[Quick Summary: Hallie Peterson, the new Chronicle reporter, outscoops Globe reporter Peter Brackett over mysterious deaths of scientists.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) IS THIS A ROM-COM? It's more mystery than the Hallie-Peter relationship.
2) CATCHING A CHARACTER IN A LIE. How does the audience know that the character knows the jig is up? Often by the reactions of other characters.
For example, in the scene below:
- Peter has submitted one of his old newspaper columns to his editor Greenfield.
- Greenfield remembers seeing it before.
- From Greenfield's reaction, the audience puts 2 + 2 together that Peter realizes he has been caught.
- Notice the script does not tell us Peter's reaction.
ex. "INT. CITY ROOM
...Greenfield looks at Peter with hooded eyes, says nothing.
PETER: Don't give me that hound dog look, I don't cover the beat anymore.
GREENFIELD: And I don't print recycled columns.
PETER: I don't believe what I'm hearing. Are you accusing me of --
GREENFIELD (to Copy Boy): --Pull up Brackett's columns from the mid-eighties. Something like, 'Gun Shy', 'Guns of Something...', 'Guns and Roses'...
Peter starts to object...
GREENFIELD (remembers): 'Johnny Got A Gun'!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I never know if my intent is clear enough to the reader. Is my writing clear about how I want them to put 2 + 2 together? Or am I too vague?
I think this is one of those things that benefits from feedback from colleagues.
I Love Trouble (1994)(revised draft, 6/2/93)
by Nancy Meyers and Charles Shyer
Monday, June 24, 2019
Monday, June 17, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Big Trouble in Little China (1986) - Use of a Kiss During an Action Sequence
[Quick Summary: Jack Burton helps his friend Wang Chi rescue Wang's green eyed fiancee from the supernatural Lo Pan whose lair is underneath Chinatown.]
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) Too Much of the Same. I liked that this script has so much action.
But after awhile, it was the just the same scene, the same emotional dynamics.
Roger Ebert explains it much better:
However, I liked the kiss in the scene below because it has multiple layers:
- It acknowledges there is a Jack-Gracie attraction.
- It releases the audience's tension, now that all the captives are freed.
- It symbolizes freedom and celebration.
ex. "INT. BATHING POOL - DAY
UNDERWATER...AN INLET... A PIPE 18 INCHES WIDE...PEOPLE SQUEEZING INTO IT...TALK ABOUT INSANITY...BUBBLES, PANIC, THRASHING BODIES...WE DON'T SEE JACK BURTON.
INT. PIPE - DAY
Up ahead the first Chinese girl surfaces! Still in the pipe but above its water level! The going's still nightmarish but there's air...AND THE PIPE'S GETTING WIDER, NOT MUCH, 36 INCHES. Gracie breaks the surface! Wang Chi next!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Margo?!
Wang Chi has no idea, and Gracie shoves him on by her, Margo appearing, Gracie shoving her on by...
MARGO LITZENBERGER: Where are we!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Eddie?!
Eddie! Gasping for air! Gracie helps him, shoves him forward...
GRACIE LAW: Where's Jack?!
"Jack?" Getting familiar, Gracie showing concern, huh? She's looking back at the water, no Jack...no Jack... THEN JACK ERUPTING IN HER FACE!
GRACIE LAW: Jack!
She grabs him, elated. So is Jack, to be breathing again and be hugged by Gracie Law when a second ago he thought it was curtains...so he kisses her!
GRACIE LAW: Hey!
JACK BURTON: Sorry, sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.
GRACIE: Yeah, right. Let's go.
Their wet bodies on top of each other, no way they can move at the same time.
JACK BURTON: Ladies first."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The purpose of the kiss was not one fold, and thus had more meaning.
(In other words: It meant something more than just romantic attraction.)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)(rev. shooting script, 9/17/85)
by David Weinstein and Gary Goldman
Revisions by W.D. Richter
Directed by John Carpenter
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) Too Much of the Same. I liked that this script has so much action.
But after awhile, it was the just the same scene, the same emotional dynamics.
Roger Ebert explains it much better:
...the first 30 minutes of the movie gave me lots of room for hope. It was fast-moving, it was visually spectacular, it was exotic and lighthearted and filled with a spirit of adventure. But then, gradually, the movie began to recycle itself. It began to feel as if I was seeing the same thing more than once. After one amazing subterranean chamber had been survived and conquered, everybody fell down a chute into another one. By the end of the movie, I was just plain weary.2) Use of a Kiss During an Action Sequence. This script does not really delve into the Jack-Gracie relationship, which is fine. It's not that kind of movie.
However, I liked the kiss in the scene below because it has multiple layers:
- It acknowledges there is a Jack-Gracie attraction.
- It releases the audience's tension, now that all the captives are freed.
- It symbolizes freedom and celebration.
ex. "INT. BATHING POOL - DAY
UNDERWATER...AN INLET... A PIPE 18 INCHES WIDE...PEOPLE SQUEEZING INTO IT...TALK ABOUT INSANITY...BUBBLES, PANIC, THRASHING BODIES...WE DON'T SEE JACK BURTON.
INT. PIPE - DAY
Up ahead the first Chinese girl surfaces! Still in the pipe but above its water level! The going's still nightmarish but there's air...AND THE PIPE'S GETTING WIDER, NOT MUCH, 36 INCHES. Gracie breaks the surface! Wang Chi next!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Margo?!
Wang Chi has no idea, and Gracie shoves him on by her, Margo appearing, Gracie shoving her on by...
MARGO LITZENBERGER: Where are we!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Eddie?!
Eddie! Gasping for air! Gracie helps him, shoves him forward...
GRACIE LAW: Where's Jack?!
"Jack?" Getting familiar, Gracie showing concern, huh? She's looking back at the water, no Jack...no Jack... THEN JACK ERUPTING IN HER FACE!
GRACIE LAW: Jack!
She grabs him, elated. So is Jack, to be breathing again and be hugged by Gracie Law when a second ago he thought it was curtains...so he kisses her!
GRACIE LAW: Hey!
JACK BURTON: Sorry, sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.
GRACIE: Yeah, right. Let's go.
Their wet bodies on top of each other, no way they can move at the same time.
JACK BURTON: Ladies first."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The purpose of the kiss was not one fold, and thus had more meaning.
(In other words: It meant something more than just romantic attraction.)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)(rev. shooting script, 9/17/85)
by David Weinstein and Gary Goldman
Revisions by W.D. Richter
Directed by John Carpenter
Monday, June 10, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Maid in Manhattan (2002) - One Key to a Strong Rom-Com
[Quick Summary: In a case of mistaken identity, a maid is asked out on a date by a senatorial candidate and chaos ensues when the truth is leaked.]
I stand by my belief that rom-coms are one of the hardest genres to crack.
So what is the secret to pulling it off?
I saw a good answer TWICE in the last week: Fall in love while doing other things.*
Simple, right?!...Wait, that's difficult... How do you do that?
This script shows one key:
We see that protagonist in his/her daily life.
--> Protagonist encounters love interest.
--> Protagonist CHANGES in his/her daily life.
= The change IS the evidence of "falling in love."
I chose the scene below for two reasons:
1) Because it shows Chris, the love interest, at a benefit (his daily life) and breaking away from routine after meeting Marisa (a definite change).
2) Because the unconscious smiling thing really happens in real life.**
ex. "INT. RAINBOW ROOM - NIGHT
...The song ends. The dance floor empties. Chris and Marisa remain, face to face.
MARISA: Look, I don't want to stop you from doing the right thing.
Chris smiles. She looks at him questioning.
MARISA: What? Why are you smiling...
CHRIS: Nothing, it's just, up until this minute, I didn't know what that was. But I do now.
MARISA: You do what?
He begins to walk away.
MARISA: Where are you going?
CHRIS: I'm going to give old Jerry an interesting challenge.
MARISA: Because of me?
CHRIS: Because of us. We're not staying.
MARISA: We're not?
CHRIS: Nope. And that might make him a little...miffed."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Falling in love should be part of the protagonist's overall story, but not the whole story. Otherwise, it's rather dull.
Chambermaid (Maid in Manhattan) (2002)(2/25/02 draft)
by John Hughes (story), revised by Kevin Wade
*I read the same observation TWICE in the last week:
- Ebert: "And Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes make an intriguing couple because their characters have ways of passing the time other than falling in love. (I grow impatient when movie characters are so limited they can think of nothing better to do than follow the plot.)"
- Mernit on "It Happened One Night": "The movie's a textbook on how romantic happens, which is often when your characters are busy doing other things."
**In grad school, I met "someone special" from another school and didn't tell anyone. A classmate, who rarely spoke to me and did not know me well, asked me why I was smiling all the time. It freaked me out! Was I that obvious? I could've sworn that I was acting normally. I had had no idea.
I stand by my belief that rom-coms are one of the hardest genres to crack.
So what is the secret to pulling it off?
I saw a good answer TWICE in the last week: Fall in love while doing other things.*
Simple, right?!...Wait, that's difficult... How do you do that?
This script shows one key:
We see that protagonist in his/her daily life.
--> Protagonist encounters love interest.
--> Protagonist CHANGES in his/her daily life.
= The change IS the evidence of "falling in love."
I chose the scene below for two reasons:
1) Because it shows Chris, the love interest, at a benefit (his daily life) and breaking away from routine after meeting Marisa (a definite change).
2) Because the unconscious smiling thing really happens in real life.**
ex. "INT. RAINBOW ROOM - NIGHT
...The song ends. The dance floor empties. Chris and Marisa remain, face to face.
MARISA: Look, I don't want to stop you from doing the right thing.
Chris smiles. She looks at him questioning.
MARISA: What? Why are you smiling...
CHRIS: Nothing, it's just, up until this minute, I didn't know what that was. But I do now.
MARISA: You do what?
He begins to walk away.
MARISA: Where are you going?
CHRIS: I'm going to give old Jerry an interesting challenge.
MARISA: Because of me?
CHRIS: Because of us. We're not staying.
MARISA: We're not?
CHRIS: Nope. And that might make him a little...miffed."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Falling in love should be part of the protagonist's overall story, but not the whole story. Otherwise, it's rather dull.
Chambermaid (Maid in Manhattan) (2002)(2/25/02 draft)
by John Hughes (story), revised by Kevin Wade
*I read the same observation TWICE in the last week:
- Ebert: "And Jennifer Lopez and Ralph Fiennes make an intriguing couple because their characters have ways of passing the time other than falling in love. (I grow impatient when movie characters are so limited they can think of nothing better to do than follow the plot.)"
- Mernit on "It Happened One Night": "The movie's a textbook on how romantic happens, which is often when your characters are busy doing other things."
**In grad school, I met "someone special" from another school and didn't tell anyone. A classmate, who rarely spoke to me and did not know me well, asked me why I was smiling all the time. It freaked me out! Was I that obvious? I could've sworn that I was acting normally. I had had no idea.
Monday, June 3, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Flubber (1997) - The Space Between Two Characters
[Quick Summary: An absent minded professor invents flying rubber ("flubber") that might save his college from closing.]
GOOD NEWS: I can tell John Hughes worked really, really hard on this script.
BAD NEWS: I'm not sure if it was requirements of the job or not, but it tries to go large. I felt it lost some of that intimate, Hughes-ian dynamic.
GOOD NEWS: The beginning starts off with that intimate feel, and some of the best character work.
I think the scene below remained very real and intimate to me because it is focused on the space between the Professor and the students.
Who will realize what is going on first? Who will dare speak up first?
ex. "EXT. MEDFIELD COLLEGE. AFTERNOON
A pleasant, small town university. Brick buildings spangled with ivy, clipped lawns, mature trees overhanging quiet walks.
INT. LIFE DRAWING CLASS. CU. MODEL
From behind. Nude. ART STUDENTS are drawing.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. DOOR
The Professor walks into the classroom.
CU. MODEL
She looks over her shoulder with surprise.
HER POV
The Professor crosses to a still-life table. He removes an orange, a pheasant, and a bunch of grapes and places them on a desk beside the table. He sets his briefcase on the table.
PROFESSOR: Whoever brought me the orange, the pheasant, and the grapes, thank you.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. STUDENTS
They stare at Phillip with confusion.
CU. PROFESSOR
He clears his throat.
PROFESSOR: Last time we met, we were discussing the unstable and transient nature of supersaturated solutions.
He steps back from the table and puts his hands in his pockets.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. STUDENTS
They exchange puzzled looks.
CU. PROFESSOR
He grins warmly.
PROFESSOR: Stick with me, it's simple.
Something catches his eye. His smile fades. He snaps his fingers angrily.
PROFESSOR: Young lady! Shirt and shoes in my class, please.That's the rule.
CU. MODEL
The startled Model holds her robe to her chest and shoulders. She quickly puts on her slippers."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I found this script hard to believe.
(Perhaps it was because the important dilemma for everyone else (save or destroy the university) was not really important to the Professor?)
Absent Minded Professor/Flubber (1997)(early draft, 10/31/95)
by John Hughes
Based on a short story,"A Situation of Gravity," by Samuel W. Taylor
GOOD NEWS: I can tell John Hughes worked really, really hard on this script.
BAD NEWS: I'm not sure if it was requirements of the job or not, but it tries to go large. I felt it lost some of that intimate, Hughes-ian dynamic.
GOOD NEWS: The beginning starts off with that intimate feel, and some of the best character work.
I think the scene below remained very real and intimate to me because it is focused on the space between the Professor and the students.
Who will realize what is going on first? Who will dare speak up first?
ex. "EXT. MEDFIELD COLLEGE. AFTERNOON
A pleasant, small town university. Brick buildings spangled with ivy, clipped lawns, mature trees overhanging quiet walks.
INT. LIFE DRAWING CLASS. CU. MODEL
From behind. Nude. ART STUDENTS are drawing.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. DOOR
The Professor walks into the classroom.
CU. MODEL
She looks over her shoulder with surprise.
HER POV
The Professor crosses to a still-life table. He removes an orange, a pheasant, and a bunch of grapes and places them on a desk beside the table. He sets his briefcase on the table.
PROFESSOR: Whoever brought me the orange, the pheasant, and the grapes, thank you.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. STUDENTS
They stare at Phillip with confusion.
CU. PROFESSOR
He clears his throat.
PROFESSOR: Last time we met, we were discussing the unstable and transient nature of supersaturated solutions.
He steps back from the table and puts his hands in his pockets.
INT. ART CLASSROOM. STUDENTS
They exchange puzzled looks.
CU. PROFESSOR
He grins warmly.
PROFESSOR: Stick with me, it's simple.
Something catches his eye. His smile fades. He snaps his fingers angrily.
PROFESSOR: Young lady! Shirt and shoes in my class, please.That's the rule.
CU. MODEL
The startled Model holds her robe to her chest and shoulders. She quickly puts on her slippers."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I found this script hard to believe.
(Perhaps it was because the important dilemma for everyone else (save or destroy the university) was not really important to the Professor?)
Absent Minded Professor/Flubber (1997)(early draft, 10/31/95)
by John Hughes
Based on a short story,"A Situation of Gravity," by Samuel W. Taylor
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