[Quick Summary: After a day-trader gets hooked on a mind-enhancing drug, thugs and his boss come after him.]
Bad news - I so wanted to like this script.
But I wasn't keen on it, despite that there's solid writing and premise.
Good news - I did enjoy the double conflict scene on p. 16-17.
Eddie has just swallowed his first pill.
He encounters the ranting landlord's wife just as the pill kicks in.
There are 2 things happening at once:
1) Eddie grapples with new physical effects from the chemicals (internal conflict)
2) He has to disarm the shouting wife (external conflict)
Here's how the writer described it:
"The room is changing...springing into sharper focus.
EDDIE (V.O.): Everything had more definition...more dimensions...
There seems to be a little more light, too --he can see more clearly. The SOUND drops out for a moment; he can see VALERIE'S FACE, mouth contorted, continuing to heap the abuse, but there's something in her eyes that's not mean...something anxious.
EDDIE (V.O.): "I was blind, but now I see."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Two conflicts at once has a different texture than one.
As a writer, you need to know which texture will work the best.
Sometimes you need two. Sometimes you only need one.
by Leslie Dixon
Based on the novel The Dark Fields by Alan Glynn