2023 OSCARS: All Quiet on the Western Front (2022) - Three Themes (Betrayal, Futility of War, Historical Context) in 1st 10 Pages

[Quick Summary: A young German soldier faces the reality and horrors of WWI.]

I've never read this book, nor seen the films, so I was interested to hear (here):

1) This book, published in 1929, was only adapted twice for the screen: a movie (1930) and tv movie (1979). 

2) It took the writers 16 years to get this to the screen!

3) The writers identified three themes they wanted to bring out: betrayal, futility of war, historical context. 

I liked how the writers get me into this story in the first ten pages, and lands me at p. 10 with all the themes at play.  How did they do it?

First, we're following Heinich Gerber through exploding battle field and dies before opening credits.

Then we're following our protagonist Paul who is recruited at school, then goes through enlisting.  

Then this scene below appears (p. 10) as the culmination of p. 1-9:

INT. SCHOOL/AUDITORIUM - DAY

...Paul gapes at him, dumbstruck. The officer shrugs, hands him a uniform off the pile and notes the size in a list.

ARMY RECRUITER (CONT'D): Here. Your father can be proud of you.

PAUL: Yes, he can.

ARMY RECRUITER: Are you okay?

PAUL: Mmhm. I just wanna get going.

Paul takes his uniform and is just leaving, when he sees the name tag sewn into the collar.

He quickly returns to the desk, where the recruiter is already busy with the next RECRUIT.

PAUL (CONT'D): Excuse me, Sir, this uniform already belongs to someone. 

The officer takes the uniform jacket from Paul and tears off the name tag. Then he hands it back. [Historical context.  There is an entire infrastructure behind recycling supplies in warfare.]

ARMY RECRUITER: Didn't fit him right. Happens all the time. [Betrayal. This is a lie.]

PAUL: Thank you, Sir.

Paul heads off, relieved. The name tag remains behind on the floor: HEINRICH GERBER.  [Futility of war.  He's repeating the cycle Heinrich just went through.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If you can identify the themes of the book that you want, look for symbols that will help amplify it, ex. the jacket here.

All Quiet on the Western Front (2022)
by Ian Stokell, Lesley Paterson, Edward Berger
Based on the novel by Erich Maria Remarque

2023 OSCARS: Triangle of Sadness (2022) - Empathy/Humor by Tripling Down on Vomit/Diahrrea

[Quick Summary: After a fashion couple join a cruise for the super-rich, it is shipwrecked and the hierarchy is turned upside down.]

This script is broken into 3 parts: life before the cruise; the cruise; and the island.*

My favorite scene was when Carl resents his girlfriend Yaya for not picking up the check.** I would've happily like to have explored more of this dynamic.

However, the writer wanted to talk about bigger issues like how we pretend how important rich "influencers" are, but dump us in nature, and we're all the same.

I don't know any more effective way to spread empathy than to demonstrate what affects us all: seasickness, illness and/or common bodily functions.

This scene below was extremely effective on me because:
- Paragraph 1 begins with sympathy ("I've cleaned up messes before").
- Paragraph 3 moves to empathy, i.e., vicarious experiences, of helplessness when ill and unable to control it. ("I feel woozy from the smell.")
- Paragraphs 7-9 move to pain/panic/humor when it devolves into retching in filth. ("There's a sense of...release(?) in letting it all go?")

INT. YACHT/ DINING ROOM - NIGHT

While the Captain is busy "preaching," a crew of six Filipino cleaning ladies, wearing lab masks, march into the dining room. They clean the mess methodically. One of them has headphones on. We move in on her ear and one of the earbuds. She's listening to Rage Against The Machine, "Killing In The Name." As she's wiping up vomit under a table the music becomes more and more distinct. 

"Now you do what they told ya...Now you do what they told ya...And now you do what they told ya"

Somewhere at this point the audience should - depending on their capacity for empathy - feel that the passengers have had enough. We don't want to see any more vomit. We want mercy for them. At that very moment, through Vera, we realize that they are not only seasick, they are suffering from food poisoning as well and now they desperately need to take a shit.

VERA: Mama! Uaaahhhhh...Help!

We see panic in their eyes as they dash back into the filthy toilets rights when "Killing In The Name" swells to its first climax.

The plumbing goes on the fritz and starts backing up into the hallway.

Shit and vomit start welling up from the toilets, drains, and sinks. Slime is oozing along the walls and out to the carpeted areas.

The passengers panic and try to get away from the stench and incredible filth.

They don't stand a chance against nature and their bodily impulses. They spew at both ends uncontrollably and everywhere.

Carl and Yaya hold hands in their life jackets.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: We find empathy and humor in the things we have in common, so triple down on bodily functions.

Triangle of Sadness (2022)(green revision)
Directed and written by Ruben Ostlund

*The script actually lists: "Part Two - The Cruise Ship" and "Part Three - The Island."

** This really happened to the hilarious writer, as he recounts here.

2023 OSCARS: Tar (2022) - Excellent Use of Stacking Subtext

[Quick Summary: This story is about the downfall of manipulative Lydia Tar, the greatest living female conductor-composer of a major European orchestra.]

Every year, I read Oscar nominated scripts and ask, "Why was this one nominated? What is NEW? What is so GOOD about it?"

In this script, the subject of unequal dynamics is not new, but adding a female conductor-composer is.  

However, I found I was even more impressed by writer-director Todd Field's excellent use of subtext.  

I particularly like the way it is told with an understanding of female dynamics, i.e., the conflict is not a quick "one and done," but it lingers, resentful, and entangled.

For example:
- Prior to the scene below, Tar flirted with a Young Matron (YM) with a red handbag, after a public performance.
- Later, Tar has the red handbag. Was it a "gift" from the YM? I say yes.
- Tar has also taken, and been abusing, her partner Sharon's Metroprolol.
- All this previous behavior sets up the payoff in the scene below.  Notice how many lies are stacked on each other.

TAR'S HOME

She arrives in the middle of night, and habitually begins turning off LIGHTS left on EVERYWHERE.

Stops when she sees the light on at the end of the far hallway where a woman paces back and forth

LIBRARY SITTING ROOM

She enters to find SHARON GOODNOW (40) pacing in her underwear.

SHARON: The flutter's back. It's racing. I can't find my Metroprolol anywhere. [We remember Tar had taken Metroprolol earlier.]

Tar immediately heads to 

THE BATHROOM

Takes the bottle from her bag, taps out a pill, and noisily closes the medicine cabinet before returning to [Now we realize:1) Tar took the pills w/o permission and 2) Sharon does not know.]

THE SITTING ROOM

TAR: This was lying loose on the counter. Is it the right one? [Tar took the pills + Sharon does not know + She is pretending now.]

Sharon looks at it, nods, and swallows it.

SHARON: Thank you... is that a new bag?

TAR: A gift from Eliot. Do you want it? [Tar took the pills + Sharon does not know it + Tar pretending to find a pill + Tar lying it was a gift from her mentor + Tar not telling Sharon about YM + Offering a tainted gift to her partner in life.]

SHARON (sits, catches breath): ... no, suits you.  [This line plays on 2 levels: 1) Sharon really means it, and 2) It visually represents many lies and an artificial life that Tar is leading.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was particularly impressed (and galled) at Tar's offer of the red handbag.

Visually, it's just a bag.  But in the story, it has a deeper symbolic meaning that represents layers of subterfuge and stacked subtext.

Tar (2022)
Directed and written by Todd Field

2023 OSCARS: The Fablemans (2022) - Sequence of Visuals + Reaction Shots = Internal Emotions

[Quick Summary: In post-WWII, Sammy Fableman discovers filmmaking and a family secret.]

The screenplay form is a weird kind of writing,* which makes them hard to judge.

So when I read Oscar nominated scripts, I'm mostly looking for CRAFT.  What is cutting edge, unusual, daring?  Are the things I've never seen done before?

This brings me to today's script by Spielberg and Kushner.  It is very well written, deeply felt...but is also the most traditional in this category.**

However, I did like the very Spielberg-ian method of conveying internal emotions by the use of external visuals.  

In the scene below:
- This is Sammy's first movie, Cecil B. DeMille's The Greatest Show on Earth.
- The sequence of visuals: train on screen --> Sammy's fright --> later in the car, Sammy still mute.
- Notice Sammy hasn't said a word...it is all in his reactions to what he's seen.
- Also note the economy of writing: Each sentence is a shot, and there is much more movement between Sammy and his environment than you think. 

ON SCREEN

...The Engineer in the second train tries to slow down.

ENGINEER (ON SCREEN)(to his BRAKEMAN): Hang on!

ROBBER 2 (ON SCREEN): Angel! ANGEL!!!

But it's too late. the train hits the car and flips it over!

IN THE THEATER

Sammy's whole body goes rigid, pushing back into his seat, staring in shock at the catastrophe on the screen.

Cut between the crash as the moving train ploughs into the stalled train and Sammy's reactions, frozen stills of his sheer, visceral terror (cf 2001's star gate sequence). For Sammy this is real, not a movie. His eyes are huge, taking in danger on the screen: lions and tigers are escaping from the demolished train!

Above and behind him, the projector's beam's colors cross, dance in the thick, cigarette-smoke-filled air. The beam's colors blend and merge into...

INT/EXT - THE FABLEMAN CAR DRIVING THROUGH HADDON HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY

...the colors of Christmas lights festooning every house on the street. Sammy's in the car's front seat between his parents, visibly stricken with fear.

MITZI: What was your favorite part?

Sammy's too scared to talk.

MITZI (CONT'D): Sammy! What do you want for Hanukkah?

Sammy doesn't answer. Mitzi looks at Burt.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  On a second read, I am impressed how the writing is BOTH emotional and efficient.  

It sounds too simple, but I think one of the keys is the choice of what the visual is and what comes before and after it.  

That is your job as a writer: to find the RIGHT visual and sequence.

The Fablemans (2022)
by Steven Spielberg & Tony Kushner

* The purpose of a screenplay is to produce a film.  This is similar to the purpose of a roast turkey recipe, which is to produce a roasted turkey.  We judge by how the turkey tastes, not by how well the recipe is written. 

**Perhaps the reason is, as a film critic that I admire said, this was a more factual story (vs. E.T., which was more allegorical), thus is essentially a home movie.

2023 OSCARS: Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) - Grounding a Surreal Story in Reality

[Quick Summary: A Chinese laundromat owner, who could be the hero to save the universe, is thrust into an adventure to explore all the lives she could have lived.]

I'm not surprised that people have exited this film saying, "What was that?"

A few things have helped me understand what they were trying to do:

- Writers/directors Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert ("The Daniels") wrote this script after seeing a double feature of The Matrix and Fight Club. 

- Their frequent collaborator, cinematographer Larkin Seiple, described their scripts as so surreal that he felt it was his job to ground the story in the ordinary [to make it seem familiar.] 

- Kwan said in an interview that he was scrolling through his cell phone, and it reminded him of different universes...

...which is what the main character Evelyn is experiencing in the scene below. 

NOTE:
- This scene is particularly good at conveying the surreal feeling physically of being in an elevator (but one's mind elsewhere).
- I really like how Waymond flows from surreal to ordinary in a few sentences.

INT. IRS ELEVATOR - THAT MOMENT

....DING! Evelyn is now standing outside of her laundromat with a few suitcases and Gong Gong sitting in a wheelchair, looking clearly disappointed.

DING! Evelyn sorts tax receipts earlier today! DING! Joy shut the car door on Evelyn. DING! Waymond sighs as they enter the elevator DING! The elevator door closes -

Evelyn blinks. She is back. She exhales, shell shocked.

Waymond shoves the papers he was writing on into her hands.

ALPHA WAYMOND: The moment you are situated in your meeting, follow these instructions, but remember: no one can know. Don't even talk to me about this because I won't remember.

EVELYN: But I-

He shushes her and places a hand gently on her cheek. Evelyn shrivels under the intimacy.

His phone BEEPS.  He closes the umbrella, shoves everything into his bag, and strikes a natural pose.

ALPHA WAYMOND (side of mouth): Talk to you soon.

His head goes limp.

DING. The elevator opens. Waymond's head lifts up and he looks around disoriented.

WAYMOND: Wow...what a fast elevator...

He walks out pushing a snoring Gong Gong, leaving Evelyn grasping for understanding. 

As she exits, her gaze lingers on the janitor closet to her right.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked that the story relied on people, not machines and gadgets, for the a-ha! moments.  It felt more real.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Written and directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

2023 OSCARS: Banshees of Inisherin (2022) - One Key to Writing Memorable Parts for Women

[Quick Summary: On a small Irish island of Inisherin in 1923, Padric is stunned when his fiddler friend Colm refuses to ever speak to him.]

I am impressed how well Martin McDonagh can write parts for women.  My first exposure was the two female leads in this early play, which blew my hair back.

How does he do it?  One key is that he is very observant of subtext.  He pays attention to the underlying dynamics women juggle, ex. societal expectations.

In the scene below:
- Padraic has been wrestling with why his friend Colm has suddenly changed.
- However, watch Siobhan, his sister, who is simultaneously having to juggle a sad Colm and neighbor Mrs. McCormick.
- Siobhan is required to host and attend to Mrs. McCormick in a way Padraic is not (societal norms).
- Also, the last lines of "hide behind walls" made me realize no one asked about Siobhan's dreams.  In taking care of everyone else, what's she suppressing?

INT. PADRAIC'S HOUSE - DUSK

PADRAIC, SIOBHAN & MRS. MCCORMICK, a spooky-looking, white faced, neighbor, 80, smoking a clay pipe through blackened teeth. SIOBHAN sews rose decorations on a black shawl, as PADRAIC refills the lamps around the room from a pail of Paraffin.

MRS. MCCORMICK: Is it six years since yere Mammy and Daddy died, Siobhan, or is it seven years since they died?

SIOBHAN: It's seven years, Mrs. McCormick, aye.

MRS. MCCORMICK: Is it seven years? Doesn't time be flying?

PADRAIC: Aye. When you're having fun.

SIOBHAN: Be off to the pub, now, Padraic, if you're going to be annoying us.

PADRAIC: I don't have to be down there every night, do I?

SIOBHAN almost double-takes, MRS. MCCORMICK just smirks.

MRS. MCCORMICK: ColmSonnyLarry's scared him off, I suppose.

PADRAIC: What did you hear of ColumSonnyLarry?

MRS. MCCORMICK: Didn't you and he used be the best of friends?

PADRAIC: We're still the best of friends.

MRS. MCCORMICK: No ye're not.

PADRAIC: Who says we're not?

MRS. MCCORMICK (pointing to SIOBHAN): She says!

PADRAIC: Ar for God's sake, Siobhan!

SIOBHAN: I said nothing of the like, Mrs. McCormick, I was just chatting! Now you go off to Jonjo's, Padraic, and don't be getting under our feet, sure Mrs. McCormick never gets a chance to come over for a chat...

SIOBHAN makes PADRAIC put on his coat.

PADRAIC: She never gets a chance cos you avoid her.

SIOBHAN: I do not avoid her!

PADRAIC: You hide behind walls if she's coming up the road!

SIOBHAN gives an embarrassed laugh as PADRAIC exits. She sits back down.

SIOBHAN: 'Hide behind walls'.

SIOBHAN tries to smile, but MRS. MCCORMICK just stares at her, smoking. they sit in awkward silence.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The Siohban part impressed me because there is a lot of emotional juggling for the actress to do, though it may not look like it on the page.

Banshees of Inisherin (2022)(June 29, 2021)
by Martin McDonagh

TODAY'S NUGGET: Melvin and Howard (1980) - What Does a "Well Fleshed-out Character" Look Like?

[Quick Summary: The adventures of down-on-his luck Melvin who rescues an unrecognizable Howard [Hughes], and may be left a fortune in the latter's will.]

I went into this script cold, as I prefer to do.  I did not know what it was about, nor much about the writer, nor who directed it. **  Could he hold my attention?

In short, yes, but I'm not sure how.  After Howard disappears (p. 23), it's mostly about Melvin's shambolic life (until the will shows up p. 101).

Yet I couldn't take my eyes off this odd character Melvin, who can't hold down a job, who keeps going back to his ex, and who makes up songs that he sings badly.

And that's what really shines in this script, more than plot.

The writer puts Melvin in odd circumstances, but it's his odd decision making, his reliance on the short term, that kept me reading.

For example, in the scene below:
- Melvin now works as a door-to-door dairy deliveryman.
- He is now hanging out with his dairy truck co-workers at the bar.
- He is sad that his ex left with the kids for the umpteenth time.
- Bill Matilla owns the bar and gave Melvin a break as a regular featured singer.
- Bonnie works in the cashier's office at the dairy. She has had her eye on Melvin at work, at church.
- Melvin has been goaded into singing his song and has just finished it.
- Notice how well fleshed out and realistic Melvin is.  We recognize he isn't necessarily impulsive, just trying to bet on a "sure thing."

LA HABRA - TIKI RESTAURANT

...Dead silence, then applause and cheering erupts. Melvin is shy on the stage, his friends, Pete and Ralph and George Rush over to him, lift him off the stage, the band strikes up -- Bonnie rushes to Melvin.

She throws her arms around him.

MELVIN (all embarrassed): Hey, that was nice. You married, Bonnie? 

BONNIE: No I'm not, Melvin Dummar. And neither are you any more.

Melvin waits.

BONNIE: So what do you say?

MELVIN (shrugs): Gee, I don't know, Bonnie.

BONNIE: I'll take care of you, Melvin -- til you get on your feet. I got my welfare money saved up ---

MELVIN: You on welfare, Bonnie --?

BONNIE: I got two kids ---

MELVIN: Oh my Lord ---

BONNIE: Listen Melvin, I got a cousin up in Utah -- lost his lease on a gas station -- we run it right we get a thousand a month clear -- I've been waiting for this moment -- and the moment is now -- so what do you say?!

Melvin hesitates.

BONNIE: Or don't you come swinging your dick around the cashier's office no more!

MELVIN: Bonnie? A Mormon girl -- swearing?!

BONNIE: Bet your ass.

Melvin looks over at Bill Matilla who is dancing with a Japanese hostess. Melvin shakes his head.

MELVIN: When do we leave?

BONNIE: Tonight.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite never being a dairy truck driver or a bar singer, I recognize Melvin, his habits, his attempts to bet on a winner. It's realistic.

I think that's what is meant by the term,  a "well fleshed-out" character.

Melvin and Howard (1980)(undated)
by Bo Goldman

* Though you may not have heard of double Oscar winning writer Bo Goldman (who is still alive), you will know some of the films that he's written: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (Oscar winner); The Rose, Scent of a Woman (Oscar nominated); Meet Joe Black; Rules Don't Apply.

** This was directed by Jonathan Demme, who later directed Something Wild, Silence of the Lambs.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Never Say Never Again (1983) - When You Need a Good Villain

[Quick Summary: When S.P.E.C.T.R.E steals American nuclear warheads, Bond investigates.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) HISTORY. For those who might not know this film's history, it's another adaption of the book Thunderball, and one of two Bond films not produced by EON Productions.

2) BORED? Having read 5 other EON produced scripts, I find this one lacks ...heart? Despite the danger, quips, gadgets, Bond feels mechanical, and uh, bored?

3) GOOD VILLAIN. However, this script does have a good villain, Fatima, a S.P.E.C.T.R.E. henchman, who has Jack, an American, in her clutches.

In the scene below:
- I felt real emotion for poor Jack as I see him suffer (vs. being told of it).
- Fatima holds the upper hand on his life (via his drug addiction) and his sister's life (real stakes).
- Fatima identifies his weaknesses and uses them against him.  This is one reason why we don't like her and she's a good villain.

INT. JACK'S ROOM - SHRUBLANDS - NIGHT

JACK sits on the BED. With shaking hands he reaches inside a SMALL OVERNIGHT BAG and takes out a pack of CIGARETTES and a small box of wooden MATCHES. His hands continue to shake as he struggles to ignite the match. Finally, it burns.

He inhales deeply. Beads of sweat are on his forehead. He inhales again; he beings to cough and shake. Hearing a sound from the corridor he quickly pitches the CIGARETTE into the fireplace and hides the cigarette PACK and MATCHES under the MATTRESS.  [The smoking = addicted to cigarettes. The sweating = likely addicted to some kind of drug.]

FATIMA enters. She stops short; locking the DOOR, she sniffs the air. JACK, his back to her, coughs weakly, unable to control himself. [His poor physical condition gives him away.]

FATIMA: Baby's been smoking again.

She slowly approaches JACK and turns his face to hers.

FATIMA (staring down at him): Baby was ordered not to smoke. Smoking is dirty, it gets into baby's eye.  [This baby talk is creepy.]

She suddenly yanks off the HEAD BANDAGE. It's METAL CLIP taking away a tuft of JACK'S hair and making him yell with pain. he bursts into a spasm of coughs and begins to hyperventilate. [Pulling of the hair is a good visceral detail.]

FATIMA: If baby wants his fix....

She takes a hypo needle attached to her thigh (garter belt). [Showing the audience her dominance.]

JACK takes a deep breath quieting his coughs.

FATIMA (continuing): Baby must do what he is told if baby wants his fast cars and pretty clothes, if baby wants to keep his sister alive, then baby's got to pay the price.

Suddenly violent, JACK rises and pushes FATIMA back, attacking her.

JACK: You leave DOMINO out of this....  [Jack still has fight in him! I root for you, Jack!]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked that I knew exactly what Fatima wants, and how far she is willing to go (both physical and psychological).  

I also like that her approach, though creepy, is unusual.

Never Say Never Again (1983)(dated Dec., 1982)
by Lorenzo Semple, Jr.
Original story by Kevin McClory & Jack Whittingham & Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) - A Good Sight Gag Has Layered Meanings

[Quick Summary: Bond and a female Russian operative search for missing submarines with nuclear warheads, leading them to the villain's underwater lair.]

I like sight gags, especially when they can be combined with call backs and foreshadowing, so the audience knows more than the characters.

Early in this script, the villain Stromberg fed his traitorous assistant to the sharks.  

Later, when Bond meets Stromberg, there is a sight gag (below).  It is also:
- a call back to the early scene,
- a foreshadowing of what Stromberg has in store for Bond,
- a clue to Bond there is danger ahead (an increase in the stakes).

INT. SITTING ROOM - ATLANTIS - DAY

...STROMBERG moves slowly round the room. BOND goes with him.

STROMBERG: I'm somewhat of a recluse. I wish to conduct my life on my own terms - and in surroundings with which I can identify. That is a privilege of wealth. 

BOND: You don't miss the outside world?

STROMBERG: For me, this is all the world.

He points to a shoal of beautiful, brightly coloured fish in the tank they are opposite.

STROMBERG: There is beauty...

He points to a hideously ugly fish.

STROMBERG: There is ugliness.

We see a fish with a head of a small fish protruding from its mouth.

STROMBERG: And there is death.

As he turns away, the menacing grey shadow of a shark appears behind the glass with a glimpse of murderous teeth. BOND watches it as it swoops down and up again, seeming to direct BOND's attention to the bottom of the tank. Lying there is a female hand with, on it, the rings and bracelets we have seen worn by the ASSISTANT. BOND turns at the sound of STROMBERG'S VOICE behind him.

STROMBERG (overlaid): I think you will find this interesting, Mr. Sterling.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the multiple layers of meaning to this one sight gag.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)(final shooting script, 8/23/76)
by Christopher Wood and Richard Maibaum
Based on the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Identity (2003) - How to Infuse Energy into Act 2 (Anticipation of Clues)

[Quick Summary: With a homicidal prisoner potentially on the loose, ten strangers, who are stranded at a lonely motel, are being killed off one by one.]

Q: If you had to sum up this script in word, what would it be?
A: ENERGY.

Q: Even in the dreaded act 2?
A: That's what made it so unusual!  The energy never flagged.

Q: Why is that?
A: Anticipation, i.e., with each clue revealed, the stakes rose for the survivors.

Q: Can you give a good example?
A: In the scene below, notice that our curiosity is lit with an audible clue
--> we see the aftermath of a horror scene, which keeps us curious
--> the characters find more clues
--> they realize what this means for them
--> and we have to turn the page to get to see if they're right.

EXT. COURTYARD -- NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS

In the rain-soaked earth, Ed finds --

A single shower curtain ring...Then another...

They lead like breadcrumbs from Caroline's room out and away to the rear of the motel. Ed follows them to the walkway of a rundown swimming pool half-filled with rainwater.

Then he notices -- THE SWINGING GATE -- leading out into the black desert. Thunder cracks.

And then he hears it...

A dull metallic thudding...Bang-bang... Bang-bang... He tries to distinguish it from the downpour... Bang-bang... Bang-bang...He heads off around the side of the building...  [Audible clue!]

INT. MOTEL LAUNDRY -- NIGHT

Darkness before Ed switches on the overhead fluorescent... Bang-bang... Bang-bang... THREE DRYERS ARE ON -- But one of them is making the noise... Bang-bang... Inside one of them, something inside is tumbling over and over...

Ed reaches out to a dryer door. Bang-bang... Bang-bang...Opens it... Nothing. It shuts off.

Ed cautiously opens the SECOND DRYER -- NOTHING... It shuts off.

Hesitantly, he opens THE THIRD DRYER -- And finds -- [By the Rule of 3, we expect something here, rhythmically in the story, but there is nothing.]

A pair of sneakers klunking round and round in the dryer. They come to a stop. Ed sighs -- but then notices --

EYES -- staring at him -- reflected in the circular glass on the dryer door -- [Then, BAM! Surprise clue!]

Ed spins around to face --

CAROLINE'S DECAPITATED HEAD staring at him from the fourth dryer cradle. Rhodes and Larry enter and freeze...

LARRY: Oh, Jesus Mother of God. That's a... (notices Ed's stony expression) ...you're real calm for a guy staring at a human head.

Ed considers this.

ED: She wasn't that human. [A little humor can't be bad.]

Rhodes kneels in front of the dryer and reaches inside.

ED (CONT'D): 'The hell you doing?

RHODES: ...There's something in there. [Another clue? Anticipation!]

Ed hands Rhodes a dryer sheet.

ED: Use this.

LARRY: ...You a cop?

Rhodes and Ed lock eyes.

ED: Not anymore.

Rhodes pulls out a BLOOD SOAKED OBJECT and examines it...

IT IS A MOTEL ROOM KEY -- NUMBER TEN. [Clue! What does it mean?!]

LARRY: Oh, man. That is fucked up.

ED: Was she in room ten?

LARRY (shakes his head, then points to Rhodes): ...They were.

ED (to Rhodes): Where's your guy?

RHODES (uneasy): ...'Cuffed to a toilet.  [Oh no!  Gotta turn the page to see if the prisoner guy is still in Rm. 10, or on the loose.]

                                                             CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that the stakes increased organically (threatened the characters in realistic way) vs. artificially (only there to get us from point A to B).

Identity (2003)(revised draft)
by Michael Cooney and James Mangold