TODAY'S NUGGET: The Misfits (1961) - A Really Great "Willow-O'-the- Wisp" Role for Marilyn Monroe

[Quick Summary: A recent divorcee attracts three very different men in Reno, NV.]

One thing that isn't often mentioned about this film is that playwright Arthur Miller wrote Marilyn Monroe a really great character in the part of Roslyn.*

(I do imagine it didn't help Monroe that her husband (Miller) had written her a role is about a divorcee, and she was about to become one in reality.)

Roslyn is fully fleshed out.  On the one hand, she's effervescent, a "willow o' the wisp," and a fun charmer.

On the other hand, her emotional honesty can be rather blunt.  She dips in and out of humor as well as emotional quagmires with amazing dexterity. 

Prior to the scene below:
- Roslyn got a divorce and is now staying with Isabelle. 
- Roslyn meets Guido, who falls for her, and Gay, who's not as impressed.
- Roslyn wants to leave Reno for the countryside.
- Guido suggests the four of them go out to see his house in the country.
- Guido built the house for his wife, who died in the house giving birth 
- In the scene below, the foursome have just arrived at Guido's house.
- The house is half built, and overrunning with weeds.
- There's no front steps. The door is a few feet above the ground.  
- Guido has just said his wife wasn't like Roslyn, not graceful. Roslyn adds "She's dead."

Guido, struck with guilt and wounded by some aspersions on his fidelity to a previously hallowed wife, tries to keep his grin and the gay mood, but his eyes are resentful, and he halts. On the couch, Gay and Isabelle are observing, eating sandwiches and drinking, sensing something serious now.

GUIDO (Trying to laugh at her): What do you mean by that?

ROSLYN (She stays close to him looking up into his face): Whyn't you teach her to be graceful?

GUIDO: You can't teach that.

ROSLYN: How do you know? I mean you do you know? I mean did you ever dance that way with your wife? 

GUIDO: Well she just couldn't make that kind of . . . 

ROSLYN: You see? She died, and she never knew how you could dance! I mean it's nobody's fault, but to a certain extent -- (She holds thumb and index finger a half inch apart) -- I mean just to a certain extent maybe you were strangers.

GUIDO (Defensively; hardening): I don't feel like discussing my wife. 

ROSLYN (she takes his arm -- the jazz is going, she is high now): Oh! I didn't mean to make you mad. I just meant that if you loved her you could have taught her anything. Because we have to die, we're really dying right now, aren't we? All the husbands and all the wives are dying every minute, and they are not teaching one another what they really know! (Genuinely trying to plead with him) You're such a nice man, Guido -- why are you so afraid?! (She wipes her hair out of her eyes to blot out the sight of his resentful face, and suddenly . . . ) I want air! (She goes quickly to the door and starts to step out. GAY rushes from the couch and catches her before she goes down where the step is missing. ISABELLE rushes right behind him. GAY, holding her. . .) 

GAY: You better lie down, girl.

ISABELLE: Come on, let's get back home. Heist her down, Cowboy. 

ROSLYN: No, I'm all right, I'm all  . . . ! (She starts once again to walk out the door. GAY leaps down to the ground and SHE falls into his arms standing up. She looks into his face, laughing in surprise at her sudden drop) How'd you get out here?

ISABELLE (Calling from the threshold): Get me down, Cowboy! Get in the car, Roslyn! -- we're goin' home! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I marveled at that Miller didn't betray Roslyn's effervescence while allowing for great emotional dexterity. It would be so easy to favor one way or the other. 

The Misfits (1961)
by Arthur Miller

*Things that are often said about this film:
- It was the last film for Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable.
- Both passed away shortly after the film. 
- It was written for Monroe by her husband, the playwright Arthur Miller.
- Monroe did not enjoy filming. 
- She and Miller were having problems and would divorce after the film wrapped. 

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Day After Tomorrow (unproduced) - An Effective Use of "SAME TIME" and "CUT TO:" for Clarity, Tempo

[Quick Summary: After he spots the man who killed his father, a traumatized surgeon goes on the run to pursue the killer.]

Writers Clement and la Frenais are well-known for their humor, but I have also enjoyed their action chops. 

Today's script has great action that's easy to follow, even though there are multiple, simultaneous story arcs.  I wasn't ever lost or confused.  How did they do it? 

As I read, I noticed two helpful sets of transition words that I tend to forget to use*: 

1) Using SAME TIME - This was sort of a "hold the main arc for a minute, we're taking a side trip" reminder to me.

 2) Using "CUT TO:" - When reading at full speed, I didn't pay much attention to this.  Looking back, I do think it's very helpful as a rhythm thing, to unconsciously flag that there was going to be a switch in tempo. 

The scene below is a good example that uses both these transitions: 
- Paul was a child, when Kanarack killed Paul's father.
- Paul saw Kanarack in their house and never forgot Kanarack's face.
- Paul hires a p.i. who tracks down Kanarack and the location of his house. 
- Paul goes into Kanarack's house to find proof this is the right guy.
- Try reading this scene at full speed first.  Then re-read it, noticing that "SAME TIME" and "CUT TO" are subtle clues to changes of POV and tempo.
- Also notice that despite the multiple arcs, there is clarity because there is unity of action: Paul is trespassing in Kanarack's house. Kanarack is after Paul. Someone is shooting at them both. 

EXT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE

The Jaguar pulls up the driveway...Kanarack climbs out. Sees the broken window.

                                                                   CUT TO: 

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- CLOSET

Paul rummages in a FOOTLOCKER...Packets of MONEY in various CURRENCIES...Paul finds a plastic ENVELOPE...Opens it as he moves to the bedroom to read them in the daylight... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- KITCHEN

As Kanarack enters the kitchen, the cat SCURRIES OUTSIDE...Kanarack listens intently as he tiptoes inside...Slowly, quietly he opens a drawer...Finds a CHEF'S KNIFE...Knife at the ready, he tiptoes inside...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- BEDROOM

As Paul moves to access the daylight from the windows, he riffles through the DOCUMENTS in the plastic envelope...PASSPORTS with several different IDENTITIES, all with Kanarack's photo...Also DRIVER'S LICENSES...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- STAIRS

Brandishing the knife, Kanarack moves slowly up the stairs...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. BEDROOM

As Paul continues to go through the documents, something catches his eye. His brow furrows, puzzled... 

A DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT issued by the government of SYRIA, with Kanarack's photo and a phony identity...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME KANARACK'S HOUSE

POV -- THROUGH TELESCOPIC SIGHT

Following Paul through the lace curtains of the bedroom windows...A SNIPER, 20s, Palestinian, on a nearby rooftop...The CROSSHAIRS line up over Paul's HEAD...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- BEDROOM

Paul looks at the Syrian passport, thinks a beat...Glances out the window...He pulls the curtain back for a better look...

PAUL'S POV

As the CAT plays on the front lawn...

CLOSE ON -- PAUL

Wondering...How did the cat get on the front lawn... He realizes...That Kanarack is INSIDE THE HOUSE...Just as... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE 

...The SNIPER pulls on the trigger of his silenced .580 SNIPER'S RIFLE...PFFFFFT!...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. BEDROOM

Paul TURNS inside just as the glass SHATTERS...A floral pillow EXPLODES in feathers as the headboard of the bed behind it SPLINTERS..

Terrified, Paul THROWS himself to the floor... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- STAIRS

Kanarack hears the noise of the impact, the thud of Paul's body as it falls...He FREEZES on the stairs... 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When I write, these transitions seem clunky, sticking out like sore thumbs. However, when I read, they establish a tempo, so they aren't as noticeable, more like background players.

Also: unity in an action scene helps keep multiple story arcs from being confusing. 

The Day After Tomorrow (unproduced)
by  Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais

* I visualize these transitions like bowling alley gutter bumpers that keep kids' bowling balls on track (photo example here).

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Bank Job (2008) - Is It Ok to Open With Literary Quotes? (Openings)

[Quick Summary: In 1971 England, three average blokes are hired by old school friend Martine to tunnel into a bank, but her reasons are not what they expected.]

Q: Is a literary quote at the beginning of a script ok?
A: Generally, I don't like them because it slows me down getting into a script. 

Q: Is there any occasion when it is effective?
A: Today's script is one of those rare occasions because:
- The purpose is the irony, which produces a laugh.
- You don't have to understand the quote to get the irony, only the contrast of the two quotes.
- It is short.
 

Here is the first page:  

 ON a Black Screen we fade in:

                           'There is a tide in the affairs of men
                    which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.'

                                                       William Shakespeare

                           'Every dog has his day - even the underdog.'

                                             Some bloke in a pub in Battersea 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The use of the literary quotes is effective here because it's an unexpected use of them.  We are not supposed to be impressed by the quotes, but the contrast between them. This different point of view is part of the writers' comedic and ironic voice. 

The Bank Job (2008)(1/3/01 draft)
by Dick Clement & Ian La Frenais 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Full Moon (Unproduced) - What A "Very British Sense of Humor" Looks Like on the Page

[Quick Summary: After a fictional young New Yorker flies to the UK for adventure, he becomes a minder to over-the-top Keith Moon, drummer of The Who band.]

What characterizes British humor?  Here's part of an essay from British comedian Ricky Gervais that was helpful to me: 

I would say that Americans are more “down the line.” They don’t hide their hopes and fears. They applaud ambition and openly reward success. Brits are more comfortable with life’s losers. We embrace the underdog until it’s no longer the underdog. We like to bring authority down a peg or two. Just for the hell of it. Americans say, “have a nice day” whether they mean it or not. Brits are terrified to say this. We tell ourselves it’s because we don’t want to sound insincere but I think it might be for the opposite reason. We don’t want to celebrate anything too soon. Failure and disappointment lurk around every corner. This is due to our upbringing. Americans are brought up to believe they can be the next president of the United States. Brits are told, “It won’t happen for you.” 

Today's script (unproduced) is written by the UK writing team of Dick Clement & Ian la Frenais,* who are best known for their trademark British sense of humor.** 

It's a good example of British humor around one of "life's losers." Keith Moon is ultra famous, but  brings self-destructive anarchy wherever he goes. 

In the scenes below:
- Dougal is the protagonist of the film, and Moon's minder/assistant.
- Moon has a house in Malibu next door to the actor Steve McQueen.
- Moon has become such a nuisance that McQueen built a fence between them.
- Moon is upset that McQueen would want a fence.
-  He decides to "bring authority down a peg or two, just for the hell of it." 
- The irony is that: 1) because Moon insists on a life of continual excess, booze, drugs, and partying that he's lost touch with normal social customs; 2) what Moon wants is connection with McQueen, but his actions isolate himself even more.

 

EXT. MCQUEEN HOUSE   POOLSIDE   DAY

A Hispanic Maid walks from the house with a tray containing a beer and a club sandwich. The fence is finished between the two properties and there's SILENCE except for seagulls and surf. There's a figure lying in a lounger by the side of the pool. We can't see a face as it's concealed by a script called 'The Towering Inferno'. 

EXT. MOONIE'S HOUSE   YARD   DAY

Moonie is astride a vintage British Triumph motorcycle, still wearing the German uniform. 

As we CUT WIDE we reveal that a ramp has been erected leading straight toward his neighbor's fence.

Moonie puts the bike in gear, makes a wide circle, then throttles back and heads it toward the ramp.

EXT. MCQUEEN'S HOUSE   POOLSIDE   DAY

From McQueen's POV we see the motor cycle fly into view, just clearing the top of the fence. in SLOW MOTION it sails through the air, accompanied by the main theme from 'The Great Escape.'. 

It completes its triumphant arc, landing in the swimming pool with a roar and a hiss of bubbling water and oil. There's a pause before Moonie's grinning face breaks the surface.

MOONIE: The Great Escape, Steve, one of your finest.

INT. MOONIE'S HOUSE    KTICHEN    DAY

Dougal gets himself a beer from the ice box. Moonie sits at the kitchen table, rolling himself a joint. He's in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt.

MOONIE: I thought he'd be amused. I was paying homage to the prick! I thought we'd crack a few Coors and talk motorbikes. There's nothing to eat in the house, where have you been? [The irony is that Moonie is offended that McQueen didn't think the stunt was funny. Also, the concerns of an average person - the cost, the embarrassment - doesn't seem to faze him.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I felt the bittersweetness of the British irony.  I empathized with what Moon wanted (connection) yet abhorred his actions (destructive).

Full Moon (unproduced)(1/31/97, 3rd draft)
by Dick Clement & Ian la Frenais 

* You may not know the names, but you've probably seen their tv/film work (full list here). 

**The story goes that their trademark British humor was so well regarded that they were brought in to punch up the humor on The Rock (1996) before actor Sean Connery would sign on:

Instead, they [Clement and la Frenais] needed to go in and add more humour, and to make the character of John Mason more British. If anything, more Bond. The lack of Britishness had been one of Connery’s key objections to the original screenplay, and it needed addressing. They got to work, and they concentrated on fleshing the character of Mason out. One example contribution is a conversation at the end of the film’s second act, where Connery’s Mason explains, “I was special services. Military intelligence. They taught me to be a killer. In retrospect, I’d sooner have been a poet or a farmer. Which I consider infinitely more honourable professions.” 

TODAY'S NUGGET: It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988) - Don't Be Afraid of Longer Character Descriptions in a Comedy

[Quick Summary: After two complete opposites are paired up on the neighborhood watch, they have to pull together to deal with dead bodies and a drug cartel.]

I was attracted to this script because of its original title, "Househusbands."  Unfortunately, the story didn't stick with me for long afterwards.*

However, I did like how the writers characterized the characters so you'll remember them. They're descriptive and fun to read, and carry the point without forcing it.  

Most importantly, I felt something when I read them.  

For example:

1) This character seems to shout "Stay away!"

ex. "Duncan is an extremely cheap looking girl, about twenty. Her hair is ratted; clothes black leather. Lipstick the color of exposed lung-tissue. Eye makeup...not even Stephen King has the balls to write about. Lewd knuckle tattoos, mantlepiece breasts and hickeys all over her neck and chest.  Right now, she has the passenger visor down and is analyzing Dale's reflection on the clip-on mirror."

2) This character seems to have secrets beneath the surface. 

ex. "Otto almost smiles. His eighty rounds per second sense of humor working." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Fun is key in comedies, so don't be afraid to give character descriptions more space on the page if you need it.  

I have a bad habit of short changing the descriptions, favoring utility over a fully rounded character. I need to remember that some characters just need more space.

It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988)(8/16/88 1st draft)
by Thomas Szollosi and Richard Christian Matheson

*I haven't seen the finished film, but it seems to be very different than this first draft.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: State of Play (2009) - Multiple Causes of Urgency Within a Scene

[Quick Summary: A journalist (whose college friend is now a current Congressman) investigates the suspicious death of the Congressman's mistress.]

Continual threats to life and limb gets exhausting after awhile in thrillers. 

Thus, I was interested to see what else today's script would do differently. It's not a perfect script,* but I liked that there was creative use of urgency.

For example, the scene below has layers.  It's not just about Cal escaping the elevator, but that he's found the killer and needs to let someone know.

Just prior to this scene:
- Cal has a photo of the killer, Bingham, and traces it back to the latter's apartment.
- Cal recognizes Bingham at the door and they briefly exchange pleasantries. 
- Cal backs off and gets in the elevator.
- Also note: This is a turning point scene that occurs on p. 79 of 125, not earlier at the midpoint, nor later at the climax.

INT. COMPLEX ELEVATOR -- NIGHT

CAL with the phone. Doors closing and...Signal loss. 

CAL: Shit!

CAL descending. 5...4...3...  Chunk.

It has stopped. Everything suddenly black. then, a moment later, an emergency light powers on. But the car isn't moving.

CAL trapped. Coincidence? Can't be. Fuck...

Pulling his phone -- saving it around the car -- searching for a signal -- there, up by the ceiling, a flicker.

CAL (PHONE)(CONT'D): Jimmy. Cal McAffrey...just tell Bell I've found the killer. Five-sixty-six, Jasper Avenue. Five-six-six Jasper! I need cops. I need cops here immediately!

CAL perched on the railing -- wedged near the ceiling -- bent like a contortionist to hang with the signal and --

THE ELEVATOR jolts! -- power on -- CAL falling hard to the floor -- barely catching his breath as the elevator drops a few feet before stopping suddenly and -- 

THE DOORS OPEN TO

INT. COMPLEX LOBBY -- DAY

An empty lobby. CAL steps out cautiously. Did Bingham take the stairs? 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that this wasn't the run-of-the-mill "I must escape" type of urgency.  There's a different purpose and consequences if Cal fails. 

State of Play (2009)(11/1/07 draft with revisions)
by Matthew Michael Carnahan
Revisions by Tony Gilroy, Peter Morgan, Billy Ray
Based on the BBC miniseries created by Paul Abbott

* I was confused by the ending on the page. I think it was trying to connect a lot of dots in a short period of time.  I note that this film was an adaptation of a BBC tv mini-series that ran 6 episodes, so perhaps it was trying to condense too much into a 2 hr. film?

TODAY'S NUGGET: Duplicity (2009) - Why Do I Believe the Chemistry (& Fireworks) Between These Characters?

[Quick Summary: Two industrial spies, who are in a secret love affair, are on opposite sides of a case.]

Tony Gilroy writes scripts that actors want to play. 

Why? One reason is because the chemistry between characters has real conflict and interesting dynamics.  I want to see how these fireworks resolve.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Ray is being followed.
- His work buddy, Dale, is watching his back. They're on the phone together, trying to figure out  who is following Ray.
- In Grand Central Station, Ray recognizes Claire. He follows her into a store.
- Notice how FAST the writer gets us into the action. Ray blows by the usual "hi how are you" --> straight into his beef with Claire. 
- The audience sees Ray's behavior and realizes (without being told) that Ray and Claire know each other. Only someone familiar would bypass the usual greetings.
- Also: the suspense draws me in (WHY is he so mad?).
- Also: the provocative, snappy dialogue keeps me reading ("You charm me. Seduce me. Screw me.")

INT. SAKS FIFTH AVENUE -- DAY

... CLAIRE blinks. But she's a big girl. It's a public place...

CLAIRE: Look, seriously, I don't know you think I am, but wh-

RAY: You charm me. Seduce me. Screw me. Then you dope me and ransack my hotel room. (he still can't believe it) And how sick is this? Last thing I remember before I passed out whs how much I liked you.

CLAIRE: I'm sorry...I just...you don't look crazy, which is the only reason I'm not screaming for a security guard, but --

RAY: I can't believe you're going this way. 

CLAIRE: Is this...(glancing around) ...it's a joke, right?

RAY: You have any idea how far my ass was hanging out because of you?

CLAIRE: Is this? Are you selling something? What are you selling?

RAY: I got up the next morning, went back to the consulate and practically crawled over glass to get a copy of the guest list. Then I spent the next twenty-four hours trying to figure out if you were working for MOSSAD, the Syrians, or the Russians.

CLAIRE: Really...(maybe he is crazy) And who was it?

RAY: Still working for the C.I.A.? (like he nailed her) We're supposed to be on the same side, Theresa. Which was a lousy cover name for you, by the way -- you're not a THeresa. 

CLAIRE: What the hell are you talking about?

RAY: American Consulate. Dubai. You and me. Fourth of July, 2003.

CLAIRE: You are crazy (Does this ever work?)

RAY: We were drinking red, white and blue Margaritas. I had a knee brace. You had a toe ring -- first toe ring I ever saw, by the way.

CLAIRE: If you follow me, I'll scream.

And she's walking -- fast -- back the way she came -- back into the Perfume Jungle, and he's right on her ass --

...RAY: Come on... you don't want security any more than I do.

CLAIRE: You're right, I want the cops.

RAY: They're gonna want your name.

CLAIRE: Leave me alone! (wheeling on him and --)

HER PURSE -- the strap catching his arm -- tearing -- THE BAG SPILLING OPEN TO THE FLOOR and --

CLAIRE: -- look -- look what you did! --

CLAIRE dropping -- grabbing at the stuff that's spilled --

CLAIRE: --get away -- just -- you hear me? --

RAY: Oh no...

And the way he said it -- the way he looks -- something fundamental has shifted here suddenly --

RAY: You?

There -- at his feet -- her keys -- a KEYCHAIN -- a little Rubik's cube (Eight ball? Troll?) keychain and --

RAY: You? You're the drop...(pulling an identical keychain from his pocket --) I'm ...

CLAIRE: You? You're the meet? (yup) No... 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I believed the chemistry because they're both continuing to engage in the fight, trying to get what they want, even though something isn't adding up. Ray wants answers and Claire wants to avoid him. 

Duplicity (2009)(undated)
by Tony Gilroy

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) - The Devil IS in the Details (Twist)

[Quick Summary: Bourne, a guy on the run with amnesia, goes back to his roots to find out how he became an assassin.]

Though the Bourne films varied for me,* all the scripts are good to excellent.  

I admire the writers for continuing to find ways to create new obstacles for Bourne.   It's tough to surprise today's audiences, who are often wise to genre tropes.  

Thrillers have a lot of fast paced action, but I'm always impressed when there's a twist that relies more on brains than brawn. 

For example, today's script had a small, clever detail that snuck by me. 

Yes, it's a small, but the devil IS in the details, isn't it?

EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE -- LATE AFTERNOON

Bourne exits from the subway. Bourne walks north.

INT. HUB

Wills pacing...Bourne's profile is up on Screen 2. It says "David Webb (AKA Jason Bourne)" on the profile.  A tech comes to Wills.

TECH: Sir, this may be nothing but, look at Bourne's birthday.

Wills looks at the profile. Bourne's birthdate is listed as 9/13/70.

WILLS: What about it?

TECH: Well, Landy told Bourne his birthday was 4/15/71 so...

Wills gets it instantly.

WILLS: Everything stops. (to the room now) EVERYTHING STOPS! LISTEN UP! (they're listening) New assignment. Numbers. Four.  Fifteen. Seventy-one. What do they mean?

Wills grabs his headset --

EXT. CRASH SITE -- DAY

A CRI agent approaches Vosen.

CRI AGENT: Landy gave Bourne a false birthday. Wills thinks it's a code. 

It sinks in for Vosen...oh...shit... 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked this twist because it relied on observation, not having superior gadgets. 

The Bourne Identity (2007)(final shooting script, 7/20/2007)
by Tony Gilroy and Scott Z. Burns and George Nolfi
Story by Tony Gilroy
Based on the novels by Robert Ludlum and Universal's "The Bourne Identity" and "The Bourne Ultimatum"

* How I ranked the Bourne films:
- Bourne Identity: It's the freshest and most original.
- Bourne Supremacy: I wanted to see what happened to Marie.  
- Bourne Utlimatum: I'd lost patience with the "guy on the run with amnesia."   

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Bourne Supremacy (2007) - How to Ratchet Up Tension? Don't Forget the EXIT

[Quick Summary: Bourne and Marie are on the run once again.]

There are a lot of articles on how to INCREASE tension, but fewer on how to EXIT. 

Is the exit important? Yes, because tension relies on emotions rising and falling.  If it stayed high at all times, it would be very exhausting and also boring.

In these Bourne films, I like the exits because they demonstrate the necessity of the emotional release before the next round of tension. 

For example, in the scene below:
- The CIA is chasing Bourne.  
- Bourne is starting to remember things and who he is.
- Bourne calls the CIA for a meeting because he "wants to come in." 
- Bourne demands the CIA send in Nicky, someone he trusts.
- Nicky is a psychologist who helped Bourne with his meds and psychology on his last mission. 
- When they meet, Bourne demands Nicky confirm things in his file. 
- The scene exits with a show of mercy and emotional self-control.
- The exit lets the tension out, but also leaves us with more questions.
- Because there's a reprieve, we're ready for the next round of tension.

INT. PARKING GARAGE -- DAY

...BOURNE: For Treadstone. In Berlin. You know my file. I did a job here. When?

NICKY: No. You never worked Berlin.

BOURNE: My first job.

NICKY: Your first assignment was Geneva.

BOURNE: That's a lie!

NICKY (emphatic): You never worked Berlin...

BOURNE raising the gun -- eyes gone dead -- oh, shit...

NICKY (CONT'D): No...Jason...please...

BOURNE: I was here!

NICKY: ...it's not in the file...I swear...I know your file...your first job was Geneva! ...I swear to God you never worked here!...

He's so ready to kill her. NICKY starting to cry -- hands over her face -- covering up -- bracing for the bullet she knows is coming --

BOURNE -- about to pull the trigger --

SUDDENLY

FLASHBACK! -- a moment -- a shard -- A WOMAN'S FACE -- backing away -- begging -- begging us -- begging the camera -- PLEADING FOR HER LIFE IN RUSSIAN -- this awful blur of desperation and panic -- fear -- too fast -- too panicked --

JAM BACK TO  

BOURNE swamped -- thrown -- hesitating --  [I particularly liked this line because it shows Bourne's growth, as well as emotional self-control.]

CLOSE ON NICKY 

Sobbing now -- when? -- finally looking out, and --

BOURNE IS GONE! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think how you exit a scene is as important as how you enter because they (the exits) are transitions to the next round of emotions. 

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)(9/17/03 draft, revised)
by Tony Gilroy and Brian Helgeland
Based on the novel by Robert Ludlum and the 2002 Universal Film "The Bourne Identity"

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Bourne Identity (2002) - In the Suspense Genre, Danger = Possibility of Failure

[Quick Summary: A man waking up with amnesia realizes that he's an assassin.] 

What is the difference between:
a) the Suspense genre and 
b) regular suspense that is found in all stories?

According to one Hitchcock quote, the Suspense genre is marked by danger, and I always find interesting in HOW various writers include it.  

For instance, writer Tony Gilroy brought fresh life to the tired suspense genre in the Bourne adaptations by making the audience feel the danger to the protagonist.

The scene below is from a first draft:
- The "Professor" is chasing Bourne and Marie. 
- Notice how your eye keeps moving because the stakes are high and there's a real possibility of failure. 
- Also notice that the tension lies in the maybes: Maybe Bourne will get caught and we'll never get answers. Or Marie will die and he'll lose connection to the world.

THE METRO PLATFORM

The PROFESSOR lands on the other side -- both racing down the platform -- PROFESSOR tearing up the wall behind them and -- HERE COMES  A TRAIN -- on BOURNE and MARIE's side -- traveling the opposite way -- temporary refuge.  Not for long -- there's no way out on this end of the platform. They skid to a halt -- just as --

THE TRAIN DOORS OPEN -- STARTLED STRAPHANGERS  stare at BOURNE and MARIE as they stop onto the platform -- take off running.

THE PROFESSOR has to turn his bike around. He's quick -- but it gives BOURNE and MARIE a two second head start.

BOURNE and MARIE almost at the other end of the platform -- gunfire ripping up the windows behind them. Gonna go for the steps -- be here come --

THE ANGRY COPS -- remember them? -- the ones who took the ride down the steps -- they're firing now and --

BOURNE and MARIE turn back -- the PROFESSOR is firing and there is only one option -- 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  What undergirds danger is the possibility of failure, which requires the push-pull of tension. 

I also think this story's frame work lends itself to suspense because it's the ultimate life or death situation, survival of the fittest. 

The Bourne Identity (2002)(9/20/00 Paris draft)
by Tony Gilroy and William Blake Herron
Based on the novel by Robert Ludlum 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Proof of Life (2000) - One Way to Express Jeopardy (Hope-Fear-Hope-Fear)

[Quick Summary: In South America, an American wife hires a negotiator to arrange for the release of her husband, an engineer who was kidnapped.]

Q: How do you make the audience feel for the protagonist in an action thriller?
A: Danger and personal stakes are well worn tropes.

Q: But I have a dangerous situation in my script and it doesn't work. Why?
A: Perhaps there isn't enough jeopardy, i.e., the possibility that the protagonist could lose.

Q: Could you give me a good example of this see-sawing feeling?
A: I think Tony Gilroy scripts do a great job of making the audience feel they're constantly on the back foot and never assured of success.

For example, today's script stacks the deck against us:
- It is set in a foreign location where language and culture are barriers.  
- A crime (kidnapping) has occurred to Alice's husband, a civil engineer.   
- Alice has no experience with terrorists.
- Her only hope is Terry is a hardened, experienced negotiator, who at one point, walks away from helping her.
- A more specific example is the scene below, which happens early in the script to start us realizing that  the margin of error is very thin in Terry's job.
- Here, Terry has just made the trade for the hostage, Lenoir.
- Notice how the hope-fear-hope-fear that doesn't let the reader off the hook easily.
- Also notice that how this scene establishes Terry's ability and credibility.

 

TERRY'S JEEP -- THE LOCAL DRIVER -- stuck in the mud -- panic making it worse - -just finding traction as TRACER ROUNDS tear into him and --

THE TWO CHECHEN TANKS searching for targets --

TERRY still coming -- waving a sidearm at THE CHOPPER PILOT -- "don't move!" -- dragging LENOIR in under the rotors -- [We are hoping Terry will succeed.]

A RUSSIAN JEEP EXPLODING behind them and --

INSIDE THE CHOPPER  -- total chaos -- LENOIR scrambling in -- THE PILOT SCREAMING IN SLAVIC -- he's freaking out -- pulling up already -- too soon because -- [Fear: Oh no! Don't go!]

TERRY hasn't cleared the threshold -- tossed back -- head slammed against the door as he falls -- rocked -- grabbing at the doorframe -- hanging there! -- nothing but instinct keeping him from falling and -- [Hope: He's hanging in there.]

THE GROUND pulling away and --

LENOIR reaching for TERRY -- trying -- but THE PILOT -- there's something wrong -- something new -- no time -- suddenly he's jerking the stick and --

THE CHOPPER spilling sharply to one side and --

TERRY falling -- falling into the cockpit and -- [Fear: Oh noooo!]

WHOOOOOSK! -- AN ANTI-TANK ROCKET -- a blur -- already on them -- already past -- they've been hit! -- creased -- A LANDING SKID torn away from the undercarriage! -- the helicopter tilting -- overreacting -- stalling -- for a moment it looks like they're beating it in and -- 

THE PILOT fighting to keep it up -- CURSING AND SPUTTERING IN SLOVAK -- LENOIR rolling on the floor in pain -- his bandaged hand crushed in the turbulence and --  [Lots more fear.  This will not end well.]

FINALLY TO

TERRY pulling himself into a window seat. He's dazed. Looking down as the earth begins to pull away. As the chopper starts to level off.   [Whew! Hope.  Leveling off is good.]

TERRY wiping at the blood from a deep cut above his eye. Wiping it away so he can see. Trying to get a grip. To focus. Something. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For that gut wrenching feeling, discomfort and the possibility of not succeeding must reign.

Proof of Life (2000)(7/6/99 draft)
by Tony Gilroy 

TODAY'S NUGGETS: Armaggedon (1998) - Why THIS Guy?

[Quick Summary: A team of drillers are recruited to help stop an asteroid that threatens the earth.]

This story is preposterous, i.e., that a driller would end up as an astronaut.

So why THIS guy?  Why does Harry, an oil driller, need to be the protagonist?

I liked that this script is clear why: Harry is the only guy who knows how to operate the equipment, which will be required to blow up the asteroid.

The writers did a nice job of explaining this through introducing some conflict (we are now learning NASA had stolen Harry's prototype):

INT. NASA/HALLWAY -- ONE MINUTE LATER

Harry and Grace -- both in shock -- walk downstairs behind Truman, Quincy and A SMALL MILITARY ESCORT.

TRUMAN: We want to land on the asteroid, drill a hole, drop in some nukes, take off and detonate, having the pieces slide past us. Except we have an equipment problem.

QUINCY: The drilling unit is part of a lunar project we've been working on for the past three years. The recent discovery of water on the moon wa--

A DOOR. TWO ARMED GUARDS open up and step aside --

INT. NASA R&D HANGAR -- SAME TIME       OMITTED

TECHNICIANS standing beside a huge gurney. Stretched across, A LARGE ROBOTIC DRILLING ARM -- complex machinery and gears and Teflon cables. Harry's jaw tightening as he circles the thing. Harry is in shock -- .

QUINCY (nervously): You may recognize the rig...

HARRY (utterly confused): It's tough not to recognize something you spent five years designing --

QUINCY: Yes, we were planning on sending this to the moon and--

HARRY: What, you got a key to the Patent Office?

TRUMAN: Basically. You see, that's why you're here.

HARRY: What I see, is that you ripped me off and now I'm pissed.

QUINCY: We prefer the term borrowed...But actually, ostensibly, the boundaries of patent laws only apply to Earth, not outer space.

TRUMAN: Shut up, Ron.

HARRY: Are you kidding me?! I got dragged into this because you "borrowed from me" and by the say did a shit job of putting it together?

TRUMAN: So what's wrong with it? You said we'd done a bad job putting it together.  

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Introducing conflict is one way to sneak in exposition without it feeling like an information dump.

Armaggedon (1998)(8/14/97 draft)
by Jonathan Hensleigh, rev. by Tony Gilroy and JJ Abrams

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Devil's Advocate (1997) - A Great Writer is Inventive in Getting the Audience into the Character

[Quick Summary: A defense lawyer makes a deal with the devil to defend him.]

I think what sets a good writer apart from a great writer is inventiveness.  

I particularly look for unusual visual (which is often called "cinematic") ways into characters that we've not seen before. 

For example, this script presents who the Milton character is in one startling image: 

INT. CATHOLIC CHURCH - DAY

Milton down below. Lowering a single finger into the holy water. Instantly -- it's boiling and we --

                                         HARD CUT TO; 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think this image is quite inventive because it's arresting and also makes me more curious about what's the character will do next. 

The Devil's Advocate (1997)(1/18/97 shooting script)
by Jonathan Lemkin and Tony Gilroy
Based on the novel by Andrew Neiderman
 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Cutting Edge (1992) - A Strong Voice + Economy of Writing (Clarity, Pacing, What the Characters Want)

[Quick Summary: When a female skater loses her skating partner, she and a hockey player team up as a doubles pair for the next Olympics.]

Q: What is "voice"?
A: "Voice" can be defined as "how a writer tells a story that is unique to him/her." 

Q: Is voice truly evident on the page? That is, that a particular writer wrote a script?
A:  Sometimes.  It's not just a point of view, but HOW the writer leads you through the story.

Q: What is a good example of a strong voice?
A: One of the strongest voices I've seen is writer Tony Gilroy, whose scripts I'll be posting about in the upcoming weeks (both original and rewrite jobs).*

Q: What is it about Gilroy's voice that is so evident? 
A: I think one would hire Gilroy because you like the way he tells a story. I like the way he balances tone in the dramas and action thrillers that he's known for. 

He has distinct brisk pacing, a way of getting into the story fast, and sustaining suspense, all while being very clear about what the characters want.  

Today's script is an unusual one: 
- It's Gilroy's first produced film credit as a writer.
- It is also sort of a sports/romance/action story to boot.
- Though this is a younger Gilroy script, it has all his trademark pacing and clarity.

In the scene below: 
- It is the1988 Calgary Olympics.
- There is a simplicity of two athletes of very different temperaments on a collision course.
- We are clear what each wants: to win.
- Note the economy of writing.  In a very few words, we feel the urgency of the moment, yet the Doug and Kate's mutual annoyance of encountering an obstacle.  

INT. THE BOWELS OF THE SADDLEDOME

An empty passageway. DOUG is lost. Sweating. Cursing. Charging blindly ahead. From above, the MUFFLED ROAR of the crowd. If he could claw his way up to the ice he'd do it.

                                                                           CUT TO:

A DIFFERENT PASSAGEWAY

KATE striding ahead -- rounding a corner  and -- SMACK! -- right into DOUG -- a head-on collision and it's no contest -- KATE sent flying on her ass --.

DOUG (barely stopping): -- Does this go up to the ice?

KATE stares at him, incredulous. "THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER" begins to play in the distance.

DOUG: Is this the way to the ice?

KATE (still sitting there): Why you barbarian jerk -- is that all you have to say?

Screw this, DOUG is already several steps away and moving. 

KATE: Where were you raised, in a barnyard?

DOUG stops mid-stride. This kind of shit demands at least a moment of his time.

DOUG: Honey, where I'm from we stand for the National Anthem.

Now he's gone. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was impressed by how much takes place in such little space on the page.  It takes a lot of drafts to hone a script to get it into this shape. 

The Cutting Edge (1992)(4/15/90 draft)
by Tony Gilroy 

*Interestingly enough, the only other writer who had this strong of a voice (i.e., I could spot his invisible fingerprints on the page) is the legendary writer,  William Goldman, who was one of Gilroy's mentors. 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Sherlock Holmes (2009) - Why "Vari-Speed" Tells Us About Character

[Quick Summary: Holmes and sidekick Dr. Watson are on the trail of an enemy that wants to destroy England.

I wasn't surprised that this script was tailored to its director Guy Ritchie, who favors cinematic techniques like swish pans, slow motion, etc.

I was surprised to see how the writers included these techniques on the page, ex. "vari-speed" in the scene below. 

I think it works because it shows the speed of Holmes' thoughts. In other words, "vari-speed" is about character, not just a cool technique. 

INT. CATHEDRAL CRYPTS - ENTRANCE - NIGHT 

 ...We see Holmes' eyes from the shadows, as he lowers his jacket and thinks through his plan of attack.

HOLMES (V.O.): Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in right ear. FIrst point of attack.

PRE-VISUALIZATION IN VARI-SPEED

FOCUS ON the spot behind the man's right ear, just at the top of the jaw -- the most vulnerable point. Holmes launches a hammer blow, and we ramp from 24 fps to 00 fps (ULTRA SLOW MOTIONS) as he makes contact. The man's head is thrown back as he spins round.

HOLMES (V.O.): Then throat, paralyze vocal chords, stop screaming.

BACK TO 24 fps. The man's mouth opens to cry out. we RAMP BACK UP TO 400 fps as his Adam's Apple is struck with a precision karate chop, strangling his scream.

HOLMES (V.O.): Stink of alcohol, heavy drinker -- knuckles to liver.

BACK TO 24 fps, RAMPING TO 400 fps as a devastating knuckle-punch to the liver doubles up the bowler-hatted thug and crumples him to his knees.

SECOND-TIME ACTION - SUPER FAST REPEAT OF ABOVE

Holmes flashes out of the shadows, moving so fast that we can barely see what he's doing.

THWACK! Hammer blow to ear.
CRACK! Karate chop to throat.
WHAP! Knuckle punch to liver.

BACK TO NORMAL MOTION as the man crumples to the ground, Holmes takes his bowler hat from his head and flips it onto his own in one super fast move.

Holmes drags the battered man into the shadows, lifts his lantern and proceeds down the spiral staircase. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Beware using a cool technique without linking it to character. One works. The other will come off flat.

Sherlock Holmes (2009)(9/29/08 draft)
by Michael Robert Johnson and Anthony Peckham and Simon Kinberg

Story by Lionel Wigram and Michael Robert Johnson

TODAY'S NUGGET: Spartacus (1960) - "What is Going on in Each Scene? What's the Most Interesting Way to Play It?"

[Quick Summary: In ancient Rome, Spartacus leads of revolt of gladiatorial slaves in a fight for freedom.]

THREE INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT THIS FILM: 

1) After Paths of Glory (1957), star Kirk Douglas teamed up again with director Stanley Kubrick on Spartacus (1960), one of the most expensive films of its time. 

2) Writer Dalton Trumbo did not like how the POV was rewritten because it shrunk his larger scale to a smaller scale (his"Two Conflicting POV" report here). 

3) Director Stanley Kubrick observed:

The making of any film, whatever the historical setting or the size of the sets, has to be approached in much the same way. You have to figure out what is going on in each scene and whats the most interesting way to play it. With Spartacus, whether a scene had hundreds of people in the background or whether it was against a wall, I thought of everything first as if there was nothing back there. Once it was rehearsed, we worked out the background.  (my bolding)

A good example of this is the death of a gladitorial slave, in the scene below:
- Marcus Crassus is a general and politician who is hungry for power.
- Crassus is with his friend Glabrus, who is getting married to Claudia.  
- They have come to the gladitorial school to purchase a private gladitorial fight, in honor of the upcoming wedding. 
- Batiatus is the owner of the gladiator school.
- Slaves were often paired off to fight each other, sometimes to the death.  
- Here, Spartacus and Draba are paired up. 
- Draba has a trident and net. He subdues Spartacus, then spares him.  
- Draba heads for the those that purchased him, as vengeance. 
- What is going on in this scene? It explains what is at stake for slaves if they do not resist and revolt. It also shows how unyielding Crassus is.
- What is the most interesting way to play it? Draba's death is very dramatic and involves the bad guy, Crassus.  In the background, the guards' actions emphasize the main action.

FULL SHOT - FIELD AND GALLERY

Draba has reached the fence. There a guard tries to intercept him. Draba skewers him and flings his body away as if scattering trash. He climbs the fence, lunges upward into the gallery and toward the box. Other guards are not closing in from all directions. As Draba leaps toward the box, the first guard gets within throwing distance. He hurls his heavy pilum at Draba. The eighteen inches of steel imbeds itself in the gladiator's ebony body, but still he plunges upward, his trident in position to throw, his eyes on his deadly enemies in the box. A second pilum finds its mark, but already Draba has groped his way almost to the box, the spears dragging from the body.

FLASH SHOT - ARENA - SPARTACUS

stupefied, staring, just extricating himself from the net.  

FLASH SHOT - THE BOX

Batiatus hides behind it. Glabrus leaps in alarm to his feet. Crassus moves not a muscle. Chill as steel, utterly fascinated by the possibilities, he watches the approach of Draba. Claudia, trying to get out o the box, stumbles, falls and SCREAMS.

ANOTHER ANGLE - INCLUDING BOX AND DRABA

Guards rushing UP on him in b.g. Draba, the two spears still sticking in his back, makes a final lunge. His hands grasp the edge of the box. His eyes glare up at the occupants, fierce and horrible and lost. Crassus, in the meanwhile, has slowly risen. Calmly, he slips a tiny bejeweled dagger from his belt. And then, as Draba's great arms reach out to seize him, he bends forward between those terrible arms (exactly as a bullfighter risks life by bending forward between the horns for the death thrust) and deftly inserts the knife into Draba's spinal cord just above the shoulder-line. Even before the knife is withdrawn, Draba is dead. The effect is instantaneous (again as in a bullfight when a member of the corrida severs the spinal counterpart of a wounded and dying bull.) The great African, like his counterpart the bull, curls convulsively into the birth position his head forward between his arms, his knees drawn upward -- but he was dead before the reflex action of death was made visible.  

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I realized that I often skip the importance of nailing "What's going on in each scene?" because I'm more worried about "What's the most interesting way to play it?"

Spartacus (1960)(1/16/59 final draft, revised)
by Dalton Trumbo
Based on the novel by Howard Fast
 

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Paths of Glory (1957) - A Villain's "I'm Not Sorry at All" Final Speech

[Quick Summary: During a court martial, a French colonel defends his regiment over refusing to shoot at fellow French officers in a suicide mission that was ordered by a General.]

Every villain doesn't think he's a villain.  He thinks he's justified for what he's done.

This script does a great job of exploring how a villain thinks, and ends in a great summation speech at the end (below).

In this scene:
- Gen. Rousseau called for the suicide mission.
- Col. Dax is a lawyer who was drafted into the war.
- The "guilty" regiment was ordered to choose a few soldiers to be punished for the whole regiment. They were to be shot with a firing squad.
- After the soldiers were absolved, Rousseau and Dax walk together.
- Note how Rousseau's musings show that he's thoughtful, but not particularly moral. He rationalizes away what he has done.  

EXT. VARIOUS ANGLES - PARADE GROUND

...They walk along in a friendly silence.

GEN. ROUSSEAU (expansively): Which one of us was on the side of the angels, I wonder.

COL. DAX: I'm not sure I follow you, sir.

GEN. ROUSSEAU: Well, take, for instance, the case of the early Christians. What was it, perhaps more than anything else, that strengthened and solidified them? -- persecution, wouldn't you say? The cruelest kind of injustice. Tyranny gave birth to the Manga Carta. Callousness and indifference to human welfare brought about the French Republic. And so on through History. It may be that progress comes really through a kind of challenge. And who is to say that if those men had been shot today, that it wouldn't have been a step towards the end of a certain kind of despotism in the army?

COL. DAX: General, you have a very strange theory there. I am not at all sure that I agree with you. 

GEN. ROUSSEAU: I'm not at all sure I agree with myself. You know, perhaps when they say man is a rational animal, what they really mean is that he has a limitless ability to rationalize, to make excuses for himself, to feel self-righteous no matter what he does. I don't know why I'm rambling on like this. Probably because there's nothing left for me to do but talk. You know, Colonel, I am undoubtedly a very wicked man - but I don't feel wicked inside. Though, I suppose that's  a prerequisite for being labeled truly wicked. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I thought these last two lines were particularly chilling because Rousseau is rational yet has lost a moral center. 

The Paths of Glory (1957)(undated draft)
by Stanley Kubrick and Jim Thompson 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mindhunters (2004) - How to Make an Information Dump More Interesting to Watch (Clarity of Purpose)

[Quick Summary: After a group of FBI trainees are dropped off on a deserted island for a weekend training exercise, one of them starts killing them off, one by one.]

I thought this script did a great job of bringing the audience into the psychological game that's being played.  How did the writers do it?

They had to find a way to quickly get into the minds of the trainees, explain how they think (essentially an information dump), yet maintain a brisk pacing. 

The writers knew that the most traditional and efficient way to do this is through interviews of the trainees.  Their new addition here was using new technology.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Harris, the FBI trainer, has brought the trainees to an isolated island for training.
- Someone has a beef with all of them. Weird things start to happen.
- Sara, one of the trainees, goes looking for information and finds a laptop with her fellow trainees' initial interviews.  
- Notice that this is an information dump, but a necessary and efficient one. 
- The interview is a tried-and-true technique, but the writers used a more modern tool here to do so (the laptop). 
- Also, Sara is seeking clues, so the interviews feel more like answers to her questions vs. telling the audience information. 

INT. THE DORM ROOMS -- MOMENTS LATER

...Sara's eyes SWING to the LAPTOP on J.D's bed.

THE SCREEN

is filled with STAR-BURSTS - a SCREEN-SAVER program.

She presses the command button. The computer comes to life.

ON THE SCREEN -- J.D. APPEARS ON VIDEO TAPE

In the middle of an INTERVIEW.

J.D. (on tape): ...If there's one thing I've learned working for the Bureau, there's always a cause and effect. Even in the sickest criminal mind.

HARRIS (V.O.)(on tape): But do you want to crawl into that kind of mind?

ANGLE THE GROUP

as they stare at the laptop - dumbfounded.

J.D. (on tape): Do I want to? No. But will I? Yes.

ANGLE THE LAPTOP -- AS THE SCREEN

turns to SNOW

and ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

BOBBY (on tape): I'd be walking, just minding my own business, and a squad car would pull over. I used to carry a photo ID just to prove I lived in the neighborhood.

HARRIS (V.O.): Why Behavioral Science?

BOBBY (on tape): You're the best...

TIGHT ON BOBBY

BOBBY: That's my psych-eval interview...

ANGLE THE LAPTOP --

SNOW again...

ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

NICOLE (on tape): I was 11 years-old. I came home from school and mom was unconscious . The police took him away. It's the first time I remember feeling safe. We never heard from dad again...

ANOTHER ANGLE - LUCAS

LUCAS (on tape): I left medical school to join the Bureau because I thought I could be more effective on the front lines. (beat) What can I say? I'm an adrenaline junkie.

ANGLE - RAMON 

RAMON (on tape): Once I got a taste of homicide, there was no turning back. There's not a helluva lot more satisfying than seeing a killer brought to justice.

ANGLE - VINCE

VINCE (on tape): I was that kid. The one who knew everything there is to know about serial killers. I've always wanted to be a mindhunter. The accident hasn't changed that.

ANGLE - SARA

SARA (on tape): Her killer sent me letters from different mailing services for a year after we found the body. Told me everything he did to her. (beat) Every single thing.

TIGHT ON SARA

flushing crimson...

AND THE SCREEN FREEZES. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't particularly notice the information dump about other characters here because the scene had real clarity of purpose.  

That is, Sara was seeking answers, so watching her register new information was more interesting to watch than if I was told it.

Also, the laptop was cool updated tech to use in a film, but it didn't replace knowing the fundamentals of drama (re: how to convey information through interviews).

Mindhunters (2004)(12/17/00 revised draft)
by Wayne Kramer, revisions by Kevin Brodbin, Kario Salem

2026 OSCARS: Train Dreams (2025) - When Someone Becomes Important to You (Combination of Voice Over + Action)

[Quick Summary: The life of beauty and heartache of Robert Grainier, a logger and railroad worker.]

Q: What's this film about?
A: It's a quiet story about beauty of the world and the passage of time.  It's got a mood and atmosphere to it that's reflective, like a tone poem. 

Q: That sounds boring. What makes it so special to be nominated?
A: The writing sneaks up on you, and fits perfectly with a protagonist who doesn't say a whole lot, but feels things deeply and simply. 

For example, in the scene below:
- Robert lost his family early in life and was raised by foster parents.
- He experienced a lot of things, but has remained uninvolved and unconnected emotionally.
- Things changed when he meets his wife, Gladys.
- Suddenly something makes connection worthwhile and it changes him.
- This scene below is the first time he notices her, a moment of seismic importance.
- He is someone who is unused to communicating.
- Notice how the writers honed the writing to bring out the truthfulness of the moment, yet its simplicity.  They chose to use voice over + drop of the gaze, in order to give the latter more meaning. 

INT. METHODIST CHURCH - YEARS LATER

Grainier is in his early 30's, looking like a stray animal. Singing along to the hymns. It's a small church. Not more than two dozen in the congregation.

NARRATOR (V.O.): He felt that nothing much attracted his interest, until, that is, he met Gladys Olding.

He watches GLADYS, singing in the choir. Her voice stands apart to him.

But when she looks at him, he's too shy to hold her gaze. He looks down to his choir book. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm not a huge fan of voice over, but here, it's used well.  

It gives context to the drop of the gaze, i.e., Robert is shy, yet really wants to connect, which is unusual for him.     

Train Dreams (2025)(undated)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Based on the book by Denis Johnson

2026 OSCARS: Hamnet (2025) - Telling, Not Showing" is Effective When the Pressure is Too Much (Emotional Life)

[Quick Summary: After William Shakespeare marries the forest-loving Agnes, they grieve the death of their son Hamnet.]

This script has a typical story arc about healing a rift when tragedy happens: 

Will and Agnes meet, marry, and have kids --> Their son Hamnet dies and they grieve --> They are reunited through Will writing the play "Hamlet." 

One thing I really liked about the script is how it expresses small emotional moments that eventually pile up into a barrier of communication. 

I thought it was interesting that the writers did this by breaking the "show, not tell rule"* with the reverse, i.e.,"telling and not showing."  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Will has been very unhappy at his father's glove making business.
- He and Agnes are married and living at his parents' house.
- Agnes wakes up in the night. Will is not there. He's trying to write at night.
- She tries to comfort him, but he yells at her.
- Notice how the "telling and not showing" is to clarify indescribable feelings, or a short cut language.  To explain it on screen is unnecessary.

INT. HENLEY HOUSE - ATTIC - NIGHT

...Once Susanna stops fussing, Agnes comes back to Will. She gently touches the back of his neck, trying to sooth him. But he turns his head away, wiping any tears he may shed. He will never let her see him weak.

WILL (CONT'D): I'm sorry. I've had too much to drink.  

She takes his hand. He flinches.

WILL (CONT'D)(controls himself): Please. Not now.

AGNES: What are you afraid I will see?

WILL: I'm a violent, dangerous man.

He is holding all the emotions in. They are threatening to burst out of his chest and kill him. [I particularly like this description of something he can't express.]

AGNES: You are none of that. You're a good man, a good man. 

He puts his arm around her waist. He lets her rub her fingers through his hair, soothing him.

AGNES (CONT'D): Is it...are you..do you wish we had not...wed? Is that it?

He looks up at her, his face pained, aghast.

WILL: No. Never. How could you say such a thing? You and Susanna are all I live for. Nothing else matters.

AGNES: What is it, then?

WILL: ...I don't know. I'm lost. I have lost my way, Agnes. The landscapes you saw... (changes his mind) It's nothing. It's nothing.

She knows what he means. Those landscapes she saw haven't been realized, and it's torturing him. But he says no more after that. [Note this "breaks a screenwriting rule" that you shouldn't include anything that can't be seen.  I think it's very effective here to explain emotions that the characters don't have to explain to each other.]

AGNES: ...What can I do for you?

WILL: Nothing, my love. Nothing.

She is now at a complete loss. 

WILL (CONT'D): Please go back to sleep. I need to work. All is well. I just need to work.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think "telling, not showing" can be effective.  Here, it connects a lot of dots for the reader quickly for things that are unnecessary to belabor.

Hamnet (2025)(undated)
by Chloe Zhao & Maggie O'Farrell
Based on the novel by Maggie O'Farrell

*You know how I feel about the so-called "screenwriting rules." They're guidelines when you need help. They're not absolute.