[Quick Summary: A dedicated son seeks high and low to fulfill his dying mother's wish to meet Greta Garbo.]
This is a comedy.
...which ISN'T an exciting fact, except this IS a Sidney Lumet directed comedy.
...which IS exciting because Lumet did not direct many comedies at all. (In fact, he's states that he's not very good at comedy.*)
OK, so the execution of the script may not have hit it out of the park.
But is the script good??! Why did it attract Lumet, Anne Bancroft, and Ron Silver?
The script is a tremendous work of comedy.
I wonder how many hours it took to hone, and hone, and hone so the comedy became this sharp.
I particularly liked how the script portrays the mother Estelle through non sequiturs.
Estelle is eccentric and maddening, but sane.
I liked that she would choose a non sequitur and run it all the way to its furthest conclusion.
These "logical" non sequiturs fit this character well. They are broad, but not wacky. They rail against injustice, and champion the underdog.
ex. "ANOTHER ANGLE - AS A WAITRESS
comes over.
WAITRESS: Hello.
ESTELLE: I'll have the chicken salad plate.
The waitress writes it down.
GILBERT: Just coffee.
ESTELLE (to waitress): You don't reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. That's very nice.
FAVOR WAITRESS
She hasn't the slightest idea what Estelle is talking about. Estelle sees her consternation and explains, pointing to the bottom of the menu.
ESTELLE: In the south, restaurants used to print, 'We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone' on the bottom of menus ---
ANGLE - GILBERT
Convulsing in his chair with embarrassment:
GILBERT: Mother, for Godssake!
FAVOR ESTELLE
She ignores him.
ESTELLE: They did this to keep black customers out. They would lie and say it was to keep out drunks, but everyone knew differently. You still see it on menus today. It's nice to see it's not on yours.
WAITRESS (after speechless beat): Anything else?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When Estelle goes off on a rant/non sequitur, it seems random but it is not.
She has a purpose in mind.
From a writing standpoint, it's a great way to sneak in the character's point of view on topics, while still delivering laughs.
Garbo Talks (1984)(undated)
by Larry Grusin
*I have not seen the film, but this fact could very well be true, if Roger Ebert's one star review is to be believed.
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
Monday, July 18, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Greystoke (1984) - When You're Ahead of Your Time
[Quick Summary: A human baby is adopted and raised by African apes.]
I do not normally read early rough drafts.
However, this one stirred my curiosity.
First, this draft is solely written by Towne.
Second, he must not have liked the rewritten version, as he used a pseudonym in the credits.
After reading Towne's undiluted vision, I can see why he and the producers probably didn't see eye to eye. It is an inventive script, but years ahead of its time:
- This is a story about Tarzan mastering the raw, primal jungle elements, which I liked. (More commercial fare would probably focus on Tarzan and Jane, or how Tarzan adjusted to society.)
- It's nearly a silent film, i.e., apes don't talk. (I liked this, but others might prefer more dialogue.)
- Energetic action chases in the trees, killing a bushpig, etc. well suited for using CGI...except this script was written in 1977 when CGI wasn't possible.
ex. "SILVER BEARD
who has grown more frenzied, charges from behind her and actually grabs at her baby, tearing it out of her arms, shaking the screeching little ape at the stormy sky as he plunges toward the trees.
KALA
is horrified. She lets out a frenzied scream herself and chases after Silver Beard.
BY THE TREES
she catches up to him, bites him on the neck and nimbly plucks her baby out of Silver Beard's grasp.
SILVER BEARD
is astonished at being challenged. His shock turns to rage. With a roaring scream, he takes off after Kala.
KALA WITH HER BABY
clinging onto her back leaps into the trees in an effort to elude Silver Beard."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Let your imagination really soar, even if the current technology isn't ready yet.
This script could easily be bought today, though it is 39 yrs. old. Its emotions are still THAT engaging.
Greystoke (1984)(draft dated 8/4/77)
by Robert Towne
Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs
I do not normally read early rough drafts.
However, this one stirred my curiosity.
First, this draft is solely written by Towne.
Second, he must not have liked the rewritten version, as he used a pseudonym in the credits.
After reading Towne's undiluted vision, I can see why he and the producers probably didn't see eye to eye. It is an inventive script, but years ahead of its time:
- This is a story about Tarzan mastering the raw, primal jungle elements, which I liked. (More commercial fare would probably focus on Tarzan and Jane, or how Tarzan adjusted to society.)
- It's nearly a silent film, i.e., apes don't talk. (I liked this, but others might prefer more dialogue.)
- Energetic action chases in the trees, killing a bushpig, etc. well suited for using CGI...except this script was written in 1977 when CGI wasn't possible.
ex. "SILVER BEARD
who has grown more frenzied, charges from behind her and actually grabs at her baby, tearing it out of her arms, shaking the screeching little ape at the stormy sky as he plunges toward the trees.
KALA
is horrified. She lets out a frenzied scream herself and chases after Silver Beard.
BY THE TREES
she catches up to him, bites him on the neck and nimbly plucks her baby out of Silver Beard's grasp.
SILVER BEARD
is astonished at being challenged. His shock turns to rage. With a roaring scream, he takes off after Kala.
KALA WITH HER BABY
clinging onto her back leaps into the trees in an effort to elude Silver Beard."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Let your imagination really soar, even if the current technology isn't ready yet.
This script could easily be bought today, though it is 39 yrs. old. Its emotions are still THAT engaging.
Greystoke (1984)(draft dated 8/4/77)
by Robert Towne
Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Monday, July 11, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Yakuza (1974) - How to Tell a Story: Drama, Transitions
[Quick Summary: An American goes to Japan to rescue a friend's daughter who has been kidnapped by the criminal yakuza.]
Would I have green lit The Yakuza in 1974 (Sydney Pollack, Robert Mitchum)? YES.
Would I green light The Yakuza today? YES.
So what sets Robert Towne scripts apart? Quite simply, he knows how to tell a story.
"Tell a story?!" you scoff, "How hard is that?!" Beat. "So how does he tell a story?"
The short answer: I don't know.
The long answer: I still don't know, but I see a few helpful clues in his scripts.
First, he understands drama.*
Second, he understands transitions. This is not simply getting in and out of a scene.
It is getting in, getting out, emphasizing important points, moving the story forward, all without shouting, "LOOK AT ME!"
In the scene below, watch how the writer:
- moves the story from the sedan to the gravesite
- shows that this is an honorable woman
- emphasizes that this is an important woman, without saying, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT, HONORABLE WOMAN, AND SHE IS IMPORTANT TO KILMER
- moves us from the gravesite to Kilmer's office
ex. "EXT. TOKYO - PANNING SHOT - BLACK NISSAN SEDAN
driven by a chauffeur. Tono sits stiffly in back. CAMERA FOLLOWS as it drives past an old cemetery. HOLD on the cemetery and PUSH IN to the figure of a lone woman dressed in kimono standing front of a grave.
ANOTHER ANGLE
MOVING PAST ancient shinto grave stones. Lantern shaped and rust colored in the grey light. MOVE INTO TIGHT SHOT of the woman who kneels in front of the grave. The CAMERA STUDIES her beautiful face MOVING IN EVEN TIGHTER until her eyes, nose and mouth FILL THE FRAME, and the IMAGE BECOMES:
INT. KILMER'S OFFICE - EXTREME CLOSE ANGLE - SILVER FRAMED PHOTO
of the woman (twenty years younger). It sits on a cluttered desk. There is the SOUND of a ticker tape over, and then a voice on an intercom:
VOICE (OVER): It's twelve thirty, Mr. Kilmer."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Know your job: Study drama MORE. Study transitions MORE.
The Yakuza (1974)(dated 12/18/73)
Draft by Robert Towne
Story by Leonard Schrader
* Frankly, there's no shortcut except to read the classics, read everything, read, read, read (see John Logan's advice to read classics for language in his BAFTA lecture here).
Would I have green lit The Yakuza in 1974 (Sydney Pollack, Robert Mitchum)? YES.
Would I green light The Yakuza today? YES.
So what sets Robert Towne scripts apart? Quite simply, he knows how to tell a story.
"Tell a story?!" you scoff, "How hard is that?!" Beat. "So how does he tell a story?"
The short answer: I don't know.
The long answer: I still don't know, but I see a few helpful clues in his scripts.
First, he understands drama.*
Second, he understands transitions. This is not simply getting in and out of a scene.
It is getting in, getting out, emphasizing important points, moving the story forward, all without shouting, "LOOK AT ME!"
In the scene below, watch how the writer:
- moves the story from the sedan to the gravesite
- shows that this is an honorable woman
- emphasizes that this is an important woman, without saying, THIS IS AN IMPORTANT, HONORABLE WOMAN, AND SHE IS IMPORTANT TO KILMER
- moves us from the gravesite to Kilmer's office
ex. "EXT. TOKYO - PANNING SHOT - BLACK NISSAN SEDAN
driven by a chauffeur. Tono sits stiffly in back. CAMERA FOLLOWS as it drives past an old cemetery. HOLD on the cemetery and PUSH IN to the figure of a lone woman dressed in kimono standing front of a grave.
ANOTHER ANGLE
MOVING PAST ancient shinto grave stones. Lantern shaped and rust colored in the grey light. MOVE INTO TIGHT SHOT of the woman who kneels in front of the grave. The CAMERA STUDIES her beautiful face MOVING IN EVEN TIGHTER until her eyes, nose and mouth FILL THE FRAME, and the IMAGE BECOMES:
INT. KILMER'S OFFICE - EXTREME CLOSE ANGLE - SILVER FRAMED PHOTO
of the woman (twenty years younger). It sits on a cluttered desk. There is the SOUND of a ticker tape over, and then a voice on an intercom:
VOICE (OVER): It's twelve thirty, Mr. Kilmer."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Know your job: Study drama MORE. Study transitions MORE.
The Yakuza (1974)(dated 12/18/73)
Draft by Robert Towne
Story by Leonard Schrader
* Frankly, there's no shortcut except to read the classics, read everything, read, read, read (see John Logan's advice to read classics for language in his BAFTA lecture here).
Monday, July 4, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Two Jakes (1990) - Two Drafts; Opening Sequence
[Quick Summary: Older and wiser, Jake Gittes is embroiled in a confusing case of cuckolded husband, cheating wife, and the dead man's widow.]
Scripts change from concept to production. A LOT.
This is why I generally avoid previous drafts...
...except this week, I read two drafts of Robert Towne's The Two Jakes.
I WANTED to see how Towne made changes to his scripts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SIDENOTE TO THE READER:
Yes, yes, yes, Towne's scripts are not always pretty on the page.
They tend to be long (140-180 pgs.), convoluted, and full of paragraphs everywhere.
But in an era of copycats, his scripts stand out: an original voice, a grasp on what's missing in today's films, i.e., drama (see essay), and something interesting to say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOOD NEWS: These two drafts (1984, 1985) did not disappoint: a good script, with good bones, complicated characters, everyone is guilty.
BAD NEWS: I was disappointed by how little changed (or needed to be changed) from the 1984 draft to 1985 draft. Towne seems to have had a solid base from the start. (Sigh.)
I do not know how close these are to the final version, but I leave you to ponder the wonder of the opening shot.
ex. "INT. JAKE GITTES' OFFICE (DAY) - A WIRE RECORDER AND A PAIR OF WING-TIPPED SHOES ON GITTES' DESK-TOP
The glove leather of the shoes contain feet crossed at the ankles, cocked on the heels and nestled up against one another like a pair of love birds. From time to time the shoes separate an inch or so, then give one another a playful tap - the wire on the recorder moves continuously however, winding tautly around itself. The red light on the machine intermittently flashes to indicate sound levels.
BERMAN'S VOICE (rehearsing, but shaky and nervous): '- oh no, oh no, oh no Kitty, you told me you were going to Murietta Hot Springs and now I find you here at -'
The shaky recitatif breaks off. The shoes have separated, poised in anticipation.
WALSH'S VOICE (a stage whisper): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel -'
BERMAN
an anxious and olive skinned man sitting in front of Gittes' desk and shoes.
BERMAN (going on): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel - in Redondo Beach at two in the afternoon on October 21, 1948 with this man - '
The shoes bump rudely into one another and GITTES sits up into FRAME, visible along with his legs and shoes.
GITTES: Mr. Berman, it's very unnatural for a man to discuss what year it is when he's staring at his wife in bed with another man -
BERMAN: But my lawyer said -
GITTES: - we'll establish the date, let us worry about that. Just -
He gestures gently but firmly in the direction of the recorder."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I picked the wrong two drafts to examine for clues on "how to solve story problems."
I did learn a new word from them, though: "tryptich."
The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 10-28-84)
The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 2-25-85)
Scripts change from concept to production. A LOT.
This is why I generally avoid previous drafts...
...except this week, I read two drafts of Robert Towne's The Two Jakes.
I WANTED to see how Towne made changes to his scripts.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SIDENOTE TO THE READER:
Yes, yes, yes, Towne's scripts are not always pretty on the page.
They tend to be long (140-180 pgs.), convoluted, and full of paragraphs everywhere.
But in an era of copycats, his scripts stand out: an original voice, a grasp on what's missing in today's films, i.e., drama (see essay), and something interesting to say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GOOD NEWS: These two drafts (1984, 1985) did not disappoint: a good script, with good bones, complicated characters, everyone is guilty.
BAD NEWS: I was disappointed by how little changed (or needed to be changed) from the 1984 draft to 1985 draft. Towne seems to have had a solid base from the start. (Sigh.)
I do not know how close these are to the final version, but I leave you to ponder the wonder of the opening shot.
ex. "INT. JAKE GITTES' OFFICE (DAY) - A WIRE RECORDER AND A PAIR OF WING-TIPPED SHOES ON GITTES' DESK-TOP
The glove leather of the shoes contain feet crossed at the ankles, cocked on the heels and nestled up against one another like a pair of love birds. From time to time the shoes separate an inch or so, then give one another a playful tap - the wire on the recorder moves continuously however, winding tautly around itself. The red light on the machine intermittently flashes to indicate sound levels.
BERMAN'S VOICE (rehearsing, but shaky and nervous): '- oh no, oh no, oh no Kitty, you told me you were going to Murietta Hot Springs and now I find you here at -'
The shaky recitatif breaks off. The shoes have separated, poised in anticipation.
WALSH'S VOICE (a stage whisper): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel -'
BERMAN
an anxious and olive skinned man sitting in front of Gittes' desk and shoes.
BERMAN (going on): ' - the Bird-of-Paradise Motel - in Redondo Beach at two in the afternoon on October 21, 1948 with this man - '
The shoes bump rudely into one another and GITTES sits up into FRAME, visible along with his legs and shoes.
GITTES: Mr. Berman, it's very unnatural for a man to discuss what year it is when he's staring at his wife in bed with another man -
BERMAN: But my lawyer said -
GITTES: - we'll establish the date, let us worry about that. Just -
He gestures gently but firmly in the direction of the recorder."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I picked the wrong two drafts to examine for clues on "how to solve story problems."
I did learn a new word from them, though: "tryptich."
The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 10-28-84)
The Two Jakes (1990)(draft dated 2-25-85)
Monday, June 27, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Frenzy (1972) - How Hitchcock Hides Exposition
[Quick Summary: An innocent ex-R.A.F. officer is accused of two murders, while the real serial murderer is on the loose.]
Yes, yes, yes, Hitchcock scripts are filled with Stuff We Do Not Do Today:
- Lots of shots and directions
- Long length (148 pgs. here)
- Long paragraphs.
BUT they are excellent examples of how to tell a story.
For example, humor is an excellent means to distract and hide exposition:
ex. "INT. DINING AREA/LIVING ROOM - OXFORD'S APARTMENT - EVENING
Oxford, sitting at the table, watches apprehensively as his wife brings the tureen of soup from the kitchen, and puts it down on the table. His worry increases as she starts to ladle it out, and strangely shaped objects are seen to plop into his soup bowl along with the liquid.
MRS. OXFORD: It's a soupe de poisson, dear. I know you'll enjoy it.
OXFORD: I have no doubt of it.
If there is any irony in her husband's last statement, Mrs. Oxford appears to be unaware of it. She moves off towards the kitchen.
MRS. OXFORD: I've just got a couple of things to do in the kitchen. Won't be a minute.
Left by himself, Oxford stirs his soup thoughtfully.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): Well, what's new in the case? (mocking him) Any sensational breaks?
OXFORD: No. I'll be pleased when we get Mr. Richard Blaney inside, though.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): Any idea where he is?
Oxford lowers his head and sniffs the bowl of soup.
OXFORD: No. Our only lead to him left her job this morning, and what's more, I don't know where she is either.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): You're certain, he's the one?
OXFORD: He's the one, all right. There's not even the complication of another suspect. It has to be him.
He lifts his spoon out of the soup and brings out the gaping-mouthed head of a small fish. Carefully he places it on a side plate. He then tries again --gets some liquid, and drinks it cautiously. He gives it a highly qualified nod.
OXFORD: We have him identified as leaving the matrimonial agency at the time his ex was killed. We have the suit which he found necessary to send to the cleaners in a hurry. And we have the evidence of the face powder and the Salvation Army Hostel."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Humor can hide a lot of exposition.
Frenzy (1972)
by Anthony Shaffer
Based on the novel by Arthur La Bern
Yes, yes, yes, Hitchcock scripts are filled with Stuff We Do Not Do Today:
- Lots of shots and directions
- Long length (148 pgs. here)
- Long paragraphs.
BUT they are excellent examples of how to tell a story.
For example, humor is an excellent means to distract and hide exposition:
ex. "INT. DINING AREA/LIVING ROOM - OXFORD'S APARTMENT - EVENING
Oxford, sitting at the table, watches apprehensively as his wife brings the tureen of soup from the kitchen, and puts it down on the table. His worry increases as she starts to ladle it out, and strangely shaped objects are seen to plop into his soup bowl along with the liquid.
MRS. OXFORD: It's a soupe de poisson, dear. I know you'll enjoy it.
OXFORD: I have no doubt of it.
If there is any irony in her husband's last statement, Mrs. Oxford appears to be unaware of it. She moves off towards the kitchen.
MRS. OXFORD: I've just got a couple of things to do in the kitchen. Won't be a minute.
Left by himself, Oxford stirs his soup thoughtfully.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): Well, what's new in the case? (mocking him) Any sensational breaks?
OXFORD: No. I'll be pleased when we get Mr. Richard Blaney inside, though.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): Any idea where he is?
Oxford lowers his head and sniffs the bowl of soup.
OXFORD: No. Our only lead to him left her job this morning, and what's more, I don't know where she is either.
MRS. OXFORD (V.O.): You're certain, he's the one?
OXFORD: He's the one, all right. There's not even the complication of another suspect. It has to be him.
He lifts his spoon out of the soup and brings out the gaping-mouthed head of a small fish. Carefully he places it on a side plate. He then tries again --gets some liquid, and drinks it cautiously. He gives it a highly qualified nod.
OXFORD: We have him identified as leaving the matrimonial agency at the time his ex was killed. We have the suit which he found necessary to send to the cleaners in a hurry. And we have the evidence of the face powder and the Salvation Army Hostel."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Humor can hide a lot of exposition.
Frenzy (1972)
by Anthony Shaffer
Based on the novel by Arthur La Bern
Monday, June 20, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Minnie and Moskowitz (1971) - Annoyed, Petty, REAL
[Quick Summary: Lonely, mismatched museum worker and parking lot attendant fall in love.]
This is a messy story about two misfits falling in love.
I like misfit characters. I love falling in love stories.
However, I admit I would've passed on this script because I couldn't see it as a film.*
Robert Towne put the dilemma this way:
Luckily in this case, the writer was the director, John Cassavetes, who was generating some heat at this time in indie films.
I think Cassavetes was aiming to show two maddening, contradictory characters trying to work out a relationship. It's annoying, petty, and REAL.
He succeeded, as I felt annoyed, petty, but satisfied that these two did belong together.
ex. "Seymour puts his arm around Minnie.
MINNIE: I can't do those dances.
SEYMOUR: What dances?
MINNIE: It's very important to me that when we go inside there I don't feel like a fool...because...
SEYMOUR: You're with me. You don't want to go dancing, we don't have to go dancing.
MINNIE: I want to go dancing.
SEYMOUR: Okay."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I respect scripts that make me feel, regardless of the rest.
Minnie and Moskowitz (1971)
by John Cassavetes
*I like more narrative structure. This is mostly a loose and free character study, which I could see as very attractive to actors.
This is a messy story about two misfits falling in love.
I like misfit characters. I love falling in love stories.
However, I admit I would've passed on this script because I couldn't see it as a film.*
Robert Towne put the dilemma this way:
The only way a screenplay can be evaluated, almost by definition, is not on the page, but by viewing the movie it caused to be made. It certainly can be read and even enjoyed, but you're stuck with the inescapable fact that it was written to be seen.So what do you, as a writer, do? Find a director and producer who can see it.
Luckily in this case, the writer was the director, John Cassavetes, who was generating some heat at this time in indie films.
I think Cassavetes was aiming to show two maddening, contradictory characters trying to work out a relationship. It's annoying, petty, and REAL.
He succeeded, as I felt annoyed, petty, but satisfied that these two did belong together.
ex. "Seymour puts his arm around Minnie.
MINNIE: I can't do those dances.
SEYMOUR: What dances?
MINNIE: It's very important to me that when we go inside there I don't feel like a fool...because...
SEYMOUR: You're with me. You don't want to go dancing, we don't have to go dancing.
MINNIE: I want to go dancing.
SEYMOUR: Okay."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I respect scripts that make me feel, regardless of the rest.
Minnie and Moskowitz (1971)
by John Cassavetes
*I like more narrative structure. This is mostly a loose and free character study, which I could see as very attractive to actors.
Monday, June 13, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Tequila Sunrise (1988) - Atypical Love "Square"
[Quick Summary: A narcotics detective tries to pin his childhood friend, a smooth, personable drug dealer.]
Like Chinatown, this story defies easy description.
It twists and turns on itself, ravels and unravels. It's complicated.
Suffice it to say:
- Frescia and McKussic grew up together. They still like each other.
- Frescia is a narcotics cop now. McKussic may/may not be retired from dealing drug.
- Frescia's superior is pressuring him to use McKussic to find kingpin Carlos.
- Frescia does not want to involve McKussic.
- McKussic has a crush on Jo Ann, the restaurant manager, but is shy.
- Frescia meets Jo Ann and has no problem asking her out.
For 2/3 of the script,* I liked the dynamic of two friends pursuing one woman, but this isn't a typical love triangle. Crime is added as the 4th person, i.e., a love "square."
In the scene below, I like how that 4th addition make a nice seduction even better.
But it's complicated too: Frescia is trying to flirt with Jo Ann, protect her from McKussic, protect McKussic from the police, yet nail McKussic if he's still dealing.
"ex. "FULL SHOT - BOOTH - JO ANN AND FRESCIA
seated while a waiter pours champagne. It is Jo Ann who samples it and nods approval, with Frescia watching.
FRESCIA: Arturo's looking at me and I don't think he approves.
JO ANN: Of what?
FRESCIA: The way I look at you -- (quickly) -- It's quite an experience watching you work.
JO ANN: Oh?
FRESCIA: Like you're in a play and everything's on cue. You're kind of letter perfect.
JO ANN: --Thank you.
FRESCIA: Tell me, do you ever flub your lines?
Jo Ann sets down her champagne glass. Pleasantly:
JO ANN: --Is that a polite way of suggesting I lack spontaneity?
FRESCIA: No --I enjoy the performance.
JO ANN: (amused) --But you'd like to see me flustered.
FRESCIA: Seen Mac lately? ... Mr. McKussic is going to ask you to cater a party.
JO ANN: That is our business.
The salad tray rolls up. The waiter hovers over them, mixing the caesars.
FRESCIA: (reluctantly) --Well, we think it involves his business.
JO ANN: Are you suggesting I refuse because it's a party for drug dealers?
FRESCIA: (embarassed) No! (after the waiter leaves) ...It's just if it's for this one particular guy, he's particularly unpleasant.
JO ANN: You mean violent?
FRESCIA: Oh, I doubt that. Unless of course he doesn't like your lasagne.
JO ANN: (amused) I'm sure Mr. McKussic's friend will be very well behaved.
FRESCIA: Why would you call him a friend?
JO ANN: --It's a figure of speech, Lieutenant. Who else would Mr. McKussic give a party for?
FRESCIA: A business associate. As it happens, Carlos and Mac are friends.
JO ANN: --And you and Mac are friends --
FRESCIA: --That's right --
JO ANN: --Well, it sounds like a pretty friendly situation all around --
FRESCIA: Not exactly. Mac and I went to school together in Redondo Beach and played water polo, Carlos and Mac went to ail together in Mexico and played horseshoes and ping-pong. Nobody knows Carlos. Nobody even knows what Carlos looks like but Mac --
Jo Ann carefully places her salad fork prongs down on the plate.
JO ANN: Then you want to know what Carlos looks like and you're asking me to spy on a customer so you can find out --
FRESCIA: (exasperated) Absolutely not!...Look, let's not discuss my business, his business, or your business, okay?
JO ANN: (pleased with herself) That leaves us with nothing to talk about.
FRESCIA: -- Let's eat."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Towne really is a master of twisting the expected. I expected a love triangle, but not a love square.
Tequila Sunrise (1988)
Written & directed by Robert Towne
* I didn't like the last third nearly as much.
Like Chinatown, this story defies easy description.
It twists and turns on itself, ravels and unravels. It's complicated.
Suffice it to say:
- Frescia and McKussic grew up together. They still like each other.
- Frescia is a narcotics cop now. McKussic may/may not be retired from dealing drug.
- Frescia's superior is pressuring him to use McKussic to find kingpin Carlos.
- Frescia does not want to involve McKussic.
- McKussic has a crush on Jo Ann, the restaurant manager, but is shy.
- Frescia meets Jo Ann and has no problem asking her out.
For 2/3 of the script,* I liked the dynamic of two friends pursuing one woman, but this isn't a typical love triangle. Crime is added as the 4th person, i.e., a love "square."
In the scene below, I like how that 4th addition make a nice seduction even better.
But it's complicated too: Frescia is trying to flirt with Jo Ann, protect her from McKussic, protect McKussic from the police, yet nail McKussic if he's still dealing.
"ex. "FULL SHOT - BOOTH - JO ANN AND FRESCIA
seated while a waiter pours champagne. It is Jo Ann who samples it and nods approval, with Frescia watching.
FRESCIA: Arturo's looking at me and I don't think he approves.
JO ANN: Of what?
FRESCIA: The way I look at you -- (quickly) -- It's quite an experience watching you work.
JO ANN: Oh?
FRESCIA: Like you're in a play and everything's on cue. You're kind of letter perfect.
JO ANN: --Thank you.
FRESCIA: Tell me, do you ever flub your lines?
Jo Ann sets down her champagne glass. Pleasantly:
JO ANN: --Is that a polite way of suggesting I lack spontaneity?
FRESCIA: No --I enjoy the performance.
JO ANN: (amused) --But you'd like to see me flustered.
FRESCIA: Seen Mac lately? ... Mr. McKussic is going to ask you to cater a party.
JO ANN: That is our business.
The salad tray rolls up. The waiter hovers over them, mixing the caesars.
FRESCIA: (reluctantly) --Well, we think it involves his business.
JO ANN: Are you suggesting I refuse because it's a party for drug dealers?
FRESCIA: (embarassed) No! (after the waiter leaves) ...It's just if it's for this one particular guy, he's particularly unpleasant.
JO ANN: You mean violent?
FRESCIA: Oh, I doubt that. Unless of course he doesn't like your lasagne.
JO ANN: (amused) I'm sure Mr. McKussic's friend will be very well behaved.
FRESCIA: Why would you call him a friend?
JO ANN: --It's a figure of speech, Lieutenant. Who else would Mr. McKussic give a party for?
FRESCIA: A business associate. As it happens, Carlos and Mac are friends.
JO ANN: --And you and Mac are friends --
FRESCIA: --That's right --
JO ANN: --Well, it sounds like a pretty friendly situation all around --
FRESCIA: Not exactly. Mac and I went to school together in Redondo Beach and played water polo, Carlos and Mac went to ail together in Mexico and played horseshoes and ping-pong. Nobody knows Carlos. Nobody even knows what Carlos looks like but Mac --
Jo Ann carefully places her salad fork prongs down on the plate.
JO ANN: Then you want to know what Carlos looks like and you're asking me to spy on a customer so you can find out --
FRESCIA: (exasperated) Absolutely not!...Look, let's not discuss my business, his business, or your business, okay?
JO ANN: (pleased with herself) That leaves us with nothing to talk about.
FRESCIA: -- Let's eat."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Towne really is a master of twisting the expected. I expected a love triangle, but not a love square.
Tequila Sunrise (1988)
Written & directed by Robert Towne
* I didn't like the last third nearly as much.
Monday, June 6, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Last Detail (1973) - Dialogue Should Complement the Movement
[Quick Summary: Two sailors decide to live it up while escorting a third sailor to naval prison.]
The 1st reason to get this book: The introduction is a 1995 article Robert Towne wrote, "On Moving Pictures."* ** *** THIS IS WELL WORTH THE PRICE OF THE BOOK.
The 2nd reason: The two (Oscar nominated) screenplays.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I first read the intro article, where Towne writes:
Here, Buddusky and Mulhall don't know each other, or their prisoner Meadows.
However, they have to work together and get Meadows to prison.
They begin to like Meadows, who is naive, well intentioned, and honorable. They also discover that Meadows has light fingers, especially for candy.
The scene below is about 1/3 into the script.
Note:
- All the movement around and between characters.
- The dialogue is teasing and complements the movement.
- Movement + dialogue = Buddusky knows Meadows's weakness, Meadows knows Buddusky knows
ex. "EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET - DAY
The bus with CAMDEN on it rolls up. The three start out. Meadows tugs at Buddusky's arm.
MEADOWS: Hey, Bad Ass, want a candy bar?
Meadows flicks his eyes toward the candy counter. Buddusky smiles. He winks at Meadows, grabs him around the scruff of the neck and shakes him with mock roughness.
BUDDUSKY: Get your ass on the bus, sailor."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: A character's movement is primary, and dialogue should complement, not compete.
The Last Detail (1973)
by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by Darryl Ponicsan
*Originally published in Scenario magazine, 1995.
**Even in 1995, Towne was so prescient on many topics: what silent filmmakers knew better than filmmakers today; what is wrong with superhero movies; etc.
***My favorite part is where he explains Hollywood's historic hatred toward writers: "In other words, he is the asshole who keeps everybody else from going to work."
The 1st reason to get this book: The introduction is a 1995 article Robert Towne wrote, "On Moving Pictures."* ** *** THIS IS WELL WORTH THE PRICE OF THE BOOK.
The 2nd reason: The two (Oscar nominated) screenplays.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I first read the intro article, where Towne writes:
But it has always struck me that in movies, far more than any other dramatic medium, movement, not simply action, is most defining of character.He goes on to write:
The point is that a fine actor on screen conveys a staggering amount of information before he ever opens his mouth. The screenwriter must be skillful not to interfere with or detract from that information by injudicious dialogue. He must be very skillful with dialogue to add to that information.Then I saw what Towne meant when I read The Last Detail.
Here, Buddusky and Mulhall don't know each other, or their prisoner Meadows.
However, they have to work together and get Meadows to prison.
They begin to like Meadows, who is naive, well intentioned, and honorable. They also discover that Meadows has light fingers, especially for candy.
The scene below is about 1/3 into the script.
Note:
- All the movement around and between characters.
- The dialogue is teasing and complements the movement.
- Movement + dialogue = Buddusky knows Meadows's weakness, Meadows knows Buddusky knows
ex. "EXT. PHILADELPHIA STREET - DAY
The bus with CAMDEN on it rolls up. The three start out. Meadows tugs at Buddusky's arm.
MEADOWS: Hey, Bad Ass, want a candy bar?
Meadows flicks his eyes toward the candy counter. Buddusky smiles. He winks at Meadows, grabs him around the scruff of the neck and shakes him with mock roughness.
BUDDUSKY: Get your ass on the bus, sailor."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: A character's movement is primary, and dialogue should complement, not compete.
The Last Detail (1973)
by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by Darryl Ponicsan
*Originally published in Scenario magazine, 1995.
**Even in 1995, Towne was so prescient on many topics: what silent filmmakers knew better than filmmakers today; what is wrong with superhero movies; etc.
***My favorite part is where he explains Hollywood's historic hatred toward writers: "In other words, he is the asshole who keeps everybody else from going to work."
Monday, May 30, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Spartan (2004) - Shifting In, Shifting Out (from Scope to Wideshot)
[Quick Summary: Special Ops ranger hunts for the kidnapped daughter of a U.S. official.]
3 Things I Appreciate in a Script:
1) Clarity of why we are here. Here, it's laser focused on finding a missing college girl.
2) An intriguing opening.
ex. "Now, the two men look across the ravine at the young woman, seen disappearing over a ridge.
SCOTT (quietly): ...you better catch her..."
3) It's easy to follow when shifting in/out from a scope to wideshot.
I find it helpful to study how Mamet shifts our focus from inside a scope to a wideshot. He uses clear indicators to help the reader see when:
- We're in the scope (1st line, "in green, through a sniperscope), versus
- A specific location ("in the house"), versus
- On the character in a wider shot ("on Anton").
ex. "ANGLE EXT. THE BUILDING. Where we see the man, and Scott. We see the scene in green, through a sniperscope.
ANGLE, on Anton, looking through the scope.
ANGLE CU Anton, as he sees something in the scope.
ANGLE, in the house. Scott advancing toward the man.
SCOTT: ...I just wannit to know, I just came to ask you that question...
The man backs up, past a half-open glass French door.
ANGLE, on Scott, as he advances toward the man.
ANGLE, ANTON'S POV. Through the sniperscope. The faint traces of what might be the Picasso symbol.
ANGLE, on Anton, as we see him move the sniperscope and adjust its magnification toward the symbol...."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that there was story reason for the shifting in or out. In the example above, it increased the tension as Anton watched from afar, helpless.
Spartan (2004)(draft dated Aug. 2002)
by David Mamet
3 Things I Appreciate in a Script:
1) Clarity of why we are here. Here, it's laser focused on finding a missing college girl.
2) An intriguing opening.
ex. "Now, the two men look across the ravine at the young woman, seen disappearing over a ridge.
SCOTT (quietly): ...you better catch her..."
3) It's easy to follow when shifting in/out from a scope to wideshot.
I find it helpful to study how Mamet shifts our focus from inside a scope to a wideshot. He uses clear indicators to help the reader see when:
- We're in the scope (1st line, "in green, through a sniperscope), versus
- A specific location ("in the house"), versus
- On the character in a wider shot ("on Anton").
ex. "ANGLE EXT. THE BUILDING. Where we see the man, and Scott. We see the scene in green, through a sniperscope.
ANGLE, on Anton, looking through the scope.
ANGLE CU Anton, as he sees something in the scope.
ANGLE, in the house. Scott advancing toward the man.
SCOTT: ...I just wannit to know, I just came to ask you that question...
The man backs up, past a half-open glass French door.
ANGLE, on Scott, as he advances toward the man.
ANGLE, ANTON'S POV. Through the sniperscope. The faint traces of what might be the Picasso symbol.
ANGLE, on Anton, as we see him move the sniperscope and adjust its magnification toward the symbol...."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that there was story reason for the shifting in or out. In the example above, it increased the tension as Anton watched from afar, helpless.
Spartan (2004)(draft dated Aug. 2002)
by David Mamet
Monday, May 23, 2016
TODAY'S NUGGET: Heist (2001) - A Jaded Mood
[Quick Summary: A thief is blackmailed into one last heist, which is full of crosses and double-crosses.]
This script has all the Mamet razzle dazzle: cross/double crosses, magic, heists, and complex characters.
However, it left me feeling sad and worn.
Perhaps that's apt because although these characters are motivated, loyal, and smart, their mood is jaded and tinged with sadness.
It bleeds into their actions, as seen in the example below.
Watch how these characters are motivated, loyal, and smart (all pro-active traits), but the mood, i.e., "distinctive emotional quality or character," is wearied, seen-it-all.
ex. "On Blane, as a car runs into him.
Blane hits the hood of the car.
ANGLE
On his hand, as it comes down, with a thump, on the hood of the car.
He rolls off the hood, and onto the ground.
ANGLE
On the two policeman, turning to the sound of the accident.
In the b.g. we see Moore, turning the corner.
ANGLE
On Blane, on the ground, holding his leg.
BLANE:...oh god...oh god...
ANGLE on the crowd of onlookers, as the policemen kneel to Blane. Blane starts to his feet. In the back of the crowd we see Pincus, who looks on for a second, and then melts away.
ANGLE
Sidewalk, passerby. Moore walking in the street. Pincus comes up behind him.
PINCUS (sotto): ...he's okay.
MOORE: Yeah, well, you know, that was his road game.
PINCUS: He's too old for that.
MOORE (shrugs): It's his job. Let's get to work."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I saw how mood was like another layer on top of the story. It's similar to a sustained attitude.
Heist (2001)(draft dated Mar. 1999)
by David Mamet
This script has all the Mamet razzle dazzle: cross/double crosses, magic, heists, and complex characters.
However, it left me feeling sad and worn.
Perhaps that's apt because although these characters are motivated, loyal, and smart, their mood is jaded and tinged with sadness.
It bleeds into their actions, as seen in the example below.
Watch how these characters are motivated, loyal, and smart (all pro-active traits), but the mood, i.e., "distinctive emotional quality or character," is wearied, seen-it-all.
ex. "On Blane, as a car runs into him.
Blane hits the hood of the car.
ANGLE
On his hand, as it comes down, with a thump, on the hood of the car.
He rolls off the hood, and onto the ground.
ANGLE
On the two policeman, turning to the sound of the accident.
In the b.g. we see Moore, turning the corner.
ANGLE
On Blane, on the ground, holding his leg.
BLANE:...oh god...oh god...
ANGLE on the crowd of onlookers, as the policemen kneel to Blane. Blane starts to his feet. In the back of the crowd we see Pincus, who looks on for a second, and then melts away.
ANGLE
Sidewalk, passerby. Moore walking in the street. Pincus comes up behind him.
PINCUS (sotto): ...he's okay.
MOORE: Yeah, well, you know, that was his road game.
PINCUS: He's too old for that.
MOORE (shrugs): It's his job. Let's get to work."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I saw how mood was like another layer on top of the story. It's similar to a sustained attitude.
Heist (2001)(draft dated Mar. 1999)
by David Mamet
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