TODAY'S NUGGET: Bean (1997) - Sometimes Comedy Scenes Do Not Translate

[Quick Summary: Bean, a clumsy employee from the National Gallery, causes havoc when he is lent to a LA museum to help with the arrival of "Whistler's Mother."]

I think Stephen Fry nailed the differences between UK & US comedy:
- UK comedy is about character and US comedy is about jokes.
- UK likes to poke fun at themselves. US has a hard time.
- UK likes the loser hero. US almost always is a hero hero.

My advice is ALWAYS write whatever is funniest to you.

However, writers should realize that others may not get it.

For example, this script has many funny scenes, but the one below irritated me. 

In this scene:
- David and family are hosting Bean, but have missed him at the airport.
- Bean arrives first at their home, enters, and pokes around.
- Family comes home, but do not realize Bean is in the house.
- UK readers, help me out: What is the point? I know everything does not have to push plot forward, but how is this funny or tell me more of character (vs. gross)?

INT. THE LEARY HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

The light is on. DAVID takes a deep breath. Bad night. He picks up an empty coffee jar, sighs and goes into the pantry [for] a full one. BEAN enters. He opens the refrigerator and he studies the food on offer. Nothing he fancies...then he sees a single meatball on a plate.

He picks it up - a little nervously - and pops it whole into his mouth. He has a little suck - doesn't like it one bit - and so takes it out - and puts it back on the plate, closes the fridge door, and exits...

...just as DAVID comes out of the pantry. Close on BEAN's hand as it comes round the door frame and turns off the light. DAVID, on the move, stubs his toe on a chair. He groans in pain, limps to the fridge. He spots the lone, already-sucked meatball and pops it in his mouth.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Some scenes did not land for me - not funny, too long.  

However the script is an amazing 80% non-verbal slapstick (95% for Bean), which likely counts for its success.

Bean (1997)(6/7/96 draft)
by Richard Curtis & Robin Driscoll with Rowan Atkinson

TODAY'S NUGGET: Down With Love (2003) - When Clothes REFLECT Character

[Quick Summary: Barbara Novak, 1960s author of bestseller Down With Love, is set up for a fall by Catcher Block, hot undercover journalist, in a battle of the sexes.]

BAD NEWS: It kind of disappoints in Act 3.

GOOD NEWS: As those who have seen this film several times (like me), you know how the clothes unbelievably perfectly encapsulate/enhance character and tone.

One of the film's best over-the-top moments in the restaurant where Barbara and her editor Vikki walk in and take over, like it's a kitchy 1960s fashion show. 

Notice how Barbara's clothes and movementa proclaim, "Hear me roar!"

INT. THE MAHOGANY ROOM - DAY

....MANTOVANI MOOD MUSIC BEGINS --For even though BARBARA and VIKKI are merely entering the restaurant and taking off their coats, the following is staged like a FASHION SHOW, and is appropriately scored like one.

BARBARA and VIKKI stride like runway models down the entrance steps and freeze, striking a pose. EVERYONE in the restaurant stops to watch.

BARBARA and VIKKI each turn to the left and to the right, and then in one full circle.  They're just taking in the restaurant; we're taking in every perspective of their hats, coats, gloves, shoes and pocketbooks.

BARBARA's coat is one of those just-below-the-knee equilateral triangle numbers, with the matching hat an inverted pyramid on her head. VIKKI's coat is test-tube thin, the matching hat a large flat disk.

Now facing front, they both set their matching pocketbooks on the balustrade at each of their sides and unbutton the giant buttons of their coats, opening them wide so we see the lining, and revealing that underneath they each wear a suit that matches their coats.

The MAITRE D' steps up behind them and slides off their coats, first BARBARA's, then VIKKI's, giving them each a chance to take a solo turn:

So while VIKKI's coat is taken off, BARBARA struts into the restaurant toward the tables with three long strides, freezes again with a pose showing off the suit, then turns and walks back the three long strides to pick up her forgotten pocketbook -- passing by VIKKI who is on her strut forward.

BARBARA waits as VIKKI completes her stride, freeze, pose, turn, and stride back for her pocketbook, then together they follow the MAITRE D' to Catch's booth and are seated.

END MUSIC. FASHION SHOW OVER. EVERYONE resumes lunch.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Showcasing clothes = showcasing how Barbara and Vikki want to be seen as.  It's their internal state on the outside!

Down With Love (2003)(1/22/02 draft)
by Eve Ahlert & Dennis Drake

TODAY'S NUGGET: Kicking & Screaming (2004) - Seeing that 'He's Not Listening'

[Quick Summary: Phil decides to coach his son's soccer team against an opposing team coached by Phil's dad.]

This distant dad-son story unspools exactly as you'd expect.

However, there are nice unexpected moments, like the one below where we see that Phil is not listening and resents his much younger Bucky. 

FYI: "Buck" is their dad.

ex. EXT. BUCK'S BACKYARD - DAY

...They watch Buck for a while.

PHIL: Bucky, how do you do it?

BUCKY: Do what?

PHIL: He just doesn't seem to bother you like he bothers me.

BUCKY: Dad likes pushing your buttons. It's his love language.

PHIL: You know what he calls you? The son he always wanted.

BUCKY: Don't take it so hard.

PHIL: He's like that with you?

BUCKY: Nah. He knows it wouldn't bug me like it bugs you.

PHIL: He's been riding me all my life. When's it going to stop?

 BUCKY: When it stops getting to you.

PHIL: Yeah. I guess you're right.

Phil pops open a beer. He hands it to Bucky. He pops one for himself.

CLOSE ON BUCKY

He's about to take a sip of beer. Phil's hand quickly slaps it out of his hand.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the pace of this - apparent resolution of conflict, then one beat later we see it hasn't resolved.

Kicking & Screaming (2005)(Oct. 2003 )
by Leo Benvenuti & Steve Rudnick

TODAY'S NUGGET: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004) - The Discipline of Comedy

[Quick Summary: Ron Burgandy, 1970s lead news anchor, is thrown for a loop when Alicia Corningstone, a new woman reporter, joins the staff.]

4 THOUGHTS:

1)  Sometimes the key to satire is to stay fairly close to the source. "Anchorman," like "This Is Spinal Tap," works best when it's only a degree or two removed from the excesses of the real thing.

2)  If the movie simply focused on making Ron and his team look ridiculous, it might grow tedious, because that would be such an easy thing to do. But it has a kind of sweetness to it.

3)  I like that nothing is off limits in this 1st draft.  There's a very different ending.  The jokes and tangents are unpolished.  However, the basic structure IS there.  The writers DO have something to say.

4) Combining #2 & 3 above: This draft does focus on making Ron ridiculous.  The innuendos are repetitive and tedious, and sweetness is missing. 

These writers were experienced enough to allow themselves the space to buckshot a first draft. Good writing only springs from much rewriting of bad writing.

Here is an example of a tedious scene that was deleted/changed: 

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE, aka: the striking woman from the night before, walks through the door.

BRIAN FANTANA: What the frig...?

CHAMP KIND: That's a lady!

Ron is blown away.

MUSIC: "YOU MAKE ME SO VERY HAPPY" by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

RON: My sweat vision...

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Oh my dearest Ron. My sex moose, take me right now on this conference table!

RON: I am engorged!

They jump on each other.

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: We are doing this right now with no shame!

RON: Let's make a baby!

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Get nasty on me! Break the law!

RON: It's jazz, baby! Jazz!!

They fall back and smash through the conference table while everyone applauds.

SMASH CUT BACK TO:

Back to reality from Ron's fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Comedy requires the discipline of trying, correcting, risking, correcting, trying again.  Only newbies expect good writing from the start.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004)(1st draft revised, 5/12/02)
by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay