[Quick Summary: After a big city boy asks her out, a lonely grade school teacher, who lives with her mother, starts to daydream about where her life is going.]
Though he's read thousands of scripts, Black List founder Franklin Leonard recently said that he still looks for scripts that "transport" him somewhere.
But what does that look like on the page?
This week's script is a good example of transporting us into a character's head because it made the unfamiliar very familiar in a few sentences.
FYI: I will note that this wonderfulness does come with some messiness. We are in Rachel's POV, which is subjective, moody, and prone to tangents.
As a result, the story was sometimes jumbled and weird. (But perhaps that's the point? After all this IS called "Rachel, Rachel.")
I liked the scene below, which instantly makes the unfamiliar familiar:
- This is the first time we see Rachel's mother in her own social setting.
- Within a few short sentences, we know the relationship between these women is long standing, competitive, and a relief from daily life (eating, smoking).
- We know Mother is concerned about appearances ("company eyeglasses," "elfin frames of delphinium blue" says a lot in a few words).
- Though I may not know these characters, I know this situation of playing games at someone else's house. It felt like I was sitting at this table.
INT. DINING ROOM - CLOSE SHOT - MOTHER - NIGHT
It is later now. Mother looks cute with her curly hair and "company eyeglasses", with their elfin frames of delphinium blue.
MOTHER: Oh, Verla! You're not going to no-trump!
CAMERA PULLS BACK to show Mother playing bridge at the dining-room table with her cronies, VERLA, FLORENCE, and HOLLY. They have consumed everything on the platter and are smoking up a storm.
VERLA: Now don't be a sore loser, May. When you come to my house, you can win!
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I am impressed by the speed which I simply felt I dropped into this scene. It is a masterful economy of writing.
Rachel, Rachel (1968)
by Stewart Stern
Based on the novel "A Jest of God", by Margaret Laurence
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