[Quick Summary: Mobster Mike lures Bags, an awful boxer, and Shake, his corner guy, into training at Pop's gym, in hopes of getting his hands on the gym.]
Let me say it from the start: Not everyone can (or likes to) write comedy. But why?
Director Alexander MacKendrick put it very elegantly:
‘Comedy is hard’ (last words of Edmund Kean). Comedy plays best in the mastershot. Comic structure is simply dramatic structure but MORE SO: neater, shorter, faster. Don’t attempt comedy until you are really expert in structuring dramatic material.MacKendrick says it very elegantly above, but I'd never understood what he meant until I had to write one myself. (emphasis mine)
I still didn't understand what he meant until I took a stab myself. I discovered what one can only discover by doing it: There is an unforgiving rhythm to comedy.*
The truth of "neater, shorter, faster" can be seen in today's script, one of two, which comedian/writer Tim Conway wrote for himself and friend Don Knotts.
In this story, Bags (Conway) and Shake (Knotts) are being set up for a fall.
In the scene below:
-Notice how neat, short, fast the sentences read. Great economy of writing.
-Notice how it keeps our eye moving around the room (setup).
-I underlined the payoff. Why is it funny? He wins with eyes closed, which the audience knows is impossible and unexpected...unless it's fixed.
INT. CARNIVAL TENT RING - NIGHT
...MIKE
takes a real interest in what's happening with the ring work Bags has come up with. The Champ actually takes a few pokes at Bags but can't seem to catch up to him. Mike leans forward. He likes what he sees. He whispers to Flower. Flower signals the SECOND in the Champ's corner. The Second gets the message.
SECOND (to Champ): Hey, Mule...
He motions to him with a thumbs down signal. The Champ questions it by looking to Mike. Mike nods his head in agreement. The Champ shrugs his shoulders and moves to Bags. He beings to corner Bags so he has no choice but to hit the Champ. He does so with his eyes closed. The Champ goes down. The crowd yells for him. Bags opens his eyes. He sees the Champ down and out. He bends over to help him.
BAGS: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, honest.
The Champ looks at him with one eye like, what the hell is the matter with you.
Shake is wide-eyed. He can't believe it. Jimmy goes to Bags and holds his hand high.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In a drama, you have a lot more leeway with time. The rhythm can ebb and flow at leisure, like waves on a beach.
In a comedy, you have little leeway. The rhythm is much more structured, insistent, demanding, like a military march.
The Prize Fighter (1979)
by Tim Conway and John Myhers
Story by Tim Conway
*Writers, please DO NOT take my word for it. Please try it out for yourself and see if comedy fits you or not. Scientific method the heck out of it.
This a-ha! moment is brought to you by Years of My Own Pain.
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