TODAY'S NUGGET: Cutthroat Island (1994) - Effective Onomatopoeia in an Action Sequence ("JING! JING!")

[Quick Summary: A thief is rescued by a female pirate in order to help her locate two other pieces of a treasure map.]

BAD NEWS: I feel that this script starts off strong, with great, promising characters, but then it becomes a bit predictable at the end.

GOOD NEWS: The action sequences surprised me! They're so visceral and alive.  

It was so unusual how the writers captured the sound and motion with onomatopoeia.  I felt like I was with the characters in the middle of the fight.

For example, in the scene below:
- Morgan (female pirate) was insulted by Frenchman Toussant.
- Her suitor, Lord Ainslie, challenged Toussant to a duel.
- Later, Morgan asks Toussant to cancel the duel.  If he does not, she will fight him.
- Toussant won't back down, so Morgan shoots off the tip of his ear.
- Note how the onomatopoeia (JING! JING!) reads and sounds exactly like the clashing, and how it  especially convinces you that you're a participant.

EXT. SEBASTIAN'S ISLAND

...She starts for her horse. Toussant grabs one of the rapiers that's been stuck point first into the sand in front of the Second

TOUSSANT: I say you missed.

Morgan stops, her back to him, and waits.

TOUSSANT (continuing): This duel is not over. 

Resolutely, Morgan turns, walks over and pulls the other rapier out of the sand, slashes it, once, twice, through the air to get a sense of its heft. When she's ready, she takes off her hat and, shaking her hair loose, assumes the "en garde" position in front of Toussant.

MORGAN: We don't have to do this.

TOUSSANT: I can accept nothing less.

JING!..., JING!..., JING!, JING!, JING!, JING! They feel each other out. Toussant is fabulous. But Morgan is his equal. JING!, JING!, JING!...JING!, JING!, JING! SLASH! Woussant winces. Morgan has drawn first blood. JING!, JING!, JING! Toussant attacks. SLASH! Morgan cuts him again. JING!, JING!, JING!, JING! SLASH! SLASH! SLASH! Roussant puts three slices int he front of Morgan's shirt. Blood wells from the cuts under two of them As she moves, we can almost see her breasts. JING!, JING!, JING! Circling around each other, they edge out onto a flat, rocky point.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how the right onomatopoeia gets the reader into the journey faster, which is half battle for a writer.

Cutthroat Island (1994)(dated 4/12/94)
by Robert King and Marc Norman
Story by Michael Frost Beckner & James Gorman and Bruce A. Evans & Raynold Gideon