TODAY'S NUGGET: Darling (1965) - How Excellent Writing Elevates Character in an "Impersonal Sex Scene"

[Quick Summary: An amoral model who sleeps her way to the top has to face consequences in the Swinging Sixties of London.]

Frederic Raphael is an astute writer who nails character with real panache and nuance. (See my reviews for Two for the Road and This Man, This Woman).

For example, many other writers would describe an "impersonal sex scene" by focusing on characters' beliefs about sex (transactional) and where they are mentally (occupied with other relationships).

But Raphael (who won an Oscar for this script) adds something special: humanity.  

Prior to the scene below:
- Diana, a model, lives with Robert, a tv director.
- She truly cares for Robert, who is difficult sometimes. 
- She has no qualms about a side relationship - only for recreational sex - with Miles, a businessman.
- Diana tracks down Miles at his gym where he was fencing.
- They retreat to his flat for sex.
- See my bolded section below and my comments in brackets.

INT. MILES' BEDROOM. DAY.

Small change, all silver, being stacked with great care on top of the chest of drawers. The money graded through half crowns to a tuppence.

MILES takes a hanger out of the wardrobe where his suits hang in neat rows like executed gentlemen. He takes out a hanger and holds it out.

DIANA's bare arm takes it. The essence of this scene is that the two are never seen embracing or in two-shot. They undress and seduce each other very coolly, in ritual, never as part of a relationship, never in mutual joy. [These bolded sentences impressed me.  2nd sentence: Raphael, who also wrote for tv, is very aware of what the camera (i.e., visuals) can say that dialogue cannot.  By keeping them apart visually, the sex feels impersonal. 3rd sentence: I thought the description exactly nailed the feeling of this sexual seduction. It's also rather ironic. They're here for sex, to feel better, but they're not really engaged with each other or feeling much at all.]

DIANA: I always feel as if there's one more corner to turn...and I'll be there.

MILES: (sitting on a chair, taking off his shoes) And so you will.

DIANA raises a stocking over her head.

DIANA: And there'll be another.

MILES: (taking off his sweater) That's the attraction of corners.

The coverlet is pulled off the bed and neatly folded.

DIANA: I do love Robert, you know. 

MILES: Why not? 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This isn't your typical "impersonal sex scene."  I believe the humanity of these characters, that they're contradictory beings.  It's totally realistic to me that they'd try to keep emotions out of a very emotion filled act.

Darling (1965) 
by Frederic Raphael

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Misfits (1961) - A Really Great "Willow-O'-the- Wisp" Role for Marilyn Monroe

[Quick Summary: A recent divorcee attracts three very different men in Reno, NV.]

One thing that isn't often mentioned about this film is that playwright Arthur Miller wrote Marilyn Monroe a really great character in the part of Roslyn.*

(I do imagine it didn't help Monroe that her husband (Miller) had written her a role is about a divorcee, and she was about to become one in reality.)

Roslyn is fully fleshed out.  On the one hand, she's effervescent, a "willow o' the wisp," and a fun charmer.

On the other hand, her emotional honesty can be rather blunt.  She dips in and out of humor as well as emotional quagmires with amazing dexterity. 

Prior to the scene below:
- Roslyn got a divorce and is now staying with Isabelle. 
- Roslyn meets Guido, who falls for her, and Gay, who's not as impressed.
- Roslyn wants to leave Reno for the countryside.
- Guido suggests the four of them go out to see his house in the country.
- Guido built the house for his wife, who died in the house giving birth 
- In the scene below, the foursome have just arrived at Guido's house.
- The house is half built, and overrunning with weeds.
- There's no front steps. The door is a few feet above the ground.  
- Guido has just said his wife wasn't like Roslyn, not graceful. Roslyn adds "She's dead."

Guido, struck with guilt and wounded by some aspersions on his fidelity to a previously hallowed wife, tries to keep his grin and the gay mood, but his eyes are resentful, and he halts. On the couch, Gay and Isabelle are observing, eating sandwiches and drinking, sensing something serious now.

GUIDO (Trying to laugh at her): What do you mean by that?

ROSLYN (She stays close to him looking up into his face): Whyn't you teach her to be graceful?

GUIDO: You can't teach that.

ROSLYN: How do you know? I mean you do you know? I mean did you ever dance that way with your wife? 

GUIDO: Well she just couldn't make that kind of . . . 

ROSLYN: You see? She died, and she never knew how you could dance! I mean it's nobody's fault, but to a certain extent -- (She holds thumb and index finger a half inch apart) -- I mean just to a certain extent maybe you were strangers.

GUIDO (Defensively; hardening): I don't feel like discussing my wife. 

ROSLYN (she takes his arm -- the jazz is going, she is high now): Oh! I didn't mean to make you mad. I just meant that if you loved her you could have taught her anything. Because we have to die, we're really dying right now, aren't we? All the husbands and all the wives are dying every minute, and they are not teaching one another what they really know! (Genuinely trying to plead with him) You're such a nice man, Guido -- why are you so afraid?! (She wipes her hair out of her eyes to blot out the sight of his resentful face, and suddenly . . . ) I want air! (She goes quickly to the door and starts to step out. GAY rushes from the couch and catches her before she goes down where the step is missing. ISABELLE rushes right behind him. GAY, holding her. . .) 

GAY: You better lie down, girl.

ISABELLE: Come on, let's get back home. Heist her down, Cowboy. 

ROSLYN: No, I'm all right, I'm all  . . . ! (She starts once again to walk out the door. GAY leaps down to the ground and SHE falls into his arms standing up. She looks into his face, laughing in surprise at her sudden drop) How'd you get out here?

ISABELLE (Calling from the threshold): Get me down, Cowboy! Get in the car, Roslyn! -- we're goin' home! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I marveled at that Miller didn't betray Roslyn's effervescence while allowing for great emotional dexterity. It would be so easy to favor one way or the other. 

The Misfits (1961)
by Arthur Miller

*Things that are often said about this film:
- It was the last film for Marilyn Monroe and Clark Gable.
- Both passed away shortly after the film. 
- It was written for Monroe by her husband, the playwright Arthur Miller.
- Monroe did not enjoy filming. 
- She and Miller were having problems and would divorce after the film wrapped. 

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Bourne Supremacy (2007) - How to Ratchet Up Tension? Don't Forget the EXIT

[Quick Summary: Bourne and Marie are on the run once again.]

There are a lot of articles on how to INCREASE tension, but fewer on how to EXIT. 

Is the exit important? Yes, because tension relies on emotions rising and falling.  If it stayed high at all times, it would be very exhausting and also boring.

In these Bourne films, I like the exits because they demonstrate the necessity of the emotional release before the next round of tension. 

For example, in the scene below:
- The CIA is chasing Bourne.  
- Bourne is starting to remember things and who he is.
- Bourne calls the CIA for a meeting because he "wants to come in." 
- Bourne demands the CIA send in Nicky, someone he trusts.
- Nicky is a psychologist who helped Bourne with his meds and psychology on his last mission. 
- When they meet, Bourne demands Nicky confirm things in his file. 
- The scene exits with a show of mercy and emotional self-control.
- The exit lets the tension out, but also leaves us with more questions.
- Because there's a reprieve, we're ready for the next round of tension.

INT. PARKING GARAGE -- DAY

...BOURNE: For Treadstone. In Berlin. You know my file. I did a job here. When?

NICKY: No. You never worked Berlin.

BOURNE: My first job.

NICKY: Your first assignment was Geneva.

BOURNE: That's a lie!

NICKY (emphatic): You never worked Berlin...

BOURNE raising the gun -- eyes gone dead -- oh, shit...

NICKY (CONT'D): No...Jason...please...

BOURNE: I was here!

NICKY: ...it's not in the file...I swear...I know your file...your first job was Geneva! ...I swear to God you never worked here!...

He's so ready to kill her. NICKY starting to cry -- hands over her face -- covering up -- bracing for the bullet she knows is coming --

BOURNE -- about to pull the trigger --

SUDDENLY

FLASHBACK! -- a moment -- a shard -- A WOMAN'S FACE -- backing away -- begging -- begging us -- begging the camera -- PLEADING FOR HER LIFE IN RUSSIAN -- this awful blur of desperation and panic -- fear -- too fast -- too panicked --

JAM BACK TO  

BOURNE swamped -- thrown -- hesitating --  [I particularly liked this line because it shows Bourne's growth, as well as emotional self-control.]

CLOSE ON NICKY 

Sobbing now -- when? -- finally looking out, and --

BOURNE IS GONE! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think how you exit a scene is as important as how you enter because they (the exits) are transitions to the next round of emotions. 

The Bourne Supremacy (2004)(9/17/03 draft, revised)
by Tony Gilroy and Brian Helgeland
Based on the novel by Robert Ludlum and the 2002 Universal Film "The Bourne Identity"

2026 OSCARS: Train Dreams (2025) - When Someone Becomes Important to You (Combination of Voice Over + Action)

[Quick Summary: The life of beauty and heartache of Robert Grainier, a logger and railroad worker.]

Q: What's this film about?
A: It's a quiet story about beauty of the world and the passage of time.  It's got a mood and atmosphere to it that's reflective, like a tone poem. 

Q: That sounds boring. What makes it so special to be nominated?
A: The writing sneaks up on you, and fits perfectly with a protagonist who doesn't say a whole lot, but feels things deeply and simply. 

For example, in the scene below:
- Robert lost his family early in life and was raised by foster parents.
- He experienced a lot of things, but has remained uninvolved and unconnected emotionally.
- Things changed when he meets his wife, Gladys.
- Suddenly something makes connection worthwhile and it changes him.
- This scene below is the first time he notices her, a moment of seismic importance.
- He is someone who is unused to communicating.
- Notice how the writers honed the writing to bring out the truthfulness of the moment, yet its simplicity.  They chose to use voice over + drop of the gaze, in order to give the latter more meaning. 

INT. METHODIST CHURCH - YEARS LATER

Grainier is in his early 30's, looking like a stray animal. Singing along to the hymns. It's a small church. Not more than two dozen in the congregation.

NARRATOR (V.O.): He felt that nothing much attracted his interest, until, that is, he met Gladys Olding.

He watches GLADYS, singing in the choir. Her voice stands apart to him.

But when she looks at him, he's too shy to hold her gaze. He looks down to his choir book. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm not a huge fan of voice over, but here, it's used well.  

It gives context to the drop of the gaze, i.e., Robert is shy, yet really wants to connect, which is unusual for him.     

Train Dreams (2025)(undated)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Based on the book by Denis Johnson

2026 OSCARS: Hamnet (2025) - Telling, Not Showing" is Effective When the Pressure is Too Much (Emotional Life)

[Quick Summary: After William Shakespeare marries the forest-loving Agnes, they grieve the death of their son Hamnet.]

This script has a typical story arc about healing a rift when tragedy happens: 

Will and Agnes meet, marry, and have kids --> Their son Hamnet dies and they grieve --> They are reunited through Will writing the play "Hamlet." 

One thing I really liked about the script is how it expresses small emotional moments that eventually pile up into a barrier of communication. 

I thought it was interesting that the writers did this by breaking the "show, not tell rule"* with the reverse, i.e.,"telling and not showing."  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Will has been very unhappy at his father's glove making business.
- He and Agnes are married and living at his parents' house.
- Agnes wakes up in the night. Will is not there. He's trying to write at night.
- She tries to comfort him, but he yells at her.
- Notice how the "telling and not showing" is to clarify indescribable feelings, or a short cut language.  To explain it on screen is unnecessary.

INT. HENLEY HOUSE - ATTIC - NIGHT

...Once Susanna stops fussing, Agnes comes back to Will. She gently touches the back of his neck, trying to sooth him. But he turns his head away, wiping any tears he may shed. He will never let her see him weak.

WILL (CONT'D): I'm sorry. I've had too much to drink.  

She takes his hand. He flinches.

WILL (CONT'D)(controls himself): Please. Not now.

AGNES: What are you afraid I will see?

WILL: I'm a violent, dangerous man.

He is holding all the emotions in. They are threatening to burst out of his chest and kill him. [I particularly like this description of something he can't express.]

AGNES: You are none of that. You're a good man, a good man. 

He puts his arm around her waist. He lets her rub her fingers through his hair, soothing him.

AGNES (CONT'D): Is it...are you..do you wish we had not...wed? Is that it?

He looks up at her, his face pained, aghast.

WILL: No. Never. How could you say such a thing? You and Susanna are all I live for. Nothing else matters.

AGNES: What is it, then?

WILL: ...I don't know. I'm lost. I have lost my way, Agnes. The landscapes you saw... (changes his mind) It's nothing. It's nothing.

She knows what he means. Those landscapes she saw haven't been realized, and it's torturing him. But he says no more after that. [Note this "breaks a screenwriting rule" that you shouldn't include anything that can't be seen.  I think it's very effective here to explain emotions that the characters don't have to explain to each other.]

AGNES: ...What can I do for you?

WILL: Nothing, my love. Nothing.

She is now at a complete loss. 

WILL (CONT'D): Please go back to sleep. I need to work. All is well. I just need to work.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think "telling, not showing" can be effective.  Here, it connects a lot of dots for the reader quickly for things that are unnecessary to belabor.

Hamnet (2025)(undated)
by Chloe Zhao & Maggie O'Farrell
Based on the novel by Maggie O'Farrell

*You know how I feel about the so-called "screenwriting rules." They're guidelines when you need help. They're not absolute.  

2026 OSCARS: Marty Supreme (2025) - One Key to a Hair Pin "Reversal of Fortune" Moment (Hope-Fear)

[Quick Summary A table tennis player is thwarted as he schemes, cons, and hustles friends and strangers to finance a trip to the World Championship.]

TWO THOUGHTS: 

1)  PROS:
- This is a well written, script and reads fast.
- The script attempts to capture a bold, foolhardy emotional roller coaster.   
- The protagonist is an audacious, confident, unpleasantly selfish young man. 

CONS: 
- I appreciate the criticism that the story seems to be a scatter shot of events that aren't cohesive and build to something (episodic?).   
- Though life is very episodic, trying to connect events that are not "one of a whole" is distracting.  Also, the start-stop-start-stop rhythm is distracting.
- You'll either love its truthfulness, or hate the jerkiness of the flow.  

2) ALWAYS EMOTIONALLY TRUTHFUL.  Like its protagonist, the script takes big swings that may/may not work. For the most part, it works.

Why? I think it's because the writers were careful to be truthful with emotions, especially in the big moments.

For example, in the scene below:
- This is a hair pin, "reversal of fortune" moment.
- Milton Rockwell, a rich guy, offered to sponsor Marty in Japan.
- Marty turned Rockwell down because he had principles.
- Marty has slept with Milton's actress wife. Milton doesn't know.
- Now Marty is begging for that job back because he has no other options.
- Why would we believe Marty would change his mind now? Earlier, it was setup that there isn't anything he won't do - steal, bargain, con, etc.
- Then in this scene, emotions flip flop quickly between hope and fear, desperation and bravado. 
- Note that the audience can stick to these hair pin emotional turns because they're always truthful. Marty is really that fast - a fast speaker, a fast hustler, a fast opportunist.

EXT. MOROSCO THEATER - CONTINUOUS 

...MILTON steps into the car. The Chauffeur heads around to the driver's side. MARTY raps his knuckles on the window.

MARTY: Mr. Rockwell...(knock knock) Please.... (knock knock) Mr. Rockwell... [Fear. Descending. Desperation. He's at rock bottom.]

MILTON (voice muffled through the glass): What!

MARTY: Look, let's be pragmatists for a second. Put your personal feelings about me aside. You and I both know the kind of value I'd bring to an event with Endo on his home turf. You said so yourself. I'm like a stick of dynamite over there. Whatever other plans you've made, they're going to pale in comparison... [Hope. Ascending. There's hope, a crack in the door.]

A pause.

MARTY (CONT'D): Can we just sit and talk about this reasonably for 2 minutes? There's more than enough common ground here. [Hope. Ascending. He's widening the door.]

Another pause. 

MILTON: Fine, get in the car.

MARTY: Thank you!

MARTY runs around to the passenger side. MILTON motions to the driver and the car takes off. MARTY runs alongside it, banging on the window, until he can't keep up.  [Fear. Descending. The door is slammed.]

MARTY (CONT'D): SON OF A BITCH! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE THE IDEA IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!! [Fear. Descending fast into the ground.]

The car continues down the street. [Fear. Hits rock bottom again.]

Hold a few beats on MARTY, stewing. He steps back on the curb and realizes that Kay's ASSISTANT has been standing there, uncomfortable, waiting to speak to him. [Hair pin turn into hope. Ascending.]

MARTY (CONT'D): What!

ASSISTANT: Um, Ms. Stone would like to have lunch with you. [Hope. Ascending fast.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to staying on the rails, even in a hair pin "reversal of fortune" moment, is staying emotionally true to the character. 

I would've been pulled out of the story if Marty, who is a self-absorbed, fast talking, opportunistic person, suddenly grew a conscience, or slowed down to think. 

Marty Supreme (2025)(dated 2/2/25)
by Ronald Bronstein & Josh Safdie

2026 OSCARS: Blue Moon (2025) - This is NOT the Payoff Speech You Expect (Creating an Ironic, Emotionally Satisfying Ending)

[Quick Summary: Lorenz Hart, formerly of the famous Rodgers-Hart duo, struggles with alcoholism and regret on the opening night of the new Rodgers-Hammerstein musical, "Oklahoma!".]

THREE THOUGHTS: 

1) THE PROCESS. In several recent interviews, actor Ethan Hawke spoke about director Richard Linklater's process with the script.*  The most interesting tidbits:

1) "Linklater is very patient." It's taken 10 years to get the script right.
2) Hawke said he knew this was a very small target they were aiming for. 
3) Each time they'd get a draft, Linklater would call it "another layer of paint."

2) THE SCRIPT. I think this patience and persistence paid off.  It's a very tight script (only 85 pgs.), happens all in one night, and mostly in one location.  

It's also a wonderful character piece on how Hart often got in his own way. 

3) PAYOFF THAT PAYS OFF. I imagine getting Hart right was very hard: 

- He was short, overlooked, and full of contradictions (ex. self-destructive and smart; gay, but hopelessly in love with a woman).
- He was both the biggest and smallest person in the room.
- Hawke said that Hart kept talking, talking, talking because he wouldn't be noticed if he stopped. 

What does the writer do with a character who won't shut up? Here, it was fascinating to see the unexpected irony that the writer used in the structure.

To be more specific, the writer allowed Hart to talk, talk, talk for 3/4th of the script, then the woman he loves shuts him up in the last 1/4th with a brilliant monologue.

For example, in the scene below:
- Hart is in love with Elizabeth, who is 20 yrs. younger.
- Hart hasn't told her how he feels about her.
- She's still at Yale and stuck on Cooper, a friend's boyfriend and a junior at Yale.
- She thinks of Hart as a confidante, but doesn't ask much from him except to listen.
- He knows he's gay, but feels seen by her. It's the closest thing to love for him.
- At the party for "Oklahoma!," they go into a closet to have some privacy.
- She tells him about her humiliating 20th birthday with her crush, Cooper.
- On her birthday, they tried to have sex, but Cooper was too drunk and nervous. 
- A week later, Cooper asked her to dinner. They meet at his fraternity.
- This is one of Hart's most important scenes, and it's all in his reaction.
- Note that he's been talking all this time, self-absorbed -- until this moment when SHE becomes more important.
- Also, this is only part of Elizabeth's speech.  I'd highly recommend you read it in its entirety. It's a high wire act.  One of the best of deeply felt, exposing speeches for a female character.  

INT. SARDI'S BAR - ENTRANCE AREA - CONTINUOUS

...COAT ROOM AREA

ELIZABETH: In spades. I mean, it's suddenly pouring. We're practically tearing each other's clothes off. There is no conversation. And this time there is no difficulty. Not the first time. Not the second time.

HART: Stop.

ELIZABETH: He says to me, "Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth," and, you want to hear the unbelievable ending to this sordid little story That was the last time I saw him. That was November - over four months ago. I was absolutely sure he'd call. If only to have sex again, right? No. Never. I thought he'd write. No. So I call him, of course. He couldn't get off the phone fast enough.  So I wrote to him a four-page typed letter. Single-spaced. No response....

I tell myself it was like a fever dream, you know? And, maybe, the fever finally broke. And it all sounds sane and sensible, but, you know something, if he called me right now, right this very second, I'd drop everything in my life and drive three hours, drive thirty hours just to spend one more night with him. What is the matter with me, Larry? 

HART: Why would you drive thirty hours to see someone who treated you like that?

ELIZABETH: Because I'm in love with him?

HART: ...You are?

ELIZABETH: It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic. And this is not the first time this has happened to me. It keeps happening to me. I feel like I can't see people clearly. 

She struggles to take a deep breath. He takes out his pocket handkerchief and hands it to her. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This payoff ending was emotionally satisfying because:
- The first 3/4 of the script (Hart talking) builds up to this last 1/4 (Hart silenced).
- This speech delivers a comeuppance to Hart in an unusual way.
-  I expected him to talk over her. Hart's silence thwarted my expectations.
- Hart shows us how he was his own worst enemy, and the structure mimics it.

Blue Moon (2025)(1/9/25 conformed script)
by Robert Kaplow
Inspired by the letters of Lorenz Hart and Elizabeth Weiland 

* For example: here, here, and here.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Empire of the Sun (1987) - The Art of Planting Symbols with Misdirection (Setup)

[Quick Summary: A 11 y.o. English school boy struggles to survive in China during the Japanese occupation of WWII.]

I didn't read this because it was directed by Steven Spielberg, starred Christian Bale, or that it was based on author J.G. Ballard's life.

I was interested because it was written by playwright Tom Stoppard, who knows how to structure for the most dramatic effect.*

For example, the scene below does not seem to be hiding anything:
- Jim's parents are taking him to a party in nearby Chinese countryside.
- There are several English speaking Brits and Americans in the community.
- Mr. Maxted is a fellow party attendee.
- After Jim wanders off after his toy plane, the audience thinks it knows what this scene is about: a fearful encounter with a Japanese sergeant. 
- The audience doesn't really notice the toy plane, which will become an important symbol later for Jim.
- This scene a setup for a much deeper payoff near the end of the film. 
- The misdirection of the scene is that there is more than one meaning, but we'll only know it later, when we recall this scene.
- It's real artistry to know the dramatic effect this will have on the audience later, i.e., the recall to this scene is much more emotionally satisfying rather than spelling it out explicitly.

EXT. ABANDONED AIRFIELD - DAY

...JIM'S POV - THE MODEL PLANE 

sails quite a ways and lands on top of a ruined blockhouse. Jim runs after it and starts climbing up the slope. From his vantage point, Jim sees a FULLY-ARMED JAPANESES SOLDIER looking up at him from a trench only a few yards away. Then he sees that there are MORE SOLDIERS sitting along the whole length of the trench...and that there is a second trench also full of JAPANESE SOLDIERS, sitting and smoking and glancing up at Jim. He has come across a company of Japanese infantry concealed on the old battlefield. As Jim watches, a JAPANESE SERGEANT gets to his feet casually picking up his rifle and stamping out a cigarette. The sergeant climbs out of the trench and, ignoring Jim, moves to start cutting off Jim's retreat. Sighing quietly to himself, the sergeant starts to climb up the slop toward Jim. Jim is now frightened. Jim's father's voice is HEARD calling from the distance. 

JIM' FATHER (os): Jamie!

The sergeant stops climbing and looks thoughtful.

We SEE Jim's father, still dressed as a pirate, anxiously searching the field and calling Jim's name. From where he is, Jim's father can see the Japanese sergeant and more Japanese  infantry half-concealed in the grass. Then he sees Jim approach in the distance. Jim's father makes to start running. He is immediately stopped by Maxted's level voice.  

ANOTHER ANGLE

We see Maxted has also moved into the airfield.

MAXTED: Stand still, John.

Jim's father holds his breath while Jim approaches, skirting another trench, watched by Japanese soldiers.

JIM'S FATHER (frightened): Hello, Jamie. Don't run.

Jim reaches his father and they turn and walk back hand-in-hand toward the house, Maxted also waiting for them on their way. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Another way to conceal information from the audience is to put it in the scene, but add a more imminent threat as the misdirection.

Empire of the Sun (1987)(undated draft)
by Tom Stoppard
Based on the novel by J.G. Ballard

*As a side note, I felt less alone when I read this quote from Stoppard that he also lacked understanding of his own processes: 

“If there’s anything God-given about writing, with me it’s the gift of dialogue,” says Tom Stoppard. “Not to be falsely self-deprecating about this in a nice English way: I know I write nice dialogue. But I don’t know how I write nice dialogue.” 

TODAY'S NUGGET: This Man, This Woman (Unproduced) - One of The Best at "Can't Live With/Without You" Emotional Gridlock

[Quick Summary: After many years apart, a film director and a sculptor (who were once married)  unexpectedly meet again on a plane.]

Though unproduced, this script was written by Frederic Raphael, whom I consider one of the best at memory time jumps (see here) and showing emotional gridlock. 

Raphael is particularly good at the bittersweet of "I can't live with you, I can't live without you." This keeps us wanting to know what comes next.

For example, in the scene below:
- Matt and Martha got married, had a son, then had an acrimonious divorce for unknown reasons.
- Several years later, their paths crossed when they were seated together on a plane.
- They have just had a cautiously pleasant conversation.
- This scene shows they're defensive, so they're not connecting, yet they have a great dynamic together.
- This scene keeps us wondering what is keeping them apart.
- The banter is a trademark of this writer's voice. It's not just clever, but also pointed and humorous. 

INT. THE PLANE. DAY.

... They both "sleep", smiling faintly. This sparring is not without warmth. But it's dangerous.

MATT: Are you busy?

MARTHA: Yeah, I'm pretty busy. 

MATT: I meant, like now, are you? 

MARTHA: I meant now. What do you want me to do? Sew on a button?

MATT: Take a look at this script.

MARTHA: You know your trouble, Matthew?

MATT: Sure. I haven't done anything great. But I have made my father feel proud of me. And ashamed of himself. I set him up in business finally. I hope that was nice of me.

MARTHA: What's it all about?

MATT: My mother was right to throw him out, but I can't forgive her for marrying him.

MARTHA: That's very up-front of you, but I only meant: what's the script all about?

MATT gives her the look. What a bitch sometimes!

MATT: It's a re-make...

MARTHA: You always said they never worked.

She's hit a nerve. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really like that the gridlock comes from character, i.e., each side has something historically unresolved between them. Yet they do what everyone does in the meanwhile, and try to carry on.  

The intrigue/suspense for me is the fact that Martha is difficult and pushes Matt, but she's the only one who will tell him the truth (and vice versa). 

This Man, This Woman (unproduced)
by Frederic Raphael 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Something Wild (1996) - To Unleash Messy Inner Desires, Pinpoint the Deep Want/Desire (Character)

[Quick Summary: A rule breaking free spirit seduces a straight laced VP to leave his responsibilities behind, but her ex-convict husband tracks them down.]

One of the hallmarks of a well-crafted script is when it's emotionally (but not structurally) messy.  

Writer E. Max Frye seems to have a knack for this by ensuring the characters are well rounded.  He carefully selects what the characters want so that they conflict.*

In today's script, for example:
- Lulu is well meaning, but also selfish.  She's driven by desire, fun with no strings.  
- Charles is super-responsible, but emotionally starved.  He desperately wants the adventure that Lulu represents. 
- I wondered, "Why doesn't Charles simply walk away?" It's because he's dry timber and she's a flame.  She provokes his deep desire, bypassing his normal caution. 
- Note that the emotions are messy, but not the structure of the scene.

EXT. MOTEL 

...LULU (interrupting): You have money?

He looks at her questioningly

LULU (CONT.): I mean for the room. The rest is free.

He pulls will wallet out.

CHARLES: I can't use the credit cards 'cause they're all company plastic. Our accountant would sure wonder what I was doing in a cheap motel in the middle of Jersey on a Friday afternoon.

LULU: Use the cash.

CHARLES: I can't use it.

LULU: Why not?

He hesitates and looks at her sheepishly. 

CHARLES: It's money for the Christmas Club.

LULU: What's a Christmas Club?

CHARLES: You put money every week into the Christmas Club. It's at my bank. That way when Christmas comes you're not low on cash. I do it every year. This is money for the Christmas Club. I can't spend it.

She looks at him incredulously.

LULU: Charlie, are you telling me we're not going to get a room 'cause you're saving money for Christmas presents...In the middle of June?

He looks at the money then at her. He sees her legs, on her hips and the pouting red mouth. He sees her breasts pushing out of her shirt toward him. He sees a young woman waiting for him to get a motel room so they can go to bed.

CHARLES: Oh, to hell with Christmas. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really appreciated the clarity of these character's desires.  They're messy and conflict, i.e., interesting, but I was also never lost.

Something Wild (1996)(10/31/25, 2nd draft)
by E. Max Frye

*FYI: I will be exploring more of his work in these next four scripts. 

TODAY'S NUGGET: A Man Who Loved Women (1983) - Blake Edwards Creates Romantic Push-Pull Externalized into Action

[Quick Summary: David, a womanizing sculptor, seeks help from his female psychiatrist about his obsession with women and inability to make decisions.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) STARS GALORE! This film, adapted and directed by Blake Edwards, had plenty of star power: Burt Reynolds, Julie Andrews, and Kim Bassinger. 

2) ADAPTATION ISSUES. I thought this was an admirable attempt at adapting a French film. But this might be one of the comedies that doesn't translate well.*

2) ROMANTIC COMMITMENT. Romantic farce** is about ridiculing how humans mess up the basics of love with their vices and follies. 

This script plays with the protagonist's (David) indecisiveness to commit. He's unwilling to sacrifice one for the other.  Maybe he just loves the chase too much?***

This scene below demonstrates David's internal push-pull emotions: 
- David has just met Young Woman at the store during Christmas shopping.  
- David helps carry her packages to her apartment, while walking and talking.
- David has just asked the Young Woman out to dinner, but sees Legs walk by and is distracted.
- Note how David's internal push-pull is externalized into action.  He's half listening.  He's with Young Woman but his attention is on Legs.

EXT. STREET - MOVING SHOT - NIGHT

...YOUNG WOMAN: I've been going steady with someone for nearly a year now...

They reach her car.

YOUNG WOMAN (continuing): ...but if I had to be honest, it's not working out.

She takes out her keys, unlocks the door, while David struggles with the choice of staying or pursuing the legs. 

YOUNG WOMAN: ...so the prospect of having dinner with you...

 DAVID (frantically): Look... (dumps the packages on the hood of the car) Don't move. Stay right here... (steps into the street) I'll be right back. (starts to cross the street) Please don't leave...

YOUNG WOMAN: But I can't...

He stops, looks after the legs, then at the Young Woman. He is frozen like an animal, caught in the car's headlights.

YOUNG WOMAN (continuing; screams): Look out!

ONCOMING CAR

As the terrified driver slams on the brakes.

DAVID

The split second before the impact.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed by how David's internal emotions we seen in actions.

I do admit, however, the overall script left me feeling unsatisfied, unresolved and shaggy (which could be the point?)  

The Man Who Loved Women (1983)(Oct., 1982 final draft)
by Blake Edwards & Geoffrey Edwards
Adapted from Francois Truffaut's L'homme qui aimait les femmes (1977)

*Critic Roger Ebert was not complimentary of this film:

"Here is a sad movie with a funny movie inside trying to get out...This movie is a remake, by the way, of a little-seen 1977 Francois Truffaut film. In the Truffaut, the man was seen as something of a victim, suffering from an incurable disease. The tip-off to the phoniness of the Reynolds version is that the movie seems to be recommending the disease."   

I think he's right that the problem might've been the change of focus, i.e., switching from "commitment is a virtue" to the polar opposite, "commitment-phobic is the virtue."

**As a refresher, farce relies on satire:

- Farce (n.) - a light dramatic composition marked by broadly satirical comedy and improbable plot

- Satire (n.) -  a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn

***I really loved Roger Ebert's extremely astute observation of this character:

"He [David] thinks he loves them, but he's not a love, he's a collector....The problem with a man who loves all women is that he can love a woman."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) - Visceral Reactions That Lend Action Packed Energy on the Page

[Quick Summary: When a married schoolteacher with amnesia appears on tv, she is outed as a counter-assassin and becomes a target of former colleagues.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1)  FEMALE ACTION STAR & THE BOX OFFICE. To me, it's important to understand the box office, so as to be aware of what audiences are paying to see. 

Today's script about a "girl-with-the-gun" struggled at the 1996 box office.  Interestingly, not much has changed, even as of this weekend.*  

2) ENERGY ON THE PAGE. I do admire Shane Black trying a female led action film at the height of his popularity.

He has a knack for conveying energy on the page, which is often difficult to do.  

Here, I like how the protagonist experiences visceral reactions that motivates her into frenzied action. 

For example, in the scene below: 
- The protagonist has lost her memory and is calling herself Samantha, though her real name is Charly.
- She is stretched out on a water wheel that's fed by cold river water.
- The bad guys are torturing her to see if she's really an amnesiac.
- I like that the energy comes from the character's emotions.
- One source is from confusion.  Samantha does not know her violent past. 
- Another source is from anger, from being wronged.  She has no idea why she's being tortured and this type of survival vengeance is particularly vicious and unstable. 

INT. BASEMENT OF OLD MILL - THE PRESENT

... UNDER THE WATER - HELL - SAME

Here we are again, in the world of silence and blinding PAIN. Despair and madness but now there's something else -- Now there's RAGE.  [The primary motivators are confusion, anger.]

It takes losing most of the FLESH from her right wrist... But she frees the hand. WRENCHES it loose. The water turns soupy red around it. GROPES, blindly. Fingers NUMB, so fucking cold -- Breath, running out. No air. NO TIME. [Her physical struggles to free herself are like her mental struggles to make sense of this weird situation.]

She darts her right hand forward. Toward the obscenely bobbing CORPSE of Nathan. Does something grotesque, jams her hand DOWN THE CORPSE'S PANTS -- [I like that she's a thinking protagonist & remembers what Nathan had said earlier.]

Hideaway gun, it's right where he said, right beside Mr. Wally. PSP-25 Semi-auto, steel jackets. She waits. Rage inside her. Death in her hands.

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE SURFACE

The wheel CREAKS. Groans. The terrorist in the western boots watches her emerge, face first -- She comes up firing. [This is a great image, but also metaphorical.]

The first slug takes him in the knee. Blows it to scraps. He collapses, howling. She shifts aim. THE RED BUTTON. No hesitation. BLAM-! Hits it DEAD ON. Stops the wheel. Incredible.

Doesn't blink. Unties her captive hand. BLOWS TO SPLINTERS the wood surrounding her feet. Leaps to solid ground as 

ANOTHER ANGLE

Daedalus looks up from his prone position. In agony. A vision from Hell approaches: A fiendish blue-skinned woman in a sodden nightgown. Blood leaking from one wrist. She has rise, REBORN, from the icy waters.

DAEDALUS: Samantha... Please..!

CHARLY: Who's Samantha? [She's still angry, but also learning more about herself.]

She shoots him in the other knee. He HOWLS. Gun, empty. She tosses it aside. In a nearby crate: ASSAULT RIFLES. Snatches up a Kalashnikov and clip. Kneels and says:

CHARLY: You see it in the movies, badguy says, "Talk to me and I'll let you live." We're gonna run a variation, it goes like this: Take to me..? I'll let you die. 

She fires again. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked that the emotions led the action, and that they aren't put on hold during a fight. It's messy both physically and mentally as her memories surface.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)(2/24/95 revised draft)
by Shane Black

* This weekend, another female led action film was released,  From the World of John Wick: Ballerina (2025).

As of yesterday, Deadline stated that the film made $25M, on a reported budget of $90M, and went on to speculate the reasons why:

"There's also the sense that many have already seen these girl-with-the-gun movies before, and there are plenty of copycats on streaming (i.e. Charlize Theron's The Old Guard, Gal Gadot's Heart of Stone, Jennifer Lopez's The Mother) - so why rush out? But this one is through the lense of John Wick, and ya know, stunts! But you can't just swap out our favorite puppy-loving, gun-toting surfer dude for a female lead, and that's potentially why more of the Wick-faithful aren't going."

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Last Boy Scout (1991) - Varying the Amounts of Suspense + Surprise in Escalating Stakes

[Quick Summary: After a hooker dies in front of her boyfriend and the p.i. she hired for protection, the two men uncover a political conspiracy while finding her killer.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1)  MISOGYNISTIC? Critics have called this film misogynistic (example here). On the page, I didn't particularly think so, but I can see how the overall film could be. 

2)  ESCALATING STAKES.  Writer Shane Black is well known for his action scripts.  One of the keys is that the stakes escalate in unpredictable ways. 

Also, the combination of suspense (ex. we know the dynamite is going to explode) and surprise (ex. explosion has unexpected consequences) isn't formulaic.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Hallenbeck is the p.i.  Jimmy is the victim's boyfriend. 
- They found dynamite on the victim's car. 
- Hallenbeck takes the dynamite as evidence and moves it to his trunk. 
- Suddenly, two thugs hold them up their car keys.
- Notice that the mixture of suspense and surprise seems to build organically, which adds to the thrill. 
- Note: Though the slugline only says "interior", the action soon spills into the exterior parking lot.

INT.  HALLENBECK'S PLYMOUTH - NIGHT

...Hallenbeck smiles. Calmly turns and throws the keys as far as he can. They land off in the woods.

HALLENBECK: Oops. Don't know my own strength.

TALL MAN: You dumb bastard, you're going to pay for that. Jake, open the trunk.

Jake steps forward, raises the Beretta to shoot open the lock. Hallenbeck tenses, waiting. Looks to a sloping hillside off to his left. Jake FIRES at the lock. The BULLET BLOWS THROUGH the TRUNK -- and HITS three live sticks of DYNAMITE.  [I like that the action here is not telegraphed early.  Jake raises his gun, but he might change his mind --> Hallenbeck reacts, waits --> Jake fires --> bullet hits --> dynamite.]

Joe is already throwing himself and Jimmy down the hillside as the night lights up like a sunburst. The trunk lid is blown fifty feet in the air.

Glass sprays in every direction... Jimmy and Joe careen down the hillside like rag puppets. Lurch to a stop at the bottom. Bruised. Bloody. [We expect the scene to end here, maybe with a quip.]

Side by side, sucking wind -- until a noise intrudes, the sound of CRUMPLING METAL... getting LOUDER. They look up -- and there's the flaming car tumbling end over end down the hill, toward them. [Instead, there is an unexpected surprise of a falling car. It's like "out of the pan, into the fire."]

JIMMY: Son of a bitch!

They dive aside just in time as the car plows past them and slams to a stop against a tree. Burns. Jimmy looks at Joe. Joe looks at Jimmy. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the combination of 3/4 suspense and 1/4 surprise because: 
a) it's purely about escalating stakes, and 
b) the emotion feels genuine, uncalculated, and not following a set formula.

The Last Boy Scout (1991)(2/25/91 with additional revisions)
by Shane Black
Story by Shane Black and Greg Hicks

TODAY'S NUGGET: My Favorite Wife (1940) - Making It Easy for the Audience to Follow Trickster Characters (Structure)

[Quick Summary: After being missing for 7 years, an anthropologist returns to find her husband has just re-married that day.]

I love Cary Grant as a "trickster" character in screwball comedies because he often paint himself into a corner. How will he get out of this?!

Tricksters make wild decisions on a whim, causing many twists and turns.  Thus it is important to keep the story line fairly straightforward and relatable.

ex. This script's structure has a lot of twists and turns:
- Ellen, an anthropologist on an expedition, is presumed dead at sea.
- It turns out she's spent the last 7 years on a deserted island.
- She returns to find her husband Nick has just married wife #2, Bianca.  
- Nick finds out Ellen is not only alive, but had been on the island with Mr. Burkett, a fellow traveler on the ship.
- Ellen brings in a fake Burkett to meet Nick.
- Nick brings the real Burkett to confront Ellen.
- However, the real Burkett surprises them by declaring he wants to marry Ellen. 
- Despite all this ruckus, note that the simple jealousy story line makes it easy for the audience to follow the action.
- I also liked the smart (but hard to pull off) structural twist: Nick must choose between two wives --> It flips to Ellen now must choose between two husbands. 

Here's a sample of showing jealousy.  Note how it doesn't rush the emotions:

 EXT. GARDEN - DAY

...MED. CLOSE SHOT - of Nick, as he watches, fascinated apparently.

LONG SHOT - Burkett, beautifully build, ascends the lower diving board. He leaps from the diving board and catches the rings in mid-air. 

CLOSE SHOT - as the figure swirls through an intricate movement, every muscle showing.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as his head moves from left to right with Burkett's movements.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Burkett, as his chest expands to the breaking point.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as he stares, horrified.

LONG SHOT - as Burkett completes a complicated maneuver.

LONG SHOT - as the spectators burst into spontaneous applause.

MED. CLOST SHOT - as Nick feebly joins in applause.

LONG SHOT - figure still swinging.

                                                                               DISSOLVE

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Trickster characters are inherently contradictory and conflicted, i.e., interesting to watch. Thus, keep the plot simple.

Also, take your time allowing the emotions to rise/fall, as in the scene above. Most of the fun is watching tricksters squirm and evade problems. 

My Favorite Wife (1940)(undated draft)
by Bella & Sam Spewack
Story by Bella & Sam Spewack, and Leo McCarey

2025 OSCARS: A Complete Unknown (2024) - The Line That Describes What the Tension in the Atmosphere Feels Like

[Quick Summary: In 1961, Bob Dylan comes to NYC, where he meets his heroes and significant women in his life.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

CON OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: There's a bias toward certain stories.

PRO OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: Learning what the industry says is the most innovative writing in the last year.

Though today's script wasn't particularly innovative in the biopic genre, I thought it captured atmosphere succinctly, which is often very difficult to do.

I could not decide between my favorite two lines, so I include them both here:

EXAMPLE 1:
- Joan and Bob have just spent the first night together.
- She asks Bob to sing one of his new songs.  She joins in.*
- The line below tries to explain what the tension in the air feels like:

INT. BOB'S APARTMENT -- DAWN

...No one is brave today... 

EXAMPLE 2: 
- Bob has put other things above Sylvie too many times.
- One day, he shows up on a motorcycle and shouts up to her apartment.
- The line below unfolds her inner life that creates an unspoken frisson around her:

EXT. SYLVIE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

...She crosses to Bob and climbs on the bike knowing full well this is stupid. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's good to know the writer's rule ("only write what the audience can see") and when to break it (ex. sometimes a writer can only describe atmosphere by describing what a character's internal state is).

A Complete Unknown (2024) 
by James Mangold and Jay Cocks

* As a side note, I loved the description of their singing: "The rusty knife of Bob's voice blunts the beauty of Joan's."

2025 OSCARS: September 5 (2024) - The Line That Shows "Instinct" in Action

[Quick Summary: The ABC Sports team must figure out how to report a hostage-terrorist situation nearby their 1972 Munich Olympics broadcast location.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

In this script, I liked the propulsive energy, much of which is told through visuals.

For example, Roone Arledge, President of ABC Sports, was journalist who understood instinctually how to to tell the story via visuals.

How does one SHOW instinct?  Usually through actions rather than dialogue, because it's a spontaneous "feel" rather than a calculated thought.

For example, in the scene below:
- Roone Arledge, President of ABC Sports, tells the director to cut away from the winner, Mark Spitz, and toward the "hopelessly exhausted face of the German swimmer."
- The tv director questions the decision, but directs the camera as instructed.
- The commentator picks up on Arledge's thinking and smoothly gives context, i.e., what it means for this German swimmer at the Munich Games.
- Arledge's journalistic instinct honed in on the big picture: not just the game itself, but the personal, as well as the larger geo-political realities.
- This demonstrates so well the art of instinct: Arledge knew the more interesting angle (and less commonplace one) would be the losing athlete, rather than the winner.

INT. ABC SPORTS' 1972 OLYMPICS STUDIO, CONTROL ROOM

...On the main monitor: the hopelessly exhausted face of the German swimmer. The commentator immediately understands Roone's decision and rounds out the narrative.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This is an example of how to let the audience put 2 + 2 together.

September 5 (2024) 
by Moritz Binder & Tim Fehlbaum, and Alex David

2025 OSCARS: The Substance (2025) - The Line That Begins an Emotional Transition Sequence

[Quick Summary: An aging fitness star tries the Substance to allow her younger self to exist, but it turns dark when the latter wants more than 7 allotted days at a time.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I was impressed that about 90% of this film occurs in a single apartment, but never feels short changed.  I can identify two reasons:

a) The Substance process is secretive, which lends itself to a single location. 

b) Its superb emotional transitions are sequenced very well to topple from each other like dominoes, and keep the audience so absorbed that it doesn't notice.  

As an example of an emotional transition, I chose the first sentence (below):
- This sentence starts the arc of the emotional transition.
- Because transitions rely on context, by their nature, I've included the rest of the scene to show the entire arc of the transition.
- Previous to this scene, Elisabeth dumped a USB stick that advertised The Substance.
- The action of dumping wilted flowers is both how Elisabeth feels (disgust) and a metaphor for her life. 
- Dumping flowers (disgust) + the USB retrieval (hope) = Shows Elisabeth's conflict of emotions.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

...Elisabeth grabs the wilted flowers from the table, heads to the kitchen and...

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

...throws them in the trash can.

BLACK

A long silent beat.

CLACK - LOW ANGLE SHOT FROM INSIDE THE TRASH CAN WHICH OPENS AGAIN - revealing Elisabeth's face framed by the black can.

She leans over, sticks her hand inside the black bucket...

...and retrieves the USB stick, covered in sticky residue. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I thought this was a good example of how an audience grasps a character's emotional transition through a sequence of the character's actions (structure).

Also, it was illuminating how the writer kept it simple: one sentence, one action.  She didn't try to overload each sentence with too much business.

The Substance (2024)(5/3/22 draft)
by Coralie Fargeat

TODAY'S NUGGET: The 'Burbs (1989) - Funny is Self-Inflicted Assumptions

[Quick Summary: After neighbor Walter goes missing, the other neighbors assume a mysterious neighbor has kidnapped him, and investigate.]

GOOD NEWS: This script has some fun moments, but it's an okay script.

BAD NEWS: It's an okay script, and it's hard to put one's finger on why.* **

GOOD NEWS: I thought there were amusing + tense moments, especially when the cause is imagined and/or self-inflicted.

For example, in the scene below:
- Ray (protagonist) is curious about the new, unsociable next-door neighbors. 
- The whole neighborhood is curious about their mysterious basement noises too.
- Walter, another neighbor, has been missing for several days.
- Art, the wacky neighbor, thinks the new neighbors have kidnapped Walter. 
- Art just rang the new neighbors' doorbell and slipped a note: "I know what you did" to scare them.
- Art runs to Ray's backyard to wake up Ray, who is napping.
- While they're talking, Vince, Ray's dog, digs up a bone.
- Note the flow of rising and falling tension: Art's impulsive act leads to this tense moment --> increased by Vince finding the bone --> heightened by the unseen smoker next door --> ESCAPE! --> brought to shrieking halt by Carol's appearance.
- It's also funny, because Art started the drama by jumping to conclusions.

EXT. RAY'S BACK YARD - DAY

...ART (thrusts [the bone] at him): Look at it! This thing didn't come off a chicken! Where'd he get it?

Ray stutters and then -- his eyes lock on the fence and he blanches. 

RAY: The fence...he...pulled it out from under the fence...

Art looks once at the fence and his jaw drops.

ART: Jesus Christ! Ray! There's no doubt anymore! This is real! They killed him! They cut him up! And then they buried him in the yard!

He holds the bone in front of his face.

ART: This is Walter!

Involuntarily, Ray screams.

RAY: Aaaaagh!

MEN

PSYCHO PANIC MUSIC SHRIEKS. CAMERA ZOOMS IN AND OUT REPEATEDLY ON the bone and the screaming men in a disorienting acid-fright nightmare effect. Then...

Suddenly, Art springs on Ray and clamps a hand over his mouth! Art's eyes are wide and trained next door, where we hear a SCREEN DOOR SLAM. We start a SLOW, SUSPENSEFUL PAN OVER TO...

FENCE

All we can make out through the slats are shadows, but we can hear FOOTSTEPS on the grass within the yard...and they're coming closer...

PATIO

Art and Ray stand frozen, petrified, as the FOOTSTEPS CLOSE IN on the fence.

FENCE

Now the shadow and the footsteps are nose-to-nose with  the fence, a puff of smoke curling upward from just the other side. The WOOD CREAKS as a couple of slats bend inward, indicating the smoker is leaning on the fence, peeking through a crack.

ART AND RAY

hold each other, paralyzed with fear.

FENCE

CREAKS a little more. Then, up over the top, comes a crumpled piece of paper. It lands softly in the grass, and the smoking presence retreats. The SCREEN DOOR SLAMS again.

ART AND RAY

Art breaks from the patio, leaving Ray frozen stiff. In a crouch, he runs to the wad of paper and furiously opens it. His expression turns dark and he looks at Ray.

ART: My note...

Ray's eyes bulge and he breaks for the back door just as...

CAROL

opens the back door.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked that this scene was based on Art's internal assumptions, which he acted upon, i.e., making the inner emotions seen externally.

The 'Burbs (1989)(4/15/88 draft, revised)
by Dana Olsen

* Ebert writes: "It’s hard to put your finger on exactly what’s missing from the movie. The actors do what they can with the material and the special effects are ambitious, but somehow the film fails to rouse itself into any real conviction. It’s cut and dried; we anticipate the major events in the story and we’re right. And when the explanation for the strange family’s behavior finally arrives, it’s not much of a surprise."

**For what it's worth, I think it might be to do with the low stakes:  Neighbors are curious about the new neighbors, who may have "kidnapped" a fellow neighbor, and investigate.

But what will happen if they don't investigate?  Not much.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Firm (1993) - How Robert Towne Sneaks Something Extra Into A Montage

[Quick Summary: When a white shoe Memphis law firm seduces a new law school grad, he discovers that it is not the trustworthy firm that he had thought it to be.]

Q: What is the purpose of montages? 
A: Most writers use them as fast and quick information dumps, ex. back story, additional facts, minor characters, etc.

Q: You mean there are other uses?
A:  Experienced writers will make them do double duty, ex. add motives in subtext. 

But exceptional writers will sneak something unusual into them. For example, in today's script, writer Robert Towne shows the characters' emotional progression.

In the scene below:
- Mitch is beginning to work at The Firm. 
- Previously, he and his wife Abby were living in a small Boston apartment, but very happy.
- Yes, this is a standard information dump of their new lives in Memphis.
- But it also shows what motivates the couple (wealth, connection).
- And most impressively, it moves us through emotional changes through increased separation, physically (spending time apart) and emotionally (not a team).

MONTAGE - DAY

A. Mitch's office: An exquisite cherrywood desk is put in place.

B. School Classroom. Abby writing on the blackboard, "My name is Abigail McDeere."

C. Mitch's office. An Early American painting being carefully hung on the wall.

D. Mitch's face watching luxurious items put in place in the office.

E. Tailor shop. Through the window we see Mitch being fitted in new clothes. Avery, arms folded, watches.

F. The Firm. Mitch at the huge library table, pouring over various volumes.

G. McDeere House. Abby, propped up in ed alone, grading papers.

H. Mitch's fingers as he runs them along the leaded panes of an imposing breakfront.

I. Mitch's office -- transformed. Oliver beams at Mitch, behind his exquisite desk, in his perfect office.

K. McDeere house. Night. Mitch rushes in, looks for Abby. Hearsay comes bounding up, jumps on Mitch.

Mitch notices a note wrapped around his collar. He unrolls it. WE SEE it reads: GAVE UP WAITING. SHARE BOWL OF KIBBLE WITH BEARER OF NOT. YOUR FIRST WIFE  ABBY.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The level of difficulty in this montage reminds me why Robert Towne was so sought after for his craftsmanship.

First, it is simple to read. Second, I marveled at depth of the emotional arc, while still maintaining the speed of the narrative. It still felt like these are real people, in a real relationship. Third, it's cinematic. 

The Firm (1993)(12/2/92 draft)
by Robert Towne & David Rayfiel
Adapted from the novel by John Grisham

TODAY'S NUGGET: Personal Best (1982) - What the "Weather of These Women's Hearts" with Power Dynamics Looks Like

[Quick Summary: Complicated power dynamics arise when Chris, a second string female college athlete, gets involved with Tory, her bisexual female friend/competitor/role model.]

Q: Why are writer Robert Towne's scripts still so great?
A: He combined two things writers have in short supply: confidence, and an understanding of people that he was able to express on paper.

Q: I understand people. Why aren't my characters as well-rounded?
A: Roger Ebert explains what makes Towne so good:

What distinguishes “Personal Best” is that it creates specific characters–flesh-and-blood people with interesting personalities, people I cared about. “Personal Best” also seems knowledgeable about its two subjects, which are the weather of these women’s hearts, and the world of Olympic sports competition. (emphasis mine)

Q: You mean fickle feelings? What's the big deal?
A: Towne is exceptionally good at knowing how to play humans against each other.  He can tease several strands of human emotion into one coil.*

It is evident in the scene I've chosen below, as well as the scene prior.

In the prior scene:
- Chris meets Tory's ex-boyfriend Willie Lee at a party after an Olympic trials meet.
- Tory drinks and dances with Willie Lee, smokes a joint, and takes coke.
- The coach (another of Tory's ex-flings) enters and sees Tory is unwell.
- He tells Tory to go to bed, but Tory refuses to go without Chris.
- Chris is happy talking with friends.
- Tory tells Chris it's "time for bed," but Chris isn't ready to leave.
- Angry Tory yanks Chris, ends up hitting a fellow competitor.  She is escorted out.
- The coach pulls Chris aside to asks her to continue to look out for Tory.
- Wow, look at all the various strands of emotion that Towne pulled! EVERYONE had different secrets (agendas, addictions, crushes, etc.)

In the scene below:
- The next day, Tory apologizes to Chris, who doesn't understand why Tory was so angry.
- Notice here that Chris begs Tory to stay together.  Later, when Chris is stronger, and Tory wants to help her, Chris will push her away.
- Also note the ebb and flow of the power dynamics.  In the previous scene, Tory was the needy one.  Now it has flipped and Chris is the vulnerable one.

INT. FALCON - CAL POLY TRACK PARKING LOT - DAY

TORY: You worry about what everybody thinks - why should you be different with me?
CHRIS: I guess I'm not.

She starts out of the car.

TORY: There's only one thing to do Chris - see other people.
CHRIS: See other people? What are you talking about?
TORY: Either we're together or we're not together.
CHRIS: Jesus Chris, Tory, we're friends.
TORY: Yeah, we may be friends but every little once in a while we also fuck each other - and you can't face that.  It hurts - and pain is pain and to do anything you got to live with it and you can't and I can't make you. Either we move out or I move out and we really are friends.
CHRIS:  -  no.
TORY: No?

Chris is clearly stunned by Tory. 

CHRIS: - I..I..need to be around you. I need to know you're there..I..Just need to be around you.

Tory smiles tightly.

TORY: Oh hell, don't worry. We'll still work out together.
CHRIS: No that's not it you make me feel like I can really do something, like I'm really gonna do..I just need you...

She trails off clutching at Tory's hand. Tory stares at Chris' white-knuckled hand over hers. WIth mild disgust: 

TORY:  - for what?

Chris continues to stares at her own lap. Tory impatiently turns away and looks out the window. Finally, a whisper: 

CHRIS: I just need you.

Tory mutters 'oh, fuck' at the seeming tepid response and starts out of the car. She's jerked back by the fierce grip Chris has on her hand. Surprised and annoyed she turns on Chris.

CHRIS

stares back trembling, then finally has to look down again - still grips Tory's hand.

TORY

tries to hold out but her resolve finally breaks.

TORY: All right, weirdo, let's go work out. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon - 

Chris nods gratefully and the two bound out of the car.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't find the characters talking about feelings boring here at all. I think it's because they made unexpected, yet very honest choices, with stakes.

Personal Best (1982)
Written & directed by Robert Towne

* As a sidebar, I will note:
1) Showing these patterns of behavior often requires more time, i.e., higher page count.

2) I was surprised that I did not feel any dragging in the 172 pages of this script. 

3) Towne wrote AND directed this script, so was likely not hemmed in by someone else demanding fewer pages.