[Quick Summary: In a small fictional town, grieving, embittered mother of a rape victim buys three billboards to provoke the police into action.]
Two McDonagh scripts, then and now:
1) THEN
A few years ago, a development exec asked me to cover an unproduced script by a guy called Martin McDonagh. I went in cold, knowing nothing, as I preferred.
I was not prepared. Not for the levels of graphic violence, swearing, nudity, etc.* Not for my wincing and/or reading in trepidation between my fingers.
Not for the brilliant grasp of story. And especially not for my paradoxical reaction.
Officially, I was offended on behalf of humanity.
Unofficially, I couldn't stop reading (even though I was officially offended).
What was so special? Whether I agreed or not...Whether I might be shocked, appalled, or embarrassed, I understood what the characters wanted and why.
2) NOW
McDonagh's scripts are getting even better. There is still clarity of motive.
However, I thought today's script was a particularly good example of the third "thing" that develops in the space between two characters.**
In the scene below, Sheriff Willoughby is dying of cancer. He wants the protagonist Mildred to get rid of the billboards. She wants him off her back.
Notice what forms between them in this push-and-pull scene.
ex. "WILLOUGHBY: What's Charlie think about these here billboards of yours, an ex-cop like Charlie?
MILDRED: Ex-cop, ex-wife-beater. Same difference, I guess, right? [We learn more of Charlie. What is our opinion of him? Somewhere between W and M's opinions?]
WILLOUGHBY: His word against yours, though, right? (pause) Charlie don't know about them, does he?
MILDRED: It's none of his business. [Ah! W uncovered M's secret.]
WILLOUGHBY: He's kinda paying for 'em though, ain't he?
MILDRED: I'm paying for 'em. [Do we think Charlie should know? Again, probably somewhere between W and M's opinions.]
WILLOUGHBY: This month you are. How about when...
WILLOUGHBY suddenly let's [sic] out a short sharp cough which spurts a spray of blood that hits MILDRED in the face, wholly by accident. Horrified, shaking, WILLOUGHBY tries to wipe her face with a handkerchief, MILDRED almost in tears at his embarrassment.
WILLOUGHBY (cont'd): I didn't mean to... [W's shame is about more than the blood.]
MILDRED: I know... [M knows what he means.]
WILLOUGHBY: It was an accident...
MILDRED: I know, baby. [M, at her most tender. This is startling, contrasted to her behavior everywhere else. ]
WILLOUGHBY: It's blood.
MILDRED: I know. [She's embarrassed for him, even if she can't say it.]
They're both in tears, and there's a desperation in his eyes, as he sits there shaking.
MILDRED (cont'd): I'll go get somebody... [Helpless M is not seen often. It's uncomfortable for all.]
She rushes out the door."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how this space between two characters was so alive and active. Also, it requires the audience to get involved (infer, deduce, etc.)
Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri (2017)
by Martin McDonagh
*None of which was ever gratuitous, surprisingly enough.
**I wonder if this is due to McDonagh's playwright training?
Monday, February 26, 2018
Monday, February 19, 2018
2018 OSCARS: The Shape of Water (2017) - What a Non-Verbal, Developing Romance Looks Like
[Quick Summary: In a 1962 top secret Baltimore facility, a mute janitor falls in love and frees an amphibian man, who the government wants to exploit.]
My two cents:
1) Pros and Cons
PRO: This script has several, very strong, three dimensional characters.
CON: The script delved into several characters' personal lives in order to show their bias against the creature. It pulled me out of the main story and felt tangential.
PRO: It is well written and very emotional on the page.
CON: Was there a purpose to the narration on p.1-2? It was confusing to me.
2) What a Non-Verbal, Developing Romance Looks Like
I did think the following montage was quite effective to show the developing intimacy between Elisa and the creature.
It's so romantic how they're learning more about each other and responding.
ex. "MONTAGE
- Five eggs. Boiling. Dancing slowly in the water.
- Elisa sets all five Boiled Eggs on the edge of the pool.
- The creature emerges. Does the sign for "egg". [He has adapted to her language.]
- Elisa chooses new records.
- Her locker room is filling up with LP's. [She's trying to figure out what he likes.]
- Elisa travels on the bus with more eggs and records. [She's making a real effort.]
- Elisa mops - a smile on her face. Zelda watches, concerned. [She shows the effects of a real relationship.]
- Elisa readies her bath - mesmerized by the water. [She thinks about him.]
- Giles watches as Elisa "borrow" extra eggs from his fridge. [Her behavior is changing.]
- Elisa packs all 7,8,9 eggs in her paper bag.
- Elisa shows a new record to the creature in the cylinder. [She brings him a gift.]
- She mops while the music plays
Quietly, Hoffstetler enters the lab just as the song ends:
The Amphibian Man bangs on the glass to ELISA and signs: "play a different record." His markings brighten. [He shows physical signs of emotional changes.]
ELISA signs- asking him to "point." The AMPHIBIAN MAN points. Elisa turns the record around. "MOONGLOW" by Benny Goodman plays.
Elisa dances in front of the cylinder. [She delights in his choice.]
The AMPHIBIAN MAN swims, delighted! [He delights in her.]
Elisa walks over and puts one hand up against the glass, slowly, the creature puts a hand up "against" hers. His markings active and color-changing. [They connect physically and emotionally.]
Her smile turns wistful. She keeps her hand there. Leans her forehead on the glass. [They show longing.]
Hoffstetler watches- a tray of raw fish in his hands- Mesmerized. Moved."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Non-verbal romance = Showing how two souls learn and connect with each other.
The Shape of Water (2017)
by Guillermo Del Toro & Vanessa Taylor
Story by Guillermo Del Toro
My two cents:
1) Pros and Cons
PRO: This script has several, very strong, three dimensional characters.
CON: The script delved into several characters' personal lives in order to show their bias against the creature. It pulled me out of the main story and felt tangential.
PRO: It is well written and very emotional on the page.
CON: Was there a purpose to the narration on p.1-2? It was confusing to me.
2) What a Non-Verbal, Developing Romance Looks Like
I did think the following montage was quite effective to show the developing intimacy between Elisa and the creature.
It's so romantic how they're learning more about each other and responding.
ex. "MONTAGE
- Five eggs. Boiling. Dancing slowly in the water.
- Elisa sets all five Boiled Eggs on the edge of the pool.
- The creature emerges. Does the sign for "egg". [He has adapted to her language.]
- Elisa chooses new records.
- Her locker room is filling up with LP's. [She's trying to figure out what he likes.]
- Elisa travels on the bus with more eggs and records. [She's making a real effort.]
- Elisa mops - a smile on her face. Zelda watches, concerned. [She shows the effects of a real relationship.]
- Elisa readies her bath - mesmerized by the water. [She thinks about him.]
- Giles watches as Elisa "borrow" extra eggs from his fridge. [Her behavior is changing.]
- Elisa packs all 7,8,9 eggs in her paper bag.
- Elisa shows a new record to the creature in the cylinder. [She brings him a gift.]
- She mops while the music plays
Quietly, Hoffstetler enters the lab just as the song ends:
The Amphibian Man bangs on the glass to ELISA and signs: "play a different record." His markings brighten. [He shows physical signs of emotional changes.]
ELISA signs- asking him to "point." The AMPHIBIAN MAN points. Elisa turns the record around. "MOONGLOW" by Benny Goodman plays.
Elisa dances in front of the cylinder. [She delights in his choice.]
The AMPHIBIAN MAN swims, delighted! [He delights in her.]
Elisa walks over and puts one hand up against the glass, slowly, the creature puts a hand up "against" hers. His markings active and color-changing. [They connect physically and emotionally.]
Her smile turns wistful. She keeps her hand there. Leans her forehead on the glass. [They show longing.]
Hoffstetler watches- a tray of raw fish in his hands- Mesmerized. Moved."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Non-verbal romance = Showing how two souls learn and connect with each other.
The Shape of Water (2017)
by Guillermo Del Toro & Vanessa Taylor
Story by Guillermo Del Toro
Monday, February 12, 2018
2018 OSCARS: Lady Bird (2017) - Humor Through Situation
[Quick Summary: A very clear, amusing character study of a 17 y.o. Sacramento girl's senior year, with the typical self-absorption and arrogance of youth.]
I liked this script because the characters were fully formed and three dimensional.
I will remember this script because:
1) The situations were very specific.*
2) The humor came out of these very specific situations (vs. funny dialogue).
This is the scene below:
- A 17 y.o. has not gotten into the school of her choice.
- This is likely her first taste of harsh reality settling in.
- She has little life experience, so handles disappointment poorly (lashes out).
- Marion is the mother. Larry is the father. Miguel is adopted brother. Shelly is Miguel's girlfriend.
Note how the humor comes out of specifics:
- The situation is funny because her hysterics are disproportionate to the big picture.
- It starts controlled and deteriorates into argument (very universal!)
- It's not so much WHAT is said as HOW words are used to thrust and parry.
ex. "INT. FAMILY/COMPUTER/MIGUEL'S ROOM. DAY.
Lady Bird sits at the computer with a list of instructions in front of her - Marion, Larry, Shelly and Miguel stand behind her.
LADY BIRD: It's a new system - you just enter your social security number and... [I like the building of anticipation here.]
She is presses [sic] ENTER and is lead you [sic] to a website that lists all the schools in the UC system she applied to with a "yes" or a "no" beside them. They all say no except for...
LADY BIRD (CONT'D): DAVIS?! [LB is outraged.]
MARION (relieved): Davis is good. Maybe you should have looked at it. [Very grounded response.]
LADY BIRD: It's only half an hour away! Less if you're driving fast! [This is her criteria?! Funny.]
LARRY: I went to graduate school there.
SHELLY: Lots of smart people go to Davis.
LADY BIRD: I thought Berkeley had to accept me. You and Miguel went there. I'm a legacy. [An entitled, childish, emotional response.]
LARRY: Eh, not if we don't give money. [Realistic, parental response.]
MIGUEL: And you get bad grades. [Snarky sibling response.]
LADY BIRD: Oh what do you know about it? [She doesn't know how to deal, so picks a fight.]
MIGUEL: Meaning?
LADY BIRD: Nothing. [Passive aggressive, insult.]
MIGUEL (turning red): What are you implying? YOU FUCKING RACIST. [He's offended. Conflict escalates.]
LADY BIRD: I didn't say anything. [She defends her "non" position.]
MIGUEL: I DIDN'T PUT DOWN MY RACE! [He defends against her "non" position.]
LADY BIRD: I'm sure they had no idea, MIGUEL! [More passive aggressive attacking.]
MIGUEL: You are actually fucking evil. What is wrong with you?
MARION: GO - GO TO YOUR ROOM!
LADY BIRD: I'm not FIVE!
MARION: I did not raise you like this, I didn't --
LADY BIRD: I don't have to go ANYWHERE! I'm not going to a fucking university that's famous for it's fucking AGRICULTURAL SCHOOL. [She, stung by rejection, erupts with nonsense.]
She runs out, furious. She'd kick the computer if she could.
LADY BIRD (O.S.)(CONT'D): AND MIGUEL AND SHELLY YOU'LL NEVER GET JOBS WITH ALL THAT SHIT IN YOUR FACE! [She gets the last word.]
Miguel self-consciously puts his hand to his nose-ring, rotating it. Shelly mentally tallies all her piercings."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm beginning to understand that humor can come from the structure of the situation, i.e., "not what characters say, but how they say it (and what it's used for)."
Lady Bird (2017)
by Greta Gerwig
*I have noticed that when a situation is very specific, it seems very universal as well.
I liked this script because the characters were fully formed and three dimensional.
I will remember this script because:
1) The situations were very specific.*
2) The humor came out of these very specific situations (vs. funny dialogue).
This is the scene below:
- A 17 y.o. has not gotten into the school of her choice.
- This is likely her first taste of harsh reality settling in.
- She has little life experience, so handles disappointment poorly (lashes out).
- Marion is the mother. Larry is the father. Miguel is adopted brother. Shelly is Miguel's girlfriend.
Note how the humor comes out of specifics:
- The situation is funny because her hysterics are disproportionate to the big picture.
- It starts controlled and deteriorates into argument (very universal!)
- It's not so much WHAT is said as HOW words are used to thrust and parry.
ex. "INT. FAMILY/COMPUTER/MIGUEL'S ROOM. DAY.
Lady Bird sits at the computer with a list of instructions in front of her - Marion, Larry, Shelly and Miguel stand behind her.
LADY BIRD: It's a new system - you just enter your social security number and... [I like the building of anticipation here.]
She is presses [sic] ENTER and is lead you [sic] to a website that lists all the schools in the UC system she applied to with a "yes" or a "no" beside them. They all say no except for...
LADY BIRD (CONT'D): DAVIS?! [LB is outraged.]
MARION (relieved): Davis is good. Maybe you should have looked at it. [Very grounded response.]
LADY BIRD: It's only half an hour away! Less if you're driving fast! [This is her criteria?! Funny.]
LARRY: I went to graduate school there.
SHELLY: Lots of smart people go to Davis.
LADY BIRD: I thought Berkeley had to accept me. You and Miguel went there. I'm a legacy. [An entitled, childish, emotional response.]
LARRY: Eh, not if we don't give money. [Realistic, parental response.]
MIGUEL: And you get bad grades. [Snarky sibling response.]
LADY BIRD: Oh what do you know about it? [She doesn't know how to deal, so picks a fight.]
MIGUEL: Meaning?
LADY BIRD: Nothing. [Passive aggressive, insult.]
MIGUEL (turning red): What are you implying? YOU FUCKING RACIST. [He's offended. Conflict escalates.]
LADY BIRD: I didn't say anything. [She defends her "non" position.]
MIGUEL: I DIDN'T PUT DOWN MY RACE! [He defends against her "non" position.]
LADY BIRD: I'm sure they had no idea, MIGUEL! [More passive aggressive attacking.]
MIGUEL: You are actually fucking evil. What is wrong with you?
MARION: GO - GO TO YOUR ROOM!
LADY BIRD: I'm not FIVE!
MARION: I did not raise you like this, I didn't --
LADY BIRD: I don't have to go ANYWHERE! I'm not going to a fucking university that's famous for it's fucking AGRICULTURAL SCHOOL. [She, stung by rejection, erupts with nonsense.]
She runs out, furious. She'd kick the computer if she could.
LADY BIRD (O.S.)(CONT'D): AND MIGUEL AND SHELLY YOU'LL NEVER GET JOBS WITH ALL THAT SHIT IN YOUR FACE! [She gets the last word.]
Miguel self-consciously puts his hand to his nose-ring, rotating it. Shelly mentally tallies all her piercings."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm beginning to understand that humor can come from the structure of the situation, i.e., "not what characters say, but how they say it (and what it's used for)."
Lady Bird (2017)
by Greta Gerwig
*I have noticed that when a situation is very specific, it seems very universal as well.
Monday, February 5, 2018
2018 OSCARS: Get Out (2017) - Emotional Building Blocks
[Quick Summary: When a young African American man accompanies his Caucasian girlfriend to meet her parents, he uncovers an awful horror.]
"A screenplay is not written to be read. It is written to be filmed."
Ugh. True, but ugh. What does it mean?!
How can you NOT read a screenplay?
How do you write something (words) to be filmed (pictures)?
As a new writer, I had the bright idea that I could just copy shooting scripts. Wrong.
Years went by and I continued to read shooting scripts but wrote crap. Why?
I was focusing too much on shooting script format and style (ex. he sits, she stands) rather than how WORDS form PICTURES THAT CONVEY AN EMOTION (ex. he jumps to his feet every time she gets up from the dinner table).
Today's shooting script is a good example to study.
It's not perfect and I wished for a little more than the utilitarian style.
However, if you can see the big picture, each scene conveys an emotional building block moving us forward.
How does the scene below make you feel? Loyal? Like a team?
ex. "INT. ROSE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
...Rose finally pulls her driver's license from her purse. The Officer looks at it and over at Chris.
OFFICER RYAN: You two coming up from the city?
ROSE: Yeah. My parents live in the Lake Pontaco area. We're up here for the weekend.
OFFICER RYAN: Sir...? Can I see your license?
CHRIS: Oh...yeah. I have a state I.D.
ROSE: Wait, why?
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am?
ROSE: He wasn't driving?
OFFICER RYAN: I didn't ask if he was driving, I asked to see his I.D.
ROSE (to Officer Ryan): But why? It doesn't make any sense.
CHRIS: Here.
Chris offers Officer Ryan his I.D.
ROSE: No, fuck that. He shouldn't have to show you his I.D. because he hasn't done anything wrong.
CHRIS: Baby. It's okay --
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am, any time there is an incident we have the right to --
ROSE: That's bullshit!
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am...
There is a tense silence. Officer Ryan gives up. Not worth the trouble. Officer Ryan's walkie chimes in.
OFFICER FROSTY: Everything alright up there Crowsie?
He presses his walkie button.
OFFICER RYAN: Yeah, I'm all good. (to Chris and Rose) You guys drive safe.
Rose and Chris get into their car.
OFFICER RYAN (cont'd): Get that headlight fixed...And the mirror."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When they say "Screenplays are written to be filmed," they mean that they are filming a scene that convey an emotion --> series of emotional scenes --> a story.
Get Out (2017)
by Jordan Peele
"A screenplay is not written to be read. It is written to be filmed."
Ugh. True, but ugh. What does it mean?!
How can you NOT read a screenplay?
How do you write something (words) to be filmed (pictures)?
As a new writer, I had the bright idea that I could just copy shooting scripts. Wrong.
Years went by and I continued to read shooting scripts but wrote crap. Why?
I was focusing too much on shooting script format and style (ex. he sits, she stands) rather than how WORDS form PICTURES THAT CONVEY AN EMOTION (ex. he jumps to his feet every time she gets up from the dinner table).
Today's shooting script is a good example to study.
It's not perfect and I wished for a little more than the utilitarian style.
However, if you can see the big picture, each scene conveys an emotional building block moving us forward.
How does the scene below make you feel? Loyal? Like a team?
ex. "INT. ROSE'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
...Rose finally pulls her driver's license from her purse. The Officer looks at it and over at Chris.
OFFICER RYAN: You two coming up from the city?
ROSE: Yeah. My parents live in the Lake Pontaco area. We're up here for the weekend.
OFFICER RYAN: Sir...? Can I see your license?
CHRIS: Oh...yeah. I have a state I.D.
ROSE: Wait, why?
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am?
ROSE: He wasn't driving?
OFFICER RYAN: I didn't ask if he was driving, I asked to see his I.D.
ROSE (to Officer Ryan): But why? It doesn't make any sense.
CHRIS: Here.
Chris offers Officer Ryan his I.D.
ROSE: No, fuck that. He shouldn't have to show you his I.D. because he hasn't done anything wrong.
CHRIS: Baby. It's okay --
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am, any time there is an incident we have the right to --
ROSE: That's bullshit!
OFFICER RYAN: Ma'am...
There is a tense silence. Officer Ryan gives up. Not worth the trouble. Officer Ryan's walkie chimes in.
OFFICER FROSTY: Everything alright up there Crowsie?
He presses his walkie button.
OFFICER RYAN: Yeah, I'm all good. (to Chris and Rose) You guys drive safe.
Rose and Chris get into their car.
OFFICER RYAN (cont'd): Get that headlight fixed...And the mirror."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When they say "Screenplays are written to be filmed," they mean that they are filming a scene that convey an emotion --> series of emotional scenes --> a story.
Get Out (2017)
by Jordan Peele
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