[Quick Summary: Trent, an insurance detective, must track down Sutter Cane, a horror author who has mysteriously vanished after turning in half his new novel.]
THE KEY REASON I BOUGHT INTO THIS SERIOUSLY WEIRD STORY:
1st thought: I am a not a horror fan.
2nd thought: I generally avoid horror scripts because most are simply to shock or showcase special effects (blood, gore, gross out) vs. character (fear, dread, dismay).
3rd thought: Thirty pgs. in, I couldn't stop following Trent in a Seriously Weird case with plenty of fear/dread/dismay. Why would I willingly go on this journey?
I believed his motive. And it's not money.
Surprised? Me too, because my belief turns on the casual scene below.
It's not a showy scene, but it's the one that convinced me Trent would go to the ends of the earth because he is driven by the hunt:
INT. ATLANTIC INSURANCE OFFICE - DAY
...A pair of rock-steady hands REACH IN and light the cigarette for him.
TRENT (O.S.): Nervous, Mr. Paul?
We REVEAL John Trent, leaning against the desk that Mr. Paul is sitting in front of. Another man, ROBINSON, sits behind it. Trent is clean, attractive, confident. Light years away from the man we know from cell number nine. He's doing what he likes doing best, catching people in a lie. [This last line in particular did it for me.]
...MR. PAUL (unsure): No...
TRENT: I'm glad you understand. I thought you would, that's why I knew you wouldn't mind if I checked your story out with your wife.
MR. PAUL (sees it coming): My wife?
TRENT: Yes, you see we had three nagging pictures of your wife tooling around town wearing articles which you claimed perished in the fire.
Trent throws a package of photos into Mr. Paul's lap.
TRENT (CONT'D): And you know what else? When I went to speak with her, she was more than eager to tell us what really went down. Especially after I showed her the pictures of Miss Rosa. Who seems to be wearing even more of the articles which you claimed perished in the fire.
MR. PAUL (dazed): Miss Rosa?
Trent throws another pile of photos into Mr. Paul's lap then leans in quite close.
TRENT: Two words of advice my friend. If you're going to pull a scam, don't make your wife your partner. And if you do, don't fuck around behind her back.
Trent smiles.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the description "doing what he likes best" because it is Trent will seek to do, no matter the situation.
In the Mouth of Madness (1995))(2/21/92 draft w/revisions)
by Michael de Luca*
*Yes, that Michael de Luca. I've only known him as a mega producer, but he can really write.
Showing posts with label John Carpenter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Carpenter. Show all posts
Monday, July 13, 2020
Monday, June 17, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Big Trouble in Little China (1986) - Use of a Kiss During an Action Sequence
[Quick Summary: Jack Burton helps his friend Wang Chi rescue Wang's green eyed fiancee from the supernatural Lo Pan whose lair is underneath Chinatown.]
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) Too Much of the Same. I liked that this script has so much action.
But after awhile, it was the just the same scene, the same emotional dynamics.
Roger Ebert explains it much better:
However, I liked the kiss in the scene below because it has multiple layers:
- It acknowledges there is a Jack-Gracie attraction.
- It releases the audience's tension, now that all the captives are freed.
- It symbolizes freedom and celebration.
ex. "INT. BATHING POOL - DAY
UNDERWATER...AN INLET... A PIPE 18 INCHES WIDE...PEOPLE SQUEEZING INTO IT...TALK ABOUT INSANITY...BUBBLES, PANIC, THRASHING BODIES...WE DON'T SEE JACK BURTON.
INT. PIPE - DAY
Up ahead the first Chinese girl surfaces! Still in the pipe but above its water level! The going's still nightmarish but there's air...AND THE PIPE'S GETTING WIDER, NOT MUCH, 36 INCHES. Gracie breaks the surface! Wang Chi next!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Margo?!
Wang Chi has no idea, and Gracie shoves him on by her, Margo appearing, Gracie shoving her on by...
MARGO LITZENBERGER: Where are we!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Eddie?!
Eddie! Gasping for air! Gracie helps him, shoves him forward...
GRACIE LAW: Where's Jack?!
"Jack?" Getting familiar, Gracie showing concern, huh? She's looking back at the water, no Jack...no Jack... THEN JACK ERUPTING IN HER FACE!
GRACIE LAW: Jack!
She grabs him, elated. So is Jack, to be breathing again and be hugged by Gracie Law when a second ago he thought it was curtains...so he kisses her!
GRACIE LAW: Hey!
JACK BURTON: Sorry, sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.
GRACIE: Yeah, right. Let's go.
Their wet bodies on top of each other, no way they can move at the same time.
JACK BURTON: Ladies first."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The purpose of the kiss was not one fold, and thus had more meaning.
(In other words: It meant something more than just romantic attraction.)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)(rev. shooting script, 9/17/85)
by David Weinstein and Gary Goldman
Revisions by W.D. Richter
Directed by John Carpenter
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) Too Much of the Same. I liked that this script has so much action.
But after awhile, it was the just the same scene, the same emotional dynamics.
Roger Ebert explains it much better:
...the first 30 minutes of the movie gave me lots of room for hope. It was fast-moving, it was visually spectacular, it was exotic and lighthearted and filled with a spirit of adventure. But then, gradually, the movie began to recycle itself. It began to feel as if I was seeing the same thing more than once. After one amazing subterranean chamber had been survived and conquered, everybody fell down a chute into another one. By the end of the movie, I was just plain weary.2) Use of a Kiss During an Action Sequence. This script does not really delve into the Jack-Gracie relationship, which is fine. It's not that kind of movie.
However, I liked the kiss in the scene below because it has multiple layers:
- It acknowledges there is a Jack-Gracie attraction.
- It releases the audience's tension, now that all the captives are freed.
- It symbolizes freedom and celebration.
ex. "INT. BATHING POOL - DAY
UNDERWATER...AN INLET... A PIPE 18 INCHES WIDE...PEOPLE SQUEEZING INTO IT...TALK ABOUT INSANITY...BUBBLES, PANIC, THRASHING BODIES...WE DON'T SEE JACK BURTON.
INT. PIPE - DAY
Up ahead the first Chinese girl surfaces! Still in the pipe but above its water level! The going's still nightmarish but there's air...AND THE PIPE'S GETTING WIDER, NOT MUCH, 36 INCHES. Gracie breaks the surface! Wang Chi next!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Margo?!
Wang Chi has no idea, and Gracie shoves him on by her, Margo appearing, Gracie shoving her on by...
MARGO LITZENBERGER: Where are we!
GRACIE LAW: Where's Eddie?!
Eddie! Gasping for air! Gracie helps him, shoves him forward...
GRACIE LAW: Where's Jack?!
"Jack?" Getting familiar, Gracie showing concern, huh? She's looking back at the water, no Jack...no Jack... THEN JACK ERUPTING IN HER FACE!
GRACIE LAW: Jack!
She grabs him, elated. So is Jack, to be breathing again and be hugged by Gracie Law when a second ago he thought it was curtains...so he kisses her!
GRACIE LAW: Hey!
JACK BURTON: Sorry, sorry, I'm just thrilled to be alive.
GRACIE: Yeah, right. Let's go.
Their wet bodies on top of each other, no way they can move at the same time.
JACK BURTON: Ladies first."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The purpose of the kiss was not one fold, and thus had more meaning.
(In other words: It meant something more than just romantic attraction.)
Big Trouble in Little China (1986)(rev. shooting script, 9/17/85)
by David Weinstein and Gary Goldman
Revisions by W.D. Richter
Directed by John Carpenter
Monday, June 11, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: Ghosts of Mars (2001) - Clarity When Changing POV
[Quick Summary: On Mars, four cops arrive at a mining outpost to take a prisoner back to the big city...but only one cop survives the trip.]
CON: I didn't connect with this script, though it has all the elements - efficient, fast moving, Western, sci-fi, an escape. I'm not sure why.
PRO: I've always found it difficult to clearly change point of view (POV) without confusing the reader. This script makes it look so easy and natural.
In the scene below, we begin with characters meeting the Local Cop ---> Local Cop looking at the characters.
ex. "INT. STORAGE AREA - NIGHT
Bashira is alone in the storage area. She's frozen, staring at a locket closet. From inside comes a rhythmic THUMPING. Something's inside....
Helena draws her weapon and nods to Jericho to unlock the closet. He quietly fiddles with the lock and...
THE DOOR OPENS [First, characters look at Local Cop.]
A uniformed woman, a LOCAL COP, 20's, falls out. She seems more like a mental patient than a cop. She's in a stupor, but she raises her right arm and then makes a strange repetitive gesture, moving her arms listlessly together and then apart, the thumbs and index fingers extended upward.
HELENA: Officer, are you all right? (no response) Can you speak?
LOCAL COP (GHOST) POV [Then we switch to Local Cop's POV looking back.]
looking at Helena and the others.
The POV is strange, distorted.
Helena's VOICE sounds weird, slowed-down. This is the POV of something inside the Local Cop. A ghost. [This emphasizes we're still in Local Cop's POV.]
HELENA: Officer? Talk to me. What's going on?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Introduce a character before switching to that character's POV. Don't jump too fast to the new character's POV, otherwise it's too confusing.
ex. Introduce Local Cop before switching to Local Cop's POV.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)(undated)
by Larry Sulkis & John Carpenter
CON: I didn't connect with this script, though it has all the elements - efficient, fast moving, Western, sci-fi, an escape. I'm not sure why.
PRO: I've always found it difficult to clearly change point of view (POV) without confusing the reader. This script makes it look so easy and natural.
In the scene below, we begin with characters meeting the Local Cop ---> Local Cop looking at the characters.
ex. "INT. STORAGE AREA - NIGHT
Bashira is alone in the storage area. She's frozen, staring at a locket closet. From inside comes a rhythmic THUMPING. Something's inside....
Helena draws her weapon and nods to Jericho to unlock the closet. He quietly fiddles with the lock and...
THE DOOR OPENS [First, characters look at Local Cop.]
A uniformed woman, a LOCAL COP, 20's, falls out. She seems more like a mental patient than a cop. She's in a stupor, but she raises her right arm and then makes a strange repetitive gesture, moving her arms listlessly together and then apart, the thumbs and index fingers extended upward.
HELENA: Officer, are you all right? (no response) Can you speak?
LOCAL COP (GHOST) POV [Then we switch to Local Cop's POV looking back.]
looking at Helena and the others.
The POV is strange, distorted.
Helena's VOICE sounds weird, slowed-down. This is the POV of something inside the Local Cop. A ghost. [This emphasizes we're still in Local Cop's POV.]
HELENA: Officer? Talk to me. What's going on?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Introduce a character before switching to that character's POV. Don't jump too fast to the new character's POV, otherwise it's too confusing.
ex. Introduce Local Cop before switching to Local Cop's POV.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)(undated)
by Larry Sulkis & John Carpenter
Monday, June 4, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: Black Moon Rising (1986) - Part 2: Emotionally Justifying the Big Action Scene
[Quick Summary: Quint steals and stashes evidence in Black Moon, a
prototype car which has been stolen, and must break into a chop shop
fortress to retrieve it.]
TWO THOUGHTS: [Sorry for the length of the post, but the example is long.]
2) EMOTIONALLY JUSTIFYING THE BIG ACTION SCENE.
OLD DAYS: The writer would first create a character's story ---> He/she may/may not include a big action scene.
TODAY: A director or producer says, "I want a big explosion and a car chase." --> The writer has to create a story around, i.e., justify, the explosion and/or car chase.
So what do you do? You start with character if you're smart. Where is the character emotionally at the Big Action moment? Why is there need for emotional release?
Then you backtrack:
- The goal is the Big Action scene. Where is he/she emotionally?
- Create a conflict that will ramp up your character into that emotional state.
- Create a situation that allows those emotions to surface.
Let's use the scene below as an example.
- Big Action scene: Nina drives a Jag out of an underground garage by the skin-of-her-teeth.
- This scene releases all the tension of the scenes that have come before.
- Where is she emotionally? Needs release from anger at Ryland, her boss.
- What conflict would allow those emotions to surface? She is angry at Ryland. Indebted. Unappreciated. Disrespected.
- What situation would show that she's angry, indebted, unappreciated, disrespected? A scene where Nina conflicts with Ryland. She wants independence. He wins the argument. She is steaming.
ex. "INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
...She indicates an apparatus on the engine wall.
TECHNICIAN: Runs on hydrogen?
NINA: Runs on something. [Nina is smart, confident.]
Another Technician runs his hand along the car body.
SECOND TECHNICIAN: It's so light.
NINA: It's a composite of some kind, probably carbon fiber. [She knows what she's talking about.]
She moves to the rear of the car, checks the parachute holder.
NINA: It's got a parachute. It needs it.
She looks down into a notch in the rig - where QUINT stuffed the memory disk. Does she see something there?
RYLAND (O.S.): Interesting machine. What is it?
NINA's exploration is cut short. She looks up as RYLAND strolls over, LUIS right behind him. The Technicians and Mechanics show deference. NINA doesn't bother.
NINA: It's an interesting machine.
RYLAND takes it in.
RYLAND: And what am I supposed to do with it? [He dismisses her opinion.]
NINA: Nothing. It's mine. [She asserts independence.]
RYLAND: I see. You're making these decisions now. [He feels threatened.]
NINA: Just this once. [She backs down a little, knows owes him a debt.]
RYLAND: Oh. Good. For a moment there I thought you were after my job. [He makes a joke but still dominates.]
He smiles. LUIS laughs. Others laugh. RYLAND's eyes never leave NINA. She matches him stare for stare.
RYLAND: I understand there was a problem. [He's probing to test loyalty.]
NINA: What do you mean?
RYLAND doesn't reply. The silence is his reply. All eyes are on NINA now.
NINA: A guy tried to follow me. I lost him.
RYLAND: Did you?
NINA: Yes.
RYLAND: There was a man in the outer garage right after you got in. Coincidence? [He doesn't believe her. Is she helping Quint?]
NINA: I lost him.
RYLAND: So it was a coincidence.
NINA says nothing.
RYLAND: A car like this attracts attention. Did you think about that? [He is unappreciative.]
NINA: I brought in half your goddamn order tonight.
RYLAND: I'm talking about this one! [He scolds her for independent thinking.]
He slams the hood of the Black Moon.
RYLAND: This is a business, Nina. We don't take "trophies." [He shames her.]
NINA: Fine, then do what you want with it. [She's mad.]
She's as angry as he is. She turns and stomps away across the plant floor. RYLAND calls after her.
RYLAND: I have your permission, do I? [He dominates with the last word.]
NINA stops, turns. If looks could kill.
RYLAND meets her look. The plant has gone silent, everyone watching, anticipating an explosion.
NINA turns away. This isn't the time or the place. She heads across the floor. Crisis averted.
RYLAND, the winner of the round, gives the Black Moon a gentle pat.
RYLAND: Quite a car.
...
INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
NINA steers a sleek E-Type Jaguar across the busy plant floor toward the garage wall exit gate. She stops by a control box with a speaker and video camera attached. She looks into the camera.
NINA: Open the door, Richard.
No response. Then...
VOICE: One moment.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND is transferring numbers from his clicking Telex Machine into his computer. There's a buzz. He responds.
RYLAND: What?
NINA: Nina's leaving.
RYLAND instantly activates one of his monitors. The image of NINA in the Jag materializes.
RYLAND: Where are you going?
She shows her frustration.
NINA: Jesus Christ, out!
RYLAND: I want to see you. [He demands obedience.]
NINA: Later.
RYLAND: Now!
INT. PLANT
NINA speaks straight to the video camera, her voice quiet but intense.
NINA: No. [She defies him. Earlier, we saw why there's anger built up (setup). This is the payoff.]
She suddenly jams the car into reverse. The tires squeel. The Jag screeches backwards across the plant floor.
Started Mechanics and Technicians turn to see what's up.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
He punches up a row of monitors trying to keep NINA in view. He picks her up as the car brakes sharply near the head of the assembly area.
RYLAND: What the hell are you doing?
INT. JAG
NINA throws the car into forward gear, steps on the accelerator. The car shoots ahead.
The audience reacts. She's heading all out for the wall.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND reacts.
RYLAND: Nina! [He has personal feelings for Nina.]
INT. JAG
NINA's unwavering. He hands are clamped the wheel, her face is calm. The car rushes toward the wall.
RYLAND'S VOICE: NINA!!
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE/PLANT/JAG
RYLAND reaches for the wall door switch, hesitates.
The gap narrows.
The crew looks on, breathless.
NINA'S not going to stop.
RYLAND stares at his monitors.
The Jag nears the wall
RYLAND throws the switch.
The wall door starts to rise.
NINA doesn't let up.
RYLAND watches, stunned by what's happening.
The Jag scrapes just under the rising door, clearing by inches.
NINA lets out a long held breath.
The Mechanics and Technicians burst out of their tense silence. Some applaud, some cheer, everyone's buzzing. [Relief. All the emotions are released.]
RYLAND is trembling. Beads of sweat rim his forehead.
The wall door starts down again.
EXT. RYLAND TOWERS - DAY
The Jag roars out of the parking garage into the cul de sac.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
LUIS comes in with a handful of business papers. RYLAND'S still shaking.
RYLAND: Get out! [He is mad that she won the war.]
Luis goes."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The most effective Big Action scenes have a good amount of setup beforehand, both emotionally and plot wise.
Black Moon Rising (1986)(2nd draft, dated 12/19/84)
by John Carpenter and William Gray
Story by John Carpenter
TWO THOUGHTS: [Sorry for the length of the post, but the example is long.]
2) EMOTIONALLY JUSTIFYING THE BIG ACTION SCENE.
OLD DAYS: The writer would first create a character's story ---> He/she may/may not include a big action scene.
TODAY: A director or producer says, "I want a big explosion and a car chase." --> The writer has to create a story around, i.e., justify, the explosion and/or car chase.
So what do you do? You start with character if you're smart. Where is the character emotionally at the Big Action moment? Why is there need for emotional release?
Then you backtrack:
- The goal is the Big Action scene. Where is he/she emotionally?
- Create a conflict that will ramp up your character into that emotional state.
- Create a situation that allows those emotions to surface.
Let's use the scene below as an example.
- Big Action scene: Nina drives a Jag out of an underground garage by the skin-of-her-teeth.
- This scene releases all the tension of the scenes that have come before.
- Where is she emotionally? Needs release from anger at Ryland, her boss.
- What conflict would allow those emotions to surface? She is angry at Ryland. Indebted. Unappreciated. Disrespected.
- What situation would show that she's angry, indebted, unappreciated, disrespected? A scene where Nina conflicts with Ryland. She wants independence. He wins the argument. She is steaming.
ex. "INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
...She indicates an apparatus on the engine wall.
TECHNICIAN: Runs on hydrogen?
NINA: Runs on something. [Nina is smart, confident.]
Another Technician runs his hand along the car body.
SECOND TECHNICIAN: It's so light.
NINA: It's a composite of some kind, probably carbon fiber. [She knows what she's talking about.]
She moves to the rear of the car, checks the parachute holder.
NINA: It's got a parachute. It needs it.
She looks down into a notch in the rig - where QUINT stuffed the memory disk. Does she see something there?
RYLAND (O.S.): Interesting machine. What is it?
NINA's exploration is cut short. She looks up as RYLAND strolls over, LUIS right behind him. The Technicians and Mechanics show deference. NINA doesn't bother.
NINA: It's an interesting machine.
RYLAND takes it in.
RYLAND: And what am I supposed to do with it? [He dismisses her opinion.]
NINA: Nothing. It's mine. [She asserts independence.]
RYLAND: I see. You're making these decisions now. [He feels threatened.]
NINA: Just this once. [She backs down a little, knows owes him a debt.]
RYLAND: Oh. Good. For a moment there I thought you were after my job. [He makes a joke but still dominates.]
He smiles. LUIS laughs. Others laugh. RYLAND's eyes never leave NINA. She matches him stare for stare.
RYLAND: I understand there was a problem. [He's probing to test loyalty.]
NINA: What do you mean?
RYLAND doesn't reply. The silence is his reply. All eyes are on NINA now.
NINA: A guy tried to follow me. I lost him.
RYLAND: Did you?
NINA: Yes.
RYLAND: There was a man in the outer garage right after you got in. Coincidence? [He doesn't believe her. Is she helping Quint?]
NINA: I lost him.
RYLAND: So it was a coincidence.
NINA says nothing.
RYLAND: A car like this attracts attention. Did you think about that? [He is unappreciative.]
NINA: I brought in half your goddamn order tonight.
RYLAND: I'm talking about this one! [He scolds her for independent thinking.]
He slams the hood of the Black Moon.
RYLAND: This is a business, Nina. We don't take "trophies." [He shames her.]
NINA: Fine, then do what you want with it. [She's mad.]
She's as angry as he is. She turns and stomps away across the plant floor. RYLAND calls after her.
RYLAND: I have your permission, do I? [He dominates with the last word.]
NINA stops, turns. If looks could kill.
RYLAND meets her look. The plant has gone silent, everyone watching, anticipating an explosion.
NINA turns away. This isn't the time or the place. She heads across the floor. Crisis averted.
RYLAND, the winner of the round, gives the Black Moon a gentle pat.
RYLAND: Quite a car.
...
INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
NINA steers a sleek E-Type Jaguar across the busy plant floor toward the garage wall exit gate. She stops by a control box with a speaker and video camera attached. She looks into the camera.
NINA: Open the door, Richard.
No response. Then...
VOICE: One moment.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND is transferring numbers from his clicking Telex Machine into his computer. There's a buzz. He responds.
RYLAND: What?
NINA: Nina's leaving.
RYLAND instantly activates one of his monitors. The image of NINA in the Jag materializes.
RYLAND: Where are you going?
She shows her frustration.
NINA: Jesus Christ, out!
RYLAND: I want to see you. [He demands obedience.]
NINA: Later.
RYLAND: Now!
INT. PLANT
NINA speaks straight to the video camera, her voice quiet but intense.
NINA: No. [She defies him. Earlier, we saw why there's anger built up (setup). This is the payoff.]
She suddenly jams the car into reverse. The tires squeel. The Jag screeches backwards across the plant floor.
Started Mechanics and Technicians turn to see what's up.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
He punches up a row of monitors trying to keep NINA in view. He picks her up as the car brakes sharply near the head of the assembly area.
RYLAND: What the hell are you doing?
INT. JAG
NINA throws the car into forward gear, steps on the accelerator. The car shoots ahead.
The audience reacts. She's heading all out for the wall.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND reacts.
RYLAND: Nina! [He has personal feelings for Nina.]
INT. JAG
NINA's unwavering. He hands are clamped the wheel, her face is calm. The car rushes toward the wall.
RYLAND'S VOICE: NINA!!
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE/PLANT/JAG
RYLAND reaches for the wall door switch, hesitates.
The gap narrows.
The crew looks on, breathless.
NINA'S not going to stop.
RYLAND stares at his monitors.
The Jag nears the wall
RYLAND throws the switch.
The wall door starts to rise.
NINA doesn't let up.
RYLAND watches, stunned by what's happening.
The Jag scrapes just under the rising door, clearing by inches.
NINA lets out a long held breath.
The Mechanics and Technicians burst out of their tense silence. Some applaud, some cheer, everyone's buzzing. [Relief. All the emotions are released.]
RYLAND is trembling. Beads of sweat rim his forehead.
The wall door starts down again.
EXT. RYLAND TOWERS - DAY
The Jag roars out of the parking garage into the cul de sac.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
LUIS comes in with a handful of business papers. RYLAND'S still shaking.
RYLAND: Get out! [He is mad that she won the war.]
Luis goes."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The most effective Big Action scenes have a good amount of setup beforehand, both emotionally and plot wise.
Black Moon Rising (1986)(2nd draft, dated 12/19/84)
by John Carpenter and William Gray
Story by John Carpenter
TODAY'S NUGGET: Black Moon Rising (1986) - Part 1: Three Story Lines
[Quick Summary: Quint steals and stashes evidence in Black Moon, a
prototype car which has been stolen, and must break into a chop shop
fortress to retrieve it.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) 3 STORY LINES. In my list of the "most difficult writing skills,"* I put three separate story lines near the top.**
This script has three story lines that will intersect, which is a more common structure:
- Quint's story - He needs to find the Black Moon to retrieve the evidence.
- Nina's story - She's a car thief who has stolen Black Moon.
- Black Moon builders - They want their car back.
Everyone has a different motive, but everyone wants Black Moon, i.e., the point of intersection. This puts them in direct conflict with each other.
Also, it keeps the tension keeps rising.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When story lines intersect, it is often over a common object or person. This ensures that the characters continue to directly conflict.
Black Moon Rising (1986)(2nd draft, dated 12/19/84)
by John Carpenter and William Gray
Story by John Carpenter
*Also on the list: Rom-coms (for striking the right tone).
**Best Years of Our Lives (1946) is the only script that I've found so far that handled three separate story lines in a satisfying way. Even there, I considered it 2 1/2 story lines because two stories crossed a little.
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) 3 STORY LINES. In my list of the "most difficult writing skills,"* I put three separate story lines near the top.**
This script has three story lines that will intersect, which is a more common structure:
- Quint's story - He needs to find the Black Moon to retrieve the evidence.
- Nina's story - She's a car thief who has stolen Black Moon.
- Black Moon builders - They want their car back.
Everyone has a different motive, but everyone wants Black Moon, i.e., the point of intersection. This puts them in direct conflict with each other.
Also, it keeps the tension keeps rising.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When story lines intersect, it is often over a common object or person. This ensures that the characters continue to directly conflict.
Black Moon Rising (1986)(2nd draft, dated 12/19/84)
by John Carpenter and William Gray
Story by John Carpenter
*Also on the list: Rom-coms (for striking the right tone).
**Best Years of Our Lives (1946) is the only script that I've found so far that handled three separate story lines in a satisfying way. Even there, I considered it 2 1/2 story lines because two stories crossed a little.
Monday, May 28, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: Escape from L.A. (1996) - Satire in an Action Film
[Quick Summary: After he is infected with a viral time bomb, Snake Plissken must retrieve a prototype from the prison island of L.A. in order to get the antidote, or die.]
Ah, the sequel. How to do it right fifteen years after the original?
I'll be honest...It wouldn't have occurred to me to satirize the genre.* It's brilliant.
I think it's the reason that the over the top, crazy special effect scenes don't come off as "trying too hard." It is not meant to be taken seriously and takes the pressure off.
And it's a lot of fun!
For example, the ridiculous tsunami vs. car chase mocks all car chases:
ex. "The water sweeps them up until they disappear under the blackness...
Until suddenly Pipeline pops up on top of the tsunami, riding on his surfboard, arms outstretched, feet braced.
And then Plissken pops up beside him, surfing clumsily on top of the tsunami wave, kneeling on his surfboard.
They blast down Wilshire Canyon at 80 miles an hour. Plissken is wobbly on the surfboard, but he manages to stay on top of the wave. Finally, he gets the hang of it, glances over at Pipeline who grins from ear to ear.
PIPLINE: Awesome, Snake, AWESOME, man!
Plissken looks up ahead...
HIS POV - MOVING THROUGH WILSHIRE CANYON
Five feet from street level. An old van speeds along what's left of Wilshire Boulevard, right on the canyon's edge. It veers around debris in the street, changes lanes suddenly, hell bent for leather.
Plissken and Pipeline move closer and closer to the van as the tsunami sweeps them along.
Now they move alongside the van, and Plissken stares over...
CLOSER - THE VAN
Behind the wheel is Map To The Stars Eddie, diving like a lunatic, his teeth bared and set, madder than shit.
Plissken's eye widens, burns.
PLISSKEN (to Pipeline): See you later.
And suddenly Plissken stands up, shifts his weight, and the surfboard slides sideways, across the surface of the tsunami all the way over to the edge, right next to the van.
MAP TO THE STARS EDDIE
glances to his left...
HIS POV - PLISSKEN
is surfacing the tsunami not 10 feet away from him.
Map To The Stars Eddie stares in absolute horror. Plissken tips the board again, and slides another 5 feet closer...
AS MAP TO THE STARS EDDIE
Jams on the pedal, and the van screams forward...
AS PLISSKEN
Stands up and leaps from the surfboard...
For a moment he is airborne, leaping across the gap to the van...and slams into the side of the van. He grabs on to the roof, hangs on with one hand, his body whipping against the rocking, bucking side. Map To The Stars Eddie starts swerving, trying to throw Plissken off."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When ridiculing a car chase, still play it real.
In the scene above, Snake might be riding a tsunami, but he is still on a mission to find the prototype and Eddie is the key.
Escape from L.A. (1996)(undated draft)
by John Carpenter, Debra Hill, and Kurt Russell
*"...But “Escape From L.A.” has such manic energy, such a weird, cockeyed vision, that it may work on some moviegoers as satire and on others as the real thing."
Ah, the sequel. How to do it right fifteen years after the original?
I'll be honest...It wouldn't have occurred to me to satirize the genre.* It's brilliant.
I think it's the reason that the over the top, crazy special effect scenes don't come off as "trying too hard." It is not meant to be taken seriously and takes the pressure off.
And it's a lot of fun!
For example, the ridiculous tsunami vs. car chase mocks all car chases:
ex. "The water sweeps them up until they disappear under the blackness...
Until suddenly Pipeline pops up on top of the tsunami, riding on his surfboard, arms outstretched, feet braced.
And then Plissken pops up beside him, surfing clumsily on top of the tsunami wave, kneeling on his surfboard.
They blast down Wilshire Canyon at 80 miles an hour. Plissken is wobbly on the surfboard, but he manages to stay on top of the wave. Finally, he gets the hang of it, glances over at Pipeline who grins from ear to ear.
PIPLINE: Awesome, Snake, AWESOME, man!
Plissken looks up ahead...
HIS POV - MOVING THROUGH WILSHIRE CANYON
Five feet from street level. An old van speeds along what's left of Wilshire Boulevard, right on the canyon's edge. It veers around debris in the street, changes lanes suddenly, hell bent for leather.
Plissken and Pipeline move closer and closer to the van as the tsunami sweeps them along.
Now they move alongside the van, and Plissken stares over...
CLOSER - THE VAN
Behind the wheel is Map To The Stars Eddie, diving like a lunatic, his teeth bared and set, madder than shit.
Plissken's eye widens, burns.
PLISSKEN (to Pipeline): See you later.
And suddenly Plissken stands up, shifts his weight, and the surfboard slides sideways, across the surface of the tsunami all the way over to the edge, right next to the van.
MAP TO THE STARS EDDIE
glances to his left...
HIS POV - PLISSKEN
is surfacing the tsunami not 10 feet away from him.
Map To The Stars Eddie stares in absolute horror. Plissken tips the board again, and slides another 5 feet closer...
AS MAP TO THE STARS EDDIE
Jams on the pedal, and the van screams forward...
AS PLISSKEN
Stands up and leaps from the surfboard...
For a moment he is airborne, leaping across the gap to the van...and slams into the side of the van. He grabs on to the roof, hangs on with one hand, his body whipping against the rocking, bucking side. Map To The Stars Eddie starts swerving, trying to throw Plissken off."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When ridiculing a car chase, still play it real.
In the scene above, Snake might be riding a tsunami, but he is still on a mission to find the prototype and Eddie is the key.
Escape from L.A. (1996)(undated draft)
by John Carpenter, Debra Hill, and Kurt Russell
*"...But “Escape From L.A.” has such manic energy, such a weird, cockeyed vision, that it may work on some moviegoers as satire and on others as the real thing."
Monday, May 1, 2017
TODAY'S NUGGET: They Live (1988) - "Compare & Contrast" Technique for a Reveal
[Quick Summary: Down on his luck worker finds a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see that aliens are keeping humans asleep and enslaved.]
How would you reveal aliens among us?
In this script, writer John Carpenter first grounds us in the mundane...
...and then mixes it with the extraordinary (because he is, after all, Carpenter).
Below, he uses a "compare and contrast" technique to get the reveal across:
a) Nada, our hero, sees a human get into a car (no sunglasses, ordinary).
b) Nada sees an alien (with sunglasses, extraordinary).
c) Nada can't make sense of what he's just seen (can't process the illogical).
ex. "Nada looks over...
HIS POV: (normal, color) as the Well-Dressed Customer walks up to his Mercedes. He drops a full paper on the sidewalk, keeps the business section, gets into the car. Sunglasses come up OVER FRAME (black and white) and now it's a Well-Dressed Hideous Ghoul who shoots Nada a final glance...
VENDOR: Hey buddy -- I don't want a hassle, okay? Either pay me or put it back...
Nada numbly puts back the magazine. He's moving on auto pilot now, staggering past the Vendor who looks at him curiously. Moving on down the street...
HIS POV: THRU SUNGLASSES (black and white), a BUSINESSMAN GHOUL, same awful face, stands at a pay phone...
BUSINESSMAN GHOUL: Don't worry, the insurance company will take care of it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: "Comparing and contrasting" external situations is an effective way to reveal what a character is having difficulty processing internally.
They Live (1988)
by John Carpenter (written as Frank Armitage)(shooting script)
Based upon the short story, "Eight O'Clock in the Morning," by Ray Nelson*
* I am interested that Nelson is apparently the creator of the propeller beanie.
How would you reveal aliens among us?
In this script, writer John Carpenter first grounds us in the mundane...
...and then mixes it with the extraordinary (because he is, after all, Carpenter).
Below, he uses a "compare and contrast" technique to get the reveal across:
a) Nada, our hero, sees a human get into a car (no sunglasses, ordinary).
b) Nada sees an alien (with sunglasses, extraordinary).
c) Nada can't make sense of what he's just seen (can't process the illogical).
ex. "Nada looks over...
HIS POV: (normal, color) as the Well-Dressed Customer walks up to his Mercedes. He drops a full paper on the sidewalk, keeps the business section, gets into the car. Sunglasses come up OVER FRAME (black and white) and now it's a Well-Dressed Hideous Ghoul who shoots Nada a final glance...
VENDOR: Hey buddy -- I don't want a hassle, okay? Either pay me or put it back...
Nada numbly puts back the magazine. He's moving on auto pilot now, staggering past the Vendor who looks at him curiously. Moving on down the street...
HIS POV: THRU SUNGLASSES (black and white), a BUSINESSMAN GHOUL, same awful face, stands at a pay phone...
BUSINESSMAN GHOUL: Don't worry, the insurance company will take care of it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: "Comparing and contrasting" external situations is an effective way to reveal what a character is having difficulty processing internally.
They Live (1988)
by John Carpenter (written as Frank Armitage)(shooting script)
Based upon the short story, "Eight O'Clock in the Morning," by Ray Nelson*
* I am interested that Nelson is apparently the creator of the propeller beanie.
Monday, April 24, 2017
TODAY'S NUGGET: Halloween II (1981) - Delivering the Promise from the Opening Shot
[Quick Summary: Picking up from the first film, Laurie is transported to the hospital, where she and others are stalked by Mike Myers, who is still alive.]
BAD NEWS: I liked this script but didn't love it.
The stakes are high and it's scary, but...it feels like Halloween 1, the second half.
I guess I'm still not sure what makes a sequel good to meet people's expectations.
GOOD NEWS: I think the opening is a real crowd pleaser.
It acknowledges the loyal audience, "We know why you came: For scares!"
ex. "FADE IN:
MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
In the middle of a black screen is a pumpkin.
A jack-o-lantern. Two candles on either side cast a flickering orange glow on the carved, grinning face.
CAMERA SLOWLY DOLLIES IN on the pumpkin.
SUPERIMPOSE MAIN TITLES.
Finally the pumpkin FILLS THE SCREEN. The final credit is SUPERIMPOSED.
Then suddenly the pumpkin CRACKS OPEN from top to bottom!
Underneath the meat, pulp and seeds that pour out is a wet, gleaming skull!
DISSOLVE TO:
BLACK SCREEN."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like a script that knows what it is, and delivers.
Here, this is a horror script and it delivers the scares from the opening shot, i.e., the audience knows it's in good hands.
Halloween II (1981)(shooting script, dated 3/12/81)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
BAD NEWS: I liked this script but didn't love it.
The stakes are high and it's scary, but...it feels like Halloween 1, the second half.
I guess I'm still not sure what makes a sequel good to meet people's expectations.
GOOD NEWS: I think the opening is a real crowd pleaser.
It acknowledges the loyal audience, "We know why you came: For scares!"
ex. "FADE IN:
MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
In the middle of a black screen is a pumpkin.
A jack-o-lantern. Two candles on either side cast a flickering orange glow on the carved, grinning face.
CAMERA SLOWLY DOLLIES IN on the pumpkin.
SUPERIMPOSE MAIN TITLES.
Finally the pumpkin FILLS THE SCREEN. The final credit is SUPERIMPOSED.
Then suddenly the pumpkin CRACKS OPEN from top to bottom!
Underneath the meat, pulp and seeds that pour out is a wet, gleaming skull!
DISSOLVE TO:
BLACK SCREEN."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like a script that knows what it is, and delivers.
Here, this is a horror script and it delivers the scares from the opening shot, i.e., the audience knows it's in good hands.
Halloween II (1981)(shooting script, dated 3/12/81)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Monday, April 17, 2017
TODAY'S NUGGET: Escape from New York (1981) - Antagonists + 1 Goal = Unity & Clarity
[Quick Summary: Convict Snake Plissken has 24 hrs. to find and rescue the U.S. President in NYC, which now is essentially a prison island ruled by the Duke.]
What I like about John Carpenter scripts: They are very clear.
For example, Escape is about a man vs. his environment.
It could've been confusing because there are multiple antagonists:
First, Plissken commits a crime, then
--> He is jailed
--> He's offered his freedom if he rescues the President from NYC, a place so treacherous that the police avoid it.
--> He arrives in NYC (p. 41) and ducks and dodges criminals to locate the President*
--> He finally meets the biggest antagonist, the Duke (p. 84)*
I think the script was so clear because it has the unity of a single goal, i.e., no matter how many obstacles, Plissken focuses on finding the President and getting him out.
ex. "PLISSKEN: Mister President...
The man turns around. He is DRUNK. He holds a bottle of awful-looking yellow liquid. He wears the President's coat and the vital signs bracelet. He grins drunkenly.
DRUNK: I'm the President. Sure, I'm the President. I knew when I got this thing I'd be President!
Plissken grabs him.
PLISSKEN: Where'd you get it?
DRUNK: Woke up. There it was. Like a miracle!
Holding his arm, Plissken WHACKS the vital signs bracelet against the wall!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Go ahead and create multiple antagonists!
(As long as you have a unity of goal to keep the story focused, that is.)
Escape from New York (1981)(shooting script, dated 6/10/80)
by John Carpenter and Nick Castle
**I was surprised that Plissken gets to NYC so late, and meets the big Duke even later, but it works here!
What I like about John Carpenter scripts: They are very clear.
For example, Escape is about a man vs. his environment.
It could've been confusing because there are multiple antagonists:
First, Plissken commits a crime, then
--> He is jailed
--> He's offered his freedom if he rescues the President from NYC, a place so treacherous that the police avoid it.
--> He arrives in NYC (p. 41) and ducks and dodges criminals to locate the President*
--> He finally meets the biggest antagonist, the Duke (p. 84)*
I think the script was so clear because it has the unity of a single goal, i.e., no matter how many obstacles, Plissken focuses on finding the President and getting him out.
ex. "PLISSKEN: Mister President...
The man turns around. He is DRUNK. He holds a bottle of awful-looking yellow liquid. He wears the President's coat and the vital signs bracelet. He grins drunkenly.
DRUNK: I'm the President. Sure, I'm the President. I knew when I got this thing I'd be President!
Plissken grabs him.
PLISSKEN: Where'd you get it?
DRUNK: Woke up. There it was. Like a miracle!
Holding his arm, Plissken WHACKS the vital signs bracelet against the wall!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Go ahead and create multiple antagonists!
(As long as you have a unity of goal to keep the story focused, that is.)
Escape from New York (1981)(shooting script, dated 6/10/80)
by John Carpenter and Nick Castle
**I was surprised that Plissken gets to NYC so late, and meets the big Duke even later, but it works here!
Monday, April 10, 2017
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Fog (1980) - How Long Before the Bomb(s) Detonate(s)?
[Quick Summary: On the evening before its centennial celebration, a small northern Californian town and its citizens are attacked by vengeful supernatural fog.]
Let's say you know there is a bomb under the table.
How many pages into a script do you have to know WHY it was placed there?
In this script, the writers were able to postpone it until p. 45! That's amazing.
So how did the writers keep us interested between p. 1-44? I found a few hints:
- There are multiple bombs detonating all the time.
- The bombs are not all the same. ex. The first one is like a smoke bomb, i.e., destructive but not deadly.
- The bombs happen at random, like shark attacks.
- The citizens have to figure out that bombs are happening.
- Then they have to discover the bombs have a pattern.
I don't want to spoil the reveal WHY, so here is a sample of an early "smoke" bomb:
ex. "INT. CAR
...Nick puts the truck in gear and starts up again. The MUSIC onthe radio ends and Steve's voice comes on.
STEVE (voice over radio): It's four and a half minutes after midnight and let me be the first to wish Antonio Bay a Happy Birthday. We're one hundred years old today!
Suddenly the driver's window next to Nick SHATTERS wildly into a million pieces!
ANGLE ON FRONT WINDOW
The entire front window SHATTERS, BLASTING inward!
ANGLE ON ELIZABETH
She SCREAMS and the passenger window CRASHES in on her!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's ok to postpone the WHY of a bomb.
We can build suspense in the meanwhile: who might be a potential victim; the consequences for the town during a public celebration; etc.
The Fog (1980)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Let's say you know there is a bomb under the table.
How many pages into a script do you have to know WHY it was placed there?
In this script, the writers were able to postpone it until p. 45! That's amazing.
So how did the writers keep us interested between p. 1-44? I found a few hints:
- There are multiple bombs detonating all the time.
- The bombs are not all the same. ex. The first one is like a smoke bomb, i.e., destructive but not deadly.
- The bombs happen at random, like shark attacks.
- The citizens have to figure out that bombs are happening.
- Then they have to discover the bombs have a pattern.
I don't want to spoil the reveal WHY, so here is a sample of an early "smoke" bomb:
ex. "INT. CAR
...Nick puts the truck in gear and starts up again. The MUSIC onthe radio ends and Steve's voice comes on.
STEVE (voice over radio): It's four and a half minutes after midnight and let me be the first to wish Antonio Bay a Happy Birthday. We're one hundred years old today!
Suddenly the driver's window next to Nick SHATTERS wildly into a million pieces!
ANGLE ON FRONT WINDOW
The entire front window SHATTERS, BLASTING inward!
ANGLE ON ELIZABETH
She SCREAMS and the passenger window CRASHES in on her!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's ok to postpone the WHY of a bomb.
We can build suspense in the meanwhile: who might be a potential victim; the consequences for the town during a public celebration; etc.
The Fog (1980)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Monday, April 3, 2017
TODAY'S NUGGET: Halloween (1978) - Delivering a Gripping Script on a Low Budget
[Quick Summary: A babysitter and her friends are stalked by evil Mike Myers who has just escaped an asylum.]
Three Things I Find Fascinating About This Script:
1) Carpenter made it for $300k and thought it didn't need a sequel:
I think it's because Carpenter:
- knew the film was going to be done on the cheap
- knew he had to deliver the scares
- knew that he had to deliver SOMETHING that didn't require stunts, car chases, etc.
So he cranked up the levels of tension about what was to happen next (also known as Hitchcock's "bomb under the table.")
ex. "[Dr.] Loomis glances at Marion as she lights a cigarette. She shoves the matches into the pack and tosses it on the dashboard. Loomis stares at the cigarette pack. The pack of matches reads: "The Rabbit in Red Lounge -- Entertainment Nightly." Loomis turns his eyes back to the rain-slicked road. [This is a setup for a later payoff.]
LOOMIS: Ever done anything like this before?
MARION: Only minimum security.
LOOMIS: I see. [This feels bad.]
MARION (defensively): What does that mean?
LOOMIS: It means ... I see.
MARION: You don't have to make this any harder than it already is.
LOOMIS: I couldn't if I tried. [Yes, it is really bad.]
MARION: The only thing that ever bothers me is their gibberish. When they start raving on and on... LOOMIS: You don't have anything to worry about. He hasn't spoken a word in 15 years. [This is really, really bad! I am anxious. What is next?]
Both of them suddenly stare out the windshield in front of them.
POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- FIELD
Through the rain we see a field off to the side of the road. Dimly lit by the car headlights are FIVE PATIENTS, dressed in wind-blown white gowns, drenched by the rain, wandering aimlessly around the field." [So, so bad! HOW WILL THIS END??!!]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that this script puts the focus on what it can do (increase tension), and not on what it cannot (big effects, CGI).
It does not whine about its budget nor try to overcompensate ("aren't we clever!")
Halloween (1978)(shooting draft, dated 4/10/78)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
Three Things I Find Fascinating About This Script:
1) Carpenter made it for $300k and thought it didn't need a sequel:
But Michael Myers was an absence of character. And yet all the sequels are trying to explain that. That’s silliness – it just misses the whole point of the first movie, to me. He’s part person, part supernatural force. The sequels rooted around in motivation. I thought that was a mistake.2) Mike Myers is a super-scary character BECAUSE he has no motivation:
But it was a movie where the main character, the guy in the mask, really isn’t altogether human. He has no characteristics. He's, uh, almost like a machine. He was just pure evil. That was what I intended to do. It's evil out of nothing, evil from no background, which completely creeps me out as a human being, that evil could arrive at my doorstep without a purpose, without a past, without an origin. So that's the idea behind it. It was put together to scare you. That’s all.3) This script reads very fast, and does not read like a low budget film. Why?
I think it's because Carpenter:
- knew the film was going to be done on the cheap
- knew he had to deliver the scares
- knew that he had to deliver SOMETHING that didn't require stunts, car chases, etc.
So he cranked up the levels of tension about what was to happen next (also known as Hitchcock's "bomb under the table.")
ex. "[Dr.] Loomis glances at Marion as she lights a cigarette. She shoves the matches into the pack and tosses it on the dashboard. Loomis stares at the cigarette pack. The pack of matches reads: "The Rabbit in Red Lounge -- Entertainment Nightly." Loomis turns his eyes back to the rain-slicked road. [This is a setup for a later payoff.]
LOOMIS: Ever done anything like this before?
MARION: Only minimum security.
LOOMIS: I see. [This feels bad.]
MARION (defensively): What does that mean?
LOOMIS: It means ... I see.
MARION: You don't have to make this any harder than it already is.
LOOMIS: I couldn't if I tried. [Yes, it is really bad.]
MARION: The only thing that ever bothers me is their gibberish. When they start raving on and on... LOOMIS: You don't have anything to worry about. He hasn't spoken a word in 15 years. [This is really, really bad! I am anxious. What is next?]
Both of them suddenly stare out the windshield in front of them.
POV THROUGH WINDSHIELD -- FIELD
Through the rain we see a field off to the side of the road. Dimly lit by the car headlights are FIVE PATIENTS, dressed in wind-blown white gowns, drenched by the rain, wandering aimlessly around the field." [So, so bad! HOW WILL THIS END??!!]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that this script puts the focus on what it can do (increase tension), and not on what it cannot (big effects, CGI).
It does not whine about its budget nor try to overcompensate ("aren't we clever!")
Halloween (1978)(shooting draft, dated 4/10/78)
by John Carpenter and Debra Hill
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