TODAY'S NUGGET: Tender Mercies (1983) - How A Simple, Clear Motive Can Be Quite Unpredictable (Suspense)

[Quick Summary: A run down, former singer-songwriter gets a second wife and a second chance with his daughter and career.]

I think people like suspense because it is unpredictable.

But what is unpredictable any more without guns or car chases? 

Perhaps one key is to create characters who:
a) are dedicated to clear motives
b) and their motives clash.  

This script is a good example of pure character work being the unpredictable factor rather than external stimuli like explosions. 

Before the scene below:
- The protagonist, Mac, used to be a famous singer until he became an alcoholic.
- Dixie is Mac's ex-wife and is still touring as a famous singer.
- Sue Anne (18) is their daughter, who hasn't seen her dad since she was 6.
- Harry is Dixie's manager.
- Dixie has spoiled Sue Anne, giving her everything except freedom.
- The tour has stopped in a town near Mac's house.
- Note that the unpredictability spring from within these characters. We are constantly uncertain because we don't know how far the characters will go.

INT. DIXIE'S DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT.

SHE is changing her clothes. Sue Anne and HARRY come in.

DIXIE: I told you to wait up here with me when you weren't out front watching the show.

SUE ANNE: I'm sick of watching the show. I've seen it a hundred times.

DIXIE: Then stay up here.

SUE ANNE: I don't want to sit around here by myself.

DIXIE: Then watch T.V.

SUE ANNE: I'm sick of that, too.

SHE starts out.

DIXIE: Where are you going?

SUE ANNE: I'm going back to the hotel.

DIXIE: Why?

SUE ANNE: To change my clothes. I've got a date tonight.

DIXIE: Who with?

SUE ANNE: None of your business.

DIXIE: God damn it. What do you mean it's none of my business.

HARRY: Now, come on, honey. Don't get excited. You still have the rest of the show to do. [His motive is clear: make sure Dixie gets back on stage.]

DIXIE: She's going on no date unless I know who she's going with. [Dixie's motive is clear: don't let Sue Anne go on this date.]

SUE ANNE: Try and stop me. [Sue Anne's motive is clear: I will go on this date.]

DIXIE grabs her. SUE ANNE yanks her arm free and runs out. DIXIE follows to the door. 

DIXIE: (Screaming): Sue Anne. Sue Ann. Sue Anne. (She turns to Harry.) Harry, go after her. Tell her I said she'd better get back here and get back fast.

HE runs out after her.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Characters don't need complicated motives, but they must be strong clashing ones in order to setup the uncertainty of "how far will they go?"

Tender Mercies (1983)(undated)
by Horton Foote

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Cotton Club (1984) - Breaking Through Writer's Block with 4-5 Word Summaries

[Quick Summary: Several stories of a coronet player getting mixed with mobster, racial tensions, in the Roaring Twenties and early Depression.]

There were three things I really liked in this script:

1) THIS LINE OF DIALOGUE:  

DUTCH: ...You make a livin' with that horn?

DIXIE: I'm eatin' but I'm not getting fat.

2) THE FACT THAT THIS SCRIPT JUMPS AROUND A LOT BUT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT. Critic Roger Ebert explains what is in the mix:

Coppola has a way, in this film, of telling all the different stories without giving us the impression he's jumping around a lot. Maybe the music helps. It gives the movie a continuity and an underlying rhythm that makes all of the characters' lives into steps in a sad ballet. We like some of the characters, but we don't have much respect for them, and the movie doesn't bother with clear distinctions between good and evil. "The Cotton Club" is a somewhat cynical movie about a very cynical time, and along with the music and the romance there is racism, cruelty, betrayal, and stunning violence. Romance with a cutting edge.

3) MOST SLUG LINES INCLUDED 4-5 WORD SUMMARY OF "WHAT IS THIS SCENE ABOUT?" It's not a gimmick; it broke through my writer's block.

I was stuck recently and tried this trick to summarize the scene before I wrote it.  Behold!  It cut down on distractions and focused me immediately.

I will note that it was seeing all the various examples that helped.  So I encourage you to read it and page through it for inspiration when you're stuck.

Here are five examples (they're underlined as presented in the script):
- EXT. DWYER APARTMENT - DAY: VINCE SAYS HE'S MARRIED
- EXT. COTTON CLUB - DAY: EXIT AUDITION/SEE LILA ROSE
- INT. HOOFER'S CLUB - DAY: SUGAR REMINDS SANDMAN HE'S LATE
- INT. UBANGI CLUB - NIGHT: BAD JAM SESSION
- INT. DWYER APARTMENT - NIGHT: TEA & TOAST WITH PSYCHOPATH

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've been returning to this script again and again, just to look at the 4-5 word summaries for different ways to tackle scenes.

The Cotton Club (1984)(8/22/83 shooting script)
by William Kennedy and Francis Ford Coppol/a

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) - Two Keys in Delivering Setup-Payoffs in a Screwball Comedy

[Quick Summary: Jim and Muriel buy their dream house in the country, but it's more than they can handle.]

Q: What is one of the joys of screwball comedies?
A: Anticipating and wondering what is the character going to do next (?!).

Q: So what is a screwball writer's greatest fear?
A: That these hijinks will drag on the page.

Q: So how does the writer keep the script fun and lively to read?
A: I think it's balancing the delivery of the setup-payoffs.   

Scene A thwarts the audience's expectations with mini setups-payoffs.  However, it doesn't completely deliver a final payoff that would extinguish the momentum. 

The writer has to pace the setup-payoffs in Scene B, C, D, etc. to keep it rising. 

For example, in today's scene below:
- Note that this isn't a particularly new story, but it is about how the tale is TOLD.
- The setup is easy to read and predictable: Jim starts to rub steam off the mirror, which is something we've all experienced.
- The scene payoff is quick as things start to pile up and it gets ridiculous: his lather needs refreshing, more steam, Muriel contorts herself in the small space. 
- Also note the pacing of these small scene payoffs are like snacks.  They satisfy temporarily, but don't deliver the whole meal yet. 
- However, they're fun enough to continue to build curiosity (momentum) until it answers the overall question at the final payoff (is moving a good idea?)
- This film stars Cary Grant and Myrna Loy.

INT. THE BATHROOM

...Jim - He stands in front of the washstand lathering his face. Over scene we hear Muriel's voice from the shower. She is singing a lusty chorus of "Home on the Range." Jim picks up his razor and turns to the mirror. He reacts with annoyance, as he discovers it is covered with steam. With weary resignation he takes a towel and starts to rub off the mirror. As he clears one section another clouds up. By the time he gets it all reasonably clear he finds that his lather needs freshening. He grimly re-lathers his face only to find that the mirror is again clouded up. As he turns with exasperation toward the shower we see Muriel turn off the water, reach for a towel, start to dry herself. The mirror cleared off, Jim re-lathers, starts to shave. During this, Muriel, having dried herself and donned her robe, comes into scene. 

MURIEL (reaching for toothbrush): Excuse...

She takes her toothbrush and then opens the cabinet to get the paste. Jim, automatically following the mirror, has to squeeze around in a desperately contorted position as he continues shaving.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really enjoy the thwarting of my expectations.  Also, half the fun is watching the setup-payoffs build and build until they explode.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)(undated)
by Melvin Frank and Norman Panama
Based on a novel by Eric Hodgins

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Jewel of the Nile (1985) - Perfectly Timed Dialogue and Action (Stakes, Hope-Fear in Romance)

[Quick Summary: A sequel to Romancing the Stone. After an ambitious African politician kidnaps writer Joan Wilder to write his life's story, the selfish Jack Coulter races to her rescue.] 

I agreed with critic Roger Ebert that this story was good, but it lacked romance:

But the original contract specified a sequel, and it’s to everybody’s credit that “The Jewel of the Nile” is an ambitious and elaborate attempt to repeat the success of the first movie; it’s not just a ripoff. Even so, it lacks some of the pleasures of “Romancing,” especially the development of the romance between Douglas and Turner.

He went on to praise the mechanism of his favorite scene in a rat pit*  

I couldn't find that scene in this draft, but found a similar one in which the emotional and physical beats fall like clockwork (below):
- Joan, Jack, and the Jewel have arrived at a village.
- The Chief will let them pass if they pay the $1M toll.
- Pay attention to the rhythm of the scene.
- Notice the hope-fear-hope-fear pattern winds up the tension.

EXT. NUBIAN VILLAGE

...The CHIEF talks aside with the Jewel.

JEWEL: You don't have to pay it. ... Instead he will take Joan for one hour. [Fear. Emotional stakes are high here.]

Jack stops dancing. Looks at Joan.

JOAN: He's kidding. [Hope. She tries to dispel the fear.]

JEWEL: Just one hour. [Fear.]

JACK (teasing): Well Joan, now you can do something serious. Something that really matters. (to the Chief) Go ahead. 

The NUBIANS laugh as Jack offers the CHIEF Joan's hand. All one big joke. Until the CHIEF starts pulling her into his hut.

JACK: OK...fun's fun...hey, that's it. [Fear.]

Now Jack grabs the CHIEF. Wrong move. He's immediately seized by six young toughs. Joan becomes scared. The Chief talks roughly.

JEWEL (translating): He wants to know if you are married? [Emotional stakes.]

JOAN: No.

JEWEL (translating): Any babies? [Higher emotional stakes.]

JACK: No. ...look, what's the difference?

The CHIEF now pushes Jack in the chest. [Physical move that raises stakes.]

JEWEL: Then decide. Either he takes Joan for an hour...

JACK: Or...?

JEWEL: You will lose your leg.  [Fear.]

A terribly OBESE NUBIAN steps forward with a broad AXE on a long handle. The other young toughs stretch out one of Jack's legs. Tension is unbearable. They realize the CHIEF is serious.

JOAN: Jack...I ...I have to. [Rising emotional stakes.]

JACK (straining against their holds): NO!! I forbid you.

JOAN: You can't.

JACK (screams for all he's worth):  NOOOO!!! [Highest tension, stakes.]

The CHIEF looks at Joan.  A wave of his hand and the OBESE NUBIAN raises his axe. Joan turns to the CHIEF. Touches her chest.

JOAN: Yes. Now. 

JACK (half-crazed) Cut the leg. (at the Chief) DAMN IT! CUT OFF MY GODDAMNED LEG!! [FEAR! PEAK OF FEAR!]

JEWEL: That is your decisions?

JACK (really scared): Yes...

JOAN: Jack...

ON THE AXE

High in the air. A beat, then down it comes. BAM! Into the dirt next to Jack. A great CHEER goes up among the Nubians. They start to dance in simple, sweet ecstacy.

JACK - BEING BEAR-HUGGED BY THE CHIEF

ready to faint, looks to Joan, then to the Jewel.

JEWEL (translating): We are free to go no.   ... The Nubians are hopeless romantics. Some tribes enjoy tests of strength. ...They like to test love. [Funny release of tension.]

JACK AND JOAN 

are hoisted on shoulders and carried around the village.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to escalating stakes is the pendulum of emotions swinging from hope to fear.  Don't be afraid to swing widely.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)(1st draft)
by Mark Rosenthal & Lawrence Konner

* Ebert wrote: 

...My favorite moment between them comes as they hang by their hands over a rat pit, while acid gnaws away at the ropes that suspend them above certain doom. Sure, this scene owes something to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” But what’s new about it this time is the dialogue – the way they break down and confess that they love each other, and make marriage plans as death inexorably approaches. And then, when DeVito appears and might possibly save them, there is some business with a ladder that is followed by dialogue so perfectly timed that I laughed not so much in amusement as in delight at how well the mechanisms of the scene fell together. (my underline)

TODAY'S NUGGET: My Favorite Wife (1940) - Making It Easy for the Audience to Follow Trickster Characters (Structure)

[Quick Summary: After being missing for 7 years, an anthropologist returns to find her husband has just re-married that day.]

I love Cary Grant as a "trickster" character in screwball comedies because he often paint himself into a corner. How will he get out of this?!

Tricksters make wild decisions on a whim, causing many twists and turns.  Thus it is important to keep the story line fairly straightforward and relatable.

ex. This script's structure has a lot of twists and turns:
- Ellen, an anthropologist on an expedition, is presumed dead at sea.
- It turns out she's spent the last 7 years on a deserted island.
- She returns to find her husband Nick has just married wife #2, Bianca.  
- Nick finds out Ellen is not only alive, but had been on the island with Mr. Burkett, a fellow traveler on the ship.
- Ellen brings in a fake Burkett to meet Nick.
- Nick brings the real Burkett to confront Ellen.
- However, the real Burkett surprises them by declaring he wants to marry Ellen. 
- Despite all this ruckus, note that the simple jealousy story line makes it easy for the audience to follow the action.
- I also liked the smart (but hard to pull off) structural twist: Nick must choose between two wives --> It flips to Ellen now must choose between two husbands. 

Here's a sample of showing jealousy.  Note how it doesn't rush the emotions:

 EXT. GARDEN - DAY

...MED. CLOSE SHOT - of Nick, as he watches, fascinated apparently.

LONG SHOT - Burkett, beautifully build, ascends the lower diving board. He leaps from the diving board and catches the rings in mid-air. 

CLOSE SHOT - as the figure swirls through an intricate movement, every muscle showing.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as his head moves from left to right with Burkett's movements.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Burkett, as his chest expands to the breaking point.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as he stares, horrified.

LONG SHOT - as Burkett completes a complicated maneuver.

LONG SHOT - as the spectators burst into spontaneous applause.

MED. CLOST SHOT - as Nick feebly joins in applause.

LONG SHOT - figure still swinging.

                                                                               DISSOLVE

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Trickster characters are inherently contradictory and conflicted, i.e., interesting to watch. Thus, keep the plot simple.

Also, take your time allowing the emotions to rise/fall, as in the scene above. Most of the fun is watching tricksters squirm and evade problems. 

My Favorite Wife (1940)(undated draft)
by Bella & Sam Spewack
Story by Bella & Sam Spewack, and Leo McCarey

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Fisher King (1991) - When Brusque Kindness Breaks Through a Character's Shell

[Quick Summary: After he made a mistake that severely affected a homeless man, a fired radio DJ tries to absolve his guilt by befriending the man.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) EXCELLENCE AIN'T CHEAP. This is an excellent script, but it didn't come easy.  (See here for an in-depth interview with the writer Richard LaGravanese).

2) CHARACTERS WHO CARE.  For me, the script rises above others because we feel the characters care about others, even if they're seemingly rude or abrupt.

For example:
- Jack, the DJ, befriends a homeless man, Parry.
- Parry is in love with an office worker, Lydia, but from afar.
- Jack is living with Anne. She has issues with his lack of commitment.
- Jack asks Anne to help him set up Parry and Lydia.
- Jack and Anne get Lydia to come to Anne's video store under false pretenses.
- Lydia admires Anne's nails. 
- Anne offers to do Lydia's nails so that Parry and Jack can "casually drop by."
- Anne is a brusque and isn't exactly excited about this farce, but she is kind.
- I really liked how the writer used this brusque kindness  (Anne) to get past a defensive shell (Lydia).
- The key to the breakthrough is Anne's empathy with Lydia's situation.

INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER

ANNE works the other hand, as LYDIA sips her tequila from a straw.

ANNE: ...SO...anybody special in your life?

LYDIA (defensive): Do I look like I have someone special?

SHE moves to picks up her tequila with the manicured hand but ANNE eyes her down.

ANNE: Well, don't say it like that. It's not so...ya know, crazy an idea. You are a healthy woman...You hold a steady job. Ya not crossed eyed or anything... [Here, Anne seems rude, but she is actually complimenting Lydia.]

LYDIA: Well, there's nobody special! [Lydia is defensive.]

ANNE: Fine.

LYDIA (pause, then:): I mean it's not easy in this day and age. [However, the empathy makes Lydia feel seen.]

ANNE: What?

LYDIA: Meeting...people.

ANNE: Tell me about it. I've been dating longer than I've been driving. I can't believe that. [Anne identifies how being rejected feels, i.e., again saying "I understand."]

LYDIA: I never really...went through a ...dating period.

ANNE: It's a disgusting process. You haven't missed anything.

LYDIA nods in agreement, but her face tells us she feels she has missed a great deal.  [Some nitpickers may say, "hey, that's 'telling' rather than 'showing'!" but I'd challenge you to do better. How would you explain what an abstract concept like "breakthrough" looks like?!]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Don't be afraid of characters with rough edges. Don't berate yourself if you can't perfectly abide by "show, not tell."

The Fisher King (1991)(revised 6/30/90)
by Richard LaGravanese

TODAY'S NUGGET: Wrongfully Accused (1998) - A Clever, Spoof Comedy with a Double Take Sight Gag

[Quick Summary: A wrongfully accused man must track down the one-eyed, one-armed, and one-legged man to clear his name.]

Q: What do you think are the best films in the genre?
A: Airplane (1980) and Naked Gun (1988), which star one of the best spoof comedy actors ever, Leslie Nielsen.  (He also stars in today's featured script.)

Q: Spoof comedies are hard to write.  Why didn't you like this one?
A: Around this time, the genre seemed to be running out of new ideas.  

Q: What do you like to see in a spoof comedy?
A: When the story goes off on unexpected tangents.  Or showing something you think you know --> springing a surprise --> which makes you do a double take.

ex.  Today's script does have a great double take sight gag:
- Our hero, Ryan Jack Harrison is at a bait shop, on the run.
- He sees a 'wanted' poster of his own face.
- He draws "big, Buddy Holly glasses, a long ZZ Top beard, and blacks out a few teeth" on the poster.  We immediately ask ourselves, "How is this going to help?!
- The bait shop owner is Roman.
- I love this scene because it's a rare to have a double take WITHIN a sight gag.

INT. "ROMAN'S" - DAY

...[Ryan]starts to leave. Roman pulls a gun.

ROMAN: Don't move, Harrison!

Ryan is about to raise his hands when Roman pushes him aside. Roman's gun is trained on:

ANGLE - MAN

Big Buddy Holly glasses, long ZZ Top beard, and a few blacked out teeth. He looks exactly like Ryan's alterations on the poster.

ANGLE - RYAN

Quietly exits.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that this sight gag was so simple.  I expected Roman to go after Ryan, but instead, Roman went after "Ryan."

Wrongfully Accused (1998)(4/11/97 revised)
by Pat Proft

TODAY'S NUGGET: Action Jackson (1988) - An Infallible Protagonist is NOT a Shortcut to a Heroic Hero

[Quick Summary: A demoted Detroit police sergeant (but Harvard law grad!) pursues an auto manufacturer who is systematically killing off union leaders.]  

I'd never heard of this film and was curious about it because:
1) of the title; and
2) it starred Carl Weathers in 1988 (a few years after Rocky and Predator).

It was not a well reviewed film* and I can see why:
- lots of loose ends
- dialogue that tells the plot
- the protagonist is unrealistically infallible: a Harvard law grad turned police sergeant rarely has doubts or makes mistakes.

I can see why Weathers signed on.  There is a LOT of action. However, the lack of character development makes the story just okay.

I do wish there were more emotionally tense setup-payoff scenes like the one below:
- Mr. Delaplane is receiving the Man of the Year award.
- Jackson put his son in jail.
- I liked the unexpected surprise of this scene, i.e., Jackson makes a wrong assumption about Delaplane's wife, and she gets the upper hand.
- I also liked how Jackson makes a mistake.  When he's invulnerable, it's boring.

INT. HYATT BALLROOM - NIGHT

...The blonde notices that Jacking is eating, and casually moves closer to his side without a hint of flirtation.

BLONDE: You can hardly hear what he's saying back here.

JACKSON: I know. Best seat in the house.

BLONDE: I take it you're not a friend of Mr. Delaplane.

JACKSON: Not unless they've changed the definition. What's he saying anyway?

BLONDE: Something about how he earned his money the old fashioned way.

JACKSON: That's right. He married it.

She gives him a look of genuine surprise.

BLONDE: You really think so?

Delaplane seems to be wrapping up his acceptance speech.

DELAPLANE: And they say that behind every man is a woman. I wish I could say that mine is behind me, but perhaps she will be in a moment. Patrice?

BLONDE (smiling): I bet I can make you change your mind.

She leaves Jackson and walks the length of the auditorium to join Delaplane at the podium.

DELAPLANE: Ladies and gentlemen, my bride, Patrice Delaplane.

The crowd APPLAUDS, and Jackson stares in shock at the happy couple.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This protagonist was set up to be heroic.  He's a law grad (smart), a good cop (dedicated), infallible. This isn't heroic (or very interesting).

Heroism requires tough choices. It's easiest to see when a character has flaws or doubts, yet chooses to do good.

Action Jackson (1988)
by Robert Reneau

*Even Roger Ebert was puzzled: "What can you make of a movie that has one scene where a cop outruns a taxi cab and another one where a villain shoots his wife in the stomach while kissing her, and then keeps on kissing? What’s going on here? “Action Jackson” plays like a cross between “Superman” and “The Face of Death,” and that’s not intended as a compliment. Rarely have comedy and gruesome violence been combined in such a blithe mixture, as if the violence didn’t really count."

2025 OSCARS: Sing Sing (2024) - The Line of Dialogue That Tells the Multi-Layered Truth

[Quick Summary: Divine G and a group of prisons find deeper meaning when they put on their own time travel play/musical.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

In this line, Divine G speaks of taking ballet at the famous FAME high school:

DIVINE G: ...There's no room for lies in ballet.

I like it because it is economical and says so much about:
- his potential once upon a time
- his understanding of the finer arts
- a metaphor for what fine arts help uncover inside people
- in subtext, what the troupe is trying to uncover through acting.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm sure this line of dialogue was honed and honed and honed. It doesn't happen spontaneously (though it may appear to be).

Sing Sing (2024)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Story by Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar, Clarence "Divine Eye" Maclin, & John "Divine G" Whitfield
Based on "The Sing Sing Follies" by John H. Richardson & "Breakin' The Mummy's Code" by Brent Buell

2025 OSCARS: Nickel Boys (2024) - The Line That's Very Complicated to Execute

[Quick Summary: In 1966 Florida, two young boys navigate life in a reform school.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

One of the hallmarks of this film is that it's told in one point of view at a time.

Because it's always from one person's POV, cinematographer Jomo Fray has said that the following line looks simple on the page, but not in execution.*

In this scene:
- This is from Elwood's POV.
- Elwood sits next to his grandma Hattie on a bus.
- The camera starts from Elwood's eye level, then underneath his bus seat.
- How did they make room for the camera to flip upside down? How did they light the scene for the complicated camera move (above the seat --> below the seat)?!
- I am impressed they left in such a complicated camera move in the script, especially because the budget was low.

INT. CITY BUS - FRENCHTOWN - 1966 - DAY (D15)

 ...As Hattie's hand turns a page, Elwood sees a LITTLE GIRL slide herself feet first from under their seat forward into the space between his own shoes, all the way until her face is visible.

... Elwood bends all the way forward and looks under his seat watching the kid slide backwards under other seats, legs and shoes of passengers toward the back of the bus.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite a shoestring budget, these writers were bold enough to aim high.  Don't let your budget dictate to your creativity.

Nickel Boys (2024)
by RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes
Based on the novel by Colson Whitehead

*Sorry, I really tried to keep this post to a single line (the last one starting with "Elwood bends"), but it was hard to explain without context.