2026 OSCARS: Blue Moon (2025) - This is NOT the Payoff Speech You Expect (Creating an Ironic, Emotionally Satisfying Ending)

[Quick Summary: Lorenz Hart, formerly of the famous Rodgers-Hart duo, struggles with alcoholism and regret on the opening night of the new Rodgers-Hammerstein musical, "Oklahoma!".]

THREE THOUGHTS: 

1) THE PROCESS. In several recent interviews, actor Ethan Hawke spoke about director Richard Linklater's process with the script.*  The most interesting tidbits:

1) "Linklater is very patient." It's taken 10 years to get the script right.
2) Hawke said he knew this was a very small target they were aiming for. 
3) Each time they'd get a draft, Linklater would call it "another layer of paint."

2) THE SCRIPT. I think this patience and persistence paid off.  It's a very tight script (only 85 pgs.), happens all in one night, and mostly in one location.  

It's also a wonderful character piece on how Hart often got in his own way. 

3) PAYOFF THAT PAYS OFF. I imagine getting Hart right was very hard: 

- He was short, overlooked, and full of contradictions (ex. self-destructive and smart; gay, but hopelessly in love with a woman).
- He was both the biggest and smallest person in the room.
- Hawke said that Hart kept talking, talking, talking because he wouldn't be noticed if he stopped. 

What does the writer do with a character who won't shut up? Here, it was fascinating to see the unexpected irony that the writer used in the structure.

To be more specific, the writer allowed Hart to talk, talk, talk for 3/4th of the script, then the woman he loves shuts him up in the last 1/4th with a brilliant monologue.

For example, in the scene below:
- Hart is in love with Elizabeth, who is 20 yrs. younger.
- Hart hasn't told her how he feels about her.
- She's still at Yale and stuck on Cooper, a friend's boyfriend and a junior at Yale.
- She thinks of Hart as a confidante, but doesn't ask much from him except to listen.
- He knows he's gay, but feels seen by her. It's the closest thing to love for him.
- At the party for "Oklahoma!," they go into a closet to have some privacy.
- She tells him about her humiliating 20th birthday with her crush, Cooper.
- On her birthday, they tried to have sex, but Cooper was too drunk and nervous. 
- A week later, Cooper asked her to dinner. They meet at his fraternity.
- This is one of Hart's most important scenes, and it's all in his reaction.
- Note that he's been talking all this time, self-absorbed -- until this moment when SHE becomes more important.
- Also, this is only part of Elizabeth's speech.  I'd highly recommend you read it in its entirety. It's a high wire act.  One of the best of deeply felt, exposing speeches for a female character.  

INT. SARDI'S BAR - ENTRANCE AREA - CONTINUOUS

...COAT ROOM AREA

ELIZABETH: In spades. I mean, it's suddenly pouring. We're practically tearing each other's clothes off. There is no conversation. And this time there is no difficulty. Not the first time. Not the second time.

HART: Stop.

ELIZABETH: He says to me, "Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth," and, you want to hear the unbelievable ending to this sordid little story That was the last time I saw him. That was November - over four months ago. I was absolutely sure he'd call. If only to have sex again, right? No. Never. I thought he'd write. No. So I call him, of course. He couldn't get off the phone fast enough.  So I wrote to him a four-page typed letter. Single-spaced. No response....

I tell myself it was like a fever dream, you know? And, maybe, the fever finally broke. And it all sounds sane and sensible, but, you know something, if he called me right now, right this very second, I'd drop everything in my life and drive three hours, drive thirty hours just to spend one more night with him. What is the matter with me, Larry? 

HART: Why would you drive thirty hours to see someone who treated you like that?

ELIZABETH: Because I'm in love with him?

HART: ...You are?

ELIZABETH: It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic. And this is not the first time this has happened to me. It keeps happening to me. I feel like I can't see people clearly. 

She struggles to take a deep breath. He takes out his pocket handkerchief and hands it to her. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This payoff ending was emotionally satisfying because:
- The first 3/4 of the script (Hart talking) builds up to this last 1/4 (Hart silenced).
- This speech delivers a comeuppance to Hart in an unusual way.
-  I expected him to talk over her. Hart's silence thwarted my expectations.
- Hart shows us how he was his own worst enemy, and the structure mimics it.

Blue Moon (2025)(1/9/25 conformed script)
by Robert Kaplow
Inspired by the letters of Lorenz Hart and Elizabeth Weiland 

* For example: here, here, and here.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Empire of the Sun (1987) - The Art of Planting Symbols with Misdirection (Setup)

[Quick Summary: A 11 y.o. English school boy struggles to survive in China during the Japanese occupation of WWII.]

I didn't read this because it was directed by Steven Spielberg, starred Christian Bale, or that it was based on author J.G. Ballard's life.

I was interested because it was written by playwright Tom Stoppard, who knows how to structure for the most dramatic effect.*

For example, the scene below does not seem to be hiding anything:
- Jim's parents are taking him to a party in nearby Chinese countryside.
- There are several English speaking Brits and Americans in the community.
- Mr. Maxted is a fellow party attendee.
- After Jim wanders off after his toy plane, the audience thinks it knows what this scene is about: a fearful encounter with a Japanese sergeant. 
- The audience doesn't really notice the toy plane, which will become an important symbol later for Jim.
- This scene a setup for a much deeper payoff near the end of the film. 
- The misdirection of the scene is that there is more than one meaning, but we'll only know it later, when we recall this scene.
- It's real artistry to know the dramatic effect this will have on the audience later, i.e., the recall to this scene is much more emotionally satisfying rather than spelling it out explicitly.

EXT. ABANDONED AIRFIELD - DAY

...JIM'S POV - THE MODEL PLANE 

sails quite a ways and lands on top of a ruined blockhouse. Jim runs after it and starts climbing up the slope. From his vantage point, Jim sees a FULLY-ARMED JAPANESES SOLDIER looking up at him from a trench only a few yards away. Then he sees that there are MORE SOLDIERS sitting along the whole length of the trench...and that there is a second trench also full of JAPANESE SOLDIERS, sitting and smoking and glancing up at Jim. He has come across a company of Japanese infantry concealed on the old battlefield. As Jim watches, a JAPANESE SERGEANT gets to his feet casually picking up his rifle and stamping out a cigarette. The sergeant climbs out of the trench and, ignoring Jim, moves to start cutting off Jim's retreat. Sighing quietly to himself, the sergeant starts to climb up the slop toward Jim. Jim is now frightened. Jim's father's voice is HEARD calling from the distance. 

JIM' FATHER (os): Jamie!

The sergeant stops climbing and looks thoughtful.

We SEE Jim's father, still dressed as a pirate, anxiously searching the field and calling Jim's name. From where he is, Jim's father can see the Japanese sergeant and more Japanese  infantry half-concealed in the grass. Then he sees Jim approach in the distance. Jim's father makes to start running. He is immediately stopped by Maxted's level voice.  

ANOTHER ANGLE

We see Maxted has also moved into the airfield.

MAXTED: Stand still, John.

Jim's father holds his breath while Jim approaches, skirting another trench, watched by Japanese soldiers.

JIM'S FATHER (frightened): Hello, Jamie. Don't run.

Jim reaches his father and they turn and walk back hand-in-hand toward the house, Maxted also waiting for them on their way. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Another way to conceal information from the audience is to put it in the scene, but add a more imminent threat as the misdirection.

Empire of the Sun (1987)(undated draft)
by Tom Stoppard
Based on the novel by J.G. Ballard

*As a side note, I felt less alone when I read this quote from Stoppard that he also lacked understanding of his own processes: 

“If there’s anything God-given about writing, with me it’s the gift of dialogue,” says Tom Stoppard. “Not to be falsely self-deprecating about this in a nice English way: I know I write nice dialogue. But I don’t know how I write nice dialogue.” 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Married to the Mob (1988) - How to Not Lose the Reader, Despite Various POV

[Quick Summary: After her mobster husband is murdered by his boss, Angela is determined to make a new life with her son, but the mob won't leave her alone.]

Q: What sets this script apart for you?  
A: It captures different points of view, but never loses focus on the protagonist.

Q: How does it do it?  Especially maintaining such clarity? 
A: I think it's the unity of the subject matter.  There's a variety of points of view, but they're all about the same subject, i.e., Angela.

For example, in the scene below:
- Angela is a sweet woman, who was oblivious to the shenanigans of Sal, her dead mobster husband.  Everyone makes assumptions about her. 
- Tony, Sal's best friend, is the head mobster. 
- Tony is married to Connie and is afraid of her.
- Tony killed Sal because Sal was sleeping with Tony's side girlfriend.
- Tony wants to sleep with Angela, and keeps tabs on her, even after she's moved away.
- Tony and his underling Tommy show up at Angela's new apartment.
- Note the multiple points of view (Connie, Ed, Mike, Tommy, Tony). Each segment adds important information, AND they're united by the subject matter, Angela.
- Also note how: a)  the unity of subject matter, plus b) CAPITALIZED location slugs helps the reader easily switch points of view. This is great clarity of writing.

EXT. RIVINGTON STREET - AT THAT MOMENT

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Angela, Tony and Tommy come out of the building and pause on the steps. 

TOMMY: Look, Ange, Rose wants to have you out for dinner next week. How's Thursday?

ANGELA: I really don't think...

TOMMY: Or Friday?

ANGELA: Umm...

TOMMY: Or any night that's good for you.

ANGELA: I tell you, Tommy...I'm so busy with the move, getting set up and everything. I don't even know if we're gonna stay here. Why don't I give you a call when I get settled?

TOMMY (disappointed): Sure, I understand. But don't forget, okay? Promise?

ANGELA (squirming): Sure, Tommy.

TOMMY: Take care, Angie. If you need anything...

ANGELA: Thanks, Tommy. So long.

He gives her a big hug and heads for the car.

DOWN THE BLOCK

peering over the steering wheel of the white Cadillac is Tony's worst nightmare -- Connie. She watches with keen interest.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

TONY: It was great seeing you, Angela.

Tony takes Angela's hand. She stiffens. He plants a gentle kiss on her hand while looking into her eyes.

IN THE WHITE CADILLAC

Connie watches as Tony kisses Angela's hand. Connie's worst suspicions are confirmed. She's absolutely livid.

FROM A BASEMENT STAIRWELL

Ed video-tapes Tony and Angela. Connie's white Cadillac zooms past.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Tony gives Angela a meaningful look.

TONY (in Italian): Ci vediamo, cara.

Tony gets into the car and Tommy drives off. Angela is emotionally exhausted.

ANGELA (moans): Oh, God.

AT THE FIFTH FLOOR WINDOW

Mike has seen Tony's farewell. Mike shakes his head ruefully as he watches Angela walk down the street. He moves away from the window.

AT THE CORNER

Angela stops in front of the "Hello, Gorgeous!" beauty salon. IN the window there's a mirror with an inscription reading: ARE YOU READY FOR A BRAND NEW YOU? Angela looks at her reflection in the mirror. She can see that the events of the day have caught up to her. She tugs at her Chez Ray hairdo, obviously displeased. Then Angela notices a sign in the window that reads: "Help Wanted." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: To keep things clearer for the reader, create sign posts in the structure for the audience, ex. unity of subject matter + capitalized locations.

Married to the Mob (1988)(7/14/87 draft)
by Barry Strugatz & Mark R. Burns

TODAY'S NUGGET: My Favorite Wife (1940) - Making It Easy for the Audience to Follow Trickster Characters (Structure)

[Quick Summary: After being missing for 7 years, an anthropologist returns to find her husband has just re-married that day.]

I love Cary Grant as a "trickster" character in screwball comedies because he often paint himself into a corner. How will he get out of this?!

Tricksters make wild decisions on a whim, causing many twists and turns.  Thus it is important to keep the story line fairly straightforward and relatable.

ex. This script's structure has a lot of twists and turns:
- Ellen, an anthropologist on an expedition, is presumed dead at sea.
- It turns out she's spent the last 7 years on a deserted island.
- She returns to find her husband Nick has just married wife #2, Bianca.  
- Nick finds out Ellen is not only alive, but had been on the island with Mr. Burkett, a fellow traveler on the ship.
- Ellen brings in a fake Burkett to meet Nick.
- Nick brings the real Burkett to confront Ellen.
- However, the real Burkett surprises them by declaring he wants to marry Ellen. 
- Despite all this ruckus, note that the simple jealousy story line makes it easy for the audience to follow the action.
- I also liked the smart (but hard to pull off) structural twist: Nick must choose between two wives --> It flips to Ellen now must choose between two husbands. 

Here's a sample of showing jealousy.  Note how it doesn't rush the emotions:

 EXT. GARDEN - DAY

...MED. CLOSE SHOT - of Nick, as he watches, fascinated apparently.

LONG SHOT - Burkett, beautifully build, ascends the lower diving board. He leaps from the diving board and catches the rings in mid-air. 

CLOSE SHOT - as the figure swirls through an intricate movement, every muscle showing.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as his head moves from left to right with Burkett's movements.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Burkett, as his chest expands to the breaking point.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as he stares, horrified.

LONG SHOT - as Burkett completes a complicated maneuver.

LONG SHOT - as the spectators burst into spontaneous applause.

MED. CLOST SHOT - as Nick feebly joins in applause.

LONG SHOT - figure still swinging.

                                                                               DISSOLVE

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Trickster characters are inherently contradictory and conflicted, i.e., interesting to watch. Thus, keep the plot simple.

Also, take your time allowing the emotions to rise/fall, as in the scene above. Most of the fun is watching tricksters squirm and evade problems. 

My Favorite Wife (1940)(undated draft)
by Bella & Sam Spewack
Story by Bella & Sam Spewack, and Leo McCarey

2025 OSCARS: The Substance (2025) - The Line That Begins an Emotional Transition Sequence

[Quick Summary: An aging fitness star tries the Substance to allow her younger self to exist, but it turns dark when the latter wants more than 7 allotted days at a time.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I was impressed that about 90% of this film occurs in a single apartment, but never feels short changed.  I can identify two reasons:

a) The Substance process is secretive, which lends itself to a single location. 

b) Its superb emotional transitions are sequenced very well to topple from each other like dominoes, and keep the audience so absorbed that it doesn't notice.  

As an example of an emotional transition, I chose the first sentence (below):
- This sentence starts the arc of the emotional transition.
- Because transitions rely on context, by their nature, I've included the rest of the scene to show the entire arc of the transition.
- Previous to this scene, Elisabeth dumped a USB stick that advertised The Substance.
- The action of dumping wilted flowers is both how Elisabeth feels (disgust) and a metaphor for her life. 
- Dumping flowers (disgust) + the USB retrieval (hope) = Shows Elisabeth's conflict of emotions.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

...Elisabeth grabs the wilted flowers from the table, heads to the kitchen and...

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

...throws them in the trash can.

BLACK

A long silent beat.

CLACK - LOW ANGLE SHOT FROM INSIDE THE TRASH CAN WHICH OPENS AGAIN - revealing Elisabeth's face framed by the black can.

She leans over, sticks her hand inside the black bucket...

...and retrieves the USB stick, covered in sticky residue. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I thought this was a good example of how an audience grasps a character's emotional transition through a sequence of the character's actions (structure).

Also, it was illuminating how the writer kept it simple: one sentence, one action.  She didn't try to overload each sentence with too much business.

The Substance (2024)(5/3/22 draft)
by Coralie Fargeat

TODAY'S NUGGET: Turning Point (1977) - Delivering an Emotionally Satisfying End of Character Arc

[Quick Summary: A former dancer faces her decision to give up ballet, after her daughter joins a NYC company that features her (the mother's) former competitor.]

This week's script was a huge pop cultural sensation when it was released.* 

Perhaps one of the reasons is how the writer delivered emotionally satisfying endings, for both mother and daughter separately.

For example, in the scene below:
- Emilia, the daughter who has just joined this NYC company, has been dating Yuri, a very talented fellow dancer. 
- She's been wrapped up in him, thinking they're a couple.
- However, he's been seeing other women without telling her.
- This hits her hard, but it matures her. 
- How does the writer show the triumphant end of her character arc? Through her changed behavior. 
- Notice how she is no longer swayed by every emotion and  keeps it professional ("better give me more support").
- Also note that the fruits of the maturity are not just in private, but also in public ("she smiles -> but not for him -> it's a performer's smile").

INT. MISKOFF THEATRE - UNDER THE STAGE - NIGHT

...She starts to pull away, but he, holding her, makes her dance and then lifts her up in the air just as Wayne lifted Deedee. He smiles up at her.

YURI (coaxing): Emilia...?

She looks down at him. He is very handsome, very appealing. She inclines down just a little, then stops. Cool, confident:

EMILIA: You better give me more support tomorrow night.

He adjusts their position.

CLOSE SHOT - EMILIA

Now she smiles. But not for him. It is a performer's smile, a ballerina smile. Her head goes up, her back arches gracefully and as her hands and arms reach up, her whole body shoots up through the ceiling.

INT. STAGE  - MINSKOFF THEATRE

And there she is, on stage, in full costume and makeup, dancing with Yuri and dancing magnificently. They are perfect together -- as partners on stage. They finish spectacularly and applause breaks like a cloudburst.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked the description "her whole body shoots up through the ceiling" because it's not only how the character felt, but also how I felt going through the arc with the character. 

Turning Point (1977) 
by Arthur Laurents

*Also, it garnered 11 Oscar nominations, including ones for actors Anne Bancroft, Shirley MacLaine, Mikhail Baryshnikov, and writer Arthur Laurents (his only nomination).

TODAY'S NUGGET: Two for the Road (1967) - Rare, Innovative Use of Flashback (Or, The Oscar Nominated Script Everyone Turned Down)

[Quick Summary: A troubled couple, married for ten years, go on a road trip in the south of France.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) REJECTION: When your script is the most forward thinking, seamless use of flashback that has been seen, everyone is going to turn you down.*

2) NEW USE OF FLASHBACK:Newer writers tend to use flashback to explain backstory (please avoid the lazy exposition dump).  

Wiser writers eventually realize that it can be used to show the character's past emotions are also the present ones (like here, here, here).

But the really rare writers, like Frederic Raphael (Far From the Maddening Crowd, Eyes Wide Shut) find another innovative way in. 

On the DVD commentary, director Stanley Donen stated:

I think this one of the [] major differences in the way we reorganized this movie....It wasn't simply a flash from one period back to another one and back to the present what we were trying to do was say that all sequences in this movie are the present. Everything you see in their life is carried with them from the beginning of their relationship until the end of their lives. So that every sequence would feel just as present as any other. There was no one time in the picture when we said, "This is the time period of the picture." The picture is the entire period, is the present. (bold mine)

The result is that the script slips from present to past WITHOUT any time stamp in the slugline, as if it is all present.  But how does one not confuse the reader?

 

I think it's because the clarity of writing is exceptional.  In particular, the writer understands how to transition emotions by the juxtaposition of images.

 

In the scene below:

- Notice how few words were used to indicate the shift in time.
- There are several time periods: a) When the couple when they met (past); b) When they went on a trip with Cathy and family (past); c) When they're older (present). 

- Can you spot the moment of the time shift and emotional shift?

INT. CITROEN (2 CV). DAY.  [Here, M & J begin debating.]

...JOANNA: No?

MARK: But no, but no. The nicely brought up American girl may play it cool and modern, but what she wants is what her grandmother wanted --

Joanna produces a banana and offers it to Mark.

 

EXT. ROADSIDE. DAY. [J confronts M.]

The banana skin flung into the ditch. 

MARK (over): Your head stuffed and mounted on the living-room wall!

Mark and Joanna are hitching along the roadside again.

MARK: And if you don't want it that way, take your loving self elsewhere - I'm speaking quite generally, of course.

JOANNA: Of course. Who was she?

MARK: Whaddaya mean?

He grins and hands her a peach.

INT. CAB. GIANT ARTICULATED LORRY. DAY. [M defends --> ends with transition visual]

Joanna bites the peach.

MARK: Her name was Cathy Seligman, if you must know.

Joanna offers the Driver some grapes off the bunch. He smiles at her agreeably and takes some. The lorry has eased away from us somewhat and the cab slides forward out of shot.

EXT. THE ROAD. DAY. [Completed transition to new visual, new emotional dynamic, new time period.]

The articulated lorry moves forward to clear the frame.

MARK (O.S.) Selfish, grasping, Philistine, materialistic, stubborn, opinionated - I was crazy about her.

The lorry clears the frame and we pick up the car which appears to follow it (without a cut). It is a Ford station wagon with four Adults and a Child in it. Tags hang from the luggage on the roof.

EXT. THE NAME HOWARD MAXWELL MANCHESTER IS ON THEM. [This image is an ironic contrast to his words.]

Cathy is looking out of the window.

MARK (as we hold on Cathy): Mrs. Howard Maxwell Manchester, no less, Luckily for you, you'll never be called up to spend too much time in her company.

Cathy is very pretty and doesn't look quite as vampirish as Mark's young tongue suggested. It is some three years later and the Manchesters and the Wallaces are making a joint expedition, as we shall shortly see.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: To me, the transitions are seamless, so that the flashbacks - visually, emotionally, story wise.- feel like they're all a whole.

 

This is one of those structures that's hard to explain verbally.   Even Donen's pitch to Audrey Hepburn was met with skepticism, until she read the script.

Two for the Road (1967)

by Frederic Raphael

* On the DVD commentary, famed director Stanley Donen said that studios couldn't envision how the flashback structure would work:

 

"I suppose that is why the readers of the script couldn't grasp what was going to come over on film...

...‎...[E]very other company in town [except 20th Century Fox] turned down the script. They all felt the picture was far too complicated for anyone to possibly understand. And there was no way that people could follow what was going on the way Frederic Raphael and I had planned this scheme of time throughout the film. I wrote a little letter at the head of the script saying to everyone,"Please, when you read this script, pay particular attention to everything that is said, every word of time, and so on. But please, take my word for it, when you see it, there will be no problem at all. You'll just sit back and relax. The picture will unfold before you, and you will not have any problem not knowing which stage the events are happening." However, in spite of my plea, no one believed in the picture, except Dick Zanack and David Brown, who I am happy to say, gave me the money to make the film."

 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Blow-Up (1966) - Use the Search/Process to Flip Expectations

[Quick Summary: A photographer follows a couple in the park, and unwittingly may have photographed a murder.]

In its day, audiences buzzed about this film because of the nudity, and orgy scene.*

However, it remains a significant film because it broke new ground in how to tell a story, and influenced many other filmmakers later.**

I went into this script cold and was not surprised that not all the loose ends get tied up by the ending.  However, I did learn two things:

1) Antonioni is not interested in plot, but rather "the perceptive nature of reality and the often baffling relationship of truth and perception." 

In fact, Antonioni himself stated: 

The search for reality in a photographed image provides the central plot for Blow-up.

2) Use the search/process, not the answer, to flip expectations.   

Many scripts about getting to the answer.  This one is about the search/process.

It is heavy with photos + people, and exploring how the two interact.  Is reality in the photos? Outside the photos? What is truth? Or was it my perception?

The writers use that dynamic to flip our expectations.

For example, in the scene below:
- Thomas (photographer) has just caught Girl trying to steal his camera from his studio.
- He'd taken photos of her and her older lover earlier in the park.
- She has just asked what he wants for the photos, and taken her top off.
- Note the moment she flips [brackets below] from chasing the photos (her past) to disregarding them for the present. Is reality in those images or in this studio?
- Note how he reacts to her interest in him>> the photos.  Is it truth or only his perception?

Resume on the Girl. She puts her blouse down and stands waiting. They look at each other, suddenly serious and tense. Camera moves with Thomas as he goes up to her, ducking under the plume rack, and places his hands on her shoulders.
He looks at her silently.
Reverse angle shot of them looking at one another. He moves away and she turns to look at him.

THOMAS: Get dressed. I'll cut out the negatives you want.

He goes off down the gangway leading to the darkrooms. He opens the purple door of the first one.
Inside the darkroom the door slides open, revealing Thomas in close-up. Camera follows him as he goes to the table and takes the reel from the camera. He toys with it, as if still undecided whether to give it to her or not. Then he puts it out of sight and picks up another roll of film, and turns back to the door.
He comes back into the studio and looks round, toying with the film still in hand.  At first glance it seems the Girl has disappeared. The music is now cool, quiet jazz.
The Girl's legs are visible but the rest of her body is obscured by the lilac back-drop.  He pulls it from the wall and looks behind it. She is standing still, half-naked, with her arms folded across her breasts. Thomas comes toward her behind the purple paper, holding it back, then letting it fall, obscuring them both from view.
Thomas comes up to the Girl and tosses her the roll of film.
She takes it and moves away, camera following her. But after one or two steps she stops and turns back. She looks at Thomas almost tenderly. Then gives him a kiss. A fleeting kiss. And again moves away. [Flip moment: She's gotten what she came for. Why doesn't she flee?]
This time it is his turn to follow her. She stands in close-up against the purple screen, and he takes her in his arms, holds her tight and kisses her. This, too, is brief.
Then, with an arm round her shoulders, he leads her gently towards the bedroom. As they pass, camera tracks in rapidly to the Girl's blouse as she tosses the reel of film onto it.
They reach the doorway to the bedroom. She wraps her arms round his neck...when the doorbell rings. They both pause.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Since this script is not driven by a formula or "find X," I found these flip moments much more interesting.

Blow-Up (1966)
by Michelangelo Antonioni and Tonino Guerra; English dialogue in collaboration with Edward Bond
Inspired by a short story by Julio Cortazar

*Interestingly, Roger Ebert notes that today's audiences might consider them tame, and would likely be more offended by the photographer's contempt of his models. 

***Including Coppola's The Conversation (1974) and de Palma's Blow Out (1981).

TODAY'S NUGGET: Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie) - When Exposition + Confrontation is All Done IN CHARACTER

[Quick Summary: In 1932, after the Lindbergh baby was ransomed (and then killed), the police pinpoint a carpenter with the money, but was he the kidnapper?]

GOOD SIGN #1: I lost track of time when I read this script.

GOOD SIGN #2: It upended my expectations - it begins with the police officer cleaning out his desk ("I was right"), but then we're shown why he was wrong.

Playwright, novelist, documentarian, screenwriter William Nicholson understands character.*  He also understands structure, which is why the script is so good.

For example, the scene below:
- This is not only exposition and confrontation, but it is all done IN CHARACTER. 
- Dr. Condon is a boaster, who is convinced Hauptmann is guilty.
- Parker, a detective, confronts him with contrary testimony.
- Now caught in a lie, Dr. Condon blusters his way through a response.
- Note Dr. Condon begins with exposition of what happened that night. It is interesting because it's true to his boasting character (contradicted few lines later).

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Dr. John Condon, orange blossom in hand, is telling his tale a fascinated audience of FELLOW DRINKERS. After many a telling, he has honed his story into quite a performance.

Parker enters while he speaks, and gets himself a drink, and listens.

CONDON: The cemetery's dark. Hauptmann is nervous, I can tell. I lead him to a bench. "Don't be afraid", I tell him. "We're alone." He gets calmer.  "Have you got the money?", he says. I way, "Wait, wait. Tell me your name." I'm playing for time, I want to get him talking, you understand. Give himself away somehow. He says, "Call me John." "Well John", I say, "Did you ever think of your own mother?" He's silent for a moment. Then, very low, "Yes", he says, and a tear comes into his eye. "Would I burn", he says, "if the baby's dead?"

This is greeted with a satisfying gasp from his appreciative audience.

LATER -

Dr. Condon is seated at a corner table with Parker, having accepted his offer of a drink.

CONDON: It's a tragic tale, a tragic tale, but perhaps some good can come out of it. I want no more children snatched from their cribs.

PARKER: Would you like to take a look at this, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: What is it?

PARKER: It's a copy of your interview with the police in the Bronx, shortly after Hauptmann's arrest.

Condon waves it away.

CONDON: So much heartbreak. We must look forward, not back.

PARKER: Perhaps you've forgotten what you said back then. You were unable to identify Hauptmann as the man you met in the cemetery. You were then warned that you yourself were under suspicion, as a possible accessory to the crime.

CONDON: I don't recall.

PARKER: Later you changed your evidence and identified Hauptmann, in court, as the man you met in the cemetery. Was that new testimony given under pressure, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: You mean, did I lie?

PARKER: I'm just trying to establish why you changed your evidence.

Condon's reply builds up into a spectacular display of outraged innocence. As his voice grows ever louder, all eyes in the bar are drawn to the little group in the corner.

CONDON: No sir, I did not lie. Who are you to walk in here and call me a liar? I offered my services to Colonel Lindbergh with no hope of reward. I have given thousands of hours of my life, and I am an old man, sir, there is little enough of my life left, thousands of hours, for the sake of justice, and my country, and yes, for that little murdered angel, and you come in here and accuse me of lying?

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  The structure of this scene (exposition, then confrontation) is wonderful.  

However, I noticed it was not really the dialogue, but the character (Condon's reaction) that was so riveting. 

Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie)(10/4/95, revised)
by William Nicholson
Based on the book, "The Airman and the Carpenter," by Ludovic Kennedy

*According to IMDB, actress Debra Winger won an Oscar nomination for Shadowlands (1993). She praised Nicholson's script to New York Times by calling it "the most literate script I've ever read. I was sad every day that I wouldn't ever say those lines again."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Copycat (1995) - Invisible (Yet Clear) Transitions During Rising Conflict

[Quick Summary: An agoraphobic psychologist must overcome fear to work with a homicide detective hunting a copycat serial killer.] 

I am always interested in reading scripts by Frank Pierson (Dog Day Afternoon, Cool Hand Luke) or Jay Presson Allen (Prince of the City, Cabaret).*

So I was surprised to stumble across this script with them both listed.**

Both of them have put in a lot of hours in the salt mines, which I think it shows best in how they craft the transitions.  

One way I like to judge transitions is whether the script can direct the mind's eye crisply from shot to shot, or into and out of a scene (good flow), without confusion.

I give extra bonus points for the fewest amount of words (economy).

Here is a great example below.  Notice the clarity of rising conflict and flow (people on shore --> body in water --> boats --> doc --> cop). 

EXT. BAYSIDE RESTAURANT - BELVEDERE OR SAUSALITO - DAY

A BRIGHT LOVELY DAY, PEOPLE DINING AND DRINKING IN THE SUN, on a deck that faces the Bay and San Francisco's towers beyond. Young people, drinks in hand, dressed to go to a summer wedding, mingle and laugh and chatter. A young woman stands leaning back against the wooden rail, her back to the Bay. A young man faces her, talking, laughing. HE LEANS CLOSE TO WHISPER IN HER EAR AND SHE LEANS BACK, DRAWING HIM CLOSER TO HER - SEXY! AS HE WHISPERS HE CAN SEE OVER HER SHOULDER INTO THE WATER BELOW.

REVERSE, CLOSE: YOUNG MAN - His face registering horror at what he sees: he shops speaking, and the GIRL turns to look down to see what it is he's looking at, and begins to SCREAM...

THEIR P.O.V.

Below, floating in the water is ANDY, wearing his bright jacket, except it's not all of Andy. HIS HEAD IS MISSING.

                                                                                            CUT TO:

REVERSE: (TIME HAS PASSED). FROM WHAT WOULD BE ANDY'S P.O.V. - FACES LOOKING DOWN   M.J., QUINN, SAKS AND CORONER'S MEN...

THEIR P.O.V.     NOW RUBBER BOATS HAVE BEEN TIED IN A RING AROUND THE BODY. DOC IS DOING HIS WORK, PREPARATORY TO LIFTING THE BODY OUT OF THE WATER...

HE PULLS A WALLET OUT OF THE POCKET AND HOLDS IT UP TO THE PEOPLE ABOVE.

M.J. TAKES IT. BEGINS TO LOOK THROUGH IT...    SHE IS NUMB WITH EXHAUSTION AND SORROW.

                                                                                         CUT TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was really impressed that I didn't notice the transitions at all.  Somehow it was one less barrier to experiencing the characters' P.O.V.

Copycat (1995)(3rd draft, dated 7/4/94)
by Frank Pierson and Ann Biderman and Jay Presson Allen

* For further reading, these are excellent interviews: Pierson, Allen.

**They're not formally credited, so I presume this was a re-write job.

TODAY'S NUGGET: None But the Lonely Heart (1945) - Hiding a Setup in Plain Sight for Later Betrayal

[Quick Summary: When a wanderer returns home to help his mother run a pawn shop, they both secretly turn to crime to make ends meet.]

I should've known that Clifford Odets* would deliver another complex stunner. 

His script here is extremely well-written. It reads fast, very free and natural. 

When I looked closer, though, I was amazed how difficult it is on a craft level (ensemble, deep themes, 2-3 story lines, etc.)

Today I will focus on his use of a setup for a later betrayal (I never saw it coming!)

In the story:
- Ernie has been wandering all over the UK. 
- He runs out of money and returns home to Ma, a tough, honest pawn shop owner. 
- Ma is brusque but kind to Ernie: You can either stay for good or go. 
- Ma tells Ike, a long time friend and fellow pawn shop owner, about the cancer, but not Ernie. Ike gives Ernie a job fixing a clock to give him some funds.

In the scene below:
- Notice how kind Ike is to everyone - Ernie, Lesser, a random old lady.
- Notice also we're focused on Ike's discomfort at relaying bad news AND he's doing Ernie a favor. How will Ernie take it?
- Notice that this DOES NOT look like a setup for a later payoff, i.e., There is plenty of drama to occupy our attention for now...only much later will we recall this scene and grasp it was a setup when Ernie betrays Ike later. 

Ike's assistant, little Mr. Lesser, comes in from the shop, a ring in his hand.

LESSER: She wants a quid on this - an old lady.

IKE (looking at the ring): Give it to her - an old lady, Mr. Lesser. (Sighing) Everything with a kiss.

LESSER (shaking his head as he walks out): Clocks, clocks...tick tock.

ERNIE: Best I could do with that old main spring.

IKE (as he picks up the clock, looks it over, and puts it down): Tick tock, tick tock... (Then) Did you ever realize your mother was once upon a time maybe the most beautiful woman in the East End of London? (Ernie looks up, surprised at this irrelevancy. Ike continues soberly and shrewdly.) In the old days, I mean.

ERNIE (puzzled): What about it?

IKE: Excuse me if I put a flea in your ear. Your mother is a very sick woman...

Ernie slowly stands up. He looks tightly at the old man.

ERNIE: You owe me two pounds, Mr. Weber. Pay it an' I'll be on my way.

Silently Ike takes some bills from his pocket and gives them to Ernie. Ernie puts on his cap and starts out through the front of the shop, the dog after him. He passes the counter where Lesser is polishing some rings. About to leave the shop, Ernie stops with his hand on the doorknob. Then he slowly turns, calling back sarcastically, hand still on the knob.

ERNIE: What's it she's got? A pain for her no-good son?

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This is a very sophisticated setup because it doesn't look, smell, or sound like a setup.

In the age where audiences are always looking for something new, a twist, something NEW, this kind of craft can really set one apart as a writer.

None But the Lonely Heart (1945)
by Clifford Odets
Adapted from the novel by Richard Llwellyn

*He was a well-known playwright and writer of the famous film Sweet Smell of Success (1957) (my blog on it here).

2022 OSCARS: CODA (2021) - Creating Four Different Character Arcs But One Central Theme

[Quick Summary: Ruby (18) is torn between staying home to help her deaf family, and dreams of a college singing scholarship.]

FOUR THOUGHTS:

1) This script is FUN to read (and the fastest of the 4 Oscars scripts thus far).

2) It's a true ENSEMBLE piece, and all four main characters change and arc.

3) Though all their arcs are different, they all have the SAME THEME (not being seen for who they are).  It keeps the stories unified and easier to follow.

I really like how the writer found situations that best explored this theme. 

For example, in the scene below:
- Ruby is the link for her parents to the hearing world. She often puts the family's needs before her desire to get a singing scholarship.
- The parents, Frank and Jackie, have opinions but feel isolated because they can't communicate with hearing people .
- Notice how the writer found a FUN, ENSEMBLE situation that explores the THEME. What does being unseen feels like? Can it be sustained? If not, what change will follow (suspense)?

INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - EXAM ROOM - DAY

Ruby sits between her parents in a tiny exam room, translating for them. She's done this many times. That doesn't make it any less awkward.

FRANK: It's definitely itchy as hell.

RUBY: It itches.

FRANK: My nuts are on fire.

RUBY: His, you know...

FRANK: They're like angry hard little beets. Covered in barnacles.

RUBY: I got it.

FRANK: And your mother's got it even worse. Like a boiled lobster claw.

Ruby squirms, mortified.

DOCTOR: Right, so the layman's term for what you both have is "jock itch." It's common if you spend a lot of time in damp clothes. And it's easily transferable via intercourse.

RUBY (to her dad): You guys have jock itch.

DOCTOR: I'll give you an antifungal cream. But you both have to keep the area dry and avoid sex for two weeks.

RUBY (to her parents): You two need clean underwear. And you're not allowed to do it anymore.

FRANK: What?! For how long?

RUBY (to her parents): Never again. Done for life.

Frank and Jackie stare at her.

RUBY (CONT'D)(caving): Two weeks.

JACKIE: Can't do it.

FRANK: Impossible.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really like the feel of the overall piece.  It's an ensemble, united by a similar theme, yet full of distinct characters.

CODA (2021)
by Sian Heder
Based on La Famille Belier

2022 OSCARS: Belfast (2021) - Structure in All-Dialogue Scene, or How to Say "I Love You" Without Saying It

[Quick Summary: Buddy (9) lives near with his Ma, Pa, brother, near Granny and Pop, during the turmoils of Belfast, 1969.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: Here we are, once again, at the beginning of the dreaded Oscar nominated script reading season!

I know they're smart, well written, educational...and as much fun as going to the dentist.  I know they're good for me, but often not fun reads. Onward and upward!

----------------------

Q: Why is screenwriting more about the cake (structure), and less about the frosting (dialogue)?
A: Structure, i.e., the sequencing of visuals and story, gives scenes meaning.  It allows the dialogue to shine, and often be the most memorable part.

Q: But what about all-dialogue scene?  Aren't the spoken words king there?
A: If you look closely, there's an invisible structure, on which the spoken words hang.  Otherwise, the scene has no deeper meaning.

For example, let's look at the structure of the all-dialogue scene below:

- What is the scene's purpose?
1) Show Pop is worried about his son Pa, whose job will take the family far away.
2) Show Pa is worried about his dad Pop, whose health is declining. 

- Notice how the dialogue hangs from the underlying structure. Together they convey "I love you, I care about you."

EXT. ALLEYWAY/GRANNY'S HOUSE DAY

...

PA: Aye. A big one, a long one, they're askin' some of the boys to move over, permanent, offerin' accommodation, cos of the time involved. A coupl'a years. They're buildin' a hospital. [Pa announces a potential move for his job. A conflict for the family who want to stay.]

GRANNY: Yer Father has to go to the hospital. You talk to him about it. He won't talk to me about doctors. [Granny points out the health issue.]

PA: Is that right?

POP: Just a couple o' days. A wee test. For the lungs. All that bloody time over in Leicester. [Pop deflects and distracts from health.]

BUDDY: Where's that?

POP: In England.

BUDDY: Is that near where my Daddy works?

POP: No, your Daddy works near London, the big smoke. This was in the countryside.

BUDDY: What were you doin?

POP: I was a coal miner.

BUDDY: You've done a lotta different jobs, Pop. [Points out Pop moved for the job.]

PA: You can say that again. [Irony b/c he is also moving for the job, like his dad did.]

GRANNY: An' none lasted more than a week! Except for the mining. [Granny brings back discussion to Pop's health.]

BUDDY and GRANNY go through the back door into Granny's house.

PA speaks more quietly now.

PA: My Mother's worried about you. [Points out fears for Pop's health.]

POP: Yer Mo'r's worried about you. [Points out fears for Pa's moving.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's not just spoken dialogue, but what the structure underlying it is trying to accomplish.

Belfast (2021)(shooting draft, August 2020)
by Kenneth Branagh

TODAY'S NUGGET: Love and Death (1975) - Conflict + Suspense + Upended Expectations = Funnier Screwball Comedy Scenes

[Quick Summary: In 1800s Russia, a neurotic soldier avoids death, pursues love, and plans to kill Napoleon with the help of a distant cousin.] 

Though the page count is long, this script reads fast due to slapstick gags and jokes.

However, I thought the funniest scenes were those in which there was:
a) conflict, known or unknown; AND
b) suspense, in which the audience knows things that the characters do not; AND
c) how the resolution upends expectations, which makes it funnier.

For example, in the scene below:

a) Take CONFLICT...
- Boris and his reluctant wife Sonja are impersonating Spanish envoys who are to arrange a treaty with Napoleon.
- Simone is a French assassin who thinks Boris is also an assassin.
- Neither knows who the other truly is.
- The conflict is on many levels (moral, political, ethical).
- Also, I was surprised how emotionally conflicted I felt for Boris. For the first time in his life, he experiences someone finding him attractive...and it's likely faked!

b) Add SUSPENSE..Crank it up with UPENDED EXPECTATIONS:
- We are waiting to see things unfold, but then our expectations are upended:
---> Which side will unveil the imposter first? Neither does, which is funny.
---> Will Simone discharges the gun? It fails...which is funny
---> Will Boris decide to bed Simone? His rejection likely saved his life...which is funny.

INT. GUEST ROOM (BORIS). NIGHT

Him in his room. Knock on door. He opens it. Pretty woman.

BORIS: Yes?

SIMONE: Don Francisco?

BORIS: I hope so for your sake.

SIMONE (enters, door shut): I am a welcoming present from General Leveque.

BORIS: Oh, nice present. Shall we get this wrapping off?

SIMON

E: You're even more handsome than I thought.

BORIS: Yes, I get that all the time.

SIMONE: More sensuous than I had imagined in my wildest dreams.

BORIS: Really? What are some of your wildest dreams? (hands her pencil and paper) Why don't you write them down and we'll act out the parts.

SIMONE: Your sister -- she will not hear us in here?

BORIS: My sister? Oh my sister...good point...no...right now she's bathing, maybe even taking a bath.

She goes to him, kisses him, puts pistol to back of his head, pulls trigger, it clicks, misfiring.

BORIS: Did you hear a click? Oh well...listen...I feel a little guilty about this...you know, I have a wife in Spain.

SIMONE: Spain is far away.

BORIS: I know, but --I feel too guilty to cheat on her.

SIMONE: Yes?

BORIS: I'm afraid so. Well -- now that that's out of the way, shall we go to bed?

He turns. She fires again, it clicks.

BORIS: You hear that? I keep hearing a clicking sound. Listen, I appreciate your interest but I am kinda close to her. (getting rid of her)

SIMONE: Monsieur?

BORIS: Really - I  - I gotta get dressed - no kidding. Dining with the Emperor tonight...We're like this-- (crossed fingers) Or that -- take your choice.

And she's out. He looks into mirror. 

BORIS: Sweet girl -- hated to disappoint her -- she'll never know --she came that close to heaven.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It would be a mistake to assume that the humor is only due to the dialogue. 

I really think the reason this kind of comedy stands out is the underlying structure (conflict + suspense + upended expectations), which requires a deft touch.

Love and Death (1975)(8/11/74 revised)
by Woody Allen

TODAY'S NUGGET: Get Carter (1971) - Screenplay Form Is Often Ugly; How to Use Present-Flashforward Transition

[Quick Summary: When his brother is mysterious killed in a northern town, London enforcer Carter investigates why, despite being advised against it.]

TWO THOUGHTS: 

1) SCRIPTS ARE BUILT OUT OF NECESSITY. Scripts are cobbled together each time from scratch - misc. screws, scrap lumber.  Ergo, they're often ill-defined, ugly.

"Also I must admit that screenplays are not a literary form I relish; their function is, of necessity, an ill-defined one." - Director-writer Mike Hodges

2) UGLY SCRIPT = OFTEN GOOD SCRIPT? This 84 pg. script is quite ugly looking on the page. Nearly 1/4 of each line is taken up by Scene, Ft., Frame numbers. 

However, it's got a crackling structure. 

For example, the flash forward sequence below:
- This is an excellent transition cutting between present and flash forward.
- Glenda has just fetched Carter to see her provider Mr. Brumby.
- Brumby wants to hire Carter for a hit, but Carter rebuffs him and walks out.
- Notice the purpose of the transition: 
a) The flash forward is what will happen to Carter and Glenda.
b) It is also a visualization of  what Carter is hoping for in the future, and thus increases the anticipation of the scenes in the present.
c) It also adds unexpected interest to an inevitable end.

[Carter is exiting Brumby's house.]

MLS - LIFT doors opening - CARTER comes out - CAMERA PANS R. with him - he goes away to r.b.g. - GLENDA drives in L - stops

LS - CARTER getting into car - she drives out L.

CU - GLENDA driving

INT. CAR  MCS - onto backs of CARTER AND GLENDA as she drives through street

CU - GLENDA'S HAND changing gear

CU - CARTER

CU - GLENDA'S LEGS from Carter's p.o.v.

INT. GLENDA'S BEDROOM. CU - GLENDA'S BOTTOM as she slips panties off - CAMERA PANS DOWN her legs with them

INT. CAR. CS - GLENDA'S HAND changing gear

 CU - CARTER

CU - GLENDA - CAMERA PLANS DOWN

INT. BEDROOM. CU - CARTER'S HAND on Glenda's breast - CAMERA PANS UP to them kissing in bed.

INT. CAR. CS - GLENDA'S HAND AND LEG

INT. BEDROOM. CS - GLENDA AND CARTER making love - CAMERA PANS DOWN

INT. CAR. CS - GLENDA'S HAND AND LEG

INT. BEDROOM. CS - CARTER'S BACK as he makes love

INT. CAR. CU - GLENDA'S HAND changing gear

INT. BEDROOM. CS - CARTER'S BACK and GLENDA'S NAILS scratching it

INT. CAR. CU - GLENDA'S HAND changing gear

INT. BEDROOM. CS - GLENDA'S BREAST AND BACK

INT. CAR. CU - GEAR LEVER AND GLENDA'S HAND changing gear

INT. BEDROOM. CU - CARTER'S HAND on GLENDA - CAMERA PANS R  to their faces as they make love

CU - SPEEDOMETER swinging round past 100 and back

CU - GLENDA'S ARMS round CARTER - CAMERA ZOOMS OUT to MLS them in bed

CU - CARTER - as GLENDA rolls aside

CU - GLENDA as she rolls onto back

CU - GLENDA'S HAND turning ignition off

CU - CARTER - eyes closed - CAMERA PANS R to CU - GLENDA

CU - EXHAUST PIPE of car - CAMERA PANS UP over top of car to BLOCKS OF FLATS in b.g.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The flash forward was used here in at least two ways: to help us feel what Carter is feeling now, and to show us what will happen in the future.

Get Carter (1971)
Directed and written by Mike Hodges
Based on the novel, "Jack's Return Home," by Ted Lewis

TODAY'S NUGGET: Spanglish (2004) - How to Stick the Landing of that Bittersweet Moment

[Quick Summary:  When a Mexican woman becomes a maid for a L.A. chef's family,  her inability to communicate brings surfaces the problems in both families.]

One of the things that Brooks' writing does well is stick the emotional landing.

I think the key is his story structure.  First we see the characters' wounds. Then when they make bad decisions, we understand, even if we don't agree with them.

For example, the scene below has a lot of setup:

-We have seen Flor (protagonist) connecting with her employers John and Deborah, who love each other by each have issues. 
-Deborah-Flor share being supportive mothers.  John-Flor share being aware of other people's needs.
-The night Deborah drops a bomb, John flees and runs into Flor. 
- He is in a crisis, wounded, and does not want to be alone.  He needs a friend and cooks her a meal.
- Emotions that have been rising finally break through in this moment of closeness.

INT. RESTAURANT KITCHEN - NIGHT

John and Flor sit at a small table int he kitchen...finishing the greatest late-night meal in the history of Western man. Flor motions that she is finished.

JOHN: That's it...That's it for you. (a shadow passes) I keep thinking I should tell you what happened to me tonight. But, I don't want to spoil this. I don't want to spoil this.

FLOR: I will remember every taste...forever.

JOHN (shy/his heart): I'm very glad you liked it.

FLOR: It's something watching you.

He looks up at her...she has not been seen like this for a very long time, if ever.. lit up by a man.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  That final line really stuck the landing for me.  

Everything has been building to this moment when she's finally being seen, but a cloud hangs over them.

Spanglish (2004)(undated)
by James L. Brooks

TODAY'S NUGGET: Coal Miner's Daughter (1980) - The Moment of Despair (Team Breaks Up)

[Quick Summary: The story of how Loretta Webb married young to Doo Lynn, had 6 kids, and created her country singing career.]

I liked this script very much because: 1) It reads faster than a greased pig, and 2) It builds and builds to the moment of despair.

First, it lays out how Doo worked so hard to get Loretta noticed.  

Second, we see that she's well on her way to success, but he no longer has purpose. 

She eventually catches him kissing another woman.  When she hits him with her purse, he injures a finger. 

The entire script has built to this heart wrenching scene when the team breaks up:

INT. HOUSE - NIGHT

...LORETTA: Ain't you gonna talk, Doo? I know what happened today, it wasn't about me wearin' no makeup. Why don't you talk to me?

DOOLITTLE (slowly): I think what I'm gonna do...is get me a job somewhere. Truck drivin', a mechanicin', somethin' I'm good at....

LORETTA: You're good at managin' me. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you.

DOOLITTLE: Gettin' here's one thing. Bein' here's another. My job's done. So I'll just find me another'n.

LORETTA: If this is gonna break us up then I'll quit too, Doo. I mean it.

DOOLITTLE: Successful people can't quit, baby. (sees her holding her head) Got another one of your headaches?

She nods.

DOOLITTLE: Just like your daddy. Coal dust give him his headaches. I guess I'm what gives 'em to you... (takes something from his pocket) Figure it was about time.

It's a wedding ring. She looks at it, starts to cry. They hold each other.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The kid in me wants the team to stay together, but the adult in me knows Doolittle is right: "Gettin' here's one thing. Bein' here's another."

This is a good emotional space, as it keeps me rooting for them.

Coal Miner's Daughter (1980)(undated)
by Thomas Rickman
Based on the book by Loretta Lynn with George Vecsey

TODAY'S NUGGET: Munich (2005) - Cyclical Vengeance; I'm OK with a Long Script

[Quick Summary: Avner leads a team of assassins to wage vengeance on the team that killed the 1972 Israeli Olympians.]

I don't particularly like reading vengeance scripts, as they're often too long, i.e., heavy, IMPORTANT, and over-written.  (Yes, that's sarcasm.)

So I was surprised to find that this script actually needs the length (163 pgs.)

I think the writers and Spielberg and needed the space to do what they were trying to do here: Show the cyclical pattern of vengeance and it's fruitlessness.

One contributing factor to the cycle is the money.  It is so large that no one questions where it came from, and it will take great character to walk away from it.

We are reminded of this in the scene below:
- Avner goes to meet Papa, the head info broker who's made a fortune selling intel.
- Papa has requested this first in-person meeting after Avner's team messed up.
- This scene gives the audiences a little normalcy and a chance to breathe. However, the threat is never too far behind: We are similar; do not cross me.

INT. INSIDE THE FARMHOUSE - DAY

...He hands Avner a big metal bowl filled with kidneys. He points to the sink. 

PAPA (CONT'D): There.

Avner brings the bowl to the sink, turns on the tap. Papa hurries over, nudges Avner out of the way, turns off the tap. He gestures with the large knife he's holding.

PAPA (CONT'D): No! Don't wash! It will taste like boiled sponge.

AVNER: Then why put them in the sink?

PAPA: If the juices spurt out, it's a big mess, the whole kitchen smells like piss. Peel off the fat.

He dexterously peels off a kidney's thin membrane of fat.

PAPA (CONT'D): Let me see your hands.

Avner shows Papa his hands.

PAPA: Too big for a good cook! That was my problem too.

Papa holds his right hand up, flat against Avner's.

PAPA (CONT'D): I'd have been a master but I have thick stupid butcher's hands, like yours. We are tragic men. Butcher's hands, gentle souls.

He tousles Avner's hair, gently, affectionately slaps his face.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was tired out reading this script. However, I do think it was as short as they could get it. Cycles do need space and time.

Munich (2005)(undated)
by Tony Kushner and Eric Roth
Based on the book, "Vengeance: The True Story of an Israeli Counter-Terrorist Team," by George Jonas

2021 OSCARS: Sound of Metal (2020) - Using Structure to Showcase Internal Conflict

[Quick Summary: A workaholic rocker is at a loss when he loses his hearing.]

This is a noteworthy script, especially how it captures a futile attempt to control the moment in a season of change.

Rubin tries to hold on to the past, while reaching for the future, but cannot do both.

In the scene below:
- Rubin needs to sell his Airstream for ear surgery.
- Rubin is trying to move forward (surgery) while holding on to the past (his equipment).
- Notice the scene is structured to show Rubin's internal conflict (he wants both) and forces him to make a decision (he can only pick one)

INT. AIRSTREAM - MOMENTS LATER

The man writes a number down and slides it to Ruben. Ruben looks at the paper and grins...

RUBIN (Waving hand all around): Man, you know exactly what I have here right? I mean really. I don't need to sell this. I REALLY don't. I'd be happy to keep it dude.

Ruben looks dead into the mans eyes. The man shrugs stiffly.

MAN: I understand. So Listen -

The man writes a number and slides a piece of paper across the table to Ruben. 

MAN (CONT'D): This is it. That's all I'm doing so-

Ruben gazes at the piece of paper. Looks up at the guy.

RUBEN: ...So I have a proposition for you. honestly it's the only way I'd even consider- (Gesturing to the paper) This. But here's the deal though...You and I both know that this is worth a hell of a lot more than what you're offering...it's fully wired as a recording studio. You know how much, just that is worth?

The man begins to protest-

RUBEN (CONT'D): Hey, Common. Just don't. I know the fiar price for this and I know you do too and this, (Pointing to his number) -is a fucking joke.

The man shrugs coldly.

RUBEN (CONT'D):  But I have an idea. What if I were to give it to you at this price?

The man looks up...

RUBEN (CONT'D): With the condition that I have the option to buy it back from you for ten percent more than you're paying me within like...a couple months from now.

The man looks at Ruben like he's nuts. From Ruben's POV...

MAN (SILENCE W/T SUBTITLES): Why?

RUBEN: But it's got to remain it it's current condition, everything in place (gesturing)

The man considers as Ruben waits. The son gives a thumbs up. Ruben wants to rip his throat out.

MAN: I can give you a month-

Ruben signals to the guy to write it down. He does. Ruben looks at it.

RUBEN: Five weeks. Pay pal's ideal.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's very helpful that the structure forces a decision, which surfaces the character's conflicts and priorities.

I am surprised by how deeply the script moved me, and how the scenes have lingered with me. 

Sound of Metal (2020)
by Darius Marder and Abraham Marder

TODAY'S NUGGET: Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) - Structure is not Formatting or Style; Writing a Hallucination

[Quick Summary: After Young Sherlock Holmes meets Young Watson boarding school, they investigate the murders of several unconnected men.]

This scene below is a particularly good example of 2 craft points:

1) STRUCTURE vs. STYLE vs. FORMAT. I used to think that screenwriting structure was as simple as copying other writer's format and style.

I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to realize that these are NOT structure. 

Structure is the skeleton underneath, ex. setups, payoffs, conflict, etc.  Here, Bentley has just been hit with a blow dart (setup) and we will see the effect (payoff).

Format is how the page looks and flows, ex. short or long paragraphs, etc.  Here, the script reads fast because of the short sentences that increase the pace.

Style is how the writer expresses his way of telling the story (voice), ex. bare bones sentences, phrases, etc. Here, Columbus makes every sentence/phrase a single shot.

2) HALLUCINATIONS. Columbus had to make the hallucinations visible to the audience.  Notice how he shows chaos first --> shows the calm reality second.

ex. INT. RESTAURANT

Bentley SITS at a table. AWAITING his dinner.

The waiter delivers a covered, STERLING SILVER TRAY to Bentley's table. Bentley stuffs a CLOTH NAPKIN into the top of his shirt collar.  The waiter REMOVES the tray's cover.

A LARGE BARBECUED PHEASANT sits on Bentley's plate.  Bentley LICKS his lips. HUNGRY.

Bentley lifts his KNIFE and FORK. Ready to CUT into his dinner.

He brings down his fork. STABBING the pheasant.

The bird COMES TO LIFE! SCREECHING! SNARLING!

Its eyes are VICIOUS. ANGRY. Its sharp beak SNAPS like a dragon. The deadly claws are LONG. the fingernails RAZOR SHARP.

Bentley JUMPS BACK.

The creature LEAPS from the plate! Onto Bentley's CHEST!

The wild bird CLAWS AND PECKS at Bentley's face!

Bentley CRIES OUT! In PAIN!

The bird continues to ATTACK!   Its sharp claws RIP APART Bentley's face.

Bentley raises his BLOODIED HANDS.  He TEARS the bird from his face. THROWING it onto the floor.

Bentley JUMPS UP.  RUNNING to the door.

The restaurant OWNER hurries over to Bentley.

OWNER: Mr. Bobster...What is it? Is something wrong?

Bentley TURNS back to his table.

The bird is no longer ALIVE.  It RESTS on the plate. In its original POSITION. CALM. As if it HADN'T MOVED.

Bentley looks at his HANDS.  They are CLEAN. No sign of BLOOD. He feels his FACE. UNBLEMISHED.  NOT A SCRATCH.

Bentley TURNS. LOOKING around the restaurant.

Everyone STARES at Bentley. CUSTOMERS. WAITERS. Even the COOKS have comes out of the kitchen. Everyone is PUZZLED by his strange outburst.

Bentley STARES. CONFUSED. Was it a HALLUCINATION?

Bentley GRABS his hat and coat. DASHING out of the restaurant. FRIGHTENED.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'd forgotten how boring it is to watch a character experiencing a hallucination.  The audience needs to SEE the hallucination too.

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)(rev. draft, 5/25/84)
by Chris Columbus
Based on the characters of Arthur Conan Doyle