[Quick Summary: Quint steals and stashes evidence in Black Moon, a
prototype car which has been stolen, and must break into a chop shop
fortress to retrieve it.]
TWO THOUGHTS: [Sorry for the length of the post, but the example is long.]
2) EMOTIONALLY JUSTIFYING THE BIG ACTION SCENE.
OLD DAYS: The writer would first create a character's story ---> He/she may/may not include a big action scene.
TODAY: A director or producer says, "I want a big explosion and a car chase." --> The writer has to create a story around, i.e., justify, the explosion and/or car chase.
So what do you do? You start with character if you're smart. Where is the character emotionally at the Big Action moment? Why is there need for emotional release?
Then you backtrack:
- The goal is the Big Action scene. Where is he/she emotionally?
- Create a conflict that will ramp up your character into that emotional state.
- Create a situation that allows those emotions to surface.
Let's use the scene below as an example.
- Big Action scene: Nina drives a Jag out of an underground garage by the skin-of-her-teeth.
- This scene releases all the tension of the scenes that have come before.
- Where is she emotionally? Needs release from anger at Ryland, her boss.
- What conflict would allow those emotions to surface? She is angry at Ryland. Indebted. Unappreciated. Disrespected.
- What situation would show that she's angry, indebted, unappreciated, disrespected? A scene where Nina conflicts with Ryland. She wants independence. He wins the argument. She is steaming.
ex. "INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
...She indicates an apparatus on the engine wall.
TECHNICIAN: Runs on hydrogen?
NINA: Runs on something. [Nina is smart, confident.]
Another Technician runs his hand along the car body.
SECOND TECHNICIAN: It's so light.
NINA: It's a composite of some kind, probably carbon fiber. [She knows what she's talking about.]
She moves to the rear of the car, checks the parachute holder.
NINA: It's got a parachute. It needs it.
She looks down into a notch in the rig - where QUINT stuffed the memory disk. Does she see something there?
RYLAND (O.S.): Interesting machine. What is it?
NINA's exploration is cut short. She looks up as RYLAND strolls over, LUIS right behind him. The Technicians and Mechanics show deference. NINA doesn't bother.
NINA: It's an interesting machine.
RYLAND takes it in.
RYLAND: And what am I supposed to do with it? [He dismisses her opinion.]
NINA: Nothing. It's mine. [She asserts independence.]
RYLAND: I see. You're making these decisions now. [He feels threatened.]
NINA: Just this once. [She backs down a little, knows owes him a debt.]
RYLAND: Oh. Good. For a moment there I thought you were after my job. [He makes a joke but still dominates.]
He smiles. LUIS laughs. Others laugh. RYLAND's eyes never leave NINA. She matches him stare for stare.
RYLAND: I understand there was a problem. [He's probing to test loyalty.]
NINA: What do you mean?
RYLAND doesn't reply. The silence is his reply. All eyes are on NINA now.
NINA: A guy tried to follow me. I lost him.
RYLAND: Did you?
NINA: Yes.
RYLAND: There was a man in the outer garage right after you got in. Coincidence? [He doesn't believe her. Is she helping Quint?]
NINA: I lost him.
RYLAND: So it was a coincidence.
NINA says nothing.
RYLAND: A car like this attracts attention. Did you think about that? [He is unappreciative.]
NINA: I brought in half your goddamn order tonight.
RYLAND: I'm talking about this one! [He scolds her for independent thinking.]
He slams the hood of the Black Moon.
RYLAND: This is a business, Nina. We don't take "trophies." [He shames her.]
NINA: Fine, then do what you want with it. [She's mad.]
She's as angry as he is. She turns and stomps away across the plant floor. RYLAND calls after her.
RYLAND: I have your permission, do I? [He dominates with the last word.]
NINA stops, turns. If looks could kill.
RYLAND meets her look. The plant has gone silent, everyone watching, anticipating an explosion.
NINA turns away. This isn't the time or the place. She heads across the floor. Crisis averted.
RYLAND, the winner of the round, gives the Black Moon a gentle pat.
RYLAND: Quite a car.
...
INT. UNDERGROUND ASSEMBLY PLANT
NINA steers a sleek E-Type Jaguar across the busy plant floor toward the garage wall exit gate. She stops by a control box with a speaker and video camera attached. She looks into the camera.
NINA: Open the door, Richard.
No response. Then...
VOICE: One moment.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND is transferring numbers from his clicking Telex Machine into his computer. There's a buzz. He responds.
RYLAND: What?
NINA: Nina's leaving.
RYLAND instantly activates one of his monitors. The image of NINA in the Jag materializes.
RYLAND: Where are you going?
She shows her frustration.
NINA: Jesus Christ, out!
RYLAND: I want to see you. [He demands obedience.]
NINA: Later.
RYLAND: Now!
INT. PLANT
NINA speaks straight to the video camera, her voice quiet but intense.
NINA: No. [She defies him. Earlier, we saw why there's anger built up (setup). This is the payoff.]
She suddenly jams the car into reverse. The tires squeel. The Jag screeches backwards across the plant floor.
Started Mechanics and Technicians turn to see what's up.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
He punches up a row of monitors trying to keep NINA in view. He picks her up as the car brakes sharply near the head of the assembly area.
RYLAND: What the hell are you doing?
INT. JAG
NINA throws the car into forward gear, steps on the accelerator. The car shoots ahead.
The audience reacts. She's heading all out for the wall.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
RYLAND reacts.
RYLAND: Nina! [He has personal feelings for Nina.]
INT. JAG
NINA's unwavering. He hands are clamped the wheel, her face is calm. The car rushes toward the wall.
RYLAND'S VOICE: NINA!!
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE/PLANT/JAG
RYLAND reaches for the wall door switch, hesitates.
The gap narrows.
The crew looks on, breathless.
NINA'S not going to stop.
RYLAND stares at his monitors.
The Jag nears the wall
RYLAND throws the switch.
The wall door starts to rise.
NINA doesn't let up.
RYLAND watches, stunned by what's happening.
The Jag scrapes just under the rising door, clearing by inches.
NINA lets out a long held breath.
The Mechanics and Technicians burst out of their tense silence. Some applaud, some cheer, everyone's buzzing. [Relief. All the emotions are released.]
RYLAND is trembling. Beads of sweat rim his forehead.
The wall door starts down again.
EXT. RYLAND TOWERS - DAY
The Jag roars out of the parking garage into the cul de sac.
INT. RYLAND'S OFFICE - DAY
LUIS comes in with a handful of business papers. RYLAND'S still shaking.
RYLAND: Get out! [He is mad that she won the war.]
Luis goes."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The most effective Big Action scenes have a good amount of setup beforehand, both emotionally and plot wise.
Black Moon Rising (1986)(2nd draft, dated 12/19/84)
by John Carpenter and William Gray
Story by John Carpenter
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