TODAY'S NUGGET: It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988) - Don't Be Afraid of Longer Character Descriptions in a Comedy

[Quick Summary: After two complete opposites are paired up on the neighborhood watch, they have to pull together to deal with dead bodies and a drug cartel.]

I was attracted to this script because of its original title, "Househusbands."  Unfortunately, the story didn't stick with me for long afterwards.*

However, I did like how the writers characterized the characters so you'll remember them. They're descriptive and fun to read, and carry the point without forcing it.  

Most importantly, I felt something when I read them.  

For example:

1) This character seems to shout "Stay away!"

ex. "Duncan is an extremely cheap looking girl, about twenty. Her hair is ratted; clothes black leather. Lipstick the color of exposed lung-tissue. Eye makeup...not even Stephen King has the balls to write about. Lewd knuckle tattoos, mantlepiece breasts and hickeys all over her neck and chest.  Right now, she has the passenger visor down and is analyzing Dale's reflection on the clip-on mirror."

2) This character seems to have secrets beneath the surface. 

ex. "Otto almost smiles. His eighty rounds per second sense of humor working." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Fun is key in comedies, so don't be afraid to give character descriptions more space on the page if you need it.  

I have a bad habit of short changing the descriptions, favoring utility over a fully rounded character. I need to remember that some characters just need more space.

It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988)(8/16/88 1st draft)
by Thomas Szollosi and Richard Christian Matheson

*I haven't seen the finished film, but it seems to be very different than this first draft.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972) - One Key to Writing an Exaggerated Tone in a Tall Tale

[Quick Summary: After outlaw Roy Bean appoints himself judge and jury of Vinegaroon, TX, he encounters wild adventures and famous visitors.]

How do you get across the exaggeration of a tall tale?  One key is that repetition can help the tone.

For example, this is the introduction of Bad Bob in today's script:
- Roy Bean has appointed himself the judge of the county.
- Nick the Grub has left the dangerous life of being one of Bean's deputies and has become an onion farmer. 
- Bad Bob is an antagonist. He arrives at Nick's farm.
- Notice the number of actions that say "Bob is tough," piled on one after another. 
- Notice also how quickly the actions happen in such a short period of time.

EXT. PRAIRIE - FULL SHOT - RIDER

...Bob looked around and dismounted. Nick the Grub had just come out of his hut and was feeding his horse and watering onions. He had a pot of water boiling for coffee. Bob strode over to him, looked the horse up and down and SHOT it between the eyes. It made a hideous SOUND and settled into the dust. [Action 1: Bob shoots a horse without thought or remorse.]

BOB (continuing): Cook it for me. [Action 2: Bob orders Nick to cook a horse, which is a meat that most westerners will not eat.] 

Bob sat down and pulled out a huge onion from the ground. He dusted it off, then took a big bite out of it like it was an apple. He took another and washed them down with the scalding water. That's how mean he was.  [Action 3 & 4: Bob eats an eye watering onion raw, then drinks scalding water.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Exaggeration is helped in a tall tale by the repetition of the outrageous actions, in both number and speed of delivery.

Audiences unconsciously compare this to real life, and know that repetition of this sort does not really occur. 

The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972) (10/18/71 final draft)
by John Milius  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Fat City (1972) - Strong Introduction to a Character

[Quick Summary: At the same gym, life is repeating itself in the lives of two boxers (one older, one younger).]

THREE THOUGHTS: 

1) HUSTON ON EXPRESSING IDEAS. I agree with what John Huston wrote in his autobiography about the difficulty of expressing the writer's ideas:

The most important element to me is always the idea that I'm trying to express, and everything technical is only a method to make the idea into clear form. I'm always working on the idea: whether I am writing, directing, choosing music or cutting. Everything must revert back to the idea; when it gets away from the idea it becomes a labyrinth of rococo.  

2) FILM VS. SCRIPT. I watched this film first and thought, "What's the point?" I couldn't figure out what Huston's central idea was. 

When I read the script, it also meandered and seemed pointless...until the last 2 pages coaleses into a full circle moment that explains the pointlessness.  

3)  STRONG INTRODUCTION. I did like the strong introduction to the protagonist, Billy Tully (below) because it sets the tone and our expectations.

In this scene:
-  Tully was a good boxer, but has gone to seed.  
- His wife left him, which was a turning point for when things went sour, and from which he hasn't recovered.
- Here, we see that he's the kind of guy always trying to escape responsibility.  
- I also liked that it didn't try to do overload the audience with too much information. This sets the mood of a guy who's sloppy with his work.

INT. STOCKTON BOX FACTORY - TULLY, SAW OPERATOR, FOREMAN, OTHER WORKERS - NIGHT

Tully goes to a saw that is not in use. The SAW OPERATOR, an aging, discouraged-looking man, rises as Tully approaches.

SAW OPERATOR (carefully extinguishing cigarette; yelling over noise of saws): Foreman's been by.

TULLY (voice raised): What he say?

SAW OPERATOR (same pitch): Wanted to know if you were here yet. Said I thought you were in the can.

Tully takes up his position on opposite side of table from the Saw Operator, who now switches on saw and begins feeding small boards into it. Tully stacks the sawed pieces according to size.

THE FOREMAN, a large, muscular, fairly young man, comes up to Tully.

FOREMAN (loud): Well, Tully, I see you finally made it.

TULLY: I got here on time. I been in the lavatory.

FOREMAN: I was just in there. I didn't see you. 

TULLY: When you came in I went out. You walked right by without seeing me.

FOREMAN: I don't have to see you, Tully. If you'd walked past me I'd of smelled you. I 'd know that wine breath anywhere. I could close my eyes and walk right to you. (reaches out, takes an incorrectly sorted piece of wood from Tully's stack, moves it to proper place) Look what you're doing here! Are you drunk? Lucky for you you're not running a saw.

TULLY: Now you got a lot of nerve. In the first place I'm not drunk and, in the second place, I wouldn't have one of your damn saws. I'm not leaving any of my fingers behind for these wages.

FOREMAN (turning away; disgustedly): I never seen such a bunch of deadbeats as on this night crew!

As he walks away, Tully begins to sweat and swallow. He grimaces, closes his eyes. Nausea overcomes him. He gestures to the Saw Operator to stop the saw, hurries away. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this introduction because it leaves us with more questions than answers. What will he do next?

Fat City (1972)(11/4/70 draft)
by Leonard Gardner and John Huston
Adapted from the novel by Leonard Gardner

TODAY'S NUGGET: Joe's Apartment (1996) - An Unpredictable Introduction of the Roach Allies (Yes, Literally Roaches)

[Quick Summary: Straight from college, naive Joe has to share run-down apartment with singing, dancing cockroaches in New York City.]

I stumbled across this script in my search for anything else by writer-director Paul Brickman (Risky Business (1983)), who keeps a rather low profile.

To me, Brickman adds a wild, unexpected inventiveness to what otherwise might be predictable satires.

For example, in this scene below:
- Joe lives in a badly run down apartment. 
- The landlord wants to sell the building, but Joe is one of the remaining tenants.
- He sends his nephews Boris and Vlad, to scare Joe.  They break into Joe's apartment in the middle of the night.
- Joe sits up in bed, scared.
- What was interesting was how Joe's unlikely allies were introduced.  At first, they appear to be a mysterious, even a potential threat.

INT/EXT: JOE'S APT. WINDOW - NIGHT

CLOSE
Joe's eyes. He's beside himself with fear. The Nephews throw stuff around. Joe's eyes react to an unseen WHISPER.

WHISPER: Psst! Pick this up!

JOE'S POV
A dirty flashlight rolls by itself across the floor under the curtain. Joe's hand grabs it. 

WHISPER: Point it at your face. When I saw "now" -- turn it on.

JOE (Bewildered): Who--

WHISPER: Ssshh!

Vlad and Boris stomp around the practically empty apartment. They turn their backs to the curtain, behind which Joe huddles. The curtain trembles.

BORIS: Where is he?!

Joe SNEEZES behind the curtain. Slowly, murderously, the criminals turn to face the curtain. Their faces twist into hideous smiles.

They step forward and RIP the curtain open.

                                        CUT ON SOUND TO:

WHISPER: NOW!

CLICK! Joe turns on the flashlight. TWO DOZEN OR MORE LIVE ROACHES CRAWL ACROSS HIS FACE.

REVERSE ANGLE
Boris and Vlad, in shock. They SCREAM. They turn to look at each other and SCREAM again.

ANGLE
The ceiling above Boris and Vlad. It's SWARMING with COCKROACHES. Stirring Military MUSIC.

ROACH LEADER (Barking out an order): Paratroop Maneuver Alpha!

ROACHES (In military-style unison): SIR. YES, SIR!

ROACH LEADER: BOMBS AWAY!

The Roaches PEEL OFF the ceiling in flawless fighter/bomber formation. 

A HUGE ROACH lands on Vlad's RIGHT HAND. Vlad gasps in shock.

Another HUGE ROACH lands on Vlad's LEFT HAND. Vlad gasps again.

The ROACH LEADER lands squarely on VLAD'S NOSE.

ROACH LEADER: Gimme a kiss, asshole.

VLAD emits a HIGH-PITCHED, GIRLY SCREAM.

Boris, trembling violently, backs off.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: What kept me engaged was that Joe's allies were the opposite of what I expected (sweet vs. threatening). 

The unpredictability kept the tension up: What would happen next?

Joe's Apartment (1996)(5/10/4; 3rd draft, 2nd revision, "Incorporating many valuable ideas and suggestions from Paul Brickman" [sic])
by Joe Payson
Adapted from a short by Joe Payson

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Wicker Man (1973) - Why "Recognizably Strange" is Effective Horror Behavior

[Quick Summary: After receiving an anonymous letter about the disappearance of a missing child, a by-the-book policeman arrives on a remote island to investigate.]

Q: What makes this odd film stand out? Why is there a cult like fan following?
A: It's a proper horror film, i.e., properly unsettling and weird.

Q: Horror films explore what we fear.  What is the fear here?
A: Something is very wrong when no one (except for the protagonist) is concerned about a missing child on a remote island.

Q: How did the writer make such a weird story, well, weird?
A: One of the keys was what one critic called, "recognizably strange" things. 

The script starts off with the typical straight-laced policeman. I recognize this character and how he'd respond in situations.  I identify with his reasoning. 

Then odd "recognizably strange" things start to happen to him, yet no one (but him) is alarmed.  They're just 15% or so off of normal. Just enough to dismiss him....

For example, in the scene below:
- Mrs. Morrison has just denied to Sgt. Howie that her older daughter is missing.
- She exits, leaving Howie with the her younger daughter Myrtle.
- We are unsettled by Mrs. Morrison's matter of fact reaction --> now add Myrtle's.
- Note how no one is trying very hard to convince Howie.  In fact, the indifference is frightening and infuriating to a by-the-book cop.

INT. PARLOUR OF SWEET SHOP - DAY

...We now see that the child is doing a drawing of a hare with huge ears and whiskers which she is copying from a copper mould that has plainly been used to make the chocolate hares. She looks up and hands Howie a dropping paint brush.

MYRTLE: Here you are. You can fillin the ears in grey.

Neat, clean Sergeant Howie is horrified to find his hand suddenly sticky with paint, and quickly takes the paint rag to clean himself. Carefully he selects a clean brush and starts on the ears.

HOWIE: Myrtle, do you know Rowan?

MYRTLE: Of course.

Howie is startled by the answer.

HOWIE: You do?

MYRTLE: Course I do, silly.

HOWIE: Where is she now?

MYRTLE: In the fields. She runs and plays all day.

HOWIE: Will she be back for tea?

MYRTLE (laughing uproariously): Tea? She doesn't have tea.

HOWIE: Why not? Doesn't she like it?

She stops laughing abruptly and stares at him contemptuously.

MYRTLE: Hares don't have tea, silly.

HOWIE: Hares!

MYRTLE: She's a hare. Rowan's a hare. She has a lovely time.

Howie sits thunderstruck. The door to the shop opens and Mrs. Morrison re-appears....

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how the script lulled me in with recognizable behavior --> becomes "recognizably strange" --> bizarre frightening behavior.  

This gradual slide was very believable!

The Wicker Man (1973)
by Anthony Shaffer

TODAY'S NUGGET: Witness for the Prosecution (1957) - Adding New Humor & Character When Expanding a Short Story

[Quick Summary: A famous barrister agrees to defend the beneficiary of a murdered rich widow, but surprises await.] 

THE SHORT ANSWER

Q: What's the best way to expand a short story and make it interesting?
A: Interesting characters.

THE LONG ANSWER

Let's take this short story by Agatha Christie.

The main character is the solicitor Mr. Mayherne, who does all the investigation and footwork.  Sir Charles, the barrister, is only mentioned twice in passing.

However, in the script:

1) The writers brought forward the barrister (now called Sir Wilfrid) as the main character. He will do a lot of the investigation/interviewing in his office.

2) But how does the audience know he's any good at investigating?* 

The writers were smart and demonstrated his wily nature in a situation BEFORE the case begins (scene below):

- Sir Wilfrid has a heart attacks and has just returned from the hospital. 
- He doesn't like his new restrictions nor the nurse Miss Plimsoll.
- He is willing to bend the rules to his advantage.
- Note how the added shrewd, sneaky humor makes him interesting to follow.

THE ANTEROOM OF SIR WILFRID'S CHAMBERS (DAY)

...He proceeds toward his office, ignoring the reception line-up. In passing he whisks the flowers from Miss McHugh's hand.

SIR WILFRID: Thank you very much. Everybody back to work.

MISS McHUGH: Sir Wilfrid, please -- if you don't mind -- I would like to read a little poem which we have composed to welcome you --

She has whipped out a long sheet of legal-size paper, typewritten on both sides.

SIR WILFRID (interrupting): Very touching, Miss McHugh. You can recite it after office hours, on your own time. Now back to work.

He starts for his room, sees Miss O'Brien sobbing, her cheeks streaked with tears.

SIR WILFRID: What's the matter with you?

MISS O'BRIEN: Nothing ---- I'm just happy that you're your old self again.

SIR WILFRID (a sweeping gesture with his cane): One more manifestation of such sentimentality -- whether in poetry or prose -- and I shall instantly go back to the hospital.

MISS PLIMSOLL: Not very likely. They won't take you back. (to the staff) He wasn't really discharged, you know -- he was expelled. For conduct unbecoming a cardiac patient.

SIR WILFRID: Put these in water -- (shoving the flowers at her) Blabbermouth! (to his clerk) Come on in, Carter.

He goes on into his office, followed by Carter.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Sometimes adaptations require going beyond the short story. Know what the film needs.

Here, audiences expect a defense attorney vs. witness showdown in this genre. Thus it made sense to make Sir Wilfrid the protagonist, though he is not in the short story.

Witness for the Prosecution (1957)(6/10/57 final script)
by Billy Wilder and Harry Kurnitz
Based on the novel by Agatha Christie

*After all, UK barristers generally work in the higher (appeals) courts. This is different work than that of solicitors who focus on the lower (trial) courts

TODAY'S NUGGET: Casino Royale (2006) - How to Introduce a New Bond

[Quick Summary: After getting his 00 license, Bond has to enter a high stakes poker game to stop a banker who is financing terrorists.]

As I read these Bond scripts and hear complaints about the films,  I begin to grasp how difficult it is to get the alchemy right.  Each film is truly a bespoke effort.

This script begins the Daniel Craig era, whose scripts are markedly more pleasurable to read on the page, compared to previous eras.* 

It tackles one of the greatest pressures, i.e., introducing a new actor to play Bond, with real flair.

In this scene:
- I really liked how this introduction included the usual (danger, proficiency on the job) but also an emotional layer (grappling with his first kills).

- I also like how easy they make it for a non-Bond fan to comprehend.  Everyone understands playing games and one-upmanship, which are strong themes here.

- Finally, Dryden and Bond are trading verbal punches.  Note how the flashback doesn't interrupt the flow. It adds weight behind Dryden's "made you feel it" line.

INT. MODERN OFFICE -- NIGHT

Dryden grabs the pistol, levels it -- Bond still hasn't moved.

DRYDEN: Shame, we barely got to know each other.

He pulls the trigger. Click. Bond holds up the magazine.

BOND (with humor): I knew where you hid your gun, I suppose that's something.

DRYDEN (has to smile): True. (lays gun down) How did he die?

BOND: Your contact?

INT. CRICKET GROUND - CLUB HOUSE -- DAY

Fisher backs up to a washbasin, turns on the tap, throws water on his sweating face - his eyes never leave the door. Suddenly, a burst of cheering from outside. Fisher instinctively brings the gun up. A second door, behind him, crashes open. Bond. He spins but James grabs him, knocks the gun out of his hand.

Fisher attacks. The two tumble into the stalls. The fight is chaotic, both men trying to hit each other in a confined space until the stall partitions fold like dominoes. They fall into the shower room. Fisher fights like a madman until finally Bond forces his head into the basin, now overflowing with water. James holds him under until the body stops writhing and kicking. Not a clean kill by any means. He lets the body slide to the floor, steps back, considering the dead man. Hating him for making this feel so much like...killing. 

INT. MODERN OFFICE -- NIGHT

BOND: Not well.

DRYDEN: Made you feel it, did he? (sees the truth in Bond's eyes) Well, no worries, the second is --

Bond raises his silenced Walther and fires, cutting off the words before they reach Dryden's lips.

BOND: Yes. Considerably.

Bond holsters his weapon and heads for the door.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised by how much Bond was feeling the pathos (sadness, sympathy, compassion). It surprised me and made a deeper impact.

Casino Royale (2006)(2nd revisions by Haggis, 12/13/05)
by Neal Purvis & Robert Wade, and Paul Haggis
Based on the novel by Ian Fleming

*I will not say that Craig era scripts are "better", just more readable.  The reason that these films have been great are their creativity, imaginativity, originality, and inventiveness, which do often look very messy on the page.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Dr. No (1962) - "The pictures are so much funnier than my books."

[Quick Summary: After henchmen kill and steal at MI-6's Jamaican HQ, MI-6 sends 007 to investigate a plan to interfere with American missiles.]

I was interested what Richard Maibaum said in an interview:

I met Ian Fleming several times while he was still alive, but I did not speak to him about screenwriting. He didn't seem very interested. He didn't have script approval, but as a matter of courtesy we gave him the scripts to read. He would make minimal notes in the margin, in very tiny handwriting, that usually dealt with questions of protocol - what Bond called M in the office as opposed to what he called him at their club, things like that.

He did say to me once, "The pictures are so much funnier than my books." He was a little bemused and a little obtuse about it, I thought, because he really didn't understand that we were trying to make them funnier. That was the thing we changed most about the books as far as the pictures were concerned. We made Bond more humorous, throwing away those one-liners that are now obligatory in Bond films. [my emphasis]

A good example is the first introduction below to Bond in this first film:
- The introduction to Bond starts with ..."a MAN holding the back has his back to the CAMERA" and we do not see his face until the moment below.
-  The writers took time to set up the spy world, so Bond doesn't appear until p. 10.
- Note this scene is amusing, but the writers also hid some character work in it (Bond is observant, chivalrous, polite, flirty).
- Also, note the dialogue's humor comes mostly from the subtext underneath.

INT. GAMING ROOM. TOP STAKES TABLE. MED. SHOT. NIGHT

... SYLVIA (glancing across at him enigmatically): Suivi....

BOND looks at her, frankly surprised this time.  His eyes drop to her small pile of chips.

SYLVIA: The house will cover the difference.

BOND glances at the CROUPIER, who nods almost imperceptibly. Again BOND (whom we have still not seen front-view) deals.

SYLVIA: Carte.

BOND gives her another card. It is five. BOND's cards are turned. he has two kings. He takes another. It is a seven. The CROUPIER rakes the chips over to him again. 

BOND deliberately breaks the tension by taking out his cigarette case and offering it to SYLVIA.  [This deliberate, subtle move puts Bond back in charge. Good character stuff.]

BOND: I admire your courage, Miss....?

SYLVIA (taking a cigarette): Trench....Sylvia Trench...

He lights her cigarette.

SYLVIA: And I admire your luck, Mr....?

BOND (as he brings the lighter up to his own cigarette, and for the first time we see his face): Bond....James Bond.

Their eyes meet, appraisingly. Then a man comes up behind BOND bends down to whisper something. BOND listens attentively, nods, rises.

BOND (to croupier): Afraid I'll have to pass the shoe. Andree. (to SYLVIA) Forgive me...an urgent matter.

He gets up - she gets up and joins him.

SYLVIA: Too bad. Just as it was getting interesting. [She flirts first, testing the waters.]

BOND (amused by her obvious pass): Do you play anything else but Chemin de Fer? [He picks up the gauntlet.]

SYLVIA: Golf occasionally.

BOND: How about a game tomorrow. (slight pause) and dinner afterwards? [He's not just talking about a game and dinner. Good subtext.]

SYLVIA: Its tempting. May I let you know in the morning? [Playing hard to get.]

BOND (taking a card from his pocket and handing it to her): Fine....Here's my card....give me a call... [He makes a move, but gives her a choice.]

He smiles, moves away. SYLVIA watches him go thoughtfully. 

SYLVIA (to herself): Maybe I will.... [She's impressed.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  A lot of the humor is in the witty dialogue but also in the subtext. 

Dr. No (1962)(5th draft, 8/1/62)
by Richard Maibaum, Wolf Mankowitz, and J.M. Harwood
From the novel by Ian Fleming

TODAY'S NUGGET: Used Cars (1980) - Make the Intro to the Character Count

[Quick Summary: After his boss of a used car lot dies unexpectedly, Rudy stumbles along trying to keep the lot out of the hands of the boss' evil brother.]

The plot was ok,
This script was good.
This intro to Rudy was the best part,
Since the actions explain where his character stood.

ex. "EXT. AN EDSEL - DAWN

...Lucky Used Cars is on a 4-lane highway on the outskirts of a southwestern city. Behind it, an alley, some warehouses, and high-tension lines. And the desert.

We CRANE DOWN TO

A 1974 BUICK ELECTRA 225

Its repainted body can't hide the dents and nicks.  The driver's door is open.

We PUSH IN through the rear window, past the steering wheel, all the way into the dashboard, the speedometer, the ODOMETER: 98,577. Then, suddenly...CLICK!  It changes to 38,577!

A MAN pops up from under the dash and bangs his head on the steering wheel!

RUDY: Ow! Fuck!

This is RUDY RUSSO, 32. Rudy is handsome, smooth, a charmer, and a mover. And a liar.  His sartorial taste is a little loud. Rudy sprays some "R & L Essence of Vinyl" across the front seat, and sniffs it.

RUDY: Ahhh!"

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When introducing your character through his/her actions, make it count.  Make it stand out. Don't start with boring or ambiguous.

Used Cars (1980)(2nd draft, 9/18/79)
by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale

TODAY'S NUGGET: Return of the Jedi (1983) - How to Introduce an Ewok

[Quick Summary: While the rebels disable the Death Star's shield on Endor, Luke faces Darth Vader.]

I'm a big Ewoks fan. (I can't believe some people are not.)

How would I have introduced such a new creature to a franchise?

I would've probably dived in with the physical description, i.e., "short, bear-like, cuddly."

However, the writers had a more effective way to draw the reader in.

They began with character actions, then physical attributes:

"EXT. FOREST CLEARING - LEIA'S CRASH SITE

A strange little furry face with huge black eyes comes slowly into view. The creature is an EWOK, by the name of WICKET. He seems somewhat puzzled, and prods Leia with a spear. The princess groans; this frightens the stubby ball of fuzz and he prods her again. Leia sits up and stares at the three-foot-high Ewok."

Here's my short break down:

1 - Black eyes enter the screen [Not too much detail]
2 - He's puzzled [Now we're curious at his curiosity]
3 - He pokes Leia [Action and movement]
4 - He's frightened, but pokes again [We see his brave action]
5 - She wakes and sees a 3 ft. teddy bear [Finally the whole picture]

I liked that we didn't know the Ewok was 3 ft. until the end.

It's a surprise, and adds respect that such a short fellow would attempt the previous behavior.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  If possible, describe a character with behavior first.

Return of the Jedi (1983)
by Lawrence Kasdan & George Lucas

2013 OSCARS: Argo (2012) - How to Introduce Action Characters

[Quick Summary:  CIA operative to get Americans out of Tehran, Iran in 1980.]

Action scripts need to mooooooooove.

Unfortunately, many scripts have a slow pace and rhythm, beginning with the initial character introductions.

ex. JOE, 25, a mild mannered mechanic with nunchucks in his back pocket, washes windows.

Do we really need to know Joe has a weapon? Can you see "mild mannered"?  

But Argo shows a new trend on how to keep the pace up:

- The character's initial introduction is at a bare minimum.
- The character is then fleshed out later by his/her actions.
 
ex. TONY MENDEZ, 40, asleep in his clothes from the day before.

ex.  JOHN CHAMBERS, Hollywood's first Oscar winner for makeup, walks onto set carrying a fishing tackle box of supplies.

ex. TOM AHERN, 48, the CIA station chief here.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I like this trend because it gets the reader to the action faster.

Argo (2012)
by Chris Terrio

TODAY'S NUGGET: #80 WGA Script of All Time - Witness (1985)

[Quick Summary: After a young Amish boy witnesses a cop being murdered in the big city, an Internal Affairs cop takes the boy and his mother back to the Amish to protect them from a killer.]

When I read spec scripts, I see many writers (including myself) fall into the trap of a lousy protagonist introduction.

Here's a typical example:

JOHN DOE, 22, a hip hop wannabe, wears run down sneakers and a ripped t-shirt.  He's 6'2", handsome with brown hair and blue eyes.

"But wait!" you say. "What's so bad about that?"

Let me list the ways:

1) I know very little about John's mental state.  Yeah, you heard me. Is he worried? Happy?

2) I expect every word to be important. Is his height going to pay off later? Does his eye color change later? If not, then realize right now: I WILL FORGET YOU WROTE THIS.

3) This is a static description. There is no movement.

Here's the intro of John Book in "Witness".  Pay attention.

"The diffused shape of faces behind the frosted glass of the mens' [sic] room door, which is pushed open to reveal, JOHN BOOK, who comes striding through to be momentarily lost in the crowd of police, reporters and others. He is about 40, with a rangy, athletic body."

OK, this is a long intro, but it got me interested.

1) I know that John Book is a no-nonsense guy just by his walk. He's focused, on a mission.

2) Brevity & conciseness here. He's 40, i.e., he's not a rookie. He's rangy & athletic, i.e., he's got some ability to protect & defend.

3) He's in motion.  My mind's eye tracks John as he travels out of the men's room, which was the crime scene. What was he doing in there?  Is he a good guy? Bad guy? I want to know more.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: An introduction should keep the reader's eye moving, & only relay what is absolutely necessary (if in doubt, leave it out).

Witness (1985)
by Earl W. Wallace & William Kelley

TODAY'S 2nd NUGGET: William Goldman & a 2nd @#$)(*%!! Great Introduction

Goldman does it again.

Dang.

Here's the description of Coop, the lawman. Watch how Goldman:

1) describes Coop as the lawman every man wants to be;
2) inspires our trust in Coop.

" As Maverick turns --

JUST AN INCREDIBLE-LOOKING MAN

[THIS IS#1.  I want to be called "just incredible looking," don't you?!]

--we'll find out son enough his name is ZANE COOPER.

He is raw-boned, blue-eyed, muscle & sinew; rugged as they come.  There is also something about him we don't know yet but we will: Coop is so good, so fucking honorable, he seems like someone out of another era --

--which in point of fact, he is.  Coop is the western hero who dominated movies for the most of this century. In other words, we are looking at John Wayne or Gary Cooper.

Not only has he never done anything bad, the thought of doing anything bad has never crossed his mind."

[THIS IS #2.  We now believe anything Coop says. This continues until Act 3 when he shows himself to be a double-crosser. But by that time, we've been rooting for Coop so long that it really is a surprise.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  This intro is crafted very specifically so the audience has complete, utter confidence in Coop.

Why is this important?  Because too many scripts today try to be smarter than the audience.

Here, Goldman sets up our expectations & doesn't betray us.

No red herrings.

No "look how clever I am" hints.

Until the crucial moment.

Then WHAM!  The twist.

This is why he's William Goldman.  Story is first.

TODAY'S NUGGET: William Goldman & a @#$)(*%!! Great Introduction

My Ode to Goldman:

"William Goldman, I bow to thee.
You are one oh one in clarity.
Your intros are deceptively easy.
Oh, how I love the simplicity."

In the script "Maverick," notice how Goldman:

1) describes Maverick;
2) makes us like him;
3) adds conflict so we're waiting for Maverick to act.

"MAVERICK's 30, give or take.  Enormously appealing. Whether that's because of his considerable physical skills or his sunny personality, who knows. It might be his quiet wit.

[THIS IS #1 & 2. I like him. I don't know why. But I do.]

In any case, we are looking at a handsome young man that everybody likes --

--oops --

--make that almost everybody."  [THIS IS #3. I can't wait to see who doesn't like him.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Goldman's writing is not just simple and clear.

It also has conflict, a sense of humor, fun, & keeps escalating.

Brilliant.