TODAY'S NUGGET: The Pink Pather Strikes Again (1976) - Three Examples of How Inspector Clouseau Slapstick Works

[Quick Summary: After former Inspector Dreyfus leaves an insane asylum, he sends assassins after Inspector Clouseau.]

Blake Edwards wrote and directed the original Inspector Clouseau/Pink Panther films.*  Today's script is #4 of his 8 films.**

These scripts are a joy to read because:
a) the joke is always on Clouseau, who is clueless;
b) the slapstick is constantly moving him out of the fire into the frying pan;
c) the slapstick is inventive.

Here are three examples:

EXAMPLE 1: ROMANTIC JOKE ON CLOUSEAU - A Beautiful Mysterious Woman thinks she's slept with Clouseau, when it was actually another spy, James. 

INT. MUNICH HOTEL FIFTH FLOOR HALLWAY - NIGHT

The elevator doors open and Clouseau exits, walks to his door, is about to put the key in the lock when he realizes that the Clerk has given him the bedroom key. He walks back, unlocks the bedroom door and enters as James [the English spy] exits from the sitting room.  

INT. CLOUSEAU'S SUITE - BEDROOM - NIGHT

Dark. The lights in the sitting room have been turned off. Clouseau makes his way to the light switch. CLICK. No lights in here. He makes his way into the sitting room, bumps into a table. We HEAR the Beautiful Mysterious Woman SIGH. Clouseau turns the lights on in the sitting room.The Beautiful Mysterious Woman awakens, gets up and goes into the bathroom. Clouseau comes back into the bedroom, gets undressed and puts on his pyjamas, goes back into the sitting room. The Beautiful Mysterious Woman comes out of the bathroom and climbs back into bed. Clouseau turns off the sitting room light, bumps into the table again and returns to the bedroom. He climbs in bed. A long silence, then Clouseau lets out a yell, leaps from the bed and runs into the sitting room, hits the table, turns on the lights and carefully makes his way back to the bedroom where he freezes at the sigh t of the Beautiful Mysterious Woman in his bed. 

B.M.W. (smiling wickedly): Forgive me, darling. I just washed my hands and they must have been freezing. 

CLOUSEAU: Yes. Freezing. Hands.

It dawns on him that he must be in the wrong apartment. He hurries across the room, opens the door, checks the room number, and returns, checks his key. 

EXAMPLE 2: "OUT OF THE PAN, INTO THE FIRE" SCHTICK - One mistake leads to another.

INT. MUNICH HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

A CLEANING MAN. vacuuming. A SERVICE REPAIR MAN standing on a stepladder, putting new light bulbs into the huge crystal chandelier. Clouseau trips on the vacuum cleaner cord, stumbles into the ladder, knocking it out from under the Service Repair Man who grabs the chandelier. While the Service Repair Man swings from the chandelier and the Cleaning Man unplugs the broken vacuum that is spewing a geyser of dirt, some of the hotel staff rush to give aid, take the ladder form Clouseau who then continues his way to the desk as if nothing has happened.  

EXAMPLE 3: INVENTIVE "TOILET" HUMOR 

INT. PUBLIC TOILET - NIGHT

Clouseau enters, waits. The Mexican Assassin enters. A man exits a stall and Clouseau goes in as the East German enters. A man exits a stall on the other side of Clouseau and the East German takes it. We are WATCHING three pairs of legs. Clouseau's shoe lace is untied. He bends to tie it. The TWO "WHUMPS" SOUND almost like one. The life goes out of the two pairs of legs on either side of Clouseau. The Assassin's silenced gun clatters to the tile floor. Clouseau stands, FLUSHES TOILET and emerges, exits short.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really am impressed by the inventive ways the writers get Clouseau out of worse and worse situations.  It's like kids playing on the page.

The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)(11/19/75 revised)
by Frank Waldman and Blake Edwards

*FYI: The first Inspector Clouseau film featured a diamond called the "Pink Panther." It was so popular that subsequent Inspector Clouseau films were dubbed "Pink Panther" films even though they didn't feature the diamond again.

**I imagine Edwards was not super-thrilled that studios wanted many sequels.  

However, I also imagine the studios were eager to get Edwards back because:
1) the public was still interested in Clouseau even a decade later; and 
2) two Clouseau projects without Edwards weren't as well received.

Here's the list of Pink Panther/Blake Edwards films.  I included the two non-Edwards projects in bold, just for reference: 

- The Pink Panther (1963) - David Niven
- A Shot in the Dark (1964) - Peter Sellers
- Inspector Clouseau (1968) - Alan Arkin
- "The Pink Panther" animated tv series (1969) 
- The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) - Peter Sellers
- The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976) - Peter Sellers
- Revenge of the Pink Panther (1978)  - Peter Sellers
- Trail of the Pink Panther (1982) - Peter Sellers
- Curse of the Pink Panther (1983) - Peter Sellers
- Son of the Pink Panther (1993) - Roberto Benigni

TODAY'S NUGGET: Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) - Visceral Reactions That Lend Action Packed Energy on the Page

[Quick Summary: When a married schoolteacher with amnesia appears on tv, she is outed as a counter-assassin and becomes a target of former colleagues.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1)  FEMALE ACTION STAR & THE BOX OFFICE. To me, it's important to understand the box office, so as to be aware of what audiences are paying to see. 

Today's script about a "girl-with-the-gun" struggled at the 1996 box office.  Interestingly, not much has changed, even as of this weekend.*  

2) ENERGY ON THE PAGE. I do admire Shane Black trying a female led action film at the height of his popularity.

He has a knack for conveying energy on the page, which is often difficult to do.  

Here, I like how the protagonist experiences visceral reactions that motivates her into frenzied action. 

For example, in the scene below: 
- The protagonist has lost her memory and is calling herself Samantha, though her real name is Charly.
- She is stretched out on a water wheel that's fed by cold river water.
- The bad guys are torturing her to see if she's really an amnesiac.
- I like that the energy comes from the character's emotions.
- One source is from confusion.  Samantha does not know her violent past. 
- Another source is from anger, from being wronged.  She has no idea why she's being tortured and this type of survival vengeance is particularly vicious and unstable. 

INT. BASEMENT OF OLD MILL - THE PRESENT

... UNDER THE WATER - HELL - SAME

Here we are again, in the world of silence and blinding PAIN. Despair and madness but now there's something else -- Now there's RAGE.  [The primary motivators are confusion, anger.]

It takes losing most of the FLESH from her right wrist... But she frees the hand. WRENCHES it loose. The water turns soupy red around it. GROPES, blindly. Fingers NUMB, so fucking cold -- Breath, running out. No air. NO TIME. [Her physical struggles to free herself are like her mental struggles to make sense of this weird situation.]

She darts her right hand forward. Toward the obscenely bobbing CORPSE of Nathan. Does something grotesque, jams her hand DOWN THE CORPSE'S PANTS -- [I like that she's a thinking protagonist & remembers what Nathan had said earlier.]

Hideaway gun, it's right where he said, right beside Mr. Wally. PSP-25 Semi-auto, steel jackets. She waits. Rage inside her. Death in her hands.

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE SURFACE

The wheel CREAKS. Groans. The terrorist in the western boots watches her emerge, face first -- She comes up firing. [This is a great image, but also metaphorical.]

The first slug takes him in the knee. Blows it to scraps. He collapses, howling. She shifts aim. THE RED BUTTON. No hesitation. BLAM-! Hits it DEAD ON. Stops the wheel. Incredible.

Doesn't blink. Unties her captive hand. BLOWS TO SPLINTERS the wood surrounding her feet. Leaps to solid ground as 

ANOTHER ANGLE

Daedalus looks up from his prone position. In agony. A vision from Hell approaches: A fiendish blue-skinned woman in a sodden nightgown. Blood leaking from one wrist. She has rise, REBORN, from the icy waters.

DAEDALUS: Samantha... Please..!

CHARLY: Who's Samantha? [She's still angry, but also learning more about herself.]

She shoots him in the other knee. He HOWLS. Gun, empty. She tosses it aside. In a nearby crate: ASSAULT RIFLES. Snatches up a Kalashnikov and clip. Kneels and says:

CHARLY: You see it in the movies, badguy says, "Talk to me and I'll let you live." We're gonna run a variation, it goes like this: Take to me..? I'll let you die. 

She fires again. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked that the emotions led the action, and that they aren't put on hold during a fight. It's messy both physically and mentally as her memories surface.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)(2/24/95 revised draft)
by Shane Black

* This weekend, another female led action film was released,  From the World of John Wick: Ballerina (2025).

As of yesterday, Deadline stated that the film made $25M, on a reported budget of $90M, and went on to speculate the reasons why:

"There's also the sense that many have already seen these girl-with-the-gun movies before, and there are plenty of copycats on streaming (i.e. Charlize Theron's The Old Guard, Gal Gadot's Heart of Stone, Jennifer Lopez's The Mother) - so why rush out? But this one is through the lense of John Wick, and ya know, stunts! But you can't just swap out our favorite puppy-loving, gun-toting surfer dude for a female lead, and that's potentially why more of the Wick-faithful aren't going."

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Last Boy Scout (1991) - Varying the Amounts of Suspense + Surprise in Escalating Stakes

[Quick Summary: After a hooker dies in front of her boyfriend and the p.i. she hired for protection, the two men uncover a political conspiracy while finding her killer.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1)  MISOGYNISTIC? Critics have called this film misogynistic (example here). On the page, I didn't particularly think so, but I can see how the overall film could be. 

2)  ESCALATING STAKES.  Writer Shane Black is well known for his action scripts.  One of the keys is that the stakes escalate in unpredictable ways. 

Also, the combination of suspense (ex. we know the dynamite is going to explode) and surprise (ex. explosion has unexpected consequences) isn't formulaic.  

For example, in the scene below: 
- Hallenbeck is the p.i.  Jimmy is the victim's boyfriend. 
- They found dynamite on the victim's car. 
- Hallenbeck takes the dynamite as evidence and moves it to his trunk. 
- Suddenly, two thugs hold them up their car keys.
- Notice that the mixture of suspense and surprise seems to build organically, which adds to the thrill. 
- Note: Though the slugline only says "interior", the action soon spills into the exterior parking lot.

INT.  HALLENBECK'S PLYMOUTH - NIGHT

...Hallenbeck smiles. Calmly turns and throws the keys as far as he can. They land off in the woods.

HALLENBECK: Oops. Don't know my own strength.

TALL MAN: You dumb bastard, you're going to pay for that. Jake, open the trunk.

Jake steps forward, raises the Beretta to shoot open the lock. Hallenbeck tenses, waiting. Looks to a sloping hillside off to his left. Jake FIRES at the lock. The BULLET BLOWS THROUGH the TRUNK -- and HITS three live sticks of DYNAMITE.  [I like that the action here is not telegraphed early.  Jake raises his gun, but he might change his mind --> Hallenbeck reacts, waits --> Jake fires --> bullet hits --> dynamite.]

Joe is already throwing himself and Jimmy down the hillside as the night lights up like a sunburst. The trunk lid is blown fifty feet in the air.

Glass sprays in every direction... Jimmy and Joe careen down the hillside like rag puppets. Lurch to a stop at the bottom. Bruised. Bloody. [We expect the scene to end here, maybe with a quip.]

Side by side, sucking wind -- until a noise intrudes, the sound of CRUMPLING METAL... getting LOUDER. They look up -- and there's the flaming car tumbling end over end down the hill, toward them. [Instead, there is an unexpected surprise of a falling car. It's like "out of the pan, into the fire."]

JIMMY: Son of a bitch!

They dive aside just in time as the car plows past them and slams to a stop against a tree. Burns. Jimmy looks at Joe. Joe looks at Jimmy. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the combination of 3/4 suspense and 1/4 surprise because: 
a) it's purely about escalating stakes, and 
b) the emotion feels genuine, uncalculated, and not following a set formula.

The Last Boy Scout (1991)(2/25/91 with additional revisions)
by Shane Black
Story by Shane Black and Greg Hicks