TODAY'S NUGGET: The Chamber (1996) - Transitions = Preparing the Reader's Emotions

[Quick Summary: A new lawyer takes on a last minute death row appeal of a Klansman who killed two kids with a building bomb...and is also the attorney's estranged grandfather.]

Why do Goldman's scripts read like greased lightening?

One reason is that he takes the time (but not too much) to transition the reader's emotions for an upcoming curve ball, surprise, crisis, etc.*

I am always on the lookout for good transitions, as I find them particularly tricky.

In the example below, notice how we're being prepared for a pivotal moment:

- Scene A: We see Adam get upset over news. [Something is up.]
- Scene B: We see that he's nervous, agitated. [This news must mean a lot to him.]
- Scene C: He asks for a case that has upset him and is very personal. [Why?]

ex. "INT. ADAM'S OFFICE - CHICAGO - DAY

It's small, befitting an associate less than a year out of Law School. he breezes to the desk, flips on his computer, puts down the documents and coffee, places his briefcase on the credenza behind him, opens it, takes out some papers and file folders, places them on his desk. . . takes a look a the screen, clicks his mouse on something. . . then turns his back to the computer, takes off his jacket, hangs it on a hook, sits at his desk, opens the documents, takes a sip of coffee. . . takes another glance at the screen . . . and stops cold.

He gives the screen his full attention. There is something on it that drains the blood from his face. Finally he turns away with the look of one who knows the day he had dreaded has come.

He looks at the speaker button on his phone. Thinks. Hits it.

SECRETARY (O.S.): It wasn't de-caf, was it? I could get you some tea --

ADAM: I need to see Goodman. Now.

He clicks off.

INT. KRAVITZ & BANE - HALLWAY - DAY

A long hallway from Adam's office to the more senior offices. Adam emerges from his office and tries to control his nervousness as he walks the long walk.

INT. MR. GOODMAN'S OFFICE - DAY

E. GARNER GOODMAN has done one amazing thing in his life: he has been a practicing lawyer for forty years and has yet to do anything illegal. He is all tidy and neat. His office, on the other hand, is a zoo.  Bookcases sag from the strain, the floor is a minefield of piles of legal briefs.

GOODMAN: Have you lost your mind?

He is talking to Adam who is seated in a chair. Adam repeats:

ADAM: No. I am very serious. I want the Cayhall case...."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I had never really considered how important those on-ramps are before an emotional turn.  It makes a big difference in the reading experience.

The Chamber (1996)(shooting draft dated 4/16/96)
by William Goldman and Phil Alden Robinson and James Foley
Based on the novel by John Grisham

*FYI: Transitions are not just moving a character to a different location. 

In writer's lingo, "transitions" are a broad umbrella of things that help prepare the reader for a switch in emotional state.

For example:
- Setting up scene A so that scene B is a payoff (structure)
- Seeding a conflict in scene A so that it explodes in scene B (conflict)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Fierce Creatures (1997) - Exaggeration is Helpful for Satire

[Quick Summary: After a corporation buys a zoo and tries to corporatize it, the keepers rebel.]

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE: The second half of the script was a little strained.

WHAT I DID LIKE: The first half was much more solid, especially the use of exaggeration to emphasize the irony of a situation.

In the scene below, Octopus, Inc. has bought a zoo and wants to increase profits. 

Its executive, Rollo, has decreed that only Fierce Animals will draw crowds and will be allowed to stay.

Note the use of exaggeration and contrast, which makes us laugh.

ex. "EXT. COATIMUNDI ENCLOSURE AND ENVIRONS. DAY

ROLLO stands arguing with SYDNEY, PIP, DEREK, HUGH and others.  SYDNEY is inside the enclosure, holding a chair, which he occasionally uses, lion-tamer style.

ROLLO: Fierce??! That coatimundi...

He indiciates a Coatimundi, which is watching in a friendly manner. [A lion-tamer chair for a 2 foot, 8 lb. animal?!]

SYDNEY: It's a wild animal, sir. It's not domesticated.

ROLLO: Neither's a house fly and I wouldn't call that savage.

SYDNEY: You take a liberty with him and he'll give you a nasty nip. [Trying to make him sound ferocious.]

ROLLO: A safety pin could give me a nasty nip Lotterby. I'll tell you what's fierce: fierce is taking your whole hand off.

KEEPERS: Whole hand!?! No! Impossible! No!! [Aghast reactions are funny.]

ROLLO: (Walking away) Lotterby, could I have a word with you over here please

HUGH: It is all right if it wrenches the hand off?? [More exaggeration to make the animal sound fierce.]

ROLLO: Oh yes.

HUGH: Phew.

SYDNEY: (Showing a scar) That's what a coati did to me. Look! [Big exaggeration compared to the likely small scar.]

ROLLO: I'm surprised you lived. Now... 

ROLLO and SYDNEY have arrived at some cages. SYDNEY looks at them, winces, and then puts on a very positive, cheerful polite act.

ROLLO: ...These are your meerkats, correct?

SYDNEY: Er...yes sir.

ROLLO: (Pointing) On the new plaque here it says ... they're known as the 'Piranhas of the Desert'? Is that right? [Good exaggerated visual.]

SYDNEY: Yes sir, they can strip a human carcass in three minutes.  [Blood thirsty description!]

ROLLO: (Pulling out a book) My encyclopedia says they're easy to tame and are often kept as pets. (He shows SYDNEY the page) See?  [I like the contrast of 'tame' vs. 'piranha'.]

SYDNEY: Well, you haven't been attacked by one sir.

ROLLO: Nobody's been attacked by one, Lotterby (He moves on) Or if they have, they didn't notice... [He calls Sydney on the unlikely possibility of an attack.]

SYDNEY: They've got diabolical temperaments, sir..." [I give credit to Sydney for his commitment to his mission.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I laughed because the keepers created such an exaggerated fiction compared to the modest reality.  It was just simply ridiculous.

Fierce Creatures (1997)(9th draft, 4/4/95; originally titled Strictly Confidential)
by John Cleese and Iain Johnstone

TODAY'S NUGGET: American Buffalo (1996) - The Mamet Voice; Unusual Dialogue Format

[Quick Summary:  After Don, a junk shop owner with a shady side business, agrees to steal a valuable buffalo nickel with Teach, his protegee Bob brings bad news.]

Some Mamet plays translate to film, but this one does not for me.

I think it is still worth a read. Here are a few thoughts why:

1) The distinctive Mamet voice

- Like many Mamet original scripts,* this one follows a winding path.  It takes a little while before we know what the story is, but I like how it winds out and then back.

- The dialogue has a staccato tempo that meanders too, i.e., like real conversations.   

- It is more interested in the space between two people than plot (sorry, plot junkies).

2) The unusual use of parentheses in dialogue

This is the first time that I've seen the frequent use of parentheses like this.

There's no further instruction or description on what the parentheses mean, so I assume the dialogue is meant to be spoken in a low or soft voice.

Also, I noticed that as I saw more parentheses, they became a visual cue = "low voice" = automatically caused me to read between the lines a little more. 

In the scene below, Teach tries to persuade Don not to bring young Bob on board.  Notice how much is unspoken yet understood between the two old comrades.

ex.  "INT. JUNK SHOP - DAY
...Don crosses to his desk.

TEACH: It's hard to make up the rules about this stuff.

DON: (You'll be in there under lots of pressure.)

TEACH: (Not so much.)

DON: (Come on, a little, anyway.)

TEACH: (That's only natural.)

DON: (Yeah.)

TEACH: (It wouldn't be unnatural I wasn't tense. A guy who isn't tense, I don't want him  on my side.)

DON: (No.)

TEACH: (You know why?)

DON: (Yeah.)

TEACH: (Okay, then.) It's good to talk this stuff out.

DON: Yeah."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm not sure that I'd recommend frequent use of parentheses, but it works here.  It's nice to see something that I had not seen before.

American Buffalo (1996)(shooting script w/revisions, dated May-June, 1995)
by David Mamet
Adaptation from his play

*By "original," I mean scripts based on his original work or his plays.  I do not mean adaptations that he has written for others.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mother (1996) - Irony; Very Small Things; Entrenched

[Quick Summary: As an experiment, John, a twice divorced 40 y.o. man moves back in with his mother Beatrice to find out what is the root of his problems with women.]

Why is this script funny?

Because it made me chuckle a lot? Yes.

Because it was clever and multi-layered? Yes.

But mostly, I think it was the way it skewered family dynamics that are so, so familiar.  These characters are entrenched in their positions over very small things.

ex. "INT. SAFEWAY MARKET - DAY

...They stop at the jellies. There's Smucker's, Welch's, and all the standard brands. Then there's one luxury brand for $10.95. It's wrapped up in tissue paper and has a ribbon on it. John takes that. Beatrice almost has a heart attack.

BEATRICE: Oh, don't buy that.

JOHN: Why?

BEATRICE: Because that's a waste of money. You can get a whole jar here for $2.50. Why do you want to spend $10.95? [Arguing about...jelly = Very small things.]

JOHN: Cause this looks like good jelly and thank God we can afford it. Let's experience this together.

BEATRICE: I don't want this experience. You're fooled by these names and all that fancy wrapping. [She's convinced he's being taken.]

JOHN: I'm not fooled by anything. This is not what the experiment's about. It's not about being fooled. It's about splurging. See, I realized something. I think you treat yourself very cheaply, and I think that therefore you have instilled that into me. [He's convinced that she's seeing things narrowly.]

BEATRICE: Honey, I don't treat myself cheaply at all. I lived through a Depression. You didn't.

JOHN: Things aren't so great right now.

BEATRICE: Well it's not like it was in the thirties. You don't have to wait in line to buy bread.

John looks to his left. There's a huge line over by the bakery. The camera sees it. No one says anything. [Irony!]"

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked how the script poked fun at familiar situations using irony, very small things, and deep commitment to one's position.

Mother (1996)(final draft, June 1995)
by Albert Brooks and Monica Johnson