TODAY'S NUGGET: The Cotton Club (1984) - Breaking Through Writer's Block with 4-5 Word Summaries

[Quick Summary: Several stories of a coronet player getting mixed with mobster, racial tensions, in the Roaring Twenties and early Depression.]

There were three things I really liked in this script:

1) THIS LINE OF DIALOGUE:  

DUTCH: ...You make a livin' with that horn?

DIXIE: I'm eatin' but I'm not getting fat.

2) THE FACT THAT THIS SCRIPT JUMPS AROUND A LOT BUT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE IT. Critic Roger Ebert explains what is in the mix:

Coppola has a way, in this film, of telling all the different stories without giving us the impression he's jumping around a lot. Maybe the music helps. It gives the movie a continuity and an underlying rhythm that makes all of the characters' lives into steps in a sad ballet. We like some of the characters, but we don't have much respect for them, and the movie doesn't bother with clear distinctions between good and evil. "The Cotton Club" is a somewhat cynical movie about a very cynical time, and along with the music and the romance there is racism, cruelty, betrayal, and stunning violence. Romance with a cutting edge.

3) MOST SLUG LINES INCLUDED 4-5 WORD SUMMARY OF "WHAT IS THIS SCENE ABOUT?" It's not a gimmick; it broke through my writer's block.

I was stuck recently and tried this trick to summarize the scene before I wrote it.  Behold!  It cut down on distractions and focused me immediately.

I will note that it was seeing all the various examples that helped.  So I encourage you to read it and page through it for inspiration when you're stuck.

Here are five examples (they're underlined as presented in the script):
- EXT. DWYER APARTMENT - DAY: VINCE SAYS HE'S MARRIED
- EXT. COTTON CLUB - DAY: EXIT AUDITION/SEE LILA ROSE
- INT. HOOFER'S CLUB - DAY: SUGAR REMINDS SANDMAN HE'S LATE
- INT. UBANGI CLUB - NIGHT: BAD JAM SESSION
- INT. DWYER APARTMENT - NIGHT: TEA & TOAST WITH PSYCHOPATH

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've been returning to this script again and again, just to look at the 4-5 word summaries for different ways to tackle scenes.

The Cotton Club (1984)(8/22/83 shooting script)
by William Kennedy and Francis Ford Coppol/a

TODAY'S NUGGET: Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948) - Two Keys in Delivering Setup-Payoffs in a Screwball Comedy

[Quick Summary: Jim and Muriel buy their dream house in the country, but it's more than they can handle.]

Q: What is one of the joys of screwball comedies?
A: Anticipating and wondering what is the character going to do next (?!).

Q: So what is a screwball writer's greatest fear?
A: That these hijinks will drag on the page.

Q: So how does the writer keep the script fun and lively to read?
A: I think it's balancing the delivery of the setup-payoffs.   

Scene A thwarts the audience's expectations with mini setups-payoffs.  However, it doesn't completely deliver a final payoff that would extinguish the momentum. 

The writer has to pace the setup-payoffs in Scene B, C, D, etc. to keep it rising. 

For example, in today's scene below:
- Note that this isn't a particularly new story, but it is about how the tale is TOLD.
- The setup is easy to read and predictable: Jim starts to rub steam off the mirror, which is something we've all experienced.
- The scene payoff is quick as things start to pile up and it gets ridiculous: his lather needs refreshing, more steam, Muriel contorts herself in the small space. 
- Also note the pacing of these small scene payoffs are like snacks.  They satisfy temporarily, but don't deliver the whole meal yet. 
- However, they're fun enough to continue to build curiosity (momentum) until it answers the overall question at the final payoff (is moving a good idea?)
- This film stars Cary Grant and Myrna Loy.

INT. THE BATHROOM

...Jim - He stands in front of the washstand lathering his face. Over scene we hear Muriel's voice from the shower. She is singing a lusty chorus of "Home on the Range." Jim picks up his razor and turns to the mirror. He reacts with annoyance, as he discovers it is covered with steam. With weary resignation he takes a towel and starts to rub off the mirror. As he clears one section another clouds up. By the time he gets it all reasonably clear he finds that his lather needs freshening. He grimly re-lathers his face only to find that the mirror is again clouded up. As he turns with exasperation toward the shower we see Muriel turn off the water, reach for a towel, start to dry herself. The mirror cleared off, Jim re-lathers, starts to shave. During this, Muriel, having dried herself and donned her robe, comes into scene. 

MURIEL (reaching for toothbrush): Excuse...

She takes her toothbrush and then opens the cabinet to get the paste. Jim, automatically following the mirror, has to squeeze around in a desperately contorted position as he continues shaving.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really enjoy the thwarting of my expectations.  Also, half the fun is watching the setup-payoffs build and build until they explode.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1948)(undated)
by Melvin Frank and Norman Panama
Based on a novel by Eric Hodgins

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Jewel of the Nile (1985) - Perfectly Timed Dialogue and Action (Stakes, Hope-Fear in Romance)

[Quick Summary: A sequel to Romancing the Stone. After an ambitious African politician kidnaps writer Joan Wilder to write his life's story, the selfish Jack Coulter races to her rescue.] 

I agreed with critic Roger Ebert that this story was good, but it lacked romance:

But the original contract specified a sequel, and it’s to everybody’s credit that “The Jewel of the Nile” is an ambitious and elaborate attempt to repeat the success of the first movie; it’s not just a ripoff. Even so, it lacks some of the pleasures of “Romancing,” especially the development of the romance between Douglas and Turner.

He went on to praise the mechanism of his favorite scene in a rat pit*  

I couldn't find that scene in this draft, but found a similar one in which the emotional and physical beats fall like clockwork (below):
- Joan, Jack, and the Jewel have arrived at a village.
- The Chief will let them pass if they pay the $1M toll.
- Pay attention to the rhythm of the scene.
- Notice the hope-fear-hope-fear pattern winds up the tension.

EXT. NUBIAN VILLAGE

...The CHIEF talks aside with the Jewel.

JEWEL: You don't have to pay it. ... Instead he will take Joan for one hour. [Fear. Emotional stakes are high here.]

Jack stops dancing. Looks at Joan.

JOAN: He's kidding. [Hope. She tries to dispel the fear.]

JEWEL: Just one hour. [Fear.]

JACK (teasing): Well Joan, now you can do something serious. Something that really matters. (to the Chief) Go ahead. 

The NUBIANS laugh as Jack offers the CHIEF Joan's hand. All one big joke. Until the CHIEF starts pulling her into his hut.

JACK: OK...fun's fun...hey, that's it. [Fear.]

Now Jack grabs the CHIEF. Wrong move. He's immediately seized by six young toughs. Joan becomes scared. The Chief talks roughly.

JEWEL (translating): He wants to know if you are married? [Emotional stakes.]

JOAN: No.

JEWEL (translating): Any babies? [Higher emotional stakes.]

JACK: No. ...look, what's the difference?

The CHIEF now pushes Jack in the chest. [Physical move that raises stakes.]

JEWEL: Then decide. Either he takes Joan for an hour...

JACK: Or...?

JEWEL: You will lose your leg.  [Fear.]

A terribly OBESE NUBIAN steps forward with a broad AXE on a long handle. The other young toughs stretch out one of Jack's legs. Tension is unbearable. They realize the CHIEF is serious.

JOAN: Jack...I ...I have to. [Rising emotional stakes.]

JACK (straining against their holds): NO!! I forbid you.

JOAN: You can't.

JACK (screams for all he's worth):  NOOOO!!! [Highest tension, stakes.]

The CHIEF looks at Joan.  A wave of his hand and the OBESE NUBIAN raises his axe. Joan turns to the CHIEF. Touches her chest.

JOAN: Yes. Now. 

JACK (half-crazed) Cut the leg. (at the Chief) DAMN IT! CUT OFF MY GODDAMNED LEG!! [FEAR! PEAK OF FEAR!]

JEWEL: That is your decisions?

JACK (really scared): Yes...

JOAN: Jack...

ON THE AXE

High in the air. A beat, then down it comes. BAM! Into the dirt next to Jack. A great CHEER goes up among the Nubians. They start to dance in simple, sweet ecstacy.

JACK - BEING BEAR-HUGGED BY THE CHIEF

ready to faint, looks to Joan, then to the Jewel.

JEWEL (translating): We are free to go no.   ... The Nubians are hopeless romantics. Some tribes enjoy tests of strength. ...They like to test love. [Funny release of tension.]

JACK AND JOAN 

are hoisted on shoulders and carried around the village.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to escalating stakes is the pendulum of emotions swinging from hope to fear.  Don't be afraid to swing widely.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)(1st draft)
by Mark Rosenthal & Lawrence Konner

* Ebert wrote: 

...My favorite moment between them comes as they hang by their hands over a rat pit, while acid gnaws away at the ropes that suspend them above certain doom. Sure, this scene owes something to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” But what’s new about it this time is the dialogue – the way they break down and confess that they love each other, and make marriage plans as death inexorably approaches. And then, when DeVito appears and might possibly save them, there is some business with a ladder that is followed by dialogue so perfectly timed that I laughed not so much in amusement as in delight at how well the mechanisms of the scene fell together. (my underline)