TODAY'S NUGGET: The Money Train (1995) - Active Decisions is One Way to Carry One's Point Without Forcing It

[Quick Summary: A NYC transit cop tries to steal the express "money train," despite the protestations of his foster brother and fellow transit cop.]

A recent New York Times Book Review gave a high compliment: "a sensitive writer who can carry his point without forcing." 

This could easily be applied to writer David Loughery, whose description of action always delights  me because they're a continual see-saw of suspense.  

One of his secrets is that neither the protagonist or the bad guy has the upper hand for long. Both must make active decisions.

For example, in the scene below:
- The Torch just set John's girlfriend, a fellow cop, on fire.
- John, the protagonist, has to constantly make decisions (A or B?)
- This keeps us constantly off balance and engaged.
- To me, this effectively "carries the point" that John is the underdog (vs. "forcing" with frequent reminders 'but don't worry - John is experienced! John is the cop!')

INT. TUNNEL #2 - DAY

John runs through the darkness, gun ready. He can hear The Torch somewhere up ahead, footsteps echoing back. The tunnel comes to a division, breaking off into two tunnels.  [Which tunnel, John?]

John stops.

Which way did The Torch go? John listens. No footsteps. No noise. John's nostrils flare. He can smell gas. It leads into the left tunnel.  Cautiously, John enters, swallowed up in the darkness.

Then --wham! -- John is struck from behind with a rotting plank in the hands of The Torch. John loses his gun and falls to his knees. The gun skitters into the darkness.  [John makes the right decision, but has another problem and has lost a weapon. What is the next decision?]

With a giggle, The Torch drops the rotted plank and runs to retrieve John's fallen gun, unaware that his hose is leaking a trail of gas behind him. [The Torch, who is not immune from problems either, helps inform John's next decision..]

Stunned, still on his knees, Johns sees the trail of gas droplets and follows it with his eyes to where the The Torch is standing, grinning like a crazy raccoon, pointing John's own gun at him.  [I like this mix of uncertainty and danger. It is a good way to sustain suspense.]

THE TORCH: See what happens when you play with fire?

With his free hand, The Torch reaches inside his coat and pulls out his gasoline bottle, intending to spray it on John. He doesn't notice that John has reached into his own coat pocket and comes out with a book of matches. [The scales tip toward John, for now.]

JOHN: Somebody gets burned. 

John ignites the whole book of matches and throws it on the trail of gas droplets. Foom! A line of flame runs to The Torch and right up his leg, setting him on fire.

Whoosh! The Torch lets out a scream of surprise as his gas-soaked coat blazes up. He squeals and spins around as flames erupt all over him.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Don't allow your characters to have it easy for long.  Don't ever stop creating situations where they have to make active decisions.

The Money Train (1995)(shooting script, 12/30/94 w/revisions)
by David Loughery

TODAY'S NUGGET: In the Mood (1987) - I Was Swept Away By His Chivalrous Goofiness

[Quick Summary: A 14 y.o. goofy romantic makes headlines when he whisks two different women (20s, married) off on grand adventures.]

Who'd fall for the story of a 14 y.o. chivalrous romantic? As it turns out, I did.

Based on a true 1940s story, I was surprised how darned charming I found Sonny. 

How does this character upend expectations? I think it's because:
1) the script specifically says, "he's goofy," and
2) he's so earnest, sweet, not calculated.

He makes this coming-of-age story interesting to watch because of his off-beat, odd point of view, but I don't blame you if you said you'd have to see it to believe it.

So here's a scene that shows there's still romance in the world:
- Judy, 20, is a married neighbor with a new baby.
- She is a lonely housewife and disconnected with her older husband. 
- Sonny has just arrived at 11 for 12pm party at Judy's house.
- Notice that Sonny is a fun-loving, empathetic, colorful character, but is not exactly a Casanova. It is his empathy for Judy that is attractive, but will trip him up.

INT. JUDY'S HOUSE - DAY

,,,JUDY: Sonny?

SONNY: Yes?

JUDY: Do you want to...kiss or something?

Sonny thinks for a second and then looks at his watch.

SONNY: 11:02...Alright.

Their lips meet. It's a long but chaste kiss, just lips pressed moderately against lips; no tongue, no moaning, no groping. After a little while they begin to look like statuary. When they stop, Sonny falls back against the rear of the couch, glassy-eyed and gasping for breath.

JUDY: Oh stop, I'm not that good a kisser.

SONNY (choking): ...swallowed my gum...

She jumps to the rescue by pounding him on his back until he holds up a hand and nods his head in a gesture of "Okay, that's enough." He takes an unobstructed swallow, checks his watch, and dives back in to kissing.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Sonny is memorable simply because his combination of chivalrous and goofy fun has to been seen to be believed. 

In the Mood (also known as "The Woo-Woo Boy") (1987)(2nd draft, 12/20/85)
by Phil Alden Robinson
Based on the true story of Ellsworth "Sonny" Wisecarver

TODAY'S NUGGET: Star Trek The Motion Picture (1979) - What Happens When Your Transporter Fails?

[Quick Summary: When a destructive alien entity approaches Earth, Admiral James T. Kirk resumes control of the Enterprise to intercept it.] 

Q: What do you think about the "dilution of Star Trek since Gene Roddenberry"?
A: I'd heard about it, but it occurred to me that I'd never actually read any of his actual writing.  Hence,

Q: What is science fiction anyway?
A: It is defined as:

(n.) fiction dealing principally with the impact of actual or imagined science on society or individuals or having a scientific factor as an essential orienting component.

Q: What did you think about this script?
A:  It may not be the strongest story in the canon, but I really appreciated how Roddenberry DOES try to grapple with the effect of SCIENCE.  

Q: How is it different than more modern sci-fi film/tv shows?
A: I feel more recent approaches are lazier and less exploratory because they put metaphor and allegory above the hard work of grappling with the effect of science.

For example, in the scene below:
- This scene is about equipment malfunction and sabotage.
- Decker and Scott just discovered a sensor that was deliberately inactivated.
- Kirk has just relieved Decker of his captain's duties.
- It is also about the consequences when science fails us. How do we cope when we rely heavily on equipment?
- As an action scene, it is very brisk, in large part because the motive (rescue) and stakes (crew members) are clear.

INT. ENGINEERING SECTION

...Decker EXITS. Kirk waits, collecting his composure as he watches him go. Then Kirk turns to glare at Scott. Interrupted by a flare as something shorts out at the mechanism where Scott and Decker had been working. Technician (Cleary) reacts, hits an intercom button fast:

TECHNICIAN (CLEARY): Transporter room, come in! Urgent! (to Scott) Redline on the transporters, Mister Scott!

Scott whirls to a console fast, speaks urgently!

SCOTT: Transporter room, do not engage! Do not...

TECHNICIAN (CLEARY) (reacting to a reading; interruption): Too late; they're beaming now!

 Kirk is exiting on a run, followed by Scott.

INT. TRANSPORTER ROOM - INCLUDING TRANSPORTER CHAMBER

An unusually defective-looking TRANSPORTER EFFECT in progress, alternately flashing and glowing -- even the Transporter SOUND seems wrong, as if struggling to overcome some problem. At the console, CHIEF RAND and ASSISTANT are reacting in surprised, near-horror as they attempt vainly to save the situation.

RAND (into intercom): Starfleet, override us! OVERRIDE...! Yank them back!

Suddenly, from Rand's console, a VIOLENT GLARE -- a PROTESTING SOUND from the circuitry. And on the console a red-warning light now begins flashing.

STARFLEET VOICE: Unable to retrieve their pattern, Enterprise...!

KIRK (into intercom):                               SCOTT:
Starfleet, boost your matter               We're losing the pattern...!
gain: we need more signal!                Oh, no! They're forming!

CLOSER ON THE TRANSPORTER CHAMBER

with the human forms FLUTTERING INTO FULLER AND FULLER MATERIALIZATION, FRIGHTENINGLY, HORRIBLY MISSHAPEN. We RECOGNIZE one form as the Vulcan, Sonak -- the other a human WOMAN. They MATERIALIZE; we HEAR A MOAN form from the Vulcan - -- the Woman's SCREAM OF PAIN. Then, all at once, the half-materialized bodies are gone; the transporter chamber is empty.

KIRK: Oh, my God...!

KIRK, SCOTT AND RAND

gazing, horrified, at the empty chamber.

KIRK (into intercom): Starfleet, do you have them?

A moment of utter, vacant silence -- and Kirk and Scott look at each other again, their pained faces presaging the answer they already know:

STARFLEET VOICE (shaken): Enterprise...what we got back didn't live long. Fortunately.

Another moment of stunned silence, and then Kirk hits the transmission button -- fighting to control his voice as:

KIRK: Starfleet...Kirk. Please express my condolences to their families. Commander Sonak's can be reached through the Vulcan Embassy (sees Rand's stricken expression) There was nothing you could have done, Rand. It wasn't your fault.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't lose that edge that grappling with the effects of science brings to sci-fi.  It's one of the things that makes it so universal.

Star Trek The Motion Picture (1979)(7/19/78 shooting script)
by Gene Roddenberry & Harold Livingston
Story by Alan Dean Foster and Gene Roddenberry

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Grass Harp (1995) - Avoiding The Trite & Cliche in Sisterly Forgiveness

[Quick Summary: Orphaned Collin has a grand adventure living in a tree house with his ephemeral Aunt Dolly, after a serious argument with rich Aunt Verena.]

This is the last film of writer Stirling Siliphant, who had a long string of film and tv credits, including In the Heat of the Night and The Poseidon Adventure.  

I sensed his practiced hand particularly in the characters. I really appreciated they are full fleshed out and distinct. No one acts or speaks the same. 

ex. Aunt Verena doesn't trust easily and relies on facts and cash to relate to people. Aunt Dolly is the opposite: open, fun, and trusting.

So when Verena wants to mass produce Dolly's medicinal recipe, it's the last straw. I believed Dolly would take her maid and nephew to live in a tree house.

I thought the reconciliation scene below was particularly fine because it's so emotionally true.

NOTE:
- Judge Charlie proposed to Dolly during their adventures.
- My heart bled for Charlie, who probably didn't understand sisterly bond, but accepted it.
- I think it avoids the trite and cliche because it does not duck hard truths. Verena would have never admitted these things at the beginning (aging, loneliness, etc.)

EXT. PORCH -- NIGHT

Rain floods down. Dolly shivers under the eaves. Verena approaches behind her. The judge watches from the threshold.

...VERENA (beat): I walk through the house, nothing is mine. Your pink room, your kitchen, the house is yours - and Catherine's too, I think. Only don't leave me. Let me live with you. I'm feeling old. I want my sister.

Her voice cracks. Dolly stretches out a tentative hand.

DOLLY: Forgive me, Charlie. I want my sister, too.

The judge cannot reach her: not with his arms, not with his heart. [This line really moved me. It captures the longing, disappointment, and reality.] Verena's claim is too final. The sisters embrace in reconciliation. Dolly strokes Verena's hair. The judge looks on sadly, silently from the doorway. The storm rages on....

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene made me feel the longing and loss that I'd rather not feel, yet I felt good because it's an "I see you" moment.

Also, I liked there was no "message," no false importance to the moment.  

The Grass Harp (1995)(9/6/94, revised)
by Stirling Silliphant and Kirk Ellis
Based on the novel by Truman Capote