[Quick Summary: A new lawyer takes on a last minute death row appeal of a Klansman who killed two kids with a building bomb...and is also the attorney's estranged grandfather.]
Why do Goldman's scripts read like greased lightening?
One reason is that he takes the time (but not too much) to transition the reader's emotions for an upcoming curve ball, surprise, crisis, etc.*
I am always on the lookout for good transitions, as I find them particularly tricky.
In the example below, notice how we're being prepared for a pivotal moment:
- Scene A: We see Adam get upset over news. [Something is up.]
- Scene B: We see that he's nervous, agitated. [This news must mean a lot to him.]
- Scene C: He asks for a case that has upset him and is very personal. [Why?]
ex. "INT. ADAM'S OFFICE - CHICAGO - DAY
It's small, befitting an associate less than a year out of Law School. he breezes to the desk, flips on his computer, puts down the documents and coffee, places his briefcase on the credenza behind him, opens it, takes out some papers and file folders, places them on his desk. . . takes a look a the screen, clicks his mouse on something. . . then turns his back to the computer, takes off his jacket, hangs it on a hook, sits at his desk, opens the documents, takes a sip of coffee. . . takes another glance at the screen . . . and stops cold.
He gives the screen his full attention. There is something on it that drains the blood from his face. Finally he turns away with the look of one who knows the day he had dreaded has come.
He looks at the speaker button on his phone. Thinks. Hits it.
SECRETARY (O.S.): It wasn't de-caf, was it? I could get you some tea --
ADAM: I need to see Goodman. Now.
He clicks off.
INT. KRAVITZ & BANE - HALLWAY - DAY
A long hallway from Adam's office to the more senior offices. Adam emerges from his office and tries to control his nervousness as he walks the long walk.
INT. MR. GOODMAN'S OFFICE - DAY
E. GARNER GOODMAN has done one amazing thing in his life: he has been a practicing lawyer for forty years and has yet to do anything illegal. He is all tidy and neat. His office, on the other hand, is a zoo. Bookcases sag from the strain, the floor is a minefield of piles of legal briefs.
GOODMAN: Have you lost your mind?
He is talking to Adam who is seated in a chair. Adam repeats:
ADAM: No. I am very serious. I want the Cayhall case...."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I had never really considered how important those on-ramps are before an emotional turn. It makes a big difference in the reading experience.
The Chamber (1996)(shooting draft dated 4/16/96)
by William Goldman and Phil Alden Robinson and James Foley
Based on the novel by John Grisham
*FYI: Transitions are not just moving a character to a different location.
In writer's lingo, "transitions" are a broad umbrella of things that help prepare the reader for a switch in emotional state.
For example:
- Setting up scene A so that scene B is a payoff (structure)
- Seeding a conflict in scene A so that it explodes in scene B (conflict)
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