Sunday, February 7, 2010

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mr. Hyde, I Presume?

You will probably never actually see what readers look like when they're getting a head of steam as they cover scripts, so I thought I'd give you a glimpse what I looked like this past week.

I read on the nose dialogue, and my shoulders hunched.

(IN MY HEAD: Why are you telling me what they're thinking? Have you EVER heard someone say, "Of course I know how to dance. I was a cheerleader in high school."?)

I saw character arcs that plateaued, and my brow furrowed so deeply that I had a unibrow.

(IN MY HEAD: They're the same at the beginning and end. This is NOT A STORY.)

I read episodic scenes that just jogged in place, and I busted muscles Hulk style and threw the script across the room.

(IN MY HEAD: Where was the forward movement? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? If you're not going to take me somewhere, I don't want to get in the car. )

I turned one script upside down, and crossed my eyes, hoping that it would help clarify a plot that made no sense.

(IN MY HEAD: Just because the story takes place at a funeral doesn't mean it is interesting. Did anything happen in the middle of the story that would lead to heightened drama at the actual funeral? No. Did anything happen in the middle that would explain why a funeral was even necessary? NO. Why the )(@*#$^$#@#$!!! are we at a funeral?!)

WHAT I KNOW: Readers are people too.

Well, except the Mr. Hyde that lurks inside me. 'Course you'll never know... 'cause I keep him under wraps...until your script ticks me off...

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