TODAY'S NUGGET: Copycat (1995) - Invisible (Yet Clear) Transitions During Rising Conflict

[Quick Summary: An agoraphobic psychologist must overcome fear to work with a homicide detective hunting a copycat serial killer.] 

I am always interested in reading scripts by Frank Pierson (Dog Day Afternoon, Cool Hand Luke) or Jay Presson Allen (Prince of the City, Cabaret).*

So I was surprised to stumble across this script with them both listed.**

Both of them have put in a lot of hours in the salt mines, which I think it shows best in how they craft the transitions.  

One way I like to judge transitions is whether the script can direct the mind's eye crisply from shot to shot, or into and out of a scene (good flow), without confusion.

I give extra bonus points for the fewest amount of words (economy).

Here is a great example below.  Notice the clarity of rising conflict and flow (people on shore --> body in water --> boats --> doc --> cop). 

EXT. BAYSIDE RESTAURANT - BELVEDERE OR SAUSALITO - DAY

A BRIGHT LOVELY DAY, PEOPLE DINING AND DRINKING IN THE SUN, on a deck that faces the Bay and San Francisco's towers beyond. Young people, drinks in hand, dressed to go to a summer wedding, mingle and laugh and chatter. A young woman stands leaning back against the wooden rail, her back to the Bay. A young man faces her, talking, laughing. HE LEANS CLOSE TO WHISPER IN HER EAR AND SHE LEANS BACK, DRAWING HIM CLOSER TO HER - SEXY! AS HE WHISPERS HE CAN SEE OVER HER SHOULDER INTO THE WATER BELOW.

REVERSE, CLOSE: YOUNG MAN - His face registering horror at what he sees: he shops speaking, and the GIRL turns to look down to see what it is he's looking at, and begins to SCREAM...

THEIR P.O.V.

Below, floating in the water is ANDY, wearing his bright jacket, except it's not all of Andy. HIS HEAD IS MISSING.

                                                                                            CUT TO:

REVERSE: (TIME HAS PASSED). FROM WHAT WOULD BE ANDY'S P.O.V. - FACES LOOKING DOWN   M.J., QUINN, SAKS AND CORONER'S MEN...

THEIR P.O.V.     NOW RUBBER BOATS HAVE BEEN TIED IN A RING AROUND THE BODY. DOC IS DOING HIS WORK, PREPARATORY TO LIFTING THE BODY OUT OF THE WATER...

HE PULLS A WALLET OUT OF THE POCKET AND HOLDS IT UP TO THE PEOPLE ABOVE.

M.J. TAKES IT. BEGINS TO LOOK THROUGH IT...    SHE IS NUMB WITH EXHAUSTION AND SORROW.

                                                                                         CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was really impressed that I didn't notice the transitions at all.  Somehow it was one less barrier to experiencing the characters' P.O.V.

Copycat (1995)(3rd draft, dated 7/4/94)
by Frank Pierson and Ann Biderman and Jay Presson Allen

* For further reading, these are excellent interviews: Pierson, Allen.

**They're not formally credited, so I presume this was a re-write job.

2019 OSCARS: A Star is Born (2018) - One Intent Per Scene

[Quick Summary: Superstar Jackson Maine meets Ally, a promising singer.]

TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:

1) It reads fast.  I was not excited to read a 137 pg. script.

However, it is reads fast and the scenes are clear.

2) One intent per scene.  I also think it reads quickly because it does not try to do too much, i.e., it  sticks to one intent per scene, rather several.

In the scene below: Note that it seems long on the page at first glance.

However, it will read fast because it is all one thought.

ex. "INT. BILTMORE HOTEL - BATHROOM - WIDE SHOT - DAY

PAN ALONG the bottom of a number of stalls. The bathroom seemingly empty... Until we hear a HUSHED VOICE and see two feet in heels in a stall down at the end.

ALLY (O.S.)(into phone): Roger...You're a wonderful man, yes, and you're a great lawyer. We're ust not meant to be together.

ANOTHER ANGLE - INSIDE THE STALL

ALLY CAMPANA, (early 30s) is on her cell phone.

ALLY (into phone): No, I don't wanna marry you -- are you crazy?!? The hell's the matter with you? Roger, we're done. Oh, God.

She hangs up, opens the door to the stall, and screams bloody murder.

ALLY: Fucking men!

She pulls herself together."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the intent of a scene crisp and clear.  Don't overload a scene with too many ideas. A short script with half-baked ideas is just as bad.

A Star is Born (2018)(final, 10/5/18)
by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters

Based on the 1954 screenplay by Moss Hart and the 1976 screenplay by John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion and Frank Pierson

Based on a story by William Wellman and Robert Carson

TODAY'S NUGGET: #69 WGA Script of All Time - Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

[Quick Summary: Based on a true 1972 story, two robbers hold up a Brooklyn bank (one robber is financing his lover's sex change operation), and become the first inadvertent media darlings.]

Though the 1st half of the script was struggle to read, I was impressed by the opening lines:

"EXT. ELECTRIC SIGN

It FILLS THE SCREEN....It says:

2:51

This message will be a little cryptic to the movie audience on an essentially BLACK SCREEN. HOLD for a beat, then it changes: the lights flash this sign, which should explain it to everyone:

94 degrees F."

I know everything in a few sentences: 

- It's summer & hot & in the afternoon.
- We're at a bank.
- Something is about to go down at the bank.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  It's extremely smart to orient your reader to the location. 

It says, "I'm not trying to outsmart you, reader. I trust you. We're in this together."

Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
by Frank Pierson

TODAY'S NUGGET: #82 WGA Script of All Time - Cool Hand Luke (1967)

[Quick Summary: A too-smart-for-his-own-good prisoner doesn't fit into a rural prison.]

Certain spec scripts (ex. torture porn, child abuse, rape) are painful to read.

Yet I have read them, & managed not to be scarred for life.

So why was the excellent Cool Hand Luke nearly too painful for me to read?

Because Luke keeps getting caught escaping prison. With each attempt, the guards crushes, demoralizes, pulverizes our hero...

...& we see a man losing hope.

A man without hope is scarier & uglier than blood & guts could ever be.

Don't believe me?  Read p. 131 when Luke grovels for mercy.

The writers definitely deserve their Oscar nomination for crafting emotion on the page. The key is that they never went easy on their protagonist (something I see in too many spec scripts today).

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Luke's escapes were physical manifestations of his emotional state.

The more desperate he felt, the bolder his actions.

Cool Hand Luke (1967)
by Frank Pierson & Hal Dresner