[Quick Summary: Two brothers rob their parents' jewelry store, but it goes very wrong.]
I find that Sidney Lumet scripts pull you in without you knowing it.
They get the reader to participate.
ex. "INT. HOSPITAL - DAY
Gina and Andy hurry down a long corridor to...
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM - DAY
They turn into it and both stop. A lone man sits hunched over in a chair with his face buried in his hands. Andy runs to him as Gina hangs back.
ANDY: Dad!
The man looks up and we see it's Charles."
Note:
- This scene does not reveal who the man is right away.
- It makes us wait to discover his identity WITH the other characters.
- We're curious about the "lone man", so we keep reading.
(Also, I like how the scene is uncluttered, i.e., not overloaded with adjectives or description.)
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't tell the reader everything immediately.
When possible, let the reader discover things with the characters.
P.S. If you're looking for how to segues into a flashback, this script has several excellent examples.
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead (2007)
by Kelley Masterson
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