[Quick Summary: Five robbers dig an access tunnel from a boarding house basement to a casino's vault.]
I did not like this script,
I wish I did.
It tries to be outlandish
(I'd rather it be hid.)
I did like this description,
I hope you will agree.
"Dry-washing" gave me a picture
And peaked my curiosity.
ex. "I/E. MUNSON HOUSE - FOYER - DAY
As Mrs. Munson swings open the door.
G.H. Door stands on the stoop mournfully dry-washing his hands and obsequiously ducking his head."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If you're lucky enough to find that one great adjective, it can capture the whole scene.
The Ladykillers (2004)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Based on the 1955 movie, "The Ladykillers", by William Rose
Monday, October 5, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Intolerable Cruelty (2003) - Making A Talking Head Scene Interesting
[Quick Summary: Expert divorce attorney falls for an alluring serial divorcee.]
I scratched my head a little on this script.
The bad news is that I have no idea why it's not a screwball comedy (because it could've been).
The good news is:
- It reads incredibly fast.
- I was never bored.
- Even the "talking head" scenes between two characters are funny and interesting.
What's one secret to interesting talking head scenes?
Answer: Something else is happening simultaneously (which affects the conversation).
In the scene below, the lawyers (Miles, Ruth) are negotiating terms of a divorce.
At the same time, the clients (Marylin, Rex) are connecting. Is this a possible reconciliation? If so, it would affect the lawyers' negotiations.
ex. "MILES: Why only fifty percent, Ruth? Why not ask for a hundred percent?
RUTH: Oh brother. Here we go.
MILES: Why not a hundred and fifty percent?
RUTH: Yes. Maybe you're right, Miles. Maybe we're being too conservative. Seventy-five percent.
Rex winces. Rubs his stomach. Marylin leans forward and whispers to him.
MARYLIN: Do you need a Tagamet?
REX: You have some?
She removes a pack of the tablets from her purse, along with several vials of prescription drugs.
MARYLIN: These are yours....
She hands the pills to a grateful Rex. Their hands touch for a moment.
MARYLIN: Have you been taking your digestive enzymes?
REX (contrite): Sometimes I forget.
She looks at him like a concerned parent. Miles and Ruth watch the interaction.
MARYLIN (to the attorneys): I'm sorry. Where were we?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Talking head scenes are more interesting if something else is simultaneously going on that may/may not affect the talking heads.
Intolerable Cruelty (2003)(1st draft, 3/25/97)
Based on story by Robert Ramsey & Matthew Stone, John Romano
Screenplay by Robert Ramsey & Matthew Stone, Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
I scratched my head a little on this script.
The bad news is that I have no idea why it's not a screwball comedy (because it could've been).
The good news is:
- It reads incredibly fast.
- I was never bored.
- Even the "talking head" scenes between two characters are funny and interesting.
What's one secret to interesting talking head scenes?
Answer: Something else is happening simultaneously (which affects the conversation).
In the scene below, the lawyers (Miles, Ruth) are negotiating terms of a divorce.
At the same time, the clients (Marylin, Rex) are connecting. Is this a possible reconciliation? If so, it would affect the lawyers' negotiations.
ex. "MILES: Why only fifty percent, Ruth? Why not ask for a hundred percent?
RUTH: Oh brother. Here we go.
MILES: Why not a hundred and fifty percent?
RUTH: Yes. Maybe you're right, Miles. Maybe we're being too conservative. Seventy-five percent.
Rex winces. Rubs his stomach. Marylin leans forward and whispers to him.
MARYLIN: Do you need a Tagamet?
REX: You have some?
She removes a pack of the tablets from her purse, along with several vials of prescription drugs.
MARYLIN: These are yours....
She hands the pills to a grateful Rex. Their hands touch for a moment.
MARYLIN: Have you been taking your digestive enzymes?
REX (contrite): Sometimes I forget.
She looks at him like a concerned parent. Miles and Ruth watch the interaction.
MARYLIN (to the attorneys): I'm sorry. Where were we?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Talking head scenes are more interesting if something else is simultaneously going on that may/may not affect the talking heads.
Intolerable Cruelty (2003)(1st draft, 3/25/97)
Based on story by Robert Ramsey & Matthew Stone, John Romano
Screenplay by Robert Ramsey & Matthew Stone, Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Monday, September 21, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000) - Both Talking/Not Talking About One's Feelings
[Quick Summary: Three escaped convicts have four days to reach their buried treasure.]
I have two thoughts on this script:
1 - It has several great moments, but...well, the story eluded me.
Critic Roger Ebert put it more eloquently:
"The men head for the station, with Junior lagging.
PAPPY: Shake a leg, Junior! Thank God your mama died givin' birth - if she'd a seen ya she'd a died of shame..."
Note that:
- The words are colorful.
- AND they are funny.
- AND on the surface, they seem to project feelings on to a 3rd person (mama).
- BUT they are really about the speaker's feelings (Pappy).
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I find that Southern language is complex and sometimes contradictory because it's more INDIRECT.
ex. Pappy doesn't talk about his own feelings, while talking about his feelings.
O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
I have two thoughts on this script:
1 - It has several great moments, but...well, the story eluded me.
Critic Roger Ebert put it more eloquently:
I left the movie uncertain and unsatisfied....I had the sense of invention set adrift; of a series of bright ideas wondering why they had all been invited to the same film.2 - However, I did think this line of dialogue captures the complexity of the Southern language:
"The men head for the station, with Junior lagging.
PAPPY: Shake a leg, Junior! Thank God your mama died givin' birth - if she'd a seen ya she'd a died of shame..."
Note that:
- The words are colorful.
- AND they are funny.
- AND on the surface, they seem to project feelings on to a 3rd person (mama).
- BUT they are really about the speaker's feelings (Pappy).
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I find that Southern language is complex and sometimes contradictory because it's more INDIRECT.
ex. Pappy doesn't talk about his own feelings, while talking about his feelings.
O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Monday, September 14, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Big Lebowski (1998) - Gap Filling
[Quick Summary: The Dude, an inept courier, loses (and then locates) the ransom money for a kidnapping victim.]
Reading a Coens' script reminds me that I don't have to show every single moment.
The audience's mind will fill in the gaps.
For example:
Scene #1 (below): Brandt is a rich man's assistant and offers the Dude a job as a courier.
Scene #2 (below): The Dude tells his friends about it back at the bowling alley.
Question: Did he accept the job? How do we know?
"BRANDT: Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier once we get instructions for the money.
DUDE: Why me, man?
BRANDT: He suspects that the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you're in a unique position to confirm, or, uh, disconfirm that suspicion.
DUDE: So he thinks it's the carpet-pissers, huh?
BRANDT: Well Dude, we just don't know.
.... [At the bowling alley] BACK TO WALTER AND THE DUDE
They have been joined by Donny.
WALTER: Anyway. How much they offer you?
DUDE: Twenty grand. And of course I still keep the rug.
WALTER: Just for making the hand-off?
DUDE: Yeah.
He slips a little black box out of his shirt pocket.
DUDE: ...They gave Dude a beeper, so whenever these guys call --"
Answer: Yes, he took the job. We know this because the Dude is acting like he has the job and we see that he has the beeper.
We don't need to see him actually taking the beeper. It is enough that he has it.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Jumps in time are ok. As long as there's a logical leap between scenes, the audience will be able to fill in the gaps.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Reading a Coens' script reminds me that I don't have to show every single moment.
The audience's mind will fill in the gaps.
For example:
Scene #1 (below): Brandt is a rich man's assistant and offers the Dude a job as a courier.
Scene #2 (below): The Dude tells his friends about it back at the bowling alley.
Question: Did he accept the job? How do we know?
"BRANDT: Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier once we get instructions for the money.
DUDE: Why me, man?
BRANDT: He suspects that the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you're in a unique position to confirm, or, uh, disconfirm that suspicion.
DUDE: So he thinks it's the carpet-pissers, huh?
BRANDT: Well Dude, we just don't know.
.... [At the bowling alley] BACK TO WALTER AND THE DUDE
They have been joined by Donny.
WALTER: Anyway. How much they offer you?
DUDE: Twenty grand. And of course I still keep the rug.
WALTER: Just for making the hand-off?
DUDE: Yeah.
He slips a little black box out of his shirt pocket.
DUDE: ...They gave Dude a beeper, so whenever these guys call --"
Answer: Yes, he took the job. We know this because the Dude is acting like he has the job and we see that he has the beeper.
We don't need to see him actually taking the beeper. It is enough that he has it.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Jumps in time are ok. As long as there's a logical leap between scenes, the audience will be able to fill in the gaps.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Monday, September 7, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Hudsucker Proxy (1994) - What Slapstick Looks Like on the Page
[Quick Summary: The Hudsucker Board hires a well meaning college graduate to run the company into the ground and drive down stock prices.]
This is what slapstick looks like on the page:
1) It will be longer than you think.
2) It needs to be more descriptive than you think (audience needs to see both actions & reactions).
ex. "Findlandsen raises his hand to look quizzically at Norville's handkerchief which he now holds himself, apparently having been given it during the handshake. [Action]
He hands it back to Norville.
NORVILLE: Thank you, sir...
He stuffs it nervouly into his outside breast pocket as Findlandsen stares at him. [Reaction] Mussburger stands watching him in the executive at-ease, hands dug into his pockets.
NORVILLE: ...I understand your concern about the down-ward you know, but I think you'll find under our strong new leadership...
As Norville's hand drops from his breast pocket the handkerchief, perhaps caught on his sleeve, whips out of the pocket and follows his hand down. [Action]
Findlandsen looks down and Norville follows his look, and stoops BELOW FRAME to retrieve the hanky. [Reaction]
Findlandsen leans quizzically forward and peers down at Norville, who continues, O.S. [Action]
NORVILLE (O.S.): We anticipate, in short order, an upward...
In rapid fire, Norville straightens up into -- crunch -- Findlandsen, whose head snaps back, eyes rolling, a hand pressed to his nose, drink sloshing [Reaction]; Norville, on hand pressed to the back of his own head and the other wildly waving his hanky for balance, takes a staggering step forward onto the toe of an elegantly-gowned MRS. FINDLANDSEN. [Action]
MRS. FINDLANDSEN: Ahhh!"[Reaction]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Slapstick takes a bit of time to describe on the page.
Don't freak out (like me) if there's not a whole lot of white space.
Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
This is what slapstick looks like on the page:
1) It will be longer than you think.
2) It needs to be more descriptive than you think (audience needs to see both actions & reactions).
ex. "Findlandsen raises his hand to look quizzically at Norville's handkerchief which he now holds himself, apparently having been given it during the handshake. [Action]
He hands it back to Norville.
NORVILLE: Thank you, sir...
He stuffs it nervouly into his outside breast pocket as Findlandsen stares at him. [Reaction] Mussburger stands watching him in the executive at-ease, hands dug into his pockets.
NORVILLE: ...I understand your concern about the down-ward you know, but I think you'll find under our strong new leadership...
As Norville's hand drops from his breast pocket the handkerchief, perhaps caught on his sleeve, whips out of the pocket and follows his hand down. [Action]
Findlandsen looks down and Norville follows his look, and stoops BELOW FRAME to retrieve the hanky. [Reaction]
Findlandsen leans quizzically forward and peers down at Norville, who continues, O.S. [Action]
NORVILLE (O.S.): We anticipate, in short order, an upward...
In rapid fire, Norville straightens up into -- crunch -- Findlandsen, whose head snaps back, eyes rolling, a hand pressed to his nose, drink sloshing [Reaction]; Norville, on hand pressed to the back of his own head and the other wildly waving his hanky for balance, takes a staggering step forward onto the toe of an elegantly-gowned MRS. FINDLANDSEN. [Action]
MRS. FINDLANDSEN: Ahhh!"[Reaction]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Slapstick takes a bit of time to describe on the page.
Don't freak out (like me) if there's not a whole lot of white space.
Hudsucker Proxy (1994)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Monday, August 31, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Barton Fink (1991) - Transitions = A Gradual Awareness
[Quick Summary: A budding NY playwright goes to Hollywood in the 1930s, and descends into a hellish nightmare.]
I understood this script, but I just didn't get it what it means. *
Is this story a dark comedy? Or horror? A dream? All? None?
I have no idea.
However, I did think there was an accurate portrayal of writer's block.
I particularly liked the segue from block to interaction with another person.
It's not a sudden transition, but a gradual awareness for Barton.
ex. "BACK TO BARTON
Looking down at the page.
CLOSE ON BARTON'S FEET
Swinging in the legwell.
One foot idly swings over to nudge a pair of nicely shined shoes from where they rest, under the secretary, into the legwell. [Transition starting here.]
We hear typing start.
THE PAGE
A new paragraph being started: "A large man..."
BARTON'S FEET
As he slides them into the shoes. [Second hint.]
THE PAGE
"A large man in tights..."
The typing stops.
BARTON
Looking quizzically at the page. What's wrong?
HIS FEET
Sliding back and forth - swimming - in his shoes, which are several sizes too large. [Third hint.]
We hear a knock at the door.
BARTON
He rises and answers the door.
Charlie stands smiling in the doorway, holding a pair of nicely shined shoes.
CHARLIE: I hope these are your shoes." [Full transition to next beat.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Transitioning the reader from one beat to the next starts much further back than you might realize.
Barton Fink (1991)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
* Some people hate the ambiguity; others like it.
I understood this script, but I just didn't get it what it means. *
Is this story a dark comedy? Or horror? A dream? All? None?
I have no idea.
However, I did think there was an accurate portrayal of writer's block.
I particularly liked the segue from block to interaction with another person.
It's not a sudden transition, but a gradual awareness for Barton.
ex. "BACK TO BARTON
Looking down at the page.
CLOSE ON BARTON'S FEET
Swinging in the legwell.
One foot idly swings over to nudge a pair of nicely shined shoes from where they rest, under the secretary, into the legwell. [Transition starting here.]
We hear typing start.
THE PAGE
A new paragraph being started: "A large man..."
BARTON'S FEET
As he slides them into the shoes. [Second hint.]
THE PAGE
"A large man in tights..."
The typing stops.
BARTON
Looking quizzically at the page. What's wrong?
HIS FEET
Sliding back and forth - swimming - in his shoes, which are several sizes too large. [Third hint.]
We hear a knock at the door.
BARTON
He rises and answers the door.
Charlie stands smiling in the doorway, holding a pair of nicely shined shoes.
CHARLIE: I hope these are your shoes." [Full transition to next beat.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Transitioning the reader from one beat to the next starts much further back than you might realize.
Barton Fink (1991)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
* Some people hate the ambiguity; others like it.
Monday, August 24, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Miller's Crossing (1990) - Messy is Good for Story
[Quick Summary: Adviser to a mob boss is caught between the boss and a competing boss.]
I have it on good authority (teachers, human resources) that Millenials, who grow up with instant internet answers, find it hard to adjust to the messiness of real life.
By "messiness of real life," I mean:
- Waiting
- Unanswered questions (AN answer isn't enough. They want THE correct answer.)
- No guarantees
- Making mistakes
However, it is this very messiness that makes life (and stories) real and interesting.
This script is full of messy decisions which is great for conflict.
In this scene below, Tom tries to get Verna to admit she did or did not shoot Rug.
She distracts him and the question is unanswered in favor of more romantic action.
This could've been a very formulaic cliffhanger, but notice how the writers bring out Tom's feelings for Verna and that they get in the way of his job.
ex. "He looks at her. She holds his gaze.
VERNA: You think I murdered someone. Come on, Tom, you know me a little.
TOM: Nobody knows anybody --not that well.
VERNA: You know or you wouldn't be here.
TOM: Not at all, sugar. I came to hear your side of the story --how horrible Rug was, how he goaded you into it, how he tried to shake you down --
VERNA: That's not why you came either.
He shrugs.
TOM: Tell me why I came.
Verna looks at him.
VERNA: The oldest reason there is.
TOM: There are friendlier places to drink.
VERNA: Why can't you admit it?
TOM: Admit what?
VERNA: Admit you don't like me seeing Lee because you're jealous. Admit it isn't all cool calculation with you --that you've got a heart --even i it's small and feeble and you can't remember the last time you used it.
TOM: If I'd known we were going to cast our feelings into words I'd have memorized the Song of Solomon.
Verna smiles."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Messy is good for story.
Miller's Crossing (1990)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
I have it on good authority (teachers, human resources) that Millenials, who grow up with instant internet answers, find it hard to adjust to the messiness of real life.
By "messiness of real life," I mean:
- Waiting
- Unanswered questions (AN answer isn't enough. They want THE correct answer.)
- No guarantees
- Making mistakes
However, it is this very messiness that makes life (and stories) real and interesting.
This script is full of messy decisions which is great for conflict.
In this scene below, Tom tries to get Verna to admit she did or did not shoot Rug.
She distracts him and the question is unanswered in favor of more romantic action.
This could've been a very formulaic cliffhanger, but notice how the writers bring out Tom's feelings for Verna and that they get in the way of his job.
ex. "He looks at her. She holds his gaze.
VERNA: You think I murdered someone. Come on, Tom, you know me a little.
TOM: Nobody knows anybody --not that well.
VERNA: You know or you wouldn't be here.
TOM: Not at all, sugar. I came to hear your side of the story --how horrible Rug was, how he goaded you into it, how he tried to shake you down --
VERNA: That's not why you came either.
He shrugs.
TOM: Tell me why I came.
Verna looks at him.
VERNA: The oldest reason there is.
TOM: There are friendlier places to drink.
VERNA: Why can't you admit it?
TOM: Admit what?
VERNA: Admit you don't like me seeing Lee because you're jealous. Admit it isn't all cool calculation with you --that you've got a heart --even i it's small and feeble and you can't remember the last time you used it.
TOM: If I'd known we were going to cast our feelings into words I'd have memorized the Song of Solomon.
Verna smiles."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Messy is good for story.
Miller's Crossing (1990)
by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
Monday, August 17, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Raising Arizona (1987) - Misunderstandings & Visual Gags
[Quick Summary: A felon kidnaps a baby for his wife, and it all falls apart.]
I liked this script because it isn't trying too hard to be clever or too polished.
I also liked that the Coens didn't shy from anything - visual gags, word gags, over the top characters, etc. - it was all fair game as long as it made them laugh.
Example 1: Misunderstanding
"MOSES: An' when they was no crawdad to be foun', we ate San'.
HI: You ate what?
MOSES (nodding): We ate San'.
HI: You ate sand?!
MOSES: Dass right..."
Example 2: Visual Gag
"All of the [five] babies have been replaced in the crib but not lying down: They are seated in a row, staring back at her, lined up against the far crib railing, like a small but distinguished panel on "Meet the Press."
Example 3: Transition to a Visual Gag
"Throughout the speech NATHAN stalks the room, working himself into a frenzy, furiously putting coffee cups onto coasters, generally cleaning up, hectoring the police, and swiping their feet off his furniture.
NATHAN:...Hell, that's your forte, trackin' down them microbes left by criminals'n commies'n shit! That's yer whole damn raison d'i&tre! No leads?! I want Nathan Jr. back, or whichever the hell one they took! He's out there somewhere! Somethin' leads to him! And anyone can find him know the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!!
A HOLE IN THE GROUND - DAY
Specifically, it is the hole in the muddy patch of earth that GALE and EVELLE climbed out of. "
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I chuckled at the picture of a hole in the ground. (That's how I knew the visual gag was properly setup.)
Raising Arizona (1987)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
I liked this script because it isn't trying too hard to be clever or too polished.
I also liked that the Coens didn't shy from anything - visual gags, word gags, over the top characters, etc. - it was all fair game as long as it made them laugh.
Example 1: Misunderstanding
"MOSES: An' when they was no crawdad to be foun', we ate San'.
HI: You ate what?
MOSES (nodding): We ate San'.
HI: You ate sand?!
MOSES: Dass right..."
Example 2: Visual Gag
"All of the [five] babies have been replaced in the crib but not lying down: They are seated in a row, staring back at her, lined up against the far crib railing, like a small but distinguished panel on "Meet the Press."
Example 3: Transition to a Visual Gag
"Throughout the speech NATHAN stalks the room, working himself into a frenzy, furiously putting coffee cups onto coasters, generally cleaning up, hectoring the police, and swiping their feet off his furniture.
NATHAN:...Hell, that's your forte, trackin' down them microbes left by criminals'n commies'n shit! That's yer whole damn raison d'i&tre! No leads?! I want Nathan Jr. back, or whichever the hell one they took! He's out there somewhere! Somethin' leads to him! And anyone can find him know the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!!
A HOLE IN THE GROUND - DAY
Specifically, it is the hole in the muddy patch of earth that GALE and EVELLE climbed out of. "
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I chuckled at the picture of a hole in the ground. (That's how I knew the visual gag was properly setup.)
Raising Arizona (1987)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Monday, August 10, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Blood Simple (1984) - How Not To Rely on Dialogue
[Quick Summary: A man hires a hitman to off his cheating wife and her lover, but it all goes awry.]
People like to quote movie lines as shorthand:
- "You can't handle the truth!" ---> You're avoiding things.
- "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." ---> I've got the upper hand.
- "Go ahead, make my day." ---> Don't cross me.
People also think that this is what writers do, i.e., come up with dialogue.
However, we writers know that it's the least important part.
The bulk of our job is to structure visuals and conflict (building the cake). The dialogue is the last part (frosting). Without the cake, the frosting falls.
This script does an excellent job of emphasizing visuals first.
Because of this, the dialogue has a greater impact.
In the example below, Marty has just hired Visser, a sleezy p.i., to off Marty's wife. Visser has just told Marty to get out of town for an alibi.
ex. "INT. VISSER'S CAR
Marty is slumped in his seat, not responding to the fact that Visser has just ended the conversation. [Visser is in charge.]
Finally he rouses himself and gets out of the car, leaving Visser staring at the door he has left open behind him. [We see Marty as a sad, weak figure.]
After a moment, we hear Marty's footsteps approaching again, and he leans back into the open door with an afterthought. [He returns?! Second thoughts?]
MARTY: I'll take care of the money, you just make sure those bodies aren't found...There's a... [His behavior says he's sure, but his words scream unsure.]
These words are difficult to say.
MARTY: ...If you want, there's a big incinerator behind my place... [His offer to help is lame since we just saw that Visser is going to take all the risk.]
The two men look at each other. Marty leaves. After a moment, Visser leans over to grab the handle of the still open door.
VISSER (under breath): Sweet Jesus, you are disgusting. [This line has added punch. Visser despises his client but is despicable himself.]
The door slams."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Rely on visuals and conflict first, then the dialogue will shine.
Rely on dialogue first, then visuals and conflict will fail.
Blood Simple (1984)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
People like to quote movie lines as shorthand:
- "You can't handle the truth!" ---> You're avoiding things.
- "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." ---> I've got the upper hand.
- "Go ahead, make my day." ---> Don't cross me.
People also think that this is what writers do, i.e., come up with dialogue.
However, we writers know that it's the least important part.
The bulk of our job is to structure visuals and conflict (building the cake). The dialogue is the last part (frosting). Without the cake, the frosting falls.
This script does an excellent job of emphasizing visuals first.
Because of this, the dialogue has a greater impact.
In the example below, Marty has just hired Visser, a sleezy p.i., to off Marty's wife. Visser has just told Marty to get out of town for an alibi.
ex. "INT. VISSER'S CAR
Marty is slumped in his seat, not responding to the fact that Visser has just ended the conversation. [Visser is in charge.]
Finally he rouses himself and gets out of the car, leaving Visser staring at the door he has left open behind him. [We see Marty as a sad, weak figure.]
After a moment, we hear Marty's footsteps approaching again, and he leans back into the open door with an afterthought. [He returns?! Second thoughts?]
MARTY: I'll take care of the money, you just make sure those bodies aren't found...There's a... [His behavior says he's sure, but his words scream unsure.]
These words are difficult to say.
MARTY: ...If you want, there's a big incinerator behind my place... [His offer to help is lame since we just saw that Visser is going to take all the risk.]
The two men look at each other. Marty leaves. After a moment, Visser leans over to grab the handle of the still open door.
VISSER (under breath): Sweet Jesus, you are disgusting. [This line has added punch. Visser despises his client but is despicable himself.]
The door slams."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Rely on visuals and conflict first, then the dialogue will shine.
Rely on dialogue first, then visuals and conflict will fail.
Blood Simple (1984)
by Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
Monday, August 3, 2015
TODAY'S NUGGET: Mission Impossible 2 (2000) - How Do We Know These Guys are Friends?
[Quick Summary: Superspy Ethan Hunt must track down the antidote to a disease that may infect millions.]
Let's say you're writing the second installment in a successful franchise.
How do you introduce the characters so that:
- We know these are friends of long standing, AND
- New viewers know how these characters are related, AND
- Seasoned viewers aren't bored?
A couple ways are to show:
- They share a similar sensibility (humor, sports teams, hobbies, etc.).
- They communicate in a common shorthand.
ex. "EXT. COPTER (DAY)
Billy and Luther emerge, Luther with computer looking acutely uncomfortable in a wrinkled suit.
ETHAN'S VOICE: Welcome to Australia, mate.
They look up to a smiling Ethan who points to the ground beneath Luther's feet. Luther looks down to see that he is standing in a pile of sheep-shit.
LUTHER: Thanks - mate.
Both men laugh and all three move to..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: We know characters are friends because we can see their ease with each another.
Mission Impossible 2 (2000)
by Robert Towne
Story by Ronald D. Moore & Brannon Braga
Let's say you're writing the second installment in a successful franchise.
How do you introduce the characters so that:
- We know these are friends of long standing, AND
- New viewers know how these characters are related, AND
- Seasoned viewers aren't bored?
A couple ways are to show:
- They share a similar sensibility (humor, sports teams, hobbies, etc.).
- They communicate in a common shorthand.
ex. "EXT. COPTER (DAY)
Billy and Luther emerge, Luther with computer looking acutely uncomfortable in a wrinkled suit.
ETHAN'S VOICE: Welcome to Australia, mate.
They look up to a smiling Ethan who points to the ground beneath Luther's feet. Luther looks down to see that he is standing in a pile of sheep-shit.
LUTHER: Thanks - mate.
Both men laugh and all three move to..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: We know characters are friends because we can see their ease with each another.
Mission Impossible 2 (2000)
by Robert Towne
Story by Ronald D. Moore & Brannon Braga
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