[Quick Summary: In South America, an American wife hires a negotiator to arrange for the release of her husband, an engineer who was kidnapped.]
Q: How do you make the audience feel for the protagonist in an action thriller?
A: Danger and personal stakes are well worn tropes.
Q: But I have a dangerous situation in my script and it doesn't work. Why?
A: Perhaps there isn't enough jeopardy, i.e., the possibility that the protagonist could lose.
Q: Could you give me a good example of this see-sawing feeling?
A: I think Tony Gilroy scripts do a great job of making the audience feel they're constantly on the back foot and never assured of success.
For example, today's script stacks the deck against us:
- It is set in a foreign location where language and culture are barriers.
- A crime (kidnapping) has occurred to Alice's husband, a civil engineer.
- Alice has no experience with terrorists.
- Her only hope is Terry is a hardened, experienced negotiator, who at one point, walks away from helping her.
- A more specific example is the scene below, which happens early in the script to start us realizing that the margin of error is very thin in Terry's job.
- Here, Terry has just made the trade for the hostage, Lenoir.
- Notice how the hope-fear-hope-fear that doesn't let the reader off the hook easily.
- Also notice that how this scene establishes Terry's ability and credibility.
TERRY'S JEEP -- THE LOCAL DRIVER -- stuck in the mud -- panic making it worse - -just finding traction as TRACER ROUNDS tear into him and --
THE TWO CHECHEN TANKS searching for targets --
TERRY still coming -- waving a sidearm at THE CHOPPER PILOT -- "don't move!" -- dragging LENOIR in under the rotors -- [We are hoping Terry will succeed.]
A RUSSIAN JEEP EXPLODING behind them and --
INSIDE THE CHOPPER -- total chaos -- LENOIR scrambling in -- THE PILOT SCREAMING IN SLAVIC -- he's freaking out -- pulling up already -- too soon because -- [Fear: Oh no! Don't go!]
TERRY hasn't cleared the threshold -- tossed back -- head slammed against the door as he falls -- rocked -- grabbing at the doorframe -- hanging there! -- nothing but instinct keeping him from falling and -- [Hope: He's hanging in there.]
THE GROUND pulling away and --
LENOIR reaching for TERRY -- trying -- but THE PILOT -- there's something wrong -- something new -- no time -- suddenly he's jerking the stick and --
THE CHOPPER spilling sharply to one side and --
TERRY falling -- falling into the cockpit and -- [Fear: Oh noooo!]
WHOOOOOSK! -- AN ANTI-TANK ROCKET -- a blur -- already on them -- already past -- they've been hit! -- creased -- A LANDING SKID torn away from the undercarriage! -- the helicopter tilting -- overreacting -- stalling -- for a moment it looks like they're beating it in and --
THE PILOT fighting to keep it up -- CURSING AND SPUTTERING IN SLOVAK -- LENOIR rolling on the floor in pain -- his bandaged hand crushed in the turbulence and -- [Lots more fear. This will not end well.]
FINALLY TO
TERRY pulling himself into a window seat. He's dazed. Looking down as the earth begins to pull away. As the chopper starts to level off. [Whew! Hope. Leveling off is good.]
TERRY wiping at the blood from a deep cut above his eye. Wiping it away so he can see. Trying to get a grip. To focus. Something.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: For that gut wrenching feeling, discomfort and the possibility of not succeeding must reign.
Proof of Life (2000)(7/6/99 draft)
by Tony Gilroy
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