TODAY'S NUGGET: A New Leaf (Unproduced) - Comedy w/Romance vs. Rom-Com?; A Smart Montage of Mental Fears

[Quick Summary: After squandering his inheritance, Henry decides to keep up his expensive lifestyle by marrying, and then murdering, a forgetful heiress.

MY THREE THOUGHTS:

1) UNPRODUCED SCRIPT. I rarely post unproduced scripts, but this is special.  

The acclaimed Elaine May directed A New Leaf (1971), which she adapted,  directed, and co-starred with Walter Matthau.

Then someone hired actor-writer Carrie Fisher to update it (the 1995 draft below).

2) WHAT GENRE IS IT? At first, I wondered if it was a comedy with romance or a romantic comedy. It is the former, but how can the reader tell?

COMEDY WITH ROMANCE = The story is about the protagonist on a funny journey or situation to solve a problem.  He/she may falls in love on the side.

ROMANTIC COMEDY = The story is about two protagonists' relationship, i.e., a two hander.  Both arc and change through learning to love the other person.

This script is very much focused on Henry, his goal (becoming rich again), and overcoming selfishness. Henrietta's arc is smaller, as she commits to Henry faster. 

3) A SMART MONTAGE OF FEARS. I was very impressed by how the following montage flowed on the page.  It shows Henry at home with fears playing across his mind:

...HOSTESS: We don't take reservations at Stauffers. You have about a twenty minute wait for a table. Stand in the back of the rope please.

Henry turns away from the mirror and faces INTO CAMERA. His expression is one of growing horror. Behind him the mirror goes blank, reflecting only his figure without background.

VOICE (O.S.): I'm sorry, Mr. Graham. The New York Athletic Club does not keep those members on its roster who are remiss in their dues.

The lobby of The New York Athletic Club suddenly MATERIALIZES in the mirror. Henry remains FACING CAMERA and speaking to off-camera clerk in tones of paranoid conviction.

HENRY: That's not it! It's my suit, isn't it?

Mr. Solomon suddenly appears in the mirror behind Henry and walks up to the desk. He lays a hand on Henry's shoulder. Both Henry's react.

SOLOMON: Don't waste your time, Mr. Graham. Come with me to the Y.

HENRY (shrugging his hand off): No, thank you. I will not, even in this time of crisis, identify myself with a minority group.

THE ANGLE TIGHTENS to an EXTREME CLOSE-UP of Henry. There is the SOUND of traffic and horns blowing O.S. THE CAMERA PULLS BACK slightly to reveal Henry at the wheel of a car. It is obviously a low budget car of American design. Through the side window of the car we see a Ferrari pull up. In it is Frank. He sees Henry, pulls down his window, and calls...

FRANK: Henry, you're not...you're not driving a Chevrolet!

Henry turns quickly away. The red light that bathes the screen turns green...and the Ferrari zooms off leaving Henry behind with the rest of the cars Henry closes his eyes. A tear trickles down his cheek.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how clear the fear montages all had the theme of rejection in them.

A New Leaf (unproduced)(8/4/95 cut & paste draft)
by Carrie Fisher
Based on a screenplay written and directed by Elaine May.
Based on a short story, "The Green Heart," by Jack Ritchie.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Ishtar (1987) - Laying Out the Why of the "Point of No Return"

[Quick Summary: When two wanna be songwriters get a gig in Ishtar, they stumble into a conspiracy, and become unwitting targets of the C.I.A. and locals.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

a)  Funny or Not? I admire Elaine May, so I really wanted this script to be funny.

My conclusion: There were many comic moments, but I did not laugh much.

b) Point of No Return (PNR) = A turning point, or fork in the road, in which a character makes a decision and cannot go back to his previous life.

So WHY would a character venture into the unknown vs. safety?

In this script, I particularly like how May lays out WHY the protagonists decide to go to Morocco:

- Chuck and Lyle must decide whether to take the cheap paying gig in Morocco. [Need to make a decision.]
- In flashback, they relive how they met and what solidified their friendship. [Their belief in each other, they have what it takes.]
- Back to the present, they decide to go to Morocco. [PNR: We'll take the gig.]

The scene below is the flashback. Chuck has threatened to jump off the apartment ledge because he does not think he has talent or a future in songwriting:

ex. "EXT. THE CROWD BELOW

As Lyle's figure comes out on the ledge, the crowd gasps.

ANGLE - CHUCK

He stands pressed against the building, staring straight ahead as Lyle slowly makes his way toward him.

LYLE (calling): Hold on! Hold on, Hawk, I'm coming.

CHUCK: Don't come any closer. And don't call me Hawk.

Far below Two Firemen begin spreading a net.

CHUCK (closing his eyes): I told you not to tell anyone.

LYLE (as he moves steadily closer): I know you did. But I was afraid I wouldn't get here in time. Don't be mad at me, Chuck.

A VOICE CALLS (from the window): Chuck! This is Rabbi Peirce...

CHUCK: Oh, my God! Rabbi Peirce is here!

Lyle reaches Chuck. The two men stand spread-eagled against the building.

LYLE: Gimme your hand, Chuck. (Chuck does not move) Come on. I know how bad you feel, but there are people in the world worse off than you. Poor people, sick people... (after a moment) People who don't have anyone to go out on a ledge for them.

There is a long pause, then Chuck reaches slowly over and takes Lyle's hand. Together, hand in hand, they start toward the window, two small figures, 15 floors above the ground.

CHUCK: Lyle? (a stone falls out of the facing) Are you disappointed in me? I mean, now that you know I'm not the kind of guy you thought I was.

LYLE: You are the kind of guy I thought you were, Chuck. (he kicks gently at a pigeon)

CHUCK: No, I'm not. I lived with my parents until I was 32. I've dribbled my life away...

LYLE: Hey, it takes a lot of nerve not to have anything at your age. Most guys would be ashamed. but you've got the guts to say fuck it...because you'd rather have nothing than settle for less.

CHUCK (after a moment): I never looked at it that way. (he steps over the pigeon) Maybe...maybe I am the kind of guy you thought I was.

The scene wavers and returns to the present."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The script must lay out a character's motives and desires before the PNR. 

Here, the flashback shows how Chuck and Lyle fought to become songwriters (motive, desire) --> Of course they would take a cheap paying gig.

Otherwise Lyle would have to return to selling ice cream and pretzels.

Ishtar (1987)(blue draft, 10/11/87)
by Elaine May

TODAY'S NUGGET: Primary Colors (1998) - Showing Motive (By Absenting the Antagonist)

[Quick Summary: A young campaign worker helps a charismatic Southern governor run during the Presidential primary.]

In 1998, I didn't see this film in the theater.

Bill Clinton had just begun a second term, and who needed a story with a parallel "Clinton-like" character?

I wish I would've known then that this story is really about MOTIVES.

The writer, Elaine May, did two smart things in this script:

1) She created an ensemble to show the range of motives.

2) She does not put the candidate, Gov. Stanton, in every scene (as Roger Ebert points out here).

Because of #2, the ensemble must talk about their views on Stanton ---> We see what really drives them.
 
ex. Skeptical Henry is now working on Stanton's campaign.
March is a reporter and his ex-girlfriend.

"MARCH: And that's the kind of man you want to work for? A man who just wants to get elected?

HENRY: No. I want to work for a man who fights the good fight and then watch a Republican get elected. [Sarcasm reveals a new position.]

MARCH: What's the difference? Can you tell?

HENRY: Yes. I can tell the difference between a man who believes what I believe and lies about it to get elected, and a man who just doesn't give a fuck. And I'll take the liar. [He's gone 180.]

MARCH (staring at him): How did he do this to you?

HENRY: Do what? What are you talking about? Why are you making this guy into the devil? Why don't you, at least, get to know him. Take some time, maybe spend a few days with us here. I miss you, honey, and we could be together...

MARCH: God, I think you'd fuck me to get some good press for Stanton.  [She tells him the truth.]

He stares at her for a moment...then turns and walks away."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Deliberately remove the antagonist from time to time.

It will make the other characters talk and reveal themselves.

Primary Colors (1998)
by Elaine May
Based on the novel by Joe Klein

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Birdcage (1996) - Hold Off Releasing the Tension

[Quick Summary: Flamboyant, gay nightclub owners meet their son's financee's straightlaced parents for the first time.]

This script is a smooth read.

In fact, it's so smooth that I didn't realize how fast I was turning pages.

For example, I thought the conflict below happened over 1-2 pages.  It actually happens over five pages. 

One thing that kept me turning was that the tension was not released too soon.

Notice how the tension hovers for four pages * (p. 35-39):

SETUP: (p. 34-35)
 - Val gets engaged to Barbara Keeley. Her father is a super-conservative politician.
 - Val comes home to ask dad, Armand, to pretend he's not so flamboyant for the first meeting with Barbara's parents. This requires a change in clothes, furnishings, etc.

DECISION IS MADE: Armand turns Val down. (p. 35)

*TENSION RISES: (p. 35-38)
- Meanwhile, tabloid reporters surround the Keeley house
- Keeleys escape the media circus.

*EFFECT OF TENSION: (p. 38-39)
- Armand moody at work.
- Val sits in his room, hopeless.

*TENSION RELEASED: (p. 39)
- Val hears Armand in the next room: "Agador....We're redoing the apartment for tomorrow night. Goddamn it!"
- "Val sits up, slowly, his eyes brightening." [I like that we SEE (not told of) his dad's love.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't be afraid to hold off on releasing the tension.

The Birdcage (1996)(shooting script)
by Elaine May