TODAY'S NUGGET: Mindhunters (2004) - How to Make an Information Dump More Interesting to Watch (Clarity of Purpose)

[Quick Summary: After a group of FBI trainees are dropped off on a deserted island for a weekend training exercise, one of them starts killing them off, one by one.]

I thought this script did a great job of bringing the audience into the psychological game that's being played.  How did the writers do it?

They had to find a way to quickly get into the minds of the trainees, explain how they think (essentially an information dump), yet maintain a brisk pacing. 

The writers knew that the most traditional and efficient way to do this is through interviews of the trainees.  Their new addition here was using new technology.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Harris, the FBI trainer, has brought the trainees to an isolated island for training.
- Someone has a beef with all of them. Weird things start to happen.
- Sara, one of the trainees, goes looking for information and finds a laptop with her fellow trainees' initial interviews.  
- Notice that this is an information dump, but a necessary and efficient one. 
- The interview is a tried-and-true technique, but the writers used a more modern tool here to do so (the laptop). 
- Also, Sara is seeking clues, so the interviews feel more like answers to her questions vs. telling the audience information. 

INT. THE DORM ROOMS -- MOMENTS LATER

...Sara's eyes SWING to the LAPTOP on J.D's bed.

THE SCREEN

is filled with STAR-BURSTS - a SCREEN-SAVER program.

She presses the command button. The computer comes to life.

ON THE SCREEN -- J.D. APPEARS ON VIDEO TAPE

In the middle of an INTERVIEW.

J.D. (on tape): ...If there's one thing I've learned working for the Bureau, there's always a cause and effect. Even in the sickest criminal mind.

HARRIS (V.O.)(on tape): But do you want to crawl into that kind of mind?

ANGLE THE GROUP

as they stare at the laptop - dumbfounded.

J.D. (on tape): Do I want to? No. But will I? Yes.

ANGLE THE LAPTOP -- AS THE SCREEN

turns to SNOW

and ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

BOBBY (on tape): I'd be walking, just minding my own business, and a squad car would pull over. I used to carry a photo ID just to prove I lived in the neighborhood.

HARRIS (V.O.): Why Behavioral Science?

BOBBY (on tape): You're the best...

TIGHT ON BOBBY

BOBBY: That's my psych-eval interview...

ANGLE THE LAPTOP --

SNOW again...

ANOTHER INTERVIEW blinks on.

NICOLE (on tape): I was 11 years-old. I came home from school and mom was unconscious . The police took him away. It's the first time I remember feeling safe. We never heard from dad again...

ANOTHER ANGLE - LUCAS

LUCAS (on tape): I left medical school to join the Bureau because I thought I could be more effective on the front lines. (beat) What can I say? I'm an adrenaline junkie.

ANGLE - RAMON 

RAMON (on tape): Once I got a taste of homicide, there was no turning back. There's not a helluva lot more satisfying than seeing a killer brought to justice.

ANGLE - VINCE

VINCE (on tape): I was that kid. The one who knew everything there is to know about serial killers. I've always wanted to be a mindhunter. The accident hasn't changed that.

ANGLE - SARA

SARA (on tape): Her killer sent me letters from different mailing services for a year after we found the body. Told me everything he did to her. (beat) Every single thing.

TIGHT ON SARA

flushing crimson...

AND THE SCREEN FREEZES. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I didn't particularly notice the information dump about other characters here because the scene had real clarity of purpose.  

That is, Sara was seeking answers, so watching her register new information was more interesting to watch than if I was told it.

Also, the laptop was cool updated tech to use in a film, but it didn't replace knowing the fundamentals of drama (re: how to convey information through interviews).

Mindhunters (2004)(12/17/00 revised draft)
by Wayne Kramer, revisions by Kevin Brodbin, Kario Salem

2026 OSCARS: Train Dreams (2025) - When Someone Becomes Important to You (Combination of Voice Over + Action)

[Quick Summary: The life of beauty and heartache of Robert Grainier, a logger and railroad worker.]

Q: What's this film about?
A: It's a quiet story about beauty of the world and the passage of time.  It's got a mood and atmosphere to it that's reflective, like a tone poem. 

Q: That sounds boring. What makes it so special to be nominated?
A: The writing sneaks up on you, and fits perfectly with a protagonist who doesn't say a whole lot, but feels things deeply and simply. 

For example, in the scene below:
- Robert lost his family early in life and was raised by foster parents.
- He experienced a lot of things, but has remained uninvolved and unconnected emotionally.
- Things changed when he meets his wife, Gladys.
- Suddenly something makes connection worthwhile and it changes him.
- This scene below is the first time he notices her, a moment of seismic importance.
- He is someone who is unused to communicating.
- Notice how the writers honed the writing to bring out the truthfulness of the moment, yet its simplicity.  They chose to use voice over + drop of the gaze, in order to give the latter more meaning. 

INT. METHODIST CHURCH - YEARS LATER

Grainier is in his early 30's, looking like a stray animal. Singing along to the hymns. It's a small church. Not more than two dozen in the congregation.

NARRATOR (V.O.): He felt that nothing much attracted his interest, until, that is, he met Gladys Olding.

He watches GLADYS, singing in the choir. Her voice stands apart to him.

But when she looks at him, he's too shy to hold her gaze. He looks down to his choir book. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm not a huge fan of voice over, but here, it's used well.  

It gives context to the drop of the gaze, i.e., Robert is shy, yet really wants to connect, which is unusual for him.     

Train Dreams (2025)(undated)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Based on the book by Denis Johnson

2026 OSCARS: Hamnet (2025) - Telling, Not Showing" is Effective When the Pressure is Too Much (Emotional Life)

[Quick Summary: After William Shakespeare marries the forest-loving Agnes, they grieve the death of their son Hamnet.]

This script has a typical story arc about healing a rift when tragedy happens: 

Will and Agnes meet, marry, and have kids --> Their son Hamnet dies and they grieve --> They are reunited through Will writing the play "Hamlet." 

One thing I really liked about the script is how it expresses small emotional moments that eventually pile up into a barrier of communication. 

I thought it was interesting that the writers did this by breaking the "show, not tell rule"* with the reverse, i.e.,"telling and not showing."  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Will has been very unhappy at his father's glove making business.
- He and Agnes are married and living at his parents' house.
- Agnes wakes up in the night. Will is not there. He's trying to write at night.
- She tries to comfort him, but he yells at her.
- Notice how the "telling and not showing" is to clarify indescribable feelings, or a short cut language.  To explain it on screen is unnecessary.

INT. HENLEY HOUSE - ATTIC - NIGHT

...Once Susanna stops fussing, Agnes comes back to Will. She gently touches the back of his neck, trying to sooth him. But he turns his head away, wiping any tears he may shed. He will never let her see him weak.

WILL (CONT'D): I'm sorry. I've had too much to drink.  

She takes his hand. He flinches.

WILL (CONT'D)(controls himself): Please. Not now.

AGNES: What are you afraid I will see?

WILL: I'm a violent, dangerous man.

He is holding all the emotions in. They are threatening to burst out of his chest and kill him. [I particularly like this description of something he can't express.]

AGNES: You are none of that. You're a good man, a good man. 

He puts his arm around her waist. He lets her rub her fingers through his hair, soothing him.

AGNES (CONT'D): Is it...are you..do you wish we had not...wed? Is that it?

He looks up at her, his face pained, aghast.

WILL: No. Never. How could you say such a thing? You and Susanna are all I live for. Nothing else matters.

AGNES: What is it, then?

WILL: ...I don't know. I'm lost. I have lost my way, Agnes. The landscapes you saw... (changes his mind) It's nothing. It's nothing.

She knows what he means. Those landscapes she saw haven't been realized, and it's torturing him. But he says no more after that. [Note this "breaks a screenwriting rule" that you shouldn't include anything that can't be seen.  I think it's very effective here to explain emotions that the characters don't have to explain to each other.]

AGNES: ...What can I do for you?

WILL: Nothing, my love. Nothing.

She is now at a complete loss. 

WILL (CONT'D): Please go back to sleep. I need to work. All is well. I just need to work.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think "telling, not showing" can be effective.  Here, it connects a lot of dots for the reader quickly for things that are unnecessary to belabor.

Hamnet (2025)(undated)
by Chloe Zhao & Maggie O'Farrell
Based on the novel by Maggie O'Farrell

*You know how I feel about the so-called "screenwriting rules." They're guidelines when you need help. They're not absolute.  

2026 OSCARS: Frankenstein (2025) - Guillermo del Toro Explains the Elements of Horror (Plus an Example)

[Quick Summary: Victor Frankenstein creates a monster that becomes his undoing.]

PRO: This is the film that Guillermo del Toro has wanted to make for decades.

CON: This script is too long.

PRO: The film has garnered 9 Oscar nominations.  

CON: Its budget from Netflix was a whopping $120M, with only $144,496 gross (one territory). However, grosses don't seem important to this streamer. 

PRO: I tend to avoid horror, but was intrigued by Guiellermo del Toro's explanation of the genre:

"The essence of horror - the two, and only two, things that create horror: something that is there and should not [be], or something that should not be there and is there." 

An example of one of these elements is in the scene below:
- Dr. Frankenstein has created the Creature. 
- Frankenstein fell for brother's fiancee, Elizabeth, who was kind to Creature.
- Frankenstein is enraged that she'd choose Creature over him.
- The Creature fights with Frankenstein, then releases him. 
- Frankenstein hunts the Creature into the North Pole.
- Note that the Creature takes up the dynamite voluntarily.  We expect him to die, but when he does not, it's horrifying ("something that should not be there and is there").

EXT. INT ESPLANADE - NIGHT

... The Creature sinks the Knife into Victor's SHOULDER - THUNK!

The Creature fetches the dynamite. Victor pulls the knife out - bleeding.

CREATURE (CONT'D): You - put your faith in this? This?! (beat) But if it does not, I will come for you - again! And make you regret it. (Beat) Light it... Light it!!!

Victor obeys. Trembling and covered in blood.

The Creature embraces the dynamite as if it was a baby - a prize - a cherished possession: tight upon his chest. 

Victor crawls away and then gets up - limps away. Arm dislocated and bleeding, artificial limb almost entirely loose.

 The Creature is engulfed by the EXPLOSION. A CRATER forms.

But - when the smoke clears: The Creature rises again: ONE EYE SOCKET is empty - His chest, jagged with wounds- 

One of his hands with EXPOSED knuckles points at Victor: 

CREATURE (CONT'D): Now- run- 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Though I don't really like horror, I found del Toro's explanation helpful in writing suspense, i.e., when something isn't as we expect, it's frightening.

Frankenstein (2025)(Sept. 2024, final shooting script)
by Guillermo del Toro
Based on the novel by Mary Shelley 

2026 OSCARS: Bugonia (2025) - Why It's Not Really About the Dialogue, But the Subtext

[Quick Summary: Two cousins kidnap a biomedical corporate executive, whom they're convinced is an alien, to get her to stop destroying the earth.]

This script is a 2-3 hander and is a quick read.  

I really admired how it made us connect with the characters.  I think it stems from the characters really trying to communicate something, a very exposing thing.

The amazing thing was how it's all in the subtext, not the words. 

For example, in the scene below:
- Teddy convinced his cousin Don to kidnap Teddy's boss, Michelle.
- They have brought her to their home.
- Michelle tries to escape by admitting to "being an alien."
- Teddy makes a dinner of spaghetti for her, him, and Don.
- Michelle tries to talk to Don, but Teddy discourages discussion of any personal nature.
- Undeterred, she tries again to find a connection through a neutral topic, bees. 
- Notice that she takes the first step to finding common ground.  She is the one who exposes herself and gives her opinion on bees. 
- When Teddy responds with a similar opinion, they have a moment of connection.
- Their unspoken feelings of "I respect you, I like you because we like the same things" is in the subtext of their similar opinions and shared smiles.

 INT. KITCHEN. DAY

...Don is unsure if he should reply.

TEDDY: You'll have to excuse my colleague. He prefers not to converse.

They eat silently again. Michelle sees some BEEKEEPER GEAR.

MICHELLE: I see you're an apiarist.

TEDDY: Of sorts.

MICHELLE: I've taken an interest as well.

TEDDY: Mm. So I've heard.

MICHELLE: Magnificent creatures. Honeybees.

TEDDY: Yes, indeed. Very much so.

MICHELLE: Earth's most admirable creation.

Teddy looks up. A brief moment of unexpected connection.

TEDDY: Well, shit. I've literally said those exact words before.

They lock eyes for a moment. Michelle smiles with respect. Teddy almost reciprocates, then turns back to his plate. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: There's real craft in creating that subtext. It's not what is actually said, nor the meaning of the words (bees are magnificent), but the understanding of human nature that we tend to lower our walls with the people with whom we agree. 

Bugonia (2025)(undated)
by Will Tracy
Based on the film Save the Green Planet!

2026 OSCARS: Sinners (2025) - How to Explain Vampire Rules Without Explaining Them ("Show, Not Tell" in Reactions)

[Quick Summary: Troubled twins set up a juke joint in the South, but vampires stand in the way of its success.]

In this well written script, I particularly enjoyed how the writer built suspense with an uneasy feeling that something is wrong.

For example, in the scene below:
- Smoke and Stack are twins who have come back to the South, after fleeing Chicago. 
- They have decided to set up a juke joint and charge cover fees.
- They hire Annie to cook for the joint.
- Annie is a practitioner of the occult, and was once an item with Smoke.
- One of their employees, Cornbread, has been missing for awhile and returns. 
- Notice how the scene starts out with an argument and Cornbread's offer to help.
- Though viewers may not know the vampire rule (you have to be asked to enter a building), they sense that Annie is uneasy about something. 
- She does not say out loud what she suspects, but challenges Cornbread to act. 
- I thought it was clever how Cornbread avoids the question and throw the focus back on Annie.
- Also, it's unusual to create a reveal of this vampire rule without telling it, but showing in the reactions and other dialogue unrelated to what is being revealed.

 

INT. ENTRY HALLWAY - JUKE JOINT - LUMBER MILL - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS

 ...Cornbread finally notices Smoke is covered in blood.

CORNBREAD: Goddamn Smoke...what happened to you?

SMOKE: What happened to me? Stack is dead. What the fuck happened to you? You was supposed to be watching the place. Not taking a hour long piss.

CORNBREAD: I'm sorry. Well let me come in and help.

Annie clocks this. [Annie is the first to have suspicions.]

She extends her hands to Smoke to stop him.

Smoke looks back at Annie confused. Delta Slim as well.

They stare at Cornbread, who stares back at them with an almost comically confused expression. 

CORNBREAD: What ya'll doing?

The three continue to stare without budging.

CORNBREAD (CONT'D): Smoke. Just step aside and let me on in. [He needs an invitation.]

ANNIE: Why you need him to do that? You big and strong enough to push past us. [Annie confronts him with a question that requires him to act first. This is, in essence, "showing, not telling" about the vampire rules, which the audience may or may not know about. ]

CORNBREAD: Because that wouldn't be very polite of me now, would it? I don't know why I'm even talking to you. Probably your fish sandwich that made me so sick. Using that old stale grease. [Cornbread knows she is suspicious, so he tries to distract her.] 

ANNIE: I ain't never used stale grease and you know it.  [His accusation puts her on the defensive about her food.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One way to "show and not tell" the vampire rules is to require the vampire to violate the rule, i.e., to act.

"Show, not tell" usually means visuals and not dialogue.  The example above was a rare instance of using other dialogue and reactions, rather than what I expected, i.e., visuals alone.

Sinners (2025)(undated draft)
by Ryan Coogler /

2026 OSCARS: Sentimental Value (2025) - When a Location is Not Just a Metaphor, But a Participant/Witness

[Quick Summary: In the family home, a director and his two adult daughters try to bridge years of misunderstandings and absences.]

This is a film about family memories and how they get in the way of present relationships.   Here's a little background:

- The father, Gustav, is a film director, who hasn't made a film in 15 yrs.  
- Gustav left his wife when his daughters, Nora and Agnes, were young.
- The wife remained in the family home with the two daughters.  
- The wife was a psychologist and has recently died.  
- The daughters have returned to deal with her estate and the house. 
- Gustav also returns, with a role for his daughter Nora to act in.  
- He wants to shoot his film in the family house.

One of the things that impressed me in the script is how the writers indicated that this house will be important to this family's story.

It is used a metaphor, but also used literally as the structure in which the family has to wrestle with memories.  The house is a silent participant/witness to their lives.

In this early scene in the script (below), the writers use a montage of rapid images to establish how often the house is a participant in the family's daily life:

INT. FAMILY HOUSE (VARIOUS TIMES) - DAY

MONTAGE of rapid images of the house being used and abused as the voice continues:

NARRATOR: She remembered wondering if the house preferred to be light and empty or full and heavy...

High heels scrape the parquet of floor at a party (1965).

An eager dog's claws scratch the wooden floor in front of the door (1980).

NARRATOR (CONT'D): ...if it liked being trampled on, or that people crashed into its walls, that eager dog claws scratched the floorboards.

A chair scraping against the kitchen floor (1998).

Children's dirty fingers stick to the railing on the stairs (1994).

A wine glass falls to the floor and shatters (1965).

A milk glass topples over (1955).

A laptop falls corner-first, creating a deep gouge in the wooden floor (2000).

NARRATOR (CONT'D): ...and she thought yes, it liked being full, and that the marks were just scrapes like you get playing tag or soccer.

Gustav (35) is moving his hands behind the two small windows over the kitchen door. The shadowplay makes it seem to Nora (3) that they are two eyes looking toward her. (1990s). 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'd never seen a house used as participant/witness/location/framework of the story like this. The memories make a house a home.

Sentimental Value (2025)(8/18/24 draft) 
by Eskil Vogt & Joachim Trier

2026 OSCARS: Marty Supreme (2025) - One Key to a Hair Pin "Reversal of Fortune" Moment (Hope-Fear)

[Quick Summary A table tennis player is thwarted as he schemes, cons, and hustles friends and strangers to finance a trip to the World Championship.]

TWO THOUGHTS: 

1)  PROS:
- This is a well written, script and reads fast.
- The script attempts to capture a bold, foolhardy emotional roller coaster.   
- The protagonist is an audacious, confident, unpleasantly selfish young man. 

CONS: 
- I appreciate the criticism that the story seems to be a scatter shot of events that aren't cohesive and build to something (episodic?).   
- Though life is very episodic, trying to connect events that are not "one of a whole" is distracting.  Also, the start-stop-start-stop rhythm is distracting.
- You'll either love its truthfulness, or hate the jerkiness of the flow.  

2) ALWAYS EMOTIONALLY TRUTHFUL.  Like its protagonist, the script takes big swings that may/may not work. For the most part, it works.

Why? I think it's because the writers were careful to be truthful with emotions, especially in the big moments.

For example, in the scene below:
- This is a hair pin, "reversal of fortune" moment.
- Milton Rockwell, a rich guy, offered to sponsor Marty in Japan.
- Marty turned Rockwell down because he had principles.
- Marty has slept with Milton's actress wife. Milton doesn't know.
- Now Marty is begging for that job back because he has no other options.
- Why would we believe Marty would change his mind now? Earlier, it was setup that there isn't anything he won't do - steal, bargain, con, etc.
- Then in this scene, emotions flip flop quickly between hope and fear, desperation and bravado. 
- Note that the audience can stick to these hair pin emotional turns because they're always truthful. Marty is really that fast - a fast speaker, a fast hustler, a fast opportunist.

EXT. MOROSCO THEATER - CONTINUOUS 

...MILTON steps into the car. The Chauffeur heads around to the driver's side. MARTY raps his knuckles on the window.

MARTY: Mr. Rockwell...(knock knock) Please.... (knock knock) Mr. Rockwell... [Fear. Descending. Desperation. He's at rock bottom.]

MILTON (voice muffled through the glass): What!

MARTY: Look, let's be pragmatists for a second. Put your personal feelings about me aside. You and I both know the kind of value I'd bring to an event with Endo on his home turf. You said so yourself. I'm like a stick of dynamite over there. Whatever other plans you've made, they're going to pale in comparison... [Hope. Ascending. There's hope, a crack in the door.]

A pause.

MARTY (CONT'D): Can we just sit and talk about this reasonably for 2 minutes? There's more than enough common ground here. [Hope. Ascending. He's widening the door.]

Another pause. 

MILTON: Fine, get in the car.

MARTY: Thank you!

MARTY runs around to the passenger side. MILTON motions to the driver and the car takes off. MARTY runs alongside it, banging on the window, until he can't keep up.  [Fear. Descending. The door is slammed.]

MARTY (CONT'D): SON OF A BITCH! YOU WOULDN'T EVEN HAVE THE IDEA IF IT WASN'T FOR ME!! [Fear. Descending fast into the ground.]

The car continues down the street. [Fear. Hits rock bottom again.]

Hold a few beats on MARTY, stewing. He steps back on the curb and realizes that Kay's ASSISTANT has been standing there, uncomfortable, waiting to speak to him. [Hair pin turn into hope. Ascending.]

MARTY (CONT'D): What!

ASSISTANT: Um, Ms. Stone would like to have lunch with you. [Hope. Ascending fast.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to staying on the rails, even in a hair pin "reversal of fortune" moment, is staying emotionally true to the character. 

I would've been pulled out of the story if Marty, who is a self-absorbed, fast talking, opportunistic person, suddenly grew a conscience, or slowed down to think. 

Marty Supreme (2025)(dated 2/2/25)
by Ronald Bronstein & Josh Safdie

2026 OSCARS: It Was Just an Accident (2025) - One Example of Economically Dropping Thriller Clues (Show Not Tell)

[Quick Summary: When formerly tortured prisoners catch the guard who tortured them, the group is uncertain if it's the same man and fights within itself.]

How can this thriller be so full of suspense at only 63 pgs. in length!?

One key was how carefully the writer chose his clues.  They had to be clear, but result in questions that would make the reader want to turn the page. 

For example, in the scene below:
- A man's car breaks down with his pregnant wife and daughter Niloufar inside.
- They come to a random repair shop.
- Vahid is the mechanic.
- Note that the first clue is an AUDIBLE one.
- Also note that it is Vahid's reaction that makes the audience realize something is wrong. 
- Thus the audience begins to realize danger is afoot without being told (show not tell).

 I./E. CAR ON COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

...Vahid hangs up and lights a cigarette.
In the meantime, the woman comes out of the bathroom.
Vahid looks at her through the gap in the door. The woman sits down, apparently overcome by stomach pains. Niloufar helps her.
We hear the workshop door open. Vahid goes to the far end of the room but the sound of the man's artificial leg on the concrete floor makes him freeze, as if this unusual noise seemed familiar. He pricks up his ears. Vahid tries to spot the man, but he can't. He discreetly steps over to the door again.

He sees the man come into the workshop, then go over to his wife and daughter. Vahid looks devastated. He quickly steps back and presses against the cupboard so as not to be seen. he takes a deep breath and tries to pull himself together. All of a sudden, the man calls out to him. 

MAN: Vahid...Vahind...

Vahid doesn't reply. 

MAN: Mister Vahid...

Vahid is cornered. He coughs and then answers, but without showing himself. He alters his voice to reply.

VAHID: Yes?!

MAN: Mister Omid needs the old toolbox.

Vahid heaves a sign of relief.

VAHID: It's next to the big machine! 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The choice of an auditory clue here was brilliant because:
- It is suspenseful because it has meaning that the audience doesn't know yet (as we learn from Vahid's reactions).
- It made me wonder what the characters knew, thus I wanted to turn the page.
- It is showing, but not telling the story.

It Was Just an Accident (2025)
by  Jafar Panahi

2026 OSCARS: Blue Moon (2025) - This is NOT the Payoff Speech You Expect (Creating an Ironic, Emotionally Satisfying Ending)

[Quick Summary: Lorenz Hart, formerly of the famous Rodgers-Hart duo, struggles with alcoholism and regret on the opening night of the new Rodgers-Hammerstein musical, "Oklahoma!".]

THREE THOUGHTS: 

1) THE PROCESS. In several recent interviews, actor Ethan Hawke spoke about director Richard Linklater's process with the script.*  The most interesting tidbits:

1) "Linklater is very patient." It's taken 10 years to get the script right.
2) Hawke said he knew this was a very small target they were aiming for. 
3) Each time they'd get a draft, Linklater would call it "another layer of paint."

2) THE SCRIPT. I think this patience and persistence paid off.  It's a very tight script (only 85 pgs.), happens all in one night, and mostly in one location.  

It's also a wonderful character piece on how Hart often got in his own way. 

3) PAYOFF THAT PAYS OFF. I imagine getting Hart right was very hard: 

- He was short, overlooked, and full of contradictions (ex. self-destructive and smart; gay, but hopelessly in love with a woman).
- He was both the biggest and smallest person in the room.
- Hawke said that Hart kept talking, talking, talking because he wouldn't be noticed if he stopped. 

What does the writer do with a character who won't shut up? Here, it was fascinating to see the unexpected irony that the writer used in the structure.

To be more specific, the writer allowed Hart to talk, talk, talk for 3/4th of the script, then the woman he loves shuts him up in the last 1/4th with a brilliant monologue.

For example, in the scene below:
- Hart is in love with Elizabeth, who is 20 yrs. younger.
- Hart hasn't told her how he feels about her.
- She's still at Yale and stuck on Cooper, a friend's boyfriend and a junior at Yale.
- She thinks of Hart as a confidante, but doesn't ask much from him except to listen.
- He knows he's gay, but feels seen by her. It's the closest thing to love for him.
- At the party for "Oklahoma!," they go into a closet to have some privacy.
- She tells him about her humiliating 20th birthday with her crush, Cooper.
- On her birthday, they tried to have sex, but Cooper was too drunk and nervous. 
- A week later, Cooper asked her to dinner. They meet at his fraternity.
- This is one of Hart's most important scenes, and it's all in his reaction.
- Note that he's been talking all this time, self-absorbed -- until this moment when SHE becomes more important.
- Also, this is only part of Elizabeth's speech.  I'd highly recommend you read it in its entirety. It's a high wire act.  One of the best of deeply felt, exposing speeches for a female character.  

INT. SARDI'S BAR - ENTRANCE AREA - CONTINUOUS

...COAT ROOM AREA

ELIZABETH: In spades. I mean, it's suddenly pouring. We're practically tearing each other's clothes off. There is no conversation. And this time there is no difficulty. Not the first time. Not the second time.

HART: Stop.

ELIZABETH: He says to me, "Happy belated birthday, Elizabeth," and, you want to hear the unbelievable ending to this sordid little story That was the last time I saw him. That was November - over four months ago. I was absolutely sure he'd call. If only to have sex again, right? No. Never. I thought he'd write. No. So I call him, of course. He couldn't get off the phone fast enough.  So I wrote to him a four-page typed letter. Single-spaced. No response....

I tell myself it was like a fever dream, you know? And, maybe, the fever finally broke. And it all sounds sane and sensible, but, you know something, if he called me right now, right this very second, I'd drop everything in my life and drive three hours, drive thirty hours just to spend one more night with him. What is the matter with me, Larry? 

HART: Why would you drive thirty hours to see someone who treated you like that?

ELIZABETH: Because I'm in love with him?

HART: ...You are?

ELIZABETH: It's illogical. Obsessional. Pathetic. And this is not the first time this has happened to me. It keeps happening to me. I feel like I can't see people clearly. 

She struggles to take a deep breath. He takes out his pocket handkerchief and hands it to her. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This payoff ending was emotionally satisfying because:
- The first 3/4 of the script (Hart talking) builds up to this last 1/4 (Hart silenced).
- This speech delivers a comeuppance to Hart in an unusual way.
-  I expected him to talk over her. Hart's silence thwarted my expectations.
- Hart shows us how he was his own worst enemy, and the structure mimics it.

Blue Moon (2025)(1/9/25 conformed script)
by Robert Kaplow
Inspired by the letters of Lorenz Hart and Elizabeth Weiland 

* For example: here, here, and here.  

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972) - One Key to Writing an Exaggerated Tone in a Tall Tale

[Quick Summary: After outlaw Roy Bean appoints himself judge and jury of Vinegaroon, TX, he encounters wild adventures and famous visitors.]

How do you get across the exaggeration of a tall tale?  One key is that repetition can help the tone.

For example, this is the introduction of Bad Bob in today's script:
- Roy Bean has appointed himself the judge of the county.
- Nick the Grub has left the dangerous life of being one of Bean's deputies and has become an onion farmer. 
- Bad Bob is an antagonist. He arrives at Nick's farm.
- Notice the number of actions that say "Bob is tough," piled on one after another. 
- Notice also how quickly the actions happen in such a short period of time.

EXT. PRAIRIE - FULL SHOT - RIDER

...Bob looked around and dismounted. Nick the Grub had just come out of his hut and was feeding his horse and watering onions. He had a pot of water boiling for coffee. Bob strode over to him, looked the horse up and down and SHOT it between the eyes. It made a hideous SOUND and settled into the dust. [Action 1: Bob shoots a horse without thought or remorse.]

BOB (continuing): Cook it for me. [Action 2: Bob orders Nick to cook a horse, which is a meat that most westerners will not eat.] 

Bob sat down and pulled out a huge onion from the ground. He dusted it off, then took a big bite out of it like it was an apple. He took another and washed them down with the scalding water. That's how mean he was.  [Action 3 & 4: Bob eats an eye watering onion raw, then drinks scalding water.]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Exaggeration is helped in a tall tale by the repetition of the outrageous actions, in both number and speed of delivery.

Audiences unconsciously compare this to real life, and know that repetition of this sort does not really occur. 

The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972) (10/18/71 final draft)
by John Milius  

TODAY'S NUGGET: Fat City (1972) - Strong Introduction to a Character

[Quick Summary: At the same gym, life is repeating itself in the lives of two boxers (one older, one younger).]

THREE THOUGHTS: 

1) HUSTON ON EXPRESSING IDEAS. I agree with what John Huston wrote in his autobiography about the difficulty of expressing the writer's ideas:

The most important element to me is always the idea that I'm trying to express, and everything technical is only a method to make the idea into clear form. I'm always working on the idea: whether I am writing, directing, choosing music or cutting. Everything must revert back to the idea; when it gets away from the idea it becomes a labyrinth of rococo.  

2) FILM VS. SCRIPT. I watched this film first and thought, "What's the point?" I couldn't figure out what Huston's central idea was. 

When I read the script, it also meandered and seemed pointless...until the last 2 pages coaleses into a full circle moment that explains the pointlessness.  

3)  STRONG INTRODUCTION. I did like the strong introduction to the protagonist, Billy Tully (below) because it sets the tone and our expectations.

In this scene:
-  Tully was a good boxer, but has gone to seed.  
- His wife left him, which was a turning point for when things went sour, and from which he hasn't recovered.
- Here, we see that he's the kind of guy always trying to escape responsibility.  
- I also liked that it didn't try to do overload the audience with too much information. This sets the mood of a guy who's sloppy with his work.

INT. STOCKTON BOX FACTORY - TULLY, SAW OPERATOR, FOREMAN, OTHER WORKERS - NIGHT

Tully goes to a saw that is not in use. The SAW OPERATOR, an aging, discouraged-looking man, rises as Tully approaches.

SAW OPERATOR (carefully extinguishing cigarette; yelling over noise of saws): Foreman's been by.

TULLY (voice raised): What he say?

SAW OPERATOR (same pitch): Wanted to know if you were here yet. Said I thought you were in the can.

Tully takes up his position on opposite side of table from the Saw Operator, who now switches on saw and begins feeding small boards into it. Tully stacks the sawed pieces according to size.

THE FOREMAN, a large, muscular, fairly young man, comes up to Tully.

FOREMAN (loud): Well, Tully, I see you finally made it.

TULLY: I got here on time. I been in the lavatory.

FOREMAN: I was just in there. I didn't see you. 

TULLY: When you came in I went out. You walked right by without seeing me.

FOREMAN: I don't have to see you, Tully. If you'd walked past me I'd of smelled you. I 'd know that wine breath anywhere. I could close my eyes and walk right to you. (reaches out, takes an incorrectly sorted piece of wood from Tully's stack, moves it to proper place) Look what you're doing here! Are you drunk? Lucky for you you're not running a saw.

TULLY: Now you got a lot of nerve. In the first place I'm not drunk and, in the second place, I wouldn't have one of your damn saws. I'm not leaving any of my fingers behind for these wages.

FOREMAN (turning away; disgustedly): I never seen such a bunch of deadbeats as on this night crew!

As he walks away, Tully begins to sweat and swallow. He grimaces, closes his eyes. Nausea overcomes him. He gestures to the Saw Operator to stop the saw, hurries away. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this introduction because it leaves us with more questions than answers. What will he do next?

Fat City (1972)(11/4/70 draft)
by Leonard Gardner and John Huston
Adapted from the novel by Leonard Gardner

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Man Who Would Be King (1975) - One Element in World Building To Deliver "Adventure in All Its Glory!"

[Quick Summary: In 1880s India, two Englishmen decide to become kings in Kafiristan, a place where no white man had been since Alexander the Great.]

Recently, I read Kipling's famous short story, The Man Who Would Be King (1888),  and marveled at how it takes you so effortlessly on a grand adventure. 

Would the script deliver the promise from the film's posters ("Adventure in all its glory!")?  It did.

I was surprised at:
1) how faithful this script is to the short story 
2) the fact that the script's ending is more hopeful than the short story.
3) the fact that what sells a great adventure film is how it brings the audience into an untraveled world.  (After all, international travel was uncommon at the time.)

An example of the last point can be found in the scene below: 
- Kipling, the author, put himself into the story as a young newspaper publisher.
- Carnehan (Michael Caine) is one of the English con men.
- I really liked how the writers took the time to set the scene with vivid details, both familiar (our protagonist buying a ticket) and unfamiliar (swarming travelers). 
- I also really liked how they didn't rush the timing of the reveal. Carnehan doesn't look at his loot until he's certain Kipling isn't looking for it. 

 

INT. LAHORE RAILWAY STATION - FULL SHOT - DAY

A swarm of travellers: Sedate Brahmins, shrill Vishnamites, Shivites with caste marks on their palms, Sikhs with daggers in their hair. Crouching Moslem women, in purdah, are like a cluster of little tents.

Two Laden Orderlies shout to clear a passage for a brace of young English Subalterns in the brilliant turbans, sashes and coats of a Horse Regiment. An English family, women and children, wait beside an enormous bastion of trunks and hatboxes. CAMERA PANS to the MOVING CUE before a ticket window, MOVES to:

CLOSE SHOT - KIPLING

KIPLING (to Clerk): Jodhpore... 

As he unbuttons his coat and reaches into a trouser pocket, a HAND comes into SCENE and deftly removes a watch and chain from his waistcoat. Kipling pays for his ticket, picks up his telescope traveling case and turns away from the window. His place is taken by the thief, a sharp-faced man in soiled whites: Carenhan. He pushes a small coin forward onto the counter.

CARNEHAN: Platform ticket.

The roar of a train entering the station SOUNDS over scene as he, in turn, leaves the window. He watches Kipling climb the ramp to the station platform and continue out of sight - then takes the stolen watch out of his pocket and examines it. He frowns and starts slightly.

 INSERT - WATCH-CHAIN AND EMBLEM

The Enblem resting int he palm of his hand: it is the insignia of a Grand Master Freemason - the rayed, all-seeing Eye of God above a pendant square, within the spread arms of a compass.

CARNEHAN'S VOICE (O.S.): Blast!

MEDIUM SHOT - CARNEHAN

Pocketing the watch, he begins to push his way through the crowd toward the ramp. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When building an unfamiliar world, it's helpful to include things that ARE familiar in order to give the audience some context.

The Man Who Would Be King (1975)(11/15/74 draft)
by John Huston and Gladys Hill
Adapted from a short story by Rudyard Kipling/