[Quick Summary: Pete, a ranch hand, is in love with the married Mona from afar, but still looks out for his best friend Big Boy, who is actually seeing her behind her husband's back.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) RISING TENSION & SUSPENSE. Writer Walon Green has a real talent for keeping tension and suspense mounting for the whole script.
First, there's two romantic triangles (Big Boy, Mona, husband; Big Boy, Mona, Pete).
Then he sticks Pete with conflicting motives. He has a crush on Mona, which Big Boy doesn't know about, and his loyal friend Big Boy is unwilling to give up Mona.
2) DANGEROUS FEMALE ROLE. It was a treat to see that Mona is equally culpable for the situation. She is beyond caring, and thus, she is dangerous.
In the scene below, note how COMMITTED each character is to their motives. Because of this, the conflict will be unavoidable, thus raising the tension/suspense.
EXT. HI LO - DAY
Pete stands on the sidewalk, leaning against a building near his truck. He glances at his watch. He seems anxious waiting for someone -- Mona.
CUT TO:
INT. HI LO CAFE - DAY
Pete sits at a window table, eating a sandwich. Glancing out he sees --
POV PETE
Mona's car goes past.
RESUME PETE
He gets up and drops some money on the table.
EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
Pete exits and reacts as he sees --
POV PETE
Mona gets out of her car and Les gets out the passenger side. After a few words, they head in different directions.
Mona walks along the side walk. Her thin summer cotton dress clinging to her body and her bare legs.
INT. A SMALL MARKET - DAY
Mona browses picking vegetables from a counter. Suddenly, Pete is at her side. He takes her arm and moves her through the door into the back room.
INT. MARKET STORAGE ROOM - DAY (CONTINUOUS)
Pete releases Mona. She looks at him, annoyed.
MONA: That wasn't very smart.
PETE: Let's not argue about who's bein' smart these days.
Mona says nothing, she knows what's coming.
PETE (continuing): You got to break it off with him. You'll get him killed.
MONA: Now suddenly you're the concerned best friend.
PETE: You're damn right I am.
MONA: Pete, I know what you really are and so do you. I've seen you look at me when I'm with him. I know what eats at you, and it's not concern for your best friend.
Pete has the urge to hit her for striking the chord of horrible truth.
MONA (continuing): I've been bored all my life except for right now.
Mona turns and walks calmly out of the store room.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised at how much Mona's unswerving commitment to her own interests raised the tension for me.
The Hi-Low Country (1998)(1st draft, 8/16/96)
by Walon Green
Based on the novel by Max Evans
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