TODAY'S NUGGET: Mindhunters (2004) - How to Make an Information Dump More Interesting to Watch (Clarity of Purpose)

[Quick Summary: After a group of FBI trainees are dropped off on a deserted island for a weekend training exercise, one of them starts killing them off, one by one.]

I thought this script did a great job of bringing the audience into the psychological game that's being played.  How did the writers do it?

They had to find a way to quickly get into the minds of the trainees, explain how they think (essentially an information dump), yet maintain a brisk pacing. 

The writers knew that the most traditional and efficient way to do this is through interviews of the trainees.  Their new addition here was using new technology.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Harris, the FBI trainer, has brought the trainees to an isolated island for training.
- Someone has a beef with all of them. Weird things start to happen.
- Sara, one of the trainees, goes looking for information and finds a laptop with her fellow trainees' initial interviews.  
- Notice that this is an information dump, but a necessary and efficient one. 
- The interview is a tried-and-true technique, but the writers used a more modern tool here to do so (the laptop). 
- Also, Sara is seeking clues, so the interviews feel more like answers to her questions vs. telling the audience information. 

INT. THE DORM ROOMS -- MOMENTS LATER

...Sara's eyes SWING to the LAPTOP on J.D's bed.

THE SCREEN

is filled with STAR-BURSTS - a SCREEN-SAVER program.

She presses the command button. The computer comes to life.

ON THE SCREEN -- J.D. APPEARS ON VIDEO TAPE

In the middle of an INTERVIEW.

J.D. (on tape): ...If there's one thing I've learned working for the Bureau, there's always a cause and effect. Even in the sickest criminal mind.

HARRIS (V.O.)(on tape): But do you want to crawl into that kind of mind?

ANGLE THE GROUP

as they stare at the laptop - dumbfounded.

J.D. (on tape): Do I want to? No. But will I? Yes.

ANGLE THE LAPTOP -- AS THE SCREEN

turns to SNOW

and ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

BOBBY (on tape): I'd be walking, just minding my own business, and a squad car would pull over. I used to carry a photo ID just to prove I lived in the neighborhood.

HARRIS (V.O.): Why Behavioral Science?

BOBBY (on tape): You're the best...

TIGHT ON BOBBY

BOBBY: That's my psych-eval interview...

ANGLE THE LAPTOP --

SNOW again...

ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

NICOLE (on tape): I was 11 years-old. I came home from school and mom was unconscious . The police took him away. It's the first time I remember feeling safe. We never heard from dad again...

ANOTHER ANGLE - LUCAS

LUCAS (on tape): I left medical school to join the Bureau because I thought I could be more effective on the front lines. (beat) What can I say? I'm an adrenaline junkie.

ANGLE - RAMON 

RAMON (on tape): Once I got a taste of homicide, there was no turning back. There's not a helluva lot more satisfying than seeing a killer brought to justice.

ANGLE - VINCE

VINCE (on tape): I was that kid. The one who knew everything there is to know about serial killers. I've always wanted to be a mindhunter. The accident hasn't changed that.

ANGLE - SARA

SARA (on tape): Her killer sent me letters from different mailing services for a year after we found the body. Told me everything he did to her. (beat) Every single thing.

TIGHT ON SARA

flushing crimson...

AND THE SCREEN FREEZES. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't particularly notice the information dump about other characters here because the scene had real clarity of purpose.  

That is, Sara was seeking answers, so watching her register new information was more interesting to watch than if I was told it.

Also, the laptop was cool updated tech to use in a film, but it didn't replace knowing the fundamentals of drama (re: how to convey information through interviews).

Mindhunters (2004)(12/17/00 revised draft)
by Wayne Kramer, revisions by Kevin Brodbin, Kario Salem

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Scarlet Letter (1926) - How a Series of Images Conveys Meaning Without Words ("Cinematic Language")

[Quick Summary: After having a baby out of wedlock in the 1600s, Puritan Hester refuses to name her lover and suffers the consequences.]

Q: Someone said I need to know "cinematic language." What is that? 
A: I like to think of it as the way images can convey meaning, often without words.

Q: How do I learn how to write in a cinematic language?
A: One good way is to study silent films since they rely on images over dialogue.

Q: No dialogue?! Aren't they boring to read?! What could I learn?
A: Yes, they're a bit technical.  But they remind writers that our job is to find creative ways to STRING TOGETHER images to create deeper meaning without heavy reliance on dialogue.

For example, in this script:
- Hester and her daughter are inside the house.
- It's essentially technical shot list and there are no slug lines (unlike modern scripts). 
- However, notice that there's still structured drama through images:  The writer strings together individual images of Child (happy) + Her Mother (sad) = create a third meaning (bittersweet).
- This use of images to tell a story is called "cinematic language."

Fade in. Ins[ert] of hand. Makes Letter A in sand.

CU girl

CU Hester seated in chair

CU little girl

CU Hester looking at insert

of letter A in sand

CU Hester

CU little girl looks up at Hester and laughs

CU Hester looks down at hands and turns to right

CU little girl laughing, then looks serious, rises to feet

MS Hester seated in chair. Little girl enters to her and embraces her.

[TITLE CARD READS] Outcasts shamed
and despised' But 
Hester's happy child 
reflected the hope that 
still lay in her mother's 
heart.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I struggle with trusting audiences with my series of images.  Will they understand?  Thus, I find I tend to overwrite with dialogue.

The Scarlet Letter (1926) 
by Frances Marion*
Adapted from the novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne 

*Frances Marion won two Oscars and was nominated three times.  She was one of the earliest and most prolific screenwriters (with at least 189 projects credited to her).  She also is the author of How to Write and Sell Film Stories (1937).  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Vatel, Master of Pleasure (2000) - An Example of How a Comeback Stinger Works (Dialogue Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: A master steward must ensure a royal visit goes smoothly in order to gain his cash-strapped boss a commission from King Louis XIV.]

Q: I want to write a comeback stinger, so focus on the punch line, right?
A: It's important, but not the MOST important part.

Q: Huh?! What's more important than the punch line?
A: A punch line is the payoff. Without a proper set up, it languishes.

Q: Give me an example of a good set up.
A: Let's use today's script, which is a farce that exposes the excesses and debauchery of 1600s France. Everyone obsesses about status...except our protagonist Vatel.

In the scene below, the antagonist (de Lauzun) gets the final zinger, but note that it works because it was set up properly:
- Vatel is a steward who rose up the ranks by his own merit.
- The Marquis de Lauzun is the king's courtier, i.e., an intermediary.
- Vatel and the Marquis have the same level of authority, on opposite sides. 
- The Duchesse de Longueville is after a political promotion for her husband, and is not afraid to seduce the Marquis to get it. 
- The set up is about who can top the other in status:
--> First, de Lauzun tries to belittle Vatel. 
--> Then, Vatel uses his wits against de Lauzun. It's a draw.
--> Then, the Duchesse butts in and says she's the first to have de Lauzun's secret. It looks like she's on top. 
--> Finally, de Lauzun saying she's the last to know. He outsmarted her with the last word.

EXT. CASCADES. LATER. 

,,,Lazun notices Vatel and laughs.

LAUZUN (CONTINUED): I was just telling the Duchesse about your boyhood days in the brothels of the Ile Saint Louis.

VATEL (bows to the Duchesse): It's quite true. No one know more about the brothels of the Ils Saint Louis than the Marquis de Lauzun.

DUCHESSE (to Lauzun): I think he's just insulted you but it's hard to tell. That's a rare gift; if you punish him for it I'll tell everyone your favorite perversion.

LAUZUN (smiling to the Duchesse): But, Duchesse, you were the last to know. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The cleverness of this stinger lies in its set up.  

Here, the Marquis de Lauzun fails to ridicule Vatel with his own shortcomings.  Frustrated, he uses the Duchesse's love of gossip against her with added spite.

Vatel, Master of Pleasure (2000)(1/19/99 revised)
by Jeanne Labrune
Translated and adapted by Tom Stoppard

2025 OSCARS: Sing Sing (2024) - The Line of Dialogue That Tells the Multi-Layered Truth

[Quick Summary: Divine G and a group of prisons find deeper meaning when they put on their own time travel play/musical.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

In this line, Divine G speaks of taking ballet at the famous FAME high school:

DIVINE G: ...There's no room for lies in ballet.

I like it because it is economical and says so much about:
- his potential once upon a time
- his understanding of the finer arts
- a metaphor for what fine arts help uncover inside people
- in subtext, what the troupe is trying to uncover through acting.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm sure this line of dialogue was honed and honed and honed. It doesn't happen spontaneously (though it may appear to be).

Sing Sing (2024)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Story by Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar, Clarence "Divine Eye" Maclin, & John "Divine G" Whitfield
Based on "The Sing Sing Follies" by John H. Richardson & "Breakin' The Mummy's Code" by Brent Buell

2025 OSCARS: A Complete Unknown (2024) - The Line That Describes What the Tension in the Atmosphere Feels Like

[Quick Summary: In 1961, Bob Dylan comes to NYC, where he meets his heroes and significant women in his life.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

CON OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: There's a bias toward certain stories.

PRO OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: Learning what the industry says is the most innovative writing in the last year.

Though today's script wasn't particularly innovative in the biopic genre, I thought it captured atmosphere succinctly, which is often very difficult to do.

I could not decide between my favorite two lines, so I include them both here:

EXAMPLE 1:
- Joan and Bob have just spent the first night together.
- She asks Bob to sing one of his new songs.  She joins in.*
- The line below tries to explain what the tension in the air feels like:

INT. BOB'S APARTMENT -- DAWN

...No one is brave today... 

EXAMPLE 2: 
- Bob has put other things above Sylvie too many times.
- One day, he shows up on a motorcycle and shouts up to her apartment.
- The line below unfolds her inner life that creates an unspoken frisson around her:

EXT. SYLVIE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

...She crosses to Bob and climbs on the bike knowing full well this is stupid. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's good to know the writer's rule ("only write what the audience can see") and when to break it (ex. sometimes a writer can only describe atmosphere by describing what a character's internal state is).

A Complete Unknown (2024) 
by James Mangold and Jay Cocks

* As a side note, I loved the description of their singing: "The rusty knife of Bob's voice blunts the beauty of Joan's."

2025 OSCARS: Emilia Perez (2024) - The Line Which Conveys Two Women in the Same Space, Lost in Thought

[Quick Summary: Musical.  A lawyer assists Manitas, a drug lord, to "kill" him, help him to become "Emilia"  via surgery, and then reunite her with her wife and kids.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I thought it was tricky to adapt this story into a film, and even more so, a musical.* 

There is a ton of ground to cover: who Manitas is; his empire; the threats to him; his transition to a woman; her establishing a non-profit to help families, etc.

The strongest story line that drove many decisions was Emilia's desire to be reunited with her kids, which wasn't unexpected.

The second strongest story line was unexpected: Emilia's new romance with Epifania.  I found it to be more nuanced visually, with subtext.  

The scene below is an example of the second point:
- Prior to this scene, Emilia meets Epifania at the non-profit.
- They go out on a date and stay the night together.
- The scene below is the morning after.
- As Emilia starts to sing, Epifania continues with day's work: dressing housekeeping, etc. 
- I liked the first sentence, which specifies: a) they don't see each other, and b) they're in the same frame.
- This is so succinct!  It conveys through visuals and space that they're each lost in their own thoughts.
- BONUS: I included the second sentence for the last phrase, "weighed down by love," which I thought was beautifully descriptive.

INT. EPIFANIA'S HOUSE - DAY

 ...Epifania does not seem to see her although they are in the same frame.....All her gestures are weighed down by love.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked the economy of words. It's hard to quickly convey two people both lost in thought.

Emilia Perez (2024)
Written and directed by Jacques Audiard, in collaboration with Thomas Bidegain, Lea Mysius, Nicholas Liveechi
Based on the novel by Boris Razon

*The Emilia Perez character began as a secondary character in a French novel.  Jacques Audiard, the film's writer/director, had the idea to first turned Emilia's story into an opera, then a film musical.

2025 OSCARS: Conclave (2024) - One Line That is Underlined May Have a Different Meaning Than Another

[Quick Summary: After the Pope dies, the Dean of the Conclave must manage the voting process for the new Pop and discovers hidden motives of the candidates.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

We writers are told a lot of "don'ts":  "Don't put in camera moves (directors don't like that)." "Show, don't talk about feelings (actors don't like that)."  

These days, I take them "under advisement", i.e., ignore them, because I've seen writers do those very things -  BUT THEY KNEW WHAT 'RULES' TO BREAK.

---------------

Q: In the above paragraphs, why do I only remember the underlined part?
A: Underlining emphasizes things.

Q: Have you seen any effective uses of underlining?
A: I will cite two lines from this script, in same scene, only because they show how underlining does different things:
- The first emphasizes what is in Lawrence's mind and emotions.
- The second is later in the scene, and emphasizes a shift in tone.

INT. PAPAL SUITE - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT

...Lawrence is holding the x-ray to the light, staring in silence, struck that he is looking at the very heart of the man he revered.

....The contest has begun.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Like any good tool, the emotional impact that comes with underlining is best used sparingly.

Conclave (2024)(final draft, w/revisions)
by Peter Straughan
Based on the novel by Robert Harris

2025 OSCARS: The Substance (2025) - The Line That Begins an Emotional Transition Sequence

[Quick Summary: An aging fitness star tries the Substance to allow her younger self to exist, but it turns dark when the latter wants more than 7 allotted days at a time.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I was impressed that about 90% of this film occurs in a single apartment, but never feels short changed.  I can identify two reasons:

a) The Substance process is secretive, which lends itself to a single location. 

b) Its superb emotional transitions are sequenced very well to topple from each other like dominoes, and keep the audience so absorbed that it doesn't notice.  

As an example of an emotional transition, I chose the first sentence (below):
- This sentence starts the arc of the emotional transition.
- Because transitions rely on context, by their nature, I've included the rest of the scene to show the entire arc of the transition.
- Previous to this scene, Elisabeth dumped a USB stick that advertised The Substance.
- The action of dumping wilted flowers is both how Elisabeth feels (disgust) and a metaphor for her life. 
- Dumping flowers (disgust) + the USB retrieval (hope) = Shows Elisabeth's conflict of emotions.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

...Elisabeth grabs the wilted flowers from the table, heads to the kitchen and...

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

...throws them in the trash can.

BLACK

A long silent beat.

CLACK - LOW ANGLE SHOT FROM INSIDE THE TRASH CAN WHICH OPENS AGAIN - revealing Elisabeth's face framed by the black can.

She leans over, sticks her hand inside the black bucket...

...and retrieves the USB stick, covered in sticky residue. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I thought this was a good example of how an audience grasps a character's emotional transition through a sequence of the character's actions (structure).

Also, it was illuminating how the writer kept it simple: one sentence, one action.  She didn't try to overload each sentence with too much business.

The Substance (2024)(5/3/22 draft)
by Coralie Fargeat

TODAY'S NUGGET: Frantic (1988) - "Lean & Economical"Jealousy for BOTH Parties in One Scene

[Quick Summary: After an American doctor and his wife arrive in Paris for a cardiac conference, she is kidnapped, setting him off on a wild chase to free her.]

This script was co-written by Roman Polanski, and re-written by his Chinatown writer, Robert Towne. 

I thought the first third of the script was great, but the rest was somewhat predictable.  Or, as Roger Ebert always puts it best:

It’s a professional comeback for the director of “Rosemary’s Baby” and “Chinatown,” who was recently reduced to serving as gun-for-hire on the dreary “Pirates.” Every scene of this film feels like a project from Polanski’s heart – a film to prove he is still capable of generating the kind of suspense he became famous for. And every scene, on its own, seems to work. It is only the total of the scenes that is wrong. The movie goes on too long, adds too many elaborations and tacks on too many complications, until the lean and economical construction of the first hour begins to drift into self-parody. (emphasis mine)

I attribute that "lean and economical construction" to Towne because it contains: 
a) his trademark clever observations of human emotions; and
b) fully rounded parts. No one is simply there to prop up the protagonist. 

For example, the scene below is about jealousy -- for BOTH parties:
- Dr. Richard and his wife Sondra arrive at the hotel.
- At the desk, he is given a message from a Dr. Alembert to confirm a lunch.
- No one is supposed to know when they're arriving.
- Sondra resigns herself that Richard is going to choose the doctor over her.
- Not how quickly the tables are turned for both of them. This appears often in Towne's scripts and it's difficult to do.

INT. SUITE - BEDROOM - WINDOW

...Again she indicates the note in Richard's hand.

RICHARD: Don't confirm the lunch.

SONDRA (furious): Why not? You did tell Alembert when we were arriving a day early, didn't you, obviously you want to see him -- come on now, Richard, give me the note and don't mess around. [She feels hurt and jealous, assuming his work is more important.]

She goes for it with a swipe and misses. Richard puts it in his mouth and chews it. [I love this action because it was so unexpected from a serious doctor.]

RICHARD (as he chews): ...I didn't tell him when we were arriving...Maurice Alembert is chairman of the convention...(having some difficulty) ... not only that --  [I like this added bit of humor.]

SONDRA: Richard, don't swallow it, you'll choke -- [She is more concerned about his welfare than her feelings.]

RICHARD (still chewing): -- Oh now. [More humor.]

SONDRA: Well at least let me get you some water to wash it down.

RICHARD (following her into the bathroom): ...Not only that, Maurice Alembert doesn't give a goddam about me ever since he saw you at the Berkeley seminar last year. 'Ow is your charming wife? Be sure and bring Sondra when you come..' I'm not the only man in Paris who wants to sleep with my wife! [It's amazing at how quickly Towne turns the tables on Sondra because Richard is jealous too. This is not a one sided relationship. ]

Sondra pauses, glass in hand over the bathroom sink.

SONDRA: -- At the Berkeley seminar? ...Was he the one with the long legs who took is shoes off when he spoke? [More humor because she didn't realize who Alembert was, or her effect on him.]

RICHARD: Never mind. You're not spending the day with anybody but me.

He takes her in his arms, pausing to spit out the last of the Alembert note in the sink. Sondra suppresses a giggle and kisses him.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Towne's craft for construction is on full display here.

It's not that both parties are jealous, or that the tables are turned for both of them, but that it all happens in ONE scene in such a crisp, but emotional, manner.

Frantic (1988)(final draft, 4/10/87, with revisions)
by Roman Polanski & Gerard Brach (uncredited: Robert Towne, Jeff Gross)

2024 OSCARS: Oppenheimer (2023) - Simple Symbol of Shouldering Responsibility

[Quick Summary: After Dr. Oppenheimer develops the atomic bomb at Los Alamos, NM, he suffers a politically motivated investigation.]

I liked, but didn't love, this script.  On the plus side, it did show me something I'd not seen before, i.e, being written in Oppenheimer's first person POV.   

On the negative side, it is mostly dialogue, so there are fewer visuals on the page. 

My favorite one (below) is a wonderful economy of writing. 
- Oppenheimer has come to consult Einstein on whether to go forward with atomic energy research that could destroy the world.  He shows him his research (papers).
- You can almost see the action IN the dialogue (but not "telling").
- I love how Einstein handing back that piece of paper has a deeper meaning in the very last line.  It symbolizes responsibility.

EXT. LAKE, INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED STUDY - MOMENTS LATER

EINSTEIN: And here we are, lost in your quantum world of probabilities, but needing certainty.

OPPENHEIMER: Can you run the calculations yourself?

EINSTEIN: About the only thing you and I share is a distain for mathematics. Who's working on it at Berkeley?

OPPENHEIMER: Hans Bethe.

EINSTEIN: He'll get to the truth.

OPPENHEIMER: And if the truth is catastrophic?

EINSTEIN: Then you stop. And share your findings with the Nazis, so neither side destroys the world.

I turn to leave.

EINSTEIN (CONT'D): Robert? (holding out paper) This is yours. Not mine.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In this dialogue heavy script about big ideas (there's a lot of telling), I really appreciated a simple visual symbol (showing).

Oppenheimer (2023)(revised, 1/3/22)
by Christopher Nolan
Based on the book, "American Prometheus The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer", by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988) - Sex as a Metaphor

[Quick Summary: On the 1968 eve of the Russian invasion of Czechoslovakia, a serial bed-hopping surgeon meets a woman who wants monogamy.]

Q: Is there a lot of sex in this script?
A: Yes (and nudity too*).

Q: Is it gratuitous? 
A: No, because the main character, Tomas, focuses a lot on it.  But when it debuted for its sexuality and sensuality. 

Q: But if that was all, why does the film still resonate with audiences? 
A: I think Roger Ebert said it best: 

What is remarkable about "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," however, is not the sexual content itself, but the way [director Phillip] Kaufman has been able to use it as an avenue for a complex story, one of nostalgia, loss, idealism and romance.

Q: How? What's so great that this script got an Oscar nomination?
A:  I think it's the way the story unfolds and how Tomas arcs. Ebert made very astute observation about where Tomas begins:

For him [Tomas], sex seems like a form of physical meditation, rather than an activity with another person.

Tomas then learns that freedom from any commitment (that "lightness of being") becomes unbearable. 

Q: What surprised you about the script?
A: I'd heard a lot about the writer (the often cited Jean-Claude Carriere), but little about what makes his writing so special. I came to see:

1) He writes longing really well. I felt it build through the script.

2) This script surprised me at how deftly Carrier gets to the heart of the matter. There's a direct simplicity that is deceiving because it's really difficult to write well.

In the scene below:
- This is a very early scene (p. 2), in the hospital operating suite.
- Dr. Tomas has just gotten his latest fling (Nurse) to flash him in another room, while his colleagues have been eavesdropping on them.
- Notice how each of the characters voices the various opinions about sex (spoken), and how they think it will satisfy (ex. unspoken need for attention, status, etc.)

IN PREPARATION ROOM. Nurse's face is flushed as she buttons her robe and silently brushes past Tomas. Their cheeks touching. 

IN PREPARATION ROOM. Nurse's face is flushed as she buttons her robe and silently brushes past Tomas. Their cheeks touching. 

NURSE: Will I see you in three weeks?

TOMAS: Exactly three weeks.

ADJOINING ROOM. She exits. Tomas goes into adjoining room and sees JAN and JIRI have been eavesdropping on him.

JAN: Tomas, I caught him spying again.

JIRI: Not spying, just learning. I want to know how you do it, you bastard. She's incredible. How can you not see her for three weeks?

Tomas and Jan being to have some fun with Jiri.

TOMAS: Because it's the rule of threes, Jiri.

JIRI (he wants to know - a pupil): What rule of threes?

Tomas acts like he doesn't want to explain, so Jan volunteers.

JAN: It's simple, Jiri. But it must be very carefully worked out. Either you see a woman three times in quick succession and then never again, or you maintain a relationship over the years but make sure that the meetings are at least three weeks apart.

JIRI: And what else?

TOMAS: Nothing else. That's the basis of the erotic contract.

JIRI: A contract?

TOMAS: Yes. An unwritten contract that stipulates that sentimentality has no place in a relationship.

JIRI: But what about love?

JAN: The contract stipulates that you exclude all love...

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Sex is a metaphor for Tomas' life: It's his way, all the time.  However, his shift from "I" to "we" did not happen as I expected it to.  

It's hard to explain, but it's truly moving how his imperfections become exposed upon meeting Tereza and facing war, and the longing becomes contentment.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)(revised draft, 9/4/86)
by Jean Claude Carriere and Philip Kaufman
Based on the novel by Milan Kundera

* In Roger Ebert's review, he wrote: 

There is a lot of nudity in the film but no pornographic documentary quality; the camera does not linger, or move for the best view, or relish the spectacle of nudity. The result is some of the most poignant, almost sad, sex scenes I have ever seen - sensuous, yes, but bittersweet.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Rachel, Rachel (1968) - Making the Unfamiliar Familiar

[Quick Summary: After a big city boy asks her out, a lonely grade school teacher, who lives with her mother, starts to daydream about where her life is going.]

Though he's read thousands of scripts, Black List founder Franklin Leonard recently said that he still looks for scripts that "transport" him somewhere.

But what does that look like on the page? 

This week's script is a good example of transporting us into a character's head because it made the unfamiliar very familiar in a few sentences.

FYI: I will note that this wonderfulness does come with some messiness.  We are in Rachel's POV, which is subjective, moody, and prone to tangents.

As a result, the story was sometimes jumbled and weird. (But perhaps that's the point?  After all this IS called "Rachel, Rachel.")

I liked the scene below, which instantly makes the unfamiliar familiar:
- This is the first time we see Rachel's mother in her own social setting.
- Within a few short sentences, we know the relationship between these women is long standing, competitive, and a relief from daily life (eating, smoking).
- We know Mother is concerned about appearances ("company eyeglasses," "elfin frames of delphinium blue" says a lot in a few words).
- Though I may not know these characters, I know this situation of playing games at someone else's house. It felt like I was sitting at this table.

INT. DINING ROOM - CLOSE SHOT - MOTHER - NIGHT

It is later now. Mother looks cute with her curly hair and "company eyeglasses", with their elfin frames of delphinium blue.

MOTHER: Oh, Verla! You're not going to no-trump!

CAMERA PULLS BACK to show Mother playing bridge at the dining-room table with her cronies, VERLA, FLORENCE, and HOLLY. They have consumed everything on the platter and are smoking up a storm.

VERLA: Now don't be a sore loser, May. When you come to my house, you can win!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I am impressed by the speed which I simply felt I dropped into this scene. It is a masterful economy of writing.

Rachel, Rachel (1968)
by Stewart Stern
Based on the novel "A Jest of God", by Margaret Laurence

TODAY'S NUGGET: The World is Not Enough (1999) - If You're Going to Put "M" in a Cage...

[Quick Summary: Bond delves into threats against an oil heiress, and uncovers a plot involving nuclear warheads.]

In this script, I found the stakes somewhat confusing (not surprised), the plot very action-y (not surprised), but I was surprised that they put M in a cage.

Granted, it is dubious that the head of MI-6 would get so involved with a mission.* 

Also, it's rather convoluted how she gets to the remote location, i.e., request of the heiress, whom she's known since a child.

However, I give the writers props for  is something NEW and NEVER BEFORE SEEN in any of the previous 19 Bond films (out of 25 films).  

In the scene below:
- I really liked how efficiently the writers described M's cell (it was shot as written). 
- I like how close quarters were used to increase a sense of menace.
- I also liked that this scene doesn't just increase tension and stakes, but it's also Elektra's emotional blood-letting too.  She's been wanting this purge. 
- The film was also helped immensely by Judi Dench's performance as M, as her blistering delivery gave the scene a thrilling frisson.

INT. ROOM - MAIDEN'S TOWER - MOMENTS LATER

Elektra opens a heavy door, she and Renard pass through to...

A SMALL ROOM...a window set in the stone on one side. The other side is divided off by a WALL OF BARS, creating a cell which now contains: M.

The cell is bare, except for a camp bed in the corner. M betrays no fear. A quiet defiance burns in her.

ELEKTRA: Just as I promised.

Renard steps forward. Bars separate him from M.

RENARD: My executioner.

M: Over-praise, I'm afraid. But my people will finish the job.

ELEKTRA: Your people? Your people will leave you here to rot just like you left me. You and my father. He didn't think my life was worth the chump change he spent on a day at the stock market.

M: Your father...

ELEKTRA: Is nothing. His kingdom he stole from my mother. The kingdom I will rightly take back.

ELEKTRA leaves. Renard is left alone with M.

M: She's insane. Is that what you did to her?

RENARD: No. I'm afraid it is what you did.

He crosses close to the bars.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If you're going to cage the head of MI-6 (and Judi Dench), it can't be a gimmick. Give her something meaningful to play against, like Elektra's rage.

The World is Not Enough (1999)(undated draft)
by Neal Purvis, Robert Wade, & Bruce Feirstein

**I've heard that Bond fans grouse, "Why is M out in the field? Isn't she more valuable at headquarters?"

TODAY'S NUGGET: Octopussy (1983) - Show, Not Tell, Through Sequencing (Time Jump, POV Shot)

[Quick Summary: After a fellow agent dies carrying a Fabrege egg, Bond's search uncovers a plot to unleash nuclear weapons.]

I started reading Bond scripts after reading an interview with writer Richard Maibaum.*  How did he deliver what were fans looking for?

One key is keeping the audience surprised and off guard, which is quite a feat.

I am amazed how much Octopussy still stands out amongst the Roger Moore era films,** which tend to be more fantastical and campy than the others.***

I watched the film before reading the script, and this opening scene (below) caught me off guard because it is quite tense and ramps up quickly.

Upon reading the script, I was particularly impressed how the writers did this all with a discreet time jump + clown's POV shot.  

It "shows, not tell" and relies on the audience to put 1 + 1 together.

NOTE:
- A clown (yes, a clown) is running from twin knife throwers in East Berlin at night.
- One twin threw a knife, which hit the clown in the back. He fell into the river.
- Notice how efficiently the writers move us from man in the river --> out of river --> embassy.  It is all POV and what we think we've seen.
- Weir = small dam in a stream or river.

TWINS ON CONCRETE PLATFORM

Looking O.S.

THEIR POV

Between PILLARS. CLOWN, apparently dead, being carried away by the current on the other side of the weir. His clown's coat, ballooning out, keeps him afloat.

TWINS

VOPOS above and beyond them on SPAN OF WEIR. TWINS whisper, turn, scramble from platform to riverbank, scurry up it and out of scene.

EAST BERLIN - IMPRESSIVE BUILDING - NIGHT

MUSIC from within. Cars with formally dressed GUESTS arriving for reception at brightly lit main entrance. CAMERA MOVES IN CLOSE ON PILLARED GATE POST, PLAQUE identifies BRITISH EMBASSY. 

NEW ANGLE - MAIN ENTRANCE

CAMERA SHOOTING FROM LANDSCAPED GARDEN. SOUND of heavy gasping, then a moan. CAMERA, lurching, weaving, is now someone moving labouredly toward FRENCH DOORS in building wing.

INSIDE EMBASSY ANTE-ROOM

CAMERA CLOSE ON AMBASSADOR'S REFLECTION IN MIRROR as he straightens Order on shirtfront. ANGLE WIDENS when he turns for approval to HIS WIFE who smiles and adjusts his white tie. O.S. MUSIC AND CONVERSATION HUM, suddenly louder as door opens and ATTACHE enters, then stands beside it. AMBASSADOR offers arm to his wife. She takes it. They start toward the door to greet guests. She stops suddenly, her eyes widening apprehensively. She gasps.

HER POV ACROSS THE ROOM

FRENCH DOORS. Pressed against it outside is the ghastly face of THE CLOWN. ZOOM TO GLASS DOOR which smashes as he falls through it, still drenched and bloody, into the room.

GROUP

AMBASSADOR, WIFE, and ATTACHE, stunned and horriifed, stare down at CLOWN lying with one arm outflung toward them. CAMERA IN CLOSE ON HIS HAND. As he dies it opens and a glittering FABERGE EGG rolls out. CAMERA PANS WITH IT until it comes to rest against the Ambassador's foot.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Really think outside the box of how to show, not tell.

Here, the writers sped up the boring parts (ex. clown getting out of river --> finding way into embassy) with a clean time jump (embassy exterior --> clown POV).

Octopussy (1983)(rev. 8/19/82)
by George MacDonald Fraser and Richard Maibaum & Michael G. Wilson

*Maibaum wrote on the first 13 (of 26) Bond films. 

**This film is the 6th of 7 films with Roger Moore as James Bond (13th of 26 films).

***Tangentially, I've quickly learned that Bond fans: 1) love, love, love to rank the films in a bazillion different way; and 2) generally categorize the films by the actor era (Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Bronan, Craig). 

2023 OSCARS: The Fablemans (2022) - Sequence of Visuals + Reaction Shots = Internal Emotions

[Quick Summary: In post-WWII, Sammy Fableman discovers filmmaking and a family secret.]

The screenplay form is a weird kind of writing,* which makes them hard to judge.

So when I read Oscar nominated scripts, I'm mostly looking for CRAFT.  What is cutting edge, unusual, daring?  Are the things I've never seen done before?

This brings me to today's script by Spielberg and Kushner.  It is very well written, deeply felt...but is also the most traditional in this category.**

However, I did like the very Spielberg-ian method of conveying internal emotions by the use of external visuals.  

In the scene below:
- This is Sammy's first movie, Cecil B. DeMille's The Greatest Show on Earth.
- The sequence of visuals: train on screen --> Sammy's fright --> later in the car, Sammy still mute.
- Notice Sammy hasn't said a word...it is all in his reactions to what he's seen.
- Also note the economy of writing: Each sentence is a shot, and there is much more movement between Sammy and his environment than you think. 

ON SCREEN

...The Engineer in the second train tries to slow down.

ENGINEER (ON SCREEN)(to his BRAKEMAN): Hang on!

ROBBER 2 (ON SCREEN): Angel! ANGEL!!!

But it's too late. the train hits the car and flips it over!

IN THE THEATER

Sammy's whole body goes rigid, pushing back into his seat, staring in shock at the catastrophe on the screen.

Cut between the crash as the moving train ploughs into the stalled train and Sammy's reactions, frozen stills of his sheer, visceral terror (cf 2001's star gate sequence). For Sammy this is real, not a movie. His eyes are huge, taking in danger on the screen: lions and tigers are escaping from the demolished train!

Above and behind him, the projector's beam's colors cross, dance in the thick, cigarette-smoke-filled air. The beam's colors blend and merge into...

INT/EXT - THE FABLEMAN CAR DRIVING THROUGH HADDON HEIGHTS, NEW JERSEY

...the colors of Christmas lights festooning every house on the street. Sammy's in the car's front seat between his parents, visibly stricken with fear.

MITZI: What was your favorite part?

Sammy's too scared to talk.

MITZI (CONT'D): Sammy! What do you want for Hanukkah?

Sammy doesn't answer. Mitzi looks at Burt.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  On a second read, I am impressed how the writing is BOTH emotional and efficient.  

It sounds too simple, but I think one of the keys is the choice of what the visual is and what comes before and after it.  

That is your job as a writer: to find the RIGHT visual and sequence.

The Fablemans (2022)
by Steven Spielberg & Tony Kushner

* The purpose of a screenplay is to produce a film.  This is similar to the purpose of a roast turkey recipe, which is to produce a roasted turkey.  We judge by how the turkey tastes, not by how well the recipe is written. 

**Perhaps the reason is, as a film critic that I admire said, this was a more factual story (vs. E.T., which was more allegorical), thus is essentially a home movie.

2023 OSCARS: Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) - Grounding a Surreal Story in Reality

[Quick Summary: A Chinese laundromat owner, who could be the hero to save the universe, is thrust into an adventure to explore all the lives she could have lived.]

I'm not surprised that people have exited this film saying, "What was that?"

A few things have helped me understand what they were trying to do:

- Writers/directors Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert ("The Daniels") wrote this script after seeing a double feature of The Matrix and Fight Club. 

- Their frequent collaborator, cinematographer Larkin Seiple, described their scripts as so surreal that he felt it was his job to ground the story in the ordinary [to make it seem familiar.] 

- Kwan said in an interview that he was scrolling through his cell phone, and it reminded him of different universes...

...which is what the main character Evelyn is experiencing in the scene below. 

NOTE:
- This scene is particularly good at conveying the surreal feeling physically of being in an elevator (but one's mind elsewhere).
- I really like how Waymond flows from surreal to ordinary in a few sentences.

INT. IRS ELEVATOR - THAT MOMENT

....DING! Evelyn is now standing outside of her laundromat with a few suitcases and Gong Gong sitting in a wheelchair, looking clearly disappointed.

DING! Evelyn sorts tax receipts earlier today! DING! Joy shut the car door on Evelyn. DING! Waymond sighs as they enter the elevator DING! The elevator door closes -

Evelyn blinks. She is back. She exhales, shell shocked.

Waymond shoves the papers he was writing on into her hands.

ALPHA WAYMOND: The moment you are situated in your meeting, follow these instructions, but remember: no one can know. Don't even talk to me about this because I won't remember.

EVELYN: But I-

He shushes her and places a hand gently on her cheek. Evelyn shrivels under the intimacy.

His phone BEEPS.  He closes the umbrella, shoves everything into his bag, and strikes a natural pose.

ALPHA WAYMOND (side of mouth): Talk to you soon.

His head goes limp.

DING. The elevator opens. Waymond's head lifts up and he looks around disoriented.

WAYMOND: Wow...what a fast elevator...

He walks out pushing a snoring Gong Gong, leaving Evelyn grasping for understanding. 

As she exits, her gaze lingers on the janitor closet to her right.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked that the story relied on people, not machines and gadgets, for the a-ha! moments.  It felt more real.

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)
Written and directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert

TODAY'S NUGGET: Gone Girl (2014) - Keeping Characters on the Razor's Edge of Tension

[Quick Summary: When his wife, famed "Amazing Amy," goes missing, Nick is hounded by press, public, and police as a suspect in her disappearance.]

I was really impressed how this script was able to show the character's motive, conflict, and also keep the tension on a razor's edge (could go either way).

I've divided the scene below to demonstrate different elements: 

SECTION 1: At the "Find Amy HQ" in a hotel, Nick ducks out for some privacy.  Notice this is a setup for conflict and doubt in our minds.

INT. HALLWAY - DAY

The hallway is VACANT. Nick's DISPOSABLE begins  buzzing. He ducks father down the hall. NICK is picking up just as: SHAWNA peers around the corner. Nick abruptly ends the call.

SHAWNA: Nick? I just wanted to introduce myself. My name's Shawna Kelly.

Nick nods: thanks. He's seething at the interruption. [He wants to answer this call but interrupted by a nosy stranger.]

SHAWNA (CONT'D): I'm so sorry for your...troubles.

NICK: That's very kind.

He gives her an after-you gesture but she doesn't budge. [Is he trying to be polite? Or something else?]

SHAWNA: Are you remembering to eat?

NICK: Lotta cold cuts.

Again: After you. [Nick tries again, fails.  This increases the conflict.]

SHAWNA: I'm going to fix you up my world-famous Chicken Frito Pie.

NICK: That's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

He tries again to get past her. He pats her on the arm as a goodbye, she puts her hand on top of his.

--------------------

SECTION 2: When this stranger isn't getting the response she wants, she ups the stakes.

SHAWNA: You have to keep up your strength.

She digs through her handbag, grabs a cell. Jams her face against his. [She's pushing into his comfort zone physically, like the world's attention is on him metaphorically.]

SHAWNA (CONT'D): Say: Chicken frito pie!

NICK - just wanting to leave - reflexively grins. CLICK. She shows him the photo: The two of them, cheek to cheek, Shawna's glossed lips pouty. Without context (and even with), the photo is wildly inappropriate, a little sleazy.  [His immediate regret: Is it real? Fake?]

NICK: Oh. You know what? That's-please delete that would you?

SHAWNA: It's a nice photo. [She stonewalls him.]

NICK: It's just not appropriate. Do me the favor, would you? SHAWNA debates.

NICK (CONT'D): I'm asking you nicely: Please delete the photo. [His politeness is pushed to the limits.  His motive to self-protect has layers to it.]

NICK tries to lean past her and hit delete. She holds the cell away from him-hey!-he tries to grab it.

SHAWNA: What is wrong with you?

NICK grabs her arm. It's the first time he seems dangerous. [This is the climax of the scene. What will he do?]

-------------------------------

SECTION 3: Now that he's lost the battle, what will he do?

NICK: You can't share that with anyone. [We understand his position.]

SHAWNA: I'll share it with anyone I like.  [We understand her position.]

SHAWNA scrambles past him, shoots down the hall to the elevator.

SHAWNA (CONT'D): Asshole.

NICK rests his head against the wall. Breathes.

NICK: Pull it together, Dunne.  [Interestingly, I empathized with his plight...and was still suspicious.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Because I BELIEVED it could go either way, the tension worked.  The key was that both characters' motives and conflicts were clear.

Gone Girl (2014)(shooting script, 8/29/13)
by Gillian Flynn
Adapted from her novel.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Seven Year Itch (1955) - Using a Dream Bubble to Refute an Argument + Show Wish Fulfillment

[Quick Summary: After his family goes away for the summer, a book publisher with an overactive imagination is left in NYC with a new gorgeous neighbor upstairs.]

Billy Wilder scripts are exceptional - unexpectedly layered and multi-tasking. 

For example here, Richard's wife and son have just left for the summer.  He meets his pretty new neighbor upstairs who is subletting.

On his first night alone, he has an imaginary conversation with his wife about what a loyal husband he is.   In fact, he's had to chase women off.

When his imaginary wife scoffs at this, he uses his overactive imagination to conjure up a series of "dream bubble" scenarios to prove his point.

Notice how this scene below refutes the imaginary wife's argument that he's not super-desirable AND shows what Richard wishes would happen:

DREAM BUBBLE (1) - RICHARD'S OFFICE - DAY

Richard stands at the desk in his shirt sleeves, reading a letter. Miss Morris enters.

RICHARD (barely looking up): Miss Morris, did you type this letter?

MISS MORRIS (tensely): Yes, Mr. Sherman.

RICHARD: There are six typographical errors in the first paragraph alone. What is the matter iwth you, Miss Morris? (pause) Come now, Miss Morris. What is the matter with you?

MISS MORRIS: I'll tell you what's the matter with me. I'm in love with you. That's what's the matter with me. I have been - since the first day I came here. Deeply...madly...desperately...all consumingly! And you - you've never even noticed me! To you I'm just nothing...a piece of office furniture...a dictaphone...ten fingers to type your miserable letters...

Suddenly, she tears off her glasses, rips the comb out of her hair so that it comes tumbling wildly down over her shoulders.

MISS MORRIS (out of control): Look at me, Mr. Sherman. I'm a woman! A woman, do you hear me? With flesh and blood and nerves and feelings! I love you, I need you, I want you, want you, want you, want you!

She grabs him around the shoulders and kisses him violently. There is the sound of cloth being torn. he stands there, quite cool about the whole thing. Finally when her passion is spent - 

RICHARD (unruffled): That will be all, Miss Morris.

He hands her back the letter. She runs out of the room, sobbing hysterically. He looks after her, slowly turning his back to the camera. The back of his shirt is torn. He flexes the muscles of his back. For a moment he is Marlon Brando in STREEETCAR.

The camera has started moving in again. The Dream Bubble bursts and we are back on -

RICHARD - ON THE TERRACE - EVENING

He is lying on the chaise, grinning in delight over his little fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was quite amazed how much of this script was dream bubbles and Richard's fantasy life.  It could've easily been a cliche, but was not.

The Seven Year Itch (1955)(final draft, 8/10/54)
by George Axelrod and Billy Wilder
Based on the play by George Axelrod

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979) - Making the Daffy Disaster of Whizzing Bullets Count for Character

[Quick Summary: Two farmhands, who want to be the infamous Apple Dumpling Gang, bumble their way into another gang's bank heist, payroll robbery.]

I've always thought the scripts of Don Tait really showcased the physical comedy of actors Don Knotts and Tim Conway. 

But it was not just choosing unusual locations or situations, but how Tait used them to show more of Knotts and Conway's characters.

For example, in this script, Tait used props (whizzing bullets) to emphasize how these guys are clueless and do not think about the consequences of their actions.

Also notice the writing is so economical (summarized in brackets below):

INT. BANK

as Woolly Bill charges IN, Buntline Specials drawn, he comes face to face with Amos and Theodore!

WOOLLY BILL: All right -- hold it right there! Turn around! Now remove your guns easy and drop them.

Amos and Theodore are too frightened to speak, but they obey Woolly Bill's orders. Cautiously, they turn around, reach for their antiquated firearms, and drop them to the marble floor.

INSERT

Both guns DISCHARGE when they hit the floor. [Unthinking actions]

CLOSE - WOOLLY BILL

as one gun is shot from his hand. [Unintended reaction, which makes it funny]

SERIES OF FAST CUTS

as the bullet from Amos' gun SPANGS OFF various metal objects about the bank: a teller's cage bar, a spittoon, a chandelier, a corner of the vault, etc. This all is done to the SOUND OF RICOCHETING BULLETS. [This is a paragraph of actions.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

TO FAVOR Woolly Bill as his eyes try to follow the trajectory of the ricocheting bullet. Suddenly the other Buntline Special is knocked from his hands and Woolly Bill bends over, clutching both hands in pain. [This is Bill's reaction.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

as Theodore glances back over his shoulder and is surprised to find Woolly Bill a victim of their gunfire. Both his white-handled guns are on the floor at his feet. [More reactions]

THEODORE: Maybe we better go.

He grabs up their guns and shoves Amos' revolver at him. He has to shake Amos out of his posture of cringing terror.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene is funny because the bullets hitting Bill is unexpected.

However, it's funnier because it's about the characters' cluelessness.

The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979)(shooting draft, 3/28/78 w/revisions)
by Don Tait

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Prize Fighter (1979) - Showing How a Fight is Fixed (Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: Mobster Mike lures Bags, an awful boxer, and Shake, his corner guy, into training at Pop's gym, in hopes of getting his hands on the gym.]

Let me say it from the start: Not everyone can (or likes to) write comedy. But why?

Director Alexander MacKendrick put it very elegantly:

‘Comedy is hard’ (last words of Edmund Kean). Comedy plays best in the mastershot. Comic structure is simply dramatic structure but MORE SO: neater, shorter, faster. Don’t attempt comedy until you are really expert in structuring dramatic material.MacKendrick says it very elegantly above, but I'd never understood what he meant until I had to write one myself. (emphasis mine)

I still didn't understand what he meant until I took a stab myself.  I discovered what one can only discover by doing it: There is an unforgiving rhythm to comedy.*

The truth of "neater, shorter, faster" can be seen in today's script, one of two, which comedian/writer Tim Conway wrote for himself and friend Don Knotts.

In this story, Bags (Conway) and Shake (Knotts) are being set up for a fall.

In the scene below:
-Notice how neat, short, fast the sentences read. Great economy of writing.
-Notice how it keeps our eye moving around the room (setup).
-I underlined the payoff.  Why is it funny? He wins with eyes closed, which the audience knows is impossible and unexpected...unless it's fixed.

INT. CARNIVAL TENT RING - NIGHT

...MIKE

takes a real interest in what's happening with the ring work Bags has come up with. The Champ actually takes a few pokes at Bags but can't seem to catch up to him. Mike leans forward. He likes what he sees. He whispers to Flower. Flower signals the SECOND in the Champ's corner. The Second gets the message.

SECOND (to Champ): Hey, Mule...

He motions to him with a thumbs down signal. The Champ questions it by looking to Mike. Mike nods his head in agreement. The Champ shrugs his shoulders and moves to Bags. He beings to corner Bags so he has no choice but to hit the Champ. He does so with his eyes closed. The Champ goes down. The crowd yells for him.  Bags opens his eyes. He sees the Champ down and out. He bends over to help him.

BAGS: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, honest.

The Champ looks at him with one eye like, what the hell is the matter with you.

Shake is wide-eyed. He can't believe it. Jimmy goes to Bags and holds his hand high.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In a drama, you have a lot more leeway with time. The rhythm can ebb and flow at leisure, like waves on a beach.  

In a comedy, you have little leeway.  The rhythm is much more structured, insistent, demanding, like a military march.

The Prize Fighter (1979)
by Tim Conway and John Myhers
Story by Tim Conway

*Writers, please DO NOT take my word for it. Please try it out for yourself and see if comedy fits you or not.  Scientific method the heck out of it.

This a-ha! moment is brought to you by Years of My Own Pain.