[Quick Summary: When the patriarch dies in a "suicide" and leaves his fortune to his nurse, a canny detective steps in to find the true killer in the family.]
This script is primarily a "how-done-it" which leads to the "who."
It is a fast and excellent read.
I was particularly interested to see that the clues were laid out in flashback with an ADDED layer of the clue dropper's emotional uncertainty.
The audience's experience is similar that of an unreliable narrator: who is right? who can we trust? It is a great way to keep the suspense alive.
ex. INT. MARTA'S CAR - NIGHT - FLASHBACK
She drives out the guard gate and down the private road.
HARLAN (V.O.): Drive out the gate, then to avoid the security cameras, pull off the road BEORE the carved elephant.
Up ahead - a weathered wood carved elephant statue.
MARTA: Wait...was it before or after?
HARLAN (V.O.): AFTER the carved elephant.
MARTA: No, he said - before? Was it?
HARLAN (V.O.): BEAFTERFORE the carved elephant.
MARTA: Shit...
She yanks the wheel and pulls off BEFORE the statue.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's not just the clues. It's the emotional need for answers. Keep them guessing.
Knives Out (2019)
Written and directed by Rian Johnson
* I tend to classify mysteries into two camps:
- "how-done-its" (often before technology was advanced)
- "who-done-it" and/or "why-done-it"
Monday, December 30, 2019
Monday, December 23, 2019
2020 OSCARS: Little Women (2019) - Doing Something Different Isn't Enough in an Adaptation
[Quick Summary: The story of aspiring writer Jo March and her sisters Meg, Amy, and Beth in the 1850s.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) STUNNED. My sister is one of the hardest demographics to get into theaters:
- She BALKS at going to the movies.
- She would rather watch tv re-runs of "Say Yes to the Dress" at home because she can multi-task, i.e., short attention span.
However, she is also the best demographic if she likes the film:
- She tells EVERYONE about the film. You can't pay her to shut up.
- She buys the soundtracks, DVDs for the extras.
So when she insisted that we must see this film on opening day (Christmas), I was stunned. * **
2) DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT ISN'T ENOUGH IN ADAPTATION.
Making a film just to "do something different" would have been boring and a waste of money. Audiences want more. (Or as my sister put it, "well done.")
I think the smartest thing the producers did here was to match the right writer to the material.
Writer/director Greta Gerwig said that this film is about "women, art, and money," and understood that these themes have not gone away for women.
How did Gerwig make this script FEEL like the book even though the structure is different (told in flashback)?
I think it is because she:
a) was well aware of the themes and
b) used the form (flashback) to make a point about it.
In the scenes below, notice the contrast from past (carefree, close family fun) to present (hard work, poor, lonely).
ex. "INT./EXT. MARCH HOUSE. NIGHT. 1861.
...The girls laugh and prance and gossip around the warm fire. He stands apart, loving them all, the whole family...
EXT. MARCH HOUSE. NIGHT. CONTINUOUS.
...but most especially Jo. As Laurie retreats back to his big, lonely house, he looks across the field to Jo, writing alone in the attic, absorbed with her work.
THE PRESENT. EXT./INT. NEW YORK BOARDING HOUSE. NIGHT. 1868.
Jo works with her writing costume on: an antique military jacket. Her writing is like an attack, moving into enemy territory and occupying space. Her hand starts to cramp, she shakes it, stretches it, and then switches hands.
Suddenly she stops - she's heard something. She opens the door, but the hallway is empty. She looks down and sees a book, a very beautiful copy of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. She opens the cover - inside there is a note:
FRIEDRICH (read to camera): For the writer in the attic: Because you enjoyed the play o much tonight, I wanted you to have this. It will help you study character and paint it with your pen. I would love to read what you're writing, if you'll trust me. I promise honesty and whatever intelligence I can muster. Yours, Friedrich
Jo opens the book and almost greedily she begins to read, reciting the words to herself.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that Gerwig always knew what point she was making. It shows up in the unity of the script.
Little Women (2019)
by Greta Gerwig
Based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott
*You all want to know, "How do you get THAT demographic into the theater?!"
When I asked her, she replied, "It has to be well done."
Sigh. Not helpful. What makes a film "well done"?!
**She also mentioned becoming interested after seeing a segment interviewing the director on her favorite "CBS Sunday Morning."
So I guess knowing the audience you're marketing your film to?
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) STUNNED. My sister is one of the hardest demographics to get into theaters:
- She BALKS at going to the movies.
- She would rather watch tv re-runs of "Say Yes to the Dress" at home because she can multi-task, i.e., short attention span.
However, she is also the best demographic if she likes the film:
- She tells EVERYONE about the film. You can't pay her to shut up.
- She buys the soundtracks, DVDs for the extras.
So when she insisted that we must see this film on opening day (Christmas), I was stunned. * **
2) DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT ISN'T ENOUGH IN ADAPTATION.
Making a film just to "do something different" would have been boring and a waste of money. Audiences want more. (Or as my sister put it, "well done.")
I think the smartest thing the producers did here was to match the right writer to the material.
Writer/director Greta Gerwig said that this film is about "women, art, and money," and understood that these themes have not gone away for women.
How did Gerwig make this script FEEL like the book even though the structure is different (told in flashback)?
I think it is because she:
a) was well aware of the themes and
b) used the form (flashback) to make a point about it.
In the scenes below, notice the contrast from past (carefree, close family fun) to present (hard work, poor, lonely).
ex. "INT./EXT. MARCH HOUSE. NIGHT. 1861.
...The girls laugh and prance and gossip around the warm fire. He stands apart, loving them all, the whole family...
EXT. MARCH HOUSE. NIGHT. CONTINUOUS.
...but most especially Jo. As Laurie retreats back to his big, lonely house, he looks across the field to Jo, writing alone in the attic, absorbed with her work.
THE PRESENT. EXT./INT. NEW YORK BOARDING HOUSE. NIGHT. 1868.
Jo works with her writing costume on: an antique military jacket. Her writing is like an attack, moving into enemy territory and occupying space. Her hand starts to cramp, she shakes it, stretches it, and then switches hands.
Suddenly she stops - she's heard something. She opens the door, but the hallway is empty. She looks down and sees a book, a very beautiful copy of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare. She opens the cover - inside there is a note:
FRIEDRICH (read to camera): For the writer in the attic: Because you enjoyed the play o much tonight, I wanted you to have this. It will help you study character and paint it with your pen. I would love to read what you're writing, if you'll trust me. I promise honesty and whatever intelligence I can muster. Yours, Friedrich
Jo opens the book and almost greedily she begins to read, reciting the words to herself.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that Gerwig always knew what point she was making. It shows up in the unity of the script.
Little Women (2019)
by Greta Gerwig
Based on the novel by Louisa May Alcott
*You all want to know, "How do you get THAT demographic into the theater?!"
When I asked her, she replied, "It has to be well done."
Sigh. Not helpful. What makes a film "well done"?!
**She also mentioned becoming interested after seeing a segment interviewing the director on her favorite "CBS Sunday Morning."
So I guess knowing the audience you're marketing your film to?
Monday, December 16, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Falcon and the Snowman (1985) - Criminal With Scruples
[Quick Summary: In 1970s L.A., two childhood friends (a gov't code room clerk and a minor drug pusher) sell classified secrets to the Russians.]
I'd like to paint humans as all good or bad, but it would be boring and untrue.
Humans are a mix of good, bad, and the contradictory.
This is especially apparent in criminals with scruples like the Daulton character.
He comes from a good home, yet he is a heroin addict.
He loves his family, yet he runs his drug business from his parents' pool house.
He is loyal to his childhood friend Chris, yet will end up blackmailing him.
So why do we even empathize with Daulton?
He does aspire to higher moral ground occasionally, especially concerning Chris.
Note in the scene below:
- Chris and Daulton are in their early 20s.
- Chris has just come back to town. His first stop is Daulton's family's home.
- They have just sat down to breakfast in the backyard.
- Notice Daulton has Chris' best interests in mind...but it is also self-serving.
- Also notice the shorthand between them that signals a long-standing friendship.
ex. EXT. LEE BACKYARD - DAY
...CHRIS: Changed my mind -- no seminary -- couldn't go through with it, what've you been up to?
DAULTON: What're you talking about?
CHRIS: Give me some cantaloupe.
DAULTON: This is some kind of bad joke.
Chris shakes his head 'no,' and salts cantaloupe. For one of the few times in Daulton's life, he is speechless. Chris smiles proudly, but Daulton's less-than-thrilled reaction kills it.
CHRIS: Come on, congratulate me, I finally came to my senses. Took me longer than you but at least I did it.
Daulton forks an egg, stirs it around, doesn't congratulate him, doesn't even want to look at him. This is very weird...Chris expected any reaction other than this one.
CHRIS: What.
DAULTON: Forget it.
CHRIS: What --
DAULTON: What -- how many people can say that their priest and their best friend are the same person?
CHRIS: I don't believe this --
DAULTON: I could go to Confession and tell the truth...yeah, laugh, I was counting on you.
CHRIS: You tried to talk me out of it how many times?
DAULTON: So what, I didn't mean it.
CHRIS: When's the last time you even went to Mass?
DAULTON: I still go on the Holy Days and - that has nothing to do with anything -- you've disappointed me.
They study each other. Daulton eventually stops thinking about himself and what this means to him...
DAULTON: What'd you tell your folks?
CHRIS: They don't know I'm back yet.
DAULTON: That'll be interesting.
CHRIS: This is interesting.
DAULTON (eventually): Are you all right?
CHRIS: I will be.
DAULTON: What can I do?
CHRIS: Get my mind off it by whatever means necessary.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The Chris-Daulton scenes are the best parts of this script.
They are full of trust and comradery, and are a direct contrast to Daulton's solo scenes where he continues to bemoan that he can't trust anyone.
The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)(4th revisions, 11/17/83)
by Steve Zaillian
Based on the book, The Falcon and the Snowman: A True Story of Friendship and Espionage, by Robert Lindsey
I'd like to paint humans as all good or bad, but it would be boring and untrue.
Humans are a mix of good, bad, and the contradictory.
This is especially apparent in criminals with scruples like the Daulton character.
He comes from a good home, yet he is a heroin addict.
He loves his family, yet he runs his drug business from his parents' pool house.
He is loyal to his childhood friend Chris, yet will end up blackmailing him.
So why do we even empathize with Daulton?
He does aspire to higher moral ground occasionally, especially concerning Chris.
Note in the scene below:
- Chris and Daulton are in their early 20s.
- Chris has just come back to town. His first stop is Daulton's family's home.
- They have just sat down to breakfast in the backyard.
- Notice Daulton has Chris' best interests in mind...but it is also self-serving.
- Also notice the shorthand between them that signals a long-standing friendship.
ex. EXT. LEE BACKYARD - DAY
...CHRIS: Changed my mind -- no seminary -- couldn't go through with it, what've you been up to?
DAULTON: What're you talking about?
CHRIS: Give me some cantaloupe.
DAULTON: This is some kind of bad joke.
Chris shakes his head 'no,' and salts cantaloupe. For one of the few times in Daulton's life, he is speechless. Chris smiles proudly, but Daulton's less-than-thrilled reaction kills it.
CHRIS: Come on, congratulate me, I finally came to my senses. Took me longer than you but at least I did it.
Daulton forks an egg, stirs it around, doesn't congratulate him, doesn't even want to look at him. This is very weird...Chris expected any reaction other than this one.
CHRIS: What.
DAULTON: Forget it.
CHRIS: What --
DAULTON: What -- how many people can say that their priest and their best friend are the same person?
CHRIS: I don't believe this --
DAULTON: I could go to Confession and tell the truth...yeah, laugh, I was counting on you.
CHRIS: You tried to talk me out of it how many times?
DAULTON: So what, I didn't mean it.
CHRIS: When's the last time you even went to Mass?
DAULTON: I still go on the Holy Days and - that has nothing to do with anything -- you've disappointed me.
They study each other. Daulton eventually stops thinking about himself and what this means to him...
DAULTON: What'd you tell your folks?
CHRIS: They don't know I'm back yet.
DAULTON: That'll be interesting.
CHRIS: This is interesting.
DAULTON (eventually): Are you all right?
CHRIS: I will be.
DAULTON: What can I do?
CHRIS: Get my mind off it by whatever means necessary.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The Chris-Daulton scenes are the best parts of this script.
They are full of trust and comradery, and are a direct contrast to Daulton's solo scenes where he continues to bemoan that he can't trust anyone.
The Falcon and the Snowman (1985)(4th revisions, 11/17/83)
by Steve Zaillian
Based on the book, The Falcon and the Snowman: A True Story of Friendship and Espionage, by Robert Lindsey
Monday, December 9, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) - How To Make Me Care: Flaws + Arcs = Vulnerability
[Quick Summary: When they must complete a history report by tomorrow, 16 y.o. Bill and Ted receive a mysterious time traveling phone booth to help them.]
This was a most excellent adventure to read.
First, the premise is clear: Bill and Ted must present a report on historical figures.
Second, the twist is fun: They actually time traveled to find the historical figures.
But what I liked most was that these characters had real flaws and arcs that were not overshadowed by the flashier bits.
In the scene below:
- Both Bill and Ted are rather irresponsible kids (flaws).
- But because the historical figures are helpless as babies, Bill and Ted change and step up like good 'dads' (arc)
ex. "EXT. PREHISTORIC MARSH - DAY
...TED: Beethoven. (beat) Beethoven?
Billy the Kid nudges Beethoven, who looks up and raises his hand. Next to him, Sigmund Freud is opening a Pudding Cup. He is about to lick the lid when --
TED (seeing him): Sigmund Freud! Don't lick the lid of the Pudding Cup!
But Freud does anyhow, and winces.
TED: I told you not to. Everyone! Don't lick the lids!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Genghis Khan is elbowing Abraham Lincoln, trying to make more room for himself.
TED: Genghis Khan! Abe Lincoln! That's funny until someone gets hurt!
But Genghis Khan and Lincoln keep horsing around. So Ted calls over toward --
BILL
who is sitting on top of the phone booth, fiddling with the broken antenna.
TED (O.S.): Bill, they won't stop roughhousing.
Bill, the disgruntled "father," sighs and looks over his shoulder --
BILL: Do I have to come over there and make you guys stop?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I find vulnerability hard to write. Perhaps focusing more on flaws and arcs will get me to the same place.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)(6th draft, 11/24/86 w/revisions)
by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon
This was a most excellent adventure to read.
First, the premise is clear: Bill and Ted must present a report on historical figures.
Second, the twist is fun: They actually time traveled to find the historical figures.
But what I liked most was that these characters had real flaws and arcs that were not overshadowed by the flashier bits.
In the scene below:
- Both Bill and Ted are rather irresponsible kids (flaws).
- But because the historical figures are helpless as babies, Bill and Ted change and step up like good 'dads' (arc)
ex. "EXT. PREHISTORIC MARSH - DAY
...TED: Beethoven. (beat) Beethoven?
Billy the Kid nudges Beethoven, who looks up and raises his hand. Next to him, Sigmund Freud is opening a Pudding Cup. He is about to lick the lid when --
TED (seeing him): Sigmund Freud! Don't lick the lid of the Pudding Cup!
But Freud does anyhow, and winces.
TED: I told you not to. Everyone! Don't lick the lids!
ANOTHER ANGLE
Genghis Khan is elbowing Abraham Lincoln, trying to make more room for himself.
TED: Genghis Khan! Abe Lincoln! That's funny until someone gets hurt!
But Genghis Khan and Lincoln keep horsing around. So Ted calls over toward --
BILL
who is sitting on top of the phone booth, fiddling with the broken antenna.
TED (O.S.): Bill, they won't stop roughhousing.
Bill, the disgruntled "father," sighs and looks over his shoulder --
BILL: Do I have to come over there and make you guys stop?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I find vulnerability hard to write. Perhaps focusing more on flaws and arcs will get me to the same place.
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)(6th draft, 11/24/86 w/revisions)
by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon
Monday, December 2, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Robocop (1987) - Suspense Scene Built by "Hand Offs"
[Quick Summary: When an injured human cop involuntarily becomes the first half-human, half-robotic cop, he discovers his origins in the corruption of the city.]
BAD NEWS: I did not worry about the protagonist much. Why worry?
I had to wait until about half-way into the script until Robocop's memories of being human begin to surface.
GOOD NEWS: The action is suspenseful, which every big budget action film needs.
I particularly liked how the writers directed the flow of action and built suspense with each "hand off" in the scene below."*
Note the direct and clean flow of action:
ex. "EXT. GAS STATION
...ROBO: Dead or alive, pal. Either way you're coming with me.
EMIL
has heard these words before. He stares at Robo, staggered by nightmare deja vu.
EMIL: Y-you?
It's all too much. He opens with the MAC-10 and dives or cover behind the gas pumps. Bullets bounces off Robo's armor and shred the gas pumps. One severs the feed hose and gas sprays out under high pressure. [Emil --> bullets --> gas pump --> hose --> gas]
THE ATTENDANT
can't believe what he's seeing. Pink gas washes the glass window of the booth. He grabs his books and runs away as fast as he can. [Gas over windows]
EMIL
fires, advancing to his bike. Fountains erupt from gas pumps as he riddles them with bullets. Gas seethes across the pavement, lapping at his shoes. He panics. [Emil --> bullets --> fountains --> gas to his shoes]
ROBOVISION
Command Graphic: TARGETING. Behind the ruptured pumps, Emil jumps on his bike, and jams it into gear. The bike slips and broadies on the fuel slicked tarmac. And now we're moving very quickly, racing toward [Robovision --> Emil slipping on gas]
THE CIGARETTE
It smolders on the ground. Tiny fingers of gasoline race to meet it. [Cigarette meets gasoline]
EMIL
is terrified. The bike inches foreward as the rear wheel spins furiously, spraying gas. The bike hits dry ground and leaps away. Emil holds on for his life. [Emil spinning wheels]
ROBO
steps on the cigarette just before the gas reaches it. Gas floods the pavement around his feet. Suddenly, [Robo puts out cigarette --> gas gushes]
THE SHELL STATION
explodes. Robo is engulfed in flames and Emil, leaning low on the bike, races ahead of the fireball. [Explosion --> Emil escapes on bike]
IN THE FIRE
blackened mechanical legs step through the burning rubble. [Robo escapes]
ROBOVISION
Command Graphic: TARGETING. Vectors lock on the escaping Emil as we clear the fire, raise our blazing arm and fire. [Robovision targets Emil's bike]
EMIL'S MOTORCYCLE
flips violently. Emil goes flying." [Bike flips]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this scene because Robocop was vulnerable and had to work around it. For much of the story, he is rather invincible and it got boring.
Robocop (1987)(4th draft w/revisions, 6/10/86)
by Edward Neumeier & Michael Miner
*Hand off = In track and field, a relay baton is handed off from team member to team member.
BAD NEWS: I did not worry about the protagonist much. Why worry?
I had to wait until about half-way into the script until Robocop's memories of being human begin to surface.
GOOD NEWS: The action is suspenseful, which every big budget action film needs.
I particularly liked how the writers directed the flow of action and built suspense with each "hand off" in the scene below."*
Note the direct and clean flow of action:
ex. "EXT. GAS STATION
...ROBO: Dead or alive, pal. Either way you're coming with me.
EMIL
has heard these words before. He stares at Robo, staggered by nightmare deja vu.
EMIL: Y-you?
It's all too much. He opens with the MAC-10 and dives or cover behind the gas pumps. Bullets bounces off Robo's armor and shred the gas pumps. One severs the feed hose and gas sprays out under high pressure. [Emil --> bullets --> gas pump --> hose --> gas]
THE ATTENDANT
can't believe what he's seeing. Pink gas washes the glass window of the booth. He grabs his books and runs away as fast as he can. [Gas over windows]
EMIL
fires, advancing to his bike. Fountains erupt from gas pumps as he riddles them with bullets. Gas seethes across the pavement, lapping at his shoes. He panics. [Emil --> bullets --> fountains --> gas to his shoes]
ROBOVISION
Command Graphic: TARGETING. Behind the ruptured pumps, Emil jumps on his bike, and jams it into gear. The bike slips and broadies on the fuel slicked tarmac. And now we're moving very quickly, racing toward [Robovision --> Emil slipping on gas]
THE CIGARETTE
It smolders on the ground. Tiny fingers of gasoline race to meet it. [Cigarette meets gasoline]
EMIL
is terrified. The bike inches foreward as the rear wheel spins furiously, spraying gas. The bike hits dry ground and leaps away. Emil holds on for his life. [Emil spinning wheels]
ROBO
steps on the cigarette just before the gas reaches it. Gas floods the pavement around his feet. Suddenly, [Robo puts out cigarette --> gas gushes]
THE SHELL STATION
explodes. Robo is engulfed in flames and Emil, leaning low on the bike, races ahead of the fireball. [Explosion --> Emil escapes on bike]
IN THE FIRE
blackened mechanical legs step through the burning rubble. [Robo escapes]
ROBOVISION
Command Graphic: TARGETING. Vectors lock on the escaping Emil as we clear the fire, raise our blazing arm and fire. [Robovision targets Emil's bike]
EMIL'S MOTORCYCLE
flips violently. Emil goes flying." [Bike flips]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this scene because Robocop was vulnerable and had to work around it. For much of the story, he is rather invincible and it got boring.
Robocop (1987)(4th draft w/revisions, 6/10/86)
by Edward Neumeier & Michael Miner
*Hand off = In track and field, a relay baton is handed off from team member to team member.
Monday, November 25, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Prizzi's Honor (1985) - Devious Plot Construction; Just Right Amount of Clarity & Information
[Quick Summary: Against everyone's wishes, Charley, an assassin for the Prizzi mobster family, falls for a blonde, who is also an assassin for hire.]
I don't say this about many scripts, but this one is dazzling.
I offer two reasons why:
1) DEVIOUS PLOT CONSTRUCTION.
This script impressed me because the writers gave me just enough clarity, just enough information.
I could tell because I was able to follow the current scene easily, and then pick up more crumbs later without being confused.
ex. The script begins with this scene:
TWO MEN STAND TOGETHER IN A HOSPITAL CORRIDOR LOOKING THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW OF A HOSPITAL NURSERY.
DON CORRADO (putting arm around ANGELO PARTANNA, as they look down into bassinet at the infant): You son has lost his mother but he has gained another father. I am his father now, with you. I will be as one with you in protecting his future.
[Who are these men? How do they know each other? We do not know.
BUT it is clear that they have a bond...and that is enough for me to follow for now.
Then four pages later...]
INT. CHURCH - DAY
...All the other men in the first four pews wear dinner jackets. Directly behind Don Corrado sits ANGELO PARTANNA, his consigliere, a scrawny, bald, and relentlessly dapper man in his mid-70's....
[Ah ha! We learn here that Partanna works for Corrado.
Notice that the writers waited until p. 5 to clarify who Corrado and Partanna were. They did not try to unload everything on p. 1.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was also very impressed how fast the script read, in large part because the motives were so clear.
ex. The first 25+ pgs. were essentially "boy looks for mystery girl" and I was mesmerized.
Prizzi's Honor (1985)(shooting script, rev.10/30/84)
Story and screenplay by Richard Condon and Janet Roach
Based on the novel by Richard Condon
I don't say this about many scripts, but this one is dazzling.
I offer two reasons why:
1) DEVIOUS PLOT CONSTRUCTION.
The story is by Richard Condon, a novelist who delights in devious plot construction, and here he takes two absolutes - romantic love and the Prizzi's honor - and arranges a collision between them. Because all of the motivations are so direct and logical, the movie is able to make the most shocking decisions seem inevitable." - Roger Ebert2) JUST RIGHT AMOUNT OF CLARITY & INFORMATION.
This script impressed me because the writers gave me just enough clarity, just enough information.
I could tell because I was able to follow the current scene easily, and then pick up more crumbs later without being confused.
ex. The script begins with this scene:
TWO MEN STAND TOGETHER IN A HOSPITAL CORRIDOR LOOKING THROUGH THE GLASS WINDOW OF A HOSPITAL NURSERY.
DON CORRADO (putting arm around ANGELO PARTANNA, as they look down into bassinet at the infant): You son has lost his mother but he has gained another father. I am his father now, with you. I will be as one with you in protecting his future.
[Who are these men? How do they know each other? We do not know.
BUT it is clear that they have a bond...and that is enough for me to follow for now.
Then four pages later...]
INT. CHURCH - DAY
...All the other men in the first four pews wear dinner jackets. Directly behind Don Corrado sits ANGELO PARTANNA, his consigliere, a scrawny, bald, and relentlessly dapper man in his mid-70's....
[Ah ha! We learn here that Partanna works for Corrado.
Notice that the writers waited until p. 5 to clarify who Corrado and Partanna were. They did not try to unload everything on p. 1.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was also very impressed how fast the script read, in large part because the motives were so clear.
ex. The first 25+ pgs. were essentially "boy looks for mystery girl" and I was mesmerized.
Prizzi's Honor (1985)(shooting script, rev.10/30/84)
Story and screenplay by Richard Condon and Janet Roach
Based on the novel by Richard Condon
Monday, November 18, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Used Cars (1980) - Make the Intro to the Character Count
[Quick Summary: After his boss of a used car lot dies unexpectedly, Rudy stumbles along trying to keep the lot out of the hands of the boss' evil brother.]
The plot was ok,
This script was good.
This intro to Rudy was the best part,
Since the actions explain where his character stood.
ex. "EXT. AN EDSEL - DAWN
...Lucky Used Cars is on a 4-lane highway on the outskirts of a southwestern city. Behind it, an alley, some warehouses, and high-tension lines. And the desert.
We CRANE DOWN TO
A 1974 BUICK ELECTRA 225
Its repainted body can't hide the dents and nicks. The driver's door is open.
We PUSH IN through the rear window, past the steering wheel, all the way into the dashboard, the speedometer, the ODOMETER: 98,577. Then, suddenly...CLICK! It changes to 38,577!
A MAN pops up from under the dash and bangs his head on the steering wheel!
RUDY: Ow! Fuck!
This is RUDY RUSSO, 32. Rudy is handsome, smooth, a charmer, and a mover. And a liar. His sartorial taste is a little loud. Rudy sprays some "R & L Essence of Vinyl" across the front seat, and sniffs it.
RUDY: Ahhh!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When introducing your character through his/her actions, make it count. Make it stand out. Don't start with boring or ambiguous.
Used Cars (1980)(2nd draft, 9/18/79)
by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale
The plot was ok,
This script was good.
This intro to Rudy was the best part,
Since the actions explain where his character stood.
ex. "EXT. AN EDSEL - DAWN
...Lucky Used Cars is on a 4-lane highway on the outskirts of a southwestern city. Behind it, an alley, some warehouses, and high-tension lines. And the desert.
We CRANE DOWN TO
A 1974 BUICK ELECTRA 225
Its repainted body can't hide the dents and nicks. The driver's door is open.
We PUSH IN through the rear window, past the steering wheel, all the way into the dashboard, the speedometer, the ODOMETER: 98,577. Then, suddenly...CLICK! It changes to 38,577!
A MAN pops up from under the dash and bangs his head on the steering wheel!
RUDY: Ow! Fuck!
This is RUDY RUSSO, 32. Rudy is handsome, smooth, a charmer, and a mover. And a liar. His sartorial taste is a little loud. Rudy sprays some "R & L Essence of Vinyl" across the front seat, and sniffs it.
RUDY: Ahhh!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When introducing your character through his/her actions, make it count. Make it stand out. Don't start with boring or ambiguous.
Used Cars (1980)(2nd draft, 9/18/79)
by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale
Monday, November 11, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: 1941 (1979) - Establishing Fun Tone From the Start with Columbia Pictures Logo
[Quick Summary: In 1940, Americans are in a frenzy because they think the Japanese have invaded the mainland...but they have not.]
I did not like 1941 as much as its successor-in-tone, Airplane! (1980) though the formats are similar (gags, non-sequiturs, multiple stories, etc.)
Did I expect too much from the creators early in their careers?*
I turned to Roger Ebert for clarification:
a) It plays with the Columbia Pictures logo in a playful way that was not often done until the 1980s.
b) It establishes a tongue-in-cheek tone right away.
ex. "FADE IN:
COLUMBIA PICTURES LOGO
The Lady With The Torch -- proud, heroic.
We HEAR the sound of an air raid siren...and then the voice of EDDIE DEEZEN, yelling!
DEEZEN (V.O.): It's an air raid! Lights out! Lights out!
Of course, the Lady With The Torch is immobile.
DEEZEN (V.O.): Hey, you crazy broad, put that light out!!!
The Lady immediately reacts -- she blows out her torch and the screen goes pitch black!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Ebert is right. I cared more about the characters in Airplane! surviving than I did here, and it made all the difference.
1941 (1979)(Revised 9th draft, 8/28/78)
by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale
Based on the story "The Night the Japs Attacked," by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale and John Milius
* This script and film are the combined talents of Spielberg + Zemekis + Gale + Milius + Belushi + Aykroyd.
Also, the marketing tag line was: "Soon the screen will be bombarded by the most explosive barrage of #$%(& ever filmed"?
I did not like 1941 as much as its successor-in-tone, Airplane! (1980) though the formats are similar (gags, non-sequiturs, multiple stories, etc.)
Did I expect too much from the creators early in their careers?*
I turned to Roger Ebert for clarification:
...the real problem with "1941", I think: This movie was never thought through on a basic level of character and story. All sorts of things are happening, but we're never clear why they have to happen and we haven't been told enough about the characters to care if they survive or not.Ah ha! Oh well. At least I learned from the script's great opening:
a) It plays with the Columbia Pictures logo in a playful way that was not often done until the 1980s.
b) It establishes a tongue-in-cheek tone right away.
ex. "FADE IN:
COLUMBIA PICTURES LOGO
The Lady With The Torch -- proud, heroic.
We HEAR the sound of an air raid siren...and then the voice of EDDIE DEEZEN, yelling!
DEEZEN (V.O.): It's an air raid! Lights out! Lights out!
Of course, the Lady With The Torch is immobile.
DEEZEN (V.O.): Hey, you crazy broad, put that light out!!!
The Lady immediately reacts -- she blows out her torch and the screen goes pitch black!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Ebert is right. I cared more about the characters in Airplane! surviving than I did here, and it made all the difference.
1941 (1979)(Revised 9th draft, 8/28/78)
by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale
Based on the story "The Night the Japs Attacked," by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale and John Milius
* This script and film are the combined talents of Spielberg + Zemekis + Gale + Milius + Belushi + Aykroyd.
Also, the marketing tag line was: "Soon the screen will be bombarded by the most explosive barrage of #$%(& ever filmed"?
Monday, November 4, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Brooklyn Rules (2007) - Characters' Attitudes as a Foreshadowing Tool
[Quick Summary: Three childhood friends have their loyalties tested in 1970s-1980s Brooklyn where they rub elbows with mobsters.]
This is a great film about the unwritten rules of guy friendship.
These three guys are almost always together, yet I could easily distinguish one from another because of distinct attitudes in dialogue and behavior.
How did the writer do this?
I think it is because he establishes the characters' attitudes early as kids to foreshadow how they will react as adults.
For example, the scene below comes early in the script.
Notice the three distinct ways that the three boys (Michael, Carmine and Bobby) react to the same situation:
ex. "EXT. WEEDS - BELT PARKWAY - (LATER THAT) DAY
...
BOBBY (O.S.): Holy shit! Guys, come here!
Michael and Carmine head off running toward Bobby's voice. In a small clearing off the parkway, a small clearing off the parkway, a '74 ELDORADO is parked, engine idling. Behind the wheel, a silk-suited THUG is slumped DEAD. BLOOD TRICKLES from two exit wounds in his forehead.
CARMINE: Oh fuck!
BOBBY: Is he dead?
MICHAEL: No genius, he's pretending. Look, he even put his brains all over the windshield.
As the kids peer into the open window, Carmine spots a pack of MARLBOROS and a GOLD LIGHTER. He reaches in to take them.
BOBBY: What are you doing?!
Carmine lights a CIGARETTE, then admires his new LIGHTER.
CARMINE: He ain't gonna smoke 'em.
BOBBY (a beat; then): Maybe we should tell somebody.
MICHAEL: What are you, retarded?
CARMINE (looking in car): Think there's any money?
Michael leans in and pops the glove compartment. There, in plain view, is a nickel-plated .38 REVOLVER. He leans in and takes it.
MICHAEL: Whoa. Checkit out.
CARMINE: Holy shit, lemme see.
MICHAEL: No way, man. It's mine.
Michael slips the GUN in his jacket pocket, just as something in the car catches Bobby's eye. He opens the passenger door.
CARMINE: The fuck you doin'?
Through the window, we see what Bobby is going for - an ANIMAL TRANSPORT CASE in the back seat. He unlocks the wire mesh front, then reaches in and removes a month-old, brown and white
BEAGLE PUPPY
who is very much alive. Bobby cradles the dog in his arms.
BOBBY: Hey puppy, you okay?
CARMINE: He's cute. Sharp teeth.
MICHAEL: What should we do with him?
BOBBY: Nothing. I'm keeping him.
We hear POLICE SIREN in the distance. A beat, then the BOYS exchange looks and take off running..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The scene above looks like it is about boys finding a dead body...but it's really about what is most valued by each kid (character).
Brooklyn Rules (2007)(4/8/04 draft)
by Terence Winter
This is a great film about the unwritten rules of guy friendship.
These three guys are almost always together, yet I could easily distinguish one from another because of distinct attitudes in dialogue and behavior.
How did the writer do this?
I think it is because he establishes the characters' attitudes early as kids to foreshadow how they will react as adults.
For example, the scene below comes early in the script.
Notice the three distinct ways that the three boys (Michael, Carmine and Bobby) react to the same situation:
ex. "EXT. WEEDS - BELT PARKWAY - (LATER THAT) DAY
...
BOBBY (O.S.): Holy shit! Guys, come here!
Michael and Carmine head off running toward Bobby's voice. In a small clearing off the parkway, a small clearing off the parkway, a '74 ELDORADO is parked, engine idling. Behind the wheel, a silk-suited THUG is slumped DEAD. BLOOD TRICKLES from two exit wounds in his forehead.
CARMINE: Oh fuck!
BOBBY: Is he dead?
MICHAEL: No genius, he's pretending. Look, he even put his brains all over the windshield.
As the kids peer into the open window, Carmine spots a pack of MARLBOROS and a GOLD LIGHTER. He reaches in to take them.
BOBBY: What are you doing?!
Carmine lights a CIGARETTE, then admires his new LIGHTER.
CARMINE: He ain't gonna smoke 'em.
BOBBY (a beat; then): Maybe we should tell somebody.
MICHAEL: What are you, retarded?
CARMINE (looking in car): Think there's any money?
Michael leans in and pops the glove compartment. There, in plain view, is a nickel-plated .38 REVOLVER. He leans in and takes it.
MICHAEL: Whoa. Checkit out.
CARMINE: Holy shit, lemme see.
MICHAEL: No way, man. It's mine.
Michael slips the GUN in his jacket pocket, just as something in the car catches Bobby's eye. He opens the passenger door.
CARMINE: The fuck you doin'?
Through the window, we see what Bobby is going for - an ANIMAL TRANSPORT CASE in the back seat. He unlocks the wire mesh front, then reaches in and removes a month-old, brown and white
BEAGLE PUPPY
who is very much alive. Bobby cradles the dog in his arms.
BOBBY: Hey puppy, you okay?
CARMINE: He's cute. Sharp teeth.
MICHAEL: What should we do with him?
BOBBY: Nothing. I'm keeping him.
We hear POLICE SIREN in the distance. A beat, then the BOYS exchange looks and take off running..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The scene above looks like it is about boys finding a dead body...but it's really about what is most valued by each kid (character).
Brooklyn Rules (2007)(4/8/04 draft)
by Terence Winter
Monday, October 28, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: The 25th Hour (2002) - Writing a Good Character
[Quick Summary: On the last day before a 7 year federal incarceration, drug dealer Monty Brogan takes two childhood friends to one last goodbye party.]
How to write a good character? I get less and less articulate as I learn more.
I have noticed is that a good character is one that the audience can easily identify with or recognize on some level, i.e., "Oh, I know who that person is."
In the scene below, it is the day before Monty is about to go to federal prison. He wants to know if the most important person in his life has ratted him out.
The audience recognizes why Monty's priorities are so clear, even if we have not been in his shoes.
ex. "INT. BROGAN'S BAR
Monty returns to the table, sits, drinks some Guinness..
MONTY: Let me ask you a question.
MR. BROGAN: Okay.
MONTY: What do you think of Naturelle?
MR. BROGAN: She's a good girl. Your mother would have liked her.
MONTY: Do you trust her?
MR. BROGAN: Do I trust her? Why do I have to trust her?
MONTY: Do you think I can trust her?
MR. BROGAN: Where you going with this?
MONTY: I've been hearing weird things. (beat) Some people are saying she dimed me out.
MR. BROGAN (incredulous): Why would she do that?
MONTY: I don't know. Maybe the Feds got to her somehow. Blackmailed her.
MR. BROGAN:The girl loves you, Monty. I can't believe she would betray you.
MONTY: Everything's gotten so strange, Dad. I wake up some mornings and it takes me a minute to remember who I am, you know? Where I'm going.
Mr. Brogan looks down at his plate and nods.
MONTY (CONT'D): Most of the people I'm with, I look at them and I think, these are my friends? (beat) The only ones I trust these days are you and the guys I grew up with -- Frank, Jake.
MR. BROGAN: I miss those boys.
MONTY: And Naturelle...Jesus. I can't get it out of my head.
MR. BROGAN: It doesn't really matter now, does it?
Monty stares at his father, blue eyes unblinking.
MONTY: It matters to me."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For me, "getting character on the page" has started to become more "getting a feeling of recognition on the page."
The 25th Hour (2002)(4/30/01 draft)
by David Benioff
Based on his novel
The wonder of the rich screenplay is that it contains all of this material about Monty, and yet informs us so fully about the others. There could be a separate movie about Jacob, a pudgy and phlegmatic high school English teacher who is fascinated by a tattoo on the bare midriff of one of his students, and by the girl Mary (Anna Paquin) who wears it. But any move in that direction would be wrong, and he knows it. - Rogert EbertThis quote reminds me that a good script = good characters.
How to write a good character? I get less and less articulate as I learn more.
I have noticed is that a good character is one that the audience can easily identify with or recognize on some level, i.e., "Oh, I know who that person is."
In the scene below, it is the day before Monty is about to go to federal prison. He wants to know if the most important person in his life has ratted him out.
The audience recognizes why Monty's priorities are so clear, even if we have not been in his shoes.
ex. "INT. BROGAN'S BAR
Monty returns to the table, sits, drinks some Guinness..
MONTY: Let me ask you a question.
MR. BROGAN: Okay.
MONTY: What do you think of Naturelle?
MR. BROGAN: She's a good girl. Your mother would have liked her.
MONTY: Do you trust her?
MR. BROGAN: Do I trust her? Why do I have to trust her?
MONTY: Do you think I can trust her?
MR. BROGAN: Where you going with this?
MONTY: I've been hearing weird things. (beat) Some people are saying she dimed me out.
MR. BROGAN (incredulous): Why would she do that?
MONTY: I don't know. Maybe the Feds got to her somehow. Blackmailed her.
MR. BROGAN:The girl loves you, Monty. I can't believe she would betray you.
MONTY: Everything's gotten so strange, Dad. I wake up some mornings and it takes me a minute to remember who I am, you know? Where I'm going.
Mr. Brogan looks down at his plate and nods.
MONTY (CONT'D): Most of the people I'm with, I look at them and I think, these are my friends? (beat) The only ones I trust these days are you and the guys I grew up with -- Frank, Jake.
MR. BROGAN: I miss those boys.
MONTY: And Naturelle...Jesus. I can't get it out of my head.
MR. BROGAN: It doesn't really matter now, does it?
Monty stares at his father, blue eyes unblinking.
MONTY: It matters to me."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For me, "getting character on the page" has started to become more "getting a feeling of recognition on the page."
The 25th Hour (2002)(4/30/01 draft)
by David Benioff
Based on his novel
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