[Quick Summary: In their last 30 days before they retire to Key West, a buddy cop duo try to track down a criminal who's eluded them.]
Cops outwitting other cops is not a new idea.
However, HOW it's done can set the writer apart, especially when it's done with great ingenuity and cleverness.
For example, in the scene below from today's script:
- Ray and Danny are goofball partners
- They're good cops, but don't always play by the rules.
- They say they're ready to retire, but they still have a streak of justice in them that makes them want to pursue a criminal from their past.
- I liked how they know the police rules yet find creative ways around them.
POLICE EVIDENCE ROOM - DAY
A police CLERK stands behind a wire cage that protects dozens of shelves and file cabinets of police evidence. Ray passes a sheaf of papers through the window.
CLERK: What the hell is this?
RAY: I dunno. Taking a load of coke to the chemist.
CLERK: All of it? Ten kilos of coke? That's a little unusual.
RAY: The damn lawyer is screaming his client was set up. You know the scam.
CLERK: I'd better check on this.
Ray wants to avoid that.
RAY: It's all in order. Everything's there in black and white.
CLERK: In this job you gotta cover your ass.
He picks up the phone and dials. Ray turns on the charm.
RAY: That's the point. You could possibly get my ass in trouble here... [Ray sets up the clerk's expectations here.]
The clerk doesn't mind that at all. He grins.
CLERK (into the phone): Captain Logan? I got Hughes here, with a request to check out all ten kilos of coke from the missionary bust.
INT. CAPTAIN LOGAN'S OFFICE - DAY
Danny is on the phone. Impersonating Captain Logan, he bellows.
DANNY: One guy? You can't hand twenty million dollars worth of evidence to one guy. Where's his asshole partner. [Misdirect away from the amount of coke to the fact that the officers have not followed protocol.]
INT. EVIDENCE ROOM - DAY
The clerk listens on the telephone.
CLERK: Yes sir... No way... Right sir.
He hangs up with a flourish and gloats at Ray.
CLERK: He says not to give you anything. Not until your partner shows.
INT. STAIRWELL - DAY
Danny runs down the stairs.
INT. POLICE EVIDENCE ROOM - DAY
Danny bursts through the door, out of breath.
DANNY: Hey, I just got my ass chewed by Logan. What gives?
The clerk is satisfied that he has demonstrated his power. [This also satisfies the clerk's suspicions that this transaction is unusual and someone should get in trouble.]
CLERK: Now you can check out the evidence. Sign these papers.
He goes back to the shelves. Danny and Ray share a grim smile.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: So much of what I really liked here is based on character, i.e., the clerk's own weakness for power is used against him.
Running Scared (1986)(6/28/85, 2nd draft, revised)
by Jimmy Huston
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