TODAY'S NUGGET: Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941) - Do You Have A Premise So Strong That It's Been Remade Three Times?

[Quick Summary: When boxer Joe Pendleton accidentally is taken 50 yrs. too soon, Mr. Jordan helps Joe's soul to be placed in the body of a millionaire. ]

Q: What are buyers looking for today?
A: A strong premise.

Q: But what IS a strong premise?
A: A story line that audiences want to see to its conclusion.

Q: What can I look to for a great premise?
A: I think this script is a great example because:
- Back in the day, it won both Oscar winners for story & script in the same year.*
- It is only one of two scripts to ever achieve that status.**
- It has withstood the test of time.  It is based on a play and has been remade at least three times.***

Q: So what makes it a great premise?
A: For me, it was a new approach to the afterlife.  Who had seen an angel (Messenger 7013) take a soul (Joe) before he was supposed to go? 

In the scene below:
- This occurs in the waiting area where souls wait in line to board a plane to heaven. 
- Messenger 7013 has brought Joe to see the head man, Mr. Jordan.
- I particularly like Joe bargaining with Mr. Jordan ("I expect you to make good, Mr. Jordan") because it made me curious to see how this would end.

JOE: Now you're talking, Mister Jordan! You got to get busy and do something about this.

JORDAN: I intend to. Come along, Joseph.

JOE: Where to?

JORDAN: I'm taking you back.

JOE: But you can't! Didn't we tell you? I have got a body any more -

JORDAN (annoyed): What of it? I'll get you another body.

JOE: You'll do what?

MESSENGER 7013 (to Jordan; in amazement): Another body, sir?

JORDAN (testily): That's what I said. Come along. 

He takes Joe by the arm as if to lead him off. But Joe holds back.

JOE (hotly): Wait a minute, now - wait a minute. What kind of a deal is this? You fellas aren't shoving anybody else's body off on me. Not on your life!

MESSENGER 7013 (seeing the light): Oh, but Mr. Pendleton - if Mr. Jordan says he'll get you a body, it'll be as good as your own - if not better.

JOE (stubbornly; troubled): There isn't any better! I put in ten years getting that body in the pink. No! just because you two fumbled the ball is no sign--!

JORDAN (with authority): But Joseph - it's gone! Your body doesn't exist any more!

JOE (doggedly): That isn't my fault. You fellows can do anything. Now come on - do your stuff!

JORDAN (kindly): We shall, Joseph. You may have your choice of a thousand bodies, all excellent specimens.

MESSENGER 7013: A thousand bodies, Mr. Pendleton. Think of it!

JOE: I am thinking of it, and I say no dice! I want my own body - nobody else's!

MESSENGER 7013: Oh tush! Don't make such a fuss. What is it, after all?  A mere physical covering -- worth chemically -- just thirty-two cents!

JOE: Not mine. It was in the pink, I tell you!

MESSENGER 7013: Oh dear!

JORDAN: Suppose we get started, Joseph.

JOE (holding back): Now wait. Let's understand each other before we go running around--

JORDAN: I promise you - we'll keep looking until you find a body you like. Is that fair enough!

JOE: I only want what's coming to me -- What I was and what I was going to be --Nothing more, nothing less. And I expect you to make good, Mr. Jordan.

JORDAN (smiling): I'll do my best, Joe. Come along.

He starts off with Joe.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The premise should avoid a predictable ending, so the audience will want to go on the journey and see how it ends.

Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941)
By Sidney Buchman and Seton I. Miller
Based on a story by Harry Segall

*Before 1956, the Academy used to have three separate awards in the writing category: original script, adapted script, and story. 

**The only other script to achieve this was Miracle on 34th Street (1946).

*** Down to Earth (1947); Heaven Can Wait (1978); Down to Earth (2001).

TODAY'S NUGGET: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) - How To Make Me Care: Flaws + Arcs = Vulnerability

[Quick Summary: When they must complete a history report by tomorrow, 16 y.o. Bill and Ted receive a mysterious time traveling phone booth to help them.]

This was a most excellent adventure to read.

First, the premise is clear: Bill and Ted must present a report on historical figures.

Second, the twist is fun: They actually time traveled to find the historical figures.

But what I liked most was that these characters had real flaws and arcs that were not overshadowed by the flashier bits.

In the scene below:
- Both Bill and Ted are rather irresponsible kids (flaws).
- But because the historical figures are helpless as babies, Bill and Ted change and step up like good 'dads' (arc)

ex. "EXT. PREHISTORIC MARSH - DAY

...TED: Beethoven.  (beat) Beethoven?

Billy the Kid nudges Beethoven, who looks up and raises his hand. Next to him, Sigmund Freud is opening a Pudding Cup. He is about to lick the lid when --

TED (seeing him): Sigmund Freud! Don't lick the lid of the Pudding Cup!

But Freud does anyhow, and winces.

TED: I told you not to. Everyone! Don't lick the lids!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Genghis Khan is elbowing Abraham Lincoln, trying to make more room for himself.

TED: Genghis Khan! Abe Lincoln! That's funny until someone gets hurt!

But Genghis Khan and Lincoln keep horsing around. So Ted calls over toward --

BILL

who is sitting on top of the phone booth, fiddling with the broken antenna.

TED (O.S.): Bill, they won't stop roughhousing.

Bill, the disgruntled "father," sighs and looks over his shoulder --

BILL: Do I have to come over there and make you guys stop?"

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I find vulnerability hard to write.  Perhaps focusing more on flaws and arcs will get me to the same place.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)(6th draft, 11/24/86 w/revisions)
by Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Seventh Seal (1957) - Juggling Humor into a Serious Film

[Quick Summary: While he staves off dying by plays chess with Death, a knight searches for the meaning of God's absence among the country folk he meets.]

This script demonstrates two of the most infuriating truths that no one tells you:*

Quest. #1: It's about the "silence of God"? Why bother with such old fashioned film?

Answer #1: I had mixed feelings after reading this script.

First, this story doesn't have a clear cut objective to accomplish.

The Knight asks "Where is God?" and the answer is a struggle. With Death. With meaning. With day to day life. Yikes.

Second, however, this script did keep me entertained while discussing a serious topic.

What a major juggling feat!  How did the writer do it?

Perhaps we could get a few insights from this recent review of another 2017 film:

This is the story of a kid learning his parents aren’t perfect and all of his neighbors are violent racists. Without any humor or interesting characters to keep the film entertaining, that’s a tough premise for a movie. And it’s tonally impossible to balance. It makes “xxx” a comedy with almost no laughs and a drama with no depth. (underline mine)

Hmmm....Humor or interesting characters keep the premise alive and the tone balanced. Eureka!

Here, the Knight's search for answers to the silence of God (heavy premise) is palatable because of his travels with actors Jof and wife Mia (interesting characters), who add humor and fun.

Note below how life goes on despite Death stalking Knight (life vs death):

ex. "JOF stands in the hot sun with a flickering lantern in his hand. MIA pretends to be asleep on a bench which has been pulled forward on the stage.

JOF: Night and moonlight now prevail Here sleeps my wife so frail...

VOICE FROM THE PUBLIC: Does she snore?

JOF: May I point out that this is a tragedy, and in tragedies one doesn't snore.

VOICE FROM THE PUBLIC: I think she should snore anyhow.

This opinion causes mirth in the audience. JOF becomes slightly confused and goes out of character, but MIA keeps her head and begins snoring.

JOF: Night and moonlight now prevail. There snores - I mean sleeps - my wife so frail..."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Tone has always flummoxed me, so I'm glad to have clearer insight into how humor affects a heavy drama's tone.

The Seventh Seal (1957)
by Ingmar Bergman
Adapted from his play

* FYI: I had too much to say, so here's the first of two posts today.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Kagemusha (1980) - What is the Premise/ Central Story Question/ Promise?

[Quick Summary: A thief who resembles a samurai warlord is drafted into becoming his body double during a time of war.]

BAD NEWS: I find Kurosawa scripts to be very dense.

Also, I have difficulty seeing on the page what he saw in his head.

GOOD NEWS: I never have trouble locating the premise/central story question/promise that he makes with the audience. 

Why? Because there is defined unity, i.e., everything points to the central question.

In the example below, the warlord Shingen gives an urgent speech from his sick bed. No one knows that it will also be his death bed.

Notice how the writers use the speech to instruct the men and to lay out the stakes:

ex. "*A ROOM IN THE TEMPLE

Arm rest on bedding. Shingen, with white bandage on chest, sits and leans on the arm rest. From his posture and expression, it can be seen that his condition is far from good.  [The big man is ill while at war with other warlords. What will happen?]

Darkened expressions on faces of Katsuyori, Baba, Yamagata, Kosaka, Oyamada and others surrounding Shingen. [Reaction of gloomy followers.]

SHINGEN: It is regrettable. I guess I will not see the Takeda flag fly in the capital.

KATSUYORI (impatiently): Father, what are you saying...

SHINGEN: Don't get excited. It has been my lifelong dream to place the Takeda flag in the capital. But, if I should die now, do not dwell on this dream of mine. If it is known that I've departed, Oda, Tokugawa and other enemies will rush into our domain. Do not reveal my demise for three years and guard the domain well. Do not make a false move. If my orders are not observed an you move our soldiers in vain, it will mean the end of the Takeda clan. Listen well, all. This is my last will. [This is the promise of the film: Why do our heroes go to extremes to create and protect a false double of Shingen? To protect the clan. To carry out his dying wishes. The rest of the film will answer: Do they succeed?]

Nobody speaks. Shingen, with extreme exhaustion and changed face, laughs deliriously and with bright eyes.

SHINGEN: This Shingen is not dead yet. I've spoken as I did because of the one in the a million chance that I should go. No, I won't die.

But these words give an impression of impending death to all present. Heavy air sets in."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the premise/ central story question/promise clear in the story.

If you wander from it, you will have confusion and lack unity.

Kagemusha (1980)
by Akira Kurosawa & Masato Ide