[Quick Summary: A cranky lovelorn produce salesman falls in love with a mysterious stranger who is a mermaid.]
I really like this script for a few reasons:
1) It is rare that a comedy is this solid or this good.
2) It is very rare that a comedy at all is OSCAR NOMINATED. This one deserves it.
3) It has an unusual structure: The antagonist (a scientist) chases the protagonists (Alan & Madison) throughout the whole story, but they don't meet until Act 3.
4) It has a cheeky first line: (It works here but not everywhere.)
ex. "EXT. OFF THE NEW ENGLAND COAST - TWENTY YEARS AGO - DUSK
We know it's twenty years ago, because WE WRITE ON THE SCREEN "TWENTY YEARS AGO," thereby leaving little doubt."
5) It takes the time to lay out Alan's internal conflict and in a funny way.
In the scene below:
- Alan is an usher at his friend Jerry's wedding.
- Freddie is Alan's brother.
- Victoria, Alan's girlfriend, has just dumped Alan.
- Alan is conflicted: lonely, embarrassed, and defensive that Victoria left him.
ex. "INT. CHURCH - A FEW MINUTES LATER
Alan is in the aisle, ushering. Freddie is next to him.
ALAN: There's got to be something wrong with me. (to passing guests) Anywhere, but the first three rows.
GUEST #1: Hey, Freddie, Alan. Where's Victoria?
ALAN: She's uh...sick. (to Freddie) Why didn't I love her? She was bright, sensitive, beautiful.
GUEST: #2: Hey, Alan. Where's Victoria?
ALAN: Flu. Bad flu. Very sick.
GUEST #2: Give her my love.
ALAN: Sure. (to Freddie) I can't even give her my love. I'm serious, Freddie. (points to his heart) Something in here's not working.
FREDDIE: There are worse organs to not be working.
GUEST #3: Hi, guys. Hey, Alan, where's that pretty girl of yours?
ALAN (getting annoyed): She's not coming, okay? You want your money back?
The guest walks off, confused.
ALAN (continuing to Freddie): I don't know. Maybe it's all for the best.
GUEST #4: Hey, Alan --
ALAN (loud): She left me, all right?! She moved out. My life is a shambles. Okay? You got the news, you want the weather. (to someone else, surly) Anywhere, but the first three rows."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Ganz & Mandel scripts are built well. I like that they get to the point, but aren't afraid to lay pipe when needed.
I also like that the humor comes from internal character (Alan is trying to juggle multiple emotions) rather than the external situation (Alan is unhappily single at a happy event.)
Splash (1984)(2nd draft, 2/1/83)
by Lowell Ganz & Babaloo Mandel
Story by Brian Grazer
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