TODAY'S NUGGET: The Day After Tomorrow (unproduced) - An Effective Use of "SAME TIME" and "CUT TO:" for Clarity, Tempo

[Quick Summary: After he spots the man who killed his father, a traumatized surgeon goes on the run to pursue the killer.]

Writers Clement and la Frenais are well-known for their humor, but I have also enjoyed their action chops. 

Today's script has great action that's easy to follow, even though there are multiple, simultaneous story arcs.  I wasn't ever lost or confused.  How did they do it? 

As I read, I noticed two helpful sets of transition words that I tend to forget to use*: 

1) Using SAME TIME - This was sort of a "hold the main arc for a minute, we're taking a side trip" reminder to me.

 2) Using "CUT TO:" - When reading at full speed, I didn't pay much attention to this.  Looking back, I do think it's very helpful as a rhythm thing, to unconsciously flag that there was going to be a switch in tempo. 

The scene below is a good example that uses both these transitions: 
- Paul was a child, when Kanarack killed Paul's father.
- Paul saw Kanarack in their house and never forgot Kanarack's face.
- Paul hires a p.i. who tracks down Kanarack and the location of his house. 
- Paul goes into Kanarack's house to find proof this is the right guy.
- Try reading this scene at full speed first.  Then re-read it, noticing that "SAME TIME" and "CUT TO" are subtle clues to changes of POV and tempo.
- Also notice that despite the multiple arcs, there is clarity because there is unity of action: Paul is trespassing in Kanarack's house. Kanarack is after Paul. Someone is shooting at them both. 

EXT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE

The Jaguar pulls up the driveway...Kanarack climbs out. Sees the broken window.

                                                                   CUT TO: 

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- CLOSET

Paul rummages in a FOOTLOCKER...Packets of MONEY in various CURRENCIES...Paul finds a plastic ENVELOPE...Opens it as he moves to the bedroom to read them in the daylight... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- KITCHEN

As Kanarack enters the kitchen, the cat SCURRIES OUTSIDE...Kanarack listens intently as he tiptoes inside...Slowly, quietly he opens a drawer...Finds a CHEF'S KNIFE...Knife at the ready, he tiptoes inside...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- BEDROOM

As Paul moves to access the daylight from the windows, he riffles through the DOCUMENTS in the plastic envelope...PASSPORTS with several different IDENTITIES, all with Kanarack's photo...Also DRIVER'S LICENSES...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- STAIRS

Brandishing the knife, Kanarack moves slowly up the stairs...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. BEDROOM

As Paul continues to go through the documents, something catches his eye. His brow furrows, puzzled... 

A DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT issued by the government of SYRIA, with Kanarack's photo and a phony identity...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME KANARACK'S HOUSE

POV -- THROUGH TELESCOPIC SIGHT

Following Paul through the lace curtains of the bedroom windows...A SNIPER, 20s, Palestinian, on a nearby rooftop...The CROSSHAIRS line up over Paul's HEAD...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- BEDROOM

Paul looks at the Syrian passport, thinks a beat...Glances out the window...He pulls the curtain back for a better look...

PAUL'S POV

As the CAT plays on the front lawn...

CLOSE ON -- PAUL

Wondering...How did the cat get on the front lawn... He realizes...That Kanarack is INSIDE THE HOUSE...Just as... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE 

...The SNIPER pulls on the trigger of his silenced .580 SNIPER'S RIFLE...PFFFFFT!...

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. BEDROOM

Paul TURNS inside just as the glass SHATTERS...A floral pillow EXPLODES in feathers as the headboard of the bed behind it SPLINTERS..

Terrified, Paul THROWS himself to the floor... 

                                                                   CUT TO:

INT. SAME TIME. KANARACK'S HOUSE -- STAIRS

Kanarack hears the noise of the impact, the thud of Paul's body as it falls...He FREEZES on the stairs... 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When I write, these transitions seem clunky, sticking out like sore thumbs. However, when I read, they establish a tempo, so they aren't as noticeable, more like background players.

Also: unity in an action scene helps keep multiple story arcs from being confusing. 

The Day After Tomorrow (unproduced)
by  Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais

* I visualize these transitions like bowling alley gutter bumpers that keep kids' bowling balls on track (photo example here).

TODAY'S NUGGET: It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988) - Don't Be Afraid of Longer Character Descriptions in a Comedy

[Quick Summary: After two complete opposites are paired up on the neighborhood watch, they have to pull together to deal with dead bodies and a drug cartel.]

I was attracted to this script because of its original title, "Househusbands."  Unfortunately, the story didn't stick with me for long afterwards.*

However, I did like how the writers characterized the characters so you'll remember them. They're descriptive and fun to read, and carry the point without forcing it.  

Most importantly, I felt something when I read them.  

For example:

1) This character seems to shout "Stay away!"

ex. "Duncan is an extremely cheap looking girl, about twenty. Her hair is ratted; clothes black leather. Lipstick the color of exposed lung-tissue. Eye makeup...not even Stephen King has the balls to write about. Lewd knuckle tattoos, mantlepiece breasts and hickeys all over her neck and chest.  Right now, she has the passenger visor down and is analyzing Dale's reflection on the clip-on mirror."

2) This character seems to have secrets beneath the surface. 

ex. "Otto almost smiles. His eighty rounds per second sense of humor working." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Fun is key in comedies, so don't be afraid to give character descriptions more space on the page if you need it.  

I have a bad habit of short changing the descriptions, favoring utility over a fully rounded character. I need to remember that some characters just need more space.

It Takes Two (a.k.a. Househusbands)(1988)(8/16/88 1st draft)
by Thomas Szollosi and Richard Christian Matheson

*I haven't seen the finished film, but it seems to be very different than this first draft.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Proof of Life (2000) - One Way to Express Jeopardy (Hope-Fear-Hope-Fear)

[Quick Summary: In South America, an American wife hires a negotiator to arrange for the release of her husband, an engineer who was kidnapped.]

Q: How do you make the audience feel for the protagonist in an action thriller?
A: Danger and personal stakes are well worn tropes.

Q: But I have a dangerous situation in my script and it doesn't work. Why?
A: Perhaps there isn't enough jeopardy, i.e., the possibility that the protagonist could lose.

Q: Could you give me a good example of this see-sawing feeling?
A: I think Tony Gilroy scripts do a great job of making the audience feel they're constantly on the back foot and never assured of success.

For example, today's script stacks the deck against us:
- It is set in a foreign location where language and culture are barriers.  
- A crime (kidnapping) has occurred to Alice's husband, a civil engineer.   
- Alice has no experience with terrorists.
- Her only hope is Terry is a hardened, experienced negotiator, who at one point, walks away from helping her.
- A more specific example is the scene below, which happens early in the script to start us realizing that  the margin of error is very thin in Terry's job.
- Here, Terry has just made the trade for the hostage, Lenoir.
- Notice how the hope-fear-hope-fear that doesn't let the reader off the hook easily.
- Also notice that how this scene establishes Terry's ability and credibility.

 

TERRY'S JEEP -- THE LOCAL DRIVER -- stuck in the mud -- panic making it worse - -just finding traction as TRACER ROUNDS tear into him and --

THE TWO CHECHEN TANKS searching for targets --

TERRY still coming -- waving a sidearm at THE CHOPPER PILOT -- "don't move!" -- dragging LENOIR in under the rotors -- [We are hoping Terry will succeed.]

A RUSSIAN JEEP EXPLODING behind them and --

INSIDE THE CHOPPER  -- total chaos -- LENOIR scrambling in -- THE PILOT SCREAMING IN SLAVIC -- he's freaking out -- pulling up already -- too soon because -- [Fear: Oh no! Don't go!]

TERRY hasn't cleared the threshold -- tossed back -- head slammed against the door as he falls -- rocked -- grabbing at the doorframe -- hanging there! -- nothing but instinct keeping him from falling and -- [Hope: He's hanging in there.]

THE GROUND pulling away and --

LENOIR reaching for TERRY -- trying -- but THE PILOT -- there's something wrong -- something new -- no time -- suddenly he's jerking the stick and --

THE CHOPPER spilling sharply to one side and --

TERRY falling -- falling into the cockpit and -- [Fear: Oh noooo!]

WHOOOOOSK! -- AN ANTI-TANK ROCKET -- a blur -- already on them -- already past -- they've been hit! -- creased -- A LANDING SKID torn away from the undercarriage! -- the helicopter tilting -- overreacting -- stalling -- for a moment it looks like they're beating it in and -- 

THE PILOT fighting to keep it up -- CURSING AND SPUTTERING IN SLOVAK -- LENOIR rolling on the floor in pain -- his bandaged hand crushed in the turbulence and --  [Lots more fear.  This will not end well.]

FINALLY TO

TERRY pulling himself into a window seat. He's dazed. Looking down as the earth begins to pull away. As the chopper starts to level off.   [Whew! Hope.  Leveling off is good.]

TERRY wiping at the blood from a deep cut above his eye. Wiping it away so he can see. Trying to get a grip. To focus. Something. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For that gut wrenching feeling, discomfort and the possibility of not succeeding must reign.

Proof of Life (2000)(7/6/99 draft)
by Tony Gilroy 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Spartacus (1960) - "What is Going on in Each Scene? What's the Most Interesting Way to Play It?"

[Quick Summary: In ancient Rome, Spartacus leads of revolt of gladiatorial slaves in a fight for freedom.]

THREE INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT THIS FILM: 

1) After Paths of Glory (1957), star Kirk Douglas teamed up again with director Stanley Kubrick on Spartacus (1960), one of the most expensive films of its time. 

2) Writer Dalton Trumbo did not like how the POV was rewritten because it shrunk his larger scale to a smaller scale (his"Two Conflicting POV" report here). 

3) Director Stanley Kubrick observed:

The making of any film, whatever the historical setting or the size of the sets, has to be approached in much the same way. You have to figure out what is going on in each scene and whats the most interesting way to play it. With Spartacus, whether a scene had hundreds of people in the background or whether it was against a wall, I thought of everything first as if there was nothing back there. Once it was rehearsed, we worked out the background.  (my bolding)

A good example of this is the death of a gladitorial slave, in the scene below:
- Marcus Crassus is a general and politician who is hungry for power.
- Crassus is with his friend Glabrus, who is getting married to Claudia.  
- They have come to the gladitorial school to purchase a private gladitorial fight, in honor of the upcoming wedding. 
- Batiatus is the owner of the gladiator school.
- Slaves were often paired off to fight each other, sometimes to the death.  
- Here, Spartacus and Draba are paired up. 
- Draba has a trident and net. He subdues Spartacus, then spares him.  
- Draba heads for the those that purchased him, as vengeance. 
- What is going on in this scene? It explains what is at stake for slaves if they do not resist and revolt. It also shows how unyielding Crassus is.
- What is the most interesting way to play it? Draba's death is very dramatic and involves the bad guy, Crassus.  In the background, the guards' actions emphasize the main action.

FULL SHOT - FIELD AND GALLERY

Draba has reached the fence. There a guard tries to intercept him. Draba skewers him and flings his body away as if scattering trash. He climbs the fence, lunges upward into the gallery and toward the box. Other guards are not closing in from all directions. As Draba leaps toward the box, the first guard gets within throwing distance. He hurls his heavy pilum at Draba. The eighteen inches of steel imbeds itself in the gladiator's ebony body, but still he plunges upward, his trident in position to throw, his eyes on his deadly enemies in the box. A second pilum finds its mark, but already Draba has groped his way almost to the box, the spears dragging from the body.

FLASH SHOT - ARENA - SPARTACUS

stupefied, staring, just extricating himself from the net.  

FLASH SHOT - THE BOX

Batiatus hides behind it. Glabrus leaps in alarm to his feet. Crassus moves not a muscle. Chill as steel, utterly fascinated by the possibilities, he watches the approach of Draba. Claudia, trying to get out o the box, stumbles, falls and SCREAMS.

ANOTHER ANGLE - INCLUDING BOX AND DRABA

Guards rushing UP on him in b.g. Draba, the two spears still sticking in his back, makes a final lunge. His hands grasp the edge of the box. His eyes glare up at the occupants, fierce and horrible and lost. Crassus, in the meanwhile, has slowly risen. Calmly, he slips a tiny bejeweled dagger from his belt. And then, as Draba's great arms reach out to seize him, he bends forward between those terrible arms (exactly as a bullfighter risks life by bending forward between the horns for the death thrust) and deftly inserts the knife into Draba's spinal cord just above the shoulder-line. Even before the knife is withdrawn, Draba is dead. The effect is instantaneous (again as in a bullfight when a member of the corrida severs the spinal counterpart of a wounded and dying bull.) The great African, like his counterpart the bull, curls convulsively into the birth position his head forward between his arms, his knees drawn upward -- but he was dead before the reflex action of death was made visible.  

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I realized that I often skip the importance of nailing "What's going on in each scene?" because I'm more worried about "What's the most interesting way to play it?"

Spartacus (1960)(1/16/59 final draft, revised)
by Dalton Trumbo
Based on the novel by Howard Fast
 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mindhunters (2004) - How to Make an Information Dump More Interesting to Watch (Clarity of Purpose)

[Quick Summary: After a group of FBI trainees are dropped off on a deserted island for a weekend training exercise, one of them starts killing them off, one by one.]

I thought this script did a great job of bringing the audience into the psychological game that's being played.  How did the writers do it?

They had to find a way to quickly get into the minds of the trainees, explain how they think (essentially an information dump), yet maintain a brisk pacing. 

The writers knew that the most traditional and efficient way to do this is through interviews of the trainees.  Their new addition here was using new technology.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Harris, the FBI trainer, has brought the trainees to an isolated island for training.
- Someone has a beef with all of them. Weird things start to happen.
- Sara, one of the trainees, goes looking for information and finds a laptop with her fellow trainees' initial interviews.  
- Notice that this is an information dump, but a necessary and efficient one. 
- The interview is a tried-and-true technique, but the writers used a more modern tool here to do so (the laptop). 
- Also, Sara is seeking clues, so the interviews feel more like answers to her questions vs. telling the audience information. 

INT. THE DORM ROOMS -- MOMENTS LATER

...Sara's eyes SWING to the LAPTOP on J.D's bed.

THE SCREEN

is filled with STAR-BURSTS - a SCREEN-SAVER program.

She presses the command button. The computer comes to life.

ON THE SCREEN -- J.D. APPEARS ON VIDEO TAPE

In the middle of an INTERVIEW.

J.D. (on tape): ...If there's one thing I've learned working for the Bureau, there's always a cause and effect. Even in the sickest criminal mind.

HARRIS (V.O.)(on tape): But do you want to crawl into that kind of mind?

ANGLE THE GROUP

as they stare at the laptop - dumbfounded.

J.D. (on tape): Do I want to? No. But will I? Yes.

ANGLE THE LAPTOP -- AS THE SCREEN

turns to SNOW

and ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

BOBBY (on tape): I'd be walking, just minding my own business, and a squad car would pull over. I used to carry a photo ID just to prove I lived in the neighborhood.

HARRIS (V.O.): Why Behavioral Science?

BOBBY (on tape): You're the best...

TIGHT ON BOBBY

BOBBY: That's my psych-eval interview...

ANGLE THE LAPTOP --

SNOW again...

ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

NICOLE (on tape): I was 11 years-old. I came home from school and mom was unconscious . The police took him away. It's the first time I remember feeling safe. We never heard from dad again...

ANOTHER ANGLE - LUCAS

LUCAS (on tape): I left medical school to join the Bureau because I thought I could be more effective on the front lines. (beat) What can I say? I'm an adrenaline junkie.

ANGLE - RAMON 

RAMON (on tape): Once I got a taste of homicide, there was no turning back. There's not a helluva lot more satisfying than seeing a killer brought to justice.

ANGLE - VINCE

VINCE (on tape): I was that kid. The one who knew everything there is to know about serial killers. I've always wanted to be a mindhunter. The accident hasn't changed that.

ANGLE - SARA

SARA (on tape): Her killer sent me letters from different mailing services for a year after we found the body. Told me everything he did to her. (beat) Every single thing.

TIGHT ON SARA

flushing crimson...

AND THE SCREEN FREEZES. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't particularly notice the information dump about other characters here because the scene had real clarity of purpose.  

That is, Sara was seeking answers, so watching her register new information was more interesting to watch than if I was told it.

Also, the laptop was cool updated tech to use in a film, but it didn't replace knowing the fundamentals of drama (re: how to convey information through interviews).

Mindhunters (2004)(12/17/00 revised draft)
by Wayne Kramer, revisions by Kevin Brodbin, Kario Salem

TODAY'S NUGGET: Deep Cover (1992) - When Is It Ok to Tell, Not Show, What's Inside Her Head?

[Quick Summary: When a good cop goes undercover to try to ferret out a drug importer, will he succumb to the excesses and violence?]

Q: Screenwriting rules should never, ever, ever be broken, right?
A: I felt that way too...until I saw every one of them broken.* Stick with the "rules" until you know when, how, and most importantly WHY, to break them.

Q: *Gasp!* But WHEN? HOW? Don't tell me "I'll only know with experience."
A: I only figured it out by experience (reading and writing, reading and writing).**

Q: Can you give me an example of when to break "show, not tell"?
A: Today's action thriller script is a good example when telling what's inside a character's head works best.  

Critic Roger Ebert explains the protagonist's dilemma: 

What sets "Deep Cover" apart is its sense of good and evil, the way it has the Fishburne character agonize over the moral decisions he has to make. Most drug movies are so casual about their shootings and killings that you'd hardly think it even hurt to get shot. ...Among the many unexpected aspects of this movie is the way its characters constantly ask themselves what the right course is - and if they can afford to take it.

This is apparent in the scene below:
- The protagonist, Hull, is a good cop with strong morals.
- He swore he'd never do drugs, like his dad who died robbing a liquor store.
- However, he's put into deep undercover to ferret out a drug dealer.
- He has witnessed a lot of horrible things, but hasn't crossed the line yet.
- He hooks up with a minor drug dealer, Elias, who doesn't know Hull is a cop.
- Elias gives Hull credibility and introduces him to buyers and sellers.
- Betty owns a jewelry store that is a laundering front.
- This is the first time Betty meets Hull.
- The Note explains concisely what is going on inside of Betty.  Yes, this is "telling" rather than showing, but there's a very quick, complicated, non-verbal dynamic going on.  I wouldn't be surprised if the writer resorted to this description as the most efficient explanation. 
- Even though this is "telling," note how concise the description is.

INT. JEWELRY STORE - DAY

... She produces a vial of coke, looks questioningly at Elias.

ELIAS: By all means.

She draws out six lines. Elias does two.

BETTY (offering him the straw): Come on, Eddie 2, you're up.

HULL: No, thanks.

(NOTE: Betty is acutely attuned to Hull, and in his refusal she senses - albeit unconsciously -- two things: first, that he doesn't trust himself on drugs, therefore, he's a dangerous guy and, therefore, exciting; and, second, more important, the refusal bespeaks a repudiation of the violence and danger and, thus, a longing for goodness. Despite the seeming contradiction, she finds this even more attractive. But because she feels herself to be bad, his goodness seems only a judgment against her, and so she thinks she hates him.)

BETTY: Who is he, my mother?

HULL (smiles): Never have, never will.

Betty ignores him, does her lines.

BETTY (taunting Hull): Oooh...Cocaine, I love it and I hate it and I love it. The disease is the cure.  

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If there's no other way but to "tell" rather than show, then do it. Don't let the "rules" hamper your expression.

Deep Cover (1992)(7/16/91 draft)
by Michael Tolkin and Henry Bean 

*As a new writer, I was too quick to point out screenwriting "violations of the rules." The reality is that:
- There are no rules.
- Sometimes ignoring the rules accomplishes what following the rules could not.
- A preoccupation with "rules" avoids dealing with the fact that the writing may lack maturity and craft.   
- The most important measure is "does it work?", not "does it follow the rules?" 

**Other hints on breaking screenwriting "rules": 
- The purpose of the "rules" are to give new writers general guidelines to hold on to. (ex. Cinema is visual medium, so it's important to externalize emotions, hence, "show not tell.")
- As I grew as a writer, I realized I was hanging on to the "rules" too much, and they restricted my freedom to imagine and take big swings.
- If I broke a "rule," I found it helpful to explain to myself WHY, and then make sure I wrote it down in my notes. I didn't need to explain it to the reader, but I did need to make sure I knew why, even if it was "I don't know how else to say this."
- The goal is a page turner for the reader.  The "rules" don't guarantee this.
- When a writer breaks the "rules," I've noticed that it tends to be in certain areas, like the example above, and not the whole script.  
- Any "rule-breaking" does not excuse sloppy writing.  Yes, the example above is breaking the "show, don't tell rule," but more importantly, it is also concise and written well to express a difficult emotional dynamic.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Twins (1988) - The Purpose of the Energy Flow is to Show Character

[Quick Summary: A tall, "perfect" man goes in search of his twin, who turns out to be a short, small time crook.]

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that this draft was very well polished. 

First, it was rewritten by last week's Harris & Weingrod, and second, the great William Goldman gave it a pass too.

I really liked that:
- the purpose of the energy flow in this script is to show character, and 
- there's a control to the chaos.

For example, in the scene below: 
- This is the scene that introduces the idea these are twins by using "twinning" behaviors.
- Julius is the taller, "good" twin.
- Vince is the shorter, "bad" twin.
- Notice the largest paragraph below is all one sentence, a controlled roller coaster of a ride, much like sheltered Julius' experience of encountering a big city.
 - Then note how the energy flow and momentum ramps up and lands on the moment Julius stands in the middle of the street, absorbing all of Hollywood.
- The writers are deliberately controlling the chaos with pacing and flow. 

EXT. GRAUMAN'S CHINESE THEATER - MAGIC HOUR

Vince brushes himself off, hesitates a moment, pulling on his left ear with his right hand.

Immediately behind him, facing the opposite direction, is another man, also pulling on his left ear with his right hand. It is Julius --

-- Their backs are to each other. Without ever catching sight of one another, they move off, going their separate ways. Now, from this -- 

                                                    CUT TO: 

EXT. DOWNTOWN HOLLYWOOD STREET - NIGHT

Downtown Hollywood in all it's sleeze. There's a museum and a scientology center and every fast food place imaginable and people shouting as they sell things, "flowers" and street food and there's a porno house showing Tight 'n Tender and there's young people dressed like punks and old people boozed out and pimps and druggies and guys slumped unconscious int he gutter and crowds of tourists walking this way, that way, and there's noise and little and one more thing --

--There's Julius, case in hand, staring around, taking it all in. We're a long way from his island now. He studies all the humanity swirling around him --

                                                   CUT TO:

CLOSEUP ON JULIUS

And you can see it on his face: He loves it.

JULIUS (almost a whisper): ...How wonderful...  

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this script because it used cinematic language well.  It uses words to convey how we should feel about images, but was readable.  

I like to find Goldman scripts that are new-to-me, like this one. They are instructive since they are: a) easy to read and b) have great craftsmanship.

Twins (1988)(consolidated 4th draft, 4/27/88 with revisions)
by William Osborne & William Davies
Revisions by Timothy Harris & Hershel Weingrod and William Goldman

TODAY'S NUGGET: Married to the Mob (1988) - How to Not Lose the Reader, Despite Various POV

[Quick Summary: After her mobster husband is murdered by his boss, Angela is determined to make a new life with her son, but the mob won't leave her alone.]

Q: What sets this script apart for you?  
A: It captures different points of view, but never loses focus on the protagonist.

Q: How does it do it?  Especially maintaining such clarity? 
A: I think it's the unity of the subject matter.  There's a variety of points of view, but they're all about the same subject, i.e., Angela.

For example, in the scene below:
- Angela is a sweet woman, who was oblivious to the shenanigans of Sal, her dead mobster husband.  Everyone makes assumptions about her. 
- Tony, Sal's best friend, is the head mobster. 
- Tony is married to Connie and is afraid of her.
- Tony killed Sal because Sal was sleeping with Tony's side girlfriend.
- Tony wants to sleep with Angela, and keeps tabs on her, even after she's moved away.
- Tony and his underling Tommy show up at Angela's new apartment.
- Note the multiple points of view (Connie, Ed, Mike, Tommy, Tony). Each segment adds important information, AND they're united by the subject matter, Angela.
- Also note how: a)  the unity of subject matter, plus b) CAPITALIZED location slugs helps the reader easily switch points of view. This is great clarity of writing.

EXT. RIVINGTON STREET - AT THAT MOMENT

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Angela, Tony and Tommy come out of the building and pause on the steps. 

TOMMY: Look, Ange, Rose wants to have you out for dinner next week. How's Thursday?

ANGELA: I really don't think...

TOMMY: Or Friday?

ANGELA: Umm...

TOMMY: Or any night that's good for you.

ANGELA: I tell you, Tommy...I'm so busy with the move, getting set up and everything. I don't even know if we're gonna stay here. Why don't I give you a call when I get settled?

TOMMY (disappointed): Sure, I understand. But don't forget, okay? Promise?

ANGELA (squirming): Sure, Tommy.

TOMMY: Take care, Angie. If you need anything...

ANGELA: Thanks, Tommy. So long.

He gives her a big hug and heads for the car.

DOWN THE BLOCK

peering over the steering wheel of the white Cadillac is Tony's worst nightmare -- Connie. She watches with keen interest.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

TONY: It was great seeing you, Angela.

Tony takes Angela's hand. She stiffens. He plants a gentle kiss on her hand while looking into her eyes.

IN THE WHITE CADILLAC

Connie watches as Tony kisses Angela's hand. Connie's worst suspicions are confirmed. She's absolutely livid.

FROM A BASEMENT STAIRWELL

Ed video-tapes Tony and Angela. Connie's white Cadillac zooms past.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Tony gives Angela a meaningful look.

TONY (in Italian): Ci vediamo, cara.

Tony gets into the car and Tommy drives off. Angela is emotionally exhausted.

ANGELA (moans): Oh, God.

AT THE FIFTH FLOOR WINDOW

Mike has seen Tony's farewell. Mike shakes his head ruefully as he watches Angela walk down the street. He moves away from the window.

AT THE CORNER

Angela stops in front of the "Hello, Gorgeous!" beauty salon. IN the window there's a mirror with an inscription reading: ARE YOU READY FOR A BRAND NEW YOU? Angela looks at her reflection in the mirror. She can see that the events of the day have caught up to her. She tugs at her Chez Ray hairdo, obviously displeased. Then Angela notices a sign in the window that reads: "Help Wanted." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: To keep things clearer for the reader, create sign posts in the structure for the audience, ex. unity of subject matter + capitalized locations.

Married to the Mob (1988)(7/14/87 draft)
by Barry Strugatz & Mark R. Burns

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Cotton Club (1984) - Breaking Through Writer's Block with 4-5 Word Summaries

[Quick Summary: Several stories of a coronet player getting mixed with mobster, racial tensions, in the Roaring Twenties and early Depression.]

There were three things I really liked in this script:

1) THIS LINE OF DIALOGUE:  

DUTCH: ...You make a livin' with that horn?

DIXIE: I'm eatin' but I'm not getting fat.

2) THE FACT THAT THIS SCRIPT JUMPS AROUND A LOT BUT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT. Critic Roger Ebert explains what is in the mix:

Coppola has a way, in this film, of telling all the different stories without giving us the impression he's jumping around a lot. Maybe the music helps. It gives the movie a continuity and an underlying rhythm that makes all of the characters' lives into steps in a sad ballet. We like some of the characters, but we don't have much respect for them, and the movie doesn't bother with clear distinctions between good and evil. "The Cotton Club" is a somewhat cynical movie about a very cynical time, and along with the music and the romance there is racism, cruelty, betrayal, and stunning violence. Romance with a cutting edge.

3) MOST SLUG LINES INCLUDED 4-5 WORD SUMMARY OF "WHAT IS THIS SCENE ABOUT?" It's not a gimmick; it broke through my writer's block.

I was stuck recently and tried this trick to summarize the scene before I wrote it.  Behold!  It cut down on distractions and focused me immediately.

I will note that it was seeing all the various examples that helped.  So I encourage you to read it and page through it for inspiration when you're stuck.

Here are five examples (they're underlined as presented in the script):
- EXT. DWYER APARTMENT - DAY: VINCE SAYS HE'S MARRIED
- EXT. COTTON CLUB - DAY: EXIT AUDITION/SEE LILA ROSE
- INT. HOOFER'S CLUB - DAY: SUGAR REMINDS SANDMAN HE'S LATE
- INT. UBANGI CLUB - NIGHT: BAD JAM SESSION
- INT. DWYER APARTMENT - NIGHT: TEA & TOAST WITH PSYCHOPATH

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've been returning to this script again and again, just to look at the 4-5 word summaries for different ways to tackle scenes.

The Cotton Club (1984)(8/22/83 shooting script)
by William Kennedy and Francis Ford Coppol/a

2025 OSCARS: Nickel Boys (2024) - The Line That's Very Complicated to Execute

[Quick Summary: In 1966 Florida, two young boys navigate life in a reform school.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

One of the hallmarks of this film is that it's told in one point of view at a time.

Because it's always from one person's POV, cinematographer Jomo Fray has said that the following line looks simple on the page, but not in execution.*

In this scene:
- This is from Elwood's POV.
- Elwood sits next to his grandma Hattie on a bus.
- The camera starts from Elwood's eye level, then underneath his bus seat.
- How did they make room for the camera to flip upside down? How did they light the scene for the complicated camera move (above the seat --> below the seat)?!
- I am impressed they left in such a complicated camera move in the script, especially because the budget was low.

INT. CITY BUS - FRENCHTOWN - 1966 - DAY (D15)

 ...As Hattie's hand turns a page, Elwood sees a LITTLE GIRL slide herself feet first from under their seat forward into the space between his own shoes, all the way until her face is visible.

... Elwood bends all the way forward and looks under his seat watching the kid slide backwards under other seats, legs and shoes of passengers toward the back of the bus.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite a shoestring budget, these writers were bold enough to aim high.  Don't let your budget dictate to your creativity.

Nickel Boys (2024)
by RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes
Based on the novel by Colson Whitehead

*Sorry, I really tried to keep this post to a single line (the last one starting with "Elwood bends"), but it was hard to explain without context.

2025 OSCARS: A Complete Unknown (2024) - The Line That Describes What the Tension in the Atmosphere Feels Like

[Quick Summary: In 1961, Bob Dylan comes to NYC, where he meets his heroes and significant women in his life.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

CON OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: There's a bias toward certain stories.

PRO OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: Learning what the industry says is the most innovative writing in the last year.

Though today's script wasn't particularly innovative in the biopic genre, I thought it captured atmosphere succinctly, which is often very difficult to do.

I could not decide between my favorite two lines, so I include them both here:

EXAMPLE 1:
- Joan and Bob have just spent the first night together.
- She asks Bob to sing one of his new songs.  She joins in.*
- The line below tries to explain what the tension in the air feels like:

INT. BOB'S APARTMENT -- DAWN

...No one is brave today... 

EXAMPLE 2: 
- Bob has put other things above Sylvie too many times.
- One day, he shows up on a motorcycle and shouts up to her apartment.
- The line below unfolds her inner life that creates an unspoken frisson around her:

EXT. SYLVIE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

...She crosses to Bob and climbs on the bike knowing full well this is stupid. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's good to know the writer's rule ("only write what the audience can see") and when to break it (ex. sometimes a writer can only describe atmosphere by describing what a character's internal state is).

A Complete Unknown (2024) 
by James Mangold and Jay Cocks

* As a side note, I loved the description of their singing: "The rusty knife of Bob's voice blunts the beauty of Joan's."

2025 OSCARS: Conclave (2024) - One Line That is Underlined May Have a Different Meaning Than Another

[Quick Summary: After the Pope dies, the Dean of the Conclave must manage the voting process for the new Pop and discovers hidden motives of the candidates.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

We writers are told a lot of "don'ts":  "Don't put in camera moves (directors don't like that)." "Show, don't talk about feelings (actors don't like that)."  

These days, I take them "under advisement", i.e., ignore them, because I've seen writers do those very things -  BUT THEY KNEW WHAT 'RULES' TO BREAK.

---------------

Q: In the above paragraphs, why do I only remember the underlined part?
A: Underlining emphasizes things.

Q: Have you seen any effective uses of underlining?
A: I will cite two lines from this script, in same scene, only because they show how underlining does different things:
- The first emphasizes what is in Lawrence's mind and emotions.
- The second is later in the scene, and emphasizes a shift in tone.

INT. PAPAL SUITE - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT

...Lawrence is holding the x-ray to the light, staring in silence, struck that he is looking at the very heart of the man he revered.

....The contest has begun.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Like any good tool, the emotional impact that comes with underlining is best used sparingly.

Conclave (2024)(final draft, w/revisions)
by Peter Straughan
Based on the novel by Robert Harris

2025 OSCARS: A Real Pain (2024) - The Line That Shows Great Subtext

[Quick Summary: To honor their grandmother, two opposite cousins go on a Holocaust tour of Poland.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

Actor/writer/director Jesse Eisenberg began this story as a play with one character, another play with the other character, then a short story with the two characters.

His playwriting bent is evident in the emphasis on dialogue and few actions.  

However, there was one action line that was very cinematic and deeply subtextual:
- In previous scenes, we learn that David is the responsible cousin. Benji is the irresponsible one. James is the tour guide.
- Benji accuses James of spitting out facts and figures, not real stories that connect.
- James thanks Benji, as Benji and David are about to leave for the last leg, on their own, to go see their grandmother's house.
- This line shows James finally connecting with Benji.  It's also a really great image of what David and Benji are also trying to do.

INT. LUBLIN HOTEL - DAY

...With James' mop of hair buried in Benji's arms, it almost looks like Benji is hugging David.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that this one image contained so much more subtext than what we see.  

However, it only makes sense in the film because it relies on previous context.  As a still image, a random viewer might not understand the dynamics.

A Real Pain (2024)(final draft)
by Jesse Eisenberg

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Driver (1978) - Three Helpful Tips on Attempting Walter Hill's Minimalistic Style

[Quick Summary: A very successful getaway driver, who is set up by a detective, decides to turn the tables on him.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) STYLE IS NOT ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL. Over the years, I've been impressed by Walter Hill's terse, every-line-a-shot style.  But why couldn't I imitate it well?

Hill illuminates here that it's not a style that fits all materials:

"The Driver, which I think was the purest script that I ever wrote, and The Warriors. The clean narrative drive of the material and the splash-panel approach to the characters perfectly fit the design I was trying to make work. Of course all this depend on the nature of the material; I don’t think the style would’ve worked at all had I been writing romantic comedies.” (emphasis mine)

2) WHAT IS HILL'S MINIMALISTIC STYLE? The best description I've found is when Hill descries the feeling he got from reading the script Point Blank (1967):

"Alex’s script just knocked me out (not easy to do); it was both playable and literary. Written in a whole different way than standard format (laconic, elliptical, suggestive rather than explicit, bold in the implied editorial style), I thought Alex’s script was a perfect compliment to the material, hard, tough, and smart—my absolute ideals then." (emphasis mine)

3) WHAT DO I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MINIMALISTIC STYLE?
- It is well suited to action films.*
- Everything is purposeful, even the punctuation.**
- Because this style is so terse, words are precious. 
- Since there are so few words, information is only given on a need-to-know basis.
- Since information is on a need-to-know basis, the story relies heavily on the reader to supply additional information.
- Since the reader has to supply certain information, the writer must respect what are common understandings. 
- In other words, any kind of wild non sequiturs that require long explanations are forbidden, otherwise the reader will revolt and stop reading.

For example, in the scene below:
- PURPOSEFUL WORD CHOICE: "Wrecking yard" instead of "junk yard" sets up our expectations (see 4th point below).
- PURPOSEFUL PUNCTUATION: "Pulls up, stops" are two actions in a whole shot.
- NEED-TO-KNOW: I didn't know the Driver had a coat on until he takes the hammer out. This didn't disturb our understanding, as it is a minor detail.
- SUPPLY ADDITIONAL INFO: Note that Hill doesn't tell you there's an overhead crane ahead of time. But it's not bothersome to the reader because we EXPECT a crane in a wrecking yard.
 

WRECKING YARD - NIGHT

A Camaro parked along the otherwise deserted roadway.
Lights of the city beyond.
The LTD pulls up, stops.
Blue Mask and Green Mask climb out.
Head for the Camaro.

THE DRIVER

Gets out of the car.
Takes a ball-peen hammer out of his coat pocket.
Walks around the LTD, breaking out the windows and headlamps.
Throws the tool inside.
Attaches hooks from an overhead crane to the LTD's roof.
Hits the button.

THE LTD

Lifted off the hillside.
Carried out over yard.
The Driver hits a second button.
The LTD crashes a hundred feet below.
Becoming one of the myriad abandoned vehicles.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This style relies heavily on action and information within a common understanding (ex. crane in a wrecking yard).  

It wold not work as well for material that relies on complicated emotions, ex. push-pull of a relationship.  

The Driver (5/23/77 final)
by Walter Hill

*Hill said movies favor the action genre: “I love comedies, musicals, and thrillers like everybody else, but I confess to believing action pictures are what movies are most essentially all about. It’s the work they do best and uniquely best. I don’t mean action movies are better; in fact, most of them are actually a lot worse than the norm. But the few that really work are sublime."'

** “My scripts have always been a bit terse, both in stage directions and dialogue. I think I’ve loosened up in the dialogue department, but I still try to keep the descriptions fairly minimal, and in some cases purposefully minimalist. I still punctuate to effect, rather than to the proper rules of grammar. I occasionally use onomatopoeias now, a luxury I would certainly never have allowed myself when I was younger. My favorite description of the dilemma of screenwriting comes from David Giler, ‘Your work is only read by the people who will destroy it.’” (emphasis mine)

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Good Earth (1937) - Cultural Details Give Context (& Maintain Relevancy)

[Quick Summary: After farmer Wang Lung marries O-Lan, a neighbor's servant, they face both famine and fortune during the birth of the Republic of China.] 

Q: What makes this 87 year old story* still relevant?
A: The cultural details.

Q: Big deal! Why can't you just look them up in an encyclopedia?
A: It's not just identifying them, but also explaining/interpreting/suggesting the thinking behind them and shed new light on the deeper meaning.

Q: Can you give an example from this script?
A: I've often heard Asian kids joke/not joke that one common trait of their Asian parents is that they're "not big on compliments." 

However, I'd never asked where do these cultural behaviors come from?

This script offered a possible answer: that a long-standing superstition had become ingrained into unconscious behaviors that we see today.

In the scene below:
-  This scene gave me a possible rationale for parents "checking" pride in their kids. 
- The rationale is that if a child boasts, he is likely to get "too big for his britches."  The parent seeks to appease the gods before they struck the kid. 
- Wang Lung and his family are celebrating Chinese New Year by bringing gifts to the gods at a shrine.
- They see hundreds of Northern travelers fleeing famine to the South.
- O-Lan's mother had previously sold her daughter to the neighbor for silver for food.
- Ching is Wang Lung's cousin.
- Notice what the Father is doing to protect his son.

 As they still stare with solemn faces, we see the ROAD BETWEEN THE HILLS where the procession winds wearily on, following which we again see the GROUP, with the FAMILY in the foreground:

O-LAN (in a low voice, to Wang): It was famine that made me a slave.

WANG: Oh, that's what happens when a man has only one field. (As he looks about him with pride) But I have five. (With unconscious, naive egotism) We must thank the gods for giving me such foresight.

But the villagers are obviously terrified.

VILLAGERS (muttering anxiously): We've had no rain-- The birds have gone --

WANG (cheerily): It'll rain, it'll rain! We've nothing to be afraid of. We're safe here -- there'll be harvest for all --

FATHER (terrified): What talk is this? (He looks up into the sky and shouts) Forgive my son! He's young and stupid and talks too much!

CHING: No, no - a man who can turn one field into five may speak for the gods!

VILLAGERS (relieved): Very true -- Wang knows -- We're safe here --

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script stands out because it did not just get the cultural behaviors right, but went deeper to give them context.

The Good Earth (1937)
by Talbot Jennings &Tess Slesinger, and Claudine West
Based on the novel by Pearl S. Buck

*FYI: The underlying novel is by author, Pearl S. Buck, whose parents were missionaries in China. Mrs. Buck's novels been widely praise, leading to her winning the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1938 for “for her rich and truly epic descriptions of peasant life in China and for her biographical masterpieces”,

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Money Train (1995) - Active Decisions is One Way to Carry One's Point Without Forcing It

[Quick Summary: A NYC transit cop tries to steal the express "money train," despite the protestations of his foster brother and fellow transit cop.]

A recent New York Times Book Review gave a high compliment: "a sensitive writer who can carry his point without forcing." 

This could easily be applied to writer David Loughery, whose description of action always delights  me because they're a continual see-saw of suspense.  

One of his secrets is that neither the protagonist or the bad guy has the upper hand for long. Both must make active decisions.

For example, in the scene below:
- The Torch just set John's girlfriend, a fellow cop, on fire.
- John, the protagonist, has to constantly make decisions (A or B?)
- This keeps us constantly off balance and engaged.
- To me, this effectively "carries the point" that John is the underdog (vs. "forcing" with frequent reminders 'but don't worry - John is experienced! John is the cop!')

INT. TUNNEL #2 - DAY

John runs through the darkness, gun ready. He can hear The Torch somewhere up ahead, footsteps echoing back. The tunnel comes to a division, breaking off into two tunnels.  [Which tunnel, John?]

John stops.

Which way did The Torch go? John listens. No footsteps. No noise. John's nostrils flare. He can smell gas. It leads into the left tunnel.  Cautiously, John enters, swallowed up in the darkness.

Then --wham! -- John is struck from behind with a rotting plank in the hands of The Torch. John loses his gun and falls to his knees. The gun skitters into the darkness.  [John makes the right decision, but has another problem and has lost a weapon. What is the next decision?]

With a giggle, The Torch drops the rotted plank and runs to retrieve John's fallen gun, unaware that his hose is leaking a trail of gas behind him. [The Torch, who is not immune from problems either, helps inform John's next decision..]

Stunned, still on his knees, Johns sees the trail of gas droplets and follows it with his eyes to where the The Torch is standing, grinning like a crazy raccoon, pointing John's own gun at him.  [I like this mix of uncertainty and danger. It is a good way to sustain suspense.]

THE TORCH: See what happens when you play with fire?

With his free hand, The Torch reaches inside his coat and pulls out his gasoline bottle, intending to spray it on John. He doesn't notice that John has reached into his own coat pocket and comes out with a book of matches. [The scales tip toward John, for now.]

JOHN: Somebody gets burned. 

John ignites the whole book of matches and throws it on the trail of gas droplets. Foom! A line of flame runs to The Torch and right up his leg, setting him on fire.

Whoosh! The Torch lets out a scream of surprise as his gas-soaked coat blazes up. He squeals and spins around as flames erupt all over him.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Don't allow your characters to have it easy for long.  Don't ever stop creating situations where they have to make active decisions.

The Money Train (1995)(shooting script, 12/30/94 w/revisions)
by David Loughery

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Grass Harp (1995) - Avoiding The Trite & Cliche in Sisterly Forgiveness

[Quick Summary: Orphaned Collin has a grand adventure living in a tree house with his ephemeral Aunt Dolly, after a serious argument with rich Aunt Verena.]

This is the last film of writer Stirling Siliphant, who had a long string of film and tv credits, including In the Heat of the Night and The Poseidon Adventure.  

I sensed his practiced hand particularly in the characters. I really appreciated they are full fleshed out and distinct. No one acts or speaks the same. 

ex. Aunt Verena doesn't trust easily and relies on facts and cash to relate to people. Aunt Dolly is the opposite: open, fun, and trusting.

So when Verena wants to mass produce Dolly's medicinal recipe, it's the last straw. I believed Dolly would take her maid and nephew to live in a tree house.

I thought the reconciliation scene below was particularly fine because it's so emotionally true.

NOTE:
- Judge Charlie proposed to Dolly during their adventures.
- My heart bled for Charlie, who probably didn't understand sisterly bond, but accepted it.
- I think it avoids the trite and cliche because it does not duck hard truths. Verena would have never admitted these things at the beginning (aging, loneliness, etc.)

EXT. PORCH -- NIGHT

Rain floods down. Dolly shivers under the eaves. Verena approaches behind her. The judge watches from the threshold.

...VERENA (beat): I walk through the house, nothing is mine. Your pink room, your kitchen, the house is yours - and Catherine's too, I think. Only don't leave me. Let me live with you. I'm feeling old. I want my sister.

Her voice cracks. Dolly stretches out a tentative hand.

DOLLY: Forgive me, Charlie. I want my sister, too.

The judge cannot reach her: not with his arms, not with his heart. [This line really moved me. It captures the longing, disappointment, and reality.] Verena's claim is too final. The sisters embrace in reconciliation. Dolly strokes Verena's hair. The judge looks on sadly, silently from the doorway. The storm rages on....

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene made me feel the longing and loss that I'd rather not feel, yet I felt good because it's an "I see you" moment.

Also, I liked there was no "message," no false importance to the moment.  

The Grass Harp (1995)(9/6/94, revised)
by Stirling Silliphant and Kirk Ellis
Based on the novel by Truman Capote

2024 OSCARS: Oppenheimer (2023) - Simple Symbol of Shouldering Responsibility

[Quick Summary: After Dr. Oppenheimer develops the atomic bomb at Los Alamos, NM, he suffers a politically motivated investigation.]

I liked, but didn't love, this script.  On the plus side, it did show me something I'd not seen before, i.e, being written in Oppenheimer's first person POV.   

On the negative side, it is mostly dialogue, so there are fewer visuals on the page. 

My favorite one (below) is a wonderful economy of writing. 
- Oppenheimer has come to consult Einstein on whether to go forward with atomic energy research that could destroy the world.  He shows him his research (papers).
- You can almost see the action IN the dialogue (but not "telling").
- I love how Einstein handing back that piece of paper has a deeper meaning in the very last line.  It symbolizes responsibility.

EXT. LAKE, INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED STUDY - MOMENTS LATER

EINSTEIN: And here we are, lost in your quantum world of probabilities, but needing certainty.

OPPENHEIMER: Can you run the calculations yourself?

EINSTEIN: About the only thing you and I share is a distain for mathematics. Who's working on it at Berkeley?

OPPENHEIMER: Hans Bethe.

EINSTEIN: He'll get to the truth.

OPPENHEIMER: And if the truth is catastrophic?

EINSTEIN: Then you stop. And share your findings with the Nazis, so neither side destroys the world.

I turn to leave.

EINSTEIN (CONT'D): Robert? (holding out paper) This is yours. Not mine.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In this dialogue heavy script about big ideas (there's a lot of telling), I really appreciated a simple visual symbol (showing).

Oppenheimer (2023)(revised, 1/3/22)
by Christopher Nolan
Based on the book, "American Prometheus The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer", by Kai Bird and Martin J. Sherwin

2024 OSCARS: Barbie (2023) - Things Lost in Execution; Capturing the Tone of Child's Play

[Quick Summary: Barbie leaves Barbie Land to find out why she is starting to feel real feelings, and finds out things are not as perfect as she thought.]

THE FILM: I saw the film first, and liked act 1, but not 2 and 3. I got confused, and I'm afraid, slightly bored.  Was it the script's fault?

THE SCRIPT: The script surprised me. It is clearer than the film, well-written, inventive, and reads at a zippy, carefree pace (even acts 2 and 3).

So if the script is pretty much the same as the film, why do I think the film does not quite deliver the promise of the script?  What got lost in the execution?

I don't know exactly, but here are my two cents:

1) PATRIARCHY DOESN'T LEND ITSELF TO SNAPPY REPARTEE.  I admire the writers' ambitions to tackle a BIG topic which read well on the page.

However, the arguments require time and explanation...which bogs down the speed that satire needs for laughs.*  As a result, the film was more telling than showing.

2) TOO EARNEST? Satire also requires a good dose of ridicule. In Acts 2 and 3, I found the tone...too earnest?  Trying to make a point? I wish there were more irony.

I do think this script is worth reading, especially for Act 1's breezy, ridiculous fun.  

I particularly like the first description of Barbie Land (below), which captures the mindset of how little girls play with Barbies, with exuberance and female-centric:

EXT. BARBIE LAND. DAY

Barbie Margot waves happily, sometimes with both hands, to other Barbies as her car silently drives itself through a bustling town. It's like Richard Scarry's Busy Town for Barbie. It's a wonder of color and shape. The houses are all see-through, like the toys, it's a Noah's Ark of doll-tastic magic.

It's also completely run by women. They hold every kind of job. Barbie Margot waves to a Barbie mail carrier, and an all Barbie construction crew. There is the occasional Ken, but mostly it's Barbie.

Barbie Margot drives past the Barbie White House which is, of course, pink.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was most moved when this script captured the fun, weird spirit of a child playing with Barbies. The movement of the characters even feel like play.

Barbie (2023)
by Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach

*Margot Robbie recounts (here) that Gerwig wanted her actors to speak at a certain pace and referenced His Girl Friday, one of my all time favorite screwball comedies. 

One of the things that I love about His Girl Friday is that it seemed to speed up as it went along.  It also had a small cast, and a personal, simpler story.   

I don't know if speeding up would even be possible with Barbie.  Barbie had a much bigger cast, and tackled a larger societal problem. The pace would inevitably slow down with that many moving parts.

2024 OSCARS: Past Lives (2023) - Voice Over in a Setup for Later Payoff

[Quick Summary: Nora, who left S. Korea as a child, reconnects twenty years later with Hae Sung, her childhood friend.]

I loved this script because it evoked such poignant emotions of love lost and found.

In several interviews, the writer/playwright Celine Song, mentioned that this is also about the characters' younger selves getting to say the goodbye that they hadn't had.

I liked how she set up that goodbye payoff with an earlier setup, in the scene below.

We can see that the two characters still have an unresolved connection because the voice over bridges them, despite the distance of space and time:

EXT. BARN HOUSE PICNIC TABLE - NIGHT - SOMETIME THAT SUMMER

The artists are all a little tipsy with empty bottles of wine and beer -- the evidence of a good night out --splayed out all over the table.

They listen to slightly-drunk Nora with varying degrees of interest:

NORA: There is a word in Korean: In-Yun. It means providence or fate, about it's specifically about relationships between people.

Nora's voice over plays out over the following silent scenes of Hae Sung in Shanghai:

INT. PLANE TO SHANGHAI - MORNING

Hae Sung is on a flight to Shanghai.

NORA (V.O.): I think it comes from Buddhism and reincarnation.

INT. SHANGHAI DORM ROOM - DUSK

Hae Sung is sleeping in his new dorm room. It is small and crappy, but the view of Shanghai is magnificent. 

On the bed is an information package about his language exchange program in both Korean and Mandarin with things like class schedule and local restaurant recommendations.

NORA (V.O.): It's an In-Yun if two strangers even walk by each other in the street and their clothes accidentally brush -  

EXT. SHANGHAI NIGHT MARKET - NIGHT

Hae Sung and the other language exchange students walk around the fish market on a group outing. Steam emanates from the food stalls, and it is full of late-night lovers.

It smells pungent and looks gorgeous.

There is a very cute GIRL (Korean, fellow language exchange student, 20) in the group who keeps glancing at Hae Sung.

Hae Sung doesn't notice.

Hae Sung lights up a cigarette, and offers one to his fellow students, who eagerly grab one from the pack.

NORA (V.O.): - because it means there must have been something between them in their past lives.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the voice over bridges the characters and keeps them emotionally connected, and is not merely an information dump.

Past Lives (2023)(undated)
by Celine Song