TODAY'S NUGGET: Coming to America (1988) - Misunderstandings Keep Lovers Apart

[Quick Summary: Akeem, a Zamunda African prince, comes to America with his bodyguard Semmi to look for an independent thinking bride.]

I liked that the writers did not make it easy for Akeem to win the girl. 

Here, they used misunderstandings (cultural, male vs. female) to keep them apart.

(Misunderstandings also are key to a fish-out-of-water story.)
 
In the scene below:
- Akeem has just overheard teenage girls swooning over a Prince magazine cover.
- He assumes that all women find Prince attractive.
- He assumes Lisa would like a big public display, though he doesn't know her well.

ex. "INT. BLACK AWARENESS DINNER - NIGHT

...Akeem slides into the room on his knees in full Prince attire: open ruffled shirt, fishnet stockings, stacked heels, make-up, curl of hair dangling in his eyes.

ON CROWD

Everyone in the room gazes at him in open-mouthed amazement.

ON AKEEM

Akeem gets up and shimmies across the floor, licking his fingers, rubbing his hands all over his body.

ON LISA

Lisa looks at him like he's crazy.

ON AKEEM

Akeem drops to the floor and slithers toward her on his belly, moving in time with the sensual music, humping the floor like a reptile in heat.

ANGLES ON LISA AND AKEEM

He wriggles up to her, lying at her feet, flicking his tongue.

Lisa stares at him, astounded, repulsed.

Akeem speaks in a low, breathy Prince-like moan.

AKEEM: Let us become one, Lisa.

 LISA (calmly): I don't think so.

He tries to lick her knee

LISA (evenly): Don't. Don't even think about it.

He wriggles half-heartedly.

LISA (coolly): Go away.

All the bravado drains from Akeem's face. He slithers back out of the room as inconspicuously as possible."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This misunderstanding works because it came from character.

Akeem has had little contact with the middle class, and his assumptions show it.

Coming to America (1988)(shooting script w/revisions, 10/21/87)
by David Sheffield & Barry W. Blaustein
Story by Eddie Murphy

TODAY'S NUGGET: Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) - What I Look For in a Sequel

[Quick Summary: After his friend Capt. Bogomil, is shot while following up on a hot tip, Axel Foley hightails it to LA to track down the culprits.]

When a sequel comes along, I want to know:

1) Did they understand what made the first movie work?
2) Did they deliver that again here?

In this sequel:

1) Foley was funny in first film, especially with LA cops Rosewood and Taggart. They overcame big obstacles together as a team.
2) Not really. Foley is not that funny and does not seem to have difficulty overcoming obstacles.  The script seems more interested in explosions, car chases.

The one thing that worked was the team dynamic of how Foley is always dragging Rosewood and Taggart into his schemes.

I liked the scene below because it is funny and reminiscent of the first film.

We know very well that Foley is up to something crazy but Rosewood and Taggart are willing, if reluctant, accomplices.

ex. "EXT. ROSENBERG MANSION - DAY

Taggart and Rosewood stand staring up at the gates.

TAGGART: This has GOT to be a mistake.

ROSEWOOD: There's his car.

Way up the driveway. There it is.

TAGGART (very nervous): Billie, if he's here, he must be robbing the place.

He pulls his gun. They walk cautiously up the long driveway. CAMERA HINGES to see:

WILLIE AND MAY'S CAR parked down the street a couple blocks."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The writers tried, really tried, but sometimes you can't recapture funny in a bottle.

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)(shooting script, 10/24/86 w/revisions)
by Larry Ferguson and Warren Skaaren

TODAY'S NUGGET: Beverly Hills Cop (1984) - Excellent Clarity + Character in an Action Sequence

[Quick Summary: When his childhood friend is gunned down in Detroit, cop Axel Foley travels to Beverly Hills to locate the goons who killed his friend.]

This script reads lickety split.  It is such a pleasure.

It especially shines in its clarity of story spine while allowing great character work.

For example, in the semi-truck chase below:
- Axel is a fast thinking, fast talking cop, in the first few lines. [character]
- When things go south with the two cons, Axel does not give up and hangs on to them, which he literally does in this scene. [character]
- There is even great character work without dialogue. ex. Axel chooses not to listen the cop (get offa there!) in order to nail these cons.  [character]
- Notice how clear the story spine is despite the multiple characters, action, guns, etc.  We're focused on Axel -- hang on Axel!

ex. "IN THE CAB

Mirsky has the engine running. He stares out the side view mirror at the cops walking toward the truck. He licks his lips and puts the truck into gear, ready to take off.

AXEL

tries to play it cool.

AXEL: Are we glad to see you! You want to call us a tow? We threw a bearing.

The second cop has been staring at Axel.

SECOND COP: Don't I know you from someplace?

FIRST COP: Both you guys, break out some I.D.

CARLOTTA

panics and runs toward a pickup truck parked across the street. The cops draw their guns.

FIRST COP: Freeze!

But Carlotta keeps running. The first cop chases after him.

ANGLE ON THE TRUCK'S CAB

Mirsky lets out the clutch and the rig jerks forward.

AXEL

is still standing on the bed of the rear trailer of the moving truck. The second cop yells at him --

SECOND COP: Get down offa there!

--but Axel stays right where he is, hanging on as the truck gains speed. The second cop fires a warning shot; Axel braces himself at the side of the trailer to offer a narrow target but now the truck is going about 40 as it takes the next corner and

THE REAR TRAILER

bounces up over the curb as the truck cuts the corner too close. It looks like the truck is going to jackknife, but instead it comes out of the turn gathering more speed.

AXEL

is nearly thrown off the rear of the truck, but he hangs on."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't forget clarity when trying to jazz up the character.

I've seen scripts that get so lost in trying to be funny that it lacks clarity.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)(shooting script, 5/14/84)
by Daniel Petrie, Jr. (with Martin Brest pages)

TODAY'S NUGGET: Black Cat Run (1998 TV movie) - Setting Up a 2nd Chase

[Quick Summary: Pursued by a deputy with a score to settle, an amateur car racer chases after a gang of escaped cons who have kidnapped his girlfriend.]

I knew about writer-director Frank Darabont for his well known adaptations (Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile, The Walking Dead).

However, this was the first original story and script of his that I'd ever seen before.

This is a chase story which takes up about 3/4 of the script.

How do you keep the audience emotionally engaged that long?

It's hard enough when there is one chase, but when there are TWO chases?

In one word: Stakes.

For example, in this script:

Setup for 1st CHASE:
- Johnny pumps gas at his dad's station. Sara believes in his big dreams. 
- When Sara Jane is kidnapped by escaped cons, Johnny chases after them. 
- I have no problem believing this chase because Johnny loves Sara

Setup for 2nd CHASE:
- The writers wanted someone to chase Johnny to increase the tension.
- But why would anyone chase Johnny?
- The writers needed a character who wasn't entirely objective and took things very personally, i.e., Norm, the deputy sheriff who wants to date Sara.
- What are the stakes for Norm?  Ego (so strong that it lasts 3/4 the script!)
- Note in the scene below how the writer sets it up so we believe that Norm is the pig headed type who could easily be stirred up into chasing after Johnny.

ex. "EXT. HADDONTON - DAY

...NORM: Howdy, Sara Jane. You're lookin' mighty pretty today.

SARA: Norm. What are you doing here?

NORM: Oh, just about to go on duty. Thought I'd stop by and have me a few words with the Sheriff.

SARA: Oh? About what?

NORM: Oh...things. This and that. By the way, what'd you think of that race today? Wasn't that somethin'?

SARA (wary): What race is that, Norm?

NORM: That race I won. The race Johnny Del Grissom took you to.

She stares at him with distaste, making a huge effort to keep her voice level.

SARA: I think you must be mistaken.

NORM: C'mon darlin' you didn't think that crouchin' down in that towtruck like that was gonna fool me, even for an instant, did you?

He moves in close, pressing her against the wall of the house, putting his face close to hers.

NORM: Just what were you doin' to that boy all crouched down like that?

She tries to slap him, but he catches her by the wrist. He kisses her fingers lightly, then presses her hand back against the wall and holds it there. Their eyes locked all the while.

NORM: Sara Jane...darlin'...the day's gonna come...soon...when you're gonna wish you'd been a lot nicer to ol' Norm Babbitt.

She spits in his face.

SARA: This ain't the day.

NORM: I can see that.

He releases her and very calmly wipes his face with his sleeve.

NORM: But the day will come.

He turns and heads for his patrol car, tipping his hat jauntily.

NORM: Awful nice to see you again, Sara Jane. Have a nice day now, y'hear?

Disgusted, she turns and enters the house."

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite that it is mostly chase scenes, I think the script read so quickly because the stakes were so well defined from the start.

Black Cat Run (1998 TV movie)(undated draft)
by Frank Darabont
Story by Frank Darabont & Douglas Venturelli

TODAY'S NUGGET: Greedy (1994) - Putting a "Button" on a Comedy Scene

[Quick Summary: When rich old Uncle Joe hires a "nurse," the estranged family lures back his favorite nephew, Daniel Jr., in hopes that he can get rid of the nurse.]

I'm sure someone else can define better the "button" of a comedy scene.

For me, it's the last joke of the scene that:

1) "bursts the tension bubble" of the build up and sums up the scene, and
2) sends us off with a laugh.

No one does it better than Ganz & Mandel.

Note in the example below:
- Rich old Uncle Joe is descending in an open elevator. 
- Carl and his family, one of Uncle's bloodsucking family members, descends beside him on the staircase.
- Carl touts the success of his nine year old son, named after Uncle. [build up of hot air, tension]
- Then the nine year old has the button line.  [bursts the balloon!]

ex. "INT. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY

...During the preceding, Douglas has pushed the chair into a small ELEVATOR CAGE.  There's only room in it for Douglas and Joe in the chair. The elevator cage slowly descends, leaving the others on the landing. [This chase builds the tension.]

NINE-YEAR-OLD: Why don't we just cut the cable?

NORA: Ssh!

Carl and Nora look at each other, then at the elevator...

CARL (sotto): It's too thick.

The family descends a spiral staircase which surrounds the elevator. They hurry to keep up.

CARL (CONT'D): Did you hear what happened to General Fruit Company? the old man died and he left it to his son --who had no head for business -- and eight months later, they were bankrupt --the work of a lifetime, down the drain. You should see how Big Joe -- our Big Joe -- what a head for business he has. Already -- just nine years old -- he organized this snow-shoveling company with the other fourth graders. It was amazing. [Carl touts Big Joe's accomplishments to make an unspoken good impression on Uncle.]

They've all reached the bottom Joe comes off the elevator.

JOE (to the nine-year-old): So, you're interested in money.

NINE-YEAR-OLD: Uh-huh. I made ten bucks just comin' here. [Button: His admission points out how desperate his parents are to make a good impression!]

His parents GASP." [We laugh at the audacity. We know the scene has ended.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The "button" does more than make us laugh as a punchline.  It's also a valuable tool to skewer, prick the tension balloon, add irony, reverse expectations, etc.

Greedy (1994)(pre-production draft, 4/14/93)
by Lowell Ganz & Babaloo Mandel