[Quick Summary: A new English teacher at an inner city school is faced with unruly students and jaded faculty.]
Early in my writing journey, I heard a lot of things about writing that I did not understand. Several came from Billy Wilder's 10 rules. For example:
- The more subtle and elegant you are in hiding your plot points, the better you are as a writer.
- A tip from Lubitsch: Let the audience add up two plus two. They'll love you forever.
But how does one DO that? No one could tell me. I despaired. (And by the way, the ONLY way I've learned is to read.*)
What does that LOOK LIKE? Let's look at today's script, a deserving Oscar winner.
In the scene below:
- This is a 1950s, tough inner city school with students out for trouble.
- Lois Hammond, a fellow new teacher, is going to give Rick (protagonist) a lift home.
- This scene sets up a connection between Lois and Rick, which someone will take advantage of later (plot point: team building hidden in a shared battle zone).
- Notice the shoes early + single shoe later = trouble (2 +2).
- Notice how you lean in when you spot 1st clue --> see 2nd clue --> what happened to Lois? This very fine writing is great suspense.
INT. STAIRCASE
...LOIS HAMMOND
She adjusts her second stocking. She starts down stairs. Her black-and-white pumps clack hollowly on stairway.
SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR - RICK
He quickly approaches elevator. He pushes button. The elevator rises carrying half-a-dozen teachers. Among them are Josh Edwards and Jim Murdock. Their voices drift of of cage.
JOSH EDWARDS: Why -- they didn't even know their multiplication tables.
MURDOCK: 'Course not. All they can multiply is themselves. (general laughter)
JOSH EDWARDS: How are they ever graduated?
MURDOCK: Graduated? They got to be 18 and they're thrown out to make room for more of the same kind.
Rick watches elevator ascend. He decides to use stairway, starts down on the run.
STAIRWAY - SHOOTING DOWN
Rick descends. The stairway is deserted except for him.
FIRST FLOOR - FOOT OF STAIRS
Rick comes down. he stops. He looks down corridor for Lois Hammond.
CORRIDOR - RICK'S VIEWPOINT
It is empty, shadowy.
CLOSE - RICK
He looks in other direction toward exit. Lois Hammond is not waiting. He hesitates, shrugs, starts toward exit. MOVE with him. He passes the closed library doors. He stops, turns, looks down.
CLOSE - FLOOR
Near library doors lies a black-and-white woman's pump. Rick leans in and picks it up.
CLOSE - RICK
He looks at shoe in puzzlement. He goes back several steps to the library doors. He looks thru glass portion of doors.
Thru doors, at far side, between two walls of books, can dimly be seen two struggling figures.
Rick pushes at the doors. They are locked. He rattles doorknobs. They won't budge.
Holding the shoe by the sole, he smashes the glass with the high heel. He reaches in and opens door. He enters quickly.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's often trial and error to figure out exactly what info to give an audience. In this case, the shoe was perfect, as it spiked our curiosity.
Blackboard Jungle (1955)(final draft, 8/10/54)
by Richard Brooks
Based on the novel by Evan Hunter
*Early in my journey, I heard "to write, you need to read."
"Yeah, yeah, so what?" I thought, smugly to myself. "I already read a lot."
What I did not realize is:
a) How MUCH I had to read. It took me a few years for me to realize I wasn't reading enough scripts, then several more years to up my intake of a wider range of novels, plays, everything I could get my hands on.
b) My job as a writer depends on reading. From the start, it was obvious to me that I needed to read to educate myself.
However, it took me a long time to understand that a large part of my value as a writer is to have fresh, new IDEAS for the rest of the team. I will only find those ideas by reading.
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