TODAY'S NUGGET: A Man Who Loved Women (1983) - Blake Edwards Creates Romantic Push-Pull Externalized into Action

[Quick Summary: David, a womanizing sculptor, seeks help from his female psychiatrist about his obsession with women and inability to make decisions.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) STARS GALORE! This film, adapted and directed by Blake Edwards, had plenty of star power: Burt Reynolds, Julie Andrews, and Kim Bassinger. 

2) ADAPTATION ISSUES. I thought this was an admirable attempt at adapting a French film. But this might be one of the comedies that doesn't translate well.*

2) ROMANTIC COMMITMENT. Romantic farce** is about ridiculing how humans mess up the basics of love with their vices and follies. 

This script plays with the protagonist's (David) indecisiveness to commit. He's unwilling to sacrifice one for the other.  Maybe he just loves the chase too much?***

This scene below demonstrates David's internal push-pull emotions: 
- David has just met Young Woman at the store during Christmas shopping.  
- David helps carry her packages to her apartment, while walking and talking.
- David has just asked the Young Woman out to dinner, but sees Legs walk by and is distracted.
- Note how David's internal push-pull is externalized into action.  He's half listening.  He's with Young Woman but his attention is on Legs.

EXT. STREET - MOVING SHOT - NIGHT

...YOUNG WOMAN: I've been going steady with someone for nearly a year now...

They reach her car.

YOUNG WOMAN (continuing): ...but if I had to be honest, it's not working out.

She takes out her keys, unlocks the door, while David struggles with the choice of staying or pursuing the legs. 

YOUNG WOMAN: ...so the prospect of having dinner with you...

 DAVID (frantically): Look... (dumps the packages on the hood of the car) Don't move. Stay right here... (steps into the street) I'll be right back. (starts to cross the street) Please don't leave...

YOUNG WOMAN: But I can't...

He stops, looks after the legs, then at the Young Woman. He is frozen like an animal, caught in the car's headlights.

YOUNG WOMAN (continuing; screams): Look out!

ONCOMING CAR

As the terrified driver slams on the brakes.

DAVID

The split second before the impact.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed by how David's internal emotions we seen in actions.

I do admit, however, the overall script left me feeling unsatisfied, unresolved and shaggy (which could be the point?)  

The Man Who Loved Women (1983)(Oct., 1982 final draft)
by Blake Edwards & Geoffrey Edwards
Adapted from Francois Truffaut's L'homme qui aimait les femmes (1977)

*Critic Roger Ebert was not complimentary of this film:

"Here is a sad movie with a funny movie inside trying to get out...This movie is a remake, by the way, of a little-seen 1977 Francois Truffaut film. In the Truffaut, the man was seen as something of a victim, suffering from an incurable disease. The tip-off to the phoniness of the Reynolds version is that the movie seems to be recommending the disease."   

I think he's right that the problem might've been the change of focus, i.e., switching from "commitment is a virtue" to the polar opposite, "commitment-phobic is the virtue."

**As a refresher, farce relies on satire:

- Farce (n.) - a light dramatic composition marked by broadly satirical comedy and improbable plot

- Satire (n.) -  a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn

***I really loved Roger Ebert's extremely astute observation of this character:

"He [David] thinks he loves them, but he's not a love, he's a collector....The problem with a man who loves all women is that he can love a woman."

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Cotton Club (1984) - Breaking Through Writer's Block with 4-5 Word Summaries

[Quick Summary: Several stories of a coronet player getting mixed with mobster, racial tensions, in the Roaring Twenties and early Depression.]

There were three things I really liked in this script:

1) THIS LINE OF DIALOGUE:  

DUTCH: ...You make a livin' with that horn?

DIXIE: I'm eatin' but I'm not getting fat.

2) THE FACT THAT THIS SCRIPT JUMPS AROUND A LOT BUT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT. Critic Roger Ebert explains what is in the mix:

Coppola has a way, in this film, of telling all the different stories without giving us the impression he's jumping around a lot. Maybe the music helps. It gives the movie a continuity and an underlying rhythm that makes all of the characters' lives into steps in a sad ballet. We like some of the characters, but we don't have much respect for them, and the movie doesn't bother with clear distinctions between good and evil. "The Cotton Club" is a somewhat cynical movie about a very cynical time, and along with the music and the romance there is racism, cruelty, betrayal, and stunning violence. Romance with a cutting edge.

3) MOST SLUG LINES INCLUDED 4-5 WORD SUMMARY OF "WHAT IS THIS SCENE ABOUT?" It's not a gimmick; it broke through my writer's block.

I was stuck recently and tried this trick to summarize the scene before I wrote it.  Behold!  It cut down on distractions and focused me immediately.

I will note that it was seeing all the various examples that helped.  So I encourage you to read it and page through it for inspiration when you're stuck.

Here are five examples (they're underlined as presented in the script):
- EXT. DWYER APARTMENT - DAY: VINCE SAYS HE'S MARRIED
- EXT. COTTON CLUB - DAY: EXIT AUDITION/SEE LILA ROSE
- INT. HOOFER'S CLUB - DAY: SUGAR REMINDS SANDMAN HE'S LATE
- INT. UBANGI CLUB - NIGHT: BAD JAM SESSION
- INT. DWYER APARTMENT - NIGHT: TEA & TOAST WITH PSYCHOPATH

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've been returning to this script again and again, just to look at the 4-5 word summaries for different ways to tackle scenes.

The Cotton Club (1984)(8/22/83 shooting script)
by William Kennedy and Francis Ford Coppol/a

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Jewel of the Nile (1985) - Perfectly Timed Dialogue and Action (Stakes, Hope-Fear in Romance)

[Quick Summary: A sequel to Romancing the Stone. After an ambitious African politician kidnaps writer Joan Wilder to write his life's story, the selfish Jack Coulter races to her rescue.] 

I agreed with critic Roger Ebert that this story was good, but it lacked romance:

But the original contract specified a sequel, and it’s to everybody’s credit that “The Jewel of the Nile” is an ambitious and elaborate attempt to repeat the success of the first movie; it’s not just a ripoff. Even so, it lacks some of the pleasures of “Romancing,” especially the development of the romance between Douglas and Turner.

He went on to praise the mechanism of his favorite scene in a rat pit*  

I couldn't find that scene in this draft, but found a similar one in which the emotional and physical beats fall like clockwork (below):
- Joan, Jack, and the Jewel have arrived at a village.
- The Chief will let them pass if they pay the $1M toll.
- Pay attention to the rhythm of the scene.
- Notice the hope-fear-hope-fear pattern winds up the tension.

EXT. NUBIAN VILLAGE

...The CHIEF talks aside with the Jewel.

JEWEL: You don't have to pay it. ... Instead he will take Joan for one hour. [Fear. Emotional stakes are high here.]

Jack stops dancing. Looks at Joan.

JOAN: He's kidding. [Hope. She tries to dispel the fear.]

JEWEL: Just one hour. [Fear.]

JACK (teasing): Well Joan, now you can do something serious. Something that really matters. (to the Chief) Go ahead. 

The NUBIANS laugh as Jack offers the CHIEF Joan's hand. All one big joke. Until the CHIEF starts pulling her into his hut.

JACK: OK...fun's fun...hey, that's it. [Fear.]

Now Jack grabs the CHIEF. Wrong move. He's immediately seized by six young toughs. Joan becomes scared. The Chief talks roughly.

JEWEL (translating): He wants to know if you are married? [Emotional stakes.]

JOAN: No.

JEWEL (translating): Any babies? [Higher emotional stakes.]

JACK: No. ...look, what's the difference?

The CHIEF now pushes Jack in the chest. [Physical move that raises stakes.]

JEWEL: Then decide. Either he takes Joan for an hour...

JACK: Or...?

JEWEL: You will lose your leg.  [Fear.]

A terribly OBESE NUBIAN steps forward with a broad AXE on a long handle. The other young toughs stretch out one of Jack's legs. Tension is unbearable. They realize the CHIEF is serious.

JOAN: Jack...I ...I have to. [Rising emotional stakes.]

JACK (straining against their holds): NO!! I forbid you.

JOAN: You can't.

JACK (screams for all he's worth):  NOOOO!!! [Highest tension, stakes.]

The CHIEF looks at Joan.  A wave of his hand and the OBESE NUBIAN raises his axe. Joan turns to the CHIEF. Touches her chest.

JOAN: Yes. Now. 

JACK (half-crazed) Cut the leg. (at the Chief) DAMN IT! CUT OFF MY GODDAMNED LEG!! [FEAR! PEAK OF FEAR!]

JEWEL: That is your decisions?

JACK (really scared): Yes...

JOAN: Jack...

ON THE AXE

High in the air. A beat, then down it comes. BAM! Into the dirt next to Jack. A great CHEER goes up among the Nubians. They start to dance in simple, sweet ecstacy.

JACK - BEING BEAR-HUGGED BY THE CHIEF

ready to faint, looks to Joan, then to the Jewel.

JEWEL (translating): We are free to go no.   ... The Nubians are hopeless romantics. Some tribes enjoy tests of strength. ...They like to test love. [Funny release of tension.]

JACK AND JOAN 

are hoisted on shoulders and carried around the village.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to escalating stakes is the pendulum of emotions swinging from hope to fear.  Don't be afraid to swing widely.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)(1st draft)
by Mark Rosenthal & Lawrence Konner

* Ebert wrote: 

...My favorite moment between them comes as they hang by their hands over a rat pit, while acid gnaws away at the ropes that suspend them above certain doom. Sure, this scene owes something to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” But what’s new about it this time is the dialogue – the way they break down and confess that they love each other, and make marriage plans as death inexorably approaches. And then, when DeVito appears and might possibly save them, there is some business with a ladder that is followed by dialogue so perfectly timed that I laughed not so much in amusement as in delight at how well the mechanisms of the scene fell together. (my underline)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Ask the Dust (2006) - How Robert Towne Makes Two Lovers Dueling in a Room Work

[Quick Summary: In 1933 Los Angeles, a down-on-his-luck author is struggling to write his second novel, and meets a girl.]

I've not mastered how to write an entire script only with two characters in a room.

Frankly, I run out of things to write about, and then rely too much on distractions like guns, car chases, explosions, etc.  

However, writer Robert Towne* seems to thrive - even specialize - in the dynamic between characters.  He makes it look so easy that I forget we've hardly moved. 

What does he do that's so special?  I think it's the way he makes the interior life seen.  Motives and desires spit and crackle. I can't turn pages fast enough.

For example, in the scene below:
- The protagonist Bandini is a starving writer. He has one last nickel.
- He enters the coffee shop to buy one last coffee with cream.
- The waitress gives him curdled milk which ruins his coffee.
- He's insulted until he sees her shabby shoes, which don't match her uniform.
- He starts to laugh at her, silently. She sneers at him.
- What comes next? His surprising actions are shocking...then mocking.
- I was impressed at the creativity to express outwardly whatever was inside of Bandini. Towne likely had to make things up, since the novel is in the first person.
- Also, I was impressed at Towne's ability to capture the chemistry, the fine line of passion and hate between the characters. It's the uncertainty that's captivating. 

INT. COLUMBIA BUFFET

...BANDINI: Maybe you don't know any better. Maybe you're just naturally careless. But if I were you I wouldn't be seen in a Main Street alley in those huaraches.

Bandini spits this last word out himself.

THE WAITRESS

stands trembling under the starched stiffness of her smock, her fists writhing in her pockets.

WAITRESS: I hope you die of heart failure. Right there in that chair.

Bandini tries to laugh, but it's hollow The waitress' dark eyes are flashing once more. She waltzes away and stands in front of the bar again, looking insolently back at Bandini.

BANDINI

the smile still on his face, grows red and sweaty. He tugs at his tie, trying to loosen it, but it won't loosen He grows more frantic, desperately pulling at it like it's a noose strangling him Then, utterly without warning he clutches his chest, and collapses, his head smacking the tabletop. The thick sludge in the coffee cup shakes like jello.

THE WAITRESS

is appalled. The bartender looks accusingly at her. She mutters something in Spanish and hurries back over to the table, frantic.

WAITRESS: --it wasn't my fault, I didn't do nothing I swear to God, I just asked him if he wanted more coffee, young fellow, you there, say something, please!..

She's now trembling with terror and guilt. Bandini's not moving. Then slowly he rises to a sitting position. The sneer is back on his face.

BANDINI: You can dish it out, but you can't take it, can you?

He points to the nickel on the table top.

BANDINI: You want the nickel?

He overturns the coffee cup on it. The brown sludge spreads across the table and starts to trickle onto the floor.

BANDINI: Then mop it up.

He rises insolently out of the chair, and walks to the door. There he turns and gives the waitress a salute of farewell.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Here, Towne makes the characters' inner life visible.  Bandini and the waitress liked each other, but were covering up shame and embarrassment with cutting hostility. 

How did Towne craft the scene? He created a situation where they have to intersect. It helps that each character stands in the way of the other's goal.

ex.  Bandini interrupts her job. She ruins his enjoyment of his last morsel of sustenance.

Ask the Dust (2006)(3/30/93 draft)
Directed and written by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by John Fante

*Towne was known mostly as a writer, but also directed about four other films.  Towne wrote and directed this film, which was also his last film.

** EXTRA: I hope these words from Mr. Hackmuth, Bandini's editor, will encourage you, as they did to me: 

HACKMUTH'S V.O.: --p.s. As to your anxieties about your limited experience with life in general and women in particular, it is alas, a truism that author's generally have less experiences than other men, this owing to the incontestable fact that you simply can't be in two places at once, Mr. Bandini. Either you're in front of the typewriter writing or you're out in the world having experiences. Therefore since you need to write and you need to have experiences to write about - you have to learn to do more with less. And doing more with less is, in a word, Mr. Bandini what writing is all about -

TODAY'S NUGGET: In the Mood (1987) - I Was Swept Away By His Chivalrous Goofiness

[Quick Summary: A 14 y.o. goofy romantic makes headlines when he whisks two different women (20s, married) off on grand adventures.]

Who'd fall for the story of a 14 y.o. chivalrous romantic? As it turns out, I did.

Based on a true 1940s story, I was surprised how darned charming I found Sonny. 

How does this character upend expectations? I think it's because:
1) the script specifically says, "he's goofy," and
2) he's so earnest, sweet, not calculated.

He makes this coming-of-age story interesting to watch because of his off-beat, odd point of view, but I don't blame you if you said you'd have to see it to believe it.

So here's a scene that shows there's still romance in the world:
- Judy, 20, is a married neighbor with a new baby.
- She is a lonely housewife and disconnected with her older husband. 
- Sonny has just arrived at 11 for 12pm party at Judy's house.
- Notice that Sonny is a fun-loving, empathetic, colorful character, but is not exactly a Casanova. It is his empathy for Judy that is attractive, but will trip him up.

INT. JUDY'S HOUSE - DAY

,,,JUDY: Sonny?

SONNY: Yes?

JUDY: Do you want to...kiss or something?

Sonny thinks for a second and then looks at his watch.

SONNY: 11:02...Alright.

Their lips meet. It's a long but chaste kiss, just lips pressed moderately against lips; no tongue, no moaning, no groping. After a little while they begin to look like statuary. When they stop, Sonny falls back against the rear of the couch, glassy-eyed and gasping for breath.

JUDY: Oh stop, I'm not that good a kisser.

SONNY (choking): ...swallowed my gum...

She jumps to the rescue by pounding him on his back until he holds up a hand and nods his head in a gesture of "Okay, that's enough." He takes an unobstructed swallow, checks his watch, and dives back in to kissing.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Sonny is memorable simply because his combination of chivalrous and goofy fun has to been seen to be believed. 

In the Mood (also known as "The Woo-Woo Boy") (1987)(2nd draft, 12/20/85)
by Phil Alden Robinson
Based on the true story of Ellsworth "Sonny" Wisecarver

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Hi-Lo Country (1998) - Romantic Triangles for Tension & Suspense; Excellent Dangerous Female Role

[Quick Summary: Pete, a ranch hand, is in love with the married Mona from afar, but still looks out for his best friend Big Boy, who is actually seeing her behind her husband's back.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) RISING TENSION & SUSPENSE. Writer Walon Green has a real talent for keeping tension and suspense mounting for the whole script.

First, there's two romantic triangles (Big Boy, Mona, husband; Big Boy, Mona, Pete).  

Then he sticks Pete with conflicting motives. He has a crush on Mona, which Big Boy doesn't know about, and his loyal friend Big Boy is unwilling to give up Mona.  

2)  DANGEROUS FEMALE ROLE. It was a treat to see that Mona is equally culpable for the situation.  She is beyond caring, and thus, she is dangerous.

In the scene below, note how COMMITTED each character is to their motives.  Because of this, the conflict will be unavoidable, thus raising the tension/suspense.

EXT. HI LO - DAY

Pete stands on the sidewalk, leaning against a building near his truck. He glances at his watch. He seems anxious waiting for someone -- Mona.

                                                                             CUT TO:

INT. HI LO CAFE - DAY

Pete sits at a window table, eating a sandwich. Glancing out he sees --

POV PETE

Mona's car goes past.

RESUME PETE

 He gets up and drops some money on the table.

EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

 Pete exits and reacts as he sees --

POV PETE

Mona gets out of her car and Les gets out the passenger side. After a few words, they head in different directions.

Mona walks along the side walk. Her thin summer cotton dress clinging to her body and her bare legs.

INT. A SMALL MARKET - DAY

Mona browses picking vegetables from a counter. Suddenly, Pete is at her side. He takes her arm and moves her through the door into the back room.

INT. MARKET STORAGE ROOM - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Pete releases Mona. She looks at him, annoyed.

MONA: That wasn't very smart.

PETE: Let's not argue about who's bein' smart these days.

Mona says nothing, she knows what's coming.

PETE (continuing): You got to break it off with him. You'll get him killed.

MONA: Now suddenly you're the concerned best friend.

PETE: You're damn right I am.

MONA: Pete, I know what you really are and so do you. I've seen you look at me when I'm with him. I know what eats at you, and it's not concern for your best friend.

Pete has the urge to hit her for striking the chord of horrible truth.

MONA (continuing): I've been bored all my life except for right now.

Mona turns and walks calmly out of the store room.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised at how much Mona's unswerving commitment to her own interests raised the tension for me.

The Hi-Low Country (1998)(1st draft, 8/16/96)
by Walon Green
Based on the novel by Max Evans

2024 OSCARS: Past Lives (2023) - Voice Over in a Setup for Later Payoff

[Quick Summary: Nora, who left S. Korea as a child, reconnects twenty years later with Hae Sung, her childhood friend.]

I loved this script because it evoked such poignant emotions of love lost and found.

In several interviews, the writer/playwright Celine Song, mentioned that this is also about the characters' younger selves getting to say the goodbye that they hadn't had.

I liked how she set up that goodbye payoff with an earlier setup, in the scene below.

We can see that the two characters still have an unresolved connection because the voice over bridges them, despite the distance of space and time:

EXT. BARN HOUSE PICNIC TABLE - NIGHT - SOMETIME THAT SUMMER

The artists are all a little tipsy with empty bottles of wine and beer -- the evidence of a good night out --splayed out all over the table.

They listen to slightly-drunk Nora with varying degrees of interest:

NORA: There is a word in Korean: In-Yun. It means providence or fate, about it's specifically about relationships between people.

Nora's voice over plays out over the following silent scenes of Hae Sung in Shanghai:

INT. PLANE TO SHANGHAI - MORNING

Hae Sung is on a flight to Shanghai.

NORA (V.O.): I think it comes from Buddhism and reincarnation.

INT. SHANGHAI DORM ROOM - DUSK

Hae Sung is sleeping in his new dorm room. It is small and crappy, but the view of Shanghai is magnificent. 

On the bed is an information package about his language exchange program in both Korean and Mandarin with things like class schedule and local restaurant recommendations.

NORA (V.O.): It's an In-Yun if two strangers even walk by each other in the street and their clothes accidentally brush -  

EXT. SHANGHAI NIGHT MARKET - NIGHT

Hae Sung and the other language exchange students walk around the fish market on a group outing. Steam emanates from the food stalls, and it is full of late-night lovers.

It smells pungent and looks gorgeous.

There is a very cute GIRL (Korean, fellow language exchange student, 20) in the group who keeps glancing at Hae Sung.

Hae Sung doesn't notice.

Hae Sung lights up a cigarette, and offers one to his fellow students, who eagerly grab one from the pack.

NORA (V.O.): - because it means there must have been something between them in their past lives.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the voice over bridges the characters and keeps them emotionally connected, and is not merely an information dump.

Past Lives (2023)(undated)
by Celine Song

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Horseman on the Roof (1996) - One of THE Most Romantic Lines of Dialogue

[Quick Summary: During the chaos of a cholera epidemic, a heroic Italian officer hiding in France offers to help a young wife find her husband.]

Is romance dead?*  The scripts have been scarce.

However, this script restored my faith with one of the most romantic lines of dialogue I've ever read.  

First, I have to give credit to the story which leads up to that moment.  There are a few elements that really work well together:
- Angelo, the hero, is honest, brave, and trustworthy.
- He's attracted to mysterious Pauline, who barrels about, looking for information.
- There are real stakes and conflict that builds and builds the tension.
- The drama is heightened by the situation, i.e., in the middle of a cholera epidemic.

Second, this line of dialogue comes at the end of a great build up (last 1/3 of script):
- Pauline is jailed and Angelo gets inside the prison to rescue her. 
- For the entire script, he's been delaying getting back home to help her.
- He continued to help her, even after finding out she's been looking for information about her husband.
- Also, notice the transition out of this very romantic moment. It reminds us that despite this very important moment in their lives, life goes on.

INT./EXT./ TOWER WINDOW; VAUMEILH - DAY

PAULINE: I came over here a little while ago, before you arrived. I looked down...I thought that it would be so easy to die, so swift, just a second or two, you just let yourself go...

ANGELO: Stop that!

PAULINE: There's nothing we can do, you know it as well as I do. The illness is out there, everywhere. I'm not even afraid of it anymore. Maybe it's already in us.

ANGELO: That's not true!

She sits on the stone ledge inside the opening.

PAULINE: What I see, what I do, nothing makes me want to live...

ANGELO (sitting beside her): Go and rest some. Go sleep.

PAULINE (looking up at him): Aren't you ever hesitant, or flustered?...Are you always sure of what to do?

ANGELO: I think it over and do the best I can.

PAULINE: It's as though the illness were your battlefield.

ANGLEO: You could say that.

PAULINE: Why are you always following me?

A beat.

ANGELO: Because I don't feel lonely when I'm with you. [My emphasis. This is an elegant expression of what all of us seek: someone putting us above them, and wanting that connection, togetherness. Also: note what happens after this important line.]

PAULINE: I don't even know your name. [This is a reminder that they hardly know each other. It makes everything previous to it more romantic because he did this for her, not her status.]

ANGELO: Pardi. Angelo Pardi.

PAULINE: My name's Pauline.

Just then, the drape is pulled back REVEALING the HANDSOME MAN who looks like a horse dealer, his notebook in hand.  [Notice how the writers pull us back to the present. Romance does not happen in a vacuum. Life goes on.]

HANDSOME MAN: I beg your pardon, colonel, and I hate to disturb you thus...I'm Alexandre Petit, dealer in seed and feed! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked how the peak of this romance happened in the middle of normal life, and not in a vacuum. It felt even more real. 

Also, I was swept away by the couple's aching and longing, which I think the writer Jean-Claude Carriere writes very well.

The Horseman on the Roof (1996)(10/20/93 draft)
by Jean-Paul Rappeneau and Nina Companeez & Jean-Claude Carriere
Based on the novel by Jean Giono

* Also, I wonder if the lack of good romantic stories is the reason Gen Z is valuing friendships over romance: "An inability to find quality romantic relationships could be one reason Gen Zers want more friendships, or commitment-free romantic relationships."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Love's Labour Lost (2000) - "[Love] Kills Sheep" Sight Gag in Shakespeare

[Quick Summary: This is a musical adaption of a Shakespeare play, set in the 1930s, in which four friends swear off love.]  

BAD NEWS:

I admire Kenneth Branagh's attempt to do something new by adding dance and musical numbers to a lesser known Shakespearean play, but I didn't believe it.

Roger Ebert writes about a few problems:

"Love's Labour's Lost" is hardly ever performed on the stage and has never been previous filmed, and there is a reason for that: It's not about anything. In its original form, instead of the songs and dances we have dialogue that's like an idle exercise in easy banter for Shakespeare. (my underline)

As a result: 

It's like a warm-up for the real thing. It makes not the slightest difference which boy gets which girl, or why, and by starting the action in 1939 and providing World War II as a backdrop, Branagh has not enriched either the play or the war, but fit them together with an awkward join....Like cotton candy, it's better as a concept than as an experience.

GOOD NEWS:

1) I did like the updated use for the homonym (1 word, 2 meanings) for "Ajax", then used to reference a tragic Trojan War figure, and now for a cleanser.

2) Branagh furthers the turn of phrase with an actual sight gag: the cleanser, i.e., love, has killed the sheep! This visual is a funny, clever way to show a metaphor.

INT. LIBRARY -- DAY

BEROWNE prowls the circular gallery.  He passes books which he ignores and cleaning materials, which he does not. Next to an abandoned servant's broom there is a well known brand of bleach. This inspires him.

BEROWNE: By the Lord, this love is as mad as Ajax,

He glances out the window. A sheep grazes in the park. After a moment it falls over unconscious.

BEROWNE: It kills sheep!

But in this state, any form of madness is understandable.

BEROWNE (CONT'D): It kills me, I a sheep! I will not love. If I do, hang me; I'faith, I will not.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I particularly like this sight gag because it works for those who understand the literal level (cleanser kills sheep), but also those who get the humor of the deeper level (those who know historical Ajax + the cleanser).

Love's Labour Lost (2000)
by Kenneth Branagh and William Shakespeare

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Way We Were (1973) - When You Need to Beef Up the Guy's Part; Pollack's 1st Rule in a Love Story

[Quick Summary: After WWII, an idealistic political activist and a super-popular society guy try to navigate being a couple despite their opposite temperaments.]

TWO THOUGHTS :

1) BEING REWRITTEN.  This was the situation here:

- Writer Arthur Laurents wrote the role of Katie for Barbra Streisand.
- According to director Sydney Pollack (here), Laurents was so committed to Katie's story that the love interest, Hubbell, was not as strong a character.
- Thus, Robert Redford wouldn't sign on.  Streisand wrote about it (here): 

Bob was concerned that the script was so focused on Katie that Hubbell's character was underdeveloped. (He was right.) Bob asked Sydney, 'Who is this guy? He's just an object...He doesn't want anything. What does this guy want?' In Bob's opinion, he was 'shallow and one dimensional. Not very real.' ' A pin-up girl in revers,' as Sydney put it."

[She told Pollack], "Give him anything he wants."

Write more scenes to strengthen his character. Make it equal....So Sydney hired two excellent writers, David Rayfiel and Alvin Sargent, to beef up Bob's part and go deeper, beneath that golden-boy exterior. And I told Ray to pay him whatever he wanted. But Bob's answer was still no. I was heartbroken.

In other words, it's sometimes necessary to get another (more objective) writer(s).

2) POLLACK'S FIRST RULE IN A LOVE STORY.  All the above goes to why the original draft didn't work.  Pollack put it well (here):

Never make one character attractive at the expense of the other. You have to bring the character up but not at a partner's expense.

Note in this re-written scene below:
- This is a more balanced meeting of equals, who both upend expectations.
- Katie and Hubbell were in a college writing class together.
- She wanted to be a writer, but isn't as good as he was. Writing comes easily to him, but he can't share it with his friends.
- This was a chance meeting at an outdoor restaurand their first real conversation.

MED. SHOT - KATIE

She makes for the curb, trying to sneak off into the darkness. But softly comes:

HUBBELL'S VOICE: Have a beer?

FULL SHOT - KATIE AND HUBBELL

She stops dead and turns to him. He grins.

HUBBELL (continuing): It's a celebration.

KATIE: Team team team.

HUBBELL: Wrong.

KATIE: Your crew won.

HUBBELL: Oh well, we always win. That's easy.

KATIE: That's right, everything's easy, I forgot. (pause) Listen, I'm sorry but I've...well, I've let the months slide by without telling I...I really loved your story. You're a good writer and...

HUBBELL: Thanks, Katie.

KATIE: ...I'll see ya. I've got to get to work.

She starts off.

HUBBELL: Hey, Katie? I sold one.

KATIE (turning): Huh?

HUBBELL: I sold a story.

KATIE (softly): Jesus. Oh boy, Hubbell. Congratulations.

Hubbell holds out a stein of beer.

HUBBELL: Drink.

She hesitates. Then takes it, holds it up.

KATIE: To your first novel.

HUBBELL: Hey. Not so fast.

KATIE: Why not!

HUBBELL: Okay. Why not. You say so. 

KATIE: I say so.

They clink steins and drink. Then he looks at her. They smile.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'd never considered "bringing a character up" to the level of the other character in a love story.

This is especially eye-opening in light of the several crossed out, rewritten pages in this draft, where the Hubbell role is not as well written as Katie's role.

The Way We Were (1973)(A.S. draft, 7/21/23)
by Arthur Laurents, Alvin Sargent(uncredited)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Ninotchka (1939) - Breaking Up a Couple with "The Lubitsch Touch"

[Quick Summary: When a Russian bureaucrat goes to Paris to sell seized jewels, she falls for a guy who represents all she stands against.]

I first encountered German director Ernst Lubitsch in a story about writer-director Billy Wilder posting a sign in his office, "What would Lubitsch do?"

Who was this revered director? And what exactly was his famous "Lubitsch touch"?

After reading this quote by Samson Raphaelson (who wrote 9 films with Lubitsch), I think this "touch" is more about his approach:

 ...I never caught Lubitsch ever thinking in terms of a formula; that is, he wouldn't say, "How can ve use a door in this scene?"...He would face the problem and say, "Vat do ve do here? How do ve lick dis? How do ve say it vit style? How do ve say it different? How do ve say it different and good? Different and true?" but he was also one of the few great practitioners who was not a victim of his own inventions and of his own style. In The Smiling Lieutenant, for instance, he used a minimum of dialogue and only at the high moments - this was soon after talking pictures came in, still using the rich resources of silent invention, so that the dialogue would become the cream, the peak of a scene. (my underlines)

Today's script is one of Lubitsch's top 3 favorites and most often cited.  

It is a prime example of: 1) doing a breakup differently; and 2) holding off on dialogue until the high point.

In the scene below:
- Ninotchka has come to Paris to sell the jewels of the former Grand Duchess Swana, who now resides in exile in Paris.
- Ninotchka falls for Leon.
- Swana is Leon's ex-girlfriend and is suing for her jewels back. 
- Meanwhile, someone stole the jewels back for Swana.
- After Swana bleakly states the reality of the situation, notice how this breakup is different.  Ninotchka and Leon are matter-of-fact and holding back emotions.
- I love how previously Ninotchka would not drink champagne nor ask for a funny story, and now she does, i.e., she's changed.
- The dialogue peaks when Leon expresses he will never be the same (see below):

INTERIOR, SMART NIGHT CLUB

...SWANA (rubbing it in): It is unfortunate that you have so few more days in Paris. (she turns to Leon) Be sure and redouble your efforts so that madame can take some pleasant memories when she returns to Moscow. (she rises, Leon rising too) Good night. (Ninotchka nods without answering. To Leon) Good night, Leon.

LEON (coldly): Good night, Swana.

Swana leaves the table. Leon sits again. The mood of the two has been changed by the problem of their separation, which has been brought before them. They sit in silence for a moment. Ninotchka speaks first. 

NINOTCHKA: Now I think I need a glass of champagne. 

Leon fills their glasses. They drink. Then Leon takes Ninotchka's hand.

NINOTCHKA (trying to break the mood): Quickly, please...tell me one of your funny stories.

LEON: A funny story?

NINOTCHKA: You never finished the one about the two Scotchmen with the names.

LEON: Well, there were two Scotchmen. One was named McIntosh and one was named McGillicuddy. They met on the street.

He stops.

NINOTCHKA: Go on.

LEON: No, darling. I'll tell you another story, a much better one. (with deep sincerity) The only thing that will be over on Thursday is the lawsuit. There will be no Thursday for us. Not next week or any week. We won't let it happen. I'll tear it out of the calendar. Is that a good story? ["Tear the calendar out" is a beautiful image. What a different way to say he'll never forget her.]

NINOTCHKA (touched): Wonderful -- if one could believe it.

LEON: You must, darling.

NINOTCHKA (lifting her glass): To the loveliest story I ever heard.

They drink. The orchestra starts a number.

NINOTCHKA (afraid of where the conversation may lead): Shall we dance?

They both start toward the dance floor.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This breakup is so poignant because it's got deep emotional truth that's so graceful, elegant, and amusing too.

The more I read about Lubitsch's work ethic, the more I realize that "how do we say it different?" takes a whole hell of a lot of work.

Ninotchka (1939)(shooting draft)
by Charles Brackett & Billy Wilder and Walter Reisch
Based on the original story by Melchior Lengyel

TODAY'S NUGGET: Love in the Afternoon (1957) - If You're Having Trouble Writing a Romantic Chemistry, It Starts With...

[Quick Summary: The daughter of a detective falls for the playboy that her father is shadowing.]

Q: When creating romantic chemistry, "start with the status quo,"* right?
A; Yes.  It is "what is missing" from the protagonist's life. 

Q: So "what is missing" = the antagonist. 
A: Not exactly.  

Q: Ok, if it's not "getting the guy," then what is it?
A: It is what the protagonist is missing emotionally, which the antagonist may point out or helps her realize. 

Q: What does status quo look like on the page?
A: There's a good example in today's script. 

The writers took their time laying out Ariane's inner and out life.**  She's curious, smart, but feels excluded.

So when she and the playboy hit it off later, we understand why she's so taken by him.  She's included in on a grand adventure, which fills that emotional need.

In this scene from the first ten minutes: 
- We see that Ariane yearns for adventure, love. She is lonely.
- We want to root for her.  She's considerate about her Papa, persistent, curious.
- Note also how humor is used to establish the fun tone, especially Ariane's parting line.

THE OFFICE

Ariane puts the cello aside, gets up, comes into the office. Chavasse has opened the briefcase, and taken out the camera.

ARIANE: I'm worried about you, Papa. You've been working every night.

CHAVASSE: It's my busiest season.

ARIANE: You need a rest, Papa.

CHAVASSE: Thank you, darling, but in my profession -- it's like being a doctor. I have to be on call night and day. A good doctor can never rest -- not until the patient is out of bed.

ARIANE: I never thought of it that way.

CHAVASSE:You shouldn't think of it at all!

ARIANE: Sorry, Papa.

CHAVASSE: How are things at the Conservatory?

ARIANE: So-so. We're rehearsing.

CHAVASSE: Rehearsing what?

ARIANE: A symphony. Haydn's 88th. You see -- I always tell you what I'm doing. But you never tell me what you're doing.

CHAVASSE: That's because I love you. And because I want to protect you from these sordid matters I have to deal with. Now go back to your cello.

ARIANE: Yes, Papa. Wouldn't you like some breakfast?

CHAVASSE: Later. I have some work to do in the darkroom. I'm expecting a client.

He has taken the roll of film out of the camera, now crosses to the door of the darkroom, opens it.

ARIANE: When Mama was alive, I'm sure you discussed your work with her.

CHAVASSE: Your Mama was a married woman.

ARIANE (with affection): I'm so glad.

She goes back to her room.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I often worry about taking too long to establish the status quo.  However, this script showed me I should take my time for a great pay off later.

Love in the Afternoon (1957)
by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond
Based on the novel by Claude Anet

*For more explanation and examples, see Ch. 7 "Structuring Conflict" in Writing the Romantic Comedy (2020, 20th anniversary edition), by Billy Mernit (here).

**I found it interesting to see that it took the writers 36 PAGES before the girl and guy meet in person! Though to be fair, she learns about his situation through her dad and sees his photo early on.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Licence to Kill (1988) - When a "Romantic" Scene Lacks Believeability

[Quick Summary: When a drug lord kills the bride and maims the groom (Leiter), groomsman Bond goes on an unsanctioned hunt for the villain.]

Pam, a CIA contract pilot and one of Leiter's informants, was to meet him at a bar. After Leiter is wounded, Bond decides to meet with her instead.   

There's a shootout at the bar with drug lord's henchmen. Pam and Bond escape onto a cigarette boat (scene below).

So what is this scene about? A business deal.  Even grudging admiration.

But ROMANCE? PASSION? Any HEAT whatsoever? Certainly not enough to justify twinkle in eye --> kiss --> kiss --> "presses her passionately" at the end.

There's no baiting of the hook, and tug of the line.  Where's the fun if it's all one sided, no back-and-forth? How can I buy the romance if there's no chemistry?

INT. CIGARETTE COCKPIT  PAM AND BOND

at the controls, working them  he looks at dials.

INSERT GAS GAUGES

indicate empty.

BOND

He looks toward the shore, still irate.

BOND: They must have hit a fuel line.

PAM steps up next to him.

PAM: Out of gas? I haven't heard that one in a long time.
BOND (calming down): Take us a couple of hours to drift in. Look, I'm going to need your help. I want a complete rundown on Sanchez' operation...and a private charter to Isthmus City. No one must know I've left.

She looks at him steadily.

PAM: What do you want to go there for?
BOND: I'll pay you very well.
PAM: You're going after Sanchez, aren't you?
BOND: Will you help me?
PAM: How many men you got?
BOND: Just you and me.
PAM (a disbelieving laugh): You crazy? Sanchez has a whole army protecting him down there.
BOND: Then just drop me there and leave. Fifty thousand.

She steps between Bond and the dashboard of the boat. The wind blows her hair. She looks up at him, a twinkle in her eye.

PAM (ticking off on her fingers): It's not that easy. A false flight plan. I'll have to pay-off people at Isthmus City Airport...A job like that is going to cost at least a Hundred.
BOND: Alright. Sixty.
PAM: Ninety.
BOND: Seventy.
PAM: Eighty.
BOND: Seventy-five.
PAM: You pay the fuel?
BOND: We use your plane.
PAM: Deal.

She reaches up and kisses him fully on the lips to seal the bargain. They part.

BOND: Why don't you want 'til you're asked?
PAM: Why don't you ask me.

She kisses him again. He presses her passionately back against the wheel.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In fly fishing circles, there's a saying, "The tug is the drug."  

In this scene, the fisherman doesn't even have to cast a line out. Fish are throwing themselves into the boat. This is NOT romantic.

Licence to Kill (1988)(final draft)
by Michael G. Wilson and Richard Maibaum

TODAY'S NUGGET: Charade (1963) - Balancing Genre Tones (Mystery, Romcom); Earning the Kiss Takes TIME

[Quick Summary: After her husband steals a fortune from five thieves, a widow falls for one of the men pursuing her.]

If nailing the tone in a romantic comedies is tricky, it's exponentially harder when mixing in another genre.  How does one balance them??

Let's look at this script, which is:
- a mystery (puzzle)
- with the spine of a rom-com (two people become a couple). 

I think these two things keep this script balanced: 

1) The essential question for a romcom is, "What is keeping the couple apart?"
- Here, it is the mystery of the location of the stolen money.
- Also, the subtext to this mystery is motive, "What does she/he want?".
- HER: Does he want me, or the money?
- HIM: Is she more important to me, or the money?

2) MORE TIME THAN YOU THINK. For a kiss to feel earned, there needs to be a closeness, a shared vulnerability. It's not a secret this only happens with time. 

The scene belong is long, but shows how balance works:
- Note the tone never falls to ALL mystery or ALL romcom.
- They're talking about the mystery, but the subtext is "me or the money."
- After they've revealed vulnerabilities, she feels secure enough for a kiss.
- Note: He lied to her, saying he was the brother of one of the thieves (Dyle).

EXT. SEINE - BATEAU MOUCHE -- DUSK

... DYLE: Are you trying to say that I might have killed Charles and Scobie?

She doesn't answer.

DYLE: What do I have to do to satisfy you -- become the next victim?
REGGIE: It's a start, anyway.
DYLE: I don't understand you at all -- one minute you're chasing me around the shower room and the next you're accusing me of murder.
REGGIE: Carson Dyle didn't have a brother.

WIDER ANGLE

She rises from the table and walks away. DYLE hesitates a moment, then follows.

DYLE: I can explain if you'll just listen. Will you listen? [He begins to open up.]
REGGIE (looking at river): I can't very well leave without a pair of water wings.
DYLE: Okay. Then get set for the story of my life -- not that it would ever make the best-seller list.
REGGIE: Fiction or non-fiction?
DYLE: Why don't you shut up!
REGGIE: Well!
DYLE: Are you going to listen?
REGGIE: Go on.
DYLE: After I graduated college I was all set to go into my father business. Umbrella frames -- that's what he made. It was a sensible business, I suppose, but I didn't have the sense to be interested in anything sensible. [He's sharing his story, but it may be a lie.]
REGGIE: I suppose all this is leading somewhere?
DYLE: It led me away from umbrella frames, for one thing. But that left me without any honest means of support.
REGGIE: What do you mean?
DYLE: When a man has no profession except the one he loathes, what's left? I began looking for people with more money than they'd ever need -- including some they'd barely miss.
REGGIE: (astonished): You mean, you're a thief?
DYLE: Well, it isn't exactly the term I'd have chosen, but I suppose it captures the spirit of the thing.
REGGIE: I don't believe it.
DYLE: Well, I can't really blame you -- not now.
REGGIE: But I do believe it -- that's what I don't believe. So it's goodbye Alexander Dye -- Welcome home Peter Joshua. [She allows herself to believe.]
DYLE: Sorry, the name's Adam Canfield.
REGGIE: Adam Canfield. Wonderful. Do you realize you've had three names in the past two days? I don't even know who I'm talking to any more.
DYLE (now called ADAM): The man's the same, even if the name isn't.
REGGIE: No -- he's not the same. Alexander Dyle was interested in clearing up his brother's death. Adam Canfied is a crook. And with all the advantages you've got -- brains, charm, education, a handsome face --  [She admits to feelings.]
ADAM: Oh, come on!
REGGIE: -- there has to be a darn good reason for living the way you do. I want to know what it is.
ADAM: It's simple. I like what I do -- I enjoy doing it. There aren't many men who love their work as much as I do. Look around some time.
REGGIE: Is there a Mrs. Canfield?
ADAM: Yes, but --
ADAM REGGIE (together): -- we're divorced.  [More personal revelations.]
ADAM: Right. Now go eat your dinner.

ANOTHER ANGLE

They walk back to the table, where a WAITER is busy putting food on it, mostly on REGGIE's side.

REGGIE (miserably): I could eat a horse.
ADAM (looking at all the food): I think that's what you ordered.
REGGIE: Don't you dare to be civil with me! All this time you were leading me on --
ADAM: How was I leading you on?
REGGIE: All that marvelous rejection -- you know I couldn't resist it. Now it turns out you were only interested in the money.  [She admits he got to her.]
ADAM: That's right.
REGGIE (HURT): Oh!  [Her vulnerable moment.]
ADAM: What would you like me to say -- that a pretty girl with an outrageous manner means more to an old pro like me than a quarter of a million dollars? [His vulnerable moment.]
REGGIE: No -- I guess not.
ADAM: It's a toss-up, I can tell you that.
REGGIE: What?
ADAM: Don't you know I'm having a tough time keeping my eyes off of you? [Vulnerable moment.]

REGGIE reacts in surprise.

ADAM: Oh, you should see your face.  [Moment of shared humor.]
REGGIE: What about it?
ADAM (taking her hand, nicely): It's lovely. [Sincere compliment.]

She looks at him with happy amazement, then pushes her plate away.

ADAM: What's the matter?
REGGIE: I'm not hungry -- isn't it glorious? [She is finally secure.]

The lights go out.

REGGIE (alarmed): Adam!
ADAM: It's all right -- look.

EXT. SEINE BATEAU MOUCHE - NIGHT

A searchlight near the boat's bridge has gone on and now begins sweeping the river banks. On benches by the water's edge, lovers are surprised by the bright light which suddenly and without warning discovers them in various attitudes of mutual affection. Some are embarrassed, some are amused and some (the most intimate) damn annoyed. One even shakes his fist at the light.

MED. SHOT -- REGGIE AND ADAM

Who, like everyone else, leave the table and stand together at the rail watching.

REGGIE: You don't look so bad in this light.
ADAM: Why do you think I brought you here?
REGGIE (indicating the lovers): I thought maybe you wanted me to see the kind of work the competition was turning out.
ADAM: Pretty good, huh? I taught them everything they do.
REGGIE: Oh? Did they do that sort of thing way back in your day?
ADAM: How do you think I got here?

She rises on tip-toes and kisses him gently; his only reaction is to look at her.  [She makes the first move!]

REGGIE: Aren't you allowed to kiss back?
ADAM: No. The doctor said it would be bad for my -- thermostat.

She kisses him again. He responds a little better.

ADAM: When you come on, you really come on.
REGGIE: Well -- come on.

She starts to kiss him again, but he stops her.

REGGIE: I know why you're not taken -- no one can catch up with you.
ADAM: Relax -- you're gaining.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: 1) Put the mystery between the lovers; 2) An excellent subtext of a mystery is "me or the money." 3) Truthful intimacy will take time on the page.

Charade (1963)(10/1/62 draft)
by Peter Stone
Based on a story by Peter Stone and Marc Behm

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Seven Year Itch (1955) - Using a Dream Bubble to Refute an Argument + Show Wish Fulfillment

[Quick Summary: After his family goes away for the summer, a book publisher with an overactive imagination is left in NYC with a new gorgeous neighbor upstairs.]

Billy Wilder scripts are exceptional - unexpectedly layered and multi-tasking. 

For example here, Richard's wife and son have just left for the summer.  He meets his pretty new neighbor upstairs who is subletting.

On his first night alone, he has an imaginary conversation with his wife about what a loyal husband he is.   In fact, he's had to chase women off.

When his imaginary wife scoffs at this, he uses his overactive imagination to conjure up a series of "dream bubble" scenarios to prove his point.

Notice how this scene below refutes the imaginary wife's argument that he's not super-desirable AND shows what Richard wishes would happen:

DREAM BUBBLE (1) - RICHARD'S OFFICE - DAY

Richard stands at the desk in his shirt sleeves, reading a letter. Miss Morris enters.

RICHARD (barely looking up): Miss Morris, did you type this letter?

MISS MORRIS (tensely): Yes, Mr. Sherman.

RICHARD: There are six typographical errors in the first paragraph alone. What is the matter iwth you, Miss Morris? (pause) Come now, Miss Morris. What is the matter with you?

MISS MORRIS: I'll tell you what's the matter with me. I'm in love with you. That's what's the matter with me. I have been - since the first day I came here. Deeply...madly...desperately...all consumingly! And you - you've never even noticed me! To you I'm just nothing...a piece of office furniture...a dictaphone...ten fingers to type your miserable letters...

Suddenly, she tears off her glasses, rips the comb out of her hair so that it comes tumbling wildly down over her shoulders.

MISS MORRIS (out of control): Look at me, Mr. Sherman. I'm a woman! A woman, do you hear me? With flesh and blood and nerves and feelings! I love you, I need you, I want you, want you, want you, want you!

She grabs him around the shoulders and kisses him violently. There is the sound of cloth being torn. he stands there, quite cool about the whole thing. Finally when her passion is spent - 

RICHARD (unruffled): That will be all, Miss Morris.

He hands her back the letter. She runs out of the room, sobbing hysterically. He looks after her, slowly turning his back to the camera. The back of his shirt is torn. He flexes the muscles of his back. For a moment he is Marlon Brando in STREEETCAR.

The camera has started moving in again. The Dream Bubble bursts and we are back on -

RICHARD - ON THE TERRACE - EVENING

He is lying on the chaise, grinning in delight over his little fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was quite amazed how much of this script was dream bubbles and Richard's fantasy life.  It could've easily been a cliche, but was not.

The Seven Year Itch (1955)(final draft, 8/10/54)
by George Axelrod and Billy Wilder
Based on the play by George Axelrod

TODAY'S NUGGET: Life with Father (1947) - How to Show Cupid's Arrow Has Landed (Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: In the 1880s, Father rules the roost (not really) with a clever wife and four red-headed boys.]

A colleague recommended this film to me, though I'd not heard of it.

Once I saw the line up of talent,* I knew I had to find the script.

Comedy is often based on reversals. The unexpected and ironic makes us laugh, especially when Cupid is involved.  So how can those arrows land with a big laugh?

FIRST: Set up the status quo.  

ex. Prior to the scene below, we see 18 y.o. Clarence told to practice his violin, which he does not like.  Also he is irritated he has to give his room up to visiting guests.

SECOND: Create conflict or a change.

ex. In the scene below, he meets one of the guests (Mary).

THIRD: Show change(s) in behavior that directly contradict previous behavior.

ex. In the scene below, he is playing violin and happy to have given up his room.

FULL SHOT  TOP OF STAIRS

Vinnie and Cora exit into the bedroom. Mary looks down the stairs to Clarence at the foot of the stairs.  Clarence with his violin starts toward the parlor.

MARY: Cora didn't tell me about you. I never met a Yale man before.

Clarence turns, almost smiling.

MARY: Oh, you play the violin.

CLARENCE: I fool with it a little.

MARY: You're just being modest.

CLARENCE: No, really --

MARY: I play the piano -- not awfully well, but --

CLARENCE: Now you're being modest.

MARY: Do you play duets?

CLARENCE: I haven't up to now.

MARY: Neither have I -- up to now.

She gives him a devastating smile, turns and hurries up stairs. At the far end of the hall John enters carrying the bags. He notices Clarence staring ecstatically up after Mary.

JOHN: What happened to you?

CLARENCE (dazedly): Nothing -- I feel fine.

Clarence lifts his violin and starts to play "Sweet Genevieve" passionately as John continues up the stairs with the bags looking back at Clarence with amazement.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really liked that there's no talk of love or falling in love.  The character doesn't even know what hit him!  Yet all there in his odd behavior.

Life with Father (1947)(2/6/46 final draft)
by Donal Ogden Stewart and Robert Buckner
From the play by Howard Lindsay and Russel Crouse

*First, I'll read anything written by Donald Ogden Stewart (Philadelphia Story). Second, I'll see anything directed by Michael Curtiz (Casablanca) at least once.  Then there's one of my favorite actors William Powell (Thin Man), the talented comedy heroine Irene Dunne (Awful Truth), and a young Elizabeth Taylor.   

Also, each one of the above is an Oscar winner or nominee.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Little White Lies (unproduced) - In a Rom-Com, Pain + Truth = Funny (& Intimacy)

[Quick Summary: After Lisa meets Paul at a Fourth of July party, she refuses to see him except on holidays.]

As you may know, I generally don't post unproduced scripts...unless there's merit.

This is a really good rom-com, which is scarcer than hens' teeth.*

One of the keys to a good rom-com is nailing the intimacy between the two leads. 

But how do you create that, especially in this age of social media oversharing?

According to my gold standard reference on the rom-com, Writing the Romantic Comedy (2020, 20th Anniversary ed.) by Billy Mernit

Pain + truth = funny.

...no matter how excruciating their public exposure may have been, the experience has somehow brought them a little closer together.  

This special kind of earned intimacy is typical of romantic comedy relationships.  Both man and woman have been exposed. But instead of alienating them, being in this nightmare together puts them on equal footing and even creates a tacit bond:  they're the special ones who've shared a little hell and lived to tell about it.  (Ch. 9: The Art of Funny)

In p. 1-3 of the script (below):
- We see how the writer immediately puts the couple in a nightmarish situation, which leads to an equal footing. 
- Note also the incredible vulnerability, which required alcohol to get to the truth.

LISA: Happy Fourth of July.

PAUL: Happy Fourth of July.

LISA: I had to have four drinks before I had the courage to come out here and talk to you. [Vulnerability]

PAUL: I didn't mean to frighten you.

LISA (takes another drink; then): You look like a man of the world. [Vulnerability]

PAUL: Within reason.

LISA: The kind of man a woman can be terribly honest with.

PAUL: Am I that obvious?

LISA: The sort of man with whom a woman can share her most intimate thoughts.

PAUL: It's like you've known me all my life.

LISA: I know you're mature enough to handle what I'm about to tell you.

PAUL: I'll do my best.

LISA:  Ready?

PAUL: Ready.

LISA: Your fly's open.  [Vulnerability, especially for well brought up Lisa]

Paul looks, and indeed the zipper on his pants is down. As he pulls the zipper up with one hand, he is very cool about it.

LISA (continuing): I had to tell you. You looked so vulnerable walking around that. [Truth]

PAUL: I appreciate it. There's nothing worse at a party than not really knowing why people keep smiling at you. [Pain + Truth]

LISA: For a minute I thought you were a flasher. Then I said to myself, "That man has too much on the ball to be a flasher. If he was one, he'd be flashing all the way." [Pain + Truth]

PAUL: I appreciate your vote of confidence. [Truth + Bond is forming]

LISA: I liked you the minute I saw you. Do you know how I knew?

PAUL: How?

LISA:  You're wearing blue underwear. I could never get close to a man who wears basic white. [Pain + Truth]

PAUL: I haven't any secrets left. [Hinting at the theme of white lies]

LISA: Secrets are for children. (then) Are you married? [Echoing theme]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Your lead characters will only feel something if there's vulnerability, intimacy, i.e., create scenes where they share an exposing experience.

Little White Lies (unproduced)(undated; perhaps 1980s?)
by Stanley Shapiro

*It was written by veteran rom-com writer Stanley Shapiro who had an amazing run in the 1960s: Pillow Talk; Operation Petticoat; Lover Come Back; Oscar winning That Touch of Mink; Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Love and Death (1975) - Conflict + Suspense + Upended Expectations = Funnier Screwball Comedy Scenes

[Quick Summary: In 1800s Russia, a neurotic soldier avoids death, pursues love, and plans to kill Napoleon with the help of a distant cousin.] 

Though the page count is long, this script reads fast due to slapstick gags and jokes.

However, I thought the funniest scenes were those in which there was:
a) conflict, known or unknown; AND
b) suspense, in which the audience knows things that the characters do not; AND
c) how the resolution upends expectations, which makes it funnier.

For example, in the scene below:

a) Take CONFLICT...
- Boris and his reluctant wife Sonja are impersonating Spanish envoys who are to arrange a treaty with Napoleon.
- Simone is a French assassin who thinks Boris is also an assassin.
- Neither knows who the other truly is.
- The conflict is on many levels (moral, political, ethical).
- Also, I was surprised how emotionally conflicted I felt for Boris. For the first time in his life, he experiences someone finding him attractive...and it's likely faked!

b) Add SUSPENSE..Crank it up with UPENDED EXPECTATIONS:
- We are waiting to see things unfold, but then our expectations are upended:
---> Which side will unveil the imposter first? Neither does, which is funny.
---> Will Simone discharges the gun? It fails...which is funny
---> Will Boris decide to bed Simone? His rejection likely saved his life...which is funny.

INT. GUEST ROOM (BORIS). NIGHT

Him in his room. Knock on door. He opens it. Pretty woman.

BORIS: Yes?

SIMONE: Don Francisco?

BORIS: I hope so for your sake.

SIMONE (enters, door shut): I am a welcoming present from General Leveque.

BORIS: Oh, nice present. Shall we get this wrapping off?

SIMON

E: You're even more handsome than I thought.

BORIS: Yes, I get that all the time.

SIMONE: More sensuous than I had imagined in my wildest dreams.

BORIS: Really? What are some of your wildest dreams? (hands her pencil and paper) Why don't you write them down and we'll act out the parts.

SIMONE: Your sister -- she will not hear us in here?

BORIS: My sister? Oh my sister...good point...no...right now she's bathing, maybe even taking a bath.

She goes to him, kisses him, puts pistol to back of his head, pulls trigger, it clicks, misfiring.

BORIS: Did you hear a click? Oh well...listen...I feel a little guilty about this...you know, I have a wife in Spain.

SIMONE: Spain is far away.

BORIS: I know, but --I feel too guilty to cheat on her.

SIMONE: Yes?

BORIS: I'm afraid so. Well -- now that that's out of the way, shall we go to bed?

He turns. She fires again, it clicks.

BORIS: You hear that? I keep hearing a clicking sound. Listen, I appreciate your interest but I am kinda close to her. (getting rid of her)

SIMONE: Monsieur?

BORIS: Really - I  - I gotta get dressed - no kidding. Dining with the Emperor tonight...We're like this-- (crossed fingers) Or that -- take your choice.

And she's out. He looks into mirror. 

BORIS: Sweet girl -- hated to disappoint her -- she'll never know --she came that close to heaven.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It would be a mistake to assume that the humor is only due to the dialogue. 

I really think the reason this kind of comedy stands out is the underlying structure (conflict + suspense + upended expectations), which requires a deft touch.

Love and Death (1975)(8/11/74 revised)
by Woody Allen

TODAY'S NUGGET: Madly in Love (unproduced) - To Invest the Reader: Stay Emotionally True

[Quick Summary: Roger, a fear-filled writer in love, is robbed at home, and embarks on a journey to get his things back.]

I became curious about this unproduced script after I read this sentence in writer Alvin Sargent's obituary:

He mourned in recent years the failure to sell his screenplay Madly in Love, which he wrote in the late 1980s and which used his own terrifying experience at the hands of an armed intruder, as the inspiration for a romp about a man overcoming his phobias.

I feel the title is misleading, as it seems to indicate "light-hearted romance." 

Instead, it is a deeper character study of a fearful man who goes on a wild road trip, desperate not to be that afraid again. 

It's also a prime example of Sargent's invisible craftmanship for a smooth read.  

On the plot level, he has an uncanny ability to plunge the reader into the situation. 

On an emotional level, his familiar images are still interesting, and linger in one's memory long afterwards. 

For example, the script begins with the scene below:
- Roger (42) has an ex-wife, kids, and is now in love with Molly (35).
- Notice that this is a familiar walk-and-talk scene between two people on a beach...and yet, there is a depth.  We already see Roger's flaw...on p. 1-2!

EXT. BEACH - PACIFIC COAST HIGHWAY - DUSK

...MOLLY: Great. But first let's walk. To that red neon sign.

Roger looks up the beach at a flashing red neon sign in the distance. Then he looks back toward the bluff where a green MUSTANG is parked. He turns to see she is already moving up the beach. Roger gets up. Reluctantly, he begins to move after her.

ROGER: We could watch the sunset from Omar's and have dessert.

MOLLY: Look at that sky.

Roger slows, then he stops.

MOLLY: C'mon, Rog. (turns, looks at him) Just to the sign.

He stares at her. Then shrugs with some sadly strange, defeated attitude. They look at each other.

MOLLY (CONT'D): You okay?

Then he turns toward the water, moves slowly onto some rocks. Molly continues to look at him. She understands something, and she starts slowly back. 

ROGER (looking out at water): I'm sorry. I can't help it.

MOLLY: It's all right.

They stand and both look out at the water and the sunset.

MOLLY (CONT'D): It doesn't matter.

ROGER: Sometimes things are just too far.

They sit on the rocks.

ROGER: I'm really sorry.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Why did I become so invested in these characters so soon? I think it's because the above scene was so emotionally true and left questions.

Obviously these two know each other well and still can't work it out....What now?

Madly in Love (unproduced)
by Alvin Sargent

TODAY'S NUGGET: A New Leaf (Unproduced) - Comedy w/Romance vs. Rom-Com?; A Smart Montage of Mental Fears

[Quick Summary: After squandering his inheritance, Henry decides to keep up his expensive lifestyle by marrying, and then murdering, a forgetful heiress.

MY THREE THOUGHTS:

1) UNPRODUCED SCRIPT. I rarely post unproduced scripts, but this is special.  

The acclaimed Elaine May directed A New Leaf (1971), which she adapted,  directed, and co-starred with Walter Matthau.

Then someone hired actor-writer Carrie Fisher to update it (the 1995 draft below).

2) WHAT GENRE IS IT? At first, I wondered if it was a comedy with romance or a romantic comedy. It is the former, but how can the reader tell?

COMEDY WITH ROMANCE = The story is about the protagonist on a funny journey or situation to solve a problem.  He/she may falls in love on the side.

ROMANTIC COMEDY = The story is about two protagonists' relationship, i.e., a two hander.  Both arc and change through learning to love the other person.

This script is very much focused on Henry, his goal (becoming rich again), and overcoming selfishness. Henrietta's arc is smaller, as she commits to Henry faster. 

3) A SMART MONTAGE OF FEARS. I was very impressed by how the following montage flowed on the page.  It shows Henry at home with fears playing across his mind:

...HOSTESS: We don't take reservations at Stauffers. You have about a twenty minute wait for a table. Stand in the back of the rope please.

Henry turns away from the mirror and faces INTO CAMERA. His expression is one of growing horror. Behind him the mirror goes blank, reflecting only his figure without background.

VOICE (O.S.): I'm sorry, Mr. Graham. The New York Athletic Club does not keep those members on its roster who are remiss in their dues.

The lobby of The New York Athletic Club suddenly MATERIALIZES in the mirror. Henry remains FACING CAMERA and speaking to off-camera clerk in tones of paranoid conviction.

HENRY: That's not it! It's my suit, isn't it?

Mr. Solomon suddenly appears in the mirror behind Henry and walks up to the desk. He lays a hand on Henry's shoulder. Both Henry's react.

SOLOMON: Don't waste your time, Mr. Graham. Come with me to the Y.

HENRY (shrugging his hand off): No, thank you. I will not, even in this time of crisis, identify myself with a minority group.

THE ANGLE TIGHTENS to an EXTREME CLOSE-UP of Henry. There is the SOUND of traffic and horns blowing O.S. THE CAMERA PULLS BACK slightly to reveal Henry at the wheel of a car. It is obviously a low budget car of American design. Through the side window of the car we see a Ferrari pull up. In it is Frank. He sees Henry, pulls down his window, and calls...

FRANK: Henry, you're not...you're not driving a Chevrolet!

Henry turns quickly away. The red light that bathes the screen turns green...and the Ferrari zooms off leaving Henry behind with the rest of the cars Henry closes his eyes. A tear trickles down his cheek.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how clear the fear montages all had the theme of rejection in them.

A New Leaf (unproduced)(8/4/95 cut & paste draft)
by Carrie Fisher
Based on a screenplay written and directed by Elaine May.
Based on a short story, "The Green Heart," by Jack Ritchie.