TODAY'S NUGGET: Trading Places (1983) - Not Tipping Your Hand Right Before a Turning Point (Suspense)

[Quick Summary: A homeless man and a broker have their lives surreptitiously swapped, all for a measly bet between two rich old men.]

This buddy comedy is a gem because of its classic fish-out-of-water setup, i.e., poor guy swaps lives with rich guy. 

It also does a great job of playing the moments as real, particularly leading up to the turning points.  This leads to REAL consequences & REAL stakes.

Because there are no magic solutions and no "fake deaths", it doesn't tip the hand of what's to come next and helps keep the suspense rising.

For example, in the scene below: 
- Louis Whipple is the grandson-in-law-to-be for two elderly Mr. Dukes. 
- Louis has just tried to O.D. on prescription pills. 
- Billy Ray is the homeless man.
- Ophelia is a woman of the streets who joins the adventure.
- Billy Ray and Ophelia have been walking Louis around the park to keep him awake.
- The writers allow Louis to make mistakes and allow the situation to defeat him.  They don't try to soften the blow by a magical solution.
- As a result, we go right up to the turning point (Louis' aha! moment below ) with real stakes (the stupid bet has gone awry and is about to cause a fatality). 

EXT. A PARK - NIGHT

...The two of them fall in the snow, and Billy Ray ends up sitting on Whipple's chest, holding him down.

BILLY RAY: Try and get it through your thick skull, Whipple! This whole thing was an experiment! And you and me are the guinea pigs! They made a bet over what would happen to us!

The truth is finally starting to dawn on Whipple. He looks from Ophelia's face to Billy Ray's.

LOUIS: A bet? They ruined my life over a bet? A bet for how much?

BILLY RAY: One dollar.

Whipple finally gets it. He smiles and nods, but his left eye is twitching.

LOUIS: A dollar. Good. Okay. Fine.

BILLY RAY: You okay, man?

LOUIS: Oh, I feel wonderful. And I'm going to feel even better.

                                       CUT TO: 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One reason that I think audiences have become uninterested in "fake death" universes is because there are no consequences, no stakes, and thus little suspense.

Trading Places (1983)(June, 1982, 1st draft)
by Timothy Harris & Herschel Weingrod

TODAY'S NUGGET: Married to the Mob (1988) - How to Not Lose the Reader, Despite Various POV

[Quick Summary: After her mobster husband is murdered by his boss, Angela is determined to make a new life with her son, but the mob won't leave her alone.]

Q: What sets this script apart for you?  
A: It captures different points of view, but never loses focus on the protagonist.

Q: How does it do it?  Especially maintaining such clarity? 
A: I think it's the unity of the subject matter.  There's a variety of points of view, but they're all about the same subject, i.e., Angela.

For example, in the scene below:
- Angela is a sweet woman, who was oblivious to the shenanigans of Sal, her dead mobster husband.  Everyone makes assumptions about her. 
- Tony, Sal's best friend, is the head mobster. 
- Tony is married to Connie and is afraid of her.
- Tony killed Sal because Sal was sleeping with Tony's side girlfriend.
- Tony wants to sleep with Angela, and keeps tabs on her, even after she's moved away.
- Tony and his underling Tommy show up at Angela's new apartment.
- Note the multiple points of view (Connie, Ed, Mike, Tommy, Tony). Each segment adds important information, AND they're united by the subject matter, Angela.
- Also note how: a)  the unity of subject matter, plus b) CAPITALIZED location slugs helps the reader easily switch points of view. This is great clarity of writing.

EXT. RIVINGTON STREET - AT THAT MOMENT

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Angela, Tony and Tommy come out of the building and pause on the steps. 

TOMMY: Look, Ange, Rose wants to have you out for dinner next week. How's Thursday?

ANGELA: I really don't think...

TOMMY: Or Friday?

ANGELA: Umm...

TOMMY: Or any night that's good for you.

ANGELA: I tell you, Tommy...I'm so busy with the move, getting set up and everything. I don't even know if we're gonna stay here. Why don't I give you a call when I get settled?

TOMMY (disappointed): Sure, I understand. But don't forget, okay? Promise?

ANGELA (squirming): Sure, Tommy.

TOMMY: Take care, Angie. If you need anything...

ANGELA: Thanks, Tommy. So long.

He gives her a big hug and heads for the car.

DOWN THE BLOCK

peering over the steering wheel of the white Cadillac is Tony's worst nightmare -- Connie. She watches with keen interest.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

TONY: It was great seeing you, Angela.

Tony takes Angela's hand. She stiffens. He plants a gentle kiss on her hand while looking into her eyes.

IN THE WHITE CADILLAC

Connie watches as Tony kisses Angela's hand. Connie's worst suspicions are confirmed. She's absolutely livid.

FROM A BASEMENT STAIRWELL

Ed video-tapes Tony and Angela. Connie's white Cadillac zooms past.

IN FRONT OF ANGELA'S BUILDING

Tony gives Angela a meaningful look.

TONY (in Italian): Ci vediamo, cara.

Tony gets into the car and Tommy drives off. Angela is emotionally exhausted.

ANGELA (moans): Oh, God.

AT THE FIFTH FLOOR WINDOW

Mike has seen Tony's farewell. Mike shakes his head ruefully as he watches Angela walk down the street. He moves away from the window.

AT THE CORNER

Angela stops in front of the "Hello, Gorgeous!" beauty salon. IN the window there's a mirror with an inscription reading: ARE YOU READY FOR A BRAND NEW YOU? Angela looks at her reflection in the mirror. She can see that the events of the day have caught up to her. She tugs at her Chez Ray hairdo, obviously displeased. Then Angela notices a sign in the window that reads: "Help Wanted." 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: To keep things clearer for the reader, create sign posts in the structure for the audience, ex. unity of subject matter + capitalized locations.

Married to the Mob (1988)(7/14/87 draft)
by Barry Strugatz & Mark R. Burns

TODAY'S NUGGET: Rachel Getting Married (2008) - Example of How Biting Wit & Humor Both Connects and Isolates

[Quick Summary:  Kym, who has been in and out of rehab, is allowed out of her recovery home for her sister Rachel's wedding.]

Q: What makes this melodrama stand out?
A: The key is the protagonist, Kym, who has a biting wit and humor.

Q: What's so unusual?
A: I never know whether it's to connect (and bring the other person closer), or to isolate (and keep them at a distance).  Either way, it keeps things suspenseful.

For example, in the scene below:
- Just prior to this scene, Kym's dad and step-mom have just picked her up from rehab for the wedding weekend.
- In the car, they try to act normal, but the parents are worried. 
- Kym answers their questions with wit, but is defensive.
- Kym wants to belong, but she also likes to be provocative to stand out. 
- Kym has a conscience, but is also self-absorbed.  
- Thus, we enter the scene below uneasy how Kym feels about her sister Rachel.
- Notice Kym is a person of extremes. When she (or another) makes an honest mis-step, she's hard on herself (and others) in a witty way. It's hard to predict but also hard to deal with.

 INT. UPSTAIRS. DAY. CONTINUOUS --

 ...KYM (to Rachel): No, seriously, you're so tiny it's like you're Asian. Dad wants us to sleep in the same room so you'll be able to watch me while he's asleep and I won't sneak out of the house and blow dealers and shoot heroin.

RACHEL: Dad did not say "blow dealers."

KYM: I told him I'd just sleep in Ethan's room.

Beat. [This is an honest mistake and they just realized it.  Also, it makes us wonder. Who is Ethan? What happened? Something bad?]

RACHEL: You can always shoot up in the tree. [Rachel deflects with humor and sarcasm.]

Kym laughs. A little too loud. [Kym does realize the mis-step and tries to cover.]

EMMA: Kym, I'm not remotely surprised you're starting your drama already, however it's Rachel's wedding and this week it's about her.

KYM: Emma, you still have your tiny core of rage! What a relief. [Kym can't admit Emma is right, so uses humor/sarcasm as a defense mechanism.]

Kym flops on the bed and gazes adoringly at her sister for a moment. Rachel beams back. [I found it interesting that the sisters are used to sarcastic humor, so they don't take it personally.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The biting wit and humor works well here because it comes from character, i.e., it's how Kym deals with life.

It also lends itself to great suspense because we never know if it'll connect, or isolate, her.

Rachel Getting Married (2008)(undated)
by Jenny Lumet

TODAY'S NUGGET: National Treasure (2004) - What Sets Apart the Escalation in This Blockbuster Action Film

[Quick Summary: A historian treasure hunter races against mercenaries who are also looking for the lost Templar treasure.]

In my hunt for more scripts written by E. Max Frye,* I was surprised to find this action blockbuster among his more intimate, character driven films.

However, what sets this film apart from a lot of action adventures is that the big set pieces still feel intimate, in part because they're driven by characters.** 

Consider the escalation scene below:
- Ben Gates, the protagonist, has convinced Ian, a financier, to fund him for the last 7 months. At heart, he's a historian.
- Riley is Ben's compatriot and researcher.
- Ian only wants the treasure to make himself famous.
- Ben, Riley, Ian have traveled to the Arctic to board a 200 y.o. sunken frigate.
- Inside, they found a pipe with a riddle, which they solved.
- The riddle points to the existence of a treasure map, but it's on the back of the Declaration of Independence. 
- Ben refuses to steal the Declaration of Independence. 
- Ian pulls out a gun and demands to know all Ben knows about the riddle.
- I liked this good vs. bad guy action scene because it shows creativity in the snowball effect. 
- When Ian threatens, Ben turns the tables with a lighter --> light goes out --> gunshots --> gas lamp hit & explodes --> Fire!
- Notice how the scene begins with character, i.e., a stand-off, and the escalating action is an extension of the tension between them. 

INT. SHIP, CAPTAIN'S CABIN - CONTINUOUS 

...Ian turns his gun on Riley instead.

IAN: Tell me, or I shoot Riley.

RILEY: Wait! How do you know I don't know something else about the riddle?!

Ben and Ian can't help but just give Riley a look, then Ian pulls the trigger...BLAM!

Riley flinches as the glass porthole in the wall just behind him shatters. The old ship GROANS.

RILEY (CONT'D): Shit. Come on, Ben. Tell him what he doesn't know.

BEN: Okay...

Ben comes up with HIS LIGHTER and flicks it on.

BEN (CONT'D): ...for one thing, the whole room below us is full of gunpowder.

Ben holds the flame over the trap door in the floor. 

BEN (CONT'D): You shoot anyone, I drop this, and none of us gets out of here alive.

Ian eyes the flame. Ben eyes the gun. A tense stand-off.

RILEY (incredulous): Whoa-whoa-whoa! How did we all go from wildly rich to dead in a matter of minutes? Let's think here.

Just then, the FLAME FLICKERS AND GOES OUT. Ian shrugs.

On reflex, Ben tackles Riley and hurls them both to the ground behind the desk as...

Ian OPENS fire on them...BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

Bullets CHEW UP the desk and walls. 

One bullet takes out the GAS LANTERN. It explodes with an OIL FIRE, instantly setting the desk ablaze. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Why is it important to start with character before escalating the action? Because the subsequent set piece/action/fights now have meaning. 

National Treasure (2004)(4/9/03 draft)
by Jim Kouf, Cormac & Marianne Wibberley
Previous drafts by Jim Kouf, E. Max Frye, Jon Turteltaub

*I'm attempting to read as many E. Max Frye scripts as possible (even ones he's rewritten, like this one). 

**I would argue that this is a trademark combination in the films produced by producer Jerry Bruckheimer.