TODAY'S NUGGET: The Temptations of Doctor Antonio (1962; part of the Boccaccio '70 anthology) - When Hypocrisy is Revealed in a Satire

[Quick Summary: Outraged Dr. Mazzuolo tries to get a provocative billboard of a woman removed, but is shocked when the billboard woman literally speaks to him.]

In this short film, Dr. Mazzuolo lives a "very moral" life and has definite ideas of how women should behave and dress. 

When a billboard goes up with a provocative woman drinking milk, Dr. Mazzuolo is outraged.  He causes a loud commotion to get it taken down. 

The satire is his obsession over a paper billboard and the over-the-top lengths he'll go to get rid of it.  It's hypocritical because his motives are not particularly virtuous. 

This is best seen in the scene below:   
- Dr. Mazzuolo has gotten the billboard woman covered up with a covering, but the rain has brought it down.
- Anita, the gigantic billboard woman, comes to life and speaks to Mazzuolo.
- Her sheer size is so exaggerated vs. Mazzuolo.  It's a good visual of how he feels; of her vs. him; of one man trying to fight against a larger idea. 
- I really liked the irony of this scene too. Anita's unexpected reaction to Mazzuolo's verbal abuse (shower of tears) brings home to me that he could deal with the billboard woman as an idea but had difficulty dealing with a real woman.

 E.U.R. quarter. Night.

... He laughs once more, harshly and somewhat hysterically. His laughter is suddenly echoed by Anita's, which explodes unexpectedly, bloodcurdling despite her cordial tone. Mazzuolo shudders in horror.

MAZZUOLO (with mixed aggressiveness and terror): What's so funny? ...

ANITA: You laughed, so I laughed too. What's the matter, can't I even laugh? I have a cheerful disposition, you know ...

To overcome his terror, Mazzuolo now explodes in violent abuse, all a-tremor with sanctimonious indignation.

MAZZUOLO: No! ... I can laugh. Not you? Your laugh is cynical or irresponsible! ... You haven't any right to laugh at decent people! You think it's so easy to be decent and pure? It's much easier to be licentious, like you are! For shame! ... Do you have any idea of the ruinous effect you have on people? on the family? on Society? ... Ah, you're just taking the sun, eh? ... Enjoying the scenery? ... You liar! ... I'll shout it right to your face: liar, hypocrite, corrupter of morals! ... You're sowing ruin and scandal! ... If so many decent people go wrong ... if there's so much evil in this world of ours, so wanting in faith and hope, it's your fault! ...

An enormous tear plunges down from on high, forming a little puddle on the ground beside Mazzuolo. Then another, and another. Sidestepping to avoid them, Mazzuolo goes on, his face flushed with wrath.

MAZZUOLO: ... You're crying? ... Cry, cry, it'll do you good! ... I'm glad I made you cry! ... At last I've been able to confront you face to face ... give you a moral whipping ... Weep, weep! 

He opens his umbrella as the huge tears continue to shower down around him. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the writers didn't try to soften the hypocrisy and make Dr. Mazzuolo more likeable. Satire requires that characters are unrepentant as they go hard after what they want in order to lampoon them.

The Temptations of Doctor Antonio (1962) 
by Federico Fellini & Ennio Flaiano & Tullio Pinelli

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Best Man (1964) - Jabs in the Subtext of a Dialogue Heavy Satire

[Quick Summary: Two candidates - Russell, a ruthless one and Cantwell, a principled one - attempt to solidify the party's nomination for presidency.]

Today's script was written by playwright Gore Vidal, adapted from his own play. 

When the script was published, the editors wrote this interesting observation:

"But essentially the script consists of rather large master scenes only. There are fewer than 100 master scenes, a small number for a feature film, and all involve a considerable dependence, in the script, upon dialogue rather than action or cinematic effects. The result is a fairly long script built around a limited number of settings. For the most part, then, author Vidal leaves the handling of the master scenes in cinematic terms to the director and the crew."  (my own underlining)

Rather than focus on "cinema" and try to expand the world with multiple settings, I thought it was smart that Vidal:
1) kept to the spirit of the play and kept it intimate with limited setting;
2) kept the focus of the script on the duel between these two candidates;
3) avoided the trap of a dialogue heavy script (more "telling" than "showing") with great subtext beneath the surface of the words.

The scene below is a good example (particularly subtext). Prior to this scene:
- Cantwell and Russell are both running for the party's nomination.
- Cantwell is about to concede to Russell, who has released Cantwell's negative medical records to the voters.
- Alice is Russell's wife.
- Note that Russell, who has the upper hand in this scene, is playing games with Cantwell.  He's trying to rile Cantwell with jabs in the subtext.

INT. CONVENTION ROOM 2

Aide gives Cantwell a note; he glances at it perfunctorily.

RUSSELL (gaily): Hi, Joe! Long time no see!

CANTWELL: Yes . .  Mrs. Russell, I'm Joe Cantwell . . . I don't think we've met.

Cantwell shakes Alice's hand. 

ALICE: How do you do. 

RUSSELL: I thought you would be busy working on your acceptance speech. Or is it already written?

CANTWELL (begins): Now, Bill, as I see the picture. . .

RUSSELL: I've been working for months on my acceptance speech, trying to strike that delicate balance between humility and confidence.

CANTWELL: Yes. Now as I see this convention . . . 

RUSSELL: You of course have a gift for hitting the right note.

CANTWELL: Yes. . .

RUSSELL: I like the way you always manage to state the obvious with a sense of real discovery.

CANTWELL: Yes. Now, Bill . . .

RUSSELL: And that wonderful trick you have of . . .

CANTWELL (exploding): Bill, at least let me get one word in edgewise!

RUSSELL (laughs): I'm sorry, Joe. I couldn't resist it. (to the others) I was using Joe's technique: never let the other man get started. Talk right through him. Also, whenever Joe starts a sentence with "Now Bill" . . . you know he's up to no good.

CANTWELL (quickly): Now, Bill . . .

RUSSELL: See?

Cantwell controls himself with some difficulty. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Though the filmmakers could take care of the cinema part, they needed the writer Vidal to do what they could not, i.e., bring the inter-personal dynamics, set the stage, include the subtext in dialogue.

The Best Man (1964)(8/28/63 final shooting script)
by Gore Vidal
Based on his play 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Sunset (1988) - Regaining One's Dignity in a Parting Shot (Blake Edwards' Style + Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: After lawman Wyatt Earp agrees to consult on a film starring Tom Mix, they trace a murder by the sadistic studio head that leads to a battle at the first Academy Awards.]

I really enjoy Blake Edwards' ability to construct a parting shot that's deeper than just a funny line of dialogue.  They're witty, with a character flourish.

For example, in the scene below:
- Actor Tom Mix is going to play lawman Wyatt Earp in a film.  
- The sadistic studio chief has decided to hire the real Wyatt Earp to act as a consultant. 
- The studio chief has sent his studio police man, Dibner, to track down Tom Mix (star) and Wyatt Earp (hired consultant).  
- Dibner hired two stunt men to rough up Tom and Wyatt at this restaurant. 
- Tom has just threatened Dibner and slammed him up a wall.
- Wyatt now steps up. 
- Note how the construction of this scene sets up the parting shot: Tom has physically threatened Dibner --> Wyatt threatens too --> Tom (and the audience) know Wyatt's threat has more force --> Tom tries to regain his dignity by "setting Wyatt straight" --> Tom's parting shot makes fun of the credibility he lacks compared to Wyatt

INT. EL COYOTE - NIGHT

...WYATT: I don't know what he told you, Marvin, but seein' as how I'm more civilized than he is I'd like to put in my two cents worth. From here on, you give me any more trouble and I'm gonna kill you. Understand?

DIBNER: Yes.

WYATT: Say it. Convince me.

DIBNER: Any more trouble...you'll kill me.

WYATT: I believe you. So from now on, whether you live or die, it's up to you.

DIBNER (shakes his head): 'Scuse me.

He hurries into the men's room.  Wyatt turns to go but Tom stops him.

TOM: Just a minute. We better get somethin' straight right now!

WYATT: What's wrong?

TOM: I threatened I was gonna drag him behind my horse then you waltz in pretty as you please an' threaten to kill him. I don't like bein' out-threatened.

WYATT: I'm sorry. 'Won't ever happen again.

TOM: Okay...

They walk away.

TOM (continuing): Bad as bein' upstaged. 'Got to remember I'm a star.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This parting shot works because: 
a) it has deeper meaning about character, i.e., Tom's attitude about himself; and 
b) it was constructed (setup) from the scene so that it becomes a satisfying payoff.

Don't be fooled into simply tacking on an amusing line. If it doesn't have deeper meaning, it does not resonate, and thus, is not as funny. 

Sunset (1988)(3/20/87 with revisions)
by Blake Edwards
Based on a novel by Rod Amateau

TODAY'S NUGGET: S.O.B. (1981) - Looseness & Freedom to Write Wild Hijinks in Satire

[Quick Summary:  A director decides to reshoot his box office bomb as an erotic film, jeopardizing the reputation of his rated-G leading lady.] 

In this script, writer/director Blake Edwards wanted to talk about those people who, like leeches, feed off of creative people, then turn on them.

I admire that his writing accomplishes several things: 
a) It's bold, daring (ex. the protagonist doesn't speak for the first 50+ minutes!)
b) It's committed to humor, while skewering people's foibles.
c) It maintains a looseness and freedom to take unexpected swings.

In the scene below:
- Polly is the wicked gossip columnist.
- The other characters are: Ben (publicity), Irving (doctor), Culley (director replacing Felix), Lila (came with Culley).
- Felix, the protagonist director, has not spoken and is trying to kill himself in the other room.
- Polly has been unsuccessful in getting inside the house for a scoop.
- Note how the scene begins how we expect, but doesn't end as we expect.
- Also note that nothing is off the table for a laugh, even a falling protagonist.

INT. FARMER BEACH HOUSE - DAY

...The door flies open and there stands Polly.

BEN: Ahhh... Hello, Polly... 

IRVING: Amazing coincidence. I was just talking about you. [I love that this line is both ironic and kissing up to Polly.]

POLLY: Were you, Irving? Hello, Culley, Ben...I hear Felix tried to commit suicide.

BEN: Felix? Suicide?

Culley laughs, Irving joins in followed by Lila and finally, Ben.  [We know Felix has been trying to kill himself, so we're in on the joke.]

BEN: Ridiculous.

Felix comes crashing through the ceiling and lands on Polly. [What a surprise! I expected the sycophants sucking up to the powerful gossip columnist.  I did NOT expect the crash entrance that complicates how to deal with Polly.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that the physical comedy embodied the satire.  

In other words, Polly is trying to get a scoop on a director's possible suicide.  His leeches pretend he's not. The director's body flies into the scene, obviously attempting the suicide. 

This is using satire (irony, sarcasm, ridicule) to make the point that the leeches who demand so much the director are the same ones sending him to his death.  

S.O.B.  (1981)(3/5/80 revised)
by Blake Edwards.

* S.O.B. = Standard Operating Business

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Women (1939) - Gossiping About Love Triangles is (Truthful) Screwball Fun

[Quick Summary: After she learns her husband is seeing someone else, Mary Haines grapples with the snubs and opinions of her social group.]

One reason I like to read older scripts (a.k.a. film plays*) is to discover WHY they struck a nerve and WHY they're still relevant. 

For example, today's script features the women involved in a love triangle.**

WHY DOES IT STRIKE A NERVE?  I think women in love everywhere have the common experience of worrying about competition in their relationships.

WHY IS IT STILL RELEVANT?  It never goes away.  Women are either in a love triangle, have been affected by one, or are fascinated by the drama. 

WHAT SETS THIS SCRIPT APART? It nails an aspect of the love triangle that's not often seen: the community and societal pressures. 

HOW? By satirizing how what other women think affects other women.  After all, the husband is never seen and this IS the story about The Women. 

For example, the scene below is pure screwball comedy:
- The writers used women's love of gossip, i.e., need to talk about another's secret.
- The gossip begins at the beauty salon.
- Mary and her cousin Sylvia (Rosalind Russell) are frienemies.
- The manicurist has just let it slip to Sylvia that Mary's husband is seeing a mistress, Crystal (Joan Crawford). Sylvia is bursting to unload on a friend. 
- Notice how the writers thwart this need until she's at pitch desperation. These are slightly exaggerated lengths, but the emotions are very real.
- The purpose of this scene is to focus on the character development.  Ignore the studio formatting.  It is no longer used as much, as noted in the * below.

At which point, a drying machine next to them is turned on, drowning out Olga's voice. But in Sylvia's face, we see a swiftly growing malicious delight, and finally Sylvia can stand it no longer and jumps up excitedly. She grabs her coat, hat and bag, all the time protecting the nails of the hand Olga has just finished, tips the two girls, and rushes out. And the view wiping off, we see a row of five PAY STATION TELEPHONE BOOTHS in a DRUG STORE with Sylvia striding along. She starts toward the first booth, and sees that it is occupied by a woman as are all five. As she reaches the last booth, she hears the door of the first one open and quickly turns and makes a dash for it. But just as she reaches it a large woman obstructs her way and eases herself inside, barely making it, much to Sylvia's annoyance. The next instant, the woman in the last booth emerges, but again, as Sylvia rushes forward, she arrives too late and a package-laden woman beats her to it, giving her a sweet smile as she closes the door, a smile which Sylvia forces herself to return. Grimly now, she takes her position opposite the middle booth.

The central booth now appears and Sylvia is seen tapping nervously on the glass door as the woman inside talks on, turning to cast an annoyed glance at the tapper. Finally the woman hangs up and Sylvia pushes into the booth while the woman is coming out, getting them both practically stuck for an instant. Inside, Sylvia sniffs distastefully at the smell of the place, waves her handkerchief to clear it out, then opens her bag, takes out a coin purse, looks in it and finds only two fifty cent pieces. Now beings a frantic search through her bag for a nickel. She takes out vanity case, lipstick, cigarette case, address book, gold pencil, small perfume bottle, key-ring, comb, a small bottle of dental floss, stamp book and more paraphernalia. She finally starts out with the though of getting change, but seeing the lineup of women, abandons the idea. She searches through the pockets of her coat and although she finds no money, her eyes light up as she feels the round weights which have been put into the lining. she quickly rips open the lining, takes out the weight and breathlessly fits it into the coin box. It works. It works, and with a snooty grimace of triumph, she dials the number.

SYLVIA (at the telephone): Mrs. Potter please...this is Mrs. Fowler. (She waits eagerly.) Edith? ... Take a group on yourself! You're going to die!...Stephen Haines is stepping out on Mary!

A close-up of Edith shows her in a negligee - at the phone - bristling with delight, with a nasty tempered little Peke lying in her lap.

EDITH: Are you sure it's true?...Tell me about it this instant!...

 WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Gossiping about Mary's love triangle leads to exaggerated, screwball comedy fun.  

But it also points us to the truth about Sylvia's motives, i.e., that she takes pleasure in Mary's misfortune (schadenfreude).

The Women (1939) 
by Anita Loos and Jane Murfin
Based on the play by Clare Luce Boothe

*The early films were called "film plays," and the scripts are formatted like plays.  They often have paragraphs of narrative and lack distinct slug lines.  

Back in the day, I wonder it the name "film play" was also a bit of marketing because it combines a familiar word ("play," as in, theater play), with an unfamiliar new format (film).  

**It featured up and coming stars of the day: Norma Shearer (wife Mary), Rosalind Russell (Mary's cousin Sylvia), and Joan Crawford (mistress Crystal).  It was directed by the George Cukor, who did an exceptional job.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Front (1976) - Using the Physical Space Well to Setup-Payoff a Joke

 [Quick Summary: After agreeing to act as a front for a blacklisted writer, Howard becomes famous and falls in love with a script editor who thinks he's a real writer.]

Have you heard of this black comedy? I hadn't, but was curious because it stars Woody Allen in a film he neither wrote nor directed.

Writer Walter Bernstein, who was blacklisted himself, satirizes the system that ruined lives (and is questionable if it had any anti-communism effect). 

Bernstein, a funny writer, really shines when getting the physicality of the joke right for the audience, i.e., using the physical space to setup and payoff a joke.

One of the best examples of this kind of setup-payoff (below) is nearly invisible: 
- Sussman, the producer, has asked Howard for an immediate rewrite.
- Howard frantically calls Alfred, the writer that Howard is pretending to be.
- Howard is a prisoner in his office, under watchful eyes, until Alfred rushes him a draft.
- Note that this is all done in shots, without dialogue.
- Also, note that Bernstein is so clear about the scene that he leaves out verbs in the narrative (last full paragraph).

INT. THE CORRIDOR - DAY

Florence walking along. She pauses before the door to Howard's office, then hesitates and decides not to disturb him. She looks at her watch and walks on.

INT. THE OFFICE - DAY

Howard at the window.  He sees what he has been looking for.

EXT. THE STREET - DAY

A taxi parked at the curb, window open, Alfred inside. He hands an envelope out to Howard on the street.

INT. THE CORRIDOR - DAY

The fire door opens a crack and Howard's eye surveys the scene. The coast is clear and he comes out, having made the climb up again. Carrying the envelope, he staggers into Sussman's office. [The word "staggered" made me laugh because it conveys so much irony.]

INT. SUSSMAN'S OFFICE - DAY

Sussman behind his desk, holding the script in his hands. Florence there. Howard in a chair, panting. Sussman indicates his condition to Florence. [ The meaning is clear, so no verbs are necessary, except for the last sentence.]

SUSSMAN: That's how we treat talent. Sometimes I'm ashamed.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  What is so great about this joke is the setup is all physical and non-verbal, topped off by the last punch line (payoff). 

The Front (1976)(8/13/75 revised)
by Walter Bernstein

2024 OSCARS: Poor Things (2023) - Showing His Disconnect with Her

[Quick Summary: Bella, a child's brain transplanted into the body of her mother, learns at a rapid pace as she leaves home to explore the world.]

This is definitely Bella's story (Emma Stone).  She has tremendous arc.

However, I found the Duncan character (Mark Ruffalo) more interesting.  He is a man used to getting his way, and cannot cope with this woman outgrowing him.

One of the first scenes to show this disconnect is the scene below.  I really liked how Duncan is trying to undermine Bella's growing confidence in the subtext.  

What makes it funnier is that she has no idea he is jabbing at her and does not respond in a way we'd expect:

INT. DINING ROOM - DAY

A flambe crepe suzette, a women's hair on fire. Duncan stares at Bella who ignores it, she is drawing a postcard to Baxter. Her floating at sea, a bird sitting on her chest pushing her under. [A woman on fire in a communal dining area is unexpected and funny.]

DUNCAN: There is a woman on fire. Look. [He makes a bid for her attention.]

She continues drawing. [She ignores the woman on fire, which is amusing. She ignores him, which is our first non-verbal sign. Maybe she didn't hear him?]

DUNCAN (CONT'D): I know you are mad, forgive me my kidnapping you, but it was for love. A romantic jape. Don't be such a cunt about it.

She looks at him. [Ok, she did hear him. She may not understand the meaning of "cunt," but she does seem to understand kidnapping is not love, nor for her benefit. They're not on the same page, and the disconnect is widening.]

BELLA: I want a drink.

DUNCAN: Of course darling. The ship is fun, a world to explore. I love you. Do you love me? [He's not listening to her. She doesn't know how to address what's going on yet. They are operating on two different levels. Even if they cannot can see the misunderstanding, we can, and it's humorous too.]

BELLA: Describe the elements I should be looking for within myself to be sure.

DUNCAN: You just feel it or not! [He's getting impatient, but has no idea why. He doesn't know there's an infant brain inside of her, literally. In subtext, he assumes she's being dense, and expects her to behave like an adult, but she cannot. I like the irony here.]

BELLA: So it is no evidence base as God would say. And so how judge it empirically?

DUNCAN: What the fuck are you talking about? Who are you? You don't know what bananas are, you've never heard of chess, and yet you know what empirically means! [He's getting more upset that she makes no sense, though he is not either.]

BELLA: Bella needs a drink. Said twice now. [She may not know what he's talking about, but she does know he's not listening.] 

DUNCAN: I have never felt anything like this. Is this true for you? [He continues to press, even though she can't give him the response he wants.]

BELLA: ...I suppose empirically it is. Oh I am out of ink. [She is literally out of ink, and of words. This was really smart. I also liked that it is a line puts a button on the scene. She has no subtext, and is speaking of ink.]

DUNCAN: Then you shall have ink my love. [Duncan seems to think their agreement re:ink also means they're on the same page about the two of them.]

He gets up and heads across the room.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that we see the disconnect in the non-verbals, and also subtext (what characters believe, but not being said). 

We also think it's amusing because the audience can see what the characters can't.  

Ex. Duncan is insisting Bella behave a certain way without understanding where she is coming from, nor her lack of psychological development.

Poor Things (2023)(final, Dec., 2023)
by Tony McNamara
Based on the novel by Alasdair Gray

2024 OSCARS: Barbie (2023) - Things Lost in Execution; Capturing the Tone of Child's Play

[Quick Summary: Barbie leaves Barbie Land to find out why she is starting to feel real feelings, and finds out things are not as perfect as she thought.]

THE FILM: I saw the film first, and liked act 1, but not 2 and 3. I got confused, and I'm afraid, slightly bored.  Was it the script's fault?

THE SCRIPT: The script surprised me. It is clearer than the film, well-written, inventive, and reads at a zippy, carefree pace (even acts 2 and 3).

So if the script is pretty much the same as the film, why do I think the film does not quite deliver the promise of the script?  What got lost in the execution?

I don't know exactly, but here are my two cents:

1) PATRIARCHY DOESN'T LEND ITSELF TO SNAPPY REPARTEE.  I admire the writers' ambitions to tackle a BIG topic which read well on the page.

However, the arguments require time and explanation...which bogs down the speed that satire needs for laughs.*  As a result, the film was more telling than showing.

2) TOO EARNEST? Satire also requires a good dose of ridicule. In Acts 2 and 3, I found the tone...too earnest?  Trying to make a point? I wish there were more irony.

I do think this script is worth reading, especially for Act 1's breezy, ridiculous fun.  

I particularly like the first description of Barbie Land (below), which captures the mindset of how little girls play with Barbies, with exuberance and female-centric:

EXT. BARBIE LAND. DAY

Barbie Margot waves happily, sometimes with both hands, to other Barbies as her car silently drives itself through a bustling town. It's like Richard Scarry's Busy Town for Barbie. It's a wonder of color and shape. The houses are all see-through, like the toys, it's a Noah's Ark of doll-tastic magic.

It's also completely run by women. They hold every kind of job. Barbie Margot waves to a Barbie mail carrier, and an all Barbie construction crew. There is the occasional Ken, but mostly it's Barbie.

Barbie Margot drives past the Barbie White House which is, of course, pink.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was most moved when this script captured the fun, weird spirit of a child playing with Barbies. The movement of the characters even feel like play.

Barbie (2023)
by Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach

*Margot Robbie recounts (here) that Gerwig wanted her actors to speak at a certain pace and referenced His Girl Friday, one of my all time favorite screwball comedies. 

One of the things that I love about His Girl Friday is that it seemed to speed up as it went along.  It also had a small cast, and a personal, simpler story.   

I don't know if speeding up would even be possible with Barbie.  Barbie had a much bigger cast, and tackled a larger societal problem. The pace would inevitably slow down with that many moving parts.

2024 OSCARS: American Fiction (2023) - What Happens After the Satire's Punchline?

[Quick Summary: While he faces family issues, a frustrated black writer writes a book that's meant to be insulting, but it becomes a best-seller, much to his dismay.]

I think one of the hardest parts of satires is not losing that edgy irony.

I hate it when a script has a great scene with a zinger punchline, but then it dies.  Why couldn't the writer couldn't sustain the momentum? What happened?  

Many times, the script will simply plateau, instead of continuing to build. 

ex. Perhaps the writers were so happy with a joke that they keep going back to that same well, trying to keep cashing in on that one great scene. 

I liked this script because it never resting too long on a punchline. It also never allowed the protagonist to get too comfortable, so the tension continues to build.

For example, in the scene below:

- Carl is the head of the Literary Award committee.
- He is oblivious to the veiled insult Monk delivers ("I'm honored you'd choose me...") If it ended there, that would just be a great punch line.
- However, the writer turns the tables on Monk and plays to his weakness: "you can judge other writers like they judged you."
- This last bit of conflict is what makes the scene fresh and unpredictable.  We want to know what will happen next.

INT. CARL BRUNT'S OFFICE - SAME TIME

...MONK: Every writer knows the Literary Award, Carl. Especially those of us who haven't won it.

Carl laughs a little.

CARL: Well, that's related to why I'm calling. Like many American institutions, mine was recently rattled by the notion that our lack of diversity has led to a blindspot in our work. So we're kind of trying to remedy that and, to that end, I was wondering how you might feel about being a judge for this year's award.

Monk pauses his browsing for a moment.

MONK: Um, let me say first say, Carl, that I'm honored you'd choose me out of all the black writers you could go to for fear of being called racist.

CARL (oblivious): Yeah, you're very welcome.

MONK: But I think this sounds like a lot of work.

CARL: Yeah, I can't deny that. I mean, you're going to have to read dozens of books. We could offer you a modest stipend.

MONK: Even so, I'm not sure.

CARL: OK. One other crass perk I reference when people are on the fence is that this will allow you the opportunity to literally judge other writers for once, rather than just figuratively.

Monk considers this for a moment.

MONK: Alright. I'm in.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Beware of resting on a punchline too long. Satires particularly do well with a conflict after the punchline. 

Perhaps one reason for this is that an audience feels good after a punchline, and will want another jolt. They'll feel let down unless there's another upswing of emotion, and conflict can deliver that.

American Fiction (2023)
by Cord Jefferson
Based on the novel "Erasure," by Percival Everett

2023 OSCARS: Triangle of Sadness (2022) - Empathy/Humor by Tripling Down on Vomit/Diahrrea

[Quick Summary: After a fashion couple join a cruise for the super-rich, it is shipwrecked and the hierarchy is turned upside down.]

This script is broken into 3 parts: life before the cruise; the cruise; and the island.*

My favorite scene was when Carl resents his girlfriend Yaya for not picking up the check.** I would've happily like to have explored more of this dynamic.

However, the writer wanted to talk about bigger issues like how we pretend how important rich "influencers" are, but dump us in nature, and we're all the same.

I don't know any more effective way to spread empathy than to demonstrate what affects us all: seasickness, illness and/or common bodily functions.

This scene below was extremely effective on me because:
- Paragraph 1 begins with sympathy ("I've cleaned up messes before").
- Paragraph 3 moves to empathy, i.e., vicarious experiences, of helplessness when ill and unable to control it. ("I feel woozy from the smell.")
- Paragraphs 7-9 move to pain/panic/humor when it devolves into retching in filth. ("There's a sense of...release(?) in letting it all go?")

INT. YACHT/ DINING ROOM - NIGHT

While the Captain is busy "preaching," a crew of six Filipino cleaning ladies, wearing lab masks, march into the dining room. They clean the mess methodically. One of them has headphones on. We move in on her ear and one of the earbuds. She's listening to Rage Against The Machine, "Killing In The Name." As she's wiping up vomit under a table the music becomes more and more distinct. 

"Now you do what they told ya...Now you do what they told ya...And now you do what they told ya"

Somewhere at this point the audience should - depending on their capacity for empathy - feel that the passengers have had enough. We don't want to see any more vomit. We want mercy for them. At that very moment, through Vera, we realize that they are not only seasick, they are suffering from food poisoning as well and now they desperately need to take a shit.

VERA: Mama! Uaaahhhhh...Help!

We see panic in their eyes as they dash back into the filthy toilets rights when "Killing In The Name" swells to its first climax.

The plumbing goes on the fritz and starts backing up into the hallway.

Shit and vomit start welling up from the toilets, drains, and sinks. Slime is oozing along the walls and out to the carpeted areas.

The passengers panic and try to get away from the stench and incredible filth.

They don't stand a chance against nature and their bodily impulses. They spew at both ends uncontrollably and everywhere.

Carl and Yaya hold hands in their life jackets.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: We find empathy and humor in the things we have in common, so triple down on bodily functions.

Triangle of Sadness (2022)(green revision)
Directed and written by Ruben Ostlund

*The script actually lists: "Part Two - The Cruise Ship" and "Part Three - The Island."

** This really happened to the hilarious writer, as he recounts here.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Risky Business (1983) - How a Line of Dialogue Set Up the Next Three Scenes (Unity of Theme)

[Quick Summary: After his parents leave for the weekend, chaos ensues in a high schooler's house.]

Roger Ebert wrote:

The very best thing about the movie is its dialogue. Paul Brickman, who wrote and directed, has an ear so good that he knows what to leave out. This is one of those movies where a few words or a single line says everything that needs to be said, implies everything that needs to be implied, and gets a laugh. When the hooker tells the kid, "Oh, Joel, go to school. Learn something," the precise inflection of those words defines their relationship for the next three scenes.

So what is their relationship for the next three scenes?  I think it's about how Joel sees it (adolescent sex) vs. how Lana sees it (business):*

SCENE 1 - Because Lana still has his mother's glass egg, Joel has no choice but to leave her at his house while he is at school. He is desperately unprepared for a pop quiz.

SCENE 2- Meanwhile, Lana checks out all the silverware, art, etc.  She takes his dad's Porsche for a drive.

SCENE 3 - Joel returns home to find Lana has invited her hooker friends to use the house for customers.  Here is the scene when he returns home and finds out:

EXT. JOEL'S HOUSE - AFTER SCHOOL - DAY

Joel stops his station wagon midway up the driveway. Miles is hanging out in the front yard. Joel goes to him.

MILES: Hi Joel.

JOEL: What's going on?

MILES: I'm waiting for Glenn?

JOEL: Where is he?

MILES: Inside.

JOEL: In the house?

MILES: He wanted to meet her.

JOEL (not pleased): What is this?

Joel goes toward the house. Glenn exits. He sports a wide grin.

JOEL: What're you doing?

GLENN: I was inside.

JOEL: I can see that.

GLENN (vamping awkwardly): So... you're home now...

Something is definitely up.

JOEL: Yeah, I live here, remember?

Joel turns to look at Miles. Conveniently, Miles is facing the street, his back turned to them.

JOEL: Is Lana still here?

GLENN: She's inside.

JOEL: Tell me you didn't do anything with her --

GLENN: Who? Lana?

JOEL: Yeah.

GLENN: No. Nothing. I just met her. She's nice.

JOEL: You're sure. You didn't do anything with her.

GLENN: Yeah. I swear.

Joel looks back at Miles. He's holding back a chuckle.

JOEL: You fucked her, didn't you?

GLENN: No.  I told you.

JOEL: Yes. You did.

GLENN (indignantly): I did not fuck her, Joel.

JOEL (after a beat): Okay.

GLENN: Ask me about Vicki.

JOEL: Who's Vicki?

A VOICE from the front door. It comes from a tall blonde on a rather large frame. VICKI'S about eight hard years older than Lana.

VICKI: Are you Joel?

Glenn punches Joel's arm gratefully.

GLENN: Owe you one.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was impressed how the dialogue ("go to school, learn something") nailed the theme, which was then played out in the next three scenes.

Risky Business (1983)(3rd draft, 11/30/81)
by Paul Brickman

*Ebert is not often "astounded," so I thought I'd include his thoughts:

"The next best thing about the movie is the casting. Rebecca De Mornay somehow manages to take that thankless role, the hooker with a heart of gold, and turn it into a very specific character. She isn't all good and she isn't all cliches: She's a very complicated young woman with quirks and insecurities and a wayward ability to love I became quietly astounded when I realized that this movie was going to create an original, interesting relationship involving a teenager and a hooker. The teenage kid, in what will be called the Dustin Hoffman role, is played by Tom Cruise, who also knows how to imply a whole world by what he won't say, can't fell, and doesn't understand."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Brazil (1985) - When You Need Funny, Imaginative, Inventive Inspiration

[Quick Summary:  Sam, a lowly employee, disrupts the intrusive, bureaucratic Ministry of Information Retrieval, as he pursues a woman he had dreams of.]

Sometimes you just need examples of how far you could push being funny, imaginative, inventive.

If so, read this script. Here are three (I underlined my favorite parts):

FUNNY: 

CUT to group of tables with diners. At one of them sits a wealthy-looking OLDER WOMAN with a rather plain-looking DAUGHTER in her 20s. The OLDER WOMAN is easily distinguished from the other clientele by a large bandage that covers a goodish part of her head. The two of them (the MOTHER and DAUGHTER, not the MOTHER and bandage) are perusing the menus.

IMAGINATIVE:

Before he can really take in where he is the phone rings. He staggers over to it.

SAM: Hello...hello...

PHONE VOICE: Hello. Mr. Lowry?

SAM: Who's that? 

A sound at the kitchen door turns SAM'S head - and ours - just in time to half see a quick blurred movement, but then a rap voice in his ear-piece brings his head back.

PHONE VOICE: Put the phone down and your hands up.

SAM (into the phone): What? Who is this?

SAM realizes that the voice is also in the room behind him. He turns round and sees TUTTLE. TUTTLE is middle-aged, a short tough figure dressed in dark clothes suggesting a cross between a cat burglar and  a night-raid commando. In one hand he holds a gun pointed at SAM. The other hand is holding a telephone receiver which TUTTLE is in the act of placing in the large capacious bag at his feet. SAM puts down his phone, and his hands up.

INVENTIVE: 

From SAM'S POV, a piece of broken mirror lying on the floor reflects the hole in the ceiling...with JILL's head and shoulders framed in the hole. The moment is unreal for SAM in his dazed condition. The vision seems unreal too. JILL is staring at SAM out of the piece of mirror and she's very much the GIRL from his dream now.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite the heaviness of topic (bureaucracy), it was easy to follow because of 1) the simple thorough line (guy pursuing girl); 2) humor.

Brazil (1985)(1983 draft)
by Terry Gilliam

2022 OSCARS: Don't Look Up (2021) - Why is Big, Ridiculous, Actual (Not Metaphorical) Seduction Possible in Satire?

[Quick Summary: After a Ph.D. student sees a comet coming to destroy Earth, she and a professor try to warn the White House...but everyone has their own agendas.]

Satire (n.): The use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

A satire about society at large is tricky, lest it become "preachy" or "dull." 

I thought this script was rather effective.  It focuses on a societal folly, i.e., foolishness of throwing away long term benefits for the short term gain.

This is best seen in the story arc of Dr. Randall, the professor.

He begins as a sincerely worried scientist, but then he falls for the media hype and attention, especially from tv show personality Brie Evantee.  

The fun thing about satire is that the writer is not limited to the metaphorical.  

The writer can (and did) expose Randall's metaphorical media seduction by showing an actual Brie Evantee seduction:

INT. FANCY HOTEL - DAY

Randall and Brie Evantee walk down a hallway. Brie pulls Randall in for a kiss and they start having sex against the wall in a posh Manhattan hotel.

BRIE EVANTEE: Tell me we're all going to die...

RANDALL: What?

BRIE EVANTEE: tell me we're all going to die... Do it...

RANDALL: We're all going to die...

BRIE EVANTEE: Ohhhh!!!!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Big, ridiculous scenes are possible in satire because ridicule is the point.

Don't Look Up (2021)
by Adam McKay
Story by Adam McKay and David Sirota

2021 OSCARS: Borat 2 (2020) - A Simple Light Bulb Moment in a Satire

[Quick Summary: To bribe the US, Borat is sent to deliver his daughter as a tribute to Vice President Mike Pence.]

Satire (n.): The use of irony, ridicule, sarcasm, etc. exposes, denounces, derides vice or folly.

The trick with satire is that it has to be funny. Otherwise, it's a lecture.  

Or in this case, the point gets lost in the extremely crass behavior. Which is probably the point.

But I didn't laugh and I didn't enjoy reading it.  (But to be fair,  I'm probably not the audience for this either.)

There was one heartfelt light bulb moment I did like. Tutar, Borat's daughter, is literally wearing blinders when she learns her father (and country) had been lying to her:

INT./EXT. BABYSITTER'S CAR/ STREET - MOMENTS LATER

The babysitter is driving. Tutar, wearing her BLINDERS, is freaking out.

TUTAR: What are you doing?

BABYSITTER: We're driving. Women can drive.

Tutar begins to cry.

BABYSITTER (CONT'D): Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay.

TUTAR: You can't drive, you can't drive, you can't drive!

BABYSITTER: I can drive! I can!

TUTAR: It's impossible for woman to drive!

BABYSITTER: Nope! Nope! No!

TUTAR: You are a man! Dressed like a woman!

BABYSITTER: No, no!

TUTAR (screaming): Help me!!! It's a woman driving the car!!!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Does this irony land better because of the extreme preceding behavior? I don't think so.  So is the extreme-ness necessary? Or funnier?

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2020)
by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern
Story by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Nina Pedrad

TODAY'S NUGGET: Wag the Dog (1997) - In Satire, Using a Betrayal to Show the Obstacle

[Quick Summary: A political player and a Hollywood producer create a fake war as a distraction to an upcoming US election.]

Satire (n.) is 

the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, deriding vice, folly, etc.

However, as film critic Roger Ebert points out: 

"It is getting harder and harder for satire to stay ahead of reality."

So what keeps a satire relevant? I think when it jabs home a perennial problem.  

In politics and war, that problem is attrition.  It's one thing to lose a battle to the other side, but when your own rank and file lose faith? Double ouch.

In the scene below:
- Ames, the political aide, is about to leave for the airport, but stops to overhear a phone conversation.
- Notice that this betrayal is not simply a jab in the gut, but is used to show the hurdles that the protagonists have.
- The irony is that one expects betrayal from a foe, not a supposed supporter.

INT. SIDE OFFICE. NIGHT.

 ...AMES: I'll see you at National.

BREAN NODS, AND EXITS.

HOLD ON AMES.
HE HEARS SOMETHING, AND TURNS.

ANGLE
HIS POV.
A YOUNG STAFFER, IN THE CORNER, SPEAKING SOFTLY ON THE PHONE.

STAFFER (ON PHONE): Tell him, well, tell him we, I know we just signed it, but we're going to cancel it. (PAUSE) Because, because we're not going to be staying here the next four years. (PAUSE) Well, I can't tell you on the phone.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This is what satire does best: poke fun at our humanness.

Wag the Dog (1997)(10/4/96 draft)
by David Mamet
Based on the book, "American Hero," by Larry Beinhart

TODAY'S NUGGET: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004) - The Discipline of Comedy

[Quick Summary: Ron Burgandy, 1970s lead news anchor, is thrown for a loop when Alicia Corningstone, a new woman reporter, joins the staff.]

4 THOUGHTS:

1)  Sometimes the key to satire is to stay fairly close to the source. "Anchorman," like "This Is Spinal Tap," works best when it's only a degree or two removed from the excesses of the real thing.

2)  If the movie simply focused on making Ron and his team look ridiculous, it might grow tedious, because that would be such an easy thing to do. But it has a kind of sweetness to it.

3)  I like that nothing is off limits in this 1st draft.  There's a very different ending.  The jokes and tangents are unpolished.  However, the basic structure IS there.  The writers DO have something to say.

4) Combining #2 & 3 above: This draft does focus on making Ron ridiculous.  The innuendos are repetitive and tedious, and sweetness is missing. 

These writers were experienced enough to allow themselves the space to buckshot a first draft. Good writing only springs from much rewriting of bad writing.

Here is an example of a tedious scene that was deleted/changed: 

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE, aka: the striking woman from the night before, walks through the door.

BRIAN FANTANA: What the frig...?

CHAMP KIND: That's a lady!

Ron is blown away.

MUSIC: "YOU MAKE ME SO VERY HAPPY" by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

RON: My sweat vision...

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Oh my dearest Ron. My sex moose, take me right now on this conference table!

RON: I am engorged!

They jump on each other.

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: We are doing this right now with no shame!

RON: Let's make a baby!

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Get nasty on me! Break the law!

RON: It's jazz, baby! Jazz!!

They fall back and smash through the conference table while everyone applauds.

SMASH CUT BACK TO:

Back to reality from Ron's fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Comedy requires the discipline of trying, correcting, risking, correcting, trying again.  Only newbies expect good writing from the start.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004)(1st draft revised, 5/12/02)
by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay

TODAY'S NUGGET: To Die For (1995) - Buck Henry, Masterful Wielder of Words for Impact

[Quick Summary: Suzanne Stone will do anything to be on tv, including killing her husband.]

HOLY COW, this was a good read.

First, there is no doubt what Suzanne is all about - Suzanne on tv.

Second, she is a strong character: cold, a good manipulator, but not particularly smart. That's a dangerous combination.

Third, Buck Henry is an amazingly assured writer who knows how to wield words for the most impact.

Example #1: Here, he moves the reader quickly through a house, as the intruder did:

EXT. SUZANNE AND LARRY MARETTO'S CONDO

MOVE across the yard, up through a second floor window into the bedroom, out onto the landing and down the stairs to the front hallway, slowing to SEE a section of carpet near the front door that is a different color from the rest of the carpet, lighter, as though that section has been scrubbed clean. LOOK AT IT and BACK AWAY out the front door and TILT up at the blue sky and:
                                                                       DISSOLVE THROUGH TO:

Example #2: Here, he garners some sympathy for Suzanne. Despite her odd, cold behavior, and husband Larry who enables it, no one seems to appreciate her dream.

INT. SUZANNE AND LARRY'S CONDO - LIVING ROOM

...Angela Maretto lets out a shriek and her hand goes to her mouth.

ANGELA MARETTO: Joe -- Joe --

JOE MARETTO: Are we talking about - ?

CAROL STONE: Oh honey, when did you - ?

SUZANNE: Wait wait WAIT -- CUT. CUT! It's not that!

ANGELA MARETTO: You're not --?

SUZANNE: I'm not pregnant, for god's sake.

She laughs. They all look at her. Larry puts his arm around her.

LARRY: Suzie's got a job.

EARL STONE: What?

LARRY: Over at WWEN. First woman they've ever hired. Is that right?

SUZANNE: That's right.

LARRY: Our Suzie's on her way and nothing can stop her now.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When words are this sharp and this well-honed,  it is not just skill but countless hours of bloody work. Also, it is a 4th (not 1st) draft.

To Die For (1995)(4th draft, 10/25/93)
by Buck Henry
Adapted from the book by Joyce Maynard

2020 OSCARS: JoJo Rabbit (2019) - Using an Imaginary Friend

[Quick Summary: JoJo is a 10 y.o. Nazi-in-training with an imaginary friend called Hitler who is conflicted when he finds a young Jewish girl hiding in his house.]

I thought it was clever to use the imaginary friend to do a couple things:

a) question Jojo so we could hear his thinking process

b) comfort, advise, and make sense of the world for Jojo, which would be natural since he is Jojo's hero.

I also like that all the ridiculous stuff is there to make a point.

ex. EXT. WOODS - DAY

...VOICE (O.S.): Poor Jojo, what's wrong, little man?

 Jojo turns around, it's Adolf.

JOJO: Hi Adolf.

Adolf takes a seat.

ADOLF: Why so down in the dumps? A strong boy like yourself shouldn't be sad, you should be happy like a cloud!  Clouds don't care about anything!  [A's question allows us to hear J's inner reasoning.]

JOJO: They called me a coward. And my papa, they say he makes desserts instead of fighting. But I know he's still fighting, for you, for me, and for Germany.

ADOLF: Oh, of course he is! And he is also making nice desserts, nothing wrong with that. My God, his custard tarts are the only thing keeping up morale at the front. (beat) Want to tell me about the rabbit incident? What was that all about?  [A plays it serious, so it's funny & points out his ridiculous priorities. A's question leads to J admitting failure.]

JOJO: They wanted me to kill it. I'm sorry.

ADOLF: Meh, don't worry about it. I couldn't care less. Just like a cloud.

JOJO: But now they call me a scared rabbit.

ADOLF: Well you want to know something? (off Jojo's nod) Just because they're small and delightfully cute doesn't mean rabbits are cowards. The rabbit faces a dangerous world everyday, hunting carrots for his family...for his country. Forget those boys. They have their place and so do you. My empire will be made up of all animals, eagles, lions, elephants, and even the mighty rabbit. [A comforts & encourages J.]

Adolf offers Jojo a cigarette.

JOJO: No thanks, I don't sm--

ADOLF: Can I give you some really good advice? Be the rabbit. The humble bunny can outwit all his enemies and that is why he is a hero. Be. The. Rabbit. [A gives J good advice, which we agree with but also makes us uneasy.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I never thought to use of the imaginary friend to give advice, much less good advice.

However, it's quite effective in making me consider, "Why do I like this guy? Do I trust him?"

JoJo Rabbit (2019)(2/8/19)
by Taika Waititi
Based on the book "Caging Skies" by Christine Leunens

TODAY'S NUGGET: Fierce Creatures (1997) - Exaggeration is Helpful for Satire

[Quick Summary: After a corporation buys a zoo and tries to corporatize it, the keepers rebel.]

WHAT I DIDN'T LIKE: The second half of the script was a little strained.

WHAT I DID LIKE: The first half was much more solid, especially the use of exaggeration to emphasize the irony of a situation.

In the scene below, Octopus, Inc. has bought a zoo and wants to increase profits. 

Its executive, Rollo, has decreed that only Fierce Animals will draw crowds and will be allowed to stay.

Note the use of exaggeration and contrast, which makes us laugh.

ex. "EXT. COATIMUNDI ENCLOSURE AND ENVIRONS. DAY

ROLLO stands arguing with SYDNEY, PIP, DEREK, HUGH and others.  SYDNEY is inside the enclosure, holding a chair, which he occasionally uses, lion-tamer style.

ROLLO: Fierce??! That coatimundi...

He indiciates a Coatimundi, which is watching in a friendly manner. [A lion-tamer chair for a 2 foot, 8 lb. animal?!]

SYDNEY: It's a wild animal, sir. It's not domesticated.

ROLLO: Neither's a house fly and I wouldn't call that savage.

SYDNEY: You take a liberty with him and he'll give you a nasty nip. [Trying to make him sound ferocious.]

ROLLO: A safety pin could give me a nasty nip Lotterby. I'll tell you what's fierce: fierce is taking your whole hand off.

KEEPERS: Whole hand!?! No! Impossible! No!! [Aghast reactions are funny.]

ROLLO: (Walking away) Lotterby, could I have a word with you over here please

HUGH: It is all right if it wrenches the hand off?? [More exaggeration to make the animal sound fierce.]

ROLLO: Oh yes.

HUGH: Phew.

SYDNEY: (Showing a scar) That's what a coati did to me. Look! [Big exaggeration compared to the likely small scar.]

ROLLO: I'm surprised you lived. Now... 

ROLLO and SYDNEY have arrived at some cages. SYDNEY looks at them, winces, and then puts on a very positive, cheerful polite act.

ROLLO: ...These are your meerkats, correct?

SYDNEY: Er...yes sir.

ROLLO: (Pointing) On the new plaque here it says ... they're known as the 'Piranhas of the Desert'? Is that right? [Good exaggerated visual.]

SYDNEY: Yes sir, they can strip a human carcass in three minutes.  [Blood thirsty description!]

ROLLO: (Pulling out a book) My encyclopedia says they're easy to tame and are often kept as pets. (He shows SYDNEY the page) See?  [I like the contrast of 'tame' vs. 'piranha'.]

SYDNEY: Well, you haven't been attacked by one sir.

ROLLO: Nobody's been attacked by one, Lotterby (He moves on) Or if they have, they didn't notice... [He calls Sydney on the unlikely possibility of an attack.]

SYDNEY: They've got diabolical temperaments, sir..." [I give credit to Sydney for his commitment to his mission.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I laughed because the keepers created such an exaggerated fiction compared to the modest reality.  It was just simply ridiculous.

Fierce Creatures (1997)(9th draft, 4/4/95; originally titled Strictly Confidential)
by John Cleese and Iain Johnstone

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Stunt Man (1980) - Strengthening a Good Turning Point/Reveal

[Quick Summary: After he barely escapes arresting officers, Cameron stumbles onto a film shoot, where he is hired to be a stunt man.]

I got a headache after reading this script.  I felt frustrated and manipulated.

Roger Ebert explains why much better than I can:

Railsback begins to suspect that O'Toole really wants to kill him, either in the service of cinematic art or for some sadistic private purpose. And that is essentially the situation the film repeats, over and over, scene after scene, all the way to the end.

That's what bothered me. I caught on right away (it didn't take much deep thought) that the method of the movie was to deceive and mislead me. Because the ability to do that is completely within the director's ability-because I can know only what he chooses to tell me-I found the movie's approach more frustrating than challenging.

Did I like anything? I did like the turning point/reveal below. 

In this scene, Cameron (protagonist) and Henry (assistant cameraman) talk about Eli Cross (director). Cameron thinks only Eli knows Cameron's secret.

ex. "INT. HOTEL BAR - LATE NIGHT

...CAMERON: Ya quittin'?

HENRY: Fuckin' A. Gettin' out tonight. But not without splittin' a Schlitz with the one guy, 'cept me, who wouldn't take shit from that screwball.

As the BARTENDER is taking away the empties, Henry puts his finger down on a DIME.

HENRY (cont'd): Change is for you, except that. That's a very special dime. (holds it up for Cameron to see) Know what this is? Ask me!

CAMERON: It's a dime...am I close?

HENRY: It's Eli Cross' ass. People think 'cause you're easygoin' they can walk all over you. Bull-shit...I'm blowin' the whistle with this dime in that phone...killin' a man and hiding it from the police...are you kiddin'...? Who is he think he is? [Oh no! Does Henry know Cameron's secret too?]

Cameron pales, knowing that drunken Henry's desire for revenge can expose him to the police. He grabs the dime from Henry's fingers and drops it into a PEANUT VENDING MACHINE. [Cameron jumps to the logical conclusion, i.e., He thinks it's me.]

HENRY: What the hell you doin'?

They have reached the HOTEL DOORWAY. By now, Henry is convinced Cameron means business. He stops.

HENRY: Do whatever you wanna do, but I better do it with ya! You'll need help 'cause that goddamn looney is dangerous.

CAMERON (blustering): Not to me, he ain't. I'm going to the cops. You gotta earn your living in pictures, but I don't give a shit. He can't hurt me.

HENRY: Don't be too sure. Damned psycho nearly strangled me! Don't believe me? Wanna see marks...?(tears open shirt collar to show bruises) ...Lucky to be alive!

CAMERON (confused): Henry, what are you talking about? I watched that whole thing today, he didn't even touch you.

HENRY: Not today. When Burt went into the water. (Cameron is wide-eyed) [Wow! Henry was talking about Eli's secret, not Cameron's secret. This is a great reveal and reversal of our expectations.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It really helps that Cameron jumps to the most logical conclusion first ("Henry thinks I'm the killer").

It makes the reveal stronger (Henry is talking about Eli) and the reverses our expectations.

The Stunt Man (1980)(final shooting draft)
by Lawrence B. Marcus
Adaptation by Richard Rush
Based on the novel by Paul Brodeur