (2021) - Contrast of food (comfort) + Emergency (anxiety) = Funny

[Quick Summary: Anthology of 3 stories from the French outpost of a fictional magazine (artist in prison, student revolt, kidnapped son of police commissaire).]

In this film, Bill Murray plays the recently deceased editor-in-chief of The French Dispatch.  His writers have gathered to write his obituary. 

However, most of the film is about three write ups for the magazine. 

I particularly thought the kidnapping one was vastly creative, character driven, and pushed the heights of fun farce and ridiculousness.

Roebuck Wright is the food writer who is sent to interview a famous chef.  He oddly chooses Nescaffier, the Commissaire's chef, who is adept at food-on-the-run.

A crime syndicate kidnaps the Commissaire's son in exchange for an imprisoned accountant.  But hurrah! A hint and the Commissaire roars into action!

I really liked the split screen of the Commissaire eating while working on site.  The contrast of food (comfort) + emergency (anxiety) = funny.  

Here is a partial sample:

MONTAGE:

Split-screen: on the right, the Commissaire, seated at the workbench table in the locksmith shop, speaks excitedly to the Chou-fleur while eating continuously with his left hand only; on the left, a small, speckled, boiled egg split open to reveal layers of whipped yolk  mousse.

    ROEBUCK WRIGHT (V.O.)                        COMMISSAIRE
To start: deviled eggs of the                   Send a commando unit to secure
precinct, canary served in                      all access points to the south
shells of its own meringue.                    and west.

On the right, the Commissaire, seated at the workbench table in the locksmith shop, speaks excitedly to Maman while eating continuously with his left hand only; on the left: a saucer of gibiers and fruits des bois.

    ROEBUCK WRIGHT (V.O.)                        COMMISSAIRE
Next: kidneys poached with                  Send a guerrilla detachment to
plums from the mayor's rooftop           block all egress routes to the
arbor.                                                          east and north.

On the right, the Commissaire illustrates (using arrows and X's) his scheme/strategy on one of the building floor plan maps; on the left, small boulettes shaped and packaged like a bowl of candies.

     ROEBUCK WRIGHT (V.O.)                        COMMISSAIRE
Then: minced lamb bon-bons in         Drill tunnels (circumference:
pastry wrappers.                                     75 mm) through the partition
                                                                    walls of all three adjacent
                                                                    buildings.

On the right, teenage boys and girls in shooting costumes perch among high chimney tops; on the left. another thermos.

     ROEBUCK WRIGHT (V.O.)                        COMMISSAIRE
Blase oyster soup.                                 On the rooftops: amateur
                                                                  snipers from the local hunting
                                                                  club.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't be afraid to go split screen and show contrast for an existential laugh. 

ex. Roebuck Wright is reporting on the food in rapturous detail (extravagant lifestyle channel) while the Commissaire plots a rescue (true crime channel).

The French Dispatch (2021)
by Wes Anderson
Story by West Anderson & Roman Coppola & Hugo Guinness & Jason Schwartzman