[Quick Summary: After two complete opposites are paired up on the neighborhood watch, they have to pull together to deal with dead bodies and a drug cartel.]
I was attracted to this script because of its original title, "Househusbands." Unfortunately, the story didn't stick with me for long afterwards.*
However, I did like how the writers characterized the characters so you'll remember them. They're descriptive and fun to read, and carry the point without forcing it.
Most importantly, I felt something when I read them.
For example:
1) This character seems to shout "Stay away!"
ex. "Duncan is an extremely cheap looking girl, about twenty. Her hair is ratted; clothes black leather. Lipstick the color of exposed lung-tissue. Eye makeup...not even Stephen King has the balls to write about. Lewd knuckle tattoos, mantlepiece breasts and hickeys all over her neck and chest. Right now, she has the passenger visor down and is analyzing Dale's reflection on the clip-on mirror."
2) This character seems to have secrets beneath the surface.
ex. "Otto almost smiles. His eighty rounds per second sense of humor working."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Fun is key in comedies, so don't be afraid to give character descriptions more space on the page if you need it.
I have a bad habit of short changing the descriptions, favoring utility over a fully rounded character. I need to remember that some characters just need more space.
It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988)(8/16/88 1st draft)
by Thomas Szollosi and Richard Christian Matheson
*I haven't seen the finished film, but it seems to be very different than this first draft.
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