[Quick Summary: Lady Sarah Marlborough, the Queen's trusted confidante, and Abigail, a new social climber, make pawns of Queen Anne and England.]
For this year's 10 Oscars scripts, I've decided to pick out two things that I think that each script does well.
WHAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) The ending left me thinking. I do not think every ending has to be happy.
However, they should be satisfying and predictable.*
This script adds the extra layer of "thought provoking," which is a special bonus.
After a full script of manipulating and being manipulated, a major character gets a well timed "aha!" moment that comes too late.
"Is that all manipulation brings?!" I wondered. Great food for thought.
2) The subtext of manipulation.
Every character in this script is a manipulator.
The best ones make their point without saying so (subtext). This allows the audience the pleasure of putting 2 + 2 together.
For example, in the scene below, note:
- Harley's words do not match his actions.
- The symbolism of the wren = Abigail
ex. "EXT PALACE LAWNS/ EG NIGHT
HARLEY: ....I need a friend Abigail, one with cute ears and wide eyes. I am often blind-sided by the distorted situation at court. As Leader of the Opposition I should not be. I would merely like to know of any plans her Ladyship, Godolphin or the Queen may have.
ABIGAIL: I will not betray my mistress's trust.
HARLEY: Oh look a wren. How cute.
She looks to the trees. Harley trips her and she goes face first into the stony path.
HARLEY (CONT'D): Are you alright? Let me help you up.
He reaches down. She warily reaches out a hand and he pulls her up a little.
HARLEY (CONT'D): Thing is if you're not my friend. You are..
Then suddenly lets her go, she falls back down.
HARLEY (CONT'D): ...by definition my enemy. Anyway, think on it. No pressure.
Harley stalks off. Abigail sees the little wren, lying dead on the ground beside the path."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the writers had something to say and they delivered it cleanly.
The Favourite (2019)(final draft, 3/23/17)
by Deborah Davis and Tony McNamara
* By "predictable," I do not mean dull or trite. I do mean "logical, foreseeable, and/or the payoff to a previous setup."
Monday, January 28, 2019
Monday, January 21, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: California Suite (1978) - Setting Up a Screwball Comedy in the 1st Two Pages
[Quick Summary: Parallel stories of five couples arriving at the Beverly Hills Hotel.]
This was the best FIRST TWO PAGES that I've enjoyed in a very long time.
The script sets us up for a good screwball comedy because its structure lends itself to great conflict:
1) The characters are opposites, and
2) Diana does the unexpected thing.
ex. "INT. PLANE
At the controls is an hysterical YOUNG MAN. He is screaming at the top of his lungs. Next to him, looking cool and radiant, is DIANA BARRIE, quite English and quite collected. In fact, she is powdering her nose. [Afraid vs. calm]
YOUNG MAN (screaming): ...Where's the airport?... There's no airport!! Look for an airport. [Afraid]
DIANA (coolly): Oh, don't make such a fuss. Just put it down among the cacti. [Calm. It is not the expected response.]
YOUNG MAN (shouting, barely able to control it): What do you mean, just put it down? I'm lucky I can keep it up. I told you I never flew before. [Panicking]
DIANA: Don't shout at me. I'm a first class passenger. [Offended. Leads us to believe that she knows little about planes.]
YOUNG MAN: You're a first class Lunatic!...It's all over, Wendy. Our relationship has about a quarter of a gallon to go. [Funny line about relationships.]
DIANA: Yes, but you do love me, Harold? I know it's an awkward time to bring it up, but I must know...for our future. [An important question at an inappropriate time.]
EXT. PLANE
The plane suddenly goes into a dive. Harold SCREAMS. [Afraid still]
POV OF EARTH SPINNING
HAROLD (O.S.): If you like short romances, yes... I love you!!! [No longer emotionally afraid]
EXT. PLANE
suddenly the plane pulls out of its dive.
INT. PLANE (PROCESS)
Diana is handling the controls...
DIANA: I'm so glad. Unrequited love is such a bore. [She pulls a rabbit out of a hat and confounds our expectations.]
He looks at her in utter amazement.
HAROLD: You -- you can fly?
DIANA: Well, it's not all that difficult. It's like making love...You just have to know what to touch! [She gets the punch line too.]
She lowers her lids and smiles at him and banks the plane.
EXT. PLANE - CREDITS
The plane banks into the horizon and flies off...into the sunset.
INT. 747 CABIN
We PULL BACK AND DISCOVER we have just been watching a film on the screen in the cabin of a superjet... The credits of the film we just saw start to come up as the window shades are raised in the cabin and the bright California sunlight shoots through. We SEE the final starring credits...James Coburn and Diana Barrie starred." [Another surprise: This was all a movie.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Since screwball comedy leans heavily on conflict, it is important to choose the right one, preferably one that cannot be resolved too quickly.
California Suite (1978)(final draft, revisions (Mar., 1978))
by Neil Simon
Adapted from his play
This was the best FIRST TWO PAGES that I've enjoyed in a very long time.
The script sets us up for a good screwball comedy because its structure lends itself to great conflict:
1) The characters are opposites, and
2) Diana does the unexpected thing.
ex. "INT. PLANE
At the controls is an hysterical YOUNG MAN. He is screaming at the top of his lungs. Next to him, looking cool and radiant, is DIANA BARRIE, quite English and quite collected. In fact, she is powdering her nose. [Afraid vs. calm]
YOUNG MAN (screaming): ...Where's the airport?... There's no airport!! Look for an airport. [Afraid]
DIANA (coolly): Oh, don't make such a fuss. Just put it down among the cacti. [Calm. It is not the expected response.]
YOUNG MAN (shouting, barely able to control it): What do you mean, just put it down? I'm lucky I can keep it up. I told you I never flew before. [Panicking]
DIANA: Don't shout at me. I'm a first class passenger. [Offended. Leads us to believe that she knows little about planes.]
YOUNG MAN: You're a first class Lunatic!...It's all over, Wendy. Our relationship has about a quarter of a gallon to go. [Funny line about relationships.]
DIANA: Yes, but you do love me, Harold? I know it's an awkward time to bring it up, but I must know...for our future. [An important question at an inappropriate time.]
EXT. PLANE
The plane suddenly goes into a dive. Harold SCREAMS. [Afraid still]
POV OF EARTH SPINNING
HAROLD (O.S.): If you like short romances, yes... I love you!!! [No longer emotionally afraid]
EXT. PLANE
suddenly the plane pulls out of its dive.
INT. PLANE (PROCESS)
Diana is handling the controls...
DIANA: I'm so glad. Unrequited love is such a bore. [She pulls a rabbit out of a hat and confounds our expectations.]
He looks at her in utter amazement.
HAROLD: You -- you can fly?
DIANA: Well, it's not all that difficult. It's like making love...You just have to know what to touch! [She gets the punch line too.]
She lowers her lids and smiles at him and banks the plane.
EXT. PLANE - CREDITS
The plane banks into the horizon and flies off...into the sunset.
INT. 747 CABIN
We PULL BACK AND DISCOVER we have just been watching a film on the screen in the cabin of a superjet... The credits of the film we just saw start to come up as the window shades are raised in the cabin and the bright California sunlight shoots through. We SEE the final starring credits...James Coburn and Diana Barrie starred." [Another surprise: This was all a movie.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Since screwball comedy leans heavily on conflict, it is important to choose the right one, preferably one that cannot be resolved too quickly.
California Suite (1978)(final draft, revisions (Mar., 1978))
by Neil Simon
Adapted from his play
Monday, January 14, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Goodbye Girl (1977) - The Two Step Wrap Up in Act 3
[Quick Summary: When her boyfriend sublets their apartment without a word, a dancer and her daughter are forced to live with the sublessor, an eccentric actor.]
*****NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD*****************
When the protagonist has a flaw in Act 1, he/she usually faces it in Act 3 --> Then the story wraps up on an up or down note.
This script is a comedy (maybe a rom-com?), and I expected it to end on an up note.
The protagonist does face her flaw in Act 3, but it was on a bittersweet note.
I still felt left in the lurch, and wondered, "Is this how it's going to end? She essentially says, 'I love you,' but we never know what he says. Does he ever say it back?!"
To my relief, there was a TWO STEP wrap up instead of the more typical one step.
A little background:
- Paula has been been dumped hard by two other actors who have left her for paying work elsewhere.
- She fears that anyone that she falls for will leave her.
- Elliot moves in. They fight, then fall in love
- In Act 3, Elliot gets an acting job in Seattle.
STEP 1: Paula faces her fear of being left. This is her "I love you."
ex. "INT. BEDROOM
...ELLIOT (controlling himself): Okay...Okay, I get the point...Forget it. I'm not going. It's not worth it. Not if I have to put you through four weeks of hell wondering whether I'm coming back or not...If I got this picture, I can get another one...I'm not going, okay?
PAULA: Okay.
ELLIOT: The hell I'm not. That's crazy! Why should I do a dumb stupid thing because you don't trust me? I'm going. You're just gonna have to trust me...Are you gonna trust me, Paula?
PAULA: I'll plan my days around it.
ELLIOT: Dammit!!...Dammit-to-hell!!...I hate those two guys who walked out of here. I'm the only one who's coming back and I'm getting all the blame.
PAULA: No...You go, Elliot...I want you to go...If you come back, fine. I'll be right here putting up my wallpaper. And if not, that's okay too...I'll miss you but I'll survive, Elliot, because I've grown up these last two months. Look at me. I'm all grown up. It was better than spending a summer at camp. I have never felt better or stronger in my life. Somebody is actually walking out that door and I'm not crumbling into a million pieces...Oh, Jesus, it feels good...Goodbye, Elliot. make a nice move...Have a wonderful career and if you're ever up for an Academy Award, I swear to God I'll keep my fingers crossed for you...."
STEP 2: Elliot does return that same night. This is his "I love you" back.
ex. "THE PHONE BOOTH ON THE CORNER - NIGHT
It is the same one Elliot originally called from. He is very wet. A cab is waiting on the curb.
ELLIOT: Get dressed.
PAULA: What?
(THE PHONE SEQUENCES SHOULD BE INTERCUT AS DESIRED)
ELLIOT: Get dressed, you're coming with me.
PAULA: Where are you?
ELLIOT: On the corner, in my old leaky phone booth...The plane has engine trouble. We're delayed two hours. I cashed in first class for two economy's....
PAULA: I thought you said I couldn't come with you.
ELLIOT: I'll tell them you're my analyst. Actors are known to be very high strung.
PAULA: And you really want me to come?
ELLIOT: Jesus God, you sure love a love scene, don't you? Yes. YES! I want you to com!
PAULA (teary): ...Then it's okay. I don't have to...Just as long as you asked.
ELLIOT: Paula, don't play games with me. My socks are under water."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When the protagonist gets over her fear and does say "I love you," make sure there is a response from the other side, even if it takes 2 steps.
Otherwise, I'm left hanging because the emotional cycle is incomplete.
Goodbye Girl (1977)(rev. dated 12/15/76)
by Neil Simon
*****NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD*****************
When the protagonist has a flaw in Act 1, he/she usually faces it in Act 3 --> Then the story wraps up on an up or down note.
This script is a comedy (maybe a rom-com?), and I expected it to end on an up note.
The protagonist does face her flaw in Act 3, but it was on a bittersweet note.
I still felt left in the lurch, and wondered, "Is this how it's going to end? She essentially says, 'I love you,' but we never know what he says. Does he ever say it back?!"
To my relief, there was a TWO STEP wrap up instead of the more typical one step.
A little background:
- Paula has been been dumped hard by two other actors who have left her for paying work elsewhere.
- She fears that anyone that she falls for will leave her.
- Elliot moves in. They fight, then fall in love
- In Act 3, Elliot gets an acting job in Seattle.
STEP 1: Paula faces her fear of being left. This is her "I love you."
ex. "INT. BEDROOM
...ELLIOT (controlling himself): Okay...Okay, I get the point...Forget it. I'm not going. It's not worth it. Not if I have to put you through four weeks of hell wondering whether I'm coming back or not...If I got this picture, I can get another one...I'm not going, okay?
PAULA: Okay.
ELLIOT: The hell I'm not. That's crazy! Why should I do a dumb stupid thing because you don't trust me? I'm going. You're just gonna have to trust me...Are you gonna trust me, Paula?
PAULA: I'll plan my days around it.
ELLIOT: Dammit!!...Dammit-to-hell!!...I hate those two guys who walked out of here. I'm the only one who's coming back and I'm getting all the blame.
PAULA: No...You go, Elliot...I want you to go...If you come back, fine. I'll be right here putting up my wallpaper. And if not, that's okay too...I'll miss you but I'll survive, Elliot, because I've grown up these last two months. Look at me. I'm all grown up. It was better than spending a summer at camp. I have never felt better or stronger in my life. Somebody is actually walking out that door and I'm not crumbling into a million pieces...Oh, Jesus, it feels good...Goodbye, Elliot. make a nice move...Have a wonderful career and if you're ever up for an Academy Award, I swear to God I'll keep my fingers crossed for you...."
STEP 2: Elliot does return that same night. This is his "I love you" back.
ex. "THE PHONE BOOTH ON THE CORNER - NIGHT
It is the same one Elliot originally called from. He is very wet. A cab is waiting on the curb.
ELLIOT: Get dressed.
PAULA: What?
(THE PHONE SEQUENCES SHOULD BE INTERCUT AS DESIRED)
ELLIOT: Get dressed, you're coming with me.
PAULA: Where are you?
ELLIOT: On the corner, in my old leaky phone booth...The plane has engine trouble. We're delayed two hours. I cashed in first class for two economy's....
PAULA: I thought you said I couldn't come with you.
ELLIOT: I'll tell them you're my analyst. Actors are known to be very high strung.
PAULA: And you really want me to come?
ELLIOT: Jesus God, you sure love a love scene, don't you? Yes. YES! I want you to com!
PAULA (teary): ...Then it's okay. I don't have to...Just as long as you asked.
ELLIOT: Paula, don't play games with me. My socks are under water."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When the protagonist gets over her fear and does say "I love you," make sure there is a response from the other side, even if it takes 2 steps.
Otherwise, I'm left hanging because the emotional cycle is incomplete.
Goodbye Girl (1977)(rev. dated 12/15/76)
by Neil Simon
Monday, January 7, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Career Opportunities (1991) - Showing Vulnerability & Attraction
[Quick Summary: On his first night as the night janitor, a lonely slacker runs amok in the store until he runs into a stowaway and two bumbling thieves.]
TWO THOUGHTS ON VULNERABILITY:
1) TEENS = VULNERABLE YEARS.
I think the hallmark of a John Hughes script is its honest emotional vulnerability.
So it is not surprising that he often places his characters in the teen years, a time when confusion reigns and no one has a protective shell yet.
2) ROMANCE = FEELS SO RISKY
Hughes' romantic, "I like you" scenes really get to me.
Some might say it's because of the sexy energy swirling about, but it is not enough.
Look closer. The awkward, floundering about how one feels is what hits home.
Note:
- Jim had a one-sided high school crush on the unattainable, poor little rich girl Josie.
- They are now 20 y.o., and are trapped together in a K-mart store overnight.
- She was going to call her dad to come get her.
- Notice how he is attracted, but floundering to deal with it.
- Notice how she knows he is attracted, and doesn't know how to deal with his emotions either.
ex. "CU. JOSIE
She's sitting on a makeup stool, looking at herself in a counter mirror. Jim approaches from behind. She's waiting for him. She knows he's coming.
INT. STORE
Jim walks up to the cosmetics counter.
JIM: I guess you didn't call.
Josie shakes her head, no.
JIM: It's none of my business, but I think you're fighting something.
JOSIE: Yeah?
JIM: Yeah. Part of me is pissed off that you're involving me and part of me feels for you.
JOSIE: I know what part feels for me.
Jim resents the remark.
JIM: Why don't you go home?
JOSIE: If I'm bothering you why don't you ignore me?
JIM: Ignore you? Do you know what you make me feel like?
JOSIE: I can't imagine.
JIM: You make me feel filthy.
JOSIE: It's not intentional.
JIM:You know how many hours we spent together in school? No more than five or six feet apart? I know you saw me. I know that somewhere in your memory is a picture of a scrawny little asshole with a home kitchen haircut drooling on his desk looking at you.
Josie holds up a perfume mister. She points it at him and gives a little squirt. He leans back from the mist.
JIM: Thanks.
JOSIE: You like it?
JIM: No.
JOSIE: You like perfume?
JIM (anxious to get back to his original topic): Not personally?
JOSIE: You think it's wrong for a woman to mask her natural scent with something from Revlon?
JIM: I haven't thought about it.
JOSIE: If I was sweating, would you touch me?
JIM (after a pause): I'd touch you if you were covered with spiders.
JOSIE: So, why are you insulting me?
JIM: I didn't think I was.
JOSIE: You were just telling the truth?
JIM: As far as I could see it.
Josie turns away. Looks at herself in the mirror."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Romance requires vulnerability, which in turn requires a lot of risk, which often appears awkward, stupid and/or exposing. But that is real.
Career Opportunities (1991)(draft dated 6/28/89)
by John Hughes
TWO THOUGHTS ON VULNERABILITY:
1) TEENS = VULNERABLE YEARS.
I think the hallmark of a John Hughes script is its honest emotional vulnerability.
So it is not surprising that he often places his characters in the teen years, a time when confusion reigns and no one has a protective shell yet.
2) ROMANCE = FEELS SO RISKY
Hughes' romantic, "I like you" scenes really get to me.
Some might say it's because of the sexy energy swirling about, but it is not enough.
Look closer. The awkward, floundering about how one feels is what hits home.
Note:
- Jim had a one-sided high school crush on the unattainable, poor little rich girl Josie.
- They are now 20 y.o., and are trapped together in a K-mart store overnight.
- She was going to call her dad to come get her.
- Notice how he is attracted, but floundering to deal with it.
- Notice how she knows he is attracted, and doesn't know how to deal with his emotions either.
ex. "CU. JOSIE
She's sitting on a makeup stool, looking at herself in a counter mirror. Jim approaches from behind. She's waiting for him. She knows he's coming.
INT. STORE
Jim walks up to the cosmetics counter.
JIM: I guess you didn't call.
Josie shakes her head, no.
JIM: It's none of my business, but I think you're fighting something.
JOSIE: Yeah?
JIM: Yeah. Part of me is pissed off that you're involving me and part of me feels for you.
JOSIE: I know what part feels for me.
Jim resents the remark.
JIM: Why don't you go home?
JOSIE: If I'm bothering you why don't you ignore me?
JIM: Ignore you? Do you know what you make me feel like?
JOSIE: I can't imagine.
JIM: You make me feel filthy.
JOSIE: It's not intentional.
JIM:You know how many hours we spent together in school? No more than five or six feet apart? I know you saw me. I know that somewhere in your memory is a picture of a scrawny little asshole with a home kitchen haircut drooling on his desk looking at you.
Josie holds up a perfume mister. She points it at him and gives a little squirt. He leans back from the mist.
JIM: Thanks.
JOSIE: You like it?
JIM: No.
JOSIE: You like perfume?
JIM (anxious to get back to his original topic): Not personally?
JOSIE: You think it's wrong for a woman to mask her natural scent with something from Revlon?
JIM: I haven't thought about it.
JOSIE: If I was sweating, would you touch me?
JIM (after a pause): I'd touch you if you were covered with spiders.
JOSIE: So, why are you insulting me?
JIM: I didn't think I was.
JOSIE: You were just telling the truth?
JIM: As far as I could see it.
Josie turns away. Looks at herself in the mirror."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Romance requires vulnerability, which in turn requires a lot of risk, which often appears awkward, stupid and/or exposing. But that is real.
Career Opportunities (1991)(draft dated 6/28/89)
by John Hughes
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